Yes, I know I've been absent for about six months now, but I really wanted to repost the revised version of Dance with Me, now titled Sera's Revenge.
Cheers from Fantysm!
---------
"Will you dance with me?" Sera asked the little boy in front of her. The six-year-old had been reduced to pleading with her best friend. Neddy was so stubborn sometimes!
"Dancing's for girls," he insisted.
Sera's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Neddy?"
Neddy had a fierce glower on his face as he looked anywhere around the ballroom but at her. "No."
"But that's what you're supposed to do at balls," Sera said. "That's what Mommy told me."
"I'm not supposed to be here anyway."
"But I want you to be here. And you should dance so you don't look wrong."
"I look wrong anyway. I don't have the same clothes as you do."
"That's why we're in the corner, under the stairs. No one will see us."
Neddy stopped to think about that for a second, then reverted to his first excuse. "Dancing's for girls."
"But Uncle's not a girl, and he's dancing," Sera said, pointing at her uncle.
Neddy scowled. "Fine."
Sera's face lit up, and she took Neddy's hands. She was very careful not to step on her gown, which had been made just for her out of yellow silk — her favorite color. Sera thought it was very pretty, and her Auntie had even fixed her black hair up all nice.
"I'm never doing this again," Neddy said.
"And I'll never ask you to, either," Sera promised.
---
It was a perfect night, a queenly crescent moon surrounded by her handmaidens, the stars. A thin fog had descended over the grounds. Sixteen-year-old Sera was lying on her back in the damp grass, gazing at the heavens, and Neddy was sitting crosslegged a few feet away. He was carving a nearly-finished statuette with a penknife.
"Remember that night when I asked you to dance, Neddy?"
He stopped whittling. "I remember."
"And you said . . . "
"I said, 'Dancing's for girls.'"
Sera laughed. "You did, didn't you? And I said that you're supposed to dance at balls."
"I did look out of place, you know."
"Come on, Neddy. No one saw you. But I do remember you saying . . ."
"I said that I was never going to dance again. And to that I hold."
Sera stood up, brushing the dew off of her breeches and tunic. She preferred comfortable clothes when she snuck out to talk with Neddy. She was the daughter of a Baroness, and was not allowed to speak with the servants. Sure, she was illegitimate, but only the Baroness and her husband knew that. And they were long dead. "Do you still, Neddy? That was ten years ago."
Neddy shrugged and went back to the figurine, chipping away slivers of wood. "Makes no difference."
"You're too serious, sometimes, you know that, Neddy? Next thing I know, you'll be calling me by my full name!"
"I would never do that, Sera," Neddy said quietly.
"Perhaps not," Sera said. She looked at the stars. "You know, some people say the future's written in the stars."
Neddy snorted. "They're just dots. They come and go every twelve hours. There's nothing magical about that. Speaking of which, how are your studies coming?"
"I've learned a new spell since last week," Sera said, fairly glowing. "Fireball!"
"Wow," Neddy said. "Next you'll be learning how to make yourself invisible, I suppose, and you'll be scarin' me by sneaking up and grabbin' me. I don't think you'll ever grow up completely, Sera."
The sides of Neddy's mouth twitched. Sera spotted it. She couldn't remember what his smile looked like; it had been so long.
"Sera," Neddy said. His voice was usually rough, velvety, but it seemed to have gone hoarse with the mention of her name. "Are you going to be leaving soon?"
"I don't want to leave you, Neddy."
"That's . . . that's not what I meant," he said unconvincingly.
"You've always been a bad liar."
"Shut up. You know me too well."
"Maybe I do, perhaps I don't. It all depends."
"On what?"
"I'm not sure, but it sure sounded better than saying I don't know you."
"What are you going on about? We grew up together. We've been best friends for eleven years or so."
"That's beside the point. Anyway, in answer to your first question: yes, I am leaving soon. Tomorrow, in fact."
"What?! Tomorrow?! Couldn't you have mentioned that earlier?"
Sera's face turned troubled, and her eyes, always dark and expressive, sorrowful. "That's why I snuck out tonight, Neddy. I wanted to say good-bye before I leave." She sat down next to him.
"When are you coming back?"
"Six months, a year. Maybe two."
Neddy's eyes went round. "You can't do this to me, Sera. I don't have anyone else to talk to."
Sera opened her mouth to respond, but Neddy didn't need to hear it. He already knew, and did what he had wanted to do for more than a year. He brushed his lips against hers for scarcely more than a second, and said all he needed to say in that gesture. Then he, Neddy, was there to hold her as she broke into tears.
---
"There will be no correspondence between any members of this Academy and the outside world, lest it upset any member's arcane studies and schoolwork. You belong to me now, my pupils. You belong to me."
Neither the students nor Matron Morldow noticed the sixteen-year-old mage in the corner, weeping.
That was the last time she had cried. A year ago, today. At the moment, Sera was sitting in the corner of her chambers, her knees up to her chest. After that first day at the Academy, she was never sad or sorrowful again. Her soul was caged, and broken, and bleeding. She was too full of rage and anger and fury to feel despair. It was only a matter of time before her repressed emotions were released in a deluge of wrath.
Since that first day, she had cut off her hair, the silky black hair that was the pride and joy of the aunt who had raised her. It framed her face in spikes. She had taken to using kohl to darken her eyelids, giving her already dark eyes a dangerous, smoky appearance.
And Neddy. Against the Matron's wishes, she had written him a long letter and walked two miles to the nearest town to hire a messenger. A week later, his reply came back, and thus began their forbidden correspondence. Then, three months ago, the messenger, Judd, (whom both had become quite friendly with) delivered a package. Inside was the figurine Neddy had carved on the day they'd said their good-byes. Attached to it was a silver blade and a note with those three words she had longed to hear him say, and now, never would: I love you.
That was the last she had heard from Neddy. A week after the knife arrived, Judd met her and told her that Neddy was dead. He had been murdered, witnesses said, by a man with glowing gold eyes.
And, just like now, there were no tears, only rage. Today was the last stage of her transformation. Today she would become what she already knew was true. Today, her name was not Sera --- it was Illasera, and she was a Bhaalspawn.
---
"I've decided I'm going to ask the stone faces in the clearing for advice," Flikka told the group. There were mixed reactions. Viconia leaned back in her chair and studied her nails boredly. Imoen and Keldorn protested loudly.
"I'm coming with you," Jolix and Cernd said in unison.
"I'm going alone," Flikka said.
"No, you're not, seler'ai," Jolix said. "Cernd and I will come with you."
Flikka sighed, raised her eyes to the heavens, and replied, "Fine. You two can come with me."
---
"The storm approaches --- we speak no more." The voices of the stone faces faded away.
"Someone's coming," Jolix said softly. The trio gathered closer to each other as a light rain began to fall over the clearing.
"There!" Flikka said, pointing. A tall, thin woman with chin-length black hair and dark, malevolent eyes approached, catlike in her grace. She was, perhaps, eighteen by human standards. A small, cruel smile touched her mouth.
"Hello, Flikka."
"How do you know me?" Flikka asked shortly.
The woman chuckled. "All the Bhaalspawn of Faerun know you, Flikka. I more so than the others." Her smile disappeared. "You took my revenge from me, Flikka."
"What are you talking about?" Jolix interjected.
"Ah, yes. Jolix. Flikka's faithful companion and brother. Not just a Bhaalspawn half-sibling, but a true, whole, older brother. What chance, what luck Flikka has endured through you."
"What revenge did I steal from you?" Flikka pressed.
"Sarevok," the woman snarled. "You killed him, when it was only I who truly knew what he had taken from me. Because of him, my soul mate died. Because of him, my best friend was killed. He killed my Neddy, and got away with it!"
"He killed my father! Gorion is dead, because of Sarevok! What other reason had I to kill my own sibling?!" Flikka cried.
"Who are you?" Jolix asked suddenly.
"I am Illasera the Quick," Sera said, "Neddy's Sera. I will have my revenge. And never again will I be caged." In a flash, Neddy's dagger was in her hand, and she had driven it into her own chest.
Sera's Revenge
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Guest_Fantysm_*
, May 11 2003 04:13 PM
8 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_Hunter_*
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 04:49 PM
[quote]Yes, I know I've been absent for about six months now, but I really wanted to repost the revised version of Dance with Me, now titled Sera's Revenge.
[/quote]
I remember it.
---------
"Will you dance with me?" Sera asked the little boy in front of her. The six-year-old had been reduced to pleading with her best friend. Neddy was so stubborn sometimes!
[/quote]
[quote]
"Dancing's for girls," he insisted.
[/quote]
At that age it is.
[quote]
Sera's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Neddy?"
[/quote]
That trick is unfair.
[quote]
Sera laughed. "You did, didn't you? And I said that you're supposed to dance at balls."
[/quote]
You have posted this story before.
[quote]
"I've learned a new spell since last week," Sera said, fairly glowing. "Fireball!"
[/quote]
The "old reliable"
[quote]
Sera opened her mouth to respond, but Neddy didn't need to hear it. He already knew, and did what he had wanted to do for more than a year. He brushed his lips against hers for scarcely more than a second, and said all he needed to say in that gesture. Then he, Neddy, was there to hold her as she broke into tears.
[/quote]
Awwwww.
[quote]
That was the last she had heard from Neddy. A week after the knife arrived, Judd met her and told her that Neddy was dead. He had been murdered, witnesses said, by a man with glowing gold eyes.
[/quote]
Nooooooo!
[quote]
"Sarevok," the woman snarled. "You killed him, when it was only I who truly knew what he had taken from me. Because of him, my soul mate died. Because of him, my best friend was killed. He killed my Neddy, and got away with it!"
[/quote]
He has hurt a lot of people.
[quote]
"I am Illasera the Quick," Sera said, "Neddy's Sera. I will have my revenge. And never again will I be caged." In a flash, Neddy's dagger was in her hand, and she had driven it into her own chest.[/quote]
Sad.
[/quote]
I remember it.
---------
"Will you dance with me?" Sera asked the little boy in front of her. The six-year-old had been reduced to pleading with her best friend. Neddy was so stubborn sometimes!
[/quote]
[quote]
"Dancing's for girls," he insisted.
[/quote]
At that age it is.
[quote]
Sera's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Neddy?"
[/quote]
That trick is unfair.
[quote]
Sera laughed. "You did, didn't you? And I said that you're supposed to dance at balls."
[/quote]
You have posted this story before.
[quote]
"I've learned a new spell since last week," Sera said, fairly glowing. "Fireball!"
[/quote]
The "old reliable"
[quote]
Sera opened her mouth to respond, but Neddy didn't need to hear it. He already knew, and did what he had wanted to do for more than a year. He brushed his lips against hers for scarcely more than a second, and said all he needed to say in that gesture. Then he, Neddy, was there to hold her as she broke into tears.
[/quote]
Awwwww.
[quote]
That was the last she had heard from Neddy. A week after the knife arrived, Judd met her and told her that Neddy was dead. He had been murdered, witnesses said, by a man with glowing gold eyes.
[/quote]
Nooooooo!
[quote]
"Sarevok," the woman snarled. "You killed him, when it was only I who truly knew what he had taken from me. Because of him, my soul mate died. Because of him, my best friend was killed. He killed my Neddy, and got away with it!"
[/quote]
He has hurt a lot of people.
[quote]
"I am Illasera the Quick," Sera said, "Neddy's Sera. I will have my revenge. And never again will I be caged." In a flash, Neddy's dagger was in her hand, and she had driven it into her own chest.[/quote]
Sad.
#3
Laufey
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 05:06 PM
Hey, Fantysm! Good to see you! 
I remember this story, and I really liked this revised version, it made things fit together more smoothly than in the previous one. Poor Illaseera...a tragic tale indeed.
I remember this story, and I really liked this revised version, it made things fit together more smoothly than in the previous one. Poor Illaseera...a tragic tale indeed.
Rogues do it from behind.
#4
Guest_The Blue Sorceress_*
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 06:30 PM
Sad! Stupid Sarevok. That's one good reason to kill him and raise him again and again and again: so that those who want revenge against him can have it. Anyway, I really liked this revised version of your story. I read the first one, and liked it too, but this is much better.
Good job,
-Blue
Good job,
-Blue
#5
Guest_Fantysm_*
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 08:27 PM
Thanks to all of you for replying . . . I actually enjoyed revising it, and I think it fits better this way. Truth be told, the ending (Sera's suicide) was a surprise even to me, but I like it better than the one I had planned.
#6
Guest_Oryx_*
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 08:50 PM
Yes, I know I've been absent for about six months now, but I really wanted to repost the revised version of Dance with Me, now titled Sera's Revenge.
Cheers from Fantysm!
---------
"Will you dance with me?" Sera asked the little boy in front of her. The six-year-old had been reduced to pleading with her best friend. Neddy was so stubborn sometimes!
"Dancing's for girls," he insisted.
But boys need to dance with them
Sera's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Neddy?"
Neddy had a fierce glower on his face as he looked anywhere around the ballroom but at her. "No."
"But that's what you're supposed to do at balls," Sera said. "That's what Mommy told me."
"I'm not supposed to be here anyway."
"But I want you to be here. And you should dance so you don't look wrong."
"I look wrong anyway. I don't have the same clothes as you do."
"That's why we're in the corner, under the stairs. No one will see us."
aww
Neddy stopped to think about that for a second, then reverted to his first excuse. "Dancing's for girls."
You'll think different when you're a little older! Very different!
"But Uncle's not a girl, and he's dancing," Sera said, pointing at her uncle.
LOL
"Perhaps not," Sera said. She looked at the stars. "You know, some people say the future's written in the stars."
'Not all our coins land on their edges' as they say
Neddy snorted. "They're just dots. They come and go every twelve hours. There's nothing magical about that. Speaking of which, how are your studies coming?"
"I've learned a new spell since last week," Sera said, fairly glowing. "Fireball!"
Illasera's a pure mage, right? Is she a specialist?
Sera opened her mouth to respond, but Neddy didn't need to hear it. He already knew, and did what he had wanted to do for more than a year. He brushed his lips against hers for scarcely more than a second, and said all he needed to say in that gesture. Then he, Neddy, was there to hold her as she broke into tears.
awww
---
"There will be no correspondence between any members of this Academy and the outside world, lest it upset any member's arcane studies and schoolwork. You belong to me now, my pupils. You belong to me."
whoa
Neither the students nor Matron Morldow noticed the sixteen-year-old mage in the corner, weeping.
That was the last time she had cried. A year ago, today. At the moment, Sera was sitting in the corner of her chambers, her knees up to her chest. After that first day at the Academy, she was never sad or sorrowful again. Her soul was caged, and broken, and bleeding. She was too full of rage and anger and fury to feel despair. It was only a matter of time before her repressed emotions were released in a deluge of wrath.
mmhmm
Since that first day, she had cut off her hair, the silky black hair that was the pride and joy of the aunt who had raised her. It framed her face in spikes. She had taken to using kohl to darken her eyelids, giving her already dark eyes a dangerous, smoky appearance.
she is becoming Illasera the Quick
And Neddy. Against the Matron's wishes, she had written him a long letter and walked two miles to the nearest town to hire a messenger. A week later, his reply came back, and thus began their forbidden correspondence. Then, three months ago, the messenger, Judd, (whom both had become quite friendly with) delivered a package. Inside was the figurine Neddy had carved on the day they'd said their good-byes. Attached to it was a silver blade and a note with those three words she had longed to hear him say, and now, never would: I love you.
awwwww
That was the last she had heard from Neddy. A week after the knife arrived, Judd met her and told her that Neddy was dead. He had been murdered, witnesses said, by a man with glowing gold eyes.
oh my....what would Sarevok want with him? Trying to get to Sera, I guess?
And, just like now, there were no tears, only rage. Today was the last stage of her transformation. Today she would become what she already knew was true. Today, her name was not Sera --- it was Illasera, and she was a Bhaalspawn.
She has joined the Dark Side!
---
"I've decided I'm going to ask the stone faces in the clearing for advice," Flikka told the group. There were mixed reactions. Viconia leaned back in her chair and studied her nails boredly. Imoen and Keldorn protested loudly.
Yay! Flikka's back.
"I'm coming with you," Jolix and Cernd said in unison.
"I'm going alone," Flikka said.
"No, you're not, seler'ai," Jolix said. "Cernd and I will come with you."
Flikka sighed, raised her eyes to the heavens, and replied, "Fine. You two can come with me."
Against 3, Illasera still has no chance
Next time I do ToB, I need to download that Ascension mod---
"The storm approaches --- we speak no more." The voices of the stone faces faded away.
"Someone's coming," Jolix said softly. The trio gathered closer to each other as a light rain began to fall over the clearing.
"There!" Flikka said, pointing. A tall, thin woman with chin-length black hair and dark, malevolent eyes approached, catlike in her grace. She was, perhaps, eighteen by human standards. A small, cruel smile touched her mouth.
It's not too late Sera! You can turn back!
"Hello, Flikka."
"How do you know me?" Flikka asked shortly.
The woman chuckled. "All the Bhaalspawn of Faerun know you, Flikka. I more so than the others." Her smile disappeared. "You took my revenge from me, Flikka."
ahhhh...it was Sarevok
"Sarevok," the woman snarled. "You killed him, when it was only I who truly knew what he had taken from me. Because of him, my soul mate died. Because of him, my best friend was killed. He killed my Neddy, and got away with it!"
"He killed my father! Gorion is dead, because of Sarevok! What other reason had I to kill my own sibling?!" Flikka cried.
"Who are you?" Jolix asked suddenly.
"I am Illasera the Quick," Sera said, "Neddy's Sera. I will have my revenge. And never again will I be caged." In a flash, Neddy's dagger was in her hand, and she had driven it into her own chest.
awwwwww...so sad!
Good story. Improved alot since Dance With Me (which was good to begin wtih).
#7
Weyoun
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Posted 11 May 2003 - 08:53 PM
Yes, I know I've been absent for about six months now, but I really wanted to repost the revised version of Dance with Me, now titled Sera's Revenge.
Hey, Fantysm! I remember that story. And, here's hoping you'll be for a longer stay now.
Cheers from Fantysm!
---------
"Will you dance with me?" Sera asked the little boy in front of her. The six-year-old had been reduced to pleading with her best friend. Neddy was so stubborn sometimes!
"Dancing's for girls," he insisted.
Sera's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Neddy?"
Awww, how cute.
"Remember that night when I asked you to dance, Neddy?"
He stopped whittling. "I remember."
"And you said . . . "
"I said, 'Dancing's for girls.'"
Sera laughed. "You did, didn't you? And I said that you're supposed to dance at balls."
"I did look out of place, you know."
"Come on, Neddy. No one saw you. But I do remember you saying . . ."
"I said that I was never going to dance again. And to that I hold."
Indeed? Well, let's see about that...
"I would never do that, Sera," Neddy said quietly.
"Perhaps not," Sera said. She looked at the stars. "You know, some people say the future's written in the stars."
Neddy snorted. "They're just dots. They come and go every twelve hours. There's nothing magical about that. Speaking of which, how are your studies coming?"
Funny that. I don't see any magic in stars, but instead I see strange new worlds. Stars are alluring that way.
"Six months, a year. Maybe two."
Neddy's eyes went round. "You can't do this to me, Sera. I don't have anyone else to talk to."
Sera opened her mouth to respond, but Neddy didn't need to hear it. He already knew, and did what he had wanted to do for more than a year. He brushed his lips against hers for scarcely more than a second, and said all he needed to say in that gesture. Then he, Neddy, was there to hold her as she broke into tears.
*sniff* A sad goodbye...
---
"There will be no correspondence between any members of this Academy and the outside world, lest it upset any member's arcane studies and schoolwork. You belong to me now, my pupils. You belong to me."
Ah, this academy is fascism central, it seems.
That was the last she had heard from Neddy. A week after the knife arrived, Judd met her and told her that Neddy was dead. He had been murdered, witnesses said, by a man with glowing gold eyes.
Argh, dammit!
"Ah, yes. Jolix. Flikka's faithful companion and brother. Not just a Bhaalspawn half-sibling, but a true, whole, older brother. What chance, what luck Flikka has endured through you."
"What revenge did I steal from you?" Flikka pressed.
"Sarevok," the woman snarled. "You killed him, when it was only I who truly knew what he had taken from me. Because of him, my soul mate died. Because of him, my best friend was killed. He killed my Neddy, and got away with it!"
"He killed my father! Gorion is dead, because of Sarevok! What other reason had I to kill my own sibling?!" Flikka cried.
"Who are you?" Jolix asked suddenly.
"I am Illasera the Quick," Sera said, "Neddy's Sera. I will have my revenge. And never again will I be caged." In a flash, Neddy's dagger was in her hand, and she had driven it into her own chest.
Yikes! Poor Sera! A tragic, very well-written tale.
---Weyoun
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers
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Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.
Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!
---
"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi
---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.
Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!
---
"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi
#9
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Posted 12 May 2003 - 12:26 AM
This was excellent!!! I really like seeing the perspective from one of the 5, and I hope you do the others, like yagashura and sendai.
I particularly liked the way you handled sera's grief...she didn't have a long, angsty and ranting self dialog about why she is going to be bad, you simply and elegantly explained the effects of her internal dialog...
and I really liked the ending...it was a surprise and shocker...I liked how sera was really hunting the child of bhaal for her own purposes, using her "revenge" as a means of keeping herself alive until she can close the chapter on her own life...
she knew flikka had just as valid a reason to kill saravok as she did, and when her revenge was taken from her, so was any reason for her own survival....
now the interesting thing is, after the grove of the talking heads, saravok gets restored to life, and in ascention, illsera is summoned by mel to fight the child....what happens???!!! how would sera feel about being resurrected to fight the pc, and finding out saravok is with them, or that saravok is alive because of the pc???
I particularly liked the way you handled sera's grief...she didn't have a long, angsty and ranting self dialog about why she is going to be bad, you simply and elegantly explained the effects of her internal dialog...
and I really liked the ending...it was a surprise and shocker...I liked how sera was really hunting the child of bhaal for her own purposes, using her "revenge" as a means of keeping herself alive until she can close the chapter on her own life...
she knew flikka had just as valid a reason to kill saravok as she did, and when her revenge was taken from her, so was any reason for her own survival....
now the interesting thing is, after the grove of the talking heads, saravok gets restored to life, and in ascention, illsera is summoned by mel to fight the child....what happens???!!! how would sera feel about being resurrected to fight the pc, and finding out saravok is with them, or that saravok is alive because of the pc???
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