Throne Of Cards 69 – The Giant’s Treasure
I’d run into a few Evil Overlords and I thought nothing about their design choices could surprise me anymore. Boy, was I wrong.
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’
“…so, three Bhaalspawn walk into a fire giant’s bedroom, right? And the first one says, ‘This bed is so hot, it slays me.’ Get that? Slays me?” Imoen waited hopefully for her siblings to respond, adding some extra flourish to her gestures as she spoke.
“Regrettably so.” Sarevok’s voice sounded more monotonous than usual, as if he wished he were anywhere but here.
“And then the second one says ‘Ha ha, that’s nothing. This bed is so hot it makes me want to spawn a score of mortal progeny.’ But then the third one says…”
“While the two of you were arguing, I got busy conquering the world so now both the bed and your asses belong to me?”
“RINI!” Imoen huffed. “Don’t spoil the punchline for him, he hasn’t heard that one before!”
Sarevok’s large fists clenched tightly in the masses of bright red sheets he was sorting through, and something akin to a sigh of despair emerged from his mouth. “I thought the Abyss was bad. But you, my dear sisters, could teach its residents a thing or two.”
“Aw, that’s sweet of you to say!” Imoen said with her best and brightest grin. “And you laughed, admit it.”
“I did not.”
“Did too. I could see your mouth twitching. Rini agrees with me, don’t you, Rini?”
“Twitching like crazy,” her sister said, not looking up. “Oh hey, I found something! Look here.”
Imoen and Sarevok both awkwardly scooted closer across the large bed, reminding Imoen of how sometimes when she was little, she’d snuck into her sister’s bedroom at night so they could sleep in the same bed. Or, well, not so much sleep as talk and listen to Rini tell her stories. Right now, her sister was sitting cross-legged near the top of the bed, pointing at something she’d found behind the mountain of pillows. It was a flat panel, part of the bedframe itself. It had only one feature, a large indentation in the shape of a hand.
“Let’s see what else we have,” Sarevok said. “Get off the bed for a second.” Once Zaerini and Imoen had landed on the ground, the big man grabbed hold of the remaining bedlinen, mattress and all, and hurled the lot onto the floor. The bed was now fully visible, and its oddities even more obvious than before. It wasn’t just its size, or that it was round. It was that it didn’t really look much like a bed at all, more like a huge, round slab of rock. Maybe Yaga-Shura has a bad back?
“It’s not really a bed, is it?” She said, as she thought it over. “Or, I mean, maybe he uses it for a bed, but it’s definitely built to be something else as well.”
Her sister nodded. “Now let’s see if we can make it wake up. There’s that handprint…I bet that’s built specifically to match Yaga-Shura. We need to figure out a way to trick it into thinking we’re him.”
Imoen moved closer, to study the handprint more carefully. “It’s totally smooth,” She said. “No fingerprints, so that’s something. But he wouldn’t want any old giant to be able to use it either, wouldn’t he? So it won’t be enough to find some giant and cut a big hand off.” She thought some more. This was kind of like lockpicking, in a way. You needed to think your way through it. “He’s a Bhaalspawn giant. So, maybe it’ll be triggered by being of the right bloodline?”
Sarevok shrugged, pulled off his mailed glove and touched his hand to the imprint. Nothing at all happened.
“No, wait,” Imoen said, frowning with annoyance. “That was stupid of me. He wouldn’t want just any Bhaalspawn to wander into his bedroom and take his stuff, would he?”
“Speaking of which,” Sarevok said, “was it really necessary to steal my own private and may I add completely personal diary as you were ransacking my stronghold back in Baldur’s Gate? That’s low, just so you know it.”
“Oh, that wasn’t us,” Zaerini said, a little absently. “That was Vadrak. He just passed it onto me as a favour.”
“Perfect. Just perfect. Remind me to thank him later. Did you arrange nightly readings of it to the entire party for entertainment or just amuse yourselves in private?”
“Hey, it wasn’t as if we did it to be mean, we just wanted to figure out how to kill you! And it wasn’t all that fun either, just so you know. Just what was with that phase when you did ‘Mood Status Updates’ each day? Especially since they were all just angry faces.”
Sarevok coughed. “Winski suggested I should try to get in touch with my emotions. In retrospect I’m not entirely sure if it was a good idea or not.”
“Hey guys,” Imoen interrupted. “Idea! So, if this won’t be opened by just any fire giant, and not just any Bhaalspawn, what does that leave? A fire giant Bhaalspawn, that’s what it leaves us. One with big hands, and a high body temperature.”
“Sure,” Her sister admitted. “But we don’t have one of those.”
“Nope, but you are a Bhaalspawn who can make her hands light up with fire, aren’t you? And you can make yourself bigger too.”
“The Slayer,” Zaerini said with a quick wince. “Ugh. You’re right though, my paws in that shape would be big enough. And I’ve got a Burning Hands spell to give myself the right body temperature. I’m just not sure if I can cast a spell in that shape and keep control of the Slayer at the same time. I don’t want to hurt either of you by mistake.”
“You can do it, sis. We both trust you with this, don’t we Sarry?”
Sarevok winced. “What did you just call me?”
“It suits you. Anyway, you agree with me, just tell her.”
The big man rolled his eyes. “Fine. Fine. As long as it shuts you up.” He turned to Zaerini. “Dear sister, of all our siblings you are the one I trust the most not to turn into a ravening maniac bent on disemboweling as you partake of our sire’s power.” He grabbed Imoen by the arm and hauled her towards the door. “Consider us standing out of claw range a paranoid precaution if you will.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” The red-head closed her eyes, her face going peculiarly still, a very unusual thing for her. Then her form…blurred, and shifted. Fur sprouted, claws grew, fangs protruded and then the Slayer opened her burning hot eyes, snarling quietly.
“Rini?” Imoen whispered, her stomach twisting nervously. “The spell. Remember the spell?”
The Slayer’s tail lashed quickly back and forth and she raised a paw in warning. Imoen found herself shoved behind her brother as Sarevok put his hand on his sword.
“Don’t hurt her!”
“I won’t unless she lunges,” Sarevok growled, not taking his eyes off the prowling Slayer. “Pray it won’t come to that.”
The Slayer’s eyes narrowed, and her snout wrinkled as she silently bared her teeth. Even so, she wasn’t attacking, and as she placed a large paw against the indentation on the bed Imoen could see it glowing white with heat. There was a deep rumble, and the top of the bed slid aside, revealing a multitude of glowing lights, panels and dials even as the Slayer shimmered and collapsed to the ground, leaving a stunned half-elf behind. Imoen and Sarevok leapt forward simultaneously to catch her, and all three siblings ended up tangled together in a confused pile until they could sort themselves out.
“Remind me never to do that again if I can help it,” Zaerini said once she was able to speak rather than hiss or growl. “I had to prepare all but the last motions of the spell, then hold onto that as I gave into Bhaal and then keep both the spell and the Slayer under control at the same time.” She shuddered. “I nearly lost it.”
“I’m so sorry, Rini,” Imoen said, hanging her head. “I didn’t think of what I was asking.”
Her sister gave her a quick hug. “Eh, don’t worry about it. It worked, didn’t it? And if you hadn’t thought of it, I probably would have. Shall we see what we’ve uncovered here?”
“Let’s,” Sarevok said. “For one thing, the others probably will require our assistance before long. It wouldn’t surprise me if they got into trouble in our absence.”
-*-
Viconia hadn’t much liked this fire giant palace in the first place. It was entirely too warm, the zombies were disgracefully disorganized and the interior decorating left much to be desired, mostly combinations of dull grey rock and molten lava. Would it be too much to hope for that the stronghold belonging to the next deranged Bhaalspawn we go after is pleasantly dark? Maybe a few tasteful magical lights. With a more varied assortment of monsters. Being separated from the party’s leader was also bothersome. It wasn’t that she didn’t think her own half of the group could get on just fine for a while, they were all reasonably competent in their own ways – if occasionally erratic. But she had promised Zaerini to aid her, and so she should be by the young one’s side above any other. Well. That particular young one. It’s not as if any of them are even remotely close to two hundred yet. She was of course aware that humans counted such things differently, but it still sometimes felt as if she were the lone adult trying to keep a gaggle of toddlers from wandering off and letting themselves get crushed, burned, eaten or electrocuted. This was one of those times.
As Minsc kicked the large door open, Viconia leapt nimbly to one side, avoiding the wave of heat that burst forth. Then she had a mere few seconds to react to what came charging out. Tall shapes, not as tall as the giants but entirely wreathed in flames. They were vaguely man shaped, but with featureless burning faces and arms that ended in leaping flames. Then there were the cats. As large as tigers, they seemed more corporeal than the burning men, with hints of black fur, long teeth and sharp claws. Even so, manes of flame flickered around their heads and along their backs, and as they roared they breathed even more fire. Finally there was a lone giant, but a particularly large and unpleasant looking one, wearing dull grey and very heavy armor and wielding a massive twohanded axe. It, too, was on fire. An enchantment most likely, but there was definitely fire crawling along that wicked edge. I dare say I detect a certain theme here.
That was all the conscious thought she had time for, before she leapt into action. Surprise battles weren’t her favourite pastime by any means, she preferred ample time for preparation, but she certainly had seen enough combat to know what to do. Evaluate the situation first, then triage.
Edwin had had the presence of mind to cast a slowing spell as the monsters first burst through the door, a spray of icy cold that made the first burning man shriek, hiss and falter. He had followed that up with his own protective magical shields – presumably at least one of those would protect against fire. Good. That should buy some time as long as he doesn’t outright tunnel vision and go stand in the fire.
Dekaras had managed to leap out of the way of the charging fire monsters and was currently circling them warily, clearly cautious of entering a melee that was about to become a roaring inferno. He had attracted the attention of one of the large cats though, and the beast was trying to stalk him but had so far been frustrated by the assassin’s ability to dodge out of the way. He can probably hold his own for a while longer. Besides, the meatshield has priority. Along with myself, of course. That wasn’t just self-interest either, but practical calculations. If she were to go down, the others would have no healing backup. But first Minsc, who was holding the line against two burning men at once, slashing away at them while he roared as loudly as the angry cats. This meant that the remaining monsters were still trapped in the other room, and unable to come through, and that was probably the greatest tactical advantage to preserve. Two or three at a time we can handle, but we want to avoid all of them at once if we can help it. So she hurried to cast as many protective and enhancing spells as she could on Minsc, with fire protection the first and most obvious priority. Then some fire protection on herself, and then it was time for a new inventory. Edwin had managed to launch another spell directly into the room, and now it was hailing in there, large blocks of ice falling from…well from the ceiling probably, it wasn’t as if there was an open sky in here. The monsters trapped inside the room certainly didn’t like that, and while they were all still standing they were definitely starting to look uncomfortable. Minsc was also still standing, but bleeding and struggling from a nasty legwound, almost down on one knee. Viconia hurried to channel healing magic into the large man, feeling satisfaction as it neatly knitted torn muscle and sinew together, and once she finished the ranger was holding his sword in firm hands once more, his colour back to normal. Unfortunately it seemed her voice and movement had drawn the attention of the burning cat that had been chasing after Dekaras, and now it was coming for her instead, so close she could feel the heat from its mouth and smell its acrid breath. She was just raising her own weapon and shield, well aware that she wouldn’t have time to cast anything else before it was upon her when the cat sank to the ground with a confused whine, the light dying in its eyes. Viconia and Dekaras exchanged a brief nod as the assassin yanked one of his many daggers out of the dead cat’s neck, and then she followed that up with another spell, fire protection for him as well.
Very good. Initial triage done. Now, are we stable?
Not entirely perhaps, but things were looking up. She healed Minsc once again, then set about casting all of the spells she had that could enhance the group’s strength, speed, reflexes and endurance, starting with those that would affect everybody at once. Now and then she had to pause to heal somebody, but eventually she was done. By now Edwin had dropped a few more spells into the group of monsters trapped behind the door, and Dekaras had joined Minsc in the melee, endlessly frustrating the cats and burning men trying to get at him in his position behind the wildly swinging ranger. The monsters were dropping now, one by one, until there was only the large fire giant left. She could focus on lighter healing, and on adding her own more crippling and damaging spells to help bring the giant down. Eventually it too fell, pierced, stabbed, leeched, and poisoned. Minsc took some time to saw through the thick neck with his sword, to keep it from reanimating, and then they were all done. She took a deep breath, and wiped her sweaty white hair away from her brow.
“Hmpf, I don’t know what you are so winded for,” Edwin huffed. “Some of us did the heavy lifting around here, you know. And would it be too much to ask for some healing once in a while?”
Viconia felt a certain dark sense of glee as she punched him in the nose.
-*-
“So…” Imoen said. “Either of you got any idea how to run this thing?”
Zaerini eyed the multitude of flashing lights, complicated indicators and cryptic buttons dotting the control panel that had been hidden inside Yaga-Shura’s bed, and then gave a quick shrug. “It kind of reminds me of the Planar Sphere, a little bit. But I didn’t drive that, Eddie did.”
“Didn’t you also mention that he crashed it into some moon or other?” Sarevok said.
“Well, yeah. The private moon belonging to a certain stuck up annoying old wizard, sure. That’s part of the reason why he’s so mad with us, even if it was a complete and total accident that time.”
“That time?”
“The cow thing wasn’t an accident, I guess.” The bard sniffed. “He totally had that one coming though.”
“I guess we’ll just have to wing it,” Imoen said. “Since there isn’t an instruction manual or anything.” Before either of her siblings could protest, she reached out and pressed the biggest, reddest button she could spot. There was a brief flash of light, which coalesced into a cone, and then a globe, spinning gently through the air above the bed. Inside the globe there were lines of coloured light, and larger and smaller shapes moving around.
“That…looks a bit like a map, doesn’t it?” Zaerini said, cocking her head to one side as she viewed the lights. “Yes, it is. See, there’s the main entrance to the fortress, and that blue bit over there is the big hall where we lost track of the others. Too bad I don’t see any obvious hints to where they are, or where those hearts are either.”
“How was it that rhyme went again?” Sarevok asked.
“Ah, let’s see. It was ‘Inside chest with no lock or key, inside the one soaring free. Inside the swift, inside the stout. Heart’s blood the key that will draw them all out.’”
“Hm, I may be no mage, but it seems to go backwards. ‘Heart’s blood the key that will draw them all out.’ That assuredly means the blood must come first.” The warrior sighed. “Pity we didn’t hold onto that chained woman. I wager Yaga-Shura kept her here as the key to the puzzle, and ripping her still beating heart out of her chest and dripping the blood into an appropriate receptacle would have triggered something interesting.” He paused, and gave his two sisters a confused look. “What? It seems logical enough to me.”
“No ripping hearts out of chained prisoners,” Rini firmly stated. “And that’s an order.”
“She’s gone now anyway,” Imoen said. “Besides, I think the riddle probably isn’t that literal.”
Her sister nodded. “I agree. And I think I may know what it does mean, at least that first bit.” She pointed at the lower part of the map, under the actual rooms of the fortress, deep inside the mountain. There were red globs of light there, sloshing about in a liquid manner. “The heart of the mountain. And inside of it, the blood of the mountain.”
“Lava,” Imoen breathed. “It kinda makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, he’s even got lava in here, in his bedroom. So Yaga-Shura built his lair on top of a very active volcano?”
“Looks like it. But the big question is, what are we supposed to do with it? He wouldn’t want to blow his castle up every time he needed to get to his treasures, but the lava has to be meant to go somewhere.” She pointed at the map again. “Notice those thin lines crisscrossing the whole thing? I bet those are some sort of pipes. And I bet these controls can move the lava, and make it activate…something. The question is where, and what. Oh, and how.”
The three of them paused to look at the map again. “I would say we are here,” Sarevok said, pointing. “Look, that room is more brightly lit than the others, and it seems to fit with the layout of the fortress. The woman we freed said there was something valuable in the next room over, behind that door we couldn’t get through.” He pointed again. “Do you notice that? That room does not even have any doors marked on the map.”
“I think that’s our prize. Now, what do we…”
“Oh!” Imoen exclaimed as an idea blazed brightly in her mind. “Let me, let me!” She reached out and pulled a certain lever on the original control panel. The bed immediately started to rumble, then vibrate, then outright shake. On the map, the bubbling red ‘lava’ was gradually rising, then seeping into the spider web of pipes.
“Immy?!” Zaerini said, her head whipping around so quickly her flame-red hair nearly got stuck in her mouth. “What…”
“It’s obvious,” Imoen proudly proclaimed, putting a hand on her chest. “The one that said ‘Mama’s Boy’, of course. Don’t tell me you both forgot what we’re after, the hearts of Yaga-Shura and his mumsy Nyalee.”
“Very clever,” Sarevok said, and then, as she beamed at him, “Except the fortress is now gradually filling with lava. Perhaps you should have waited until you knew how to actually control it.”
Imoen looked at the map, her mouth slightly open. Certainly the red was spreading, and rather quickly. “Oh.” She smiled feebly. “Ooops?”
-*-
“Surely there has to be something that can be done. I refuse to believe we are stumped by a mere door.” Viconia gave the door in question an angry glare. Having dealt with the monsters present, her part of the party had found themselves in a guardroom of sorts. There were stone chairs and abandoned plates of charcoal that had presumably been the burning men’s supper, an even larger chair that had to belong to the giant, and pens for the cats. The feeding troughs in those pens contained large chunks of meat, and in one case a leg that was still wearing a boot. Apparently the giants believed in making good use of any hapless wanderer who happened upon their stronghold. At the other end of the room there was a very large metal door, currently closed and locked, and that was it.
“I like to believe I can open most locks, given enough time,” Dekaras said as he straightened up from his kneeling position where he had been examining the door. “Unfortunately this door doesn’t have one, in the regular sense. Nor does it have a handle, or even any visible door hinges.”
“Nor is there any latent spell to be triggered,” Edwin added. He was also stood over by the offending door, gently running his fingers across it as he probed it for hidden magic. “Which makes sense, if we believe that Yaga-Shura’s heart lies beyond. He would want to take extreme precautions with that. There has to be some other way to open it.”
“Minsc’s foot still hurts.”
Viconia sighed. “Consider it a lesson learned,” She told the large man. “Don’t try kicking it again, I’m running low on healing spells and unless you outright break something I will not heal it.” She looked around the room again, absently wiping her forehead. It was so hot in here, it was hard to think, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better.
“Mind you,” Dekaras said, pursing his lips in thought as he studied the door. “There is something I could try. You may not like it though, and I cannot make any promises that it will work.”
“Yes?” Viconia asked. “What would that be?”
“Simply this. If the door is that strongly fortified, how about if we try going through the wall instead?”
Edwin startled slightly. “I may have an ethereality spell available, but not memorized. We may not have eight hours at our disposal and even if we did it would affect only one person.” He gave the assassin a stern look. “And I do not find the idea of you getting stuck behind that wall even remotely entertaining. (Or worse, inside of it.)”
“Good thing that isn’t what I was suggesting, isn’t it?” Dekaras took two small clay containers out of some pocket or belt that Viconia entirely failed to spot. “This is a little subtle something I bought before we left. I must admit, I have been looking forward to an opportune moment to try it out. You see, each component by itself is entirely inert and harmless, one is ammonium nitrate and the other one is…” He paused as he surveyed the blank faces of his companions. “To get to the point, once mixed together, they form a powerful explosive. The resounding blast will be more powerful than what could be achieved by magic, even. Why bother with the door when we can bypass it completely? It’s not as if we have a particular need for stealth right now, the zombies are far behind us.”
“You want to blow the door up?” Viconia asked, mulling the idea over. It…did have a certain appeal even if she could think of some potential drawbacks. Edwin was gaping silently at the assassin as if he had grown a second head.
“Not the door, it is probably very much strengthened against various forms of attack. I was thinking the wall next to it. That looks far less sturdy.”
“Agreed,” Viconia said. “And it doesn’t seem to be a loadbearing one either. As long as we take some precautions against flying shrapnel and debris. That dead giant should serve admirably as insulation.”
“Minsc agrees too! My good friend from Rasheman and I will avenge ourselves upon this Evil Door with one righteous big boom!”
Edwin was still staring, mouth open. “You…are you feeling entirely well?” He asked Dekaras. “This seems unlike you.”
“Never better. And what have I told you many times about using whatever means is more appropriate to achieve one’s ends? That you’ve never seen me blow something up doesn’t mean I won’t if that’s what we need.”
Edwin gave in at that, although he was still looking very concerned.
“Well then,” Viconia said. “Let’s get to work.” She pointed imperiously. “By which I mean, you gentlemen can get to work hauling that corpse over here, while I prepare some extra shielding, just in case.”
A short while later the large giant’s corpse had been propped up against the wall, right next to the door, with some dead fire cats on top of him for extra measure as well as hay from the cats’ pens. Dekaras carefully poured the contents of one of his containers into the other one and then proceeded to shake it gently. “Not to worry,” He said at the startled gasps that met this behavior. “It would take more than this to detonate it, I’m just making preparations. We could do with some form of fuse, in fact.”
“Here,” Viconia said, tearing a strip of cloth off the dead giant’s shirt. “This should do nicely. Now remember, all of you, as soon as that fuse is lit, you move to the other end of the room.” She looked across her shoulder. “I would say move out of the room, but that corridor seems to filling with lava, for some reason. We had best hurry if we don’t want to be caught between the fire and the explosion.”
Dekaras nodded, and once the others had all moved as far back as possible, he took out a tinderbox and gingerly lit the improvised fuse. As soon as the first flame sparked, he was already running, and he slid under the edges of Viconia’s shield just as she slammed it down. She couldn’t provide complete protection this way, but at least she would be able to take the edges off the…
The world shook, and the resounding boom was something she felt rather than heard, a deep pressure in her chest and guts accompanied by a blinding flash of light. Her shield quivered and tensed, and she clung to it desperately, even as a hailstorm of rock, metal shrapnel and other, softer things struck it. Mostly the shield held, she could divert at least the lethal projectiles, and then it was suddenly over and she let it go with a pained gasp for air. She blinked, trying to see, the faces of her companions blurry outlines. She could hear nothing at first, other than a faint ringing in her ears.
“…it work?” Edwin was saying when her hearing returned. He, as well as the others, were covered in what seemed to be a layer of grime and rock dust, mixed with squelchy chunks.
Viconia got to her feet, trying to get her bearings. The giant’s corpse was gone, completely obliterated, and she had a sneaking suspicion parts of it were now stuck in her hair. Fortunately, a large chunk of the wall was also obliterated, along with part of the door. She couldn’t see much of what lay beyond, but it had to be better than the lava quickly creeping up behind them. It had better be. We are quickly running out of options.
-*-
“Do something!” Sarevok pounded his fist against the blinking control panel, making more lights flash. On the magical map, lava cheerfully devoured a room that seemed to be uncomfortably close to the one the three siblings were occupying.
“I’m trying!” Zaerini shouted back. “I don’t know how this works any more than you do.” She gingerly pulled at a lever sticking out of the panel and the flow of lava subsided, diverted into one of the many passageways flowing behind the walls of the fortress. “Ok…ok…maybe I’ve got it now. Oh no, there’s a split in the path, how do you turn it the right way?” She stared in desperation at the blinking symbols before her. “I don’t know what any of this means! Why are there mushrooms? Or rings?”
“Here,” Imoen said, pointing at a button with a blue square. “Let’s try that one.” She pressed it, and the lava made a sharp turn as a new wall shot up in its way. “I bet the lava runs all sorts of things here, but we want it to open the door to the treasure room, right? Can you get it over there?”
“Um, kind of…” The half-elf was watching the map intently, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth. “I tried on the other side first, so we wouldn’t land ourselves in a hot mess, but it looks like I overdid it.”
On the map, the room on the other side of the treasure room was now partially filled with lava, still rising.
“Let’s hope there was nothing important in there,” Sarevok said. “Did you hear that bang just now?”
“I think so. These walls are really thick though, no telling what it was.”
Imoen looked at the map again. “Try turning the other way,” She suggested. “See, there’s a smaller channel there, and it goes right under the treasure room.”
Her sister nodded. “Got it.” She fiddled with the controls some more, and a red line slithered under the treasure room, and spread out into a complicated lattice. On the map, a bright circle lit up in the middle of the treasure room. “Well, that did something. Let’s hope it was something good.”
-*-
“Is that a good thing?” Viconia asked. The room they had emerged into had seemed entirely empty at first, just an open, round space with a smooth floor and empty walls. But now a segment of the floor had opened, hot air gusting out of it. The red glow beneath didn’t seem like a good thing. In fact, it seemed as from a good thing as possible, particularly since the hole kept getting wider. Behind them, the floor of the guardroom was now mostly covered with churning lava. Shar’s eternal night, I truly detest this place.
Before anybody had the time to reply, something emerged from the hole. It was a slowly rising platform, and there was a very large chest on top of it, made out of dull black metal. It was large enough that you could easily have fitted a rothe in there, maybe more than one. A sudden pang of homesickness hit her – she certainly didn’t regret leaving the Underdark, but the cheese they had up here certainly didn’t have the same lovely sharpness as blueveined rothe cheese. Finally the platform stopped, and the chest just sat there ominously.
“Thoughts?” Viconia said. “This seems…a little too easy, does it not?”
“I agree,” Dekaras said. He had stepped closer to the chest and was examining it closely, but not touching it yet. “No obvious traps. That makes no sense, assuming it does contain the hearts. It doesn’t even seem to be locked. I definitely have a bad feeling about this.”
“Don’t open it just yet,” Viconia said. “Let’s take appropriate precautions first.”
Edwin was staring at the chest. “Can you all hear that?” He said. “I swear I heard something in there.”
As they all fell silent, Viconia heard it as well. There was definitely a noise coming from the chest, a slowly shuffling noise of something moving. The sound was getting stronger. “Back up!” She said. “I think there…”
The chest’s lid flew open, and an enormous beast exploded out of it. The creature was very large, certainly much larger than a rothe or the surfacer equivalent of oxen, and much more savage. It burst forth with its massive clawed paws first, followed by the large head and muscular body. Within the shaggy brown fur angry little eyes glared sleepily at the people daring to intrude upon its slumber, and it gave a furious roar.
…is an angry giant bear in there? What is this place?
Dekaras had been closest to the chest and just about had time to throw himself flat on the ground and roll out of the way. Even with his quick reflexes, the bear still managed to rake him rather badly across the back with its claws, leaving him bleeding profusely and temporarily dazed. Viconia didn’t have any time to attend to it yet though, for the bear was coming for her now. It was already so close that she could get an unpleasant view of the inside of its stinking maw. She reflexively started casting a paralytic spell, before remembering that one would only work on humanoid creatures. How is that even remotely fair?
-*-
“Wait, wait, I‘ve got it now. I think.”
“You think?!”
“Look, I think I accessed the treasure. We just need to get in there.” Zaerini eyed the control panel in distaste. Even more lights were blinking now, and somewhere in the distance an alarm had started blaring loudly.
“Let me have a go?” Imoen asked. “I’m the rogue, we’re good at opening doors one way or another!”
“With lava?” Sarevok asked.
“Um, maybe? Never tried it before.” Imoen looked at the control panel again. “Wish I had time to fiddle more with it, it’s really clever isn’t it?” She spared a quick glance across her shoulder. “Rini, have you got any fire protection spells?”
“Why?”
“Remember that lava in the channels? The channels all around the walls in this bedroom? Those channels?”
“Yes.”
Imoen bent closer over the controls, trying to ignore the flickers of heat behind her back and the way the room was growing brighter. “We probably shouldn’t have poked the ‘Inferno’ lever is all I’m saying. Spells? Please?” She busied herself with her work as her sister hurriedly cast the protective spells and hoped she looked as if she knew what she was doing. The lava was moving in the right direction at least, she could tell what needed to be done now. Into that pipe, yes, and then towards the cistern by the door…why was the bright circle in the treasure room blinking now? She gingerly pressed a flashing button that went ‘Beep’ and shortly after that the blinking stopped. Hopefully that was good. This is really stressful. Hope the others are having an easier time of it than we are.
-*-
The bears claws swept so closely past her face that Viconia could feel a sharp gust of wind. The only reason they missed was that Minsc had slammed directly into the side of the giant beast, slightly diverting its course. Bear and berserker faced off against each other now, both roaring mightily and brandishing claw and sword.
“BAD TEDDY!” Minsc slammed a large fist into the enormous animal’s snout, making it blink and whine for a second. “Do not hurt Minsc’s friends! Boo will not stand for it either!”
For a moment, the bear seemed mightily confused, and almost on the verge of giving up. Then it apparently found new courage and it growled again, trying to bash Minsc’s skull into a bloody pulp. However, as it raised its front paw it left itself vulnerable, and before the blow was struck Minsc’s large sword had impaled itself deeply into the bear’s broad and furry chest. The animal tried to roar again, but only blood streamed out of its snout, and then it slowly sagged to the floor as the light died in its eyes. Finally, it was still.
“Is that it?” Viconia asked, her voice sounding slightly shrill to her own ears. “Is it dead? And the…”
That was as far as she got before the dead bear’s side started heaving, almost as if the animal was breathing again. Then it split suddenly open in a shower of blood and gore, and something small and furry darted out of it, swift as an arrow. As it dashed towards the open door, Viconia just had time to make out the long ears and fluffy tail of a fleetfooted hare.
“Stop it!” She shouted, finally realizing just how Yaga-Shura was protecting his treasure. “Don’t let it get away!”
The hare was almost at the door now, a matter of seconds before it would be out of their reach. Then, in mid-leap, it fell, a red rose of blood blooming across its fur as one of Dekaras’ daggers impaled its neck. The wounded assassin fell back onto the floor again with a brief groan of pain, looking almost as dead as the hare. Viconia momentarily thought about using one of her healing spells, but decided against it. His wound was nasty, but not immediately fatal, and something else was more urgent. This time, at least, they would be prepared.
The hare, just like the bear, burst apart. This time, what came out of it was a bird, fiery red and gold, with a long and beautiful tail. It soared into the air, circled the room once, and flew towards the exit. That was as far as it got before a stream of arcane missiles struck it clean out of the air and it tumbled to the ground in a shower of feathers and accompanied by a smell reminiscent of roast chicken.
Please let that be the last of them.
And it was, or nearly so. As the dying bird landed in Viconia’s arms, it gave a final ‘Caw’ and something came out of…wherever it was eggs usually came out of birds. It was large, smooth and golden.
Ah, an egg. Inside the chest without lock or key, indeed. She tapped the egg gently with an elegantly manicured nail, channeling destructive magic into it, and it cracked neatly into many pieces, mercifully without fighting back or trying to run away. Inside lay two solid, wet and red lumps of muscle, contracting and relaxing silently but steadily. The heart of Yaga-Shura, and that of Nyalee. Odd how they managed to fit in there, the giant must be a skilled mage. At last some breathing space, and then we can see about getting out of here in one piece…
The closed door on the other side of the treasure chamber, twin to the one they had previously blown up, shuddered and groaned, and then slowly opened. Three sweaty, red-faced and rather stressed looking Bhaalspawn came running through it, skidding to a halt as they beheld the curious sight in front of them. Minsc was on the ground, struggling to get out from under the dead bear. Dekaras was also on the ground, still bleeding, and muttering something about rabbits, Edwin was next to him trying to stop the bleeding with his bare hands and Viconia was clutching two beating hearts to her chest like precious infants. Moreover, all of them were still covered with zombie innards, chunks of giant and stone dust.
“You…you found them!” Zaerini exclaimed. “That’s great! I thought we’d never get that door open.”
“…but I managed!” Imoen proudly proclaimed. “Only…”
“…only she also managed to activate the fortress’ self-destruct mechanism in the process,” A weary-looking Sarevok added. “This volcano is about five minutes from exploding.”
“No problem,” Zaerini said, hurrying over. “We’re all alive, and all together. I can get us out now, just hurry and gather around me.”
They all hurried to do just that, and the world dissolved as a dark tunnel formed around them, sweeping them away. As the darkness of the pocketplane opened before them, Viconia thought she could just make out a bright light and searing heat, as well as hear a loud and growing rumble. Then, Yaga-Shura’s fortress was blissfully left behind them for good, and they were all safe.
At last. Once I heal whatever needs to be healed, I am going to sleep for at least twelve hours. Then she looked down at the miserable state her skin, hair and armour was in. After I have a very, very long bath.
