Cid and Company: Part One: Trouble in the Promenade

Warning- contains some matierial that may be offensive to some people



Hello again everyone. i finished the first partin my story, and it was longer than i expected it to be. its not as long as the intro, but who cares. Ok, here it is...

Part One: Trouble in the Promenade

Cid returned to the group a moment later, laying down in his spot and looking at his companions. Jaheira was rolled on her side, and had her arm draped on Minsc. Cid cringed, but knew he had to overcome his jealousy. He looked over at Yoshimo, arm around Imoen, cuddling each other close. They had revealed they had been seeing each other for quite some time, sneaking nights and kisses behind the party’s back. And then there was Viconia. She was undeniably the most beautiful of the group, and she was caring and always nice. But yet she hadn’t found a lover. They were all her friends, yes, but no one cared about her in that loving sense. Cid knew he had feelings for her, yet he couldn’t yet pull himself away from Jahiera. And he also knew that Viconia had feelings for him.



The party slowly woke up at dusk. Still sore from the battle, they walked around the room, stretching out their bones. Just as they started to don their armor and weapons, three werewolves came charging through the door, knocking it down and plowing over Imoen.

The others were ready. They quickly drew their weapons, and started at the nearest beast. They surrounded it, and slashed and stabbed it while dodging its claws. But Yoshimo had not been with them. He jumped over to a werewolf on his own, trying desperately to get to Imoen. He jabbed out and thrust his katana into its eye, and jammed it into the beast’s brain, killing it instantly. It fell dead, but the last one jumped at Yoshimo almost immediately. It knocked him, too, over, but before it could rake its claws across the thief’s face, Cid charged into it, knocking the beast off Yoshimo. Cid got up quickly, and the werewolf, having rolled into the far wall, hopped up and charged at Cid.

Cid dropped to one knee and dug one of his swords into the charging beast’s stomach, then dug the second into its back. The second one found its mark, and the beast fell to the floor dead, a sword in its heart. Cid drew his blades out, and wiped them clean on the creature. Then he joined the others, looking over Imoen.

She had been hurt badly. Two of her ribs were broken from the trampling, and cuts from the razor-sharp claws bled relentlessly. But they slowly started to clear up, and the bones began to heal, thanks to Viconia’s cleric powers. They helped Imoen up, and although it hurt her to walk too fast, she was much better. Cid smiled at Viconia, thankful, and she smiled tenfold back, with a hint of a blush. Cid put Imoen’s arm around his shoulder and Yoshimo did the same on her other side, and they helped her out onto the street.

They all knew that it was a bad time to be out. They shouldn’t even have stayed to sleep in this place, but they needed their rest. They had been careless, and it had cost them. But right now they had to get out of the city. They were hurt and beaten, and needed the money they would get from the merchant that paid them to come here. They had to upgrade and fix up their weapons, and rest to fully heal.

But they met no opposition on their way out of the district and down the short trail to Waukeen’s Promenade. Cid quickly found the Den of Seven Vales. They were to meet the merchant inside, and tell him of the happenings in The Docks. The fat merchant was sitting in a corner, an idle drink sitting on the table in front of him.

“I’ll go,” said Cid to the party. “You stay here and gimme some backup.” The group nodded, knowing as Cid did that merchants didn’t like to give away money, and might have some of his people backing him up. Cid walked across the room, keeping his eyes on the man.

“What’s new?” the merchant asked earnestly, wanting to get the information and get out of this cheap bar as soon as possible. Cid tilted his head, and the merchant sighed. “Here, the rest of the money. Now tell me, are my trading routes in danger?”

Cid took the bag, dumped it out on the table, and looked at the coins. They looked like gold, but one was flaking. Cid pulled the flake up, revealing a copper coin. The merchant tried to get up, but Yoshimo had whipped out a dagger, and as pointing it at his neck. The merchant wisely sat down. The bounty hunter pulled up a chair, and Jahiera took her place behind the fat man, spear ready.

The merchant sighed, and pulled out another sack, and tossed it across. Cid opened this one, and again dumped it out on the table. These were real gold. He counted the coins, and shuffled them back into the bag. “Ok fatty, your trade is ruined. The Docks will fall to the werewolves, and soon the other districts, if Amn doesn’t do anything, which it looks like they’re headin for. Nice doin business with ya.” With that Cid got up, and Jahiera and Yoshimo dissipated back to the table were Imoen, Minsc, and Viconia were already sitting, followed by Cid, who casually pulled up a chair, and threw the purple gold bag on the table.

“Our earnings, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. Imoen opened the bag and dumped out the fifty gold pieces. She smiled, and put them back in the bag. Jahiera moved behind Minsc, and started to massage his large shoulders. He let out a pleasurable groan, and took Boo out.

Cid watched as the fat merchant left, passing by a table of men with hoods thrown up. He seemed to pause, then kept walking. One of the hooded figures turned to the party’s table, and looked them over, before going back to his game of cards. Cid hadn’t missed any of it. He turned back to his group of friends, and said, “Guys, I think we got a fight goin down here in about a minute.”

The others turned and regarded him, then Jahiera said, “Oh, come on Cid. Relax a bit. We’re out of the Docks, there is no need to worry.” She gave him one last look, then went back to massaging Minsc’s shoulders. The others also went back to their discussion. But Cid couldn’t take Jahiera’s advice. There was something wrong with the picture. He turned back to the table of hooded men, and saw one loosen his short sword. The others took no notice, and one threw down his cards, and left out the door.

Maybe Jahiera was right…she had always seemed to be. Cid relaxed, thinking that he was safe. He hadn’t told the group, or even Yoshimo, about his meeting with Renel Bloodscalp, and he had planned to do it tonight. He didn’t want to ruin a good mood. Cid looked back to the barkeep, and ordered a round for the table. The drinks came up almost immediately, and although Cid didn’t feel like drinking, and other started to drain the mugs.

Cid laid his head on the back of his chair, and dazed into a nice fantasy world, with a beautiful woman by his side, sitting on a hill and making love. He felt her unbutton his shirt, and her warm, soft hands role down his chest. He felt her lean in, and kiss him passionately on his lips, then his neck and chest. It felt so real. Too real. He jumped up, his shirt unbuttoned and Viconia shirt-less kissing him, her breasts covered by what little cloth she had left on her chest. He looked around the table, where Imoen and Yoshimo were undressing on the table, rolling and kissing each other. Jahiera was in Minsc’s arms, and both were almost naked.

He pulled away from Viconia, who fell to the floor. She started to mumble something, but it was inaudible, and Cid ignored her. His eyes were on the slowly rising band of hoodlums, unsheathing their swords, and reading their bow. “Damn,” Cid whispered as he drew his swords. He truly didn’t want a fight, for he planned to go back to the Docks in a couple of days, and needed his rest, and the fact that he was outnumbered five-to-one didn’t spark his fighting sprit. He heard a click from his back, were the barkeep sat. Make that six-to-one.




as always, comments and crits are welcome...

I've read both of your stories, and your writing is enjoyable. I have to be honest, though, many of the things in your story make me wonder if you have actually played any of the Baldur's Gate games. For instance, anyone who has played D&D, either on computer or the PnP game, would know how the magic systems work. And an adventurer would never think of 'upgrading' a weapon. You call a battle with thieves and werewolves the most difficult they had faced, when they fought a demon prince in the game.

I also have a problem with how you describe the characters. Interpretation is, of course, up to individual writers, but there are certain things that are common to almost every version because of how the characters are presented in the game.

For instance, Viconia. To be frank, she is a bitch. Writers have presented her as a likable bitch, or a hateful bitch, but still someone who can cut you apart with her tongue in two seconds flat. Everytime you refer to her as a nice person, my suspension of disbelief crashes.

And a romance between Minsc and Jaheira is, at the very least, incredibly hard to believe, considering that Minsc is not normal, at least mentally. Imoen and Yoshimo make a more understandable pair, but there is no explanation of how Yoshimo could have survived Irenicus' geas spell.

If you have not actually played the game, perhaps you could use someone more experienced as a beta reader to point things out to you. Something like a walkthrough will not give you insight into the character's personalities. If you have played the game series, you might fire it up again to refresh your memory. As I said, your writing is enjoyable, but every time that I hit one of those points that don't match, it is like hitting a pothole while driving.

Cid laid his head on the back of his chair, and dazed into a nice fantasy world, with a beautiful woman by his side, sitting on a hill and making love. He felt her unbutton his shirt, and her warm, soft hands role down his chest. He felt her lean in, and kiss him passionately on his lips, then his neck and chest. It felt so real. Too real. He jumped up, his shirt unbuttoned and Viconia shirt-less kissing him, her breasts covered by what little cloth she had left on her chest. He looked around the table, where Imoen and Yoshimo were undressing on the table, rolling and kissing each other. Jahiera was in Minsc’s arms, and both were almost naked.

Plesant awakening

as always, comments and crits are welcome...

Strange story

Hunter