A bit of silliness, because Darkrose begged to know what happened next! [In case you missed the first tale, our heroine Endarune (NOT a Bhaalspawn) wanders into the Copper Coronet, where she proceeds to drink Korgan and Anomen under the table. She then deposits them both into the same room before retiring herself, looking for a good night's sleep before she resumes searching for her Uncle George.]
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The Morning After
Anomen and Korgan opened their eyes at the same moment. Each found himself staring into the other's face. Anomen reacted a tenth of a second faster, because the whole idea of waking up with someone else's beard in his face was rather more foreign to him, but both the males had vaulted themselves into opposite corners of the room faster than they could have drawn their weapons.
"AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!" they screamed simultaneously, harmonizing in two different octaves. Then they both clutched their heads in agony, as their own voices sent sharp spikes of pain into their skulls. The two men whimpered in unison as they finally stood still long enough for the full force of their hangovers hit.
The door began to shake underneath an onslaught of fierce pounding at that moment. A cheerful feminine voice cried, "Rise and shine, you two lazybones! Sun's been up for near an hour! Come on, grab your gear! I brought your breakfasts up with me, scarf 'em quick, 'cause we've got to be ready to invade the courthouse in the Government District just as soon as it opens at nine."
Anomen was closer, and somehow managed to stumble over to the door. He only went because the pain from the noise was worse than the pain he felt when he moved. With a gasp, he jerked open the door, and clamped his hand tightly over the visitor's mouth in his desperation to stop the sound that was making his head split. Then he registered who was causing the disturbance, and almost fell over as he recognized Endarune. His unsteady feet seemed to twist themselves into knots at the realization, and next thing he knew, all three of them were on the bed.
It was a testament to the intensity of his hangover that it was a full five seconds before he stopped being grateful that the noise had ceased. Then he realized that he was lying at the bottom of a pile of bodies. Endarune had somehow wound up turned on her side, and her grey eyes were peering up at him through the curly tangle of her black hair. She seemed to be mumbling something, and belatedly the Watcher realized that he still had his hand pinned over her mouth.
Over the woman's shoulder, he saw Korgan's ugly visage glaring down at him. "Now why'd ye hae to go and be doin' sech a foolish thing to the wench, ye pitiful excuse for a man? Canna ye even be bothered to gie her a few pretty words afore ye turn her over yer knee? I gie ye credit fer more courage than I thought ye had, for I've no doubts that this one's a true hellcat if she's nae willin'! Now I'll have twice the work to work me will on her!"
A sudden movement underneath the dwarf served to prove his point. Korgan suddenly squealed and rolled off the bed, landing in a pathetic heap on the floor. With another convulsive movement, Endarune freed herself from Anomen's grasp and pulled herself to a sitting position on the mattress. Instinctively, Anomen curled himself into a small fetal ball. He knew he deserved as many blows as the girl chose to bestow, but he'd no wish to spend the rest of the day speaking in a falsetto. He was astonished when nothing happened.
Cautiously, he uncurled enough to peer out. On the end of the mattress, the girl was sitting with her head in her hands. A metal tray was lying on the floor near the bed, with porridge still clinging determinedly to the sides of two bowls that had been partially upset. A trail of toast led back to the door, where the small butter dish had been cast off.
Anomen was horribly embarrassed. After the way Korgan had looked at Endarune last night, the dwarf was probably going to try to kill him for this. He didn't even think the girl was particularly attractive--- she was a little too heavy and far too short for his tastes--- but it certainly looked like he'd been trying to seduce her, or worse. His head was still pounding, too, and the room seemed to be quivering. After another moment, he realized that it was Endarune shaking the bed.
He found himself kneeling in front of her, watching the salt water trickle between her hands. "Milady, please cease your weeping. I meant no insult to you, and never would I try to harm a lady in such a way. Oh, Endarune, please forgive my clumsiness. I shall make whatever amends you ask!"
She shook her head, but made no noise except a kind of choking gasp, repeated at intervals. He couldn't see her face, and again he begged her forgiveness, this time boldly reaching out to clasp her hands. He had to make her look at him! Her hands fell away, and at last he beheld her expression.
She was laughing so hard the tears were running down her face, and she could barely gasp for breath between the spasms.
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The two men were silent as they made their way towards the Government District. Korgan was miffed that he'd not thought of such a clever plan to do a little groping without getting slapped. Anomen was still thoroughly demoralized, even though he was relieved to still have his head. A sense of humor had suddenly assumed a new place of importance in his list of qualities of the ideal woman.
Endarune practically skipped along in her new bright white tunic and gray trousers. Soon, very soon, she would reach a level of spell mastery that would satisfy the Fraylady, and she could go back to her clerical duties. She had even more motivation now, since only licensed wizards were allowed to operate within Amn. Five thousand gold was the cost, or so said rumor. It'd take a bit to put that sort of coin together. That Gaelan Bayle man must have been soft in the head, to think she'd take off with him "to hear something to her advantage". She knew full well what that usually meant! No, she was no fly to walk blithely into the spider's lair.
On the south side of the square she spotted a gnome with hair as dark as her own. She knew that meaning look on his face; it was just as good as if he'd shouted "Hey, you! C'mere!" Intrigued, she bounced her way over to him. It was bound to be a good tale, anyway. She'd never met a gnome who couldn't talk the hind leg off a mule.
In fifteen minutes, Jan had packed up his shop and agreed to join in the hunt for Uncle George. "It'll be worth it just to find out if your improbable tale's got a word of truth in it, Endy," he assured her.
"Oh, you'll see, Jan-man," she riposted. Like heck she was gonna take on another weird nickname. Rune was strange enough already. "We're going to go haunt the Cowlies until they admit they've got my uncle. Five'll get you ten they're already beginning to regret taking him into custody."
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Meanwhile, in the Cowled Wizards' Secret Headquarters (CoWSH)…
"What is known?" demanded the Chief Inquisitor.
"Nothing but the elf's name. He is Jon Irenicus."
"And the human?"
A hesitant note crept into the subordinate's voice. "He says his name is George."
"Says? Did you not test his words for truth?"
"Er, under the circumstances, sir, we felt it to be better to take him at his word."
The Chief Inquisitor stiffened. "And why might that be, Sub-inquisitor Junior Grade Dagrem?"
The chastened underling actually looked down and scraped his toe across the tile floor. "Well, sir, I actually made the decision after Inquisitor Mocurly turned into a frog when he--- I mean, the Inquisitor--- tried to cast a Know Alignment spell, and then Sub-inquisitor Senior Grade Larishemp got teleported away somewhere when she--- the Sub-inquisitor, sir--- tried to dispel the magic on Inquisitor Mocurly. I brought the frog, er, the Inquisitor, with me," he added hopefully.
The Chief Inspector turned his attention to the foreign human wizard. The man was turning around in place, examining the room closely.
"So this is CoWSH!" said the man excitedly. "Well, do you know, I never believed Khelben and Volo when they used to tell me your organization led an underground existence, but now I see that they were absolutely right. About six meters down, if I'm not mistaken. You have made it quite a comfy CoWSH, too," he added politely.
Irenicus buried his face in his hands. This was not in the plans he'd laid so carefully for the past decades. How could such a silly-looking man have destroyed all his work so easily? That Thayvian wizard would have been bad enough, but this was an entirely unknown factor. Again he cursed the stupidity of those hirelings his sister had engaged in Baldur's Gate. He should have taken care of it himself.
The man with the really long muffler wound about his neck and the silly dragon slippers was speaking again. "Terribly sorry about the Inspector. I think if you try to turn him back in a room down the hall he'll be fine. I wasn't paying attention when he started the spell, or I'd have been prepared. I'm afraid I'm not at my best when I'm startled," he added apologetically. "If it helps any, I think the poor girl just got caught up in the backwash, and she should come back out of Limbo at any moment."
As he spoke, a loud thump could be heard reverberating through the building, followed by a long screech. A silver-haired half-elven woman stormed in, throwing her brown outer robe at the Chief Inquisitor's feet. "I QUIT, DADDY!"
"But… but pumpkin, you can't just quit. You've been oathed," the Chief Inquisitor said, then caught himself. "Er, yes. They are deviants!" he proclaimed impressively. "Let them rot in Spellhold!"
As Irenicus and George were teleported away, they faintly heard the pleading voice of the Chief Inspector.
"Now look, sugar, Daddy knows just how horrible it was to be stuck in a place where there wasn't any shopping, but you can't …."
