Just to pass along something interesting, here are some points from an "advice for fanfic writers" site. Thanks to Darkrose for posting the link in her journal. I am not posting all of them, because many deal with 'adult' stories or genres so different from D&D that the advice wouldn't apply.
1. Pointless synonyms for "to say." There are times when it's important to let us know that a character asked, or replied, or shrieked, or giggled, but a good writer can, more often than not, imply this in the dialogue. Nobody will mind if you use "said" over and over; they will mind even less if you eliminate attribution tags altogether when it's clear who's speaking. What your readers will mind is the word "utter" every three paragraphs.
4. If you can't spell key words in the following phrases right, then don't use them: "piqued his interest" (not "peeked" or "peaked"); "loath to admit" (not "loathe"); "lose his virginity" (not "loose"); "toe the line" (not "tow"); "waver in her affections" (not "waiver"). Also, you're not allowed to talk about anyone's prostate gland if you spell it "prostrate." Sacrifices and some marriages take place at altars (not "alters"), and when you quote something, you're citing it (not "sighting" or "siting"). I know your spell-check program doesn't catch these. As my dad would say, that's an explanation, but not an excuse. If you agree with me, say "hear, hear," not "here, here."
6. "Orbs," when used to refer to someone's eyes. Super mega negative points for "shimmering blue orbs," or similar. If you're talking about an orb in fanfic, it had better be a DS9 story, and you'd better be talking about a mystical object from the Prophets that gives people visions. Okay, okay, in deference to OdoGoddess, one "orbs" per story. Use it wisely.
7. Redundancies. The phrase, "the reason is because," is taking years off my life. "It's because..." and "The reason is..." are both suitable replacements for that phrase (I'm not typing it again), and therein lies the problem. Redundancy begets wordiness, and it makes you sound like you aren't choosing your words carefully. Other common offenders include "he thought to himself" (exceptions granted for stories about telepaths) and "very unique" (either it's unlike anything else, or it's like something else-- there's no middle ground).
8. Homerian epithets should be used with caution. I know what you're trying to do with stuff like "the taller man," "the blue-eyed woman," and "the hornier Cardassian": slash creates problems with pronouns, and you're trying to differentiate among your characters. Once in a while, this kind of phrase is okay, especially if you're trying to conceal something about the character to whom you're referring. However, using a lot of them sounds goofy and also gets confusing; if you use multiple epithets for the same character, it starts to sound like there's an awful lot of guys in the room. It's okay to repeat proper names a lot, if you're trying to avoid confusing pronouns. Like "said," those tend to fade into the background.
11. Wanton contradiction of canon details. I mean, unless you're writing a radical AU. I'm not talking about the big stuff. For example, Dan and Casey share one office, one desk, and one computer. Cordelia's nickname is Cordy. So why am I reading so many Sports Night stories in which the boys each have their own desk, and so many Angel stories in which everyone's talking about someone named Delia?
12. Apostrophes are delicate beasts, so be careful to avoid mistreatment. They are useful for making possessives (Garak's shop, the vampires' teeth, Picard and Q's red hot monkey lovin') and for writing contractions (see #44 below). On the other hand, they are not useful for making plurals. Ever. Okay, with one exception: when making plurals of letters, as in "mind your p's and q's" or "no, really, guys, there are no y's in Troi's name." Other than that, a simple s, es, or ies will suffice. Really. Trust me.
14. Weird punctuation conventions for inner dialogue. {*{*{*{This looks really dumb, trust me.}*}*}*} I know of at least one mailing list archivist who is slowly going crazy because people use triangular brackets to mark inner dialogue, and they screw up the HTML. Try to work a character's thoughts into the narrative in such a way that you don't need to use ornate orthography. If you absolutely can't (and this is sometimes the case), use single quotes (apostrophes), single asterisks, underscore dashes (_these things_), or (if it's on a webpage) italics.
15. Works in progress. Do us all a favor and finish the damn thing before you post it. And while you're at it, run spellcheck and find a beta, preferably someone who is a better writer than you.
18. Misspelled character names. I'm slightly surprised that this problem even exists. I know that spell-checking software isn't so good with proper names, but nearly every TV show and film has an official site, or at least a comprehensive fan site, with a list of correctly-spelled character names. If you're enough of a fan to make up stories about the characters, then you're enough of a fan to get their names right. Here's a few to get you started: Elim Garak. Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. Natalie Hurley. Luka Kovac. Kira Nerys.
21. If you have to tell us in the headers whose POV it is, then there's a weakness in your story. Either change it to the third person, or strengthen your narrative voice so it's clear who's talking. Stories with POV deception are great-- that's not the issue here. If you want your readers to know who's talking, build that into your story, not into your headers.
22. Long, unwieldy chains of verbs. Some writers seem to think that using more words makes them sound more literate; in reality, it just makes them sound clunky and verbose. Doesn't "He started to move towards the bed" sound better as "He walked towards the bed"? Yeah, thought so. If you're Michael Stipe, you're allowed to get away with "I think I thought I saw you try," but you're not Michael Stipe, and you know it.
24. Due to. It's a perfectly good phrase for legal briefs, but it sounds stilted in fiction. And "due to" can always be replaced by the more natural "because of." The worst offenders in this category are those who use "due to" with the gerund: "Due to having to patrol, Buffy was often sleepy in class." Ew. Rephrase with "because" before I find a heavy, blunt object. "Because Buffy had to patrol, she was often sleepy in class." Ahh. Better.
25. Overediting. Wanting to fix one's grammar and mechanics is a good thing, but don't suck out all the style. This is especially a problem when it comes to dialogue, because very few people speak with perfect Strunk and White grammar. There are stories out there in which no one utters a contraction, and many or all of the characters are not Data. It's a good thing to occasionally-- occasionally--- start a sentence with a conjunction, or leave a sentence fragment, or use a colloquialism. Dangling prepositions and split infinitives often sound better than the alternative. If you know the rules of proper English, that gives you license to break them when style warrants it.
28. Gerunds that don't agree with their pronouns. Gerunds, otherwise known as -ing verbs, can behave like nouns, which makes them useful buggers. But for goodness' sake, people. Possessive plus gerund. "Spike could no longer put up with Xander's whining." The following would be wrong: "Spike could no longer put up with Xander whining." I mean, doesn't that sound off, now that you've read the correct sentence? You know it does.
30. "A lot" is always always always always always always always two words. Always.
32. Passive voice. English teachers tend to harp on this one, because it's easy to overuse. There are times in journalistic and scholarly writing when the passive voice is necessary, but there are very few such times in fiction. Sentences that use the active voice sound smoother and more direct: "Tara's toes were sucked by Willow" sounds like Willow is performing a medical procedure, while "Willow sucked Tara's toes" keeps us right in the action. It's also two words shorter; passive voice is almost always needlessly wordy.
34. "Out of character." As in, "Weaver was friendly in a way that was out of character for her." This phrase is a sign. It is a sign in the way that a Construction Ahead sign in Japan is a sign, in that it involves many arrows, flashing lights, and little old ladies in reflective vests waving glowsticks. If someone's behavior is "out of character" enough that you need to mention it, this is a problem. Why? Because it's out of character. Fidelity to characterization is important in fanfic; if your character is doing something "out of character," don't note it in the text, change the way the character behaves so that she is doing something in character. Besides, it's a clunky phrase. And no, "uncharacteristically" doesn't make it any better.
35. Ellipses. You know, those three little dots that show there's something missing, and make a sentence seem to trail off. Ellipses do have uses in fiction, especially in dialogue, but they should be used very sparingly. There are several writers around who use them at the end of nearly every sentence. This keeps their narrative from flowing naturally, as all their thoughts seem to float away into nothing... Sentences end. Let them. Limit yourself to one period per sentence.
(Silrana: Hehehe, I'm frequently guilty of this one.)
37. Really short paragraphs. I've read several stories lately in which the writer judged it necessary to start a new paragraph after each sentence (or sentence fragment) of narrative. I'm sure they were going for artistic and stark, but the result was more along the lines of choppy and repetitive. Every once in a while, a one- or two-sentence paragraph can drive home your point very sharply, and of course, you should start a new paragraph for every new line of dialogue. But overuse of very short paragraphs works a lot like ending every sentence with an exclamation point. Short paragraphs work as a form of emphasis, and if you use them too liberally, you end up not emphasizing much of anything at all.
(Silrana: On the flip side, incredibly long ones aren't any better.)
40. Sigh. Okay, kids, here we go. I was going to offer a whole detailed explanation of how to punctuate quotations correctly, but yeesh. I'm not a grammar manual, and I'm at the end of my rope. The short version: punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. New paragraph for each line of dialogue. Question marks and exclamation points don't turn into commas. Periods do, but only when they precede a tag that identifies the speaker. Sample sentence (distilled from the aforementioned deleted detailed explanation): "My shirt," Abby said, "looks good on you." I know it's complicated, but that's English.
41. Your unconventional grammar choices aren't creative license; they're bad grammar. There's quite a bit of leeway with this, of course: sentence fragments and comma splices can, in the right hands, be good writing. But one of the primary purposes of writing-- if not the primary purpose-- is communication, and if your mechanics are so bad or your word choices so strange that others can't understand them, you're not communicating. Also, any divergence from standard English usage should be a purposeful choice. If you use "gonna" because that's the word that you think your narrator would use, or you eschew quotation marks because you want to blur the distinction between thought and speech, then you've made a purposeful choice. It may or may not be a good choice, but at least you've thought about how your unconventional usage will affect the impact your story has on its readers. But using bad grammar because you can't be arsed, or because you think standard English looks funny on the page? Not cool, and not defensible.
44. They're. There. Their. It's. Its. Your. You're. Know them. Love them. Learn the difference.
(Silrana: I would also add- to, too, two. Weather, whether. Lose, loose.)
Let me repeat, these are quotes from a website, not my writing. If you would like to read the whole thing, the link is -
http://mosca.freeser...ic/witness.html
