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[Laufey]

 


The café was one of those cozy ones that serve everything from magnificent cakes, buns and ice cream, to hot meals, to sandwiches, to fifty different kinds of coffee (including really strange ones that are 99% candy) to beer, wine and assorted sticky drinks in all the colors of the rainbow.

It was also clean, free of smoke, and in possession of a self-playing piano, a stuffed Elder Orb that the kids loved using for a climbing toy and that was starting to look decidedly moth-eaten, and a dart board. Somebody had glued a life-sized portrait of a Drow ranger onto the dart board, and it was stuck full of darts, arrows, throwing daggers, and one very nasty-looking axe. The Drow seemed to squint a little, as if he was trying to look down at the arrow stuck up his nose.

The Eyeball Café also happened to have very comfortable couches, equally suited for sitting and for reclining in that slouching position so perfect for lazying about. A red-headed half-elf was currently occupying an entire couch, where she was sitting cross-legged, writing furiously on a scroll and now and then laughing quietly to herself. 'Let's see...' she murmured. 'A dirty old Prelate we know...to the ladies his 'squire' would show...He thought it a blimp...it was really a shrimp...And he doesn't know where it should go!' She grinned widely. 'Yeah! That should tell the old...'

At that moment a second woman more or less threw herself onto the couch, next to the half-elf, throwing her legs up onto the table where she kicked a few plates and glasses aside. This second woman was a silver-complexioned elf, with dark hair and an amused glitter in her eyes, and the fact that the vest she wore was more or less a complex arrangements of tiny bits of cloth held together with straps made a noisy ripple go through the male parts of the crowd at her passage. 'Hi, sis!' the elf said, high-fiving the seated half-elf. 'Been waiting long? I was gonna come right away, but then Korgan invited me to an upside-down-ale-drinking-contest, and then we had to put him to bed, and then the oven exploded.' She shook her head. 'That was Jan. Word of advice, don't *ever* let him cook turnip-pie for you. Anyway, that was when Rose decided to calm me down before I broke something and...I got delayed.' Her eyes turned momentarily dreamy. 'So, how have you been?'

"Well," the red-haired half-elf replied as she put down her scroll, "just peachy, I suppose. My parents-in-law are staying with us for the weekend. Though I don't understand why Elvira needs to bring twelve red robes and five evening gowns for a three day trip. Dekaras keeps telling me to humor her, but our home isn't that big, and her luggage consists of five giant suitcases and eight little ones."

"If you're screaming for space, Rini," the elf said while lounging back on the bench, extending both arms alongside the top of the couch, offered the crowd quite an impressive view, "you can always send them over to stay at my place. Plenty of room there. Just keep Dekaras away from the letterbox... Bad memories."

"Thanks for the offer, Laska," Rini replied with a chuckle, imagining Elvira living among the chaotic madness always present at Laska's mansion, "But I think that won't work out. I think we'd be hearing explosions coming from the temple district pretty darn soon..."

"Even more than usual?" Laska chuckled.

"A lot more..." Rini replied. At that moment, a goblin waiter came to their tables with a pitcher of black coffee. "Ah, our orders," the half-elf smiled. "I already ordered coffee for us just before you came in."

"Coffee?" Laska replied. "Hmm, well, okay. But I normally only drink coffee when I need to sober up."

"Trust me, you'll like it," Rini smiled.

"Miss?" the goblin said to Laska. "Could you please remove your boots from the table."

The elf grinned ferally and bent forward slightly. The male crowd swooned as Laska's vest strained to the point of bursting open and revealing to the world all that was inside. "Make me..." she whispered, challenging the goblin to make his move. And made his move he did... right back into the kitchen running fifty miles an hour.

"Well, now that that's out of the way," Laska said, taking a silver pocketflask from belt. "Lets make this coffee a little more interesting," she added and poured a little whiskey in the cup. "Better now. How about you..."

"I don't know," Rini replied. "I still have to ride a horse home, after all..."

"I'll call you a carriage..."

"Well, if you insist, just a tiny nip, then," Rini conceded, realizing Laska'd be trying to pour whiskey in her coffee for the rest of the evening if she refused. Laska nodded and started pouring.

"Whoa!" Rini chuckled. "I said a 'tiny nip' not 'half a flask'..."

"Oh, you're still growing..." Laska waved and kept pouring. In the end, Rini looked down on her coffee, now reeking with the smell of hard liquor. Glancing around, the clever half-elf found her escape.

"Hey!" Rini called. "Look at that party-cart in the corner!" she said while pointing at the opposite corner.

"Where?" Laska said, looking over her shoulder, "I don't see it..."

"No, no, the other corner," Rini said, while quickly pouring her spiked coffee in the small potted plant standing next to her couch.

"Oh, I see it," Laska smiled. "Dibs on the apple-pie..."

"Not if I order it first," Rini grinned as Laska turned back.

"Geez," Laska said as she regarded the plant next to Rini. "They'd better water the plants here more often..."

Rini glanced over her shoulder, and felt a little pang of guilt as the poor plant was slowly turning brown and lost all its leaves.

"So," Laska asked. "How's Eddie doing?"

"Oh, Eddie's doing just great!" the half-elf said, her golden eyes glittering with a mixture of amusement, exasperation and tenderness. "Would you know, the other day he came up with this Great Plan of conjuring cute and endearing pets that might appeal to children." She blushed faintly. "Just...thinking ahead, you know. Planning for the future. Anyway, he called up these little fuzzy furballs, with tiny eyes, cute little stubby legs and that made this 'meep' sound. We called them 'Trobbels.' Really cute. Actually, they should probably have been called 'Troubles'." She sighed and yammed a large piece of chocolate cake into her mouth. "You see," she explained once she was able to speak again, "there were both male and female Troubles. And they knew that. All too well."

"Ouch!" Laska said, grinning with amusement. "I think I can see where this is heading. How many did you wind up with?"

Rini sighed. "Not sure. They reproduced faster than we could count them. One hour after we had got the first pair, the walls were starting to creak..."

The elf was laughing so hard by now that she was slumped across the table. "Then what?" she asked.

"Then, Eddie thought that we should get rid of them by opening a portal into another plane. Which would all have been well and good, if the plane in question hadn't been the Abyss." Rini shuddered. "I got *quite* enough of the Abyss the first time around. Not the plane I want to have a window to in my living room."

"Too right," Laska said, looking grim. "They don't even have any decent ale there."

"So," the bard went on, "the Troubles were all sucked into the Abyss where they belonged, where they were promptly devoured by Demogorgon's second cousin, Britneygorgon. Man, was she a terrible singer! Our eardrums almost popped and we only managed to close the portal in the nick of time. Then we had a nice little stimulating fight about whose fault the whole thing was." Her smile turned dreamy. "And then we made up. I think that made me burst a muscle or three..." She winked at her elven sister. "Speaking of which, how is Rose?"

Now it was Laska's turn to sigh, which caused all sorts of interesting things to happen inside her miniscule vest, and caused a collective echo of sighs to emerge from the male customers of the café. "Oh, Rose is...Rose is just fine." She suddenly looked more serious. "It's funny...I never thought I would find somebody like her. Fun and games is all well and good, but with Rose...that's different. It's like...like it was meant to be, you know?"

"Mmmm..."

"Yeah, I guess you *would* know." Laska smiled. "The other day I came home, all dirty and bloody and sweaty and stuff, and with dragon goop all over me. Regular day, you might say. Rose was painting, this really beautiful painting of Risa and Vic, and she had this old smock on, and this little paint smudge on her nose and..." Her voice trailed off for a moment, and she smiled, a bright smile matched by that of her sister. "And she turned around and looked at me, dirty and gooey me, a complete mess, and I knew that she thought I was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Because...because I was *me*. You know?"

"Oh yeah..." Rini said. "I know that look..."

"And then," Laska said, giving her sister a naughty look, "we did our best to break the bed, of course."

"I do hope you took a bath before breaking your bed," Rini smirked. "The two of you are usually in a hurry to get there, and, as I recall, Lasalla was running out of clean sheets to put on your bed."

"Yeah, well," Laska actually blushed. "We started in the tub, actually..."

"Okay," Rini chuckled and took another bite from her chocolate pie. "That's a little more details than I wanted to know."

"Suit yourself," Laska grinned, once again draping herself over the couch as the male crowed went bug-eyed once more. "Our bed is solid oak. We'll bust it a bit every time, so it's a goal to work towards, actually... Say, weren't you working on a play when we last spoke?"

Rini's eyes lit up like a twin pair of candles. "Oh, yes," Rini said. "I'm making great progress... I've actually made up a title too..."

"Nice," Laska smiled, and shifted a little to take a small sip from her spiked coffee. "I hope there's not too much useless bollocks in it..."

"I know of your notoriously low tolerance for cheap romance plays, Laska," Rini chuckled and poured herself a new cup of non-spiked coffee. "In that case there's this new comedy troupe called Motley Cobra performing at the playhouse that you might be interested in. You might like my new play too. It's called 'Mirth of a Salesman', it's about this salesbeast named Stan, who meets this talking skull and together they... Hmmm, come to think of it, I'm going to have one hell of a time trying to find an actor to play the talking skull... I wonder if Kangaxx can act..." Rini said, putting her finger to her chin as she sat in her 'thinking pose'.

"Miss?" the trembling goblin once again approached Laska, this time to bring her her order of fresh apple pie.

"Thanks," Laska muttered and put down the apple pie. "BOOOOO!" she suddenly spoke, making the goblin run back to the kitchen, breaking the sound-barrier.

"That was a bit rude," Rini laughed.

"Don't worry," Laska grinned. "I'll leave him a big tip..."

"Any new tattoos?" Rini smirked.

"Nah, not yet," Laska smiled as she took a large bite from her apple-pie. "I'm thinking about having a new one done, though, one of a small red rose on the nape of my neck. Heh, it's a place Rose likes to kiss," Laska offered Rini a naughty grin. "What about you, Rini? Any plans to get a tattoo done?"

Rini laughed. "You ask me every time, Laska. And I always say 'no'..."

"Oh, come on!" Laska smirked. "Nothing says 'I love you' like a tattoo," she said, pointing at the tattooed rose surrounded by barbed wire located on the upper slope of her left breast. It was obvious that all the male eyes in the room had followed her finger pointing out the tattoo...

"Hmmm," Rini said, throwing her head back as she lounged on the couch. This time, it was her turn to be making the males in the room swoon. "I don't know. I don't think Eddie will react favorably. Not at first, at least. He sees me as the epitome of feminine perfection... Hmmm, maybe I'll have a small one done, some day. Still, he'd be a hypocrite. He has tattoos too, you know?"

"What?!" Laska chuckled and shot forward to lean on the table with both elbows. "Where?! You do realize you must share now, don't you?" the tattooed elf smirked.

"Well, he has intricate patterns of swirling colors," Rini started...

"Yes, yes, yes, where?" Laska pressed. "Oh! I bet it's... someplace naughty?" the elf raised her eyebrows playfully.

"...on the top of his head, actually..."

"Come again?"

"Just what I said!" Rini chuckled. "On the top of his head..."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Laska said. "So unless he shaves, they can't be seen?"

"Correct," Rini said. "It was a fling, I guess. Just like that," she chuckled, "hilariously horrible nose-ring!"

"But what's the point?!" Laska chuckled and slammed down the last of her spiked-coffee. "A tattoo is supposed to be seen!"

"Well, what about that blue dragon of yours?" Rini said, and pointed to the side of Laska's leather pants. The elf shifted, showing off the top of her biggest and most beloved tattoo : The blue dragon in flight, tattooed on her lower back, left side and upper left leg. "I gather you don't drop your pants and underwear for anyone who wants to see the whole thing?"

"Well, if they ask nicely," Laska smirked. "But now, the only person who gets to see it regularly is Rose. I love it when she, ahum, pets and kisses the dragon."

"Remember what I told you about sordid details?" Rini chuckled and downed a coffee.

"Tell you everything for possible use in a play?" Laska smirked.

"Exactly!" the half-elf laughed.

"So," Laska said, "the parents-in-law haven't managed to drive you batty yet, then?"

Rini shook her head, smiling. "It's no big problem now I know them better. After all, I have traveled quite a bit with Dekkie so at least I get on really well with *him* and..." She suddenly clasped her hand across her mouth, a look of mild horror in her golden eyes. "Oh gods. Laska, *promise* me you won't tell him that I mentioned that nickname in public!"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Laska said, looking suspiciously innocent and crossing her legs on purpose.

"Laska, I *mean* it!" The half-elf shuddered briefly. "I don't suppose he'd actually *kill* me - but I'm sure he would go all sarcastic on me. Much as I like him I can do without that, once he really gets going it's enough to give *Irenicus* a nervous breakdown."

"All right, all right!" Laska laughed, uncrossing her shapely legs. "I promise, sis. As fun as it would be to get back at him for that letterbox thing..."

"Actually," Rini remarked, "once I mentioned I was going to meet you he asked me if you were 'that pleasant elf who tried to punch me out'. Then he asked me to give you his regards. I think he rather likes you." Her grin turned feral. "Not romantically or anything, but you're still lucky you're a woman with steady companionship or Elvira might turn jealous. And as for her, we mostly get along, now that she knows that Eddie and I are an item for life. It's a good thing Eddie and I *are* soulmates, I think any woman who hurt her 'baby's' feelings would soon find herself a very small and surprised pile of ashes." She frowned thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, she and Vicky would probably get along really well. Like a house on fire, literally. We should introduce them." She absent-mindedly started picking the phony plant on the table to pieces with her nimble fingers.

Laska contemplated the compatibility of the Drow priestess and the Thayvian wizardess. "You know," she said, "I think you're right. The world as we know it may not survive the experience, but at least it'll be fun!" She reached a hand down below the table and tapped the unfortunate Goblin waiter on the shoulder as he furtively tried to clear away her plate. "Hey, squirt! I wasn't finished, you know!"

"Eeeeek!" the terrified waiter squealed, and scurried off like a frightened mouse. The two Bhaalspawn looked at each other.

"Say..." Rini said. "Does that noise remind you of somebody?"

Laska ground her teeth. "Don't remind me. I'd almost managed to forget her." Then she perked up again. "Speaking of friends and family, did I tell you that I'm taking a short trip to Evermeet next month?"

"No! Really?"

"Oh yes." Laska looked very pleased with herself. "Looks like they had to relax their rules a little. And Rose is going too, she's so thrilled about it she can barely sleep." The elf took another deep swig from her glass and chuckled. "Not that I *want* her to sleep all that much..."

The half-elf looked a little worried. "Won't the other elves cause trouble though? I mean, not all elves are like you, sis. I've met plenty of snooty ones."

"They might *try*," Laska said. "But they'll only try *once*." Her smile turned thin and dangerous. "Nobody insults Rose around me. Not if they want to keep all their insides on their insides..."

"Well, that goes without saying, of course," Rini grinned and took the last bite of her delicious chocolate cake, having saved the bit with the cherry for last.

"We'll be staying at my cousin's new cabin," Laska said. "It's located in the forest, very much near both the Grove of Corellon and the Sehanine Beach. He and his wife just moved in there and he told me we'd be welcome to stay with them, if we wanted to."

"Sounds perfect," Rini smiled. "But I sense a catch coming up."

"You'd be correct," Laska smirked. "They're... newly-weds."

"I see," Rini chuckled, gesturing the waiter to bring her a new slice of pie.

"Well, Rose and I can make plenty of noise ourselves, of course,"
the tattooed elf smirked briefly, "but the last time we were staying at Suldenesselar, our room was adjacent to theirs... And, well, passion demanded to be heard," Laska and Rini both shared a chuckled. "You'd think they'd make tree-houses with more than simple plaster-walls. Though maybe they just wanted to take revenge for the previous day, when we kept THEM up all night..."

"Err," Rini shook her head, so that her gorgeous red thresses flew over her shoulders, much to the delight of the male onlookers. "Elvira and Dekkie, well... they're rather quiet. I guess that was important to learn, but, well, the old rickety bed in our guest-room isn't... Seriously, I've tried oil, magic, but nothing worked! That bed just wasn't the same after Minsc and Jan had a jumping contest up there... and neither was the ceiling when Minsc won the contest..."

"Ouch," Laska chuckled and poured herself another coffee. Taking a few moments to spike the coffee, she leant back, once again offering the hopeful males a perfect view of her cleavage. "Reminds me of the time I accidentally mistook gunpowder for baking soda when Risa was making cookies for a school-fair... I believe the Amnian Legion now uses those cookies as tactical throwing weapons. All that fuss and it only blew up one teacher..."

"Say," Rini asked. "Reminds me of the instrument Jan made me once. He called it an 'electric harp'. Man, that thing had a wonderful sound, it could have been a real hit too! Too bad it wasn't waterproof."

"Kaboom?" Laska smirked.

"Kaboom..." Rini returned. "I'm just glad Jaheira's eyebrows grew back... and so is Jan."

"So, any new plans for your stage-career?" Laska asked. "Anything upcoming besides your new play?"

"Actually," Rini said, "I have a thing in mind. You know that Bhaalspawn gettogether thing in a little while? Meeting all our siblings and all?"

"Sure," Laska said. "Should make for a really nice party, that."

"Well, I've been asked to be one of the performers, and I've made up a really hot song-and-dance number." The half-elf arched a red eyebrow as she gave her sister a meaningful look. "And I mean *really* hot."

"Sounds great," Laska grinned. "Wanna borrow one of my trademark vests for stage clothes, is that it? It would suit you, at least if you redye it and put all sorts of sparkly stuff on it, the way you like it. Though Eddie would probably flip."

"I might do that - but that's not what I was thinking about." Rini winked at Laska, bending forward in a conspiratorial pose that created a stir in the café. "Actually, I was thinking about borrowing *you*. See, the song is a duet, and you'd be *great* for it! I'd do the playing, at least those parts that require solos the orchestra can't handle, we both sing, and then I toss my harp into the audience and we both join in a wild and ecstatic dance! Sounds great, don't you think?"

Laska looked a little stunned. "Me?"

"Sure! You have great stage presence." The bard paused dramatically for a moment. "You know...we could do a stage dive as well!"

"Hmmm...might be fun."

"There'll be fame and glory."

"Sounds promising."

"*And* free drinks for all performers, all evening."

Laska's face split in a huge smile. "Why didn't you say so at once? I'm IN! Is the song finished yet?"

"Oh yes. Here, I'll hum it to you, and then we can do a practise run. Liven this place up a little, what do you say?"

Laska looked around the calm and sleepy café, with its peaceful and mostly well-behaved customers. "Sis," she said, "I'd say that's *exactly* what this place needs."

A short while later the elf and the half-elf sprang onto the stage, ignoring the timid protests of the goblin waiter. "Here goes," Rini said, pulling out her harp and striking a chord. It sounded much more powerful than it should have, in fact it made the plates and glasses quiver gently on the tables. "Jan's work," the half-elf mouthed to her sister, who nodded with complete understanding. And then the show began.

"Whoa, look here!" Laska said as she grasped one of the metal bars at the side of the stage. "I can use this pole for our dance! Here," she said and jumped at the pole, just catching it with her left hand and inside of her left knee. Thrusting her chest forward, she used her momentum to keep herself twirling around the pole at high speed.

Several men in the audience fainted...

"Errr, Laska?" Rini suggested. "That's not the kind of dance I was talking about."

"Hey, check this out," Laska said, and, while twirling, shot her legs upward, grasping the metal bar between her thighs and hung from the bar upside down.

"Laska!" Rini challenged and crossed her arms. "Stop doing that before the patrons here start putting coins in your vest."

"Ack, that's cold!" the tattooed elf grimaced and let herself drop so that she landed on her feet.

"Okay, shall we begin?" Rini said and removed her jacket, revealing a nice blue sleeveless shirt, again making the male element in the audience swoon and the female element jealous. Immediately, Rini took out her harp and raked her hand across it. Immediately, an enormously loud tone emerged from the seemingly delicate instrument, creating an almost visible soundwave as it passed through the entire café, shattering every piece of glass that came in its path.

"Here we go!" Rini said and started singing in her usual hauntingly beautiful voice. The song started slow, first telling the tale of the first day of adventure, continuing to the horrors of dungeons, the sweetness of romance found in unlikely places, the height of battle and the welcoming home at Adventure's End, to the refrain, where both elf and half-elf sang an ode to the Life :

"Bammstein, Bammstein, True Living is our goal,
Bammstein, Bammstein, Woe is our foe,
Bammstein, Bammstein, This be our battlecry,
Bammstein, Bammstein, Never we will die!"

Then, they grinned and started their feral dance, writhing their bodies at the beat of their tune, flailing theirs arms in the air, allowing their heads to bang to the music, sending both long red and long dark thresses whirling freely as if in a storm. Both ladies circled each other as if two wild animals, moving as rhythmically as dancers on the prowl. Suddenly, without warning, they seemingly attacked head-on, grasping each other's hands, putting the toes of their boots together before leaning backwards again.

The audience looked stunned... then exploded in a cacophony of cheers, whistles, applause and the occasional offer of marriage.

Both ladies grinned at each other for a moment... "STAGE DIVE!" they shouted, and ran off the podium, into the waiting arms of the gathered audience. Immediately, both ladies noticed some members of the crowd didn't exactly only grasp for their limbs, as was normal at a stage-dive.

"Dammit!" Laska shouted as she was finally put down.

"What is it?" Rini giggled, she was still being carried around by the crowd.

"I lost my vest in there!"

As Rini was put down, she noticed many eyes were directed at the now topless elf. Laska however, did not seem to care much about being half naked, but Rini did chuckle at the wife in the corner telling her husband to 'stop having a heart-attack this INSTANCE!'.

"Ah, here it is," Laska said, slung the vest on her back and pulled it over her chest, retying the leather straps.

"Well," Rini smiled as they returned to their table. "I gather our performance was a great success."

"Yeah," Laska grinned. "Hey, do you think they'll let us perform it at Kaelis' wedding?"

"I don't see why not..."

"Maybe we can do some more ones!" Laska suggested, clearly excited about the idea. "How about some really naughty ones?"

Rini nodded. "Sure thing! We can save those for last, when the kiddies have all gone to bed." She chuckled. "Though double meanings can be even more fun. Particularly if somebody gets all worked up and prissy about them, like poor Ano does."

"Anomen?" Laska laughed heartily. "Would he even get a double meaning if it punched him in the nose?"

"Oh, I'm quite fond of Ano, you know. And he's much more relaxed these days, what with everything that's happened. But sometimes he still relapses into rigidity, and it's *so* much fun teasing him a little when he gets like that. He can be so very concerned about what's 'proper'...is that the way to have fun, I ask you? To live your life according to what other people might think?"

Both the elf and the half-elf looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads.

"Nah."

"Definitely not."

"Tell you what," Laska said, "you should try getting him really drunk. That will make him loosen up."

"Could be...but I don't think it'd work. He doesn't like getting drunk, what with his father and all."

Laska nodded. "I guess we can both relate to *that*. Speaking of lousy fathers, how did *you* use to cope with Dear Daddy?"

Rini took another sip of her coffee, looking down into the mug for a moment. "Well, Softy was a great help of course. And then I discovered this other trick. Turns out that Bhaal *really* hated dwarven music, and I'd learnt a tune or two from Yeslick. So sometimes I could get 'Daddy' to go away by singing inside my head. Particularly the 'Bags of Gold' song. That would sure make him tuck his tail between his legs and run for the hills. How about you?"

"Usually making graphic descriptions of what I would do to his Avatar if he ever *was* resurrected worked." Laska once again lazily stuck her legs onto the table, stretching. "I never would have known that a dead God of Murder could be that squeamish...once I'd hardly even got started before he went all PUKE, BARF, HURL inside my head. Now *that* was gross! He was practically crying too."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. Especially when I added the bit about making him listen to every Jansen story ever told..."

"So," Laska said, sitting back on the couch and putting her boots up on the table, "should we put in some dirty jokes, limericks and songs on our repertoire?"

"I don't know," Rini replied thoughtfully. "It's not that you don't have a sense of humor, but it... well, just sucks when you're trying..."

"What do you mean?!" Laska chuckled. "So, should we tell them what really goes on at those penal colonies? Get it? Penal colonies?"

"Very, very, funny," Rini replied dryly. "Please don't..."

"Okay!" Laska smiled and bent forward. "So this guy walks into a brothel with a chicken under his arm and..."

"Eeeerrrr," Rini muttered, wanting to let Laska down easy. "Say... Don't you think Rose might be upset if you make jokes about that?"

To Rini's relief, a show of genuine concern worked. The half-elf was certain Rose would not be too happy if Laska started telling jokes like that in front of an audience.

Laska sighed. "You're right, of course," she sat back again. "Rose doesn't like to be reminded of that part of her life, after all. Come to think of it, that joke wasn't to funny either... HEY! I just got a fun idea! What if we goad Dekaras on stage and put him in front of a karaoke machine?"

Rini grimaced. Oh, what he would DO to her if she and Laska would go through with that. Though it was a priceless mental image to see Dekkie on stage singing 'I'm so exited, and I just can't hide it...'. She shook it off before she would burst into a staccato of giggles.

"HEY!" Laska shouted at the goblin waiter. "Get over here with that pie, or I'll stuff a broom up your belt and use your mouth as a vacuum-cleaner to clear off this dusty floor!"

"Hah!" Rini chuckled and sat back herself. "Now that was funny!"

"What was?" Laska asked. Rini put her boots on the table now too, and both sisters sat leaning back on the couch, enjoying a moment of relative rest.

"You know?" Rini said. "Eddie tried that demon-summoning thing again..."

"Again?!" Laska chuckled. "Doesn't he ever learn? He lost all his hair last time when that Baldymon creature showed up."

"Don't remind me," Rini chuckled. "I'm glad he left before he took my hair as well. Hair is very important to a performing bard... But, no, he summoned a Glabrezu this time... It was his turn to do the dishes, and he didn't feel like it..."

"Oh, dear gods..."

"Yes," Rini replied. "That Glabrezu was none too happy about the whole thing. Imagine an twelve feet towering demon... with his arms in the washing-up liquid. Honestly, imagine Edwin doing an odd-job on the house. It's not at all like the time I summoned those Nishruu's to fix the roof."

"No, not at all," Laska replied.

"So, you looking forward to the big party at Kaelis'?" Rini smirked...

"Oh sure!" Laska said. "I think we're going to have a great time. Lots of food, ale, dancing, ale, meeting the family, ale, party games, ale, food fights, ale...did I forget something?"

"Ale?" Rini said with a small grin.

"Oh yes. That. Think we can talk Keldorn into dancing on the table with us? I'd *love* to see that."

The half-elf laughed. "We should definitely try. Did you know that he was quite the wild young thing in his youth?"

"Keldorn?" Laska snorted. "Now you *must* be kidding me."

"No, no, it's true! He'd go partying at something he called the 'Y.P.T.A.', he told me himself."

Laska snorted so loudly she inhaled some of her spiked coffee, and it took several minutes of backpounding from her sister before she was able to speak again. "The...the Y.P.T.A? Don't you know what that *stands* for, sis?"

"No?"

"It's the Young Paladin's Tormite Association."

"Oh." Rini's face fell a little. "Not exactly wild parties then?"

"More like dry biscuits, holy chanting and some smiting if they *really* wanted to go all the way."

"Oh. Well, at least I don't think he'd go into chastising. Now that's *gross*!"

Laska nodded sagely. "You said it. Particularly when armor polish comes into it. So, let's put Keldorn down for the table dance, then."

"Right. But we should probably wait until *after* dessert. Wouldn't want to ruin Kaelis' wedding cake..."

"Ooooh," Laska's eyes grew wide, "cake! We had some fun with cake back in Suldeneselar! The story of how a big elven victory celebration turned into a massive food-fight! I'll have to tell you sometimes... Hey!" her eyes lit up, "maybe, when we get to Kaelis' wedding, we should..."

"Errr, no," Rini replied resolutely. "I think we should safe those for our enemies, remember? Like the blonde disaster?"

"Oh, Ellesime!" Laska chuckled. "Well, most of the food that was thrown DID end up in her hair... Including the Pork Flambee... Still on fire at the time..."

"Oh, now THAT I would have loved to see!" Rini grinned.

"Just image," Laska said, "a shrill shrieking blonde elf running around yelling that she's on fire and finally sticks her head into a bowl of punch... which I had spiked liberally with Old Whiskey..."

"You didn't!" Rini laughed.

"WHHHOOOOOSSHHHH!" Laska exclaimed, making a large gesture with her arms.

"Naked and hairless?" Rini winked.

"Oh, yeah... speaking of food," Laska muttered. "I like very much that Lasalla is around... Good food on the table at all times, while we are all such lousy cooks. Gods, she's a godsend..."

"That reminds me," Rini smiled. "Does your offer of Eddie and I coming to dinner at your place still stand?"

"Sure?" Laska said, but then her eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Well," Rini's eyes sparkled slightly. "It's quite difficult to believe how lousy a chef Eddie really is. Its amazing how a wizard, as big as his ego already is, who can carefully weigh different spell-components, and who can cast the most complicated spells, can have trouble trying to cook an egg..."

"He blew up the kitchen, didn't he?"

"Yep," Rini sighed. "I don't know how he pulled it off, but the entire kitchen burned out and the egg which he tried to cook still had its shell unbroken..."

"Sure!" Laska said. "Say no more!"

"Would you?" Rini smiled. "It would mean Elvira and Dekaras will join us too..."

"I'll make sure Jan is out the door," Laska grinned. "Come on, let's head to my house immediately, so you can tell Lasalla what your parents-in-law like to eat."

The half-elf smiled and reached for her pouch, putting the coins for her coffee and pie on the table, including a tip of the scared goblin waiter. Laska grinned and did the same, leaving a small money-pouch behind, hoping it would be enough to pay for the extensive therapy the goblin would need. Together, both sisters stepped out of the partially destroyed café.