Anaria - Part 3 - Amongst the Ashes - Rusalka

Amongst the Ashes

The darkness made it difficult to see for a moment who had joined her. The figure came closer. She looked up into his face from where she sat as he came to stand next to her on the crumbling walkway. She shivered a little with apprehension as she recognized him.

Anomen's eyes were not turned towards her. Instead, they gazed out beyond the wall as she had just been doing. His face was troubled, lined with many cares, visibly worried even in the near darkness. He held his arms against crossed over his chest as her surveyed the wreckage before them. They remained in silence for several minutes.

Anaria wondered what he was thinking. She too returned her eyes to the ravaged city as the silence between them lasted. The deaths of hundreds still lingered in too recent memory. Their suffering souls unwilling and unable to rest seemed to hover in the choked air about the graveyard the place had become.

At last Anomen spoke. "I think.... the destruction of this town shall haunt my mind's eye for many nights to come, Anaria. When first we crossed the bridge, I thought this sight worse even then the Hells we have seen. The screams, the bodies, the heat from the fires driving us back and blistering our skin. The thick veil of choking smoke that blinded our eyes and stung our throats. Death and suffering on a scale I have never seen before. I.... cannot help but feel we are partly to blame."

Anaria's earlier thoughts were echoed in Anomen's words and truth of them burned inside her head. But she was the only one who was truly to blame. "We? You mean me," she said, a bit more harshly than she meant to. "All this is my fault."

Anomen turned sharply at the bitterness in her voice. He looked searchingly at her, concern written across his features. "My lady, the rest of us are as much at fault as you. We all knew the city could not last much longer...."

"No, Anomen. It is me." She tried not to show how close she was to weeping. "It's the curse of my tainted blood. I was born to sow chaos and destruction where ever I go! No matter what I do, it always brings death to those around me! No matter how I try to stop it, the innocent suffer because of what I am! Willing or not I do my father's work by trying to do what I think is right!"

A sob caught in her throat stopped her from going on for a second. Anomen now knelt by her side, a warm hand resting on her shoulder. He spoke softly, doing his best to comfort her. "Anaria, you cannot believe such things about yourself. As a Knight of the Order I am sworn to protect the weak and defend life, and I know you seek only to do the same. I know the goodness and strength of your heart, Anaria, and I know evil has no place there."

Her arms wound tightly around him, clinging to his warmth and the shred of comfort he offered. He showed a little surprise but allowed her to hold him. His hands rested gently on her back as she buried her face on his shoulder.

"Anomen, there is evil inside me. You've seen it just as everyone else has. No matter what I do to fight it, it is still there. When I fight I can f-feel all the hate and anger inside me trying to get out, revelling in the bloodshed. I almost b-begin to enjoy it again. The deaths make me feel.... alive"

Anomen's grip became a little tighter. "Death.... is a part of you, and I cannot deny that. And it troubles me. But death is in some measure, a part of us all. I too have felt the heat of battle churning my blood. The glory of a defeated foe lying at my feet thrills me, though I know it is not right to revel in the death of others. It is dangerous. The greatest evil lies within us, the power we wield that attempts to seduce and twist us. We must remain vigilant to withstand corruption, but we must acknowledge the darkness inside us all as well. You are not alone in fearing what is inside you; no one is. It is our actions, however, that we are judged on."

Anaria sighed, feeling some sense of relief. Perhaps he was right. Everyone had a darkness within them to fight. It was not the feelings inside that made someone evil, but the actions they took. She fought for others and to do good in the world. And Anomen could see that.

"Thank you...." she said finally. "You're right.... Anomen. We do all feel anger and hate sometimes, but it does not make us evil."

She thought she could feel him smile. "You were the one who taught me that, my lady."

They lapsed into silence again. Her head still rested on his shoulder. She could hear the soft sound of his breath, slow and calm. He understood her so well. It felt so good to have his arms around her. He was so strong and gentle and kind. She felt safe in his arms. And loved.

She felt her hand stray to the back of his neck, her fingers playing in his soft hair, a bit damp still with the sweat of the day. She took in his scent, savouring the musky sweetness of it. She wished she could taste it. Taste the cloying sweetness of his mouth as she had before.

Her dry lips brushed softly on the skin of his neck.

He stayed still for only a few seconds before gently extricating himself from her embrace. She tried to hold on to him but he firmly pulled her arms away. He held them at her sides as he looked fully into her eyes. There was a hesitancy about his withdrawal, as if regret and desire stirred in him as well. But his voice was firm.

"My lady.... I believe I should go now." He stood to leave.

"Anomen, please don't! Don't go! Please, just stay with me."

"My lady, I cannot. We begin to stray into thoughts that are best left alone. Perhaps I should not have come here."

"Don't say that. Don't go. Please stay here with me. I couldn't bear to be alone. I can't bear it."

"You should come back to the camp with me. Kelsey probably wonders where you are."

"No!"

Anaria grabbed him and refusing to let go.

"Anomen, I love you!"

Anomen stood still, the darkness clouding the play of emotions on his face. He let out a tremor of breath.

"Anaria...."

Her voice was lower now but the urgency of it remained. "Anomen, I need your comfort and your strength. Your love. Don't leave me alone. I need you and your.... touch."

Her lips found his briefly, but he would not give in just yet.

"Anaria.... what of Kelsey? This.... this cannot be what you truly desire."

Kelsey.

No, she didn't want to think about him. He had been so distant, so removed. He was lost inside himself. He was lost to her. She frightened him. Why should he care about her anymore? But Anomen was here and real and he loved her.

"He's.... changed, Anomen. He doesn't love me anymore. I know it. I'm alone even when I'm with him. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Gently she reached for his hand, placing it against her cheek. It stayed there, fingers brushing softly against her temple.

"You said you loved me, Anomen. You do.... don't you?"

His voice was raised barely above a whisper.

"I do, my love.... I do...."

The warm night breeze continued to blow smoke into the air, chasing it away from the harbour that once belonged to the city of Saradush. Amongst the ruins the bodies of two lovers intertwined in the darkness, oblivious to the silent ghosts that hung in the quiet night about them.

Amongst the Ashes

The darkness made it difficult to see for a moment who had joined her. The figure came closer. She looked up into his face from where she sat as he came to stand next to her on the crumbling walkway. She shivered a little with apprehension as she recognized him.

So! It wasn't imoen.

A sob caught in her throat stopped her from going on for a second. Anomen now knelt by her side, a warm hand resting on her shoulder. He spoke softly, doing his best to comfort her. "Anaria, you cannot believe such things about yourself. As a Knight of the Order I am sworn to protect the weak and defend life, and I know you seek only to do the same. I know the goodness and strength of your heart, Anaria, and I know evil has no place there."

But it tries to make room.

"Anomen, there is evil inside me. You've seen it just as everyone else has. No matter what I do to fight it, it is still there. When I fight I can f-feel all the hate and anger inside me trying to get out, revelling in the bloodshed. I almost b-begin to enjoy it again. The deaths make me feel.... alive"

She's drowning in despair.

She thought she could feel him smile. "You were the one who taught me that, my lady."

They lapsed into silence again. Her head still rested on his shoulder. She could hear the soft sound of his breath, slow and calm. He understood her so well. It felt so good to have his arms around her. He was so strong and gentle and kind. She felt safe in his arms. And loved.

Awww.

"My lady.... I believe I should go now." He stood to leave.

Stay, you dim-wit.

The warm night breeze continued to blow smoke into the air, chasing it away from the harbour that once belonged to the city of Saradush. Amongst the ruins the bodies of two lovers intertwined in the darkness, oblivious to the silent ghosts that hung in the quiet night about them.

I knew it would end that way, but what about kelsey?

Hunter

Anaria - Part 3 - Amongst the Ashes

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