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Tnt 71 : Existentialism, Drow style... (


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#21 Weyoun

Posted 07 November 2002 - 09:35 AM

> LOL! this whole scene cracks me up ;)

Glad to hear it! ;)

> The Wolf: Three cheers for Laska!

> Gorgorath: *sighs* Elves and liquor...

> Specter: Yeah, to Elves and liquor!

> H'kira: *shakes her head* Wolves...

Laska, Vierna and Aribeth : *toasting glasses together* TO ELVES! :D

> The Wolf: Ethics? What's ethics?

Geez, that's quite a question, Wolf. Philosophers have been mulling that over for the last 3000 years... It's a question as old as humanity... ;)

> Karnat: I be liking da first one.

LOL! I knew you would.:)

> ROFL! LMAO! They are so funny!

*smile*

> The Wolf: *thinks* I'm thinking 'Wailing Death Descends', but 'Rotting

> Flesh Forgotten' has such an optimistic and cheery style...hmm...

Well, it's better than 'Zombies playing poker'. :)

> The Wolf: No.

> Gorgorath: Elves are like rabbits.

> Specter: They can be weird like that.

Laska : Hey, it's not like either of us can get pregnant by it. :)

> The Wolf: *laughs hysterically*

*grin*

> Everyone loves Rose ;)

Laska : Rose and elves...

Vierna : Yeah, elves too...

Aribeth : Elves!

Laska, Vierna and Aribeth : EVERYBODY LOVES ELVES! :)

> LMAO!

*grin*

> Great story,

> Loved it,

> H'kira n' the Wolf

Thanks! And thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun


TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#22 Weyoun

Posted 07 November 2002 - 09:35 AM

> Tymora?

> Poor Vic. She'll be begging Shar to take her back inside of a tenday......

Just wait till you read the story first. ;)

> Oh, and Valy, don't piss off Dynaheir. Just don't. Never mind Minsc. don't

> piss off *Dynaheir*.

LOL! Good point. ;)

> *is too distracted and annoyed to lust for Laska*

Annoyed? Why annoyed?

Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#23 Weyoun

Posted 07 November 2002 - 09:35 AM

> Need you ask?

Thanks! Hey, long time no see! Everything alright?

> I certainly would like to be invited to one of Laska's parties! *grin*

LOL! Your life will never be the same afterwards. ;)

> LOL! Oh, Laska!

LOL!

> *howl* What else would she be thinking about? This exchange with Keldorn

> was classic!

*grin* Thanks!

> Why bother?

LOL! It's not like there would be any effect. ;)

> undiplomatic: just a suggestion, but the word "tactless" is more

> typically used in this manner.

Point taken. Consider it changed. ;)

> *grin* I really do feel for their housemates!

LOL! Luckily the house has thick walls. :)

> *chuckle*

> Not to mention the paintings could really do wonders for a girl's

> weightloss programme! (Personally I prefer exercise, but....)

Me too. I don't particularly enjoy scenes of gruesome death.

> No.

LOL!

> Great description of the Sphere and its arrival in Athkatla!

Thankee!

> Poor Valygar, you're gonna have to buy earplugs like the rest of us!

LOL! Yep... :)

> *howl*

> Now I'm SURE she's losing it!

It was coming for a long time, I supposed.

> Weyoun, I just love the way you throw in these little scenes -- Keldorn's

> exchange with Laska about where she got the money for her booze and this

> one with Viconia having a meltdown.... they made me laugh out loud

> (fortunately I'm alone at the moment ;)

What a coincidence! I love adding those little scene. :)

> RL has been beating me over the head and I haven't even been able to get

> out here much. I sure have missed my TnT fix. Keep writing -- I love it!

Thanks! I'm glad to hear it! I hope RL will go easier on you soon.

Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#24 Guest_Ophidia_*

Posted 07 November 2002 - 10:10 AM

> Hi!

> A new Tnt is ready.

Eeeep, too many stories, not enough time...can't...keep...up!

> Forgive me if I can't get caught up with my replies today. I'm having

> trouble keeping up.

I know the feeling!

> I hope you like the story,

> Tnt 71 : Existentialism, Drow style... "What is that?"

> Keldorn asked as Laska kicked open the door and strolled inside, dragging

> behind her a large cart filled with bottles of all sizes and descriptions.

> "Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" Laska grinned.

> "Replacements!"

Oh, Gods...

> Picking up the cart with her great strength, the elf took the cart in her

> arms and carried it down the three broad steps directly behind the front

> door. Placing the cart on the ground with a thud, one of the bottles fell

> over the edge and rolled away. And it would have escaped consumption if

> Laska didn't stop it with her foot. Bending over, she grabbed the bottle.

> "Hey, hey," the elf smiled and cradled the bottle she had just

> picked up. "Trying to hide from your aunty Laska, eh? Naughty!"

Can't blame it- you're going pull its head off, suck out its insides and then drink them! Evil, evil Laska!

> "All this... are replacements?" Keldorn asked, flabbergasted as

> he mentally counted the bottles of the cart and stopped himself when he

> got to eighty, and still saw even more bottles.

Nipick: it should be 'All these... are replacements?' Sorry, that english grammar test I did the other day has rubbed off on me.

> "Yep," Laska smiled. "Cormyrian brandy, Everdusk wine,

> Streaa, Evermead, Waterdhavian Creature juice, Chult Tequila, Kara-Turan

> rice wine, Elminster's Choice Beer, Froth-ale, Upside down Froth-ale, Deep

> Froth-ale, fermented Froth-ale, Slink, Mazte, Shein, Skooma, Saurian

> Brandy, Sujamma, Mushroom beer..."

Saurian brandy? Isn't that from Star Trek? And Waterdhavian Creature juice? A drink fermented from feathers, hair, brain and scales? No thanks!

> "How much did all this cost?" Keldorn said, waving his arm about

> to indicate his astonishment.

> "Let's see... about 2600 gold with customer discount," Laska

> smile. "The guy at the liquor store even threw in this neat cart for

> free to help me carry the bottles home. I'd been meaning to refill the

> winecellar for a week now but only got around to it now."

> "All that money on liquor?" Keldorn sighed, shaking his head.

Oh come on Keldy, your party is stinking rich!

> "Well, I'm not going to drink it all at once, just one bottle at the

> time..." the tattooed elf replied with a smile. "Besides,

> technically, it was all for free!"

> "Come again?"

> "Yes, there was a group of muggers that assaulted me when I was out

> tonight... Of course, I made quick work of them, and found a big

> coin-purse on them! I wasted no time and headed right to the

> liquor-store," Laska smiled and gently patted the bottle she was

> holding.

> "You just took the purse?" Keldorn asked.

> "Yes..."

> "You don't wonder who it belonged to?"

> "No..." Laska said, a blank look crossing her features.

> "You never considered that the purse might have an owner?"

> "No..."

> "Never crossed your mind?"

> "No..."

> "You didn't care to think that this might have been the life-savings

> of an entire family?"

> "No..."

> "What were you thinking about when you held that purse?" Keldorn

> sighed.

> Laska grinned and glanced at the cart filled with bottles.

> "Booze," Laska winked.

> "Laska," Keldorn shook his head. "We should have a little

> chat about ethics soon."

LOL, lovely exchange! I side with Laska- it's not as if they could ever find the original owners even if they wanted to.

> "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Laska snorted. "So why are you here so

> late? Isn't Maria waiting for you or did she threw you out?"

> "Certainly not," Keldorn scoffed at the very notion and grew

> more than a little tense.

Tactful!

> "Ooops," Laska grimaced. "That was a bit undiplomatic of

> me."

> "I'd say so," Keldorn smiled, relaxing. "I came here to see

> if Viconia wants to talk. It's been my observation that people with doubts

> often cannot sleep. Perhaps, if I talk to her now..."

> "She'll be more in the mood to hear you out?" Laska interrupted.

> Keldorn nodded and moved to the door leading into Viconia's quarters. A

> knock on the door following, as the Drow apparently let him in.

Ye gods, imagine if the Order saw him entering a Drow's bedroom...

> Laska shook her head and started thinking of ways to get all those bottles

> safely down the stairs. She would definitely have to carry all of them

> down one by one, since the cart couldn't fit through the staircase and

> then there would still be the risk of slipping over the stone steps

> leading into the cellar. She'd rather drink her liquor from a cup or the

> bottle rather than to have to lick it from the floor.

Laska, wisdom 3 ;)

> The dilemma was solved when Laska decided to put it off until tomorrow.

> She smiled when she heard the light step of Rose, coming down the stairs

> to the second floor. Crouching behind one of the parlor-palms, she grinned

> as the half-elf stepped off the stairs. Immediately, Laska pounced and

> wrapped her arms around the waist of a giggling Rose. The half-elf turned

> around in her arms, but for she could speak a word, Laska captured her

> lover's lips. During the seemingly endless kiss, Rose returned the

> embrace, wrapping her arms around Laska's neck.

> "I haven't seen you all day," Laska smiled after finally

> breaking the kiss, still holding on to Rose.

> "Sorry," Rose smiled apologetically. "Long day of tending

> bar at the inn. And I've just put my little sister to bed. Risa insisted

> that I tell her no less than two stories."

> "Stories? What about?" Laska asked.

> "'The laughing Kobold and his dog' and 'Three little ogres'"

> "Classics," Laska said.

Yeah!

> "Say," Rose asked her lover in a sultry voice, while twirling a

> bit of Laska's long dark hair around her finger, "how about another

> game of... the brave and powerful adventurer meets the sweet, innocent and

> frail milkmaid?"

I can guess who plays what in this...

> "Ooooh," Laska returned the embrace and kissed Rose on the lips

> briefly. "Sounds good to me."

> "Good," Rose smiled. "I'll get the chainmail from the

> dresser, you get the milk and honey from the kitchen..."

> "Deal," Laska smiled in return. "Say, errr," Laska

> asked carefully, "do I get to be the adventurer this time?"

I KNEW it! ROFL

> "Come on," Rose smiled and batted Laska playfully against the

> chest, "you're ALWAYS the powerful adventurer... Give someone else a

> chance."

> ---

> "Ah, Keldorn," Viconia said, not looking up from the painting

> she was holding. "Might I ask your opinion on something?"

> "Always," Keldorn smiled, hoping she would open up to him.

> "Yes," Viconia said, picking up another painting, "which

> one of these do you think would look better over the dinner table on the

> right side of the room. 'Wailing Death Descends' or 'Rotting Flesh

> Forgotten'?"

Wailing death. Definitely.

> Grimacing at the dark and gruesome things depicted on either painting,

> Keldorn forgot his disappointment for a moment. "I... I am not sure

> those would be... well to hang over a dinner-table. I would suspect loss

> of appetites will lead to a fuller larder, though."

> "Ah, good point," Viconia said and scribbled some notes on her

> diagram of the house, which hung on the wall. "Maybe I'll hang

> 'undead man walking' there, then."

Much nicer!

> "Undead man walking," Keldorn muttered disapprovingly and sat

> down in a chair.

> "I've decided to take down all the artworks in this house and

> reorganize them. Damn Laska and her weeds!" Viconia shouted, her

> temper building up. "It ruined the entire light and furniture pattern

> in the house! I need to... I must..."

Philistine.

> "Perform pointless busy-work to avoid confronting what happened to

> you yesterday?" Keldorn finished for Viconia.

> "Must you," Viconia snarled, putting down the third painting,

> "always be so DAMNED confrontational?! Why must you always have such

> a sanctimonious and paladine attitude?!"

She is calling him confrontational???

> "Then how did you come to worship her?" Keldorn probed.

> "You mentioned that she spoke to you before."

> "Keldorn," Viconia stood up. "If you ever consider blabbing

> what I am about to tell you to anyone, I will personally feed your

> genitals to a wolf," she menaced.

> After grimacing for a moment, Keldorn composed himself and dared to ask

> further. "Tell me, then."

Bet he crossed his legs, too. Men always do if faced with mental images of certain mutilations!

> "I've told you about my... Great, Shar!" Viconia said, her ear

> piqued in the direction of Laska's bedroom, "don't those two ever

> stop?"

> "Apparently not," Keldorn said impatiently. "Please

> continue."

LOL! They don't.

> "Anyway," Viconia continued, "I have told you that, when I

> travelled the surface for the first time, I was hunted by all, could not

> find any source of food and huddled under the great open sky. It was

> all... too much for me to handle. It was so different. I had power in the

> Underdark, and none on the surface. One evening I simply... took out my

> old dagger. It was made from Adamantine and was already decaying, so I

> wanted to make my move before I lost my last change. I... put my dagger to

> my own breast and..."

> "You contemplated suicide?" Keldorn asked.

> "Do not see it as weakness, Keldorn," Viconia nodded. "See

> it as taking my fate in my own hand. To die with a shred of pride instead

> of ending at the spear of a hunter or the arrow of an elf."

The Drow way, I guess.

> "Obviously you are still alive," Keldorn said. "What

> happened next?"

> "Divine intervention," Viconia smiled. "I heard a whisper

> in the wind. No words were spoken but I could hear words in the winds

> whipping across me. A voice, strong, yet slightly benevolent offered

> power. Not much, just enough for me to survive, something I could nurture

> and something that would allow me to grow. The wind whispered a single

> word in my ear. 'SHAR'. And then I had the power. I knew nothing of Shar

> or her domain when I traveled but I slowly learned. But I've always

> thought I was simply given these powers without obligations. And I always

> wonder why. In any case, I am grateful to Shar."

I've never understood why Shar is evil, anyway. She is the goddess of night and loss, so, sure, she is dark- but evil? Doesn't seem evil to me.

> "But Tymora's sudden interest puzzles you does it not?" Keldorn

> asked. "It might be a good idea to pursue why she's interested in

> you. There is a temple to Tymora on the road between Athkatla and

> Trademeet. Perhaps, we could visit it together to find answers."

Slight nitpick here: In the last chapter, you hinted it was Tymora, but here, Keldorn is suddenly saying it outright without any apparent figuring out in-between. Maybe a brief explanation from Keldy as to why it could be Tymora?

> "STOP," Viconia shouted, but caught herself, "trying to

> convert me. I worship Shar and Shar alone! I do not know this Tymora and I

> do not want to know her."

> "But, apparently," Keldorn said, "Tymora wants to know you.

> Would that not be reason enough to at least visit her temple?"

> "Get out..." Viconia whispered silently.

> "But, Viconia," Keldorn started to say.

> "I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!" the Drow snarled.

> Keldorn nodded solemnly and silently left the room. When the paladin was

> gone, Viconia flopped into her desk chair and let her head hang backwards,

> sighing. Khittix once again came forth to comfort and received another

> petting over the head.

My bedroom spider, Lolth, has left me. I miss her, it's not fair. (sniffle)

> ---

> During breakfast today, Laska noted that Viconia had remained strangely

> silent. No complaints about Korgan's eating, nor any complaints about the

> noise coming from Laska's bedroom during the night.

> However, the tension in the air was obvious as time passed. Viconia

> silenced her fellows with a single glare. Pure murder was in her eyes as

> she regarded someone looking in her direction. Just as she wondered wether

> she should smack her Drow friend to knock some sense into her, a very

> familiar sight stepped through the door.

> "Hello, hello, hello!" Jan smiled, wearing a pair of strange

> dark glasses and a blue shirt with palm-trees on it, "the gnome is

> back, so your lives have meaning once more!"

> "Back from yer honeymoon so soon, ey?" Korgan chuckled.

> "Blimey, that be quick."

> "What?!" Jan smirked, but put his hands at his sides. "What

> are you implying?!"

> "HAR!" Korgan roared. "Ye be figurin' it out!"

Don't make him talk about your underwear! ;)

> "Hey there, Jan," Rose smiled. "How was you

> honeymoon?"

> "Oh, great!" Jan smiled. "We went to Lantan. To the

> Thompson Skiing/health/beach resort! Oh, we had so much fun. We drank from

> a turnip with two straws in it. And after that, we went bungee-jumping at

> cliff SmashDeath. And then, we went shark-fishing! Well, actually the

> sharks went gnome-fishing... we just had to resist the temptation to bite

> into the turnip the sharks had baited their hooks with.

Danger is an aphrodisiac, eh?

> Ah, it was an

> adventurous holiday. Lava-surfing, Orc-punching, Skunk-tossing, Insult

> fingerbiting and, best of all, hurling insults at a Red Wizard! We had fun

> there. Lissa came up with an insult, comparing Reddie's parentage with

> that of a pig and a griffin.

If this was Eddie, he probably loved every minute...btw, have you met the Red Wizard in Luskan? Art Webber, his name is.

You know, I've always found it vaguely disturbing in the game when Jan calls Lissa 'Lis' for short...

> Time to dodge some fireballs there! Gotta

> love outdoor extreme sports. Even the wedding night was an extreme

> sport."

> "How so?" Rose asked.

> "They only have spike-beds at the resort," Jan smiled.

Ye gods! Now there's a side of Jan's personality I never even wanted to see!

> "Ouch," Laska said. "Elves have too soft a skin for

> that."

> "Anyway, could you gather the troops? I have a new quest for

> ya!" Jan grinned.

> "What?" Dynaheir grinned. "Thy wouldst not have us chase

> across Toril to find a golden turnip?"

Further to our email conversation, this should be 'Thou wouldst'. Mind you, considering that in the game Dynaheir uses thou and thy inchangeably, it probably doesn't matter hugely.

> "No, no, actually, I want you to explore a giant marble," Jan

> grinned.

> "Okay, he's gone nuts," Minsc said. "Boo says married life

> has gone to his head."

LOL, Minsc telling him he's gone nuts...I love it.

> "No, no, no, no, no," Jan smiled. "I'm telling you, a giant

> marble just appeared in the slums! Just ZAP it was there. Carved straight

> through buildings and is just sitting there like a big, useless soccerball

> made out of metal. Damn thing has everyone and everything in an uproar.

> Cowled wizards came and tried to break in and *POOF*, they were turned

> into pigeons. Shadow Thieves came, tried to open the door and *POOF* were

> turned into Ostriches. Now, I think you can imagine a little round vault

> like that must contain quite a bit of treasure."

> "Aye," Korgan roared. "Thar be gold in that there

> marble!"

heheheh...

> "But," Laska said, "I have no intention to spending the

> rest of my millenia of life as a crow or a duck."

Sounds superb to me.

> "You don't have to," Jan grinned. "Because I found someone

> snooping around there. Valy? Would you come in?"

> All heads turned to the door, where a tall, brooding man was standing,

> wearing a cloak that completely concealed his features. "Is," he

> said in a deep voice, "the gnome done talking? Please tell me his

> done talking."

(waves) Hi Valy!

> The party was assembled completely. Laska, Minsc, Keldorn, Viconia,

> Dynaheir, Korgan, Jan, Mazzy and Valygar were sitting at the dinner table

> discussing the situation. Valygar told them about the sphere, Lavok, his

> family and his aversion to all practitioners of magic, and his desire to

> end the life of Lavok for once and for all.

> "So," Dynaheir spoke, "thou dost not like mages much,

> then."

> "No, I do not," Valygar said, glaring holes in her skull, "

> witch ."

> "Boo says that a brother of the woods should not speak so harsh to

> nice Dynaheir," Minsc muttered.

I sense a rift here. I think Dynaheir can stand Valy, but can Minsc?

> "In any case," Valygar said, "I hear from friends that you,

> Laska and your Drow friend were responsible for the death of Tolgerias,

> the one who knew the sphere would return and would use my body to open its

> secrets."

> "How did you know what?" Laska asked.

> "I have friends among the Shadow Thieves. Don't worry, they'd rather

> see Tolgerias go as well," Valygar nodded. "Now, you can have

> everything we find inside the sphere. I just want to end Lavok's hold over

> my bloodline."

> "Finally," Mazzy smiled. "A new quest. I was beginning to

> feel a bit ignored here."

It speaks!

> "YOU!" was suddenly shouted by Viconia, at the top of her lungs.

> "YOU ARE A JOKE, VALYGAR! A JOKE! TO DENY MAGIC IS TO DENY YOURSELF,

> TO DENY THE WORLD! YOU ARE USELESS!"

> Everybody was staring at the Drow with open mouth. Next, Viconia turned to

> Laska.

> "YOU BLOODY ELF! YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH, ACT LIKE AN IDIOT AND NEVER,

> EVER THINK!" Viconia snarled. "YOU PLAY WITH ALL OUR LIVES

> GUIDED BY YOUR FOOLISH WHIMS!"

> "AND YOU!" Viconia directed her ire Minsc, "DEMENTED FOOL,

> GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS FOR ONCE IN A WHILE!"

> "KELDORN!" she added. "SANCTIMONIOUS GIT! CAN'T YOU LEAVE

> WELL ENOUGH ALONE?! DO YOU HAVE TO MEDDLE WITH EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T

> SUIT YOUR NARROW VISIONS OF GOOD AND EVIL?!"

> "DYNAHEIR!" the drow continued, but a little gentler, "stop

> feeling so damn guilty about your vampirism. That wasn't you."

> After this oasis of rest, she continued at full force. "KORGAN! YOU

> SMELL LIKE A SKUNK! TAKE A BATH AND STOP SWINGING THAT AXE AROUND

> EVERYWHERE YOU GO!"

> "OY!"

> "AND JAN!" Viconia snarled. "For the love of the gods,

> PLEASE SHUT UP ONCE IN A WHILE!"

> "Mazzy!" Viconia snarled. "You... you... MIDGET!"

> "What?!" Mazzy gasped.

> "AND YOU!" Viconia pointed at a surprised Rose walking in from

> the kitchen. "I have... nothing nasty to say about you and I HATE

> THAT!"

ROFL! I agree entirely. I hate perfect people.

> "AND I DON'T KNOW YOU!" Viconia snarled and pointed to a

> startled man at the door. "BUT I'm sure you're a JERK!"

> "I... I'm just the mail-man, madam," the startled man spoke.

> Ignoring the flabbergasted stares of her friends, Viconia slowly walked

> away, finally having fallen silent. Slowly, she lowered herself on the

> couch, where Khittix was already waiting for her. She bend forward,

> cradling her head in her hands and tossing her white hair about. "I'm

> sorry," she said, her voice trembling with emotion, "I... love

> you all."

Awwww! So sweet!

> "Even me?" the mail-man dared to ask.

> "Sod off!" Laska snarled at him as she and her friends walked

> towards the stricken Drow, leaving Valygar and Mazzy sitting at the table,

> wondering what had just happened.

Poor mailman, he'll be scarred for life.

> "Laska," Viconia said, still with trembling voice, as her

> friends gathered around her with concern, "can you... miss your

> cleric during this adventure? I'd like Keldorn and me to visit the temple

> of Tymora."

I have an idea of what'll happen there. I hope Keldorn packs plenty of bandages.

> "Of course," Laska said. "We're in town for this adventure.

> We can miss you for a while... But do come back soon."

> "I promise," Viconia smiled. "I'm afraid you'll have to do

> this quest without me by your side to keep you grounded. Try not to blow

> up the city."

> "I'll try," Laska chuckled, indeed realizing this was the first

> time she would adventure without her long-time Drow friend by her side.

> She hoped it would not be permanent.

> That's it, comments and crits are welcomed.

> The next Tnt will be a bit... silly. ;)

They often are ;)

> Okay, new A'mael tomorrow, I hope. :)

Must find time to read that! Too much to do, so little time...

> Have a nice day,

I always intend to, but that doesn't mean it always happens :)


Glorious Train Wrecks

#25 Weyoun

Posted 07 November 2002 - 08:22 PM

> Eeeep, too many stories, not enough time...can't...keep...up!

> I know the feeling!

Tell me about it. Things are finally quieting down for a bit, luckily. :)

> Oh, Gods...

LOL!

> Can't blame it- you're going pull its head off, suck out its insides and

> then drink them! Evil, evil Laska!

LOL! Suck out the insides? Whoa... if you look at it this way. :)

> Nipick: it should be 'All these... are replacements?' Sorry, that english

> grammar test I did the other day has rubbed off on me.

Hey, I don't mind! I appreciate it, really. :)

> Saurian brandy? Isn't that from Star Trek?

Good eye! :D

> And Waterdhavian Creature

> juice? A drink fermented from feathers, hair, brain and scales? No thanks!

LOL! It has a really distinct taste. :)

> Oh come on Keldy, your party is stinking rich!

*grin* Oh, yeah, they live in a big house, after all. :)

> LOL, lovely exchange! I side with Laska- it's not as if they could ever

> find the original owners even if they wanted to.

*grin* Doesn't mean Keldorn wouldn't have tried, though... attracting every thief in a five-mile radius. :D

> Ye gods, imagine if the Order saw him entering a Drow's bedroom...

LOL! Evil Keldorn influences, again? :D

> Laska, wisdom 3 :)

Nah, if she had that low wisdom, she would have simply carried the cart downstairs and damn the consequences. :)

> I can guess who plays what in this...

> I KNEW it! ROFL

LOL! Was it that obvious? :)

> Wailing death. Definitely.

LOL!

> Philistine.

I thought she was a plant-hater? :)

> She is calling him confrontational???

LOL! When you put it that way... :)

> Bet he crossed his legs, too. Men always do if faced with mental images of

> certain mutilations!

I wonder why. I mean, I don't do that... :/

> LOL! They don't.

Nope, never... and I mean Never. :)

> The Drow way, I guess.

Pride before everything.

> I've never understood why Shar is evil, anyway. She is the goddess of

> night and loss, so, sure, she is dark- but evil? Doesn't seem evil to me.

Well, it's her methods of gaining followers. Shar is an enemy of lawfuls and her followers are actively bringing down governments, and drive people to Shar when the chaos turns into armed conflict. The women who lose loved ones in the struggles become bitter and vengeful and often turn to Shar. Or at least, that's how I understand it. :)

> Slight nitpick here: In the last chapter, you hinted it was Tymora, but

> here, Keldorn is suddenly saying it outright without any apparent figuring

> out in-between. Maybe a brief explanation from Keldy as to why it could be

> Tymora?

Well, I figured the shamrock last chapter was pretty much a giveway, but I'll have to elaborate a little more, perhaps.

> My bedroom spider, Lolth, has left me. I miss her, it's not fair.

> (sniffle)

Awwww... :( Have you looked for her? Maybe, she's moved her web to another place? In any case, you'll still have Shelob, Mistress of the Pit, right?

> Don't make him talk about your underwear! :)

Never. :)

> If this was Eddie, he probably loved every minute...btw, have you met the

> Red Wizard in Luskan? Art Webber, his name is.

Nah, it was a hired actor... and I never did find that Art Webber guy. Where is he?

> You know, I've always found it vaguely disturbing in the game when Jan

> calls Lissa 'Lis' for short...

Ah, I guess that can be disturbing...

> Ye gods! Now there's a side of Jan's personality I never even wanted to

> see!

LOL! Good point. :)

> Further to our email conversation, this should be 'Thou wouldst'. Mind

> you, considering that in the game Dynaheir uses thou and thy inchangeably,

> it probably doesn't matter hugely.

D'OHETH! :D Got it wrong again. :(

> LOL, Minsc telling him he's gone nuts...I love it.

*grin* Couldn't resist. :)

> (waves) Hi Valy!

He's in for it now. :)

> I sense a rift here. I think Dynaheir can stand Valy, but can Minsc?

Well, he won't be staying long, so don't worry. :)

> It speaks!

ROTFL! That's just one level above that of a trained monkey... *Ouch, that was a rotten remark to make about Mazzy, eh* :)

> ROFL! I agree entirely. I hate perfect people.

I hope you don't hate Rose, though. :) She's not perfect, but Viconia can't think of anything nasty to say... :)

> Awwww! So sweet!

*smile*

> I have an idea of what'll happen there. I hope Keldorn packs plenty of

> bandages.

Good idea... :)

> They often are :)

*smile* This one promises to be very silly. :)

> Must find time to read that! Too much to do, so little time...

Well, it will be archived at the New Attic, so you can read it at anytime you want.

> I always intend to, but that doesn't mean it always happens :)

Still, I wish you all a happy day. Nothing wrong with that, I hope.

Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#26 Guest_Silrana_*

Posted 08 November 2002 - 01:13 AM

> "All this... are replacements?" Keldorn asked, flabbergasted as

> he mentally counted the bottles of the cart and stopped himself when he

> got to eighty, and still saw even more bottles.

> "Yep," Laska smiled. "Cormyrian brandy, Everdusk wine,

> Streaa, Evermead, Waterdhavian Creature juice, Chult Tequila, Kara-Turan

> rice wine, Elminster's Choice Beer, Froth-ale, Upside down Froth-ale, Deep

> Froth-ale, fermented Froth-ale, Slink, Mazte, Shein, Skooma, Saurian

> Brandy, Sujamma, Mushroom beer..."

Oh, Laska! Why isn't your liver the size of a boulder?

> "You didn't care to think that this might have been the life-savings

> of an entire family?"

> "No..."

> "What were you thinking about when you held that purse?" Keldorn

> sighed.

> Laska grinned and glanced at the cart filled with bottles.

> "Booze," Laska winked.

> "Laska," Keldorn shook his head. "We should have a little

> chat about ethics soon."

*wince* Laska, I have to admit he has a point.

> "Perform pointless busy-work to avoid confronting what happened to

> you yesterday?" Keldorn finished for Viconia.

> "Must you," Viconia snarled, putting down the third painting,

> "always be so DAMNED confrontational?! Why must you always have such

> a sanctimonious and paladine attitude?!"

*grin* Score for Keldorn. He nailed it on the head.

> "Keldorn," Viconia stood up. "If you ever consider blabbing

> what I am about to tell you to anyone, I will personally feed your

> genitals to a wolf," she menaced.

Erk!

> "Divine intervention," Viconia smiled. "I heard a whisper

> in the wind. No words were spoken but I could hear words in the winds

> whipping across me. A voice, strong, yet slightly benevolent offered

> power. Not much, just enough for me to survive, something I could nurture

> and something that would allow me to grow. The wind whispered a single

> word in my ear. 'SHAR'. And then I had the power. I knew nothing of Shar

> or her domain when I traveled but I slowly learned. But I've always

> thought I was simply given these powers without obligations. And I always

> wonder why. In any case, I am grateful to Shar."

Shar doesn't give anything away for free. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she gave Viconia powers just to have the fun of yanking them away.

> "But Tymora's sudden interest puzzles you does it not?" Keldorn

> asked. "It might be a good idea to pursue why she's interested in

> you. There is a temple to Tymora on the road between Athkatla and

> Trademeet. Perhaps, we could visit it together to find answers."

> "STOP," Viconia shouted, but caught herself, "trying to

> convert me. I worship Shar and Shar alone! I do not know this Tymora and I

> do not want to know her."

> "But, apparently," Keldorn said, "Tymora wants to know you.

> Would that not be reason enough to at least visit her temple?"

I love this whole idea. Viconia as a Tymoran. Very interesting.

> "Okay, he's gone nuts," Minsc said. "Boo says married life

> has gone to his head."

That's bad when *Minsc* says your crazy.

> "You don't have to," Jan grinned. "Because I found someone

> snooping around there. Valy? Would you come in?"

> All heads turned to the door, where a tall, brooding man was standing,

> wearing a cloak that completely concealed his features. "Is," he

> said in a deep voice, "the gnome done talking? Please tell me his

> done talking."

There, there, Val. You can throttle him later.

> "YOU!" was suddenly shouted by Viconia, at the top of her lungs.

> "YOU ARE A JOKE, VALYGAR! A JOKE! TO DENY MAGIC IS TO DENY YOURSELF,

> TO DENY THE WORLD! YOU ARE USELESS!"

Well *cough* I wouldn't say useless....

> "YOU BLOODY ELF! YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH, ACT LIKE AN IDIOT AND NEVER,

> EVER THINK!" Viconia snarled. "YOU PLAY WITH ALL OUR LIVES

> GUIDED BY YOUR FOOLISH WHIMS!"

Er, rather true.

> "AND YOU!" Viconia directed her ire Minsc, "DEMENTED FOOL,

> GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS FOR ONCE IN A WHILE!"

Low blow.

> "KELDORN!" she added. "SANCTIMONIOUS GIT! CAN'T YOU LEAVE

> WELL ENOUGH ALONE?! DO YOU HAVE TO MEDDLE WITH EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T

> SUIT YOUR NARROW VISIONS OF GOOD AND EVIL?!"

*grin* And point out things you don't want to face?

> "DYNAHEIR!" the drow continued, but a little gentler, "stop

> feeling so damn guilty about your vampirism. That wasn't you."

Better.

> After this oasis of rest, she continued at full force. "KORGAN! YOU

> SMELL LIKE A SKUNK! TAKE A BATH AND STOP SWINGING THAT AXE AROUND

> EVERYWHERE YOU GO!"

> "OY!"

The truth hurts, Korgan!

> "AND JAN!" Viconia snarled. "For the love of the gods,

> PLEASE SHUT UP ONCE IN A WHILE!"

*stands up and applauds*

> "Mazzy!" Viconia snarled. "You... you... MIDGET!"

> "What?!" Mazzy gasped.

Running out of ideas, Viconia?

> "AND YOU!" Viconia pointed at a surprised Rose walking in from

> the kitchen. "I have... nothing nasty to say about you and I HATE

> THAT!"

*snerk*

> "AND I DON'T KNOW YOU!" Viconia snarled and pointed to a

> startled man at the door. "BUT I'm sure you're a JERK!"

> "I... I'm just the mail-man, madam," the startled man spoke.

Bwahahahaha!

> Ignoring the flabbergasted stares of her friends, Viconia slowly walked

> away, finally having fallen silent. Slowly, she lowered herself on the

> couch, where Khittix was already waiting for her. She bend forward,

> cradling her head in her hands and tossing her white hair about. "I'm

> sorry," she said, her voice trembling with emotion, "I... love

> you all."

> "Even me?" the mail-man dared to ask.

LOL!

> "Sod off!" Laska snarled at him as she and her friends walked

> towards the stricken Drow, leaving Valygar and Mazzy sitting at the table,

> wondering what had just happened.

> "Laska," Viconia said, still with trembling voice, as her

> friends gathered around her with concern, "can you... miss your

> cleric during this adventure? I'd like Keldorn and me to visit the temple

> of Tymora."

Awww.

Very nice.

> The next Tnt will be a bit... silly. ;)

Silly is good. :D


#27 Weyoun

Posted 08 November 2002 - 11:33 AM

> Oh, Laska! Why isn't your liver the size of a boulder?

LOL! It's her elven regeneration, I think! Plus she has a Save vs. Alcohol of 2. :)

> *wince* Laska, I have to admit he has a point.

Well, if it was me, I would have tried to find the owner. Just not when A) I'm in dark ally. B) I've just been mugged there before. Besides, if Laska brought it to the officials, they would have laughed real hard and pocket the money themselves, knowing Amnian corruption. So Laska figured she could keep it. :)

> *grin* Score for Keldorn. He nailed it on the head.

Yep. ;)

> Erk!

Now, she DOES meant that. I hope Keldorn won't take such threats likely. ;)

> Shar doesn't give anything away for free. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised

> if she gave Viconia powers just to have the fun of yanking them away.

*nods* Shar is cruel. Unmitigatingly cruel. :D

> I love this whole idea. Viconia as a Tymoran. Very interesting.

Errr, I shouldn't wonder. You were the one who suggested it to me, don't you remember?

> That's bad when *Minsc* says your crazy.

LOL! Worlds are colliding! :D

> There, there, Val. You can throttle him later.

LOL! Oh, Jan. :D

> Well *cough* I wouldn't say useless....

I know that. Viconia doesn't mean it, but you could say her steam-valve got clogged for a moment. :D

Say, how's the Valygar-romance coming along? Still on track?

> Er, rather true.

*grin*

> Low blow.

Yeah, I know. But, keep in mind, she doesn't mean it.

> *grin* And point out things you don't want to face?

LOL! Yep. :)

> Better.

A bit calmer here. :)

> The truth hurts, Korgan!

ROTFL! Korgan thinks soap is poison. :)

> *stands up and applauds*

LOL! Somehow, I knew you'd say that. :)

> Running out of ideas, Viconia?

Well, that's the only thing she can say about Mazzy and not actually mean. :) There's no love lost between those two. :)

> *snerk*

Everybody love Rose! :)

Laska : And elves. Everybody loved Raymond! Errr, I meant to say elves. :)

> Bwahahahaha!

Poor man will be scarred for life. :)

> Awww.

> Very nice.

Thanks!

> Silly is good. :D

Oh, believe me, this part will be even sillier than normal. There will be... guest-appearances. :)

Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#28 Guest_zan_*

Posted 08 November 2002 - 01:41 PM

> "What were you thinking about when you held that purse?" Keldorn

> sighed.

> Laska grinned and glanced at the cart filled with bottles.

> "Booze," Laska winked.

oh, priceless :) go, Laska, go! i had a similar experience last week - saw a guy drop his wallet. sadly, my first thought was "give it back" as opposed to "hello, off-licence!". any chance laska could train me? ;-)

> "No, no, no, no, no," Jan smiled. "I'm telling you, a giant

> marble just appeared in the slums! Just ZAP it was there. Carved straight

> through buildings and is just sitting there like a big, useless soccerball

> made out of metal. Damn thing has everyone and everything in an uproar.

> Cowled wizards came and tried to break in and *POOF*, they were turned

> into pigeons. Shadow Thieves came, tried to open the door and *POOF* were

> turned into Ostriches. Now, I think you can imagine a little round vault

> like that must contain quite a bit of treasure."

a giant marble? i've heard it described as many things, but that...is simulataneously unique, and perfect :)

ah, this was fun :-) always like seeing another part of TnT...

zan


#29 Guest_Silver_*

Posted 08 November 2002 - 06:41 PM

> Glad to hear that. Whoa, I've been having real trouble staying caught up

> at the moment.

It happens to most us now and then.

> Oh, he'd say that, wouldn't he? ;-)

Emma: Well he does like those sorts of games...

> Wise Boo knows all! :-)

He sure does. :)

> Sure, why not? Go ahead.

Thanks. :)

Silver


#30 Weyoun

Posted 08 November 2002 - 08:51 PM

> oh, priceless :) go, Laska, go! i had a similar experience last week - saw

> a guy drop his wallet. sadly, my first thought was "give it

> back" as opposed to "hello, off-licence!". any chance laska

> could train me? ;-)

Laska : Sure! Okay, Zan, the first thing you do is focus. Hold the wallet in your hand and feel the texture of the leather... then focus on the bottles you can buy with it. Second, think of the guy... and see him as the enemy. Think of him making money over the backs of thousands of suffering innocents. You'll want to be keeping the wallet then.

And if the off-license is in the same street it will greatly help the effort of overcoming the 'give back'-impulse. :-)

> a giant marble? i've heard it described as many things, but that...is

> simulataneously unique, and perfect :)

LOL! Thanks!

> ah, this was fun :) always like seeing another part of TnT...

Glad to hear it! Next part will be out Sunday.

Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#31 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 November 2002 - 01:49 AM

> Hi!

Greetings.

> A new Tnt is ready.

Yay!

> Forgive me if I can't get caught up with my replies today. I'm having

> trouble keeping up.

Hope you don't mind that I haven't had time to catch up on the reading. Looking at the ceiling for hours at a time is booo-ring. :-D((

> I hope you like the story,

Sure did, dude!

> "Hey, hey," the elf smiled and cradled the bottle she had just

> picked up. "Trying to hide from your aunty Laska, eh? Naughty!"

This is very funny! But...um...aren't there nasty health risks to over-indulgence of drink? We don't want Laska's voice sounding like a rusty nail's (like Cor's).

> "Let's see... about 2600 gold with customer discount," Laska

> smile. "The guy at the liquor store even threw in this neat cart for

> free to help me carry the bottles home. I'd been meaning to refill the

> winecellar for a week now but only got around to it now."

Um, does she get DT's when she's forced to stay sober? Not a jab; I'm genuinely curious. :-(

> "Yes, there was a group of muggers that assaulted me when I was out

> tonight... Of course, I made quick work of them, and found a big

> coin-purse on them! I wasted no time and headed right to the

> liquor-store," Laska smiled and gently patted the bottle she was

> holding.

Who says crime doesn't pay? Of course the muggers aren't around to enjoy the fruits of their efforts, but -- hey! If they're dumb enough to attack a heavily armed elf, then...well...that's their own fault.

> "You just took the purse?" Keldorn asked.

> "Yes..."

> "You don't wonder who it belonged to?"

> "No..." Laska said, a blank look crossing her features.

> "You never considered that the purse might have an owner?"

> "No..."

> "Never crossed your mind?"

> "No..."

> "You didn't care to think that this might have been the life-savings

> of an entire family?"

I liked your question and answer technique here! I don't know nothing 'bout no Inquisitors, but this would seem to be in line w/ what the name means, lol!

I'm surprised that he didn't mention anything about donating the gp to a worthy temple. :-)

> "'The laughing Kobold and his dog' and 'Three little ogres'"

Laughing Kobold and his dog?! Is that based on a real children's story?

> "Say," Rose asked her lover in a sultry voice, while twirling a

> bit of Laska's long dark hair around her finger, "how about another

> game of... the brave and powerful adventurer meets the sweet, innocent and

> frail milkmaid?"

> "Ooooh," Laska returned the embrace and kissed Rose on the lips

> briefly. "Sounds good to me."

> "Good," Rose smiled. "I'll get the chainmail from the

> dresser, you get the milk and honey from the kitchen..."

> "Deal," Laska smiled in return. "Say, errr," Laska

> asked carefully, "do I get to be the adventurer this time?"

ROTFLMAO! It's amusing, thinking of Laska playing the part of the milkmaid.

> Grimacing at the dark and gruesome things depicted on either painting,

> Keldorn forgot his disappointment for a moment. "I... I am not sure

> those would be... well to hang over a dinner-table. I would suspect loss

> of appetites will lead to a fuller larder, though."

LOL! Except the folks who'd be most in need of losing weight would probably be the ones least likely to be *ffected (affected? effected?).

> "I am a paladin, Viconia," Keldorn said. "And I am here to

> help you. You need only ask..."

I don't know if I've ever said so before, but I absolutely dote on your Keldorn! He's such a sweetie!!! (I wonder how he hasn't wound up stark raving mad yet.) And the interplay among your characters...fantastic!

> "Aye," Korgan roared. "Thar be gold in that there

> marble!"

Yukon ?Jack? Is Korgan semi-quoting from the kiddie seasonal cartoon "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

> "You don't have to," Jan grinned. "Because I found someone

> snooping around there. Valy? Would you come in?"

Wow! I just wonder how the meeting between Jan & Valygar would've gone! They don't seem the ones who'd naturally strike up a companionable bond between each other.

> All heads turned to the door, where a tall, brooding man was standing,

> wearing a cloak that completely concealed his features. "Is," he

> said in a deep voice, "the gnome done talking? Please tell me his

> done talking."

ROTFL!

> ---

> "AND YOU!" Viconia pointed at a surprised Rose walking in from

> the kitchen. "I have... nothing nasty to say about you and I HATE

> THAT!"

LOL! So she finally lost it, eh? :)) Hmm, and I'd've wagered that Keldy would be the first one to go starkers. ::sigh:: Very nicely done, btw! She voiced everything that the reader thought.

> > Have a nice day,

It's considerably nicer, now that I've enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing it. :D


#32 Weyoun

Posted 11 November 2002 - 11:09 AM

> Greetings.

Hi!

> Hope you don't mind that I haven't had time to catch up on the reading.

Of course not! Don't worry.

> This is very funny! But...um...aren't there nasty health risks to

> over-indulgence of drink? We don't want Laska's voice sounding like a

> rusty nail's (like Cor's).

Oh, don't worry. Laska's elven regeneration works quite fine. Keeps the liver tiny too. :)

> Um, does she get DT's when she's forced to stay sober? Not a jab; I'm

> genuinely curious. :)

No, not really. Her drinking patterns are too erratic for that and she hasn't got an addictive personality (No, really. She hasn't...). One week she's drunk every night, and the next month she could be completely dry without so much as a sweat, for example.

> Who says crime doesn't pay? Of course the muggers aren't around to enjoy

> the fruits of their efforts, but -- hey! If they're dumb enough to attack

> a heavily armed elf, then...well...that's their own fault.

LOL! Good point!

> I liked your question and answer technique here! I don't know nothing

> 'bout no Inquisitors, but this would seem to be in line w/ what the name

> means, lol!

LOL!

> I'm surprised that he didn't mention anything about donating the gp to a

> worthy temple. :)

To be honest, I never thought of that. In any case, Laska donated it to the temple of Bacchus is a way. :)

> Laughing Kobold and his dog?! Is that based on a real children's story?

The 'Laughing Shepard and his dog' if I'm not mistaken.

> ROTFLMAO! It's amusing, thinking of Laska playing the part of the

> milkmaid.

*grin* A little role-reversal.

> I don't know if I've ever said so before, but I absolutely dote on your

> Keldorn! He's such a sweetie!!! (I wonder how he hasn't wound up stark

> raving mad yet.) And the interplay among your characters...fantastic!

Thank you!

> Yukon ?Jack? Is Korgan semi-quoting from the kiddie seasonal cartoon

> "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

I think I quoted Yosemite Sam. :)

> Wow! I just wonder how the meeting between Jan & Valygar would've

> gone! They don't seem the ones who'd naturally strike up a companionable

> bond between each other.

No, really they don't, but I think I leave that to the reader's imagination. :D

> LOL! So she finally lost it, eh? :)) Hmm, and I'd've wagered that Keldy

> would be the first one to go starkers. ::sigh:: Very nicely done, btw! She

> voiced everything that the reader thought.

LOL! Well, she didn't mean any malice, she's just been under a lot of stress.

> It's considerably nicer, now that I've enjoyed your story. Thanks for

> sharing it. :)

My pleasure! Thanks for commenting,

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi




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