Jarran rubbed his temples and wondered whatever had possessed him to get a familiar. Imoen, on the other hand, was cheering, “You get 'em, Rosie!”
The bard watched in irritation as the two pseudodragons engaged in an aerial argument with the two imps they had encountered. Four small winged creatures were zipping through the air, chattering and hissing.
“We better!” one of the imps squealed. “You not even talk! No good for messages, you!”
Jarran heard Kay retort, At least we have a sense of loyalty to our masters. And pseudodragons can take pride in a noble bloodline, you overgrown bats!
“All right!” Jarran shouted. “That is enough! We played your silly game, now do what you promised.”
“Poo. You no fun. Okay, okay. We keeps the deal. You goes and opens the last chest, now, and we imps will save you. We gets to laugh at the nasty nasty nasty!”
“Oh, goody! Goes and opens it, big people!” The two imps streaked towards a large chest that sat alone in an antechamber. One leaned close to the lock and whispered something into it.
A cloud billowed around the chest, and a large round form appeared. As the mist cleared, they saw a beholder floating over the box. It gave a roar as the imps flew around it while chirping in an annoyingly high pitch, then it stopped. It looked at them sourly.
“Wonderful. The flying nuisances have a new game. I'll say it now, no peek-a-boo, and that is final.” The cranky voice echoed in the party's minds.
Jarran's mouth fell open. “I've never heard a beholder talk like that.”
Anomen stepped forward eagerly. “If you are the guardian of this chest, might then you be one of Helm's blessed Spectators?”
“I'm a Spectator Beholder, but I don't know about the blessed part. Before my time, you know.”
“Um, what are you talking about?” Imoen asked.
Anomen explained, “The Spectators were created by Helm to watch over items of great importance. The most powerful of them serve the Watcher personally. The Black Lord was jealous of Helm's excellent servitors, and created the beholders as a mockery of them.”
The creature yawned. “That's the way the Helmites tell it, but the Banites say that Bane created the beholders first and Helm wasn't bright enough to come up with an original idea. Me, I have no clue. I just know I have to hang around this dull place until my service expires. Hey, before you leave, can you teach the imps some new games? I mean, I can only play 'I spy' and 'peek-a-boo' so many times without getting tired of it, but not them, oh no. Rotten impish bastards.” This only set the imps into a fit of giggles.
Jarran tried not to smile himself as he asked, “What is it that you guard?”
“Can't tell you. Well, I mean I could tell you, it isn't against the rules, but I don't know. This insane drow summoned me and told me to guard this chest. I've never seen the inside of it.”
“Gee,” Imoen said, “how long have you been here? It seems awfully dreary.”
“Thanks for the concern. I have forty years left to go on a ninety-nine year contract. Nearly sixty years with no company but that drow before he was killed, his two idiot imps, and a crazy sahuagin that wanders by every so often. I hate it here. I'll never be able to eat fish again.”
Valygar said thoughtfully, “So you were ordered to guard the chest?”
“You got it, fairly tall, dark and moderately handsome.”
The ranger ignored the comment and asked, “The chest, but not what is in the chest?”
“That's right. I just guard this chest. Oh, by the way… Boo. There, I tried to scare you away from the other chests. I promised that crazy sahuagin that I would try to keep intruders away from them. I wouldn't bother, but he brings me a snack now and then. Of course it's usually fish, but beggars can't be choosy.”
Anomen had caught on to Valygar's idea. “But if you were not instructed to guard the chest's contents, then you should have no objection to us examining what is inside. After all, you must follow your orders to the letter.”
The creature seemed to consider the question. “Hmmm. Well, he screamed 'my chest', as I recall. A spear was being thrust through his own chest at the time, though, so he could have been referring to that. I assume he was talking about this chest, though. And that means I can't let you open it or do anything to it even if I'm not guarding what's inside.”
Jaheira arched an eyebrow in amusement. “But you can open it, can you not?”
“I always have wondered what is inside.” The beholder was motionless for a long moment, then it bounced downward and knocked the lid of the chest open. “I'll just turn away and ignore you, but the chest had better be in the same condition when I turn around.”
Jarran reached inside and grabbed the large shark tooth that the High Priestess had said would allow them to open the city gates. The chest's guardian turned and stared at the tooth. “So that's it? Well, that's a letdown. Oh well, at least nobody will attack me for an empty chest.”
Imoen said, “You mean you have to stay here? That's silly.”
“It sure is, but that is what Spectators do. We guard things. No matter how futile or ridiculous, we guard things.”
A thought popped into Jarran's mind, and he grinned. He pulled Anomen aside for a quick whispered consultation, then said, “Well, there is nothing more to do here. We had better be going.”
“But Jarran,” Imoen began.
“I know, Im, I know, but there isn't anything we can do. The rest of you go on, I have a question or two for our friend here.”
With some grumbling, the others went down the walkway. The Spectator gave him a curious look and said, “What questions?”
“Is it true that you would be freed if the object you are guarding is destroyed?”
“Yep, but who is going to bother to do that?”
“Me.” Before his words could sink in, Jarran kicked the chest with all his might. He and the Spectator watched the box arc through the air and fly over the railing of the platform.
The creature turned to face him and said with a sigh, “Now you've done it.” A piecing light gleamed in his massive eye.
Jarran turned to run, but at that moment the sound of the chest smashing on the rocks below reached them. The light faded from the Spectator's eye, and the creature chuckled.
“Well, well. I don't have a reason to attack you any more. Thanks for the favor, pal. And now,” it said as it drifted past, “I am really hungry. Here, impy impy impy impies!”
