> Hi!
> A new Tnt is ready.
Eeeep, too many stories, not enough time...can't...keep...up!
> Forgive me if I can't get caught up with my replies today. I'm having
> trouble keeping up.
I know the feeling!
> I hope you like the story,
> Tnt 71 : Existentialism, Drow style... "What is that?"
> Keldorn asked as Laska kicked open the door and strolled inside, dragging
> behind her a large cart filled with bottles of all sizes and descriptions.
> "Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" Laska grinned.
> "Replacements!"
Oh, Gods...
> Picking up the cart with her great strength, the elf took the cart in her
> arms and carried it down the three broad steps directly behind the front
> door. Placing the cart on the ground with a thud, one of the bottles fell
> over the edge and rolled away. And it would have escaped consumption if
> Laska didn't stop it with her foot. Bending over, she grabbed the bottle.
> "Hey, hey," the elf smiled and cradled the bottle she had just
> picked up. "Trying to hide from your aunty Laska, eh? Naughty!"
Can't blame it- you're going pull its head off, suck out its insides and then drink them! Evil, evil Laska!
> "All this... are replacements?" Keldorn asked, flabbergasted as
> he mentally counted the bottles of the cart and stopped himself when he
> got to eighty, and still saw even more bottles.
Nipick: it should be 'All these... are replacements?' Sorry, that english grammar test I did the other day has rubbed off on me.
> "Yep," Laska smiled. "Cormyrian brandy, Everdusk wine,
> Streaa, Evermead, Waterdhavian Creature juice, Chult Tequila, Kara-Turan
> rice wine, Elminster's Choice Beer, Froth-ale, Upside down Froth-ale, Deep
> Froth-ale, fermented Froth-ale, Slink, Mazte, Shein, Skooma, Saurian
> Brandy, Sujamma, Mushroom beer..."
Saurian brandy? Isn't that from Star Trek? And Waterdhavian Creature juice? A drink fermented from feathers, hair, brain and scales? No thanks!
> "How much did all this cost?" Keldorn said, waving his arm about
> to indicate his astonishment.
> "Let's see... about 2600 gold with customer discount," Laska
> smile. "The guy at the liquor store even threw in this neat cart for
> free to help me carry the bottles home. I'd been meaning to refill the
> winecellar for a week now but only got around to it now."
> "All that money on liquor?" Keldorn sighed, shaking his head.
Oh come on Keldy, your party is stinking rich!
> "Well, I'm not going to drink it all at once, just one bottle at the
> time..." the tattooed elf replied with a smile. "Besides,
> technically, it was all for free!"
> "Come again?"
> "Yes, there was a group of muggers that assaulted me when I was out
> tonight... Of course, I made quick work of them, and found a big
> coin-purse on them! I wasted no time and headed right to the
> liquor-store," Laska smiled and gently patted the bottle she was
> holding.
> "You just took the purse?" Keldorn asked.
> "Yes..."
> "You don't wonder who it belonged to?"
> "No..." Laska said, a blank look crossing her features.
> "You never considered that the purse might have an owner?"
> "No..."
> "Never crossed your mind?"
> "No..."
> "You didn't care to think that this might have been the life-savings
> of an entire family?"
> "No..."
> "What were you thinking about when you held that purse?" Keldorn
> sighed.
> Laska grinned and glanced at the cart filled with bottles.
> "Booze," Laska winked.
> "Laska," Keldorn shook his head. "We should have a little
> chat about ethics soon."
LOL, lovely exchange! I side with Laska- it's not as if they could ever find the original owners even if they wanted to.
> "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Laska snorted. "So why are you here so
> late? Isn't Maria waiting for you or did she threw you out?"
> "Certainly not," Keldorn scoffed at the very notion and grew
> more than a little tense.
Tactful!
> "Ooops," Laska grimaced. "That was a bit undiplomatic of
> me."
> "I'd say so," Keldorn smiled, relaxing. "I came here to see
> if Viconia wants to talk. It's been my observation that people with doubts
> often cannot sleep. Perhaps, if I talk to her now..."
> "She'll be more in the mood to hear you out?" Laska interrupted.
> Keldorn nodded and moved to the door leading into Viconia's quarters. A
> knock on the door following, as the Drow apparently let him in.
Ye gods, imagine if the Order saw him entering a Drow's bedroom...
> Laska shook her head and started thinking of ways to get all those bottles
> safely down the stairs. She would definitely have to carry all of them
> down one by one, since the cart couldn't fit through the staircase and
> then there would still be the risk of slipping over the stone steps
> leading into the cellar. She'd rather drink her liquor from a cup or the
> bottle rather than to have to lick it from the floor.
Laska, wisdom 3
> The dilemma was solved when Laska decided to put it off until tomorrow.
> She smiled when she heard the light step of Rose, coming down the stairs
> to the second floor. Crouching behind one of the parlor-palms, she grinned
> as the half-elf stepped off the stairs. Immediately, Laska pounced and
> wrapped her arms around the waist of a giggling Rose. The half-elf turned
> around in her arms, but for she could speak a word, Laska captured her
> lover's lips. During the seemingly endless kiss, Rose returned the
> embrace, wrapping her arms around Laska's neck.
> "I haven't seen you all day," Laska smiled after finally
> breaking the kiss, still holding on to Rose.
> "Sorry," Rose smiled apologetically. "Long day of tending
> bar at the inn. And I've just put my little sister to bed. Risa insisted
> that I tell her no less than two stories."
> "Stories? What about?" Laska asked.
> "'The laughing Kobold and his dog' and 'Three little ogres'"
> "Classics," Laska said.
Yeah!
> "Say," Rose asked her lover in a sultry voice, while twirling a
> bit of Laska's long dark hair around her finger, "how about another
> game of... the brave and powerful adventurer meets the sweet, innocent and
> frail milkmaid?"
I can guess who plays what in this...
> "Ooooh," Laska returned the embrace and kissed Rose on the lips
> briefly. "Sounds good to me."
> "Good," Rose smiled. "I'll get the chainmail from the
> dresser, you get the milk and honey from the kitchen..."
> "Deal," Laska smiled in return. "Say, errr," Laska
> asked carefully, "do I get to be the adventurer this time?"
I KNEW it! ROFL
> "Come on," Rose smiled and batted Laska playfully against the
> chest, "you're ALWAYS the powerful adventurer... Give someone else a
> chance."
> ---
> "Ah, Keldorn," Viconia said, not looking up from the painting
> she was holding. "Might I ask your opinion on something?"
> "Always," Keldorn smiled, hoping she would open up to him.
> "Yes," Viconia said, picking up another painting, "which
> one of these do you think would look better over the dinner table on the
> right side of the room. 'Wailing Death Descends' or 'Rotting Flesh
> Forgotten'?"
Wailing death. Definitely.
> Grimacing at the dark and gruesome things depicted on either painting,
> Keldorn forgot his disappointment for a moment. "I... I am not sure
> those would be... well to hang over a dinner-table. I would suspect loss
> of appetites will lead to a fuller larder, though."
> "Ah, good point," Viconia said and scribbled some notes on her
> diagram of the house, which hung on the wall. "Maybe I'll hang
> 'undead man walking' there, then."
Much nicer!
> "Undead man walking," Keldorn muttered disapprovingly and sat
> down in a chair.
> "I've decided to take down all the artworks in this house and
> reorganize them. Damn Laska and her weeds!" Viconia shouted, her
> temper building up. "It ruined the entire light and furniture pattern
> in the house! I need to... I must..."
Philistine.
> "Perform pointless busy-work to avoid confronting what happened to
> you yesterday?" Keldorn finished for Viconia.
> "Must you," Viconia snarled, putting down the third painting,
> "always be so DAMNED confrontational?! Why must you always have such
> a sanctimonious and paladine attitude?!"
She is calling him confrontational???
> "Then how did you come to worship her?" Keldorn probed.
> "You mentioned that she spoke to you before."
> "Keldorn," Viconia stood up. "If you ever consider blabbing
> what I am about to tell you to anyone, I will personally feed your
> genitals to a wolf," she menaced.
> After grimacing for a moment, Keldorn composed himself and dared to ask
> further. "Tell me, then."
Bet he crossed his legs, too. Men always do if faced with mental images of certain mutilations!
> "I've told you about my... Great, Shar!" Viconia said, her ear
> piqued in the direction of Laska's bedroom, "don't those two ever
> stop?"
> "Apparently not," Keldorn said impatiently. "Please
> continue."
LOL! They don't.
> "Anyway," Viconia continued, "I have told you that, when I
> travelled the surface for the first time, I was hunted by all, could not
> find any source of food and huddled under the great open sky. It was
> all... too much for me to handle. It was so different. I had power in the
> Underdark, and none on the surface. One evening I simply... took out my
> old dagger. It was made from Adamantine and was already decaying, so I
> wanted to make my move before I lost my last change. I... put my dagger to
> my own breast and..."
> "You contemplated suicide?" Keldorn asked.
> "Do not see it as weakness, Keldorn," Viconia nodded. "See
> it as taking my fate in my own hand. To die with a shred of pride instead
> of ending at the spear of a hunter or the arrow of an elf."
The Drow way, I guess.
> "Obviously you are still alive," Keldorn said. "What
> happened next?"
> "Divine intervention," Viconia smiled. "I heard a whisper
> in the wind. No words were spoken but I could hear words in the winds
> whipping across me. A voice, strong, yet slightly benevolent offered
> power. Not much, just enough for me to survive, something I could nurture
> and something that would allow me to grow. The wind whispered a single
> word in my ear. 'SHAR'. And then I had the power. I knew nothing of Shar
> or her domain when I traveled but I slowly learned. But I've always
> thought I was simply given these powers without obligations. And I always
> wonder why. In any case, I am grateful to Shar."
I've never understood why Shar is evil, anyway. She is the goddess of night and loss, so, sure, she is dark- but evil? Doesn't seem evil to me.
> "But Tymora's sudden interest puzzles you does it not?" Keldorn
> asked. "It might be a good idea to pursue why she's interested in
> you. There is a temple to Tymora on the road between Athkatla and
> Trademeet. Perhaps, we could visit it together to find answers."
Slight nitpick here: In the last chapter, you hinted it was Tymora, but here, Keldorn is suddenly saying it outright without any apparent figuring out in-between. Maybe a brief explanation from Keldy as to why it could be Tymora?
> "STOP," Viconia shouted, but caught herself, "trying to
> convert me. I worship Shar and Shar alone! I do not know this Tymora and I
> do not want to know her."
> "But, apparently," Keldorn said, "Tymora wants to know you.
> Would that not be reason enough to at least visit her temple?"
> "Get out..." Viconia whispered silently.
> "But, Viconia," Keldorn started to say.
> "I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!" the Drow snarled.
> Keldorn nodded solemnly and silently left the room. When the paladin was
> gone, Viconia flopped into her desk chair and let her head hang backwards,
> sighing. Khittix once again came forth to comfort and received another
> petting over the head.
My bedroom spider, Lolth, has left me. I miss her, it's not fair. (sniffle)
> ---
> During breakfast today, Laska noted that Viconia had remained strangely
> silent. No complaints about Korgan's eating, nor any complaints about the
> noise coming from Laska's bedroom during the night.
> However, the tension in the air was obvious as time passed. Viconia
> silenced her fellows with a single glare. Pure murder was in her eyes as
> she regarded someone looking in her direction. Just as she wondered wether
> she should smack her Drow friend to knock some sense into her, a very
> familiar sight stepped through the door.
> "Hello, hello, hello!" Jan smiled, wearing a pair of strange
> dark glasses and a blue shirt with palm-trees on it, "the gnome is
> back, so your lives have meaning once more!"
> "Back from yer honeymoon so soon, ey?" Korgan chuckled.
> "Blimey, that be quick."
> "What?!" Jan smirked, but put his hands at his sides. "What
> are you implying?!"
> "HAR!" Korgan roared. "Ye be figurin' it out!"
Don't make him talk about your underwear!
> "Hey there, Jan," Rose smiled. "How was you
> honeymoon?"
> "Oh, great!" Jan smiled. "We went to Lantan. To the
> Thompson Skiing/health/beach resort! Oh, we had so much fun. We drank from
> a turnip with two straws in it. And after that, we went bungee-jumping at
> cliff SmashDeath. And then, we went shark-fishing! Well, actually the
> sharks went gnome-fishing... we just had to resist the temptation to bite
> into the turnip the sharks had baited their hooks with.
Danger is an aphrodisiac, eh?
> Ah, it was an
> adventurous holiday. Lava-surfing, Orc-punching, Skunk-tossing, Insult
> fingerbiting and, best of all, hurling insults at a Red Wizard! We had fun
> there. Lissa came up with an insult, comparing Reddie's parentage with
> that of a pig and a griffin.
If this was Eddie, he probably loved every minute...btw, have you met the Red Wizard in Luskan? Art Webber, his name is.
You know, I've always found it vaguely disturbing in the game when Jan calls Lissa 'Lis' for short...
> Time to dodge some fireballs there! Gotta
> love outdoor extreme sports. Even the wedding night was an extreme
> sport."
> "How so?" Rose asked.
> "They only have spike-beds at the resort," Jan smiled.
Ye gods! Now there's a side of Jan's personality I never even wanted to see!
> "Ouch," Laska said. "Elves have too soft a skin for
> that."
> "Anyway, could you gather the troops? I have a new quest for
> ya!" Jan grinned.
> "What?" Dynaheir grinned. "Thy wouldst not have us chase
> across Toril to find a golden turnip?"
Further to our email conversation, this should be 'Thou wouldst'. Mind you, considering that in the game Dynaheir uses thou and thy inchangeably, it probably doesn't matter hugely.
> "No, no, actually, I want you to explore a giant marble," Jan
> grinned.
> "Okay, he's gone nuts," Minsc said. "Boo says married life
> has gone to his head."
LOL, Minsc telling him he's gone nuts...I love it.
> "No, no, no, no, no," Jan smiled. "I'm telling you, a giant
> marble just appeared in the slums! Just ZAP it was there. Carved straight
> through buildings and is just sitting there like a big, useless soccerball
> made out of metal. Damn thing has everyone and everything in an uproar.
> Cowled wizards came and tried to break in and *POOF*, they were turned
> into pigeons. Shadow Thieves came, tried to open the door and *POOF* were
> turned into Ostriches. Now, I think you can imagine a little round vault
> like that must contain quite a bit of treasure."
> "Aye," Korgan roared. "Thar be gold in that there
> marble!"
heheheh...
> "But," Laska said, "I have no intention to spending the
> rest of my millenia of life as a crow or a duck."
Sounds superb to me.
> "You don't have to," Jan grinned. "Because I found someone
> snooping around there. Valy? Would you come in?"
> All heads turned to the door, where a tall, brooding man was standing,
> wearing a cloak that completely concealed his features. "Is," he
> said in a deep voice, "the gnome done talking? Please tell me his
> done talking."
(waves) Hi Valy!
> The party was assembled completely. Laska, Minsc, Keldorn, Viconia,
> Dynaheir, Korgan, Jan, Mazzy and Valygar were sitting at the dinner table
> discussing the situation. Valygar told them about the sphere, Lavok, his
> family and his aversion to all practitioners of magic, and his desire to
> end the life of Lavok for once and for all.
> "So," Dynaheir spoke, "thou dost not like mages much,
> then."
> "No, I do not," Valygar said, glaring holes in her skull, "
> witch ."
> "Boo says that a brother of the woods should not speak so harsh to
> nice Dynaheir," Minsc muttered.
I sense a rift here. I think Dynaheir can stand Valy, but can Minsc?
> "In any case," Valygar said, "I hear from friends that you,
> Laska and your Drow friend were responsible for the death of Tolgerias,
> the one who knew the sphere would return and would use my body to open its
> secrets."
> "How did you know what?" Laska asked.
> "I have friends among the Shadow Thieves. Don't worry, they'd rather
> see Tolgerias go as well," Valygar nodded. "Now, you can have
> everything we find inside the sphere. I just want to end Lavok's hold over
> my bloodline."
> "Finally," Mazzy smiled. "A new quest. I was beginning to
> feel a bit ignored here."
It speaks!
> "YOU!" was suddenly shouted by Viconia, at the top of her lungs.
> "YOU ARE A JOKE, VALYGAR! A JOKE! TO DENY MAGIC IS TO DENY YOURSELF,
> TO DENY THE WORLD! YOU ARE USELESS!"
> Everybody was staring at the Drow with open mouth. Next, Viconia turned to
> Laska.
> "YOU BLOODY ELF! YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH, ACT LIKE AN IDIOT AND NEVER,
> EVER THINK!" Viconia snarled. "YOU PLAY WITH ALL OUR LIVES
> GUIDED BY YOUR FOOLISH WHIMS!"
> "AND YOU!" Viconia directed her ire Minsc, "DEMENTED FOOL,
> GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS FOR ONCE IN A WHILE!"
> "KELDORN!" she added. "SANCTIMONIOUS GIT! CAN'T YOU LEAVE
> WELL ENOUGH ALONE?! DO YOU HAVE TO MEDDLE WITH EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T
> SUIT YOUR NARROW VISIONS OF GOOD AND EVIL?!"
> "DYNAHEIR!" the drow continued, but a little gentler, "stop
> feeling so damn guilty about your vampirism. That wasn't you."
> After this oasis of rest, she continued at full force. "KORGAN! YOU
> SMELL LIKE A SKUNK! TAKE A BATH AND STOP SWINGING THAT AXE AROUND
> EVERYWHERE YOU GO!"
> "OY!"
> "AND JAN!" Viconia snarled. "For the love of the gods,
> PLEASE SHUT UP ONCE IN A WHILE!"
> "Mazzy!" Viconia snarled. "You... you... MIDGET!"
> "What?!" Mazzy gasped.
> "AND YOU!" Viconia pointed at a surprised Rose walking in from
> the kitchen. "I have... nothing nasty to say about you and I HATE
> THAT!"
ROFL! I agree entirely. I hate perfect people.
> "AND I DON'T KNOW YOU!" Viconia snarled and pointed to a
> startled man at the door. "BUT I'm sure you're a JERK!"
> "I... I'm just the mail-man, madam," the startled man spoke.
> Ignoring the flabbergasted stares of her friends, Viconia slowly walked
> away, finally having fallen silent. Slowly, she lowered herself on the
> couch, where Khittix was already waiting for her. She bend forward,
> cradling her head in her hands and tossing her white hair about. "I'm
> sorry," she said, her voice trembling with emotion, "I... love
> you all."
Awwww! So sweet!
> "Even me?" the mail-man dared to ask.
> "Sod off!" Laska snarled at him as she and her friends walked
> towards the stricken Drow, leaving Valygar and Mazzy sitting at the table,
> wondering what had just happened.
Poor mailman, he'll be scarred for life.
> "Laska," Viconia said, still with trembling voice, as her
> friends gathered around her with concern, "can you... miss your
> cleric during this adventure? I'd like Keldorn and me to visit the temple
> of Tymora."
I have an idea of what'll happen there. I hope Keldorn packs plenty of bandages.
> "Of course," Laska said. "We're in town for this adventure.
> We can miss you for a while... But do come back soon."
> "I promise," Viconia smiled. "I'm afraid you'll have to do
> this quest without me by your side to keep you grounded. Try not to blow
> up the city."
> "I'll try," Laska chuckled, indeed realizing this was the first
> time she would adventure without her long-time Drow friend by her side.
> She hoped it would not be permanent.
> That's it, comments and crits are welcomed.
> The next Tnt will be a bit... silly.
They often are
> Okay, new A'mael tomorrow, I hope.
Must find time to read that! Too much to do, so little time...
> Have a nice day,
I always intend to, but that doesn't mean it always happens
Glorious Train Wrecks