Throne Of Cards 66 – Z-Team
If you find yourself in the middle of a zombie outbreak, choose your companions carefully. Yes, a group may increase your chances of survival. Unfortunately you may also end up killing each other and making even more zombies. It’s probably safe to hang onto your cat, unless animals are also affected. In that case, say your prayers. Nothing stands up to a zombie cat.
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’
“Is there anything you can think of to help us find Yaga-Shura’s heart? Anything at all? Where he keeps it, how it’s hidden?” Zaerini leaned in closer, trying to ignore the smells wafting from the dying fire giant woman in front of her.
“I wasn’t supposed to know,” The giant woman rasped. “But I took him his supper once, him and the woman. They didn’t know I heard them speak.”
“What woman?”
“Feathers…” The giantess murmured, her eyes unfocused. “Feathers in her hair. She…spoke. Yaga-Shura listened, and obeyed, and her only small. But she felt taller than she looked…and cold. So cold. He obeyed her when she spoke.”
“Right, and did they talk of the hearts?”
“She asked, were they hidden, were they safe. Yaga-Shura said, they were. He said, ‘Inside chest with no lock or key, inside the one soaring free. Inside the swift, inside the stout. Heart’s blood the key that will draw them all out.’”
Seven adventurers all looked at her expectantly, hoping for more. “That’s it?” Sarevok eventually asked. “Could it possibly get more ridiculously cryptic than that? How about some plain speech?”
“Funny…” The giantess gurgled. “That’s what she said…she was angry. So angry. Her eyes…a little bit like yours…” Her head lolled back, she exhaled softly and then spoke no more.
“Right,” Rini said once it became obvious no further information would be forthcoming. “So, it’s a riddle. That’s just lovely.”
“Not merely a riddle, I think,” Edwin said, pursing his lips in thought. “It has a certain ring to it. I would say it’s some form of ritual binding, a spell of hiding. If we can find the right place, it should be possible to unravel it.”
“First things first,” Dekaras said. “I try my best not to make the same mistake twice, and I would prefer not to have another reanimated giant sneaking up on us from behind. We’d better take some precautions.”
“Oh,” Rini said, wrinkling her nose. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She knew how to keep zombies from waking up, decapitation would keep any zombie down. It was just that she’d never had to deal with it on quite so large a scale before, and not with somebody she’d just been talking to. Still, it had to be done. She eyed the large corpse. Their own weapons would work, but it would take time they didn’t really have to waste. “Anybody see a really large carving knife or meat cleaver around here?”
“That shouldn’t be necessary,” Dekaras said. “In order to prevent reanimation, we merely have to destroy the crucial parts of the brain. A careful approach either through the upper parts of the nose or the orbital socket should achieve the desired results with minimum fuss.” He turned to Sarevok. “Would you mind putting that big sword of yours to use for a moment? I fear I carry nothing large enough to work on a giant.”
“My pleasure,” The large warrior said. “Eye socket, you said?”
“Yes, you just have to take care with the angle. If you aim it like so…yes.”
Rini deliberately turned her back. She wasn’t feeling faint. She was a Bhaalspawn, and she’d seen her share of blood and gore, caused it too in some cases. Still, this fell strictly into a ‘need to know’ category and she felt no need to know.
“So,” She said in a loud and slightly brittle voice. “That riddle, huh? Any ideas?”
There was a crunching noise behind her, and a subdued squelch.
“Yes,” Edwin said, his voice also slightly desperate. “Riddle…yes. We should…should definitely be looking for…for a thing with a thing inside of it.”
There was another squelch, slightly louder. “Interesting,” Sarevok’s voice boomed behind her back. “I hadn’t known it did that.”
“Oh yes,” Dekaras said. “It comes loose right there, you see. Now, this of course isn’t something I would normally be bothering with, but knowledge is power, after all.”
“Of course. How my sister spent all those years in a library without educating herself better I will never know.”
Hey! “Not that I begrudge you two the bonding session or anything,” Rini said between clenched teeth, “But we’d really better be going. Are you done?”
“Quite,” Dekaras said as he appeared behind her shoulder, making her startle. “As you say, we have much to do.”
Sarevok patted her on the head, an annoying grin on his face. “Fear not, little sister. I will handle any further nasty corpses we run into.”
“The next nasty corpse we run into will be yours, big brother, unless you wipe that smirk off your face,” The half-elf snarled. “Now move it!”
“It’s hardly my fault if you have no stomach for explorative anatomy. I’m sure you’ll make a superb goddess of murder even with that little hint of squeamishness.”
“I’m not squeamish! I’ll show you, see if I don’t. Next corpse we run into, I will take care of.”
“Are you sure? I could always hold your hand through it.”
Viconia sighed. “Perfect. This will likely go on for hours now.” She rounded on Dekaras. “I blame you.”
“Me?” The assassin said. “How?”
“I can hardly blame the infants, now can I? You riled them up, you settle them down.” The priestess sniffed and tossed her white hair back across her shoulder, muttering something in Drow that Rini felt it was probably for the best she didn’t understand.
The group passed through a few empty rooms and corridors, keeping a careful lookout for giants, alive or dead. There were none though, but the evidence of the past carnage was clearly visible. Furniture had been violently overturned, there were pools of blood on the floor and panicky smears on the walls, and even a severed arm still trying to clutch a sword. Eventually, they approached a larger hall. It seemed like it might previously have been a dining room, but now tables and benches had been overturned to form a sort of barricade fortress in one corner. At the other far corner, a stairway led up to an upper floor.
“I wonder if anybody’s in there?” She whispered to her friends as she peered inside the room. “I thought I saw something move, but I’m not sure…”
“Ho there!” Minsc bellowed, suddenly striding past the surprised half-elf and inside the room. “Are there any friendly giants here or only Evil Zombie Giants in need of a sound spanking with the sharp end of my sword?”
“Minsc, wait!” Rini called out, her voice deteriorating into a squeak. “I’m not sure even live giants are likely to be friendly…”
But it was too late. A group of four giants, all of them armed, stepped out from behind the barricade, glaring suspiciously at the newcomers. At least they didn’t seem to be zombies. That was good. Probably.
“Halt, or I’ll shoot!” The leader of the giants snarled, brandishing a very large crossbow. His face was haggard, his reddish beard was scruffy and he looked as if he hadn’t slept or indeed cleaned up in weeks, but his eyepatch somehow improved the first impression from pathetic to rugged.
“They could be zombies,” A second giant said, clutching a club so tightly his knuckles whitened. He was a little older than the first giant and had a rather odd and droopy mustache and a wild look in his eyes. “I say we bash their skulls in, just to make sure. We should have gone for the boat like I told you!”
“Oh, shut up about your stupid boat,” The third giant scoffed. This one was female, almost as muscular as the men and with a pair of enormous swords slung across her back. “Have you ever even seen a boat? Not to mention the sea?”
“I could build one! I told you! And you know how it always goes. We meet somebody, they either turn out to be zombies or try to kill us anyway. Kill them first this time, I say. Then find a boat.”
“SHUT UP ABOUT THE BOAT!”
“Eh, excuse them please,” Said the last giant, another woman. No, more of a girl, she didn’t look fully grown. She had her hair twisted into tight braids and she smiled a small, but fairly friendly smile. “It’s been a bad time.”
“Fair enough,” Zaerini said, relieved that they probably wouldn’t have to fight to the death just yet. “We’re not zombies, and we really just want to pass by. We don’t have to fight unless you want to.”
“We’re looking for the heart of Yaga-Shura,” Imoen piped up. “Do you know where it is?”
The first giant spat on the ground. “That accursed thing? It’s what caused all the trouble.” He wiped a hand across his sweaty brow, and scratched at his beard. “I was in a coma, you know.”
“…here we go again…” Muttered the giantess with the swords.
“I’d been badly injured in the line of duty. I was head guardsman, you know!”
“…in ‘Z-team’, the one assigned to all the duties nobody else could be bothered with…”
“I still say we should name our group Z-team. It would build morale and team spirit and encourage you all to follow my lead. Anyway. As I lay at death’s door…”
“…shouldn’t that be ‘stood’?”
“…something called me back. A higher duty. I woke to find…this. The world gone mad. I knew I had to act, to maintain order and giantness.”
“…and you’d maintain giantess too, if I let you closer than the length of my sword.”
The first giant looked offended at that. “I’ll have you know I’m still grieving my wife! She died!”
“Yeah?” Said the second one, tugging at his moustache. “So did mine. And my kid. And then they both came back.”
“Well, mine died giving birth! And then…and then…” He clutched at his face, shoulders shaking.
“The baby came back too,” Said the girl with the braids, patting the man gingerly on the shoulder. “It…well, it couldn’t walk of course, or even crawl, but it still tried to bite. It was pretty yucky.”
“…sorry?” Rini said, feeling it lacked a certain something but unsure what else to say. “So, about that heart…”
“Oh, it’s in Yaga-Shura’s bedroom. Up two flights of stairs, you have to use wardstones to get through all the hallways, and then at the end of the rightmost corridor. But the heart is locked away. Only Yaga-Shura knows how to get it out.”
“Well, we’ll have to try anyway. Thanks for the help. Hope you find a boat, or whatever else you need.”
The adventurers said their farewells to the small group of survivor giants and Zaerini had gone about halfway up the stairs to the second floor when she heard the noise. At first it was fairly low, a faint rumble and rustle, but it was growing rapidly louder and below her she could see the giants looking alarmed.
“Another attack!” The guardsman giant shouted. “A herd! Team, rally around me! Some of you may die, but I’ll treat any survivors to an uplifting lesson at the end of it, tempered with my own inner pain at the inevitable moral dilemmas.”
“That’s supposed to be encouraging?” The muscular giantess snarled, brandishing her swords. “And what’s the dilemma about killing zombies before they kill you, you big pr…”
Whatever she’d been about to say was cut short as the shuffling heavy footsteps and creaking groans grew louder and about two dozen or so undead giants staggered rapidly into the room. Some of them were missing the odd limb, one of them had its belly sliced open and its content dragging behind on the floor, but they were all advancing with singular purpose. While some of them were going for the live giants, others were heading for Zaerini and her friends, and they were coming fast. The first one was already at the bottom of the stairs.
“Go on, Little Rini!” Minsc shouted. “Minsc will keep his Witch safe and liberally apply the needed smacks to make Nearly Dead Giants into Fully Dead Giants.” He was already charging back down the stairs and into the herd of giants.
“Minsc, wait! Don’t…”
“Go,” Sarevok’s voice boomed next to her ear, and then her brother was half dragging, half carrying her up the stairs with an around her waist that might as well have been made from solid stone. “We don’t want to be fighting those things on the stairs.”
A few steps below her, she saw Edwin finish off a spell, and fiery blocks of rock started raining down above, striking the advancing zombies. Skulls were crushed, rotting flesh was set on fire, and quite a few of them went down, but there were still more coming. Even worse, at the back of the zombie herd she saw one giant raising what was an unpleasantly familiar object, a red wand with curling engravings resembling licking flames.
“DODGE!” She shouted, leaping up the stairs so fast she was nearly flying. Then the world became white heat and there was a loud crash as the large fireball struck. It was followed by thick clouds of smoke, crackling flames, and then the horrible feeling of the stairs gradually crumbling beneath her feet even as she ran. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds, she reached the top and the safety of a stone corridor leading off deeper into the castle. We made it!
Then she turned around, and to her horror realized that she was only partially right. Sarevok was standing next to her, yes, coughing as he tried to expel the smoke from his lungs, and Imoen was frantically batting away glowing embers from her clothes. The rest of her friends weren’t there, and as she looked back through the doorway she could see only raging flames.
“Fireball…” Imoen wheezed. “It hit right smack in the middle of the stairs. The others got stuck behind it.”
No. No, no, no.
Softpaws poked her head out of Rini’s pack, looking very disgruntled. The cat sneezed once, then rubbed at her nose with her paw.
Ew. Kitten, can we go to a more pleasant place next, do you think? My fur will smell bad for hours. And your thoughts got very loud and sharp all of a sudden.
Softy, you’ve got to help me!
What? Oh. The cat sneezed again, and looked disgusted. Yes, the horrible little monkey is alive, as is your mate. So are the others. Happy?
Very. What else can you tell me?
The monkey says that the dead things are all put down, but the fire is very big. They had to fall back to another room, and they can’t get up this way anymore than we can get down. They’ll meet us as soon as they can. I’ll carry on with my nap now, don’t jostle me again.
“…so I guess we’re on our own for a bit,” Rini finished explaining to her siblings what her familiar had relayed to her. “The others will try to find another way around and up. Hopefully soon. In the meantime, I suppose we may as well try to find Yaga-Shura’s hideaway.”
“Aw, don’t worry, Rini,” Imoen said, cuffing her shoulder. There were some specks of soot on her face, but her grin was as irrepressible as ever. “We’ll be fine, you’ll see. It’ll be our little Bhaalspawn adventure! Just you, me, and Big Brother Grumpyface.”
“Wonderful,” Sarevok grumbled. “Well, perhaps I can instill a certain measure of competence in you both.”
“How inspiring,” Rini said, rolling her eyes. “Will you give us lessons in kobold management or in how not to select assassins for hire?”
Sarevok looked as if he was about to reply, but then he cocked his head to one side and raised his hand. “Do you hear that?” He asked.
Rini paused, listening carefully. Yes, she could hear it too. It was some distance off, a repetitive, banging noise. “I may or may not regret this,” She said. “But let’s check that out. Let’s just make sure that whatever it is doesn’t notice us before we want it to.”
“No problem!” Imoen said, making a bow with a flourish. “We’ve got you for spellcasting and flashy fighting, Sarry for Rawr Smash fighting and stomping all over things and being really loud, and yours truly for sneaking around finding things out. Just leave this to me.”
“We’ve also got no healer with us, so be careful. I don’t want you to end up as a zombie snack.”
“Sure, sure,” Imoen said. “Race you there?” And with a quick wink she took off, moving quietly enough but with a definite skip in her step.
The two remaining siblings looked at each other for a moment. “Well, little sister,” Sarevok eventually said. “Are you prepared to be flashy?”
“Always. Ready to stomp on things?”
Sarevok smiled. “Zombie stomping sounds like an excellent plan.”