> > Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard' He wondered how long he was
> going to have to wait. His legs were aching from standing so long, but he
> would not sit down in this place if he could help it. A veritable
> cesspool of corruption, by Helm! Thieves and murderers everywhere, I
> shouldn't wonder. Anomen Delryn carefully shifted his weight around,
> frowning as he felt the weight of his armor chafe at his shoulder. The
> armor was a decent one, but the padding didn't seem as good as it should
> be. Just like me. Never quite good enough. Anomen once more examined
> the dark and smoky interior of the Copper Coronet, hoping against hope
> that some more promising candidates would have entered during the past
> five seconds. Sadly, that didn't seem to be the case. There were all the
> usual drunks, passed out at their tables or rapidly working their ways
> towards doing so, snoring or singing or making drunken passes at the
> scantily dressed waitresses. Abominable. Do these people have no sense of
> propriety at all? One of the girls noticed his eyes momentarily lingering
> down her ample cleavage and gave him a cheeky grin before she turned her
> back and moved off, swaying like a ship in full storm. Anomen felt a hot
> and furious blush coloring his cheeks, and he hated himself for it.
> Indecent wench!
*snicker* It's so much fun to embarrass the Helm-boy, isn't it?
> Then there was that De'Arnise girl who was in here again, nagging
> everybody who came close to her about something or other. Probably out on
> some charity collection or something, while trying to ignore the advances
> of a particularly obnoxious elf named Salvanas, one of the regular
> customers. That elf has no idea of how to properly court a lady. I could
> teach him a thing or two, were I of a mind to do so. He probably doesn't
> even know the Language of Flowers, and I suspect he has never read a
> single line of poetry in his life.
Hmmm...that's quite a visual. Ano teaching Wormtongue...er Salvanas, that is.
> And that is exactly what he wanted. Of course he knew about my temper.
> Everybody does. Ah, how could I have been so foolish? Hot with
> indignation, he had immediately stated that he would be able to find a
> noble quest within one week, and within the most infamous den of vice and
> corruption in the city no less. Sir Cadril had replied that if that was
> so, he would eat a barrel of Old Winkin's Finest Armor Polish, without
> salt,
Sounds tasty! I'd like to watch Sir Cadril dig in
> I would handle the healing of course, as well as fighting on the
> frontlines. Perhaps one more healer might be useful, for handling lesser
> injuries. Somebody properly deferential, and eager to learn.
*shakes head* Oh yeah.
“The woman, clearly not
> impressed with the dumbfounded way he was staring at her, made an
> impatient noise and turned to one of her companions, the largest man
> Anomen had ever seen, who also had a small furry wig sitting on top of his
> bald head. No, wigs shouldn't move.
*grin* Hey, wigs move all the time when they are supposed to. That's part of the fun.
> “Of course, little Rini!” the giant boomed. “Minsc is always happy to
> help!” Before he was able to say a word in protest, Anomen found himself
> carefully picked up, lifted, and then set down again a little to the right
> of his previous position. He stood there, utterly flabbergasted and
> humiliated, opening and closing his mouth mutely as the redhead moved past
> him without a single glance back in his direction.
*howl*
> “I…I…I…” Anomen finally managed.
> “Minsc understands,” the large man said in a sympathetic voice, patting
> Anomen on the shoulder. “He remembers what it was like after first getting
> his head wound. Well, at least Boo remembers, and he has told me.” He
> lovingly patted the furry creature sitting on his head. “Boo says that the
> world is probably very dis-or-enting right now, but that you should get
> plenty of rest and it will soon feel better. Getting a hamster might also
> help, thought there is only one Boo, and Minsc will not be parted from
> him. Boo also suggests basket weaving as a calming occupation.”
ROFL! Adding insult to injury!
The redhead smiled pleasantly, and side-stepped the
> clumsy swings of her opponents. Her smile widened even further, and then
> she…disappeared. In her place stood a terrible monster, a snake woman with
> green and glittering scales all along her naked torso, with cruel yellow
> eyes and a forked and flickering tongue. She hissed, baring sharp fangs
> dripping with poison, and the two men stopped in their tracks. Having
> exchanged a look, they shrieked loudly and took off so quickly that their
> feet hardly seemed to touch the ground.
> A Yuan-Ti! Anomen thought, reaching for his mace. How is it possible?
> She did not seem evil. Well, not very. Then the scales and fangs
> disappeared, and the woman resumed her normal appearance, looking
> extremely tired. She steadied herself against the wall as the brunette and
> the barbarian with the hamster rushed over, followed at a slower pace by
> the blonde elf and the roguish looking man.
Oh my. *eyes wide* . Fortune smiles upon our meeting
> though, for I am Anomen, Warrior Priest of Helm, and a force dedicated to
> serving justice and righteousness. Should you desire to walk the path of
> virtue, my virtuous and strong arm will be lent to your protection.”
> Good, that's a good start. It shows politeness, a serious mind, and a
> willingness to be chivalrous and protective. Perhaps too many 'virtue'?
> No. You can't insert too many 'virtue', that is how true paladins talk.
> It was therefore with some surprise that he saw the redhead roll her eyes
> skyward. “Why me?” she asked.
Because we like you! (No that's the Mickey Mouse Club response, isn't it?)
Rini's meeting with Ano was pretty amusing. Loved the scene with Minsc picking Ano up and treating him like a rag doll!
j.