Okay...rather short chapter three. Sorry 'bout the length, I usually just write until I feel that I've come to a good place to stop. Some chapters will be longer than others (most will be longer than this one).
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Maintaining the Balance
The room they entered next seemed to prove Imoen’s earlier supposition that the complex through which they were currently wandering was somewhere underground; it was a small, roughly circular cavern that seemed to have been formed naturally.
In the center of the cavern was a large mass of rusty reddish-brown crystal, shot through with strands of lighter red. It reminded Tansy of a large plant grown out of control. In other circumstances, it might have been pretty, but in their present predicament, it seemed warped and somehow sinister; unnatural.
Along the walls of the cavern were several small pools. Most were very shallow, but there were three which were surprisingly deep. Wandering over to look into one, Tansy saw pinwheels of color swirling in the depths. She felt herself leaning forward, being drawn downwards, and pulled back with a jerk. Her vision cleared, and she was left feeling slightly dizzy.
A slightly evil-sounding laugh echoed around the cavern.
“Ah, Tansy! You have escaped somewhat later than I had hoped. I am Aatagah, and I welcome you. I do try to keep my little corner more appealing than the rest of this place.” Aatagah was a large purple man from the waist up, but from his waistband downward, he was nothing more than smoke. A djinn? What is he doing here, of all places?
“Ah…I thank you for your welcome. Can you assist me?”
The djinn seemed to grin a little more widely; the whole of his face had a sinister look about it. “Such assistance as I can offer will depend on how you answer my question.”
Question? As if reading her thoughts, Jaheira moved up to speak quietly into her ear. “Be careful; djinn are slippery, and like to play word games.”
“Well, Tansy? Will you answer my question?”
She swallowed, licked her lips, and nodded. “I will answer your question, if I am able.”
Aatagah laughed again. “Very well then! Here is my hypothetical question: You and your sibling are put into two separate cells, with no way to communicate. The mage who has imprisoned you appears, and explains his sadistic game. In each cell, there is a button. If you press the button and your sibling does not, you will die, but your sibling will go free. If your sibling presses the button and you do not, they will die, but you will be free. If you both press the buttons, you will both die. If neither of you presses the button, you will both die. He gives you one turn of the hourglass to decide, and then leaves. So here is my question, Tansy: Will you press the button?”
Tansy swallowed again, and forced her swirling thoughts into order. Would I press the button? I…don’t know. She pictured herself in that situation. She pictured Imoen, or Jaheira, or Minsc, or any of her friends in the other cell, not knowing whether they would live, or die, alone and maybe afraid, maybe angry. And she knew. For them… “Yes. For any of those whom I hold so dear to me, I would do so.”
“Interesting. You have answered sufficiently, and my curiosity is satisfied. Now, the aid I promised to you. Here is the advice I offer: Seek out Rielev. He waits for one such as you.” With a final laugh, he disappeared.
“Well, that was…odd.”
Maintaining the Balance--Chapter the Third
Started by
Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*
, Jul 30 2003 03:11 AM
5 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_ShadowHunter_*
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Posted 30 July 2003 - 12:45 PM
oh! a chapter is never to short. a chapter's purpose is not to take up space (though i think u could have fought the ogre to make it a little longer, but it is not nessessary), it is to get a message across or further the plot. and you did just those two things. good chpter, keep on rolin'
-sh
-sh
#3
Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*
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Posted 30 July 2003 - 01:21 PM
oh! a chapter is never to short. a chapter's purpose is not to take up space (though i think u could have fought the ogre to make it a little longer, but it is not nessessary), it is to get a message across or further the plot. and you did just those two things. good chpter, keep on rolin'
-sh
Thanks!
#4
Guest_Theodur_*
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Posted 30 July 2003 - 03:52 PM
“Ah, Tansy! You have escaped somewhat later than I had hoped. I am Aatagah, and I welcome you. I do try to keep my little corner more appealing than the rest of this place.” Aatagah was a large purple man from the waist up, but from his waistband downward, he was nothing more than smoke. A djinn? What is he doing here, of all places?
“Ah…I thank you for your welcome. Can you assist me?”
The djinn seemed to grin a little more widely; the whole of his face had a sinister look about it. “Such assistance as I can offer will depend on how you answer my question.”
Question? As if reading her thoughts, Jaheira moved up to speak quietly into her ear. “Be careful; djinn are slippery, and like to play word games.”
Oh, slippery they are indeed... and that 'muahaha' maniacal laughter when they appear in front of you does not raise confidence either...
Tansy swallowed again, and forced her swirling thoughts into order. Would I press the button? I…don’t know. She pictured herself in that situation. She pictured Imoen, or Jaheira, or Minsc, or any of her friends in the other cell, not knowing whether they would live, or die, alone and maybe afraid, maybe angry. And she knew. For them… “Yes. For any of those whom I hold so dear to me, I would do so.”
Aww... she really loves her friends. I think my Theo also would have answered 'yes', but of course I started the story outside of the dungeon.
Anyways, you're moving along nicely though of course the main fun will start once you're outside of the dungeon... still some important things to do...
#5
Laufey
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Transcendant
Posted 31 July 2003 - 05:02 AM
[quote]
In the center of the cavern was a large mass of rusty reddish-brown crystal, shot through with strands of lighter red. It reminded Tansy of a large plant grown out of control. In other circumstances, it might have been pretty, but in their present predicament, it seemed warped and somehow sinister; unnatural.
Along the walls of the cavern were several small pools. Most were very shallow, but there were three which were surprisingly deep. Wandering over to look into one, Tansy saw pinwheels of color swirling in the depths. She felt herself leaning forward, being drawn downwards, and pulled back with a jerk. Her vision cleared, and she was left feeling slightly dizzy.
A slightly evil-sounding laugh echoed around the cavern.
[/quote]'
I really liked this descriptive passage. Very lifelike, and serves to draw the reader into the story.
[quote]Tansy swallowed again, and forced her swirling thoughts into order. Would I press the button? I…don’t know. She pictured herself in that situation. She pictured Imoen, or Jaheira, or Minsc, or any of her friends in the other cell, not knowing whether they would live, or die, alone and maybe afraid, maybe angry. And she knew. For them… “Yes. For any of those whom I hold so dear to me, I would do so.”
“Interesting. You have answered sufficiently, and my curiosity is satisfied. Now, the aid I promised to you. Here is the advice I offer: Seek out Rielev. He waits for one such as you.” With a final laugh, he disappeared.
“Well, that was…odd.”[/quote]
I always wondererd what exactly that djinn was playing at...maybe he was just causing trouble. Anyway, nice chapter.[/quote]
In the center of the cavern was a large mass of rusty reddish-brown crystal, shot through with strands of lighter red. It reminded Tansy of a large plant grown out of control. In other circumstances, it might have been pretty, but in their present predicament, it seemed warped and somehow sinister; unnatural.
Along the walls of the cavern were several small pools. Most were very shallow, but there were three which were surprisingly deep. Wandering over to look into one, Tansy saw pinwheels of color swirling in the depths. She felt herself leaning forward, being drawn downwards, and pulled back with a jerk. Her vision cleared, and she was left feeling slightly dizzy.
A slightly evil-sounding laugh echoed around the cavern.
[/quote]'
I really liked this descriptive passage. Very lifelike, and serves to draw the reader into the story.
[quote]Tansy swallowed again, and forced her swirling thoughts into order. Would I press the button? I…don’t know. She pictured herself in that situation. She pictured Imoen, or Jaheira, or Minsc, or any of her friends in the other cell, not knowing whether they would live, or die, alone and maybe afraid, maybe angry. And she knew. For them… “Yes. For any of those whom I hold so dear to me, I would do so.”
“Interesting. You have answered sufficiently, and my curiosity is satisfied. Now, the aid I promised to you. Here is the advice I offer: Seek out Rielev. He waits for one such as you.” With a final laugh, he disappeared.
“Well, that was…odd.”[/quote]
I always wondererd what exactly that djinn was playing at...maybe he was just causing trouble. Anyway, nice chapter.
[/quote]
Rogues do it from behind.
#6
Guest_Hunter_*
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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:23 AM
[quote name="Yunami_Silverblade"]Okay...rather short chapter three. Sorry 'bout the length, I usually just write until I feel that I've come to a good place to stop. Some chapters will be longer than others (most will be longer than this one).
No harm in that. i'm way behind in reading anyway.
Hunter
No harm in that. i'm way behind in reading anyway.
Hunter
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