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Two Mages, a Priest and a Kensai


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#1 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 19 July 2011 - 05:51 PM

“Ok, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Two mages, a priest of Helm, and a swordswoman walk into a bar…”

“Immy.”

“Oh, fine. But I’m telling you, it’s a classic…”

The four travelers, exhausted and covered in dust from a long, tiring day on the road, pushed their way through the door into the cacophonous din of the Copper Coronet, easily the rowdiest, most raucous bar in all of Athkatla – which was saying something, for the City of Coin certainly had its share of loud and unruly drinking establishments.

The leader of the group, a brunette with a pair of swords strapped to her back, led the way over to the counter at one end of the Coronet’s main room, dodging stumbling patrons and harried waitresses as she made the treacherous crossing. She threw an elbow across the heavy wooden counter once she’d reached it and leaned forward, slapping a few coins onto the surface and nudging them forward. “Long time no see, Bernard. The usual, if you wouldn’t mind.”

The portly barkeep looked up at the woman’s slim hand, then at her smiling face, which, though it had been years since he’d seen it last, looked much the same as it always had. He grinned back at her. “The usual it is. What’s it been? Nine years? Ten, since you last been down this way?”

“Ten,” she said with a nod. “Would’ve been longer. We were supposed to be off to Sembia, but Nalia got a letter saying we needed to put that on hold and come here instead. Something about everyone around these parts thinking we were dead.”

Bernard scoffed. “Aye. Heard some talk about that. No one with any brains believes it, o’course. After all you and the rest been through, a body’d have to be some kinda fool to assume the worst had happened to ye.”

“Well, Amn’s never had any shortage of fools.”

Bernard snickered at the joke, but sobered almost immediately. “Too right. You weeded a bunch out when you were here last, but you been gone a whiles. They grew back. S’pose it’s time to be showin’ some folk the error of their thinkin’ an’ all that, eh?”

The woman shrugged then winked. “Something like that.” She pushed over a few more coins and then jerked a thumb towards the rest of her companions. They’d gotten themselves a table nearby. It hadn’t been hard. At the sight of their weapons and armor – especially the Helmite geared in full, shining battle-plate – the Coronet’s patrons had seen more than fit to give the group a wide berth. “The usual for them, too, all right?” she said, gesturing towards the coins she’d just nudged across.

“Of course, lass.”

-----

“What do you mean ‘we’re dead?’ I think the fact that I’m sitting here talking to the rest of you, drinking a mug of Bernard’s ale – which is a lot more watered down than I remember it being, by the way – is a pretty strong testament to the fact that I’m still alive… i.e. not dead.”

“I didn’t mean physically dead, Enara. It’s just… we’ve been gone so long, that the Athkatlan ruling council declared us… well… dead in absentia. They just figured we weren’t ever coming back.”

“They can -do- that?”

“Well, what did you expect? We all just packed up one day, left no instructions, and walked away from everything we had here in Amn.”

“It is not as if we severed all ties. The Order knew where we were going. We had their blessing.”

“I just mean that we… well, we left a lot of loose ends behind. Like my family’s keep, for example.”

“Except that’s just it, Nals. Your father’s advisor-guy was supposed to be taking care of all that.”

“And he was, Imoen, until… well, until he died. And -when- he died, there was no one left to steward the lands in our absence, so of course the Roenalls figured they could make a grab for everything.”

“Even with Isaea swinging from the gallows?”

“Especially with him gone. They were willing to play nice before, but after we exposed him for the sniveling, underhanded little bastard he was, there was no way they were going to pull any punches after that. No, with us out of the way, they made a play for the lands, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that pack of lowborn jackals have them.”

“She’s gotten crotchety in her old age, hasn’t she?”

“Imoen.”

“What, I’m just saying, you never used to be this cranky. Would you like us to get you a cup of tea? Maybe a little lie down?”

“Enara?”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t reach. Smack her for me, would you?”

“Gladly.”

The brunette reached out and thumped her younger sister solidly on the back of the head, causing her to dribble a tiny bit of ale out of the corner of her mouth.

“Ow!” She glared daggers at her sibling then polled the rest of the table for some sympathy but found only smug grins staring back at her. “Hate you guys.”

Enara sighed. “You know, just when I thought we’d managed to solve all these messes with feuding families and political intrigue and all that crap, they pull us back in.”

“It is the way of Amn, my love,” the Helmite replied with a sigh of his own. He stroked his beard – a habit whenever he was upset. “The ‘nobles’ of this place are far too quick to turn against each other when they detect even the slightest hint of weakness. Thankfully, the possessions we left with the Order for safekeeping are still intact, but I am afraid that precious little else remains. Most of what we had here in Amn has been seized.”

“Anomen. Dear. I know this is where you grew up, so, no offense or anything, but this place sucks.”

He chuckled. “None taken.”

“Oh, come on, Nar, it’s not so bad. It’s just like old times. Well, except for the torture and all.”

“Imoen, I continue to be astounded by your ability to remain chipper in the face of… everything.”

“It’s a gift, Nalia.”

“Regardless, I’m going to go down to the Council Hall and see about being declared un-dead.”

“Won’t that make us flesh-eating zombies?”

Anomen rolled his eyes, sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Helm preserve us. All right, then. While the Lady de’Arnisse speaks to the Council about our situation, I believe I shall meet with the First Watcher and see what he has to say about the matter. I can only hope he has some insight.”

“And if not?”

“One bridge at a time, Enara. One bridge at a time.”

“That’s all well and good, but what are Immy and I supposed to do while the two of you are hobnobbing with all the muckymucks?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Mucky… mucks?”

Nalia quickly and gracefully hid a snicker behind her hand, then looked up, once again the stern, proper noblewoman. “Perhaps it’s best if the both of you just… stay here. I’m a bit leery about turning the two of you loose, unsupervised, upon an unsuspecting Athkatla.”

“I see no need for such harsh measures. I’m quite certain Enara will ensure that the both of them remain on their best behavior.”

“Of course. Best behavior.”

#2 Guest_Clovis_*

Posted 19 July 2011 - 08:55 PM

“Ok, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Two mages, a priest of Helm, and a swordswoman walk into a bar…”

“Immy.”

“Oh, fine. But I’m telling you, it’s a classic…”


Snerk. :D She's adorable, at any age.


The four travelers, exhausted and covered in dust from a long, tiring day on the road, pushed their way through the door into the cacophonous din of the Copper Coronet, easily the rowdiest, most raucous bar in all of Athkatla


Neracer: Especially on "copper piece beer night", whoo-boy!


“Long time no see, Bernard. The usual, if you wouldn’t mind.”


Sorry, darlin', we're all out of Slurm.

“I didn’t mean physically dead, Enara. It’s just… we’ve been gone so long, that the Athkatlan ruling council declared us… well… dead in absentia. They just figured we weren’t ever coming back.”


And good luck ever getting them to fix that particular clerical error.


“And he was, Imoen, until… well, until he died. And -when- he died, there was no one left to steward the lands in our absence, so of course the Roenalls figured they could make a grab for everything.”


I have a feeling the Roenalls are going to be very, very unhappy when Nalia shows up tossing Epic-level spells their way.

“Even with Isaea swinging from the gallows?”them.”

“She’s gotten crotchety in her old age, hasn’t she?”

“Imoen.”

“What, I’m just saying, you never used to be this cranky. Would you like us to get you a cup of tea? Maybe a little lie down?”


Did I mention? Imoen's adorable at any age.





“It is the way of Amn, my love,” the Helmite replied with a sigh of his own. He stroked his beard – a habit whenever he was upset.


She ends up with Anomen? Ewwwwwww. :D





“Regardless, I’m going to go down to the Council Hall and see about being declared un-dead.”

“Won’t that make us flesh-eating zombies?”


*spit-take* Damnit, Alpha - you owe me a new keyboard! :lol:

I’m a bit leery about turning the two of you loose, unsupervised, upon an unsuspecting Athkatla.”


Especially on copper piece beer night.


Very funny stuff, Alpha. I like the angle of the story too. Adventurers spend so much time doing heroic stuff they probably don't consider the everyday headaches that await them when they get back.

#3 Guest_VigaHrolf_*

Posted 20 July 2011 - 02:05 PM

“Ok, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Two mages, a priest of Helm, and a swordswoman walk into a bar…”

“Immy.”

“Oh, fine. But I’m telling you, it’s a classic…”


Aleria: *glares at Imoen*

Imoen: "What?"

Aleria: *glares some more*

Imoen: "Jinkies, I didn't even get to the -good- bit. You know, the bit with the peanut butter!"

The four travelers, exhausted and covered in dust from a long, tiring day on the road, pushed their way through the door into the cacophonous din of the Copper Coronet, easily the rowdiest, most raucous bar in all of Athkatla – which was saying something, for the City of Coin certainly had its share of loud and unruly drinking establishments.


I don't know why, but I'm suddenly hit by the 'Shots! Shots! Shots!' song. :D

The leader of the group, a brunette with a pair of swords strapped to her back, led the way over to the counter at one end of the Coronet’s main room, dodging stumbling patrons and harried waitresses as she made the treacherous crossing. She threw an elbow across the heavy wooden counter once she’d reached it and leaned forward, slapping a few coins onto the surface and nudging them forward. “Long time no see, Bernard. The usual, if you wouldn’t mind.”

The portly barkeep looked up at the woman’s slim hand, then at her smiling face, which, though it had been years since he’d seen it last, looked much the same as it always had. He grinned back at her. “The usual it is. What’s it been? Nine years? Ten, since you last been down this way?”


That's a good bartender, remembering the usual from a near decade ago. :D Of course, this IS Bernard. :D

“Well, Amn’s never had any shortage of fools.”

Bernard snickered at the joke, but sobered almost immediately. “Too right. You weeded a bunch out when you were here last, but you been gone a whiles. They grew back. S’pose it’s time to be showin’ some folk the error of their thinkin’ an’ all that, eh?”


Someone grab the weedwhacker. :D

“What do you mean ‘we’re dead?’ I think the fact that I’m sitting here talking to the rest of you, drinking a mug of Bernard’s ale – which is a lot more watered down than I remember it being, by the way – is a pretty strong testament to the fact that I’m still alive… i.e. not dead.”


Aleria: "Although, drinking too much of his ale might render the point moot."

Imoen: "Good point."

“I didn’t mean physically dead, Enara. It’s just… we’ve been gone so long, that the Athkatlan ruling council declared us… well… dead in absentia. They just figured we weren’t ever coming back.”

“They can -do- that?”


Between the tax collectors and the bureaucrats - oh yeah, you betcha. :D

“Except that’s just it, Nals. Your father’s advisor-guy was supposed to be taking care of all that.”

“And he was, Imoen, until… well, until he died. And -when- he died, there was no one left to steward the lands in our absence, so of course the Roenalls figured they could make a grab for everything.”

“Even with Isaea swinging from the gallows?”

“Especially with him gone. They were willing to play nice before, but after we exposed him for the sniveling, underhanded little bastard he was, there was no way they were going to pull any punches after that. No, with us out of the way, they made a play for the lands, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that pack of lowborn jackals have them.”


Ahh, good to know the Roenalls are back to their usual crap.

Nalia: *glares* "Thieves, bounders and scoundrels, the lot of them!"

“Enara?”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t reach. Smack her for me, would you?”

“Gladly.”

The brunette reached out and thumped her younger sister solidly on the back of the head, causing her to dribble a tiny bit of ale out of the corner of her mouth.


Bran: *grins*

Aleria: *grins*

“Ow!” She glared daggers at her sibling then polled the rest of the table for some sympathy but found only smug grins staring back at her. “Hate you guys.”


Valygar: *grins*

Jaheira: *very slight grin*

Enara sighed. “You know, just when I thought we’d managed to solve all these messes with feuding families and political intrigue and all that crap, they pull us back in.”


And Enara has her Al Pacino moment. :D

“Oh, come on, Nar, it’s not so bad. It’s just like old times. Well, except for the torture and all.”


Nice use of the canon line.

“Regardless, I’m going to go down to the Council Hall and see about being declared un-dead.”

“Won’t that make us flesh-eating zombies?”


Exchange of the Piece.

You Win One Internet.

Nalia quickly and gracefully hid a snicker behind her hand, then looked up, once again the stern, proper noblewoman. “Perhaps it’s best if the both of you just… stay here. I’m a bit leery about turning the two of you loose, unsupervised, upon an unsuspecting Athkatla.”

“I see no need for such harsh measures. I’m quite certain Enara will ensure that the both of them remain on their best behavior.”

“Of course. Best behavior.”


Aleria: "You warn the Watch, I'll organize the fire brigade."

Bran: "Warn the Watch?" *snickers* "Oh hell no, I'm buying drinks."

Aleria: *facepalms*

Good start Alpha - and great dialogue as usual. :D

VH

#4 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 20 July 2011 - 06:30 PM

She's adorable, at any age.


Yes. Yes, she is.

Neracer: Especially on "copper piece beer night", whoo-boy!


I always figured the Coronet's standard swill never cost more than a copper, anyway. Kinda like how this bar (which closed like a year ago. :( ) near where I went to college had $1 PBRs.

Sorry, darlin', we're all out of Slurm.


Mmmmmm... radioactive-green slug juice...

And good luck ever getting them to fix that particular clerical error.


Well, Nalia's nobility. And can shoot lightning out of her fingertips. That sort of thing is very persuasive. And if not for that, you can always figure Imoen could pull one of those Burn Notice style cons where she just blusters her way into the records hall and rants wildly enough until someone has enough of a freakout that they just do what she says.

"The Judge is waiting for us upstairs, did you get the files?"

"No, I didn't. Because -someone- isn't being cooperative!"

(Panicking) "Oh, my God, what's wrong with you? COOPERATE!"

She ends up with Anomen? Ewwwwwww.


Actually, I think they work well together. :)

*spit-take* Damnit, Alpha - you owe me a new keyboard!


The makers of Monkey Island IV owe you a new keyboard. That's where I got the line from. ;)

Zip to 3:30. :D



#5 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 20 July 2011 - 06:32 PM

And Enara has her Al Pacino moment.


I was wondering if anyone would catch that. (Snort.)

Exchange of the Piece.

You Win One Internet.


Points up to embedded video from Monkey Island IV. :P

#6 Guest_Clovis_*

Posted 20 July 2011 - 08:47 PM

And Enara has her Al Pacino moment.


I was wondering if anyone would catch that. (Snort.)


Y'know, I *thought* that quote seemed familiar. Just couldn't place it at that moment.

#7 Guest_VigaHrolf_*

Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:00 PM


And Enara has her Al Pacino moment.


I was wondering if anyone would catch that. (Snort.)


Y'know, I *thought* that quote seemed familiar. Just couldn't place it at that moment.


Godfather III. :D

#8 Guest_Blue-Inked_Frost_*

Posted 23 July 2011 - 06:58 AM

It really fits the quiz topic. :) I thought this was well-paced, moving along through quick dialogue, nice and short. I found it a bit bland, in part because I haven't read the backstory; I didn't feel emotionally engaged with what the characters were doing. Troubles to sort out of a mostly bureaucratic sort, no emotional personal crises...it seems as if they've had a very quiet return home, at least until Imoen and Enara run into something and start to make a mess. ;) I liked the feeling that the adventurers kept on going for ten years of travel with each other. I thought you established the sense of time passing well. A lot can happen in ten years in money-grubbing Athkatla, but I see the Copper Coronet is a constant.




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