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Bitter Grey Ashes p 52, The Dragon Dance


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#1 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 03:44 AM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE , beginning

12-13 of Marpenoth 1371, Year of the Unstrung Harp

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”

Omwo’s remark was loud enough to distract me from my visions. The halfling had followed me to the very edge of the plateau. I looked at him sidewise. There was a quiet fire of madness in his eyes, not unlike the spark that I spotted there when he was still under abbot Addazahr’s domination.

“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”

I nodded, making a silent gesture indicating my agreement. He continued to prattle for some time, simmering from nervous excitement and curiosity, but since I ignored him completely, he went quiet after a while. The two dragons continued to circle each other up in the dark sky, their hides sparkling with metallic luster under the pale rays of the moon. Their immense, bat-like wings floated across the outline of the silver disk like sails of great aerial ships. It was the most ominous, yet spectacular view I had ever seen, and I was not about to let Omwo spoil it with his inane chattering. A strange mood came over me. The fit of paranoid anxiety that had gripped me by the throat after I recognized Adalon’s name was replaced by almost unnatural calmness.

I was humiliated and frightened to the core by my complete helplessness before the overwhelming might of the blue wyrm. That was the reason behind my senseless bickering with Omwo, and the inane jesting in the face of sure death. Afterwards, my alter ego’s reaction to the silver dragon’s name left me empty of any emotions. I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity. After all, I went through hours of intense arcane concentration and casting just before the first dragon attack. Nonetheless, by the time I told Omwo that I would stay and watch the battle, I was cold and quiet as the snow-covered peak of Abbalayat – the tallest and most enigmatic mountain this side of the ridge.

In the mean time, the battle in the skies went on, with both opponents trying to exploit the other side’s weaknesses, while at the same time carefully covering their own. Adalon climbed higher and higher – obviously testing the limits of the elderly wyrm’s tolerance to cold and high altitude. Unfortunately her injury prevented her from taking a full advantage of this tactic. She simply could not sustain that speed and elevation, as her wound weakened her considerably.

“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”

“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”

“Look - she is leading him away from here! Do you think she would be able to lose him and escape after all? Or is this is going to be battle to the death?”

“I think the old buzzard understands his options all too well... She is the faster of the two, and I doubt he is going to be fooled by her for long. See, as I told you. He is turning back!”

“We must tell everybody that he is coming back to finish the village! We must hurry – the dragon will be back any moment now!”

“Then why don’t you run along and do this?” I asked rather mildly. “I told you I must see the end of it, and I am not going anywhere.”

“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”

“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”

“No offence meant, chief,” Omwo suddenly looked even smaller than his usual round self, and I wondered briefly if the new title he gave me was just a slip of a tongue or something more. “I only wanted to point out to you that the girl...”

“Shut up!”

“I am silent already, but you cannot be serious about this dying thing. Look! He is coming! He is almost upon us! We must run and warn the village!”

“There is no sense running away now,” I pointed tiredly. “The dragon will be here before we can make it to the first house.”

Indeed, I was right. Sharpfangs turned around and was flying back to Perch at full speed. His huge blue bulk was growing bigger with every flap of his humongous wings. Already, I could see the shape of his sagging belly, and wonder if indeed that was where my body will find its final rest. Death from the dragon was a somewhat better option than by serving Zaureen’s wicked pleasures, or from Farheed’s jambaya ... Still, I was not ready to die at all. I knew I wanted to see the end of it, and there was no question in my mind about my place in the affair – it was right here, at the very edge of the cliff. The halfling squeaked like a mouse, and threw himself to the ground, covering his face with both hands. To give him his due, he did not try to run away, although it would not have done him any good.

A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke. When I was able to see again the dragon was gone. I jumped to my feet, rushing to my viewing position, and was there just in time to catch the last glimpse of Iryklagathra’s blue bulk disappearing inside the silver dragon’s lair. In a flash of a second the silver dart of Adalon’s streamlined body rushed above our heads. She screamed terribly, and followed the blue dragon inside the dark mouth of her cave. Then everything went quiet again.

“Now, can someone please tell me what all of this was about?” Omwo inquired weakly rising to his knees.

I was going to answer him, but at that moment something hit me from behind, driving the breath out of my lungs, and knocking me back to the stones. Before I could react to this unexpected assault, the girl rolled me over and pushed me down, ingenuously positioning herself on my chest, so that her legs pinned my arms to the ground, and her fingers were entwined in my hair.

“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.

“Wait, wait! Mir, what are you doing now? Are you going to finish the job yourself? We may still need him alive!” I heard Kessen’s mocking voice through the haze of pain that filled my aching skull.

“I don’t care what you think! And I don’t care if you tell the whole world! Now, have your eyeful if you dare!”

After that last heated statement her lips were pressed firmly against mine, and the universe began to shift sidewise as I felt the hot flow of her breath fill my mouth with her sweet and spicy fragrance. I have no idea how long had it lasted ... but certainly long enough for me to recover my wits, and think about the consequences. Mirriam had probably sensed my body stiffen awkwardly under hers, because she gasped and suddenly pulled away, letting go of my hair.

“Jon-Jon, I am sorry. It is just ... I was sure you were going to die this time around.”

“We need to talk,” I offered shakily, picking my disheveled self from the ground yet again, and dusting off my clothes. “Most certainly so, but this is not the time nor the place for it.”

“As you say,” All of a sudden she was meek and blushing like red flowers on the halfling matron’s shawl.

“What are you two looking at?” I snapped at the two idiots, who were grinning at us like satiated cats. At least Mirri’s brother had decency to blink and lower his eyes. Omwo continued to stare giggling like an imbecile.

“If you did not notice it yourself, we are not exactly in a position to relax,” I pointed venomously. “The dragons can be back any moment now.”

But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.

#2 Laufey

Posted 29 July 2003 - 04:54 AM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Dragon Battle! Goody! :lol:


“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


You could say that. :lol: Of course, Edwin would also have to be dragged away from there by force...


I was humiliated and frightened to the core by my complete helplessness before the overwhelming might of the blue wyrm. That was the reason behind my senseless bickering with Omwo, and the inane jesting in the face of sure death. Afterwards, my alter ego’s reaction to the silver dragon’s name left me empty of any emotions. I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity. After all, I went through hours of intense arcane concentration and casting just before the first dragon attack. Nonetheless, by the time I told Omwo that I would stay and watch the battle, I was cold and quiet as the snow-covered peak of Abbalayat – the tallest and most enigmatic mountain this side of the ridge.


I can't wait until he recalls his original encounter with Adalon...or she does. Loved the line about the snow covered peak.


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Now that you mention it, how *do* dragons cast spells at all? I mean, I can't imagine that their clawed feet are all that nimble for those finger movements, and then there is the matter of spell components. *gets mental picture of Firkraag vainly trying to extract spider legs from small leather pouch*


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”


“No offence meant, chief,” Omwo suddenly looked even smaller than his usual round self, and I wondered briefly if the new title he gave me was just a slip of a tongue or something more. “I only wanted to point out to you that the girl...”


Aw, Omwo's playing match maker! How sweet. :lol: And Jon is his normal ungrateful self of course. :lol:


A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke. When I was able to see again the dragon was gone. I jumped to my feet, rushing to my viewing position, and was there just in time to catch the last glimpse of Iryklagathra’s blue bulk disappearing inside the silver dragon’s lair. In a flash of a second the silver dart of Adalon’s streamlined body rushed above our heads. She screamed terribly, and followed the blue dragon inside the dark mouth of her cave. Then everything went quiet again.


Ouch!


I was going to answer him, but at that moment something hit me from behind, driving the breath out of my lungs, and knocking me back to the stones. Before I could react to this unexpected assault, the girl rolled me over and pushed me down, ingenuously positioning herself on my chest, so that her legs pinned my arms to the ground, and her fingers were entwined in my hair.


“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Awwww...that's very romantic. :lol: Well, you know what I mean.

“I don’t care what you think! And I don’t care if you tell the whole world! Now, have your eyeful if you dare!”


After that last heated statement her lips were pressed firmly against mine, and the universe began to shift sidewise as I felt the hot flow of her breath fill my mouth with her sweet and spicy fragrance. I have no idea how long had it lasted ... but certainly long enough for me to recover my wits, and think about the consequences. Mirriam had probably sensed my body stiffen awkwardly under hers, because she gasped and suddenly pulled away, letting go of my hair.


Mirri and Jonny, sitting in a tree... :)


“If you did not notice it yourself, we are not exactly in a position to relax,” I pointed venomously. “The dragons can be back any moment now.”


But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


And a very ominous ending indeed...
Rogues do it from behind.

#3 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 05:12 AM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Dragon Battle! Goody! :)


Yeh, I *had* to finish it - it was haunting me for too long, and now it feels strangely unfulfilling ...


“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


You could say that. :lol: Of course, Edwin would also have to be dragged away from there by force...


I bet!


I was humiliated and frightened to the core by my complete helplessness before the overwhelming might of the blue wyrm. That was the reason behind my senseless bickering with Omwo, and the inane jesting in the face of sure death. Afterwards, my alter ego’s reaction to the silver dragon’s name left me empty of any emotions. I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity. After all, I went through hours of intense arcane concentration and casting just before the first dragon attack. Nonetheless, by the time I told Omwo that I would stay and watch the battle, I was cold and quiet as the snow-covered peak of Abbalayat – the tallest and most enigmatic mountain this side of the ridge.


I can't wait until he recalls his original encounter with Adalon...or she does. Loved the line about the snow covered peak.


Ah, but you must have at least some idea about what it is going to be about ... Still, I have to finish it yet. :)


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Now that you mention it, how *do* dragons cast spells at all? I mean, I can't imagine that their clawed feet are all that nimble for those finger movements, and then there is the matter of spell components. *gets mental picture of Firkraag vainly trying to extract spider legs from small leather pouch*


I think they do it without Somatic and Material components - when in dragon form, but they need to prepare them same as us humble humans. Still, sorceres are supposedly 'dragon blood' (eek) and it meants dragon magic is 'innate'. Have to ask OG about it, and leaf through my draconomicon.


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”



“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”



“No offence meant, chief,” Omwo suddenly looked even smaller than his usual round self, and I wondered briefly if the new title he gave me was just a slip of a tongue or something more. “I only wanted to point out to you that the girl...”


Aw, Omwo's playing match maker! How sweet. :lol: And Jon is his normal ungrateful self of course. :lol:


He would be ... scoundrel. You have no idea how hard it is to write a romance for him.


A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke. When I was able to see again the dragon was gone. I jumped to my feet, rushing to my viewing position, and was there just in time to catch the last glimpse of Iryklagathra’s blue bulk disappearing inside the silver dragon’s lair. In a flash of a second the silver dart of Adalon’s streamlined body rushed above our heads. She screamed terribly, and followed the blue dragon inside the dark mouth of her cave. Then everything went quiet again.


Ouch!


:)


I was going to answer him, but at that moment something hit me from behind, driving the breath out of my lungs, and knocking me back to the stones. Before I could react to this unexpected assault, the girl rolled me over and pushed me down, ingenuously positioning herself on my chest, so that her legs pinned my arms to the ground, and her fingers were entwined in my hair.



“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Awwww...that's very romantic. :lol: Well, you know what I mean.


Heh, heh, heh... I was inspired by the recent outburst of romantic feelings in the Cards. :) But since I really cannot write proper mush for him - have to settle for a bit of rolling in the dust.


“I don’t care what you think! And I don’t care if you tell the whole world! Now, have your eyeful if you dare!”



After that last heated statement her lips were pressed firmly against mine, and the universe began to shift sidewise as I felt the hot flow of her breath fill my mouth with her sweet and spicy fragrance. I have no idea how long had it lasted ... but certainly long enough for me to recover my wits, and think about the consequences. Mirriam had probably sensed my body stiffen awkwardly under hers, because she gasped and suddenly pulled away, letting go of my hair.


Mirri and Jonny, sitting in a tree... :)


You mean 'Tree', right? :lol: I am afraid it is as afr away from it as possible yet.


“If you did not notice it yourself, we are not exactly in a position to relax,” I pointed venomously. “The dragons can be back any moment now.”



But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


And a very ominous ending indeed...


It sure is, if you think about 'why' the blue bastard went in there ...


Thanks for reading and commenting!

#4 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 06:59 AM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Uh... isn't it... painful, when a dragon is nibbling at you? :lol:

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


Mwahaha... quite uncharacteristic to open the chapter with a fabulous insult... lovely.

“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”


Yes, that would be alluring especially for a bard...

I was humiliated and frightened to the core by my complete helplessness before the overwhelming might of the blue wyrm. That was the reason behind my senseless bickering with Omwo, and the inane jesting in the face of sure death. Afterwards, my alter ego’s reaction to the silver dragon’s name left me empty of any emotions. I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity. After all, I went through hours of intense arcane concentration and casting just before the first dragon attack. Nonetheless, by the time I told Omwo that I would stay and watch the battle, I was cold and quiet as the snow-covered peak of Abbalayat – the tallest and most enigmatic mountain this side of the ridge.


Hmm, I'm not sure whether Jon should cheer for Adalon... but will she recognize him, I wonder?

“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Ah, indeed... I mentioned that I read about Shaprfangs being beaten by 'some' Shoon Emperor - and I presumed Sharpfangs to be a weakling because of that. Wow, now I read more on Shoon VII... geez, Jonny seems to be an angel in comparison to that fellow... :)

“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


Now that was blunt, but at least Jon got his point... and what a good point Omwo makes... :lol:

“I am silent already, but you cannot be serious about this dying thing. Look! He is coming! He is almost upon us! We must run and warn the village!”


“There is no sense running away now,” I pointed tiredly. “The dragon will be here before we can make it to the first house.”


Well, I am sure if you haven't got into this discussion, you would be in a reasonable safety by now...

“Now, can someone please tell me what all of this was about?” Omwo inquired weakly rising to his knees.


Perhaps that wasn't a battle at all, but some wicked mating ritual between the dragons? :lol:

“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Go, Mirri! :) That's one way to deal with a stubborn man...

After that last heated statement her lips were pressed firmly against mine, and the universe began to shift sidewise as I felt the hot flow of her breath fill my mouth with her sweet and spicy fragrance. I have no idea how long had it lasted ... but certainly long enough for me to recover my wits, and think about the consequences. Mirriam had probably sensed my body stiffen awkwardly under hers, because she gasped and suddenly pulled away, letting go of my hair.


Uh-Oh... I love to see a woman taking the initiative... I hope that Jon doesn't mind either... :lol:

“What are you two looking at?” I snapped at the two idiots, who were grinning at us like satiated cats. At least Mirri’s brother had decency to blink and lower his eyes. Omwo continued to stare giggling like an imbecile.


Oh, yes... a perfect setting for a blossoming romance with two nosy and interested commentators...

But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Hmm. :lol:

#5 Guest_Broken Phoenix_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 03:17 PM

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”

Actually, that's not fair, since he has accused Jon of being fruity more than once :)


“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”

And even without sound effects and fancy lights, it would make the story of his career :shock:


The two dragons continued to circle each other up in the dark sky, their hides sparkling with metallic luster under the pale rays of the moon. Their immense, bat-like wings floated across the outline of the silver disk like sails of great aerial ships.

Wow :)


I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity.

Well, at least he doesn't make the connection that she might enjoy tearing his guts out. Heh.


“You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”

Now that wasn't Omwo's most eloquent remark, neither his smartest...


A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke.

Ack! Incoming dragon!


“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes.

LOL!


“I don’t care what you think! And I don’t care if you tell the whole world! Now, have your eyeful if you dare!”

Yes, that's what I meant! (Everyone knows you only live twice... um... okay, there are exceptions :))


“We need to talk,” I offered shakily, picking my disheveled self from the ground yet again, and dusting off my clothes. “Most certainly so, but this is not the time nor the place for it.”

*shakes head*


But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.

Eh? The village is back then? :?
I do wonder what's keeping them... but I'm sure we'll hear. It does me make curious about the next part though :)

#6 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 04:12 PM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Uh... isn't it... painful, when a dragon is nibbling at you? ;)


Trust me it is. :)


“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


Mwahaha... quite uncharacteristic to open the chapter with a fabulous insult... lovely.


Heh. When I get into Omwish mood I am like this.


“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”


Yes, that would be alluring especially for a bard...


I bet! Funny enough - i have not seen many fights between the dragons written - mostly humanoids fighting dragons.


I was humiliated and frightened to the core by my complete helplessness before the overwhelming might of the blue wyrm. That was the reason behind my senseless bickering with Omwo, and the inane jesting in the face of sure death. Afterwards, my alter ego’s reaction to the silver dragon’s name left me empty of any emotions. I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity. After all, I went through hours of intense arcane concentration and casting just before the first dragon attack. Nonetheless, by the time I told Omwo that I would stay and watch the battle, I was cold and quiet as the snow-covered peak of Abbalayat – the tallest and most enigmatic mountain this side of the ridge.


Hmm, I'm not sure whether Jon should cheer for Adalon... but will she recognize him, I wonder?


Not yet - but she might. She is old enough to remember him the way he was before.


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Ah, indeed... I mentioned that I read about Shaprfangs being beaten by 'some' Shoon Emperor - and I presumed Sharpfangs to be a weakling because of that. Wow, now I read more on Shoon VII... geez, Jonny seems to be an angel in comparison to that fellow... :)


Actually - if you look into your materials carefully again - it was not Sharpfangs who was beaten - it was his enemy the 'good' silver dragon of old times. Sharpfangs arrived when it was too late, and the Shoon claimed the Silver's hoard. That is why I. is so antsy - he is still itching to kill any silver that would move into this cave.


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


Now that was blunt, but at least Jon got his point... and what a good point Omwo makes... :(


Gee. Omwo is scared and is not very perceptive at the moment - otherwise he would have noticed that this was exactly the worst way to go about it. :)


“I am silent already, but you cannot be serious about this dying thing. Look! He is coming! He is almost upon us! We must run and warn the village!”



“There is no sense running away now,” I pointed tiredly. “The dragon will be here before we can make it to the first house.”


Well, I am sure if you haven't got into this discussion, you would be in a reasonable safety by now...


Bah! Jon was not going to move anyway - but you are right, I was in the stubborn mood. :)


“Now, can someone please tell me what all of this was about?” Omwo inquired weakly rising to his knees.


Perhaps that wasn't a battle at all, but some wicked mating ritual between the dragons? :P


Not quite yet ... they were fighting to the death. Just think what can be in this cave that Adalon would want to protect at any cost?


“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Go, Mirri! :) That's one way to deal with a stubborn man...


:)


After that last heated statement her lips were pressed firmly against mine, and the universe began to shift sidewise as I felt the hot flow of her breath fill my mouth with her sweet and spicy fragrance. I have no idea how long had it lasted ... but certainly long enough for me to recover my wits, and think about the consequences. Mirriam had probably sensed my body stiffen awkwardly under hers, because she gasped and suddenly pulled away, letting go of my hair.


Uh-Oh... I love to see a woman taking the initiative... I hope that Jon doesn't mind either... :P


Oh, he minds! That is the problem ...


“What are you two looking at?” I snapped at the two idiots, who were grinning at us like satiated cats. At least Mirri’s brother had decency to blink and lower his eyes. Omwo continued to stare giggling like an imbecile.


Oh, yes... a perfect setting for a blossoming romance with two nosy and interested commentators...


Sigh, if only it was that easy. But stay tuned.


But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Hmm. :shock:


It is - is not it? Hopefully I will be able to clarify it a bit.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

#7 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 04:20 PM

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”

Actually, that's not fair, since he has accused Jon of being fruity more than once :(


Ah, he is not being reasonable. :P And he cannot help himself - it always boils down to the food stuff. :P

“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”

And even without sound effects and fancy lights, it would make the story of his career :shock:


It would!

The two dragons continued to circle each other up in the dark sky, their hides sparkling with metallic luster under the pale rays of the moon. Their immense, bat-like wings floated across the outline of the silver disk like sails of great aerial ships.

Wow :)


I loved imagining this... sigh

I was sure “Joneleth” had met her before, and wondered whether his persona was going to surface again and trigger more of my old memories. It should have made me at least nervous, but either I wasted all my fear during the course of the fight or I was simply too tired of all this excitement, but I felt nothing except a mild curiosity.

Well, at least he doesn't make the connection that she might enjoy tearing his guts out. Heh.


Not yet. But I think Addie is old enough to remember him in his better days - if you recall the Bodhi in Suldanesselar part - in my story it was Kiaransalee who pointed it out to Bodhi there is a young silver wondering in the Underdark. Which is not very likely - since silvers like mountains, but what the heck - Bio put her there.

“You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”

Now that wasn't Omwo's most eloquent remark, neither his smartest...


I know - but he is not exactly a paragon of 'poetic' ways and good taste ( smirk and neither am I)

A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke.

Ack! Incoming dragon!


Shoo!

“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes.

LOL!


;)

“I don’t care what you think! And I don’t care if you tell the whole world! Now, have your eyeful if you dare!”

Yes, that's what I meant! (Everyone knows you only live twice... um... okay, there are exceptions :))


Thank you for this one - you are right, it is better this way!

“We need to talk,” I offered shakily, picking my disheveled self from the ground yet again, and dusting off my clothes. “Most certainly so, but this is not the time nor the place for it.”

*shakes head*


lol

But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.

Eh? The village is back then? :)
I do wonder what's keeping them... but I'm sure we'll hear. It does me make curious about the next part though :)



Soon. I promise. I need to relax after writing all these anguished LR banters and write more Ashes.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

#8 Weyoun

Posted 29 July 2003 - 07:15 PM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Gotta love those restless dragons, ey? :shock:

Speaking of restless dragons, I should have Another Haerry and Keldorn dialog ready a little later.

In the mean time, the battle in the skies went on, with both opponents trying to exploit the other side’s weaknesses, while at the same time carefully covering their own. Adalon climbed higher and higher – obviously testing the limits of the elderly wyrm’s tolerance to cold and high altitude. Unfortunately her injury prevented her from taking a full advantage of this tactic. She simply could not sustain that speed and elevation, as her wound weakened her considerably.


WOW! Now this is one impressive dragonbattle. ;)

“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Maybe it's a matter of pride. Something like 'I only need teeth and claw to kill this moron'. :(

“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


LOL! Omwo has a simple way of looking at things. :P

Laska : Ahum, well, Jon, there is still time. There's a good 20 minutes before the dragons will stop fighting. :)

A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke. When I was able to see again the dragon was gone. I jumped to my feet, rushing to my viewing position, and was there just in time to catch the last glimpse of Iryklagathra’s blue bulk disappearing inside the silver dragon’s lair. In a flash of a second the silver dart of Adalon’s streamlined body rushed above our heads. She screamed terribly, and followed the blue dragon inside the dark mouth of her cave. Then everything went quiet again.


wow!

“If you did not notice it yourself, we are not exactly in a position to relax,” I pointed venomously. “The dragons can be back any moment now.”


But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Laska : See? All the time in the world! :)

Great stuff,
---Weyoun
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#9 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 08:24 PM

Finally I wrote more into Ashes - the dragons started to actively nibble at me asking attention. As always - any input, spelling, typos, etc. would be greatly appreciated!


Gotta love those restless dragons, ey? :(


Who said I don't? :shock: But they are feisty I tell you.

Speaking of restless dragons, I should have Another Haerry and Keldorn dialog ready a little later.


Good!! Send them in. By the way - can I ask you to be a bit 'harsher' (especially in Keldorn one? By Erevan's shiny picklocks - I have no idea how to write him - I always hated his guts, but I feel he will be very sceptical and resentful (especially if Jon-Jon has been promised a soul) And please check my 2 dialogs in that other place - the redemption ones - they may give you ideas about Keldy.


In the mean time, the battle in the skies went on, with both opponents trying to exploit the other side’s weaknesses, while at the same time carefully covering their own. Adalon climbed higher and higher – obviously testing the limits of the elderly wyrm’s tolerance to cold and high altitude. Unfortunately her injury prevented her from taking a full advantage of this tactic. She simply could not sustain that speed and elevation, as her wound weakened her considerably.


WOW! Now this is one impressive dragonbattle. :P


;)


“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”



“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Maybe it's a matter of pride. Something like 'I only need teeth and claw to kill this moron'. :)


Actually - you hit the bullseye here, that is what I think they are thinking. gulp. yeah, like I would know what the dragons think ... but at least the female one does.


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


LOL! Omwo has a simple way of looking at things. :)


I would say - straightforward and right to the point. He is very 'epicurean' by nature.

Laska : Ahum, well, Jon, there is still time. There's a good 20 minutes before the dragons will stop fighting. :)


Quick! Three moves I tell you - three moves and it is done!


A moment later Iryklagathra loomed over us like a thunderstorm, full of crackling discharge. A thick bolt of lightning sizzled in the air, striking the stone between us, throwing me flat to the ground. For a short time my body was enveloped in bright, fiery mesh of pain, my hair crackled, my clothes began to smoke. When I was able to see again the dragon was gone. I jumped to my feet, rushing to my viewing position, and was there just in time to catch the last glimpse of Iryklagathra’s blue bulk disappearing inside the silver dragon’s lair. In a flash of a second the silver dart of Adalon’s streamlined body rushed above our heads. She screamed terribly, and followed the blue dragon inside the dark mouth of her cave. Then everything went quiet again.


wow!


:P


“If you did not notice it yourself, we are not exactly in a position to relax,” I pointed venomously. “The dragons can be back any moment now.”



But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Laska : See? All the time in the world! :)


Gee Lask, I think he is a bit more retarded than you in this matter ... there are elves and then again there are elves ...

Great stuff,
---Weyoun



Thanks for reading and commenting!

#10 Arcalian

Posted 29 July 2003 - 11:24 PM

Dorotea Dorotea Dorotea figaro! Magnifico-o-o-o!

The old blue dragon has taken a page from the Drow book; he's going after her eggs!!

And Jon may yet break poor Mirri's heart.... :) It was satisfying to seem him go off on Omwo, though. :)

Story of a girl without a Name!!!!
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#11 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 29 July 2003 - 11:56 PM

The old blue dragon has taken a page from the Drow book; he's going after her eggs!!


Hmm. It has been over a year ... do you think they are still eggs? :)

And Jon may yet break poor Mirri's heart.... :( It was satisfying to seem him go off on Omwo, though. :)


Ah, that he might. He is particularly good at that.

And Omwo is much subdued at this point, but still kicking. :)

Thanks for commenting!

#12 Arcalian

Posted 30 July 2003 - 12:40 AM

Hmm. It has been over a year ... do you think they are still eggs? :)


Fool that I am, I assumed this was a new clutch entirely.
:)
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#13 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 02:20 AM


Hmm. It has been over a year ... do you think they are still eggs? :)


Fool that I am, I assumed this was a new clutch entirely.
:wink:


Ah. THe dragons are not exactly like chickens - it takes about 280 days for a silver dragon eggs to incubate. :)

#14 Guest_Broken Phoenix_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 10:47 AM

As long as the old bastard doesn't kill her young :wink:
Little silvers must be adorable-- if a tad dangerous :roll:

#15 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 03:47 PM

As long as the old bastard doesn't kill her young :x
Little silvers must be adorable-- if a tad dangerous :P


The hatchlings would be the size of a large dog, bluish-grey with very few silver streaks and spots. :)

#16 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 30 July 2003 - 10:38 PM

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


C'mon Omwo, it's not everyday you get to watch a dragon fight, after all. it would be a shame to miss it.

Omwo’s remark was loud enough to distract me from my visions. The halfling had followed me to the very edge of the plateau. I looked at him sidewise. There was a quiet fire of madness in his eyes, not unlike the spark that I spotted there when he was still under abbot Addazahr’s domination.


'that I had spotted there'.

“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”


That's the spirit :twisted: .

I nodded, making a silent gesture indicating my agreement. He continued to prattle for some time, simmering from nervous excitement and curiosity, but since I ignored him completely, he went quiet after a while. The two dragons continued to circle each other up in the dark sky, their hides sparkling with metallic luster under the pale rays of the moon. Their immense, bat-like wings floated across the outline of the silver disk like sails of great aerial ships. It was the most ominous, yet spectacular view I had ever seen, and I was not about to let Omwo spoil it with his inane chattering. A strange mood came over me. The fit of paranoid anxiety that had gripped me by the throat after I recognized Adalon’s name was replaced by almost unnatural calmness.


no comma needed after 'ignored him completely'.

'silver disc like the sails of great aerial ships'

“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Heh, so jon doesn't mind being distracted when it gives him a chance to show off his knowledge then.

“Look - she is leading him away from here! Do you think she would be able to lose him and escape after all? Or is this is going to be battle to the death?”


'she will be able to lose him', 'a battle to the death'

“I think the old buzzard understands his options all too well... She is the faster of the two, and I doubt he is going to be fooled by her for long. See, as I told you. He is turning back!”


Ooh dear.

“We must tell everybody that he is coming back to finish the village! We must hurry – the dragon will be back any moment now!”


And what exactly are they going to be able to do about it? Might as well stay and watch really.

“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


LOL! Somehow I don't think that's what Jon wants to be reminded of right now.

“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”


'you will shut your big mouth now, before I make you...'

Wow, he's scary when he gets this angry.

Indeed, I was right. Sharpfangs turned around and was flying back to Perch at full speed. His huge blue bulk was growing bigger with every flap of his humongous wings. Already, I could see the shape of his sagging belly, and wonder if indeed that was where my body will find its final rest. Death from the dragon was a somewhat better option than by serving Zaureen’s wicked pleasures, or from Farheed’s jambaya ... Still, I was not ready to die at all. I knew I wanted to see the end of it, and there was no question in my mind about my place in the affair – it was right here, at the very edge of the cliff. The halfling squeaked like a mouse, and threw himself to the ground, covering his face with both hands. To give him his due, he did not try to run away, although it would not have done him any good.


'Sharpfangs had turned around', 'and wondered if indeed that was where my body would find its final rest'

I think only someone with such a detached view of the world as Jon could just stand there and wait for the dragon - Omwo's reaction is the natural one in the circumstances.

“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Aw, sweet.

“What are you two looking at?” I snapped at the two idiots, who were grinning at us like satiated cats. At least Mirri’s brother had decency to blink and lower his eyes. Omwo continued to stare giggling like an imbecile.


'had the decency'.

Well, can't blame Omwo for enjoying himself after the way Jon snapped at him earlier.

But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


'we spent'

Hmm, weird. And I doubt there'll be many volunteers to go inside and see what's going on...

Great chapter :twisted:. I was in a bit of a hurry though, so didn't have time to look properly for grammar mistakes although i've pointed out any I happened to notice.

#17 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 02:02 AM


“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


C'mon Omwo, it's not everyday you get to watch a dragon fight, after all. it would be a shame to miss it.


That's what I think as well! :wink:


Omwo’s remark was loud enough to distract me from my visions. The halfling had followed me to the very edge of the plateau. I looked at him sidewise. There was a quiet fire of madness in his eyes, not unlike the spark that I spotted there when he was still under abbot Addazahr’s domination.


'that I had spotted there'.


thnx!


“Yet, funny enough, I can understand why you are doing this, my boy. I think I will stay here with you, if you don’t mind,” he grinned toad-like. “I doubt I will have another shot at a show like this in my lifetime.”


That's the spirit :D .


Ah, I thought he would not want to miss it after all. :P


I nodded, making a silent gesture indicating my agreement. He continued to prattle for some time, simmering from nervous excitement and curiosity, but since I ignored him completely, he went quiet after a while. The two dragons continued to circle each other up in the dark sky, their hides sparkling with metallic luster under the pale rays of the moon. Their immense, bat-like wings floated across the outline of the silver disk like sails of great aerial ships. It was the most ominous, yet spectacular view I had ever seen, and I was not about to let Omwo spoil it with his inane chattering. A strange mood came over me. The fit of paranoid anxiety that had gripped me by the throat after I recognized Adalon’s name was replaced by almost unnatural calmness.


no comma needed after 'ignored him completely'.


'silver disc like the sails of great aerial ships'


thnx!


“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”



“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


Heh, so jon doesn't mind being distracted when it gives him a chance to show off his knowledge then.


:)


“Look - she is leading him away from here! Do you think she would be able to lose him and escape after all? Or is this is going to be battle to the death?”


'she will be able to lose him', 'a battle to the death'


fixed!


“I think the old buzzard understands his options all too well... She is the faster of the two, and I doubt he is going to be fooled by her for long. See, as I told you. He is turning back!”


Ooh dear.


Well, sorry. :(


“We must tell everybody that he is coming back to finish the village! We must hurry – the dragon will be back any moment now!”


And what exactly are they going to be able to do about it? Might as well stay and watch really.


:?


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


LOL! Somehow I don't think that's what Jon wants to be reminded of right now.


Nope. That was rather lame idea...


“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”


'you will shut your big mouth now, before I make you...'


Wow, he's scary when he gets this angry.


Ah, I did not really think about it - but yeah, he turned out 'in character' in this one. :D I hope we will see more of 'nasty' Jon soon. I believe he was getting a bit mild lately - it is time for more experiments!


Indeed, I was right. Sharpfangs turned around and was flying back to Perch at full speed. His huge blue bulk was growing bigger with every flap of his humongous wings. Already, I could see the shape of his sagging belly, and wonder if indeed that was where my body will find its final rest. Death from the dragon was a somewhat better option than by serving Zaureen’s wicked pleasures, or from Farheed’s jambaya ... Still, I was not ready to die at all. I knew I wanted to see the end of it, and there was no question in my mind about my place in the affair – it was right here, at the very edge of the cliff. The halfling squeaked like a mouse, and threw himself to the ground, covering his face with both hands. To give him his due, he did not try to run away, although it would not have done him any good.


'Sharpfangs had turned around', 'and wondered if indeed that was where my body would find its final rest'

'
'could see and wonder '- I think I need the present time here ...

I think only someone with such a detached view of the world as Jon could just stand there and wait for the dragon - Omwo's reaction is the natural one in the circumstances.


Nod. That is what I was after ...


“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Aw, sweet.


:P


“What are you two looking at?” I snapped at the two idiots, who were grinning at us like satiated cats. At least Mirri’s brother had decency to blink and lower his eyes. Omwo continued to stare giggling like an imbecile.


'had the decency'.


thnx!

Well, can't blame Omwo for enjoying himself after the way Jon snapped at him earlier.



But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


'we spent'


ah, thanks again!

Hmm, weird. And I doubt there'll be many volunteers to go inside and see what's going on...


yes, but someone has to ...

Great chapter :). I was in a bit of a hurry though, so didn't have time to look properly for grammar mistakes although i've pointed out any I happened to notice.


Thank you very much for what you found already - it is great help, as always!

#18 Guest_Rose of Jericho_*

Posted 31 July 2003 - 01:46 PM

“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


How many different ways are there to say mad? Trust a halfling to use a food reference ...

“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”


“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


This is a really great technique you're using, to let the reader know what's going on in the battle without sounding like that's the only reason it's there. It seems natural that these two spellcasters would be talking about the magic of the battle.

“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”

“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”


Oooh, don't go there, dude. Omwo's such a pig :shock:

“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Haha!!! This was funny. I laughed out loud when I realized what was happening. If she only knew him from before, she would not be manhandling like this now.

But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Oh, c'mon, what happened!!!

Short and sweet, but gripping as ever,

Rose of Jericho

#19 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 01 August 2003 - 12:03 AM


“You must be completely nuts, Jonny, if you want stay here till the end, but I always suspected you were a few raisins short of a fruitcake!”


How many different ways are there to say mad? Trust a halfling to use a food reference ...


It is funny however that calling someone 'mad' in a polite manner can be so inventive ... :)


“Why aren’t they using magic?” Omwo asked suddenly, as another distant streak of blue and white light flashed across the night sky. “I mean ... true magic, not just their breath,” he added hastily seeing my quizzically raised eyebrow. “Like what the old geezer did to hide the village, you know...”



“Ah, a good question, my curious fellow, a good question indeed. And the one to which I have no answer. Unless, of course they are following some sort of a battle codex, or a tradition unknown to me. I don’t believe they can cast any spells when flying. As to why did not she use it before ... It would be natural for the younger dragoness to avoid an open magical duel – she will be too badly outmatched. The wyrm as old as our ‘friend’ Sharpfangs... well, she cannot even dream of hurting him with her spells. As you probably know, the dragons grow more magic resistant with every decade of their lives.”


This is a really great technique you're using, to let the reader know what's going on in the battle without sounding like that's the only reason it's there. It seems natural that these two spellcasters would be talking about the magic of the battle.


Ah! Thanks. Actually - that was the point as I was afraid to spend too much time describing the glorious dragon battle, and lose thread of the plot. :) I am still not sure if this did not 'cheapen' it somehow, but since this is my first battle between 2 dragons I guess I can be forgiven. :)


“You are mad, Jonny,” Oddly enough, Omwo’s stare was a mix of irritation and genuine concern. “Or you are suicidal. Listen, you are still very young, and whatever it is that is eating at your liver – it cannot be that bad. At least it cannot be worth dying by means of being stomped over or electro-shocked by an ugly old wyrm, who does not even have any teeth. Think of the possibilities,” he continued pleadingly. “You did not even shag her yet – and she is such a fine, sweet thing with body that looks like it is made of molten caramel. I cannot see how you can...”


“If you know what is good for you, fool, you would shut your big mouth now, before I made you very, very sorry!” I hissed into his round reddened face. “And if you ever try to meddle in my affairs again, I might yet remember that disintegration spell.”


Oooh, don't go there, dude. Omwo's such a pig :)


Heh - exactly. :)


“This is for being an insensitive moron and almost killing yourself!” My head was slammed on the rock, with such a force that the bright red and purple stars floated in front of my eyes. “And this is for not talking to me for a week, and pretending that nothing ever happened!” Another slam left me almost unconscious, and totally at her mercy.


Haha!!! This was funny. I laughed out loud when I realized what was happening. If she only knew him from before, she would not be manhandling like this now.


She would not have fallen in love ... but that's another story. I actually find it quite disheartening that a pretty face and bit of mystery can mean so much to a girl ... well, let's see what will happens next.


But they were not. We have spent the whole of the next day and the following night in the caves below, with Olphara’s scouts periodically bringing reports of the developments above the ground. The Gaping Cave remained mute and lifeless as a grave.


Oh, c'mon, what happened!!!


A lot of different things. :)

Short and sweet, but gripping as ever,


Thanks for reading and commenting! And I will try to answer all the questions soon. :D




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