Right Under Your Nose

Right Under Your Nose
by Ryan Brady

Jaycen found the elfin children's request rather perplexing. If he was capable of saving their city, as well as the rest of the Realms, from the diabolic schemes of a mad wizard bent on ascending to godhood, why did they need to see proof that he was capable of signing his own name? Regardless, he indulged the children and scrawled his signature across the piece of parchment they gave him. As bizarre of a ritual as it seemed, it was still worth the smiles he received from them.

Even after he handed this "atto-graff", as they called it, back to them they still stood and stared at him with their wide, innocent eyes. It took him a moment to realize they were probably waiting for him to make some grand proclamation or impart some words of wisdom to them. He was never any good at this kind of thing. Where was Minsc when he needed him? Finally, he thrust his hand into air and proudly proclaimed, "The blade of justice shall always strike swift and true!" Oh gods, that was so corny! The children didn't seem to mind, though, and ran off with a cheer, shouting the phrase over and over through the streets of Suldanesselar. One little girl ran back up to him to hug his leg for a moment, then charged off after her friends.

Jaycen immediately knew Minsc was coming up behind him when he heard the ranger let out a deep, disgusted sigh. "Oh, Boo is very disappointed in you, Jaycen. Even he could come up with something better than 'The blade of justice shall always strike swift and true.' A real hero would never have such a trite and uninspired battle cry as this!"

"I'm just not any good at this kind of stuff," Jaycen laughed. "I've gotten over my youthful arrogance, Minsc. I don't see why we need to proclaim to the world how great we are. We know were pretty damn good, and that's all that matters, right?"

"Nonsense!" the ranger shouted. His voice continued to rise until it reached an earsplitting crescendo. "Righteousness does not modestly hide behind a cloak of silence! It boldly stands in the buff for all to see, striking awe into its followers and fear into the very hearts of its enemies, whilst shouting at the very top of its lungs, 'WHOOOOO WANT'S SOOOOOOME?!'"

"That's...a very colorful image," Jaycen replied as he slowly nodded and took a few steps back.

Wrapping his giant arm around the paladin, Minsc shook him lightly and cocked an eyebrow. "Boo thinks you really need to loosen up. And he's usually dead on about these things." The ranger rolled his eyes, shook his head, then made his way back toward the Elfin Court.

As he watched Minsc walk off, Jaycen saw the shadow of another figure coming up behind him. Based on the rather unique silhouette, he was quite certain it was either Mazzy or a very large starfish with legs.

"Ah, there you are," the halfling chided. "I was starting to think you were having second thoughts about our sparring session. Though I must admit, after your performance at our last one I can hardly blame you."

"Not at all," Jaycen replied with a smug grin. "I simply wished to see if you had the courage to come find me."

"If it is courage you seek then you need look no further," she shot back, "as you have found it's very personification. I hope you're prepared, for I have a few new tricks to try out on you today."

"Yes, I have ensured that my kneecaps are properly protected," he mocked. "I am ready for your worst."

Mazzy wrinkled her nose and gave Jaycen a rather harsh glare. So harsh, in fact, that he was quite certain if looks could kill he'd be well on his way to the afterlife.

"When I petition Arvoreen to guide my blade it shan't be your kneecaps that I am aiming for, too-tall. And none of your spells this time!" She wagged her finger as if scolding a child. "It simply doesn't make for a balanced fight."
Jaycen threw his head back with a mocking smile. "You're just jealous because the cute little cantrips Arvoreen gives you can hardly compare to the spells of a true paladin."

The very fires of the Abyss seemed to ignite in the young halfling's eyes, and Jaycen immediately knew he had pushed her a little too far with that last taunt. "Cute little cantrips, are they?!"

Swinging her sword in a graceful arc, she threw back her head and cried out, "IN ARVOREEN'S NAME!" as brilliant tendrils of light raced around her body. Moments later she was charging forward, swinging her sword at an inhuman speed, and it was all Jaycen could do to leap out of the way of her mighty blade.

"Alright, alright, alright!" he pleaded. "You made your point! Let's just get on with our sparring session."

With another graceful sweep of her sword she canceled the enchantment. "Good, then. I believe we've been toying with each other long enough. Let us see what we each have to offer, shall we?"

They made their way across the town square and up on to the dueling platform in the center of the city, each one grabbing a quarterstaff on their way in. Jaycen always enjoyed sparring with Mazzy. Although she was small, she was also fast and agile. She was never at a lack for confidence and her attacks always came swift and sure. Certainly a refreshing change from his other companions. Minsc was too wild and chaotic. Anomen was too predictable. Jaheira was too much of a sore loser. And the one time he tried sparring with Imoen she just polymorphed him into a toad and ran off giggling.

The two warriors circled around each other for a few seconds, sizing one another up, then leapt in to attack. He swung his staff around into an elaborate overhand swipe but was casually swatted aside by Mazzy’s own staff. He tried another attack, lower this time, but she leapt over his staff and spun into a backflip, delivering a thrust-kick to his chest and gracefully landing a few feet off to his right. He charged forward to try and rush her before she got her bearings, but she simply dropped to the ground and let him sail right over her, delivering a light slap to his rump as he flew by.

Jaycen shook his head in amazement. This woman wasn’t just good. She was damn good. He had to admit that he admired her quite a bit, not just for her precision fighting skills but also for her dedication as a Truesword. The typical halfling rarely showed more than a passing concern in such matters. Then again, Mazzy was definitely not a typical halfling.

"So tell me, Mazzy," Jaycen inquired as the two continued to trade blows, "what made you decide to become a Truesword?"

"I'm sure it's quite similar to your reason for becoming a Paladin," she replied as she leapt off to the side and took a low swing at his legs. "I heard the call of my deity and had to reply. 'Tis a passion that has always burned in my heart and it gives me the strength to drive forward even in the darkest of times. It has not been an easy path, though. I have met resistance from all sides, and even from within. It was very difficult for me to break away from the life I knew and strike out into the unknown. I had lived a simple and peaceful existence up to that point, and it took me awhile to find the courage to let go of it and accept what the future held for me.

Jaycen swung his staff over his head and brought it crashing down with all his strength. Mazzy threw one leg back for balance and thrust her own staff up with both hands to block the blow. The crack of the two weapons striking together echoed throughout the city. "Well, you'll never know what could be if you only stick to what you know," Jaycen said. "It's rather difficult to seize your future when you're clinging to the past."

"Wise words, indeed," Mazzy replied. "In fact, I recently came to a similar conclusion in trying to resolve the nightmares I had been having about Patrick's death."

Jaycen eased up on his attack just slightly, though not enough that Mazzy would notice. "I know those nightmares have been causing you a great deal of distress. Have you finally found peace in the matter?"

"Yes, I have," Mazzy nodded. "At first I thought the dreams were being brought on by the guilt of my own conscience. Surely they were a punishment for my failure to protect my friends in the Shade Lord's dungeon. Because of my foolish impetuousness my friends were killed while I, the very one response for it all, somehow managed to live. Patrick warned me that we weren't prepared to deal with the Shade Lord's minions, but I was blinded by my overconfidence. And he followed despite his predications, blinded by his love for me. Truly it was a case of the blind leading the blind."

Mazzy paused momentarily and Jaycen held his ground, but a second later she was back on the offensive, even as she continued to talk. "I thought the nightmares were a punishment for my failure, and I tried everything I could to undo what had been done. To find some way to bring back what I had lost. To find some way to bring back my beloved Patrick. But the nightmares just kept getting worse the harder I tried and the more I clung to his memory."

Thrusting her staff between Jaycen's legs, Mazzy twisted it sideways in an attempt to trip him. Jaycen stumbled slightly but quickly worked his way free and brought his own staff down hard against her left shoulder before she was able to pull her staff back up. "So, how were you able to resolve the matter?"
"A few nights ago as I was writing in my journal I turned back to the first page and read the inscription my mother wrote there when she had given it to me. Arvoreen, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can..." Their two staffs cracked together and the two warriors stood motionless. "...and the wisdom to know the difference."

Mazzy took a step back, then started into another series of elaborate spins. "That's when I realized that I wasn't having the dreams because I blamed myself for Patrick's death. I was having them because I wouldn't let go. He had been killed but I would not let him die."

"Sometimes it's not easy to let go," Jaycen nodded. "Especially when it's letting go of someone you love."

"No, it is not," Mazzy replied. "But it is something that must be done if we are ever to know peace. We should not dwell upon the loss of what was never meant to be, for it clouds our vision of the future and distracts us from seizing what IS meant to be." She paused just long enough to shoot Jaycen a light smile. "You would do well to remember this in your own struggles."

"What do you mean?" Jaycen nervously asked.

"I'm referring to your feelings for Imoen," she responded as she continued to press her attack. "I know how you feel about her, and I know that it frustrates you to no end that it cannot become something more. While I am truly saddened by your situation, I am also concerned by the way you continue to cling to this star-crossed relationship, despite the grief, frustration, and pain it is obviously causing you. You are such a wonderful and fascinating man, and this self inflicted torment you insist on subjecting yourself to is wholly undeserved. There comes a time when you must let go, just as I have. Wouldn't you rather move on and let the pain end instead of keeping yourself trapped in this agonizing limbo you've created?"

"Yes, I want to move on," Jaycen admitted, "but I won't let go of what we have. There are some things I just don't want to forget."

Mazzy stopped and lowered her staff, then moved forward to place her hand lightly on Jaycen's arm. "Letting go does not mean forgetting. It means accepting what is and being willing to consider what could be." She cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. "If you took the time to look around you once and a while, Jaycen, I think you might be quite surprised at some of the possibilities that have escaped your notice."

"Oh really?" he laughed as he rested his weight against his quarterstaff and placed his free hand on his hip. "And just how have you come upon this profound understanding of my possibilities?"

Mazzy rolled her eyes and sighed in disgust. "I swear, Jaycen, sometimes it seems you are as dense as a ton of illithium ore. Just what must I do to catch your attention? Light a bonfire under your britches?"

"Catch my attention? Mazzy, what on Toril are you talking about?"

Screaming through her clenched teeth, Mazzy grabbed her staff and slammed it as hard as she could into Jaycen's gut. The young paladin crumpled to the ground as all the wind raced out of his lungs. When he finally looked up several seconds later he found Mazzy kneeling next to him and looking straight at him with a bright smile. As he gazed upon her he found himself helplessly drawn into her stare. Within her soft azure eyes was a reflection of her very soul. She opened them wider and drew him close--close enough to lay bare for him all of her weaknesses, strengths, fears, passions, sorrows, joys, hatreds, loves, losses, dreams, regrets of the past...and hopes for the future.

She rose to her feet but never broke her gaze. "You can never move forward without loosening your grip on the past. You don't have to completely let go of what you have, but...as a wise paladin once told me...you'll never know what could be if you only stick with what you already know." She began to walk off but then stopped and glanced back with a slight smile and added, "Each day the past travels farther away from us. And if you keep staring off into the distance you might miss what's right in front of your nose...or a few feet under it."