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Hello Cthulhu #6


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#1 Guest_Userunfriendly_*

Posted 25 May 2003 - 03:15 AM

The next morning, the party were treated to breakfast in bed by the grateful servants.

Nalia bounced in, smiling and happy and full of energy.

She first went up to Hellocthul, still groggy and lying in bed, and carefully kissed her on the cheek.

Nalia: Good morning!

She next went over to Jaheira, and kissed her on her brow.

Nalia: Good morning! My father is doing so great this morning, he started bellowing for a hearty breakfast instead of the gruel with honey that the Keep healer ordered! Thank you so much!

Jaheira: Well, I am very glad to hear that, child. I cast whatever healing spells I knew yesterday, all the healing that is left is the bones. And they will simply take their own time, I do not have the greater healings that will heal and knit bones quickly...

Nalia: What you did yesterday was more than enough...(Nalia bounces over to the next bed, where Hellocthul was eating her bacon and eggs) Say, that looks good!

Nalia sits by Hellocthul and the two of them shares breakfast. Jaheira smiles to herself. Both Jaheira and Hellocthul have been watching each other since Khalid's death and Imoen's kidnapping to make sure the other does not fall into a depression spiral, and Jaheira was pleased that Nalia or Nalian, as they first knew her, seemed to have a genuine interest in Hellocthul...And Nalia knew about Hello Cthulhu, and still liked her. Jaheira hoped this was something that would last.

Nalia still thought about the conversation she had with her father and aunt this morning, and hugged her father's love to herself.

Lord De'Arnise: Nalia, kitten? Your aunty tells me you found someone, during your mission...I am so proud of you, my daughter!!! You found a good group of very skilled adventurers, and Captain Arat was most impressed with their organization and tactics, and he was astonished at their skills...He tells me also that he saw you in action, and you did not completely disgrace him as your armsmaster, and that is high praise indeed!

Delcia De'Arnise: HERBERT IRVING DE'ARNISE!!! HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS LYING DOWN!! Your daughter is consorting with the lowest of the low, filthy flea ridden scum of the very dregs off the streets, filthy whores and trollops and knuckledragging thugs from who knows....

Lord De'Arnise: SHUT UP!!! MY daughter will consort with anyone who she pleases, and I am lying down because my legs are broken, in defense of this keep and your worthless life. And it turns out that those "filthy whores and thugs" are the heros of Baldur's Gate AND Amn, and the Grand Duke of Baldur's Gate offered Hellocthul a fiefdom, bigger than the De'Arnise holdings, by the way, and the title of Baroness, and the rank of Protector of Baldur's Gate...which she turned down! And those "lowest of the low" saved your niece, your brother in law, and your own miserable worthless life at the risk of their own! So shut up Delcia!!! You have been a shrew since Alison introduced you to me, and your sharp edged venom dripping tongue has been a constant scourge to my ears for the longest 5 years of my life, since Alison died!

Lady Delcia gave a (cultured and refined) gasp, and tottered over to a chair in the room.

Nalia(with a small grin): And any way, Hellocthul and I are engaged. So there!!!

Lady Delcia turned pale, stood up, tottered over (with small mincing graceful steps) over to the bed, gasped (in a lady like fashion) and fainted on the couch, this time with her arms artfully held wide apart.(she was trying to imitate the Five Fagons Inn Production of "A Lady of Tethyr", where the Heroine had just received news her brother, father, mother and her pet poodle, "Noodle" had all died in a landslide)

Nalia grinned at her father, after reflexively checking her pulse: Father, urm...urm....

Lord Fe'Arnise: I hope you really are not engaged to that beautiful young lady, you really should tell me about those things first. And kitten, remember I always told you, and your mother told you that we will always love you no matter what. If you have "feelings" for that brave young lady, its ok, and I trust you.

Nalia: Daddy!!! I do have feelings for her, and its scary and wonderful, but we are not engaged. Sorry about that, but aunty is so incredibly annoying...

Lord De'Arnise: She is your aunt, and she still cares for you, even though she does hurt your ears...how that much sound can come out of a mouth that is perpetually pinched and looks like she is sucking on a sour lemon is a mystery...kitten, after breakfast, (hopefully lunch will be better than this gruel...yech) we are going to have to talk with your friends...

After breakfast and a quick wash, the party met in the bedroom of Lord De'Arnise...

Lord De'Arnise explained about the long standing feud with the Roenalls, and the much reduced defenses of the keep made the situation dangerously vulnerable...He offered them the full 10000 gold pieces, but Hellocthul turned down half the money, and they agreed on a payment plan, 200 gold a month. Nalia beamed at Hellocthul, she knew that 10000 would have almost paupered the holding, and there were many expenses and expensive repairs left behind.

Then Lord De'Arnise moved to the important stuff...Nalia and her father believed this attack was sponsored by the Roenalls, but this wasn't their style...they usually went for subtle, probing attacks, undermining the people in the keep, and using dirty tricks. This overt attack was unlike them, and Nalia's father wanted Nalia away from the hold, which was still dangerously vulnerable. Nalia would be safer on the road, protected by a party of skilled and seasoned adventurers, especially after Captain Arat assured Lord De'Arnise that the party, after seeing Hellocthul's sorcery in action, was stronger and more dangerous than the remaining De'Arnise Guards combined...and he wanted Nalia away from the hold, a moving target.

What Lord De'Arnise did not tell Nalia and the party is that he had already heard reports and accounts of Hellocthul, Jaheira, Minsc, Dynahir and Imoen from his adventuring friends, and it was their reports and glowing praise that made him decide on his course of action...

The party stayed for a week, helping out and getting some rest, and they headed off for Athlanka.

About a mile away from the city, they were met by a large and well armed force of the Anmish Guard.

Isea Roenall: Nalia De'Arnise, I arrest you in the name of the Council of Six....

Hellocthul: On what charge!!!

Isea: On refusing to honor her obligations and her sworn word, to marry me, her fiancee! And she has been consorting with dangerous ruffians and hooligans. I urge caution, my "friends" from touching your weapons. As you can see, you are seriously outnumbered.

Hellocthul carefully guided her horse in front of Nalia's mount, held her arm out, pointed at Isea, and snapped her fingers...a small, incandescent ball of red fire flickered between her fingertips...

Hellocthul: Well, if your thugs even think about attacking us, YOU GET IT FIRST!!! Ever felt the bite of a melf minute meteor, boy??? The fire inside each meteor is so hot it cannot be put out with water, only smothered in sand, and the fire will eat its way inside your flesh until it starts burning the bone. Turn around boy, and ride away...

Nalia: Isea, I hereby call off the engagement, I never want to see you again, you loathsome corpulent garbage eating vole!!!

Isea, his face dripping sweat, carefully rode his horse to the rear of his men.

As the force slowly backed away, Hellocthul got off her horse, and said

"chuuuuuuu!!!"

Hello Cthulhu gestured, and said "Fwuppy Pink Snugglyly Bunnies!!!"

And suddenly thousands of cotton candy pink bunnies appeared around the party...

They all opened their mouths, filled with cute bunny buckteeth, and started singing in a high pitched, squeeky (yet adorable) voice...

"Here comes peter cotton tail,
Hopping down the bunny trail,
Hipping and hopping with glee!"

And as they finished their cute and adorable song, they became not so adorable...

They each opened their mouths wide, and their cute bunny buckteeth started to grow...until each bunny had 2 feet long sharp and jagged and serrated fangs, dripping fresh blood, their eyes started to glow a deep, ominous red...

Now they started chanting...

"Elmer fudd must die, elmer fudd must die! And you are elmer fudd!!! KILL!!! EAT!!! MAIM!!! FUDD-SEASON!!!"

The force of Amnish Guards, not being terminally stupid, started riding away at this point, as fast as they could...

The bunnies started to chase them, hopping and giggling insanely...an evil, and adorable pink flood...

Nalia slid off her horse, hugged Hello Cthulhu, and asked for a cookie...

Nalia held Hello Cthulhu in her arms, then slowly gently kissed her in the mouth...Nalia was surprised at how nice Hello Cthulhu tasted, of warm milk and she smelled like fresh baked cookies...and her mouth tentacles felt like little kitten paws, as they stroked her cheek, the soft tentacle fur feeling incredibly soft....Nalia fed Hello Cthulhu the cookie, and Nalia was holding Hellocthul in her arms, and this time, Nalia was much more enthusiastic about her kisses...

Jaheira: Urm, children, the sun is almost setting, lets move into the city and find an inn...

Nalia and Hellocthul stuck their tongues out at Jaheira, and the party moved out...

When they reached the city gates, a shifty eyed soldier in guard uniform accosted them...

Soldier: Ye be having problems with Arse-bugger, I means, Isea Roenall, right miss??? I gots something to tell ye....




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