Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 1.4.

Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 1.4.

On a night when
Every line is a curse,
I thought I'd save you,
I keep making it worse.

I would give everything I own
For the love it takes.

I won't leave you,
All you have is that spell,
Cast it will you.
Make me glad, make me well.

I would give everything I own
For what it takes.
I will try and leave it all behind and go
For what it takes to let it show...

Lyrics from song "The Love It Takes" by Embrace

 

The plan – heading straight back to the Mithrest Inn is ruined as we run into Gaelan Bayle. He insists that we follow him to his house and then he explains the parts of the proposition. Basically, Shadow Thieves are willing to help me for a hefty amount of gold coin. As Gaelan tells me the exact sum that will be necessary, all I can do is burst into hysterical laughter… since I have no alternatives, I have to accept his proposition. Though I fear that Imoen will die from old age, before I can gather the necessary amount of gold.

On the road back, Nalia surprises me by revealing that she has some basic knowledge in magic and is capable of picking an odd lock - that makes even Yoshimo to raise an eyebrow. I feel that my respect for the young noble has risen substantially, though of course I don’t tell her that.

 

We are back in the Mithrest Inn and before I head upstairs, I ask my companions about their plans for the evening.

“Darkness holds many opportunities for the courageous,” Yoshimo murmurs.

I probably shouldn’t have asked… I muse. Nalia is going to check the other nearby taverns and Adventurer’s Mart, hoping to find some mercenary group that is not suffering from internal troubles… I don’t blame her. With that in mind I head upstairs to check on Jaheira.

I enter her room… there she lies on her back, staring at the ceiling… STARING? Indeed, her eyes are open… she has awoken, I can see her breasts rising as she breathes heavily. Carefully I move closer to her bed and look in her eyes… Her eyes… so empty… her customary snooty gaze… gone. She does not react to my presence in the room and remains still all the time. I look at the untouched plate of food on the chair. She’s going to die… she wants to die… suddenly a wave of desperation overcomes me as I collapse on my knees… I place my head on the side of the bed and reach out my hand to touch her. Her skin is pale and dry, I notice as I hold her hand and weep in the bedsheet…

 

I wake up as I hear a quiet crack behind me… I realize that I must have fallen asleep in her room. I feel the door behind me opening, someone is standing there in the darkness. The room is sinking in the twilight, but I can distinguish Nalia’s figure, she finally notices me beside the bed and barely contains a scream.

“Nalia? What are you doing here?” I don’t recognize my own voice, it sounds so hoarse. I realize that I have been crying and quickly wipe my face with the bedsheet before Nalia has noticed it.

“I… I apologize. I was just… I was just curious. I wanted to see how she looks like… I am sorry for the intervention, I am leaving,” she sounds slightly distraught.

“No, wait… I… come in…”

She slowly advances towards the bed and runs her gaze over Jaheira’s face. “She is beautiful,” Nalia whispers, “even if I can tell that she is… What IS wrong with her, Theodur?”

“I do not know exactly… I only hope that her iron will is going to pull her through…”

“I will pray for her,” Nalia’s voice is trembling “even if my motives for that are partly selfish…”

“I thank you, Nalia,” I am touched by her words “you know… how ironic it all is… she of all people – lying here, in such a state…”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know her… she is a very headstrong and determined person. Ever since I’ve known her, I have never seen her showing a sign of weakness… I have seen her tend to most horrifying of injuries without an emotion showing on her face… I have seen her being badly injured… she always retained her composure an remained as calm as ever - always concentrating on the task in front of her… to see her lying helpless is so disheartening,” I suddenly feel a lot better just from talking to Nalia, although I know that it may not be very wise from me. You just don’t talk like that about a mere companion, I realize…

“I… I would love to know her better…” I realize that Nalia is close to tears herself… I know that she is thinking of her father.

“It is… it is something that I have not heard often,” I manage a weak chuckle “you see… she is not easy to get along with… she is a no-nonsense woman and her wit and sharp tongue has won us more battles than our weapons… I am sure that she will be embarrassed that we have seen her in the moments of her weakness…”

“I… I thank you for sharing this with me,” finally the inevitable happens and she bursts into tears.

“Nalia, there is no need for that… she WILL be all right, I am sure… and then we all will head to your castle and show those goblins who’s the boss!” I try to raise her spirits as we both leave the room.

This is your battle, Jaheira… I cannot help you more than just being near you and praying for you…

 

We are standing in the hallway, as I ask Nalia whether her search for help has been fruitful, but I can read the answer in her eyes. It seems that we both need something to lift our moods, as I remember the circus…

“I think you could use some cheering up, Nalia,“ I propose “and we have a circus tent right nearby… what do you say, will you join me?”

She looks at me with a slight suspicion, but then grins and says “Sure, I’d like that!”

This circus better put up a good show, I think as we exit the tavern, I must forget all this madness, just for a couple of hours… Nothing will happen to her, she’s perfectly safe. How does it help her if I sit beside her all day, tormenting myself… she doesn’t notice my presence anyway… ah, to hell with it – who am I trying to kid… she’s lying there helpless, while I am having fun… I realize that my fists are clenched in anger, anger at myself. I am really doing a good job of self-destruction. Luckily for me, my thoughts are interrupted by a screaming Amnish soldier “Wait!” he screams, “we must close the tent, so that these creatures don’t get out!”

Looks like the show has already started, I ponder as Nalia grabs my hand in fear…