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10. Paladins Behaving Badly


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#1 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 12 November 2002 - 05:00 PM

10. Paladins Behaving Badly

12 FLAMERULE 1200
ATHKATLA – THE MOST NOBLE ORDER OF THE RADIANT HEART

The largest office on the main floor of the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart was ostentatious beyond belief. The carpet was practically thick enough for a thief to hide in, the carefully chiseled stone walls were covered with thick, intricately woven tapestries made in Calimshan but cleverly made and marketed with northern knights in mind and the scenes they depicted had been chosen accordingly. What wall space wasn’t covered in tapestries, and some that was, was used to hang and display various enchanted weapons which would surely have done more good in the hands of a warrior in the field than upon the walls of this office. The furniture in the room was all made of expertly crafted marble. Such as the table, upon which a thick, gold-tasseled cloth was also draped, was stacked with a few paper but mostly shining baubles of precious stones and tiny statuettes of knights and castles. Such as the bookshelves, which were lined with histories, philosophies, and theologies written to exalt lawfulness, obedience, and virtue. Such as the many statues, which officially depicted Torm and various paladins of old, but in fact all their faces looked the same.

This face belonged, of course, to the commissioner of all these statues and current tenant of this office, and he sat now at his desk, fiddling idly with his baubles. He looked up at an oak-and-gold grandfather clock against the wall and suddenly became quite agitated. “Where’s my lunch!” he bellowed and pounded the table.

The door opened and that sound and a freckled squire opened the door. “Y-you would like your lunch now, Sir?” the boy asked nervously.

“Of course, you loitering dolt!” the fat knight screamed. “Look at the time! Merciful Helm! It’s five past noon now! I have said my lunch is to be delivered at noon promptly! Look at this…insolence! This disobedience! This laziness! Can’t you follow such a simple order, you idiot!? Is it stupidity, or is it sloth? No matter, whichever it is, with this kind of behavior you’ll never make it into the Order, squire! And it’s not just ‘sir,’ once-again-disobedient lackey! It is Sir Puritus Pontius Pilatus IV,” he spat gobs of spittle as he pronounced his own name, “and you well know I come from a long line of esteemed knights of the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart, at least you do if you’ve been attending to your assigned studies!”

“Of course,” Sir Pilatus,” the boy nodded, “I am quite familiar with the many great deeds of your great-grandfather, and those of your grandfather too!”

Puritus smiled for a moment, but then his face fell to a scowl. “Yes, and what of my father’s? What of me for that matter?”

The boy thought carefully. “Well, Sir Pilatus, I know you are of great authority within the Order, as was your father, but I’m terribly sorry that I can’t think of specific deed at the moment…I guess we haven’t gotten to the more recent stuff yet…”

“Unstudious idiot!” Puritus screamed, his face turning red, “Fetch me my lunch! NOW!”

“Yes, Sir Pilatus,” the boy nodded and zipped away. Puritus coughed and pounded his chest once or twice. He had just opened a drawer at his desk and pulled out a flask when another figure appeared in the doorway and he sheepishly stashed it away again.

“Don’t you know how to knock, by Helm!” he shouted and looked up. “Why you……Sir Anomen Delryn! Good to see you again! How have you been? Remember that speech on morality you wrote and delivered at your knighthood ceremony? Look, I had it transcribed and hung on the wall here!” Puritus gestured to a framed scroll written in painstaking calligraphy. “Why, if half our boys showed the same sense of duty you do, we….well, I don’t know, but I wish they would. Speaking of which, WHERE’S MY LUNCH!” he screamed out into the hall.

Anomen had been smiling smugly but his curly hairs nearly straightened at Puritus’s shrill scream. “Sir, might you have seen Sir Keldorn Firecam? I was looking for him but…”

“My lunch!” Puritus interrupted happily as the freckled boy came back into the room carrying a tray laden with meat and wine. He dug in as soon as it was set on the table, and declared, “Ah, yes, continue Sir Anomen,” when he seemed to remember the man’s presence.

“I was looking for Sir Keldorn Firecam, sir,” Anomen said, “But if you don’t happen to know, I’ll ask someone else, it’s no trouble…”

Puritus began a motion to brush him off, but then stopped and beckoned towards himself. “Actually, tell me,” he said in between chews, “You look quite bedraggled, like you just got in after a long journey,” Anomen nodded, “Haven’t you been gone for near a week? Pray tell, where’ve you been? And why do want to see Keldorn so bad now that you’re back?”

Anomen stammered for a second. “Well sir, I really think Keldorn would rather I find him first, it’s kind of a long story, I….”

“What?” Puritus screamed and his face reddened, “How dare you disobey me? Do you want to be demoted back to squire?”

“Forgive me sir!!” Anomen gasped with a terrified look, “Very well. I left to undertake a mission at Sir Firecam’s direction, and I’ve returned to report on it.”

“Ah, you completed the mission then?” Puritus smiled. “Excellent work! But pray tell, why wasn’t I informed?”

“Well sir, I suppose it’s because you’re too important to be bothered with the details of every single knight here,” Anomen grinned and drew a proud chuckle from Puritus, “Actually, the mission wasn’t completed, but…well, I’ll spare you the details…”

Puritus nodded skeptically but gave a beckoning gesture. "Tell more, please..."

"Ah, Anomen! There you are!" shouted Keldorn as he burst into the room. "One of the squires mentioned you'd come in."

Puritus gave a wry grin. "Yes, Anomen was just about to deliver his news; glad you could join us."

"But of course," Keldorn gave Puritus a suspicious look, "It was me he was looking for, after all."

"Of course," Puritus smiled, "But given that I am the ranking knight in this room, and that...obfuscation is not becoming of a member of the Order...I'm sure Anomen will have no objection to giving his report here and now." He beckoned to Anomen again.

"Well," the young Helmite began, "The mission was basically going well. We followed the circus through the Cloudpeaks and Nashkel, dispatching a gang of Purple Sun Assassins - the manpower behind the slaving raids, it seems - at each location, although Jarek was captured by one of them in Nashkel and we haven't heard from him since." Keldorn nodded at this news, but not with a terribly grave look on his face, as like Arra he was used to Bond's in-and-out-of-trouble misadventures. "So we continued to Beregost, and during the circus performance we, eh, got involved..."

"Got involved," Keldorn arched an eyebrow. "Engaging one's adversary under a big top is hardly a low-profile move..."

Puritus was looking even more suspicious. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is," he growled at Keldorn. "You know the Council's position on this! If word that the Order was involved..."

"Let him finish," Keldorn interrupted Puritus.

"Why, you insubordinate old..." Puritus growled under his breath but beckoned to Anomen to resume.

"Well," the priest continued, "We ended up fighting the circus crew during the show, and basically wiped them all out..."

Keldorn slapped his forehead. "If that Bhaalspawn isn't a walking wave of wanton destruction, I'll be Torm's underpants!"

"You put that BHAALSPAWN cavalier on this!?" Puritus’s mouth hung open. "Firecam, you FOOL! You know he can't be trusted! What in the nine hells were you thinking!?"

"Just continued, Anomen," Keldorn sighed.

"Well, the SIX of us basically wiped them out," Anomen stuck his nose up proudly, "We managed to capture two of the three ringleaders alive, the third got away, and then Onyx and Valygar eh, interrogated the two using means unbecoming a knight and unbecoming the philosophies Helmites hold dear."

"They TORTURED them!?" Puritus screamed. "If word of this ever gets out...the entire reputation of the Order will be ruined! Do you have any idea of what you've done, Keldorn? What were you thinking! I can't believe you let that green hot-headed fiend-blooded vampire-loving maverick-paladin on a mission that we weren't supposed to be involved with in the first place! How in the hells a subhuman Bhaalspawn can be a paladin in the first place, I'll never know, why he didn't lose his crest long ago I don't understand either, and why we made him a full Order member a month-odd ago still hasn't been properly explained to me, and how you could be so stupid, reckless, and insubordinate as to let this situation arise I can't even fathom!"

Anomen was shaking in his boots, and Keldorn was gulping but staying reasonably calm. "Well," the aged inquisitor began, "I too can't say I approve of his methods, I've certainly never approved of that vampiric longsword I hear he carries.."

"Blackrazor!" Anomen sneered, "And he has another, a two-hander, Gram, the ancient Sword of Grief! Tis poisonous and vampiric!"

Keldorn's eyes arched, "Well, okay, I certainly don't approve of the vampiric swords," he emphasized the 's', "he carries, I've long been suspicious of the influence of his heritage, and I'll never forgive him for associating with that vile drow witch - did you know when I confronted him about it, he told ME to take a hike?..."

"I believe he did part with her soon after," Anomen scratched his beard. “I seem to recall him mentioning the story when we crossed paths. Of course, he ended up parting ways with me too, when he couldn't handle seeing and hearing how a REAL knight should behave. Never mentioned why they split apart though."

"Likely she ended up trying to hypnotize, seduce, and then sacrifice him and he ended up having to fight for his life! I warned him something like that would happen!" Keldorn scoffed. "Well, as long as he killed her in the end... Anyway, while his list of shortcomings is rather long, and perhaps we should consider some sort of punitive action..."

"...such as expulsion from the Order!" Anomen chided eagerly. This was, after all, the thing he most feared in the world, and so naturally he projected the same onto Onyx.

"...yes, or something, at least he seems to have foiled that circus, and hopefully is now going after the slavers..."

"Are you DEAF?" Puritus screamed. "I told you then and I'll tell you now the mission is a mistake from the start! You know the Council's position on this! The circus, or any organization accused of slaving, is not to be attacked or spied upon, but to be given due process of law, and arraigned to appear in court before the government of Athkatla! Moreover, Beregost is well out of our jurisdiction!"

"We did arraign them, remember?" Keldorn sighed. "And the circus ringleaders just never showed up in court! What did you think would happen?"

"It doesn't matter!" Puritus whined, "That's the law! That's how you deal with these things! Lawfully!" Anomen nodded along obsequiously, "You can't just go around invading and attacking and taking careless action! You have to talk, you have to discuss, you have to negotiate, you have to have meetings and tribunals...."

"We've tried that," Keldorn sighed. "The circus usually mails the Council a jack-in-the-box or a flaming bag of donkey dung when it tries to arrange a meeting with them! Even if they didn't send someone, they'd just give us the run-around. Like whenever the Council meets with the Calmishanis. They just flatter and make empty, vaguely-worded but pleasant-sounding promises they never intend to keep!"

"But that doesn't give Onyx a license to just go around being a hero-er, vigilante!" Anomen stomped his foot.

"It doesn't give us a license to break our hallowed rules, or knowingly allow one of our members to do this same," Puritus stared Keldorn down.

"Of course," Keldorn sighed, "Onyx is operating outside acceptable parameters. In many ways. We've put up with his cavalier, unknightly attitude long enough, and he should be punished appropriately when he returns. But as a practical matter, Anomen, unless you stayed around to hear what those tortured bards had to say or know where he's going at all..." the Helmite shook his head, "I doubt we'll see him until after he's finished his wild goose chase."

"What do you know, Sir Delryn?" Puritus asked.

"I believe the slavers' base is located somewhere near the coast, north of the Cloudpeaks and south of Beregost. That's pretty wide, but I'm certain the party will go to Candlekeep directly afterwards, assuming they survive their confrontation with the slavers. Onyx's fiancé and sister were going to meet them there."

"Ah yes," Puritus smiled, "I am familiar with that, actually, that unladylike de'Arnise brat also left with them just yesterday. Dwein Seroindose has been...complaining...about her. Speaking of which, we need to wrap his little fiasco up, or he will have my - I mean, our - heads. He won't take lightly to the Order overstepping itself like this. He'll use anything he can to undermine the Order and transfer power to the Council and the Cowled Wizards, whom he can control much better. We have only one option - we have to go along with Dwein, he IS our leader after all, he is the law - it's the right and lawful thing to do, and it's in the Order's best interests. He won't mind the Order so much if we show him that it's...amicable to his own noble aims."

Keldorn was looking pallid and arched an eyebrow. "Noble?"

"It's not our place to question Dwein Seroindose!" Puritus snapped. "He is the law! And before he finds out we've broken his edicts, we need to wrap up this mission! We need to bury it!"

"Bury....?" Keldorn asked suspiciously.

"Yes," Puritus nodded. He raised his voice and shouted, "Son! Judas! Adonis!"

Immediately three paladins came walking into the room from the next office. They were all young and in very good shape. The first one looked much like his father, except he was not fat - yet. He had an arrogant smirk, and a tight dark goatee and hair. In fact he bore a certain physical and personal resemblance to Anomen, but was taller and seemed more confident. He wore full plate generously adorned with tabards of the Order and of Torm and Helm, as well as his own family crest, largest of all. The second knight looked the tallest and strongest, had jet-black hair, deep-set green eyes, strong, angular features, and a deep, resolute scowl. His armor was the plainest of the three, but displayed the scales of Tyr. The third had smooth golden skin, longish and carefully styled blonde hair, painstakingly plucked eyebrows, bright blue eyes and shining white teeth, and a practiced, almost lustful smile. This armor was richly illustrated and even colorful, and also bore some emblems of Sune.

“A paladin of….Sune?” Keldorn raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Not just any paladin,” the blonde man smiled while flipping a wrist, “Sir Adonis Narcissus, roseknight of Sune!” he smiled, swept back his nymph’s cloak, and rested his hands upon the shortswords at his hilt which Anomen noticed looked similar to Onyx’s Blade of Roses.

“And Sir Judas Iscarias, justicar of Tyr!” boomed the tall man and touched a gauntlet to the balanced-scaled emblem on his chest.

“And Sir Puritus Pontius Pilatus V, watcher knight of Helm!” smiled the goateed man, and Puritus IV gave a proud smile. “What is your bidding, father?”

“A certain paladins and member of the Order has…gone rogue,” Puritus IV sneered, “Though we don’t know whether he is yet fallen, he is currently somewhere in the southwestern Sword Coast area. He has last been seen in Beregost, we don’t know where he will go immediately after, but eventually he should make his way to Candlekeep.”

“As long as he stays in Beregost,” Anomen added trying to be helpful, “You may find him at the Temple of Lathander if not at one of the inns – the Jovial Juggler, if I know his tastes.”

“Hmmph!” Adonis puffed while inspecting his neatly filed fingernails, “Feldepost’s Inn is sooooo much classier!” Pontius V smirked and nodded in agreement.

“Actually, Anomen,” Puritus IV smiled, “Perhaps you’d like to go with them. You would know of his possible whereabouts best, you seem to have a….welcome dedication…to the nature of the mission, and another devotee of Helm is welcome on any mission. What about you, old Keldorn?”

The old inquisitor looked about nervously, “I…have much to attend to here.”

“Then you are dismissed,” Puritus declared coldly. Keldorn gave an equal terse head-bow and left with a dark grimace on his face.

Puritus IV looked over the four younger knights carefully. “Excellent, but..perhaps one more.”

Puritus V smiled. “How about that little runt who’s been bugging us for a commission? Unless you…wouldn’t want to risk something happening to her on a potentially dangerous mission like this,” he smirked sarcastically.

“Yes,” Puritus IV said, “But I suppose if she were to fall in the line of duty, that would be sort of paladinic end she strives for, wouldn’t it? Squire-boy!” he shouted into the hall.

“Y-yes, Sir Pilatus?” the freckled boy squeaked from the hall.

“Fetch Miss um….the halfling!”

“Yes sir!” the boy declared and ran off.

“Hobbit paladins,” Puritus IV scoffed while going over to a bookshelf, “That’ll be the day. Over my full-size dead body.” He pulled out an especially thick tome of Helmite moral doctrine and handed it to his son. “This’ll get you into Candlekeep if need be.”

“You called, sir?” a short red-headed woman asked politely as she appeared in the doorway.

“Ah yes, Miss, ah…” Puritus V tried to remember her name.

“Lady Mazzy Fentan,” the halfling declared proudly and put her tiny hands on her hips.

“Ah yes, of course. Well, you wanted a mission, now you’ve got one. Along with these fine gentlemen here, you are to track down a rogue paladin and…bring him to justice.”

Mazzy looked skeptical. “Who is he, what did he do, and what does bringing him to justice entail?”

“Well,” Puritus IV smiled nervously, “He is that former Bhaalspawn known as Onyx.”

Mazzy’s jaw almost dropped the remaining three feet to the floor. “You’re kidding! He’s..he’s a hero! I can attest personally! He rescued me from a dungeon in the Umar Hills and together we slew the Shade Lord – and a shadow dragon!”

“Yes, yes,” Puritus IV waved a hand absently, “But good deeds don’t make up for bad. I don’t have time to go into detail, but I’m sure your companions will tell you along the way.”

“No, I insist on knowing what he’s done before I agree to bring him to so-called justice!” Mazzy stamped her foot.

“You insolent little runt!” Puritus IV scowled down at her, leaning over her to try to intimidate her, though his huge belly made it look more like she was looking up a hill than a cliff. “And you think you could be an Order knight? It is not your place to question our judgment on such matters!”

Mazzy looked him in the eyes for a moment, then her eyes unfocused and the wise, faraway, almost sad look she often wore came over her face. “A knight never surrenders her own judgment,” she said calmly, as if talking to herself, and turned and left the room.

“Stupid runt,” Puritus V scoffed.

“She’ll be judged accordingly,” Judas chuckled.

“She WAS kinda cute,” Adonis mused while brushing his hair.

Anomen bit his lip and remained silent.

“Well, gentlemen, I guess that’s it, “Puritus declared and clapped his hands, “Look for him in Beregost; failing that, ambush him at Candlekeep. Is the mission clear?”

Puritus V, Judas, and Adonis all held their heavy crossbows high. “Find Onyx, and bring him to justice.”

“And if he resists?” Puritus IV arched and eyebrow.

The three cocked their crossbows. “Neutralize him.”

**********

12 FLAMERULE 2000
ATHKATLA - SOMEWHERE IN THE GOVERNMENT DISTRICT

“You may pass,” spoke the guard. The hallway was so black that Isaea Roenal could not see his face, and the entire setup creeped him out. All this, messengers, passwords, dark labyrinthine hallways – was he underground? – just so that he could see a member of the Council of Six? He was a powerful and influential noble, they should have been going out of their way to come see HIM!

Isaea stepped through the door and the guard closed – and locked – it behind him. Isaea gulped and nearly sullied himself. The room was pitch black, until a small glowing orb appeared at the other end and bathed the room in a dull light. Isaea could see a figure behind the desk, holding the orb – no, wait, he was making it float above him – Dwein Seroindose was a wizard? Isaea came forward and, in the dank light, could barely make him out. Dwein wore a red cloak which hid his body and the top half of his face. The lower half of his face, too, was obscured by a bushy black beard. Isaea thought he could catch a glimpse of a piece of jewelry on the man’s face – facial jewelry? perhaps a piercing – and he had his robed elbows on the table and his hands clasped together, showing off several probably-enchanted rings on his fingers.

“Have a seat,” Dwein said in a strange accent Isaea couldn’t quite place, but felt he should have been able to. Isaea obliged. “What news?”

“The de’Arnise brat has left Athkatla,” Isaea whined, “With the sister and lover of that accursed Bhaalspawn-paladin.”

“You waste my time,” Dwein sighed, “This I know. They are headed to Candlekeep.”

“I told you this would happen if you postponed the trial over de’Arnise Keep!”

Dwein chuckled. “Why do you think I did so in the first place?”

Isaea bit his lip. He didn’t like Dwein’s manner at all. He couldn’t even see the red-cloaked politician’s eyes, but he could feel the man appraising him. Coldly. Dwein obviously thought himself smarter and superior; he could just tell me his manner! It infuriated. Who in the nine hells was this Dwein Seroindose anyway? How’d he come out of nowhere and make his way onto the Council; so conveniently just as another member passed away? Why, he’d been trying for years! He deserved it, he was a Roenal! “I don’t understand,” Isaea managed lamely. “Now it’d be months before I have a chance to claim what’s rightfully mine!”

“Patience, patience,” Dwein chuckled. “The outcome may not be favorable anyway, with Eroanne Nasher muddling things up for it! Blast it, what’s a girl that young doing on the Council anyway? But I digress.”

“But why did you postpone the trial, if you knew she would skip town in the meantime?”

“Perhaps you’re still not seeing the entire picture. You and I have a common enemy in that de’Arnise girl. She’s trying to wrestle the Keep away from you, and she’s trying to wrestle a seat on the Council away from me!”

“Yes yes, I understand, but why want her to skip town? You just got her out of your hair for the time being, but possibly at the cost of my Keep!”

“Silence, fool!” Dwein snapped and Isaea gulped. “You’ll be much more likely to get your due with my cunning plan! You see, she’s going to Candlekeep, where she won’t have the same entourage with her or the same Sphere to hide in!”

“You mean…”

“Yes. I have already sent assassins north. They will intercept her either upon the road, or at Candlekeep, and dispatch her.”

“And the two that travel with her?”

“A lower priority, but they too will be dealt with. And I look forward to it. (The avariel, you see, is the witch of a certain Rashemanian berserker whose first witch…lived longer than she should have; I’d be overjoyed to see his second cut short in due time.) And the other human; my spies overhead her saying she wants to start a thieves’ guild. (Well, I had enough trouble aligning myself with the Shadow Thieves, I’ll not see another upstart get in my way!) Now, nobleman, is there anything else you wish to know?”

“N-no, I suppose not, this should take care of the matter…if the assassins do their job.”

Dwein smiled. “They will, I assure you. (And if they didn’t…I would.)”

Dwein Seroindose threw back his red hood and laughed, and Isaea finally realized what he was – a red wizard of Thay.

**********

Sir Puritus Pontius Pilatus V
Human Male
Lawful Good
Paladin
Level 18
STR 17
DEX 15
CON 15
INT 11
WIS 13
CHA 17
Bastard Swords ++
Crossbows ++
Longswords ++
Maces ++
Two-Handed Swords ++

Sir Judas Iscaras
Human Male
Lawful Good
Paladin
Level 18
STR 18(81)
DEX 12
CON 17
INT 8
WIS 14
INT 17
Crossbows ++
Halberds ++
Spears ++
Two-Handed Swords ++
Two-Handed Style ++

Sir Adonis Narcissus
Human Male
Lawful Good
Paladin
Level 15
STR 14
DEX 18
CON 11
INT 10
WIS 13
CHA 18
Crossbows ++
Daggers ++
Shortswords ++
Two Weapon Style +++




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