Chapter 3 - The Sun, The Moon, The Stars

 
Title: The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars

Khalid… my love. Were that you were here to steady me. I have never been so alone… so…” Jaheira stumbled as her ardent but distracted stride mistook a loose footing for a secure one. She tumbled to her left and bumped into Arelius, who was quick to steady her. She looked up at him and with a blush to her face, started, “Um, excuse me. I…”

“Don’t worry about it, Jaheira. We’ve been at this all day. Perhaps we should rest before someone makes another misstep. Wouldn’t want to cause undue injury before we get there.”

Why are you always right?

“Any idea how much farther?” asked Aerie from behind Minsc. Jaheira could hear the strain in her voice, and for once agreed with the whine that laced it. She had to admit she was getting tired as well, and it was her foot that misdirected her. Her attention refocused on Arelius.

“’Bout another four hours, if the map is any indication. This fool thing is wrong half the time though. Jaheira, you know this land better than any of us. How much farther?”

I must show strength, Khalid… her thoughts trailed of as she looked out on the horizon, her feet now steady, and her back stiffened with new resolve. “It is as you say. It will be dark soon, and we should make camp. If we continue much longer, we shall be tempted by our fatigue to reach for our goal blindly. It would be wise to avoid such… measures.” She hesitated, shooting a glance at Nalia and Aerie.

“Yes, and I do find myself hungering for something. Minsc, shall we hunt for game?”

“Aye, silent one. We shall seek out tonight’s menu with Boo at our side. He has the nose and shall lead us to glory, well, supper.”

“Good,” Arelius commented. “We’ll make camp there in the clearing. You two split up and circle around. Scout the perimeter. Hopefully you’ll find some game on the way. We’ll get the fire started.”

The party proceeded on and did as instructed with Minsc and Yoshimo holding the perimeter, and Jaheira and Arelius collecting armfuls of firewood. Jaheira was becoming somewhat impatient with her companions as Nalia and Aerie engaged in conversation about the homeless, hair, and other irritating subjects, without helping the immediate situation, as usual. But she stayed her voice and felt comforted by Arelius’s assistance in the task. Not many leaders would get their hands dirty in so meaningless a job.

Into the evening, they rested and shared stories of adventure and frivolity. Few noticed the setting of the sun, but Jaheira stared at its beauty as it fell below the trees. The orange hue of the sun seemed to describe exactly how she felt. Like the orb that slowly disappeared below the tree line, she hoped the hole Khalid had left behind within her would one day vanish.

She couldn’t help but notice Arelius’s attention to her as he did his best to keep her part of the conversation. Often, he would comment humorously to her on the side about the stories the others were telling, trying to get a smile from her. He occasionally succeeded, and her thoughts occasionally went back to the time before their reunion, when her and Khalid shadowed the Bhaal child for the Harpers. Her admiration for him had grown during that time, and he had since done nothing in her company to diminish it.

“A good night, for all.” Arelius directed his thoughts at the group. “But we have a few hours of walking ahead of us in the morning, and we’ll need to be rested if we’re to counter any threats along the way. I suggest you all turn in now. I’ll take first watch.”

“Agreed, Boo and I shall take second. Righteousness shall be secure in the knowledge that we are on guard.”

Jaheira looked on as the party slowly disbanded for the pleasures of rest. She noticed Yoshimo lean over to Nalia, whom he had spent the night slowly maneuvering himself near, and whisper to her. She chuckled to herself as Nalia blushed and then looked at the bounty hunter with feigned surprise.

“Uh, perhaps not. Sorry Yoshimo, but I’m not really… well, lets say I’m in no hurry.” She overheard her say as Nalia smiled at him and got up to move towards Aerie. “Come on, us girls will sleep over here. You…” the mage comically smiled towards Yoshimo, “shall sleep over there.”

“Yes, dear lady. Pleasant dreams.” Jaheira couldn’t help but notice their eyes hold each other for a moment.

Well, that would be a surprise. “I suppose I shall join them on the ‘girls’ side. Goodnight, Arelius.”

“Goodnight, Jaheira.” She looked at him, reacting slightly as he touched her arm. “You going to be ok?”

“Yes, I’m sure I shall. My dreams… are quieting.” She saw the concern in his face and forced a smile. “I shall be fine. Thank you for your concern.”

 

Khalid, oh, my Khalid. Your thoughts are etched upon my soul, my body feels your caresses still. The stars that shine above me, they are nothing compared to the eyes that looked upon me from within you. Never have I seen the twinkle, the gleam of understanding from any other that you showed to me daily. Your strength was mine, and mine yours. Now you are gone from me… on to your reward, and I am left alone.

WHY! My fists are clenched at the fate life has brought me. I would strike it in its face where it to show itself to me, tear its heart from whatever form it would take.

But it eludes me, and takes from me the peace you brought me. Your stuttered words, your clumsily spoken words… they spoke with a force to me like no other. They quieted my anger, brushed aside my fear, and dove deep into my heart.

The tears… they will not stop. They stream from me continuously, though I hold them back, storing them inside for the moments that I shall be alone. Like now. Each time I think of you, I remember what I am missing, and now… now…

Blackness.

“My love, arise.”

My eyes open, and once more I see the specter that haunts my dreams, his face a loving mockery of the last prime image I have of him.

“Khalid? Why do you torment me so? You come to me… yet you stay far from me. I cannot bear these images anymore.”

He reaches out and caresses my cheek, and holds my chin lovingly up, “Jaheira…” my name flows from him and calmness fills me. I look around and there is beauty. The fields I find myself in are filled with wild flowers, with majestic mountains in the distance. Forests join the union of the two, and all around… is serenity. I look once more to him, to see the love in his eyes again.

“All is as it should be. You will understand this. You and I, our time was short, but required. Our love will not fade, and you must go on. There is more for you to do.”

“I cannot, Khalid. I don’t want to go on. I charge into battle each time hoping it will be my last, that the final blow will be struck against me, that I will collapse, and join you here forever.”

“Then why do you not let it?”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Why do you resist the final blow?”

“I do not resist it, it will not come.” My confusion shows on my face as he continues his instruction.

“It has been there many times, my love. Yet you have held it back, blocked it at every advance. You continue to fight, because it is what you must do.”

“Why must I? Why?” I cry, a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Arelius.”

He speaks the name as if it means something to me, wiping the tear from my face. “Arelius?”

“I have studied your thread carefully, as well as his. You are entwined with it in ways yours and mine were never meant to be. I see this now, and I release you to him. You are the balance he needs to succeed, to save so much, and fight the evil that will come. You are the balance that will teach him to control his soul, and his blood. You are the balance of his divided nature.

“His two halves will encompass you and will assault you from both sides. His soul will attack your mind, while his blood will attack your body. Only you have the balance that will unite his halves once more, to make him whole. In doing so, you will save so much more than yourselves; you will save us. The two of you will be as one, and complete.

“Arelius?” I continue my question, and feel the confusion of words that mean little to me.

“Yes, Arelius.” Before me, Khalids face twists, and slowly becomes he whom my love has just spoken of. I look into the face of my companion, and find the love of Khalid reflected in them. His eyes are Khalids. Why have I not seen this before?

I look away, to find where my husband has gone, and I find a chasm stretching forth where once there were fields, and on the other side, Khalid. He stands with arms folded, his love radiating from with him, manifesting itself in a glorious red light. I turn to look at Arelius and find the same color emanating from him, and I look at my hands. I feel it enter within me, and I radiate my own and watch as our love intermingles with each other’s across the divide. Suddenly, the chasm no longer feels like a boundary, but an invitation to a journey, that in somehow crossing it one day, we shall be complete. I… and Arelius.

But the world around us begins to dissolve, and with it, Khalid, smiling as he shares a sign of peace with me, and I feel the memories of what he shared with me withdraw into the recesses of my mind.

“No… no… NO!” I scream and wake to find the concerned face of Arelius gazing at me, his hands to my side, supporting me with strong, secure hands.

“Jaheira? Are you ok? You’re nightmares… they return?”

I pause to think, to remember what had just happened. The world slowly comes into focus.

“No, it was not that bad this time. I dreamed that Khalid was on the other side of a chasm, and he would not cross to me…” I look up to meet his gaze, “to us. He smiled, and he was at peace. I think… I think he is happy where he is, and he was glad that I continue on.”

“Perhaps he is comforted to see you traveling with a party again.”

“No, it was just… just you and me.” He quiets and a comforting smile appears on his face and we sit together for a time. I look up and see the moon shining behind him. Khalid was my sun, the light that filled my days with laughter and security. Perhaps Arelius will be my moon, a guide through the darkness that surrounds me. I must think on these things.