I needed a break from all the serious, angsty stuff I've been writing, so before I start part 2 of Pocketful of Posies, here's the outtakes from Aulava and Tiiro. I've really enjoyed writing them!
Cheers from Fantysm!
---------
[Director]
Aulava: You're not going to pull that trick on me, are you? Please. I know every one in the book.
Tiiro: I’m not . . .
*Tiiro falls. There is a muffled thump, then a plaintive 'ow.' Aulava starts laughing.*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava & Tiiro: (removing their hoods)
*They burst out laughing*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava: (reading from cue board off camera)You illithid mongrel! Do you suck people's intelligence out because you need the brains, or because you (breaks off with a snort of laughter)! I can't say that!
*Tiiro turns, sees the line, and starts laughing*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava: Pirate's . . . Sir, I still can't figure out how there can be such a thing as pirate's honor! It goes against being a pirate, doesn't it?
*Director opens his mouth to yell at her, but the secretary comes in holding the phone*
Secretary: Launcen, your wife's on the phone.
Launcen: (Taking the phone) Rosemary, I'm kind of in the middle . . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE DOG HAD PUPPIES?! Well, okay . . . no, I'm fine . . . no, I don't think that would be . . . YOU DID WHAT?! HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?! Oh. Well, if the drapes look good . . . WHAT COLOR?! THE DRAPES ARE ORANGE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
[Director]
---
[Director]
Launcen: And I should have married you sooner. Then I would have gotten your wealth and the pleasure of killing you. Excuse me, my dearest fiancé, if I don't weep over your death. I'll be too busy counting the coins of your soon-to-be beggar family. Any regrets, corsair? Yes, I know your little secret. But the real question is, does your lover? (Gets a frightened look on his face and shakes his head vigorously) I can't do it, I can't!
[Director]
---
[Director]
Tiiro: And this . . . this is for you. (Slams club into Launcen's head, Launcen falls into the tank of water being used to film the Sea of Swords)
Launcen: (sputtering) I can't swim!
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava: Knock-knock.
Director: (sighs disgustedly) Who's there?
Aulava: Dwayne.
Director: (rolls eyes) Dwayne who?
Launcen: Dwayne the tank, I'm dwowning!
*muffled laughter backstage*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Tiiro: If anything, it's better that you've told me.
Aulava: (looks enraged, sits up, and punches Tiiro) I resent that!
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava: You want me to WHAT?!
Director: Kiss him!
Aulava: I can't do that! That's disgusting!
Director: You two are supposed to be passionately in love, and you think KISSING him is disgusting?!
Aulava & Tiiro: (nod and turn slightly green)
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava & Tiiro: (kissing . . . and kissing . . . and kissing . . .)
Director: Okay, what's going on?! You two are up to something!
Aulava & Tiiro: (devilish grins)
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava & Tiiro: (kissing . . . and more kissing . . .)
Director: (looks slightly sick) Alright, that's enough. I think we're good!
Aulava & Tiiro: (smirks) Nope. Hey, prop people! We need more chocolate over here!
[Director]
---
[Director]
Aulava: Oh, it is (evil grin). What's brown and kinda sticky?
Director: (looks at her suspiciously) Chocolate?
Aulava: (shakes head) A stick!
*roars of laughter backstage*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Lord Starellon: AULAVA . . . err . . . what's your middle name again?
Aulava: Felicia.
Lord Starellon: Oh, yes. That's it. AULAVA FELICIA STARELLON. WHAT IN THE ABYSS ARE YOU DOING?! Err . . . I mean . . . was it the Abyss or the Nine Hells?
[Director]
---
[Director]
Maunu: HEY! LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S THE --- (keels over, puts his head on the table and starts snoring)
[Director]
---
[Director]
Maunu: Knock-knock.
Director: Aulava put you up to this, didn't she?
Maunu: (more insistantly) Knock-knock.
Director: (sighs) I know she put you up to this. What's she paying you with, Evermead? Firewine? Luskan brandy? Look, we don't have time for this.
Maunu: KNOCK-KNOCK!
Director: (really pissed-off by now) FINE! WHO'S THERE?
Maunu: Oswald.
Director: Why me? Why? Kelemvor, Tyr, Helm, Bane, Cyric, Talos, any of you! Whoever's listening, kill me now, would you?
Maunu: (prompting) Oswald.
Director: As long as it isn't that idiot gnome Fiddlebender who crashed his airship into my grandmother's home up in Targos. Hmph. Oswald who?
Maunu: (Cheshire cat grin) Oswald my gum.
*snickers backstage*
[Director]
---
[Director]
Director: And . . . action! (Whispers) Psst . . . what's taking so long, Jan?
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: (shouts) HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?! YES, YOU!
*long pause*
Director: (loud whisper) JAN!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: (shouting) ARE YOU DEAF?! YES, YOU! Ah, screw this! CUT! We're doing the Jansen story over!
*moans backstage*
Director: SHUT UP!
---
[Director]
Aulava: Yeah. Father said he can't keep it quiet any longer. Don't know what the fuss is about, though . . . all we did was get mad at each other . . .
Tiiro: . . . meet each other at midnight . . .
Aulava: . . . go on a hayride . . .
Tiiro: . . . get abducted by pirates . . .
Aulava: . . . kill my fiancé . . .
*Launcen runs across the stage*
Launcen: I'm not dead! I'm not!
*Aulava and Tiiro ignore him*
Tiiro: . . . kiss each other . . . (snorts, starts laughing. Aulava follows)
[Director]
---
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director]
Aulava and Tiiro: The Outtakes
Started by
Guest_Fantysm_*
, Dec 02 2002 04:56 AM
9 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_Hunter_*
Guest_Hunter_*
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Posted 02 December 2002 - 05:40 AM
I needed a break from all the serious, angsty stuff I've been writing, so before I start part 2 of Pocketful of Posies, here's the outtakes from Aulava and Tiiro. I've really enjoyed writing them!
Absolutely hilarious.
Especially the comment about fiddlebender, i'm positive that he nust be related to jan. (and i'm sure that it's the same person that was the woice for both gnomes)Hunter
#3
Guest_Winski Perorate_*
Guest_Winski Perorate_*
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Posted 02 December 2002 - 08:44 AM
[Director]
Aulava: Pirate's . . . Sir, I still can't figure out how there can be such a thing as pirate's honor! It goes against being a pirate, doesn't it?
*Director opens his mouth to yell at her, but the secretary comes in holding the phone*
Secretary: Launcen, your wife's on the phone.
Launcen: (Taking the phone) Rosemary, I'm kind of in the middle . . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE DOG HAD PUPPIES?! Well, okay . . . no, I'm fine . . . no, I don't think that would be . . . YOU DID WHAT?! HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?! Oh. Well, if the drapes look good . . . WHAT COLOR?! THE DRAPES ARE ORANGE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
[Director]
My sympathies for the poor director. And Aulava, nearly any group of individuals who identify themselves as a member of the said group can have a honor code.
Director: Why, thank you, Aulava. How very kind of . . . HEY! GET THIS RODENT OFF OF ME!
Minsc: DON'T HURT BOO!
Aulava: Thanks Minsc!
Minsc: No problem! Minsc and Boo are always happy to help kick the butts of evil directors!] [/i]
Oh, it is the insane ranger and his rodent. How did he get here?
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director]
Remind me to avoid projects where you will have to supervise and direct teenagers.
#5
Guest_Silver_*
Guest_Silver_*
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Posted 02 December 2002 - 06:30 PM
[quote]
[Director]
Tiiro: And this . . . this is for you. (Slams club into Launcen's head, Launcen falls into the tank of water being used to film the Sea of Swords)
Launcen: (sputtering) I can't swim!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
*laughs* Oh dear...
[Director][/i]
Lord Starellon: AULAVA . . . err . . . what's your middle name again?
Aulava: Felicia.
Lord Starellon: Oh, yes. That's it. AULAVA FELICIA STARELLON. WHAT IN THE ABYSS ARE YOU DOING?! Err . . . I mean . . . was it the Abyss or the Nine Hells?
[Director]
[/quote]
Yay! It's Minsc and Boo!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Yeah. Father said he can't keep it quiet any longer. Don't know what the fuss is about, though . . . all we did was get mad at each other . . .
Tiiro: . . . meet each other at midnight . . .
Aulava: . . . go on a hayride . . .
Tiiro: . . . get abducted by pirates . . .
Aulava: . . . kill my fiancé . . .
*Launcen runs across the stage*
Launcen: I'm not dead! I'm not!
*Aulava and Tiiro ignore him*
Tiiro: . . . kiss each other . . . (snorts, starts laughing. Aulava follows)
[Director]
[/quote]
*laughs* I loved this one.
[quote]
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director][/quote]
That poor director. *laughs evilly* I liked these, they were funny.
Silver
[Director]
Tiiro: And this . . . this is for you. (Slams club into Launcen's head, Launcen falls into the tank of water being used to film the Sea of Swords)
Launcen: (sputtering) I can't swim!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
*laughs* Oh dear...
[Director][/i]
Lord Starellon: AULAVA . . . err . . . what's your middle name again?
Aulava: Felicia.
Lord Starellon: Oh, yes. That's it. AULAVA FELICIA STARELLON. WHAT IN THE ABYSS ARE YOU DOING?! Err . . . I mean . . . was it the Abyss or the Nine Hells?
[Director]
[/quote]
Yay! It's Minsc and Boo!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Yeah. Father said he can't keep it quiet any longer. Don't know what the fuss is about, though . . . all we did was get mad at each other . . .
Tiiro: . . . meet each other at midnight . . .
Aulava: . . . go on a hayride . . .
Tiiro: . . . get abducted by pirates . . .
Aulava: . . . kill my fiancé . . .
*Launcen runs across the stage*
Launcen: I'm not dead! I'm not!
*Aulava and Tiiro ignore him*
Tiiro: . . . kiss each other . . . (snorts, starts laughing. Aulava follows)
[Director]
[/quote]
*laughs* I loved this one.
[quote]
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director][/quote]
That poor director. *laughs evilly* I liked these, they were funny.
Silver
#7
Weyoun
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- Members
- 11272 posts
Transcendant
Posted 02 December 2002 - 11:08 PM
[Director]
Aulava: You're not going to pull that trick on me, are you? Please. I know every one in the book.
Tiiro: I’m not . . .
*Tiiro falls. There is a muffled thump, then a plaintive 'ow.' Aulava starts laughing.*
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! Sounds bloody painful.
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: (reading from cue board off camera)You illithid mongrel! Do you suck people's intelligence out because you need the brains, or because you (breaks off with a snort of laughter)! I can't say that!
*Tiiro turns, sees the line, and starts laughing*
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! 'Tis most unsavoury!
[quote]
---
[/quote]
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Pirate's . . . Sir, I still can't figure out how there can be such a thing as pirate's honor! It goes against being a pirate, doesn't it?
*Director opens his mouth to yell at her, but the secretary comes in holding the phone*
Secretary: Launcen, your wife's on the phone.
Launcen: (Taking the phone) Rosemary, I'm kind of in the middle . . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE DOG HAD PUPPIES?! Well, okay . . . no, I'm fine . . . no, I don't think that would be . . . YOU DID WHAT?! HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?! Oh. Well, if the drapes look good . . . WHAT COLOR?! THE DRAPES ARE ORANGE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
[Director]
[/quote]
ROTFL! You need a new cast!
[quote]
[Director]
Tiiro: And this . . . this is for you. (Slams club into Launcen's head, Launcen falls into the tank of water being used to film the Sea of Swords)
Launcen: (sputtering) I can't swim!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
ROTFL!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Knock-knock.
Director: (sighs disgustedly) Who's there?
Aulava: Dwayne.
Director: (rolls eyes) Dwayne who?
Launcen: Dwayne the tank, I'm dwowning!
*muffled laughter backstage*
[Director]
[/quote]
They did! Too bad!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: You want me to WHAT?!
Director: Kiss him!
Aulava: I can't do that! That's disgusting!
Director: You two are supposed to be passionately in love, and you think KISSING him is disgusting?!
Aulava & Tiiro: (nod and turn slightly green)
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! That would kind of defeat the perpose of kissing, won't it?
[quote]
---
[Director]
Aulava & Tiiro: (kissing . . . and more kissing . . .)
Director: (looks slightly sick) Alright, that's enough. I think we're good!
Aulava & Tiiro: (smirks) Nope. Hey, prop people! We need more chocolate over here!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
What's this advil stuff you keep mentioning?
[quote]
[Director]
Maunu: HEY! LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S THE --- (keels over, puts his head on the table and starts snoring)
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! The production from hell! That direction must sure be hating life right now!
[quote]
[Director]
Director: And . . . action! (Whispers) Psst . . . what's taking so long, Jan?
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: (shouts) HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?! YES, YOU!
*long pause*
Director: (loud whisper) JAN!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: (shouting) ARE YOU DEAF?! YES, YOU! Ah, screw this! CUT! We're doing the Jansen story over!
*moans backstage*
Director: SHUT UP!
[/quote]
ROTFL! Just imagine what the crew of 'The Osbornes' must be going through.
[quote]
---
[/quote]
[quote]
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director][/quote]
LOL! Hilarous!
---Weyoun
Aulava: You're not going to pull that trick on me, are you? Please. I know every one in the book.
Tiiro: I’m not . . .
*Tiiro falls. There is a muffled thump, then a plaintive 'ow.' Aulava starts laughing.*
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! Sounds bloody painful.
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: (reading from cue board off camera)You illithid mongrel! Do you suck people's intelligence out because you need the brains, or because you (breaks off with a snort of laughter)! I can't say that!
*Tiiro turns, sees the line, and starts laughing*
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! 'Tis most unsavoury!
[quote]
---
[/quote]
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Pirate's . . . Sir, I still can't figure out how there can be such a thing as pirate's honor! It goes against being a pirate, doesn't it?
*Director opens his mouth to yell at her, but the secretary comes in holding the phone*
Secretary: Launcen, your wife's on the phone.
Launcen: (Taking the phone) Rosemary, I'm kind of in the middle . . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE DOG HAD PUPPIES?! Well, okay . . . no, I'm fine . . . no, I don't think that would be . . . YOU DID WHAT?! HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?! Oh. Well, if the drapes look good . . . WHAT COLOR?! THE DRAPES ARE ORANGE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
[Director]
[/quote]
ROTFL! You need a new cast!
[quote]
[Director]
Tiiro: And this . . . this is for you. (Slams club into Launcen's head, Launcen falls into the tank of water being used to film the Sea of Swords)
Launcen: (sputtering) I can't swim!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
ROTFL!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: Knock-knock.
Director: (sighs disgustedly) Who's there?
Aulava: Dwayne.
Director: (rolls eyes) Dwayne who?
Launcen: Dwayne the tank, I'm dwowning!
*muffled laughter backstage*
[Director]
[/quote]
They did! Too bad!
[quote]
[Director]
Aulava: You want me to WHAT?!
Director: Kiss him!
Aulava: I can't do that! That's disgusting!
Director: You two are supposed to be passionately in love, and you think KISSING him is disgusting?!
Aulava & Tiiro: (nod and turn slightly green)
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! That would kind of defeat the perpose of kissing, won't it?
[quote]
---
[Director]
Aulava & Tiiro: (kissing . . . and more kissing . . .)
Director: (looks slightly sick) Alright, that's enough. I think we're good!
Aulava & Tiiro: (smirks) Nope. Hey, prop people! We need more chocolate over here!
[Director]
---
[/quote]
What's this advil stuff you keep mentioning?
[quote]
[Director]
Maunu: HEY! LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S THE --- (keels over, puts his head on the table and starts snoring)
[Director]
[/quote]
LOL! The production from hell! That direction must sure be hating life right now!
[quote]
[Director]
Director: And . . . action! (Whispers) Psst . . . what's taking so long, Jan?
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Me?
Director: (shouts) HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?! YES, YOU!
*long pause*
Director: (loud whisper) JAN!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: Yes!
Jan: Now?
Director: (shouting) ARE YOU DEAF?! YES, YOU! Ah, screw this! CUT! We're doing the Jansen story over!
*moans backstage*
Director: SHUT UP!
[/quote]
ROTFL! Just imagine what the crew of 'The Osbornes' must be going through.
[quote]
---
[/quote]
[quote]
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director][/quote]
LOL! Hilarous!
---Weyoun
#8
Guest_Strange_Girl_*
Guest_Strange_Girl_*
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Posted 03 December 2002 - 09:38 PM
[Director]
*The actors have formed a line on the stage and are singing loudly and raucously while doing a chorus line routine.*
[Director]
ROTFL
I bet that poor director will need to go on an Advil cure after an ordeal like that 
S_G
#10
Guest_Rose of Jericho_*
Guest_Rose of Jericho_*
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Posted 05 December 2002 - 12:28 AM
**snicker** OK, that was a nice little break. I enjoy watching fantasy and reality merge like that. Too funny.
By the way, "What's brown and sticky?" is my new favorite joke. And, in a worldwide study to discover the funniest joke, that was was voted least funny.
You can see the top joke at
http://www.laughlab.co.uk/winner.html
Rose of Jericho
By the way, "What's brown and sticky?" is my new favorite joke. And, in a worldwide study to discover the funniest joke, that was was voted least funny.
You can see the top joke at
http://www.laughlab.co.uk/winner.html
Rose of Jericho
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