Hello Cthulhu #11

The next day, after a good night's rest in their rooms at the Mithrest inn, Nalia woke Hellocthul with a kiss to the cheek. Hellocthul had ale breath. Nalia found it kinda strange that a half elven girl would prefer ale to wine, but as it turned out, Hellocthul had first trained to be a kensai, before she discovered her sorcery, and one of her instructors were dwarven. So after she had a hard day of practice, she was often found with her dwarven weapons master, sharing a pint or two of Red Dragon Dwarven Ale.

Hellocthul decided to hit the government district first to look at the plans filed in the city archives, to see if they could get a plan for the place next to the temple of lathander in the temple district. Nalia looked at her with astonishment.

Nalia: Look at the city plans for the Building we are planning to raid? That is so thoughtful.

Hellocthul: Of course we should look at the plans first, that is the obvious thing to do. What do I look like, some half-orc Bhaalspawn with a name, a name, a common orcish name, like "Andoral" or something like that? I may have green hair, sweetie, but I was trained by professionals. My dwarven master, old Killian Bloodaxe, he was war leader of his clan and military advisor to the King of Dwarves before he retired to Candlekeep to write his histories and military tactics books.

Nalia: I've been meaning to ask you, hon, about your green hair. Why do you keep it hidden under a kerchief all the time? I love touching it and stroking it. And, urm...isn't "Andoral" an elven name?

Hellocthul: Oh yeah, it is. I can speak orcish, but I don't know any orcish names. And I have some dryad in my blood, a few generations back. That is why those dryads in Irenicuse's lair almost broke my heart. People react...urm...differently to a girl with any hint of dryad in her background. Men in particular. I don't like it much.

Nalia: Oh my, and here I thought you constantly fill my thoughts just because you were heartstoppingly beautiful. You were just bewitching me.(giggle)

Hellocthul: Nope, that was just plain old fashioned sex appeal. Now, which office is it, sweetheart?

The clerk who took their request looked at them in surprise.

Clerk: You know, I've been working here for years, and this is only the second time I remember a bunch of adventurers requesting city plans. Led by a woman too, one with bright red hair, in fact it was flaming red. She was a bard, too, with a good looking girlfriend with her, a mage I think, with a golden nose ring.

Hellocthul: So do you have such plans?

Clerk: Here is the book of all the buildings in the City with a map of the locations of all the buildings under 10,000 square feet, and a rough plan of the interior of all buildings over 10,000 square feet. Now the building you were interested is right here.

Hellocthul: Ah, I see. My friend, this is a most useful book. Might you be interested in "losing" it, for some gold, perhapse?

Clerk: Well, they don't pay us well here. I'll say about 200 should cover my traveling expenses. My wife has some family in the Umar hills. I am sure I could find work there.

Hellocthul hands over some gold and a topaz gem. Both of them knew that the gem more than covered the difference and was better for travelers, being lighter and easier to hide than gold.

Nalia: I wish we had this book last night, but the office was closed, so no one could have helped us find the right book.

The party left the building, with the new "Purchase" hidden in Nalia's backpack. Near the district exit, they saw a mob of peasants and a priest of Bashaba talking to a Knight of the Radiant Heart.

Priest: Look ye here on this foul drow! What shall we do with her?

Mob: Burn her! Burn the witch!

Sir. Bombast: Look here, my good people, what proof do you have that she is a witch?

Peasant: Well, she turned me into a newt!

Sir. Bombast: A NEWT???!!!

Peasant: Well, I got better.

Sir. Bombast: I'm afraid I must have more evidence before I can permit this burning. Now they didn't cover this in Knightly Deeds class, so how is a witch tried? Dear, dear me. What did Sir. Keldorn say?

Priest: Well, sir knight, its very simple. Now a witch burns at the stake right? What does that tell you? What else burns?

Sir. Bombast: Well, lets see. Urm, naughty men's underwear burns. So does leather clothing and silk blindfolds. Little leather whips and riding crops burn. Oh I know! Wood burns!

Priest: Exactly!!! So this means that....

Sir. Bombast: A witch is made of wood!!! Am I right???

Priest: Yes, Sir Bombast. You have it exactly. Now what happens if you throw wood into the lake?

Sir. Bombast: Urm, it floats! So a witch must also float! To the lake, to toss in our witch!

Priest: Yes, yes, but I have a test which will save time. Now then, what also floats?

Sir. Bombast: Urm, white lacey naughty men's underwear floats, and some of the leather clothing floats, but not the nice shiny black leather whips with satin thongs, or the Ostrich leather riding crop. The silk blindfolds might float, but that is all the things I can think of that float...

Hellocthul: A duck. (Behind her the party, except Minsc have all fallen down on the ground, unable to get up because they were giggling so hard. Hellocthul had an impassive face, except for a suspicious twitch in her left lip.)

Priest: Correct, most beautiful maiden. Now then this means...

Sir. Bombast: If the drow weighs the same as a duck, it is a witch!!!

Priest: Precisely!!! Now here is a duck, and quite conviently we are next to some large scales. (Athlanka is the city of coin, after all.) Let us put the drow in one arm, and this duck in the other. If they weigh the same, the drow must be a witch!!! Bring out the witch!!!

To Jaheira's and Hellocthul's surprise, the drow they bring out was Viconia.

Viconia: Shar! Save your servant from the idiotcy and congenital defectives of the surfacers!!! Let not your servant die in such an infernally STUPID fashion! Wait! I know you!!!

Hellocthul cut down Viconia from her bonds. She broke many bones among the priest's followers, and broke his jaw, several ribs and both arms. The flat of a long sword makes a most effective club. She chased all the priest's followers off, and Sir. Bombast fled as rapidly as he could.

Most of the party was still helpless from giggling. And after a while, Hellocthul couldn't help herself either.

Nalia: Did you hear that knight as you kicked him on the tush? He said you can't treat a knight this way, but obviously you could!!! Ahhahhahahahahha!!!

Viconia: Thank you for your timely rescue, abbil. I would rather endure the worst fires of the Abyss than go to my goddess in such a STUPID fashion. I would have been shamed for all eternity. I am grateful, Hellocthul, and I wish to express that gratitude. (Viconia walks over and kisses Hellocthul deeply and with intense ardor. Nalia starts to erupt.) Any time, you wish, abbil.

Hellocthul grabs Nalia's hand and draws her in front of herself, her arms wrapped around her.

Hellocthul: Urm, I already have someone special already, Viconia. But we do need a powerful cleric with us, we hunt!

Viconia: AAAHHHH....it is good to hear the call again, abbil. But once again you have rejected my offer of rewarding you and shown me kindness instead. It will be good to hunt with you again. Who is the quarry?

Hellocthul: A powerful mage named Irenicus. He stole Imoen from me. I shall take her back, and leave a stinking corpse for the maggots to feed on. What say you?

Viconia: Well, it seems you have lost your pink haired shadow, and found a blonde shadow. (Viconia leans close to both Hellocthul and Nalia) My offer of a night of intense pleasure and mutual, ahem, "exploration" includes both of you, of course. Hellocthul has shown me the boon of kindness when I have given her reason to distrust me. I would not wish to sow discord in her arrangements.

Nalia was no longer mad, however she was blushing furiously.

Nalia: DON'T YOU DARE!!!

Hellocthul grabbed her up for an intense kiss.

The rest of the party, who were snickering had grabbed themselves up and were getting ready to go.

The party moved out to the docks, to get Jaheira's new platemail fitted. Only a few dwarven master craftsman lived in the city, and by all repute, cromwell was the best. Only dwarven master armor smiths could literally reforge a high quality platemail suit to fit a different person than it was forged for. And of course without reducing its protection. Magical mail and armor was harder to alter, of course, but still within the budget of most adventuring parties. As they passed the warehouses, they were accosted by a priest in black robes.

Crazed priest: Kneel before Cyric!

Jan: Wow! That was a great kick, Viconia! He's still going...ooff..he bounced, again, again...Lass, that was a 4 bounce kick!

Viconia: I seem to feel a certain anger tword surfacer priests. And thanks to Shar's gift of the spell that allows me to Draw on Her Might, I indulged myself.

Minsc: Wow! Even Boo is impressed with little witchy's ability to kick the butt of Evil! Little witchy managed 4 bounces! Only when Minsc kicks little Evil butts can Minsc manage 4 bounces! Will little witchy teach Minsc secret of bouncing evil around like rubber ball?

Gatekeeper of the Shadow Thief's Headquarters: Ah, then, you be Hellocthul, right?

Hellocthul: That's right, who are you?

Gatekeeper: Well, you have spoken with a member of a certain organization. You are welcome inside.

Hellocthul: And if we wished to go inside, what do I do?

Gatekeeper: Simply enter, and say to the inner guards that you come "In Baelyn's Name"

Hellocthul: I simply say I come "In Baelyn's Name"?

Gatekeeper: That is it, my friend.

The party decides to skip out at looking at the Shadow Thief Lair until later. At Cromwell's, Hellocthul decides Viccy should be fitted for the Platemail suit, and they should pick up for Jaheira the Aegir's Hide armor. Jaheira just gained the Druid blessings that gave her immunities to poison, and elemental resistance. The Aegir's Hide will compliment that. The platemail will be ready in a couple of days.

As they were leaving, Hellocthul remembers something she had read in the extensive libraries of Candlekeep.

Hellocthul: Master Cromwell, can you upgrade magical armor and weapons? I seem to recall certain few of the Dwarven Masters could do that...

Cromwell: Well, my pretty elven lassie, I lack the magic necessary to upgrade magical items. However, my new assistant in the forge is capable in such matters. Oh Riff, here are some customers.

Riff: Greetings gorgeous babe. What can I build for you? A rocket armed kangaroo? A mechanical easter bunny? Nerf assault weapons?

The assistant had a strange manner of speaking, that was hard for the party to follow. However, they were able to get a partial listing of the item upgrades "Riff" was able to do, and they left the forge. He kept asking for things that made little sense, like a "oscillation over-thruster" and a "flux capacitor", which not even Hellocthul, with her scholar's trained mind could identify.

The party heads over to the temple district. There, they encounter a blind priest. After accepting the quest from the Watcher Olsig, and promising to look into the matter of the unseeing eye after the slaver situation in Athlanka was resolved, the party enters the temple of Lathander. They ask the priests for access to the roof.

Hellocthul: Ok, the Slavers live in a home with two levels. The best way to take a building is with a simultanious assault from top down and bottom up. Minsc, Jae, and Yoshimo will wait at the entrance for my signal. Nalia, Viccy, Jan and I will walk across the roof of the temple, to the roof of the slaver building, and enter via the trapdoor on the roof. Jae, make sure you check for traps before you give me the ready signal. This is where the traps most likely will be. Use loud spells, and war cries, everyone. The noise from the upstairs will distract the downstairs enemies and vice versa.

As the upstairs group gets into position, Viccy, who was admiring her new Flail of the Ages hanging from her belt, sees something from the roof on the streets that puzzles her.

A group of monks in cowled brown robes were chanting sonoriously in step, as they were walking, holding large wooden tablets in their hands.

"Ana Dominus Requiem, Filios Dominus Requiem.(Whack!!!)"

Viconia gave a little jump as all the monks simultaniously whacked their heads in unison with the large wooden tablets they each were holding.

"Ana Dominus Requiem,..."

Viconia: Who are these drooling imbeciles, abbil? I thought I had just seen the stupidest surfacers alive, when I saw that graphic example of why siblings should not procreate together, wearing the armor of a knight, but this, this, this...How is it after thousands of years of trying we have failed to conquor the surface populated by such howling lunacy and sheer stupidity?

Nalia: Oh well, thats the novitiates of Illmather. After they are accepted, they spend about a year doing this. Interestingly enough, Viconia, failed noviciates tend to end up in the knightly orders. (Nalia had noticed Viconia had actually oggled the men in the crowds in the streets. She relaxed a bit, her jelousy under control.)

Viconia: So, that explains much.

Hellocthul: Ok, people, game time. Viccy, I want you to cast the free action spell after I cast improved haste on myself and Minsc. Minsc, cast draw on holy might, same for you Viccy. Nalia, hon, do you have a spell sequencer ready? Load up with web spells. We'll freeze them in their tracks, and Minsc and I will slice and dice. Ready? Let's Go!

As they burst through the rooftop trapdoor, Hellocthul's and Nalia's web spells froze most of the Slaver Lords in their tracks. Minsc and Hellocthul slaughtered most of them in seconds, leaving the most dangerous for last. Sion and Koshi remained alive, Koshi frozen by the webs but Sion still able to move and cast spells. Hellocthul attacked Sion with her twin blades, but they stopped as if they had hit an invisible wall a few inches from his skin. Nalia was firing plain, non-magical arrows furiously, unable to hurt Sion who was protected by stoneskins, but unable to cast spells due to the arrows coming at his face. Hellocthul casts breach, and her swords cut his head off.

Koshi merely stands there, looking impassive, while waiting for the webs to disappear. Hellocthul waves off the others, and also simply standing there, waiting with her swords.

Koshi: I assume by your prowess you are the leader, no?

Hellocthul: Yes.

Koshi: And your schools and your master? You are undoubtably a kensai, and I would guess of the elven tradition.

Hellocthul: Alianna of Evermeet was my master, and my schools are the Two Heavens, Dragon Rising, and the Hammer and the Axe. And you?

Koshi: This will be interesting, I have not fought against those schools. Mine are the Two Arcs, Sleeping Tiger, and Hummingbird in Flight. No magic?

Hellocthul casts dispell on herself.

Hellocthul: No magic. It shall be in the traditional ways, blade against blade, skill against skill. But I demand a forfeit.

Koshi: A forfeit? Of what kind?

Hellocthul: The names, location, and numbers and strength of your masters, the ones who run slavery in this city, and who nearly killed the father of my beloved.

(Nalia's heart jumps at this, this is the first time either of them had used the term, though she has been silently saying it in her heart.)

Koshi: That is acceptable. I do not associate with filthy slavers out of choice, I was bound by a "debt", and the holder of the debt lies in a pool of his own blood. My sister, I ask only one favor. My blade, celestial fury, has been too long besmirched by being wielded in the service of these scum. I ask you, if I should fall, you bear it in nobler causes. And what better cause than in the harrowing of these creatures? The ones you seek include in their number a lich, a beholder, an assassin, a mage, and a vampire. They await you in the bridge district, behind a locked door near dock 13. Here, take this. You will need it to enter. My sister, be most careful and arm yourself well. They are very powerful. Ah...the webs fade. (Koshi tosses to Nalia a small rogue stone, engraved and polished in a peculiar way.)

They both bow to each other, and attack. Nalia had seen her love battle before, but always it had been against opponents of vastly inferior skill, and Hellocthul had been magically protected. Now she saw her battle an opponent nearly her skill, and her heart was in her mouth.

Hellocthul had met very few her equal in swordsmanship or magic in her travels, her late brother Sarevok being the last. She parried and slashed with deadly concentration, waiting for that one opening, that tiny fraction of a second hesitation, or overreach, or a slight slip in his footing. As Koshi's foot slipped, her right hand sword moved faster than the eye as it sliced open his chest.

Koshi: I never had a second of doubt as to who was better. I bid you farewell, my sister in sword, and I surrender to you celestial fury. I am sorry, my blade, you deserved a better master.

Hellocthul gently closed Koshi's eyes, and removed the glowing magical sword from his dead fingers. Jaheira and the downstairs party comes up the stair case.

Jaheira: Everything under control? I see. Who was he, Hellocthul?

Hellocthul: A brother of the sword, his name was Koshi, and this is his blade. Any trouble downstairs?

Jaheira: Oh, nothing much. A tame demon, some ogres, and nishruu or two. Switching to plain steel foiled their attempts to munch on our weapons. I think we have a lot of searching to do, for documents and such, if we are to attack the "twisted rune" that the slaver mage spoke of.

Hellocthul: No, we have the information we need. Lets strip this place down, it looks to be a major assault, and we will need all the best equipment we can buy.

Nalia held her love's hand while the party searched and looted the place.