Outakes and Final Thoughts

So there you have it. A long dang way to go for a punch line, but the ending I was going for all along. It was something I felt only a solo player could do, cause if he goes with a party, he would feel obligated to get them out. But by himself, he could just stay there forever. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this tale. It may have ended a little out of character, but realize that two of my favorite movies are Monty Python’s Holy Grail, and Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles.

[Roll Credits while the following outtakes play to Van Halen’s ‘Dreams’. Hey, if it was good enough for the Blue Angels, it’s good enough for me. And we are ‘Flying Solo’.]

**********

“Your sister now lies dead, destroyed by her own corruption. You shall now join her!”

Sholin shot forward faster than he’d ever commanded his boots of speed before. Racing down the tree limb, he… tripped and crashed and rolled down to the feet of Irenicus.

“Well, shall I slay you now, or slay you later.” Irenicus said with a laugh, bending over the embarrassed ranger.

[Director]

**********

“Damn you, Child of Bhaal! You shall meet a fate worse than death! ‘I said’… meet a fate worse than death! ‘Now what?’ ” Irenicus turned around to see Imoen trying to make the bears attack. She was pulling on one’s head trying to make it go down the limb.

“Sorry, there’s some honey in the Tree, and they keep wandering off.”

[Director]

**********

Imoen lay on the bed screaming and Jaheira was doing her best to hold her down when the guard charged in and… ran smack into Jaheira and knocked her on the floor. Jaheira started to laugh and rolled over. Imoen also burst out in laughter.

[Director]

“I’m sorry,” the embarrassed guard says while trying to contain his laughter. He held his hand out to help the druid up.

“Next time, with just a little less vigor,” Jaheira stammered out between chuckles.

**********

Once more, Imoen found herself in the midst of a battle about to be lost.

The fight continued on until… the fight continued on until…

[Director]

The fight continued on until…

[Director]

All in the room turned to the darkened corner of the room where Linvail could barely be seen banging the Rift Device in his hand. He looked up. “Sorry guys. The batteries must be dead.”

[Director]

**********

“I can never stop loving *snicker* you, Imoen,” Imoen burst out into laughter and Sholin followed in suit, turning away to try to contain his laughter.

[Director]

Sholin looked away unable to contain his laughter either. Imoen looked up, still laughing. “I’m sorry, but he started it!” she managed to get out, pointing a finger at Sholin, then fell off the log.

**********

“Please accept this gift. A last token of my strength and appreciation, and the only thing I have to repay you with.”

The avatar approached Sholin and held out his hand with pointed finger. As it touched Sholin’s forehead, a yellow light appeared between the two… and exploded, leaving Sholin with a dumbfounded look on his face and charcoal burns all over his body.

[Director]

“Heal him, yes, yes… please just one more chance. I’ve got it now… heal, not fry. Ok, ok, I can do this.”

[Director (putting head in hand): Goddamn gods. You’d think just one of them could remember a line.]

*********

[Director]

“No, Joneleth. You shall not.” Ellesime emerged from her cage to confront her captor and lost love.

“Who…? Ellesime?”

“Yes it is I, your Queen. Twice now, you have attempted this sacrilege and nearly destroyed us all. You will not do this again, Joneleth.”

“Do not call me that! I lost all right to that name when the Seldarine stripped me of everything that was elven, as you well know!!

“And what shall I call you instead? ‘Irenicus’? ‘Shattered One’? Yes… it was a terrible punishment. But you violated everything we hold dear. You nearly destroyed us all! And for what? Power? Is that all you exist for now, Jon?”

“It is all I have now, Ellisime. There is nothing else beyond my revenge. Revenge for what you did to me, what the Seldarine did to me!”

“And your revenge has poisoned your heart. The Tree touched you once, long ago. Do you remember nothing of it? Is there nothing in your heart that remembers love? Is there nothing in you that remembers our love? What we once shared before this obsession doomed you?”

“I… I do not remember your love Ellesime. I have tried to. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory. But it is gone… a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. The Seldarine took that from me too. I look upon you and I feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with the others. Once my thirst for power was everything. And now I hunger for only revenge. And I WILL HAVE IT!!”

“Then I pity you. Would that you had used your stolen mortal years to earn your return to this sacred place. I could have loved you anew, as I loved the man you once were. But I see nothing of him here. You are Irenicus. And all that awaits you… is death.”

“We shall see, my former love. We shall see.”
[Ellesime disappears]

“So, she goes to rouse Elhan and the others while I am still weak. So be it, I shall crush them all, if need be. I retain your power, yet, Sholin. Your soul still courses through me. Come and make your attempt to reclaim it, if you like. I have power enough to deal with you!”

“We’re going to take back Sholin’s soul if we have to rip it out of your chest, Irenicus! And you are going to hell, WHERE YOU BELONG!!” Imoen shouted.

[FADE TO BLACK]