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#1 Guest_Rose of Jericho_*

Posted 10 December 2002 - 03:31 AM

Five thousand, two hundred and fifty-six. That's how many steps were between the dungeon of the Shattered One and the Copper Coronet in Athkatla's slums.

In her mind earlier, Jaheira had heard the constant count as each step landed on the twisted, cobbled streets, preoccupying her as she led Moren's daughter away from the destruction in Waukeen's Promenade, acquired supplies and hired an ally. And now, as they returned to the scene of her pain, Jaheira still listened obsessively to the tally of her slow, steady footsteps.

It was either that or fall into gaping abyss in the black of her heart.

"How are you?" Renai's voice and the soft staccato beat of her ragged boots on the stones disrupted the rhythm of Jaheira's reckoning, making her look up. Shadows brought by the fall of the day into evening outlined the world in darkness. She was surprised; it was so rare when her outsides so perfectly mirrored her insides.

... five six seven eight nine six-thirty one two three ... "I am fine."

"No, how are you really?" In Renai's eyes, Jaheira could see concern and pity shining like distant polestars.

My life lies in pieces on the ground like the remains of my husband and there is nothing left for me anymore. How do you think I am? Jaheira wanted to scream, but she let the count echo in her mind and through clenched teeth said, "I said I am fine! Save your concerns for those who need it!"

The girl turned away as if she had been struck. "You're ... you're right," she said. "That was a stupid question. I just wanted to ... I just ... if you need me ... ah hells." Her words trailed off into an awkward silence for which Jaheira was glad. She knew what Renai wanted to say: I just wanted to make sure you're all right, to say I'm sorry, that I'm there for you, to help you in your time of need. How many times had Jaheira made such gestures to friends who had lost loved ones? What a fool she had been, she and everyone else who stood by after a death and did nothing but talk, talk, talk. It was all empty-headed twaddle, done only out of a sense of obligation. She knew it now. Good intentions meant nothing; words, even less.

As if on cue, a boisterous voice, heavily accented with the rolling consonants and the insufferable haughtiness of Amn's noble class, floated back to her ears. "... and the wyvern attacked us!" The tin-plated knightling that Renai had picked up at the Coronet was regaling Yoshimo – another one of Renai's questionable acquisitions – with his tale. "My compatriots, overcome with fear as the first man fell to the beast's claws, forgot their training and scattered, making themselves easy prey. But I, of course, kept my wits about me."

"Of course," Yoshimo repeated. Even as disinterested as she was, Jaheira noted the sardonic tone in the bounty hunter's voice. "And then what happened?"

"I jumped on its back and impaled it through the spine with my spear." The boy examined his fingernails as he spoke, but his smugness made the casual pose into the façade that it was. "I only did what had to be done. After all, the Order would have frowned heavily had I let the novice fools be diced by the creature."

"Verily, young samurai," Yoshimo laughed and looked back at Renai to give her a sly wink. "Your heroics saved the day." Oblivious to the sarcasm laden in Yoshimo's voice, the boy laughed along with him.

Jaheira glared at Renai, who wore something between a smile and a frown on her face as she watched the two men. "These are the best you can do?"

"We need allies." Renai shrugged. "They're here. They're free. They'll do for now, right?"

"If they cost nothing, then what are they worth?"

Renai grimaced and did not reply, but she kept her pace even with Jaheira's as they entered the Promenade's columned gates. Jaheira tried to listen for the count of her footsteps again, but found she had lost her count long ago. Instead, as they crossed the great marketplace through the thin crowd of evening shoppers toward the mountain of debris that marked the Shattered One's dungeon, a litany of regrets began to echo through her mind, and she could not stop it. You promised I could die first. You promised you would never leave me. Desperately she tried to find the count and could not. We were going home, and we were going to make a baby. Moren's daughter was coming home with us and she would help care for our child as I had once cared for her. We were going to be a family. We were going to be happy. You have only thirty-six years, you're so young, so how could you leave me now?

Sorrow so deep that it threatened to break her to her knees engulfed her. She could not speak without weeping, and if she wept she would die. Instead she punched Renai on the shoulder and cried, "This is folly! Did you mean for us to dig through stone with our bare hands? That would take days! And look!" She pointed at the three human guards posted around the rubble, languidly leaning on their pikes and chatting, completely ignorant of the evil beneath their feet. "How will we get past them without attracting attention?"

A muscle in Renai's jaw twitched as she stared at the ground and bore not only Jaheira's stare but those of the men, who watched their scene uneasily. "I don't know," she said finally. "But we'll figure something out. We always do."

"And again we run into a situation without thought, without a plan. Who shall we lose this time?" She did not want to speak so harshly, but she couldn't stop. The sight of the rocks, Khalid's tomb. That is where he lies. No, that is where his body lies. He is not there, he is gone, forever, fueled in her a need to strike, blurring her thoughts and emotions.

Renai raised her obsidian eyes, and in them Jaheira saw the darkforce of her sire's blood. "Jae, just stop it, all right?" she said, her voice quivering with her effort to keep her temper in check. "I'm not your enemy."

"Incompetence is my enemy." Jaheira watched the girl's eyes narrow and knew she had pushed a button. There were few left to push before Renai would lose hold of her temper, and then ... Jaheira didn't know what, only that if she had Renai's emotions to corral, she would not have to face her own.

But the wild, seething creature Jaheira had led off the rocks earlier in the day was not here now. Instead of striking back at her, Renai took a deep breath and curtly said, "So stop being incompetent. We have work to do, and you're keeping us from it." She turned her back and stalked away, her hands clenched so tightly her knuckles were white.

"I was under the impression they were friends," the boy said sotto voce as Renai passed.

"As did I," Yoshimo answered. "But I have been known to be wrong once or twice." He and the boy exchanged uneasy glances before he went after Renai. When the boy looked at Jaheira, she gave him such a glare that he blanched.

"Have you something to say, Helmite?" Jaheira eyed him from top to toe, then curled her lip. Several times the boy opened his mouth as if he was trying to speak, but always he closed it without making a sound. "I thought not," she sneered. Tossing her head, she passed him to continue her discussion with Renai, who was standing near the debris gesturing wildly into Yoshimo's face.

" ... last thing I will do is give her any more grief! She's earned the right to dump all over me if she wants. I'll let her!" Renai was saying.

"I only said there is a time and place for all things," Yoshimo replied. "I know that I do not know her as you do, but I know she is being unreasonable, and such actions can mean danger. If she cannot-"

Jaheira cleared her throat and watched the bounty hunter's shoulders sag. "You could have warned me," she heard him mutter to Renai.

"I didn't see her either," Renai said softly, then ducked around him to face Jaheira. "We might have a plan. Yoshimo and me, we were talking-"

" I know what you were talking about," Jaheira said coldly.

"Yeah." Renai's face flushed – from embarrassment, from anger, Jaheira did not know which. "That sewer that we came through to get out? We were thinking we might get access to it from the other sewers."

"Sewers?" The boy's voice so close to her ear it made Jaheira almost jump. She would not have thought he could creep in that armor. In his blue eyes she saw puzzlement and a touch of a disdain. "What mean you, sewers? And what is this place?" He gestured at the debris, attracting the notice of the guards on the rocks. They ceased their idle chatter and stood at attention, watching them warily.

Renai caught the gaze of one guard and glared at him, making him shift his feet and look away. To the boy, she said, "There was a door there that led to a dungeon. My friends and I, we were captured by a ... we were captured and ... ah ..." She swallowed hard and looked down as if ashamed. "We were held by a madman. We left someone behind. I mean to bring him out."

The boy shook his head. "My lady, I find that a difficult tale to believe. If a dungeon were below the Promenade, it would surely be known to the Order." He gave Renai a patronizing look. "There is no need to exaggerate to gain my assistance. I am already in your service."

Jaheira's hand itched to slap the boy until he gained a sensible thought. But I doubt I have the time or strength for that miracle to occur. Instead, she caught Renai's eye and growled, "I told you so."

Some of the rage Jaheira had provoked returned to Renai's face, only now it was directed at the boy. "It's not so much that you don't believe me that irks me as it is that you'd call me a liar to my face," she said. Shouldering her shoddy longbow, she took a step back. "Come with us, or don't. I certainly won't expect to hold you just on your word, wonder boy."

After a pause, the boy brought up his chin and looked down at Renai. "My name, my lady," he said with a dark dignity, "is Anomen."

"Enough," Jaheira said. The slow shift of the emerging stars as they followed their circular path through the night sky aggravated her already raw-nerves. "We waste time with such talk. We go, or we do not. But we must decide."

To Yoshimo, Renai said, "This is your city. Take us where we need to go."

The bounty hunter sketched a small bow before Renai, the ghost of a satisfied smile upon his lips. He led them away from the rocks, and although Jaheira followed, she lagged behind the group. A thousand suspicions and criticisms of both men echoed through her mind, drowning the yawning feeling of dread welling up in her breast. Yoshimo led them to the shadows in a remote corner, then knelt to pry the cover from a grate imbedded in the pavement. Foul, fetid air rushed from the hole as he lifted the grate, making them all step back and grimace before they slowly descended the steps that led into the blackness.

Jaheira froze at the top of the steps. Below was death and despair, madness and murder. Her breath left her and her heart pounded in her ears so loudly she could not hear herself ordering her limbs to move, to stop being a child and deal with the situation. She did not want to return, and there was nothing in the world could make her face it again. She had lived through this already, hadn't she? Why must she go through it again? He is still here, we must see him again! I cannot! Let the fool ranger remain below. He is not worth this to me. There was shame with these thoughts, but Jaheira did not let herself care.

Just as she was about to turn away, Renai returned to the steps and looked up at her, and the concern on her face embarrassed Jaheira so much she managed to force her steps forward. The count continued as she descended into hell, passing Renai without a word to take the lead.

They followed the sewer's twists and turns until they found a small tunnel that seemed to lead in the direction of the dungeon. The passage was so small that the Jaheira and Renai had to crawl through the muck on their hands and knees, while the men were forced to crawl along on their bellies. No one spoke as they journeyed the short distance to the tunnel's opening.

Covering the opening was a rusted grate, but through its bars Jaheira could see the familiar walls of the dungeon sewer. "Your plan was not foolhardy," she said to Renai, who squeezed beside her to also look. Jaheira tested the grate and found its bolts were not securely fastened to the wall. "Perhaps a prybar will remove this," she murmured. "I will return and procure one from one of the merchants. Or steal one. We have no gold. What does it matter. At least I would be away from this ...

Renai somehow managed to turn around and sit, then kicked out, catching the grate with her heel and with a squeal the rusty metal separated from the wall and flew into the water. "We don't need no prybars, Jae," she said as she slid past Jaheira into the dungeon. Swallowing hard, Jaheira followed.

Anomen slid out of the tunnel into the dungeon sewer, a grimace of distaste contorting his romance-novel handsomeness. "This is a dungeon?" he asked as he tried to brush some of the muck from his armor. Yoshimo rolled his eyes and took his place at Renai's side. "This appears to be merely a sewer," the boy continued.

"It is a sewer." Renai pointed to a stairway that lead into a door. "The dungeon's up there." Without waiting for his reply, she slogged through the shin-deep water toward the stairs. Jaheira followed, trying to shake off the odd feeling of disorientation. Even though she knew she had left the dungeon by this path, nothing seemed familiar. Every now and then, as they ascended the stairs and crept through the cold, silent rooms littered with dead bodies, a hazy memory would surface, like one made during a drunken revelry long ago. Nothing Jaheira saw connected her to the horror and desperation of flight she he had experienced.

But when they reached the threshold of the room where they had fought the mephits, everything about that room came into clear, nauseating focus. "No," she said clearly, the word cutting through some of the blackness in her mind. Her feet froze in the doorway, and she could not make them advance. To advance would mean to pass the table on which he lay, to see him in that state, to smell the rotting flesh of his desecrated corpse. "No. I ... will not."

Renai and the men turned at her words. Jaheira did not know which burned her more, the soft pity in the eyes of Renai and the bounty hunter, or the knightling's disdain. "You need not worry so, my lady," Anomen said. "You are well protected against any danger that lurks within this place." He sniffed and perhaps caught the scent of decay emanating from the room, for he made a face. "Although I was expecting more of a challenge than what you described."

Irritation flashed in Renai's eyes. "That's because we took care of everything on our way out," she said. "You're not getting any points for kills on this trip, wonder boy. But I think we left some clay golems running about. I'll be sure to point you out to them if we see them."

Anomen looked back at the throne room that contained the intricate traps, studying the stone monarch seated at the end of the room. "And the 'madman' who captured you? Would that be him, or shall we face him as we progress?"

"Do you think us fools?" Jaheira put her hand on the hilt of her scimitar to keep from pulling the gauntlets from the boy's belt and beating him to death with them. "We have shown you his dungeon, you have seen the dead left behind. What will it take for you to believe our tale? Believe me, you would not have lasted a day in the Shattered One's grip." She turned to Renai. "Now you know why no one would hire this brat of a man. He is insufferable."

"Yoshimo, will you be so kind as to explain this a little more thoroughly to him?" Renai asked through gritted teeth. As Yoshimo nodded and pulled Anomen a few steps away, Renai came to Jaheira and muttered, "You might be right. I admit it, all right? You get to hire the next one."

Jaheira nodded, though Renai's admission did not stir within her the satisfaction it would have a month gone. "Send him away. He is worthless to us."

"Can't." Renai exhaled. "If Minsc's cell is welded shut, we'll need those muscles of his to help us break him out. So c'mon, the quicker we get there, the quicker we can send him on his way."

"No. I ... I ..." Jaheira's throat burned at the idea of admitting to Moren's daughter that she could not accomplish something. It almost distracted her from her pain. "I will stay here and stand guard from here."

Renai peered into Jaheira's face, then looked over her shoulder at the room of the portal mephits. "Yeah," she agreed, making Jaheira hate herself for her cowardice. "You're right. Stay here. We'll be back soon, all right?"

At least she did not pat me. I could not stand it if she patted me as if I were a nightmare-prone child, Jaheira thought as Renai led Yoshimo and Anomen into the room and away, leaving her alone in the darkness.

For a long time, Jaheira stood in the doorway, staring at the shadows where Khalid's body lay and letting wave after wave of hurt break over her mourning heart. Hurt that Khalid was gone. Hurt that their last words had been so perfunctory, like comrades of battle rather than the lovers that they were or should have been more often. Hurt so deep that more than once, Jaheira had to fight away the feeling to run onto the colorful rug in the throne room and let the traps destroy her, not so she could be with Khalid again but just to get away from this hurt. And that admission of selfish weakness was what pained her the most.

There was no way of knowing how much time had passed, except that after a while, Jaheira got tired of feeling useless and broken, and a myriad of fears began to bubble in her mind. Renai had been gone too long just to retrieve Minsc from his cell. What if the Shattered One has returned and taken her again? What if he had been in league with the Cowled Wizards all along? What if she needs me? What if, what if, what if. The more the words rang through her head, the more the anxiety pricked at her sorrow and made going forward so much more important than standing still.

Closing her eyes, Jaheira ran as fast as she could into the room. And almost immediately she ran into the sharp edge of a table, the blow to her stomach knocking some of the wind from her lungs and making her eyes pop open. Before her on the table lay Khalid's mutilated body, its eyes open and starring at her with mute accusation. The sight pulled a wheezing scream from Jaheira's lips and made her turn around to again run away. No! The familiar voice shouting in her head stopped her. It was Moren's voice she heard so clearly, as if she were in the room with Jaheira instead of twenty years dead. My daughter. You promised to protect her, and now she is not here. Face this, or you'll be useless. And the Jaheira that I know and love is not useless. Face it. Face it now.

Fists clenched and heart breaking, Jaheira screamed as she turned and forced her eyes open to meet Khalid's dead stare. She screamed again at him, over and over as the blackness in her heart grew, expanding to take over every fiber of her being. All her words, all her hate, all her anger and emotion and self-indulgent pity she put into the cries, losing herself in its voracity and volume.

And then, as abruptly as she began them, the bad feelings were gone, leaving behind only a well of grief that she knew would be a part of her for the rest of her days.

"So," she panted at the corpse, "you are there and yet you are not." The body said nothing, and she realized that she had been expecting it to rise and speak at her, to levy blame at her for its fate. "I owe Renai an apology. I am a much greater fool that she. At least she deals with her emotions readily so that they do not hurt her later. She lives in the present. And that is a lesson that I should learn."

Tears were wetting her face, and she was surprised to find that she had not broken with their fall like she had believed. She did not wipe them away. "I wish I had learned this long ago," she said. "Had I lived in this moment instead of tomorrow, I would not regret you leaving me so soon. There was so much we were going to do, so much in the future I had planned for. If only I had spent every day with you as if it were our last together. I would have told you every day that I loved you. I would have cherished you more, and you did so deserved to be cherished, my love. But now I'll never have that, and I regret. I'll never stop regretting that, Khalid. Just as I will never forget you."

A fluttering motion in the shadow's beside Khalid's hand caught her eyes just as a faint squeak caught her ear. A rat! No, not this! I won't have him further desecrated, she thought as she raised her hand to strike at it. But just before her blow landed, she saw the small tan-and-white fluff that she had seen so often in Minsc's large hands.

"Boo!" The little rodent came into her view, climbing over Khalid's body and raising up on its hind legs to look up at her. Somehow, seeing Minsc's absurd companion gladded her heart. "How is it that you are here?" Of course, Boo did not answer her, and she laughed a little self-consciously. "I am afraid I did not pray to Miliekki today for the power to speak to animals. Especially hamsters. Especially," she sighed, "miniature giant space ones. But I wonder how you managed to find your way here. And why you are not with Minsc." Indeed, she had never seen the big, simple ranger without Boo.

He is all that Minsc has left, the only thing in the world he loves. He is empty without him, she realized. I know what he feels. No one should feel the way I do. A year ago she would have felt insult at the notion that she and a hamster could have similarities. But now she lowered her hand so that Boo could climb onto it. "Come," she told him. "Let us go to Minsc."

It did not take long for Jaheira to find her way back to the cages. They truly had destroyed everything within this evil place as they had left it, almost rendering it harmless. Even the clay golems that had chased them to the teleportation device were not to be seen. With the Shattered One's departure, it seemed everything had been silenced.

She found Renai, the bounty hunter and the boy at Minsc's cage. The door had been torn from its hinges, and Renai was kneeling before the big ranger, his face in her hands, as the men stood several paces away, watching. The boy was starring at the dried blood that covered the floor of the cage that had been Renai's, an odd, frightened look on his face.

"Minsc," Renai was saying. "C'mon, big guy. C'mon, do you see me?" From the blank look on his face, Jaheira doubted he saw anything. Looking into his eyes was like looking into a mirror. She saw in him nothing except loss, helplessness and grief.

But at her approach, he blinked slowly and looked up. "Boo," he breathed.

Renai turned at looked at Jaheira, then let her gaze fall to Jaheira's hand. "Boo! Where did you ..." she began to ask, but Boo scurried from Jaheira to Minsc's waiting hands. Large tears welled up in Minsc's eyes as he cradled Boo, cooing wordlessly at him while Renai and Jaheira watched in silence.

After a lifetime, he slowly turned his shattered gaze to Renai. "Certain?" he asked, his cracking voice breaking the word apart.

"Yes." Renai's voice quivered, too. "Yes. It's me, I'm certain. Can you come with me now, Minsc?"

"Minsc cannot go with you." His mournful voice cut Jaheira's heart apart. "There is nothing else for me. Minsc has no witch. Minsc ... I ... I failed. My Dynaheir." He could not finish and again huddled over the hamster, to protect it. To protect himself.

"You can't stay here, big guy," Renai said gently. "Come on. Will you come with us?"

"I can't, Certain."

"Minsc," Jaheira put her hand on Renai's shoulder, then put her other hand against Minsc's forehead. "Dynaheir would not want you to die in this hole. She wants you to live. Her senseless death must be avenged. Her soul cries out for justice. Please, come with us."

"Lady Jaheira, my heart cannot lift me. I am squashed under the heel of evil." Boo squeaked rapidly, darting across Minsc hand. Minsc listened, then sighed in resignation. "But Boo says for me to get off my ... Boo, I cannot say that in front of Certain. She is a lady."

Renai clasped his big hand in both of hers and helped him to his feet. After so many days of sitting motionless on the floor, Minsc's legs could not work properly, making him lean heavily on Renai's shoulder. His tears fell onto her head and down her face.

"What will Minsc do now that he does not have a dajemma?" Minsc again looked ahead into the darkness. "Without a witch, Minsc cannot take strength to fight at your little side."

Jaheira slipped under Minsc's other arm to help Renai support his weight. Across his chest, she captured Renai's gaze. "There are many things in the world to live for," she said, as much to Renai as to him. "And it is not always necessary to fight. Come. Trust in me one more time. She may be certain, but in this one thing, so am I. It is time for us to mend our hearts."




Dawn was graying the skies above Athkatla as Renai emerged from the Temple of Ilmater in Waukeen's Promenade. Morning already, she thought. So I lived another day. I don't know if that makes me happy. Not at this price. She looked back into the depths of the temple, hoping to catch another glance of Minsc. But when she did not, she turned to face the day again.

To her tired surprise, Anomen was still sitting at the foot of the temple's stairs. Across the Promenade, she saw Yoshimo haggling with a gnome over a tray of food. At her approach, Anomen stood. "How is he?" he asked. "And ... ah, the lady Jaheira?"

"Settled. The monks said they'd care for him. They said they'd let Minsc care for Boo. Or Boo care for Minsc. I'm not sure which." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. They say his heart is broken. And Jae, well. She's talking with the monks. They said to come back for her after breakfast."

Anomen did not reply, and Renai was glad for the silence. With one hand, she began rubbing an ache out of her neck while she stared into the distance. As if she's going to be better after one good conversation, even if they are Ilmatari. They know about suffering, I know, but still – she's going to hurt for a long time. And Minsc, too. I owe them both so much, more than I can ever repay.

"What may I call you?" Anomen asked suddenly.

"What?"

"I realize now, my lady, that I'm not sure of your name. All of your friends call you something different."

Renai smiled. "Minsc calls me Certain because when we met, the first thing he heard me say was, 'I'm certain,' and he thought that was my name." She rubbed again at her neck. "Jaheira calls everyone whatever she pleases. And Yoshimo ... well, I don't know why he calls me what he does. I'll have to ask about that."

"What, then, should I call you, my lady?"

"You've already called me a liar," she said lightly, just to watch the blush rampage across his cheeks. "And then you called me a weakling. You could pick one of those, or maybe you'll come up with something new."

"I spoke too quickly, my lady, and I ... apologize for my words," Anomen said without looking at her. He sounded strangled, as if he had never made an apology in his life. But in a soft voice rich with humbleness, he continued, "I did not know such a place could exist, especially under my own home. The horrors you must have endured must have been ... unspeakable."

Renai exhaled, and as her breath left her, so, too, did some of the tension around her heart. "Yeah," she replied. "Maybe I'll tell you about it someday. In any case," she shook herself and raised her chin to meet his eyes, "my name is Renai Arengil. Now c'mon." She nodded toward Yoshimo, who had procured a table near what looked to be a very busy shop. "Let's us three get to know each other over breakfast, shall we? And then we'll come back for Jaheira."




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