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Maintaining the Balance--Chapter the Fourth


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#1 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 07:15 PM

Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
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Maintaining the Balance


After plowing through a small army of goblins, which managed to surround the party in a narrow hallway, Tansy and company found themselves confronted, for the first time, by a branching path. To the left and the right were closed doors, while straight ahead was another passage, which almost immediately twisted out of sight.

“Well, now what?” Imoen asked, eyeing the door nearest her.

“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.

“I think,” Jaheira said, glancing significantly at the girls, “that we should stop for a bit. We are all tired, and will surely think more clearly after a rest.”

“The Pretty Druid Lady is right,” Minsc boomed. “We will not be able to properly kick the Butts of Evil ™ if we are too tired to lift our feet.”

*****

Jaheira was right, Tansy thought. She was indeed much calmer. She hadn’t slept, of course—none of them had—but she had meditated, and it had calmed the turmoil in her mind.

Conjuring up images of ancient forests, quiet and sleepy in the late afternoon sun, had soothed her jangling nerves. As she slipped deeper into the meditation, she imagined herself actually lying on the soft grass beneath an oak of formidable size. She felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, heard the lazy, listening silence of the forest, and smelled the scent of old wood.

Afterwards, she felt reenergized, and much more at peace than she had been in a long time.

After a short (very short) discussion, it was decided that the twisting passageway offered the best chance of escape. Though no one said as much, it was plain that everyone was a little afraid to see what horrors lay beyond the closed doors.

The corridor turned out to hide another closed door, and a second goblin ambush. Coming to the end of the hall, the four were confronted by a door.

“You know, I think we’re going to have to open a door sooner or later,” Imoen said.

“I guess so.” Tansy made no move towards the handle. They all stared at the wood door. It looked quite ordinary; solid and a little splintery.

“Well, go on and open it,” Jaheira said finally.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.

“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.

The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.

#2 Guest_ShadowHunter_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 07:50 PM

oh! quite an ending there. another good chapter- your discritive, you go into personalities, and you have some emotions in ur main character. i cant wait for more.

-sh

#3 Guest_Dark-Mage_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 08:06 PM

Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
_____________________
__________________

Maintaining the Balance


After plowing through a small army of goblins, which managed to surround the party in a narrow hallway, Tansy and company found themselves confronted, for the first time, by a branching path. To the left and the right were closed doors, while straight ahead was another passage, which almost immediately twisted out of sight.

“Well, now what?” Imoen asked, eyeing the door nearest her.

“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.

“I think,” Jaheira said, glancing significantly at the girls, “that we should stop for a bit. We are all tired, and will surely think more clearly after a rest.”

“The Pretty Druid Lady is right,” Minsc boomed. “We will not be able to properly kick the Butts of Evil ™ if we are too tired to lift our feet.”

*****

Jaheira was right, Tansy thought. She was indeed much calmer. She hadn’t slept, of course—none of them had—but she had meditated, and it had calmed the turmoil in her mind.

Conjuring up images of ancient forests, quiet and sleepy in the late afternoon sun, had soothed her jangling nerves. As she slipped deeper into the meditation, she imagined herself actually lying on the soft grass beneath an oak of formidable size. She felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, heard the lazy, listening silence of the forest, and smelled the scent of old wood.

Afterwards, she felt reenergized, and much more at peace than she had been in a long time.

After a short (very short) discussion, it was decided that the twisting passageway offered the best chance of escape. Though no one said as much, it was plain that everyone was a little afraid to see what horrors lay beyond the closed doors.

The corridor turned out to hide another closed door, and a second goblin ambush. Coming to the end of the hall, the four were confronted by a door.

“You know, I think we’re going to have to open a door sooner or later,” Imoen said.

“I guess so.” Tansy made no move towards the handle. They all stared at the wood door. It looked quite ordinary; solid and a little splintery.

“Well, go on and open it,” Jaheira said finally.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.

“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.

The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.


I have read all four chaptes and i must say your writing is very good :twisted: mush better then mine :twisted:

#4 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 02:17 AM

oh! quite an ending there. another good chapter- your discritive, you go into personalities, and you have some emotions in ur main character. i cant wait for more.

-sh



Thanks. I'm so glad people like my work!

#5 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 02:20 AM

I have read all four chaptes and i must say your writing is very good :) mush better then mine :wink:


Thank you. I haven't read anything of yours, so I'll reserve judgement. :P

#6 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 08:04 AM

Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
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Dunno... watching the grass grow is pretty entertaining :D

“I think,” Jaheira said, glancing significantly at the girls, “that we should stop for a bit. We are all tired, and will surely think more clearly after a rest.”

“The Pretty Druid Lady is right,” Minsc boomed. “We will not be able to properly kick the Butts of Evil ™ if we are too tired to lift our feet.”


Hehe... if he calls Jae 'Pretty Druid Lady', I wonder how does he call Tansy then? Surely she's a pretty druid lady too?

Conjuring up images of ancient forests, quiet and sleepy in the late afternoon sun, had soothed her jangling nerves. As she slipped deeper into the meditation, she imagined herself actually lying on the soft grass beneath an oak of formidable size. She felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, heard the lazy, listening silence of the forest, and smelled the scent of old wood.


Afterwards, she felt reenergized, and much more at peace than she had been in a long time.


Nice insight into the mind of a druid :)

“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.


The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.


Eh? There's supposed to be a library in there, is it not? Wonder what Tansy saw... :shock:

#7 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 08:09 AM

Ooops, double post... :shock:

#8 Guest_Rose of Jericho_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 03:14 PM

[quote]Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
[/quote]

Hey, I like short chapters. Makes for quick reading -- and commenting. I like it when stuff happens. :lol:

“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.
[/quote]

;) She'll start saying "There's a hole in mother earth that needs filling" or whatever it is that Jaheria says. I like her connection with the natural world. You write a good druid.

“The Pretty Druid Lady is right,” Minsc boomed. “We will not be able to properly kick the Butts of Evil ™ if we are too tired to lift our feet.”
[/quote]

LOL, trust Minsc to speak in capitals like that.

[quote]
Afterwards, she felt reenergized, and much more at peace than she had been in a long time.
[/quote]

I think it's re-enerergized.

[quote]
“You know, I think we’re going to have to open a door sooner or later,” Imoen said.

“I guess so.” Tansy made no move towards the handle. They all stared at the wood door. It looked quite ordinary; solid and a little splintery.

“Well, go on and open it,” Jaheira said finally.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.
[/quote]

:P See, this is how I would approach doors in that environment. Nicely realistic, and funny to boot!

[quote]
“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.

The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.[/quote]

Ooh, cliffhanger endings are always nice. So what's behind door No. 1? Tune it tomorrow! :P

I like short chapters! Nicely done,

Rose of Jericho

#9 Guest_Rose of Jericho_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 03:15 PM

[quote]Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
[/quote]

Hey, I like short chapters. Makes for quick reading -- and commenting. I like it when stuff happens. :lol:

“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.
[/quote]

;) She'll start saying "There's a hole in mother earth that needs filling" or whatever it is that Jaheria says. I like her connection with the natural world. You write a good druid.

“The Pretty Druid Lady is right,” Minsc boomed. “We will not be able to properly kick the Butts of Evil ™ if we are too tired to lift our feet.”
[/quote]

LOL, trust Minsc to speak in capitals like that.

[quote]
Afterwards, she felt reenergized, and much more at peace than she had been in a long time.
[/quote]

I think it's re-energized.

[quote]
“You know, I think we’re going to have to open a door sooner or later,” Imoen said.

“I guess so.” Tansy made no move towards the handle. They all stared at the wood door. It looked quite ordinary; solid and a little splintery.

“Well, go on and open it,” Jaheira said finally.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.
[/quote]

:P See, this is how I would approach doors in that environment. Nicely realistic, and funny to boot!

[quote]
“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.

The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.[/quote]

Ooh, cliffhanger endings are always nice. So what's behind door No. 1? Tune it tomorrow! :P

I like short chapters! Nicely done,

Rose of Jericho

#10 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 03:18 PM

Dunno... watching the grass grow is pretty entertaining :lol:


It is in my yard...Seems like you blink and it's up to your knees.

Hehe... if he calls Jae 'Pretty Druid Lady', I wonder how does he call Tansy then? Surely she's a pretty druid lady too?


She's just "Little Tansy." When she first met Minsc, she was practically still a kid.

Nice insight into the mind of a druid ;)


Thanks.

Eh? There's supposed to be a library in there, is it not? Wonder what Tansy saw... :P


Lol! I think you're thinking of the wrong door. You'll see what's in there soon.

#11 Weyoun

Posted 31 July 2003 - 10:33 PM

“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.


I don't know how you do it, but you've managed to portray the first annoying dungeon in a story in such a way that it's an exiting read again! Well done.

After a short (very short) discussion, it was decided that the twisting passageway offered the best chance of escape. Though no one said as much, it was plain that everyone was a little afraid to see what horrors lay beyond the closed doors.


The corridor turned out to hide another closed door, and a second goblin ambush. Coming to the end of the hall, the four were confronted by a door.


“You know, I think we’re going to have to open a door sooner or later,” Imoen said.


LOL! Good point. Three days of geological survays of the door and surroundings would not be a good idea. :)

“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.


:)

The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.


Arrggh, cliffhanger! :)

Great stuff,
---Weyoun
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#12 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 01 August 2003 - 12:16 AM

:) She'll start saying "There's a hole in mother earth that needs filling" or whatever it is that Jaheria says. I like her connection with the natural world. You write a good druid.


Thanks. It's funny...I usually play a thief character, but I identify more closely with druids (I love nature).

LOL, trust Minsc to speak in capitals like that.


It does seem like him.

I think it's re-energized.


I thought so too, but my spellchecker went "Uh-uh! I'm gonna change your word. Nyah!"

:) See, this is how I would approach doors in that environment. Nicely realistic, and funny to boot!


Well, it is a little reckless to just fling doors open wantonly when you have no idea what's behind 'em.

Ooh, cliffhanger endings are always nice. So what's behind door No. 1? Tune it tomorrow! :)

I like short chapters! Nicely done,

Rose of Jericho



Thanks. I'm glad I'm not driving everybody nuts with the pacing.

#13 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 01 August 2003 - 12:20 AM

I don't know how you do it, but you've managed to portray the first annoying dungeon in a story in such a way that it's an exiting read again! Well done.


Wow, thank you!

LOL! Good point. Three days of geological survays of the door and surroundings would not be a good idea. :)


Well, they're understandably leery of unknown areas.

Arrggh, cliffhanger! :)

Great stuff,
---Weyoun


Heh. You know, I think that's the first actual cliffhanger I've ever written.

#14 Laufey

Posted 01 August 2003 - 04:52 AM

Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
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__________________


Aye...making Jonny's House of Fun interesting is a challenge indeed. But you're doing fine so far. :twisted:


“I’m not sure, Tansy replied quietly. She was uneasy. It had been a long time since she had been lost. Usually, she had merely to touch the earth and she would know where to go. Cut off this way, she felt blind and deaf, stuck blundering through the dark.


I liked the detail about touching the earth, it's a nice reminder of Tansy's druidism.


Conjuring up images of ancient forests, quiet and sleepy in the late afternoon sun, had soothed her jangling nerves. As she slipped deeper into the meditation, she imagined herself actually lying on the soft grass beneath an oak of formidable size. She felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, heard the lazy, listening silence of the forest, and smelled the scent of old wood.


And so was this. Very nice, very relaxing.


“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.


“Oh. Alright.” Taking a deep breath, she reached out and grasped the handle. It was solid and slightly chilly; a normal metal handle. Slowly, she turned it. Gradually, ready to slam it shut at any moment, she pushed the door inwards. When nothing jumped out at her, she sighed in relief and swung it all the way open.


The sight that met her eyes made her bite back a startled curse.


This would be the library, right?
Rogues do it from behind.

#15 Guest_Hunter_*

Posted 01 August 2003 - 09:03 AM

Hey again. This chapter is, if possible, even shorter than the last. I'm proud of it, however. I'm going to try to break this habit of describing every single event in its only chapter. I think it's just that I'm trying to make Chateau Irenicus slightly more interesting than watching your grass grow.
_____________________
__________________


I agrre that it is a bit boring by now.

“I guess so.” Tansy made no move towards the handle. They all stared at the wood door. It looked quite ordinary; solid and a little splintery.


“Well, go on and open it,” Jaheira said finally.


“Why do I have to do it?”


“You’re the closest,” Imoen reminded her sister.


And neither imoen or jaheira want to do it. :wink:

Hunter




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