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Hello Cthulhu #1


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#1 Guest_Userunfriendly_*

Posted 20 May 2003 - 07:23 AM

As Hellocthul woke up in her cell, she groaned and shook her head, which she immediately determined was a bad mistake...her head ached like the time she tried drinking those 7 annoyingly cheerful dwarves under the table in Baldur's Gate...she felt very bad...

Fortunately for whomever woke her up, it was her sis and best friend in all the world, imoen, the only person who could bring a smile to Hellocthul's face when she was hung over...

Immy: Hellocthul, Wake up!!! We gotta get out of here!! He hurt us so bad, I heard you screaming...and that really scared me, sis, you were somehow blocked from turning into Hello Cthulhu, and squishing that evil, psycho, scum sucking bastard....

Hellocthul: Are you ok, hon?? You don't look so good yourself..immy, I swear that for every single cut and hurt you took at his hands, I will make him regret it for a thousand years, in the Abyss....

Imoen quickly brought Hellocthul up to speed on all that had happened, and in short order, they freed Jaheira and Minsc, and after recovering her dead brother's sword from the Djinn, and promising the dryads they will look for their forest north of Trademeet, they quickly set off for the mirror portal...

The hopes of the party were crushed as they found themselves in another part of the endless dungeon, not the hoped for daylight...

Yoshimo: Hello, my dear friends, are you in league with my captors or are we in the same unfortunate situation, as prisoners of a madman...

Minsc: You know us? You called Hellocthul by her nick name...(as usual Boo covers her mouth with her paw to conceal tinny hamster giggles...eek, eek!!)

Hellocthul: Minsc, my nickname is used as a common greeting, you know, "hello" is a common greeting in Faerun...who are you? My name is Hellocthul....

Yoshimo: My name is Yoshimo, you know, "The" Yoshimo, adventurer and rogue?? I fear that I am in a bad situation, as even my vaunted skills with the sword may not be enough to fight my way to the surface...who are you, my friends???

Jaheira: This is Hellocthul, sorceress and leader, I am Jaheira, I serve the balance as a druid, this is our friend Minsc, the ranger, this is Imoen, our mage and rogue...

Minsc: And dont forget Boo, right Boo??? (squeek, eek...)

Yoshimo: Urm...right..as I was saying, there is strength in numbers, may I join you, in your quest to quit this hell hole???

As Hellocthul nodded, the bounty hunter told them about the swarms of mephits that infested the next room, so the party quickly cast spells of defense and ward, and readied their weapons..

As they carefully opened the door, the rogues in front, Imoen and Yoshimo carefully greasing the leather hinges with some mineral oil Yoshimo carried, to quiet the sounds of the door opening, a chittering screaming flock of flying mephits swarmed out, before they could close the door, and attacked Imoen en-masse...

Hellocthul: Immy!!!

As imoen fell, the pain of the deep bites and scratches of the mephits overcoming her in her already weakened state, Hellocthul saw the world thru a pink haze as she sall her sister fall, bleeding...

Before Yoshimo's shocked gaze, Hellocthul's skin shimmered with incandescent light, and a short cat, pale green with a pair of bat wings and fronds of tentacles hanging from her mouth stood where Hellocthul was, dressed in a sailor school girl outfit...with pink and blue ribbons in her hair...

Hello Cthulhu raised her paw, and started chanting the Hello Cthulhu master spell...

Hello Cthulhu: "...cthulhu ftagn! Chuuuuu..."

6 pink amorpheous masses of goo appeared before her, and quickly Jaheira opened the door to the mephit room, and bent over Imoen to heal her wounds...the shoggoths quickly slithered thru the open door, and before the mephits could attack, they began to change...

Each shoggoth exuded a long pink appendage, shaped like a very long sausage, and each sausage began to twist and knot themselves, as if some unseen entertainer was making balloon animals out of the very body of the pink shoggoths...one shoggoth made a giraffe, one made a bunny rabbit, and another made a kitty cat...as the mephits watched mesmerized, each shoggoth made a balloon animal with its body, then as they all finished, they attacked...the balloon animals were blurringly fast, as they battered the mephits into goo, the shoggoth's wielding the balloon animals as powerful clubs...

Jaheira: Hello Cthulhu! destroy the portals, before more mephits are conjured!!!

Hello Cthulhu made another arcane gesture, and a Deep One, one of the fishy worshippers of Dagon appeared...it reached behind its fins, and pulled out a pair of large snapper fish, and shoved the tail of one snapper into the mouth of the other snapper, and as the second snapper gripped the tail of the first snapper with its teeth, the deep one let out an eldritch kung-fu yell, and wielded its fish-nuunchuks against the portals..

Deep-One: Hyuuuuu---hwaaa!!!!

The deep one wielded its two fish with blurring speed, and soon the mephit portals were shattered, covered in fish scales and guts...

As the last of the mephits died, and the deep one and shoggoths faded away, imoen stood up, fully healed, and carefully hugged Hello Cthulhu, as her body shook...

Immy: Hello Cthulhu, can I have a cookie???

Hello Cthuhu: Chuuuu...

Hello Cthulhu snapped her fingers, and a pink frosted cookie with red and blue sprinkles appeared...Imoen carefully fed Hello Cthulhu most of the cookie, and Hello Cthulhu shimmered again, once again appearing to the world as a lovely, green haired half elf...

Hellocthul: Are you ok??? did we get them all???

Immy: Ya, you sure did, sis...pwew!!! fish guts and pink bubble gum everywhere...oh no...look at Yoshimo...

Yoshimo just stood there, drooling, and the party looked at him in sympathy..

Immy: Gosh, I sure hope we dont lose him like we did Xzar...he met us after you had finished defeating that ogre horde, with those cute, fuzzy wuzzy pink vorpal bunnies...and the sight of you dancing with the bunnies, playing leapfrog and ring around the posy as Hello Cthulhu, with those thousands of fluffy, pink vorpal bunnies, still with their foot long fangs, many of which had ogre blood and ogre bits still clinging to them, that definately unhinged his mind...the last we sall of him, he was raving about the ancient ones and the bunnies...

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