*waves* Hiya!
After A Cappella ended, I decided I needed a vacation from BG2. So I've been poking at some original work and bouncing around between several projects.
But I've been plagued by writer's block, and decided (with urgings and occasional pokey sticks from Oyster Girl) that what I needed was a dose of good old BG2 fanfic to get the juices flowing again. In one of those rare flashes of inspiration, this story jumped into my head.
It's not another retelling of the entire saga (I've given enough years to a single story, thank you very much) but a novella-ish story focusing on a single character. And what's more, a character I always said I doubted I would ever write about.
Any of you who have read A Cappella know that one of my goals is realism. That is no less true in this story. I have taken a game event and lifted it out of the realm of game mechanics and into a chain of events that I think more realistically represent the likely consequences of that action... with a few twists, of course.
Enjoy (I hope!)
Part 1
Anomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull. Without so much as a scream, the merchant crumpled at his feet. He whirled to see Yusef, Saerk’s son, dash from the room. He began to give chase when Tendel stepped in his way.
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
Chest heaving with both emotion and exhaustion, the priest snarled, “Out of my way, wizard. This house has plagued mine for long enough! Vermin, every single one!”
“Even innocent children?” Jaheira barked, her face twisted in disgust.
“They are all guilty! All!”
Keldorn ran his hands over his face. For a brief moment it registered in Anomen’s mind that he had never seen the paladin look older or more worn. “Lad, what have you done? By Torm, surely you can see no justice in this.” He gestured towards the bloody ball of cloth and black hair curled on the floor.
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Valygar looked up from his contemplation of Surayah’s corpse. “Anomen? Shut up. Now.”
“We should go,” Yoshimo said nervously. “Before the guard arrives.”
“Yes, we shall. I must go to tell my father that I have carried out his wishes.” Anomen pushed past the others to march through the door, his head high.
He walked through the crowded streets, his eyes not truly seeing what was before him. The priest was still filled rage, but who was there now to aim his ire towards? My chest hurts. So tight with anger and the blackness of my soul. He bit back a sob. Moira is still dead. Nothing I have done can change that. Why did I think her death would grieve me less just because Saerk Farrahd no longer lives?
When he reached the door of Delryn House, he noticed for the first time that his companions were not with him. He shrugged in irritation and went inside to find Lord Cor.
He found his father in the parlor. Cor looked up at him and said, “Well?”
“It is done, Father. I... I did as you asked. Saerk is dead.”
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
“And Moira is avenged.”
“And Moira, of course.” He pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and began to pace excitedly. “My old employees must be found and reinstated. With Saerk dead, I can once again resume my shipments to Calimshan.”
Anomen felt a cold ball form in the pit of his stomach. Carefully he said, “Father, will you pray with me for the peace of Moira’s soul?”
“Soon, lad, soon. I must make plans. So much to do.” Cor left the room, barely noticing Anomen’s stricken look.
The priest drew a deep breath to steady himself, then left for the Five Flagons. He had not gone ten steps from his doorstep when he heard his name being called.
He turned to see Tendel seated on a nearby bench. “Ah, my friend. My father is pleased that I have avenged my sister and restored honor to our name. Shall we join our companions for dinner?”
“No, Anomen, we will not,” the wizard said. “Or at least you won’t.”
“I-I…”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. I have enough trouble keeping my violent urges under control, so do you really think I want someone who would murder a young girl in my party?”
“It was not murder! It was justice!”
“So Surayah was a vicious assassin? They certainly grow them young in the Farrahd family.”
“She… she…”
“Go home, Anomen. Go home to your father.”
“Tendel, please!”
The Bhaalspawn gave him a last cold look, then walked away.
The next day, Anomen steeled himself as he walked to the Hall of the Radiant Heart. He knew he would be subjected to any number of lectures and long faces, but in his heart he was sure his cause had been just.
As he entered the Great Hall, a group of knights turned to stare at him. Anomen ignored them, having spotted Sir Ryan Trawl. He approached the knight and said respectfully, “Greetings, Sir Ryan. I have left Tendel’s company, and am reporting for orders. Should I continue my errantry until my Test, or do you wish to assign me elsewhere?”
Sir Ryan’s mouth fell open. “By Torm, Sir Keldorn was right. You truly do not understand…” He cleared his throat. “Let us step into the antechamber. We should speak in private.”
Once more the cold hard ball formed in Anomen’s stomach. He kept his face impassive as he said, “As you wish, sir.”
The knight led him to a small room with a thick door. Out of the corner of his eye Anomen saw Keldorn fall in behind them, and he scowled. After the three men were in the room, Sir Ryan locked the door.
In an even tone Anomen said, “This is about yesterday, is it not? As I explained to Sir Keldorn, I feel my actions were justified by the lack of interest the legal authorities took in pursuing my sister’s murderer.”
Sir Ryan winced. “Anomen, please believe me when I tell you that I take no pleasure in this.” He cleared his throat again and said formally, “Squire Anomen Delryn, you have been found unworthy to remain in the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. You are stripped of all rank and privileges. You will leave this Hall and never enter its doors again.”
Anomen felt all the blood drain from his face. “What? You-you cannot do this! I am not an evil man. I struggle daily in the quest for goodness.”
“You murdered a man for revenge and, even more foul, slaughtered a defenseless young girl. You have committed unforgivable sins. By Torm, it is only at Keldorn’s urging that you are allowed to leave with your life. The Order is well within its rights to execute you for this.”
“But… my Test…”
“There will be no Test. You proven yourself unfit to even request knighthood, much less be Tested.”
In a guttural whisper Anomen said, “All my life. All my life I've slaved for the Order and now I am cast aside like garbage. Curse you all.” He pointed a shaking finger at Keldorn. “You bastard! This is your fault! You and Tendel led me down this path and for that I have been refused. I should kill you both!”
“Anomen, calm yourself.”
“Who advised me to seek out Saerk? Who told me that I would not rest if my sister’s death went unavenged? Tendel. And who offered me nothing but mealy-mouthed platitudes? You! Did you intend all along to make sure that my Father’s son was disgraced and rejected, held up for humiliation? Traitor!”
He saw the same look come into both knights’ eyes. By Helm, I will not stand to be pitied. Anomen hissed, “Unlock that door and let me out of this pit of vipers. Now.”
Sir Ryan said flatly, “Your badge.”
“What?”
“Your badge of squire’s rank. Return it, please.”
With trembling hands Anomen pulled it from his cloak. His blood boiling with rage, he bent the metal until it snapped. He flung the halves to the floor and spat upon them. “There. That is what I think of the Order and all in it. I cannot believe I wasted so many years trying to prove myself to a worthless group of old men.”
Neither man replied. Keldorn unlocked the door and held it open. Anomen stormed through the door, ignoring the occupants of the Great Hall as he charged to the exit. I shall not give them the satisfaction of seeing me weep. I shall not.
He did not slow his pace until he was nearly back to Delryn House. Then his feet seemed to lead him of their own accord to a garden bench. He sank down in exhaustion.
Anomen found that he could not, in fact, cry. That would require emotion, and he could muster none from the emptiness that consumed him. He did not know how long he sat there, staring sightlessly, before a voice recalled him to himself.
“Anomen?”
The priest looked up to see the disapproving face of High Watcher Oisig. He closed his eyes for a moment in weariness, then said, “And have you come to cast me out as well?”
“I do not have that power. Only the All-Seeing Eye can reject a priest. No, I have come to tell you that if you wish for any chance of redemption for the murders of Saerk and Surayah Farrahd, you will come with me now.”
“And then?”
“Then you will dedicate your life to quiet contemplation and prayer, and hope with all your heart that is enough to atone for your sins. The blood of an innocent does not easily wash away.”
“Surayah,” Anomen said, his teeth clenched in anger. “Everyone is angry that I killed Surayah. But what of Moira, High Watcher? Why does no one speak of my sister?” He rose to his feet and shouted, “What of Moira? Why does no one care that my sister is dead?”
Quietly Oisig said, “I grieve for your loss, Anomen, but that cannot excuse your actions. Please, return with me to the temple.”
“No. I will not atone for an action I feel was just!”
Oisig’s face saddened. “Then I wish you Helm’s mercy, Anomen. You will need it.”
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
Canon - Part 1
Started by
Guest_Silrana_*
, Jun 11 2008 06:23 PM
8 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_IronDragon_*
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Posted 12 June 2008 - 06:04 PM
Anomen along with Jaheira is one of the great tragic figures in the storyline. Both these characters have the potential to grow from the horror life presents them or descend into darkness.*waves* Hiya!
After A Cappella ended, I decided I needed a vacation from BG2. So I've been poking at some original work and bouncing around between several projects.
But I've been plagued by writer's block, and decided (with urgings and occasional pokey sticks from Oyster Girl) that what I needed was a dose of good old BG2 fanfic to get the juices flowing again. In one of those rare flashes of inspiration, this story jumped into my head.
It's not another retelling of the entire saga (I've given enough years to a single story, thank you very much) but a novella-ish story focusing on a single character. And what's more, a character I always said I doubted I would ever write about.
All to often we ignore the possibility of the decent I suppose because we would rather see the good in life and we all hope for the happy ending.
I was a little disturbed by the passiveness of the other players. I know they arrive late on the scene…but they seem to be taking things awfully wellAnomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull. Without so much as a scream, the merchant crumpled at his feet. He whirled to see Yusef, Saerk’s son, dash from the room. He began to give chase when Tendel stepped in his way.
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
Chest heaving with both emotion and exhaustion, the priest snarled, “Out of my way, wizard. This house has plagued mine for long enough! Vermin, every single one!”
“Even innocent children?” Jaheira barked, her face twisted in disgust.
“They are all guilty! All!”
Keldorn ran his hands over his face. For a brief moment it registered in Anomen’s mind that he had never seen the paladin look older or more worn. “Lad, what have you done? By Torm, surely you can see no justice in this.” He gestured towards the bloody ball of cloth and black hair curled on the floor.
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Valygar looked up from his contemplation of Surayah’s corpse. “Anomen? Shut up. Now.”
Your Cor is wonderfully evil. I have often wondered how much of his speech was pain at his daughter’s death, that with just a little work he could be redeemed as his son is redeemed. But here you give a clear answer that he is not a man who cares for anything beyond himself. I was also struck wondering if somehow Cor didn’t have some hand in the death of Moira, either directly (a horrible thought) or indirectly. This has always been a nagging question especially since the murder of Moira is never fully explained, at least to any real satisfaction.He found his father in the parlor. Cor looked up at him and said, “Well?”
“It is done, Father. I... I did as you asked. Saerk is dead.”
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
“And Moira is avenged.”
“And Moira, of course.” He pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and began to pace excitedly. “My old employees must be found and reinstated. With Saerk dead, I can once again resume my shipments to Calimshan.”
Anomen felt a cold ball form in the pit of his stomach. Carefully he said, “Father, will you pray with me for the peace of Moira’s soul?”
“Soon, lad, soon. I must make plans. So much to do.” Cor left the room, barely noticing Anomen’s stricken look.
intersting points of view from both sides“No, Anomen, we will not,” the wizard said. “Or at least you won’t.”
“I-I…”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. I have enough trouble keeping my violent urges under control, so do you really think I want someone who would murder a young girl in my party?”
“It was not murder! It was justice!”
i have to wonder why they don't“You murdered a man for revenge and, even more foul, slaughtered a defenseless young girl. You have committed unforgivable sins. By Torm, it is only at Keldorn’s urging that you are allowed to leave with your life. The Order is well within its rights to execute you for this.”
Anomen makes a surprisingly good point here. if the advice given was to seek out Saerk and if Keldron stood by and let that advice sit is he not culpable in some way in the murders Anomen committed. True it was not Kedorn’s had that did the killing…but he stood passively by and let Anomen go down or be led down that pathIn a guttural whisper Anomen said, “All my life. All my life I've slaved for the Order and now I am cast aside like garbage. Curse you all.” He pointed a shaking finger at Keldorn. “You bastard! This is your fault! You and Tendel led me down this path and for that I have been refused. I should kill you both!”
“Anomen, calm yourself.”
“Who advised me to seek out Saerk? Who told me that I would not rest if my sister’s death went unavenged? Tendel. And who offered me nothing but mealy-mouthed platitudes? You! Did you intend all along to make sure that my Father’s son was disgraced and rejected, held up for humiliation? Traitor!”
“I do not have that power. Only the All-Seeing Eye can reject a priest. No, I have come to tell you that if you wish for any chance of redemption for the murders of Saerk and Surayah Farrahd, you will come with me now.”
“And then?”
“Then you will dedicate your life to quiet contemplation and prayer, and hope with all your heart that is enough to atone for your sins. The blood of an innocent does not easily wash away.”
I will be interested to find out if Helm rejects him as he rejected the possibility of redemption.Quietly Oisig said, “I grieve for your loss, Anomen, but that cannot excuse your actions. Please, return with me to the temple.”
“No. I will not atone for an action I feel was just!”
Oisig’s face saddened. “Then I wish you Helm’s mercy, Anomen. You will need it.”
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
What happens to a priest when his patron rejects him?
#3
Guest_Silrana_*
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Posted 12 June 2008 - 09:42 PM
It's not another retelling of the entire saga (I've given enough years to a single story, thank you very much) but a novella-ish story focusing on a single character. And what's more, a character I always said I doubted I would ever write about.
Anomen along with Jaheira is one of the great tragic figures in the storyline. Both these characters have the potential to grow from the horror life presents them or descend into darkness.
All to often we ignore the possibility of the decent I suppose because we would rather see the good in life and we all hope for the happy ending.
Everyone likes a happy ending. But sometimes there is a lot of pain on the way.
Valygar looked up from his contemplation of Surayah’s corpse. “Anomen? Shut up. Now.”
I was a little disturbed by the passiveness of the other players. I know they arrive late on the scene…but they seem to be taking things awfully well
I think they're just completely stunned. I know I would be.
Anomen felt a cold ball form in the pit of his stomach. Carefully he said, “Father, will you pray with me for the peace of Moira’s soul?”
“Soon, lad, soon. I must make plans. So much to do.” Cor left the room, barely noticing Anomen’s stricken look.
Your Cor is wonderfully evil. I have often wondered how much of his speech was pain at his daughter’s death, that with just a little work he could be redeemed as his son is redeemed. But here you give a clear answer that he is not a man who cares for anything beyond himself. I was also struck wondering if somehow Cor didn’t have some hand in the death of Moira, either directly (a horrible thought) or indirectly. This has always been a nagging question especially since the murder of Moira is never fully explained, at least to any real satisfaction.
I wouldn't judge Cor's personality by just his dialogue about Moira. The game makes it clear that at the very least he was an abusive father and crooked businessman. He was a louse all around.
As far as the murder goes, one think I've never liked is that in the game, who actually killed Moira depends on which track you choose. And if you aren't playing the romance, you don't even find that out. I would have prefered a single solution.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. I have enough trouble keeping my violent urges under control, so do you really think I want someone who would murder a young girl in my party?”
“It was not murder! It was justice!”
intersting points of view from both sides
For a Bhaalspawn trying not to give in to the murderous proddings of Bhaal, having other murderers around isn't really a good idea.
“You murdered a man for revenge and, even more foul, slaughtered a defenseless young girl. You have committed unforgivable sins. By Torm, it is only at Keldorn’s urging that you are allowed to leave with your life. The Order is well within its rights to execute you for this.”
i have to wonder why they don't
Keldorn's voice holds a lot of sway in the Order. He convinced them to give Anomen a chance to turn his life around.
In a guttural whisper Anomen said, “All my life. All my life I've slaved for the Order and now I am cast aside like garbage. Curse you all.” He pointed a shaking finger at Keldorn. “You bastard! This is your fault! You and Tendel led me down this path and for that I have been refused. I should kill you both!”
“Anomen, calm yourself.”
“Who advised me to seek out Saerk? Who told me that I would not rest if my sister’s death went unavenged? Tendel. And who offered me nothing but mealy-mouthed platitudes? You! Did you intend all along to make sure that my Father’s son was disgraced and rejected, held up for humiliation? Traitor!”
Anomen makes a surprisingly good point here. if the advice given was to seek out Saerk and if Keldron stood by and let that advice sit is he not culpable in some way in the murders Anomen committed. True it was not Kedorn’s had that did the killing…but he stood passively by and let Anomen go down or be led down that path
Alas, part of that is a remnant of game mechanics. But there will be a story explanation before the end, I promise. Also, I don't think any of the characters could have foreseen that he would kill a young girl.
“I do not have that power. Only the All-Seeing Eye can reject a priest. No, I have come to tell you that if you wish for any chance of redemption for the murders of Saerk and Surayah Farrahd, you will come with me now.”
“And then?”
“Then you will dedicate your life to quiet contemplation and prayer, and hope with all your heart that is enough to atone for your sins. The blood of an innocent does not easily wash away.”Quietly Oisig said, “I grieve for your loss, Anomen, but that cannot excuse your actions. Please, return with me to the temple.”
“No. I will not atone for an action I feel was just!”
Oisig’s face saddened. “Then I wish you Helm’s mercy, Anomen. You will need it.”
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
I will be interested to find out if Helm rejects him as he rejected the possibility of redemption.
That falls into the 'wait and see' category.
What happens to a priest when his patron rejects him?
They lose all divine powers. They still keep any normal skills, like combat abilities, but they can no longer do things like turn undead.
As for spells, that is sort of a 'DM's call' sort of thing. Some feel that all their spells would be stripped from them, others that they would keep the spells they had already prayed for, but could get no new ones.
Thanks for commenting!
#4
Guest_VigaHrolf_*
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Posted 14 June 2008 - 04:41 AM
*waves* Hiya!
After A Cappella ended, I decided I needed a vacation from BG2. So I've been poking at some original work and bouncing around between several projects.
But I've been plagued by writer's block, and decided (with urgings and occasional pokey sticks from Oyster Girl) that what I needed was a dose of good old BG2 fanfic to get the juices flowing again. In one of those rare flashes of inspiration, this story jumped into my head.
It's not another retelling of the entire saga (I've given enough years to a single story, thank you very much) but a novella-ish story focusing on a single character. And what's more, a character I always said I doubted I would ever write about.
Any of you who have read A Cappella know that one of my goals is realism. That is no less true in this story. I have taken a game event and lifted it out of the realm of game mechanics and into a chain of events that I think more realistically represent the likely consequences of that action... with a few twists, of course.
Enjoy (I hope!)
Hey Sil... good to see you. And always good to see the Plotbunnies hard at work creating new and interesting story ideas. And this one... well, tackling one of the truly tragic tales... and taking the darker road, is a very interesting one indeed.
Anomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull. Without so much as a scream, the merchant crumpled at his feet. He whirled to see Yusef, Saerk’s son, dash from the room. He began to give chase when Tendel stepped in his way.
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
And for a Bhaalspawn and their hauntings... yeah
Chest heaving with both emotion and exhaustion, the priest snarled, “Out of my way, wizard. This house has plagued mine for long enough! Vermin, every single one!”
Anomen in full rage... it's an interesting dichotomy... the Helmite knight with the angry soul. And in this case, it sends him into the darkness.
“Even innocent children?” Jaheira barked, her face twisted in disgust.
*cringes*
Keldorn ran his hands over his face. For a brief moment it registered in Anomen’s mind that he had never seen the paladin look older or more worn. “Lad, what have you done? By Torm, surely you can see no justice in this.” He gestured towards the bloody ball of cloth and black hair curled on the floor.
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Valygar looked up from his contemplation of Surayah’s corpse. “Anomen? Shut up. Now.”
Keldy and V... very in character and very grim.
He walked through the crowded streets, his eyes not truly seeing what was before him. The priest was still filled rage, but who was there now to aim his ire towards? My chest hurts. So tight with anger and the blackness of my soul. He bit back a sob. Moira is still dead. Nothing I have done can change that. Why did I think her death would grieve me less just because Saerk Farrahd no longer lives?
When he reached the door of Delryn House, he noticed for the first time that his companions were not with him. He shrugged in irritation and went inside to find Lord Cor.
I like this touch... because I can't imagine them wanting to accompany... a rage filled murderer.
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
“And Moira is avenged.”
“And Moira, of course.” He pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and began to pace excitedly. “My old employees must be found and reinstated. With Saerk dead, I can once again resume my shipments to Calimshan.”
Anomen felt a cold ball form in the pit of his stomach. Carefully he said, “Father, will you pray with me for the peace of Moira’s soul?”
“Soon, lad, soon. I must make plans. So much to do.” Cor left the room, barely noticing Anomen’s stricken look.
You know... of all the characters one runs into ... Cor is really one of the most loathesome. And this is with Bodhi and Irenicus and even that sketch Mellisan. At least they had megalomaniacal tendencies to fall back on. Cor's just filth. He'd make Daniel Plainview look like a model corporate citizen.
He turned to see Tendel seated on a nearby bench. “Ah, my friend. My father is pleased that I have avenged my sister and restored honor to our name. Shall we join our companions for dinner?”
“No, Anomen, we will not,” the wizard said. “Or at least you won’t.”
“I-I…”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. I have enough trouble keeping my violent urges under control, so do you really think I want someone who would murder a young girl in my party?”
“It was not murder! It was justice!”
Vengeance and the call of blood... I can only imagine what that act felt like in Tendel. Daddy probably loved it.
As he entered the Great Hall, a group of knights turned to stare at him. Anomen ignored them, having spotted Sir Ryan Trawl. He approached the knight and said respectfully, “Greetings, Sir Ryan. I have left Tendel’s company, and am reporting for orders. Should I continue my errantry until my Test, or do you wish to assign me elsewhere?”
Sir Ryan’s mouth fell open. “By Torm, Sir Keldorn was right. You truly do not understand…” He cleared his throat. “Let us step into the antechamber. We should speak in private.”
The Radiant Heart... not like historical knightly orders.
In an even tone Anomen said, “This is about yesterday, is it not? As I explained to Sir Keldorn, I feel my actions were justified by the lack of interest the legal authorities took in pursuing my sister’s murderer.”
Sir Ryan winced. “Anomen, please believe me when I tell you that I take no pleasure in this.” He cleared his throat again and said formally, “Squire Anomen Delryn, you have been found unworthy to remain in the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. You are stripped of all rank and privileges. You will leave this Hall and never enter its doors again.”
Anomen felt all the blood drain from his face. “What? You-you cannot do this! I am not an evil man. I struggle daily in the quest for goodness.”
“You murdered a man for revenge and, even more foul, slaughtered a defenseless young girl. You have committed unforgivable sins. By Torm, it is only at Keldorn’s urging that you are allowed to leave with your life. The Order is well within its rights to execute you for this.”
It was not Justice. And that is where they would fall. Because there was no proof that it was Saerk. And then add in the death of the innocent girl...
Yeah... he's lucky he's not brought up on murder charges and hanged by the city authorities.
In a guttural whisper Anomen said, “All my life. All my life I've slaved for the Order and now I am cast aside like garbage. Curse you all.” He pointed a shaking finger at Keldorn. “You bastard! This is your fault! You and Tendel led me down this path and for that I have been refused. I should kill you both!”
And... he does have a point Keldorn. A good one.
“Who advised me to seek out Saerk? Who told me that I would not rest if my sister’s death went unavenged? Tendel. And who offered me nothing but mealy-mouthed platitudes? You! Did you intend all along to make sure that my Father’s son was disgraced and rejected, held up for humiliation? Traitor!”
That's a good rant.
He did not slow his pace until he was nearly back to Delryn House. Then his feet seemed to lead him of their own accord to a garden bench. He sank down in exhaustion.
Anomen found that he could not, in fact, cry. That would require emotion, and he could muster none from the emptiness that consumed him. He did not know how long he sat there, staring sightlessly, before a voice recalled him to himself.
So much rage....
“Anomen?”
The priest looked up to see the disapproving face of High Watcher Oisig. He closed his eyes for a moment in weariness, then said, “And have you come to cast me out as well?”
“I do not have that power. Only the All-Seeing Eye can reject a priest. No, I have come to tell you that if you wish for any chance of redemption for the murders of Saerk and Surayah Farrahd, you will come with me now.”
“And then?”
“Then you will dedicate your life to quiet contemplation and prayer, and hope with all your heart that is enough to atone for your sins. The blood of an innocent does not easily wash away.”
“Surayah,” Anomen said, his teeth clenched in anger. “Everyone is angry that I killed Surayah. But what of Moira, High Watcher? Why does no one speak of my sister?” He rose to his feet and shouted, “What of Moira? Why does no one care that my sister is dead?”
Quietly Oisig said, “I grieve for your loss, Anomen, but that cannot excuse your actions. Please, return with me to the temple.”
I like this exchange... I really do. His righteous indignation really comes through.
“No. I will not atone for an action I feel was just!”
Oisig’s face saddened. “Then I wish you Helm’s mercy, Anomen. You will need it.”
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
Great story so far Sil. Really enjoying it.
VH
#5
Guest_Silrana_*
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Posted 14 June 2008 - 02:06 PM
Any of you who have read A Cappella know that one of my goals is realism. That is no less true in this story. I have taken a game event and lifted it out of the realm of game mechanics and into a chain of events that I think more realistically represent the likely consequences of that action... with a few twists, of course.
Enjoy (I hope!)
Hey Sil... good to see you. And always good to see the Plotbunnies hard at work creating new and interesting story ideas. And this one... well, tackling one of the truly tragic tales... and taking the darker road, is a very interesting one indeed.
Oh, I always have plot bunnies, too darned many sometimes. But I've had a lot of trouble lately getting the ideas from my head to my fingers.
As for darkness, yes, this tale will have some very dark moments. But for all that, it is not the tale of the game CN Anomen. Because, not to put too fine a point on it, that character is (pardon my language) batshit insane.
No, really. If you read through some of the dialogue strings, the only way to account for such a radical personality change is a psychotic break. He acts in completely irrational ways, and in a 'real' world it would not be long before someone threw a net over him. And unfortunately the romance track, like the Aerie romance, is set up so the only way to keep the romance going is to encourage his self-destructive attitudes.
No, CN Anomen as written in the game is a game mechanic. He's a Gary Stu - his actions never lead to true consequences, because the designers wanted him available as an NPC and romance option. That version would never be allowed to continue as a priest of Helm. Helm isn't Ilmater, his compassion only goes so far, and would never extend to an Anomen who tries to kill party members just because he's angry they feel sorry for him.
So think of this as more of a Fallen Anomen. He is the same man with the same personality, but has allowed his rage and grief to control him. And in this story, he *will* have to deal with the consequences, both in the world and in his heart.
Anomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull. Without so much as a scream, the merchant crumpled at his feet. He whirled to see Yusef, Saerk’s son, dash from the room. He began to give chase when Tendel stepped in his way.
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
And for a Bhaalspawn and their hauntings... yeah
Yeah, even a Bhaalspawn - or at least a non-evil one - can see that trying to take out a whole family is nuts.
Chest heaving with both emotion and exhaustion, the priest snarled, “Out of my way, wizard. This house has plagued mine for long enough! Vermin, every single one!”
Anomen in full rage... it's an interesting dichotomy... the Helmite knight with the angry soul. And in this case, it sends him into the darkness.
It certainly does. And it's a long time before that rage burns down. But when it does...
“Even innocent children?” Jaheira barked, her face twisted in disgust.
*cringes*
*g* Jaheira is nothing if not blunt.
Keldorn ran his hands over his face. For a brief moment it registered in Anomen’s mind that he had never seen the paladin look older or more worn. “Lad, what have you done? By Torm, surely you can see no justice in this.” He gestured towards the bloody ball of cloth and black hair curled on the floor.
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Valygar looked up from his contemplation of Surayah’s corpse. “Anomen? Shut up. Now.”
Keldy and V... very in character and very grim.
Very, very grim. Because let's face it, nobody saw that coming. I know I sure wouldn't have in the game.
He walked through the crowded streets, his eyes not truly seeing what was before him. The priest was still filled rage, but who was there now to aim his ire towards? My chest hurts. So tight with anger and the blackness of my soul. He bit back a sob. Moira is still dead. Nothing I have done can change that. Why did I think her death would grieve me less just because Saerk Farrahd no longer lives?
When he reached the door of Delryn House, he noticed for the first time that his companions were not with him. He shrugged in irritation and went inside to find Lord Cor.
I like this touch... because I can't imagine them wanting to accompany... a rage filled murderer.
Yeah, that's part of what I mean by game mechanics. "Gee, our companion just slaughtered an innocent young girl... well, off to the next quest!"
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
“And Moira is avenged.”
“And Moira, of course.” He pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and began to pace excitedly. “My old employees must be found and reinstated. With Saerk dead, I can once again resume my shipments to Calimshan.”
Anomen felt a cold ball form in the pit of his stomach. Carefully he said, “Father, will you pray with me for the peace of Moira’s soul?”
“Soon, lad, soon. I must make plans. So much to do.” Cor left the room, barely noticing Anomen’s stricken look.
You know... of all the characters one runs into ... Cor is really one of the most loathesome. And this is with Bodhi and Irenicus and even that sketch Mellisan. At least they had megalomaniacal tendencies to fall back on. Cor's just filth. He'd make Daniel Plainview look like a model corporate citizen.
It has been said for many years on the Attic that if you took a poll of who people believed was the greatest villain in the game, the winner would be Lord Cor. Especially among the people who have played the romance track and read the lines about Anomen hiding in the pantry as a boy to escape his father's drunken rages.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. I have enough trouble keeping my violent urges under control, so do you really think I want someone who would murder a young girl in my party?”
“It was not murder! It was justice!”
Vengeance and the call of blood... I can only imagine what that act felt like in Tendel. Daddy probably loved it.
Oh heck yes, Bhaal was probably chortling while eating popcorn.
As he entered the Great Hall, a group of knights turned to stare at him. Anomen ignored them, having spotted Sir Ryan Trawl. He approached the knight and said respectfully, “Greetings, Sir Ryan. I have left Tendel’s company, and am reporting for orders. Should I continue my errantry until my Test, or do you wish to assign me elsewhere?”
Sir Ryan’s mouth fell open. “By Torm, Sir Keldorn was right. You truly do not understand…” He cleared his throat. “Let us step into the antechamber. We should speak in private.”
The Radiant Heart... not like historical knightly orders.
And not like the game one either. Because really, can anyone imagine a group of paladins letting him stay in the organization after he killed Surayah?
“You murdered a man for revenge and, even more foul, slaughtered a defenseless young girl. You have committed unforgivable sins. By Torm, it is only at Keldorn’s urging that you are allowed to leave with your life. The Order is well within its rights to execute you for this.”
It was not Justice. And that is where they would fall. Because there was no proof that it was Saerk. And then add in the death of the innocent girl...
To be honest, even if Anomen had had ironclad proof that Saerk was responsible for Moira's death, he still would have been in trouble for taking personal vengeance. But Surayah's death would have sealed it.
Yeah... he's lucky he's not brought up on murder charges and hanged by the city authorities.
Actually, that is a separate issue. The Order is allowed a certain amount of leeway in policing its own members. If they had executed Anomen for murder, the Amnian authorities would have gone along with it since it's such a clear cut case. But just because the Order hasn't taken action, that doesn't mean he's off the hook with the civil authorities.
Of course, this being Amn, the question is will they bother. They have a tendency to ignore trade wars and their bloodshed.
In a guttural whisper Anomen said, “All my life. All my life I've slaved for the Order and now I am cast aside like garbage. Curse you all.” He pointed a shaking finger at Keldorn. “You bastard! This is your fault! You and Tendel led me down this path and for that I have been refused. I should kill you both!”
And... he does have a point Keldorn. A good one.
Which is one of the reasons he asked the Order to show mercy. Anomen isn't the only one dealing with the emotional costs of his actions.
“Who advised me to seek out Saerk? Who told me that I would not rest if my sister’s death went unavenged? Tendel. And who offered me nothing but mealy-mouthed platitudes? You! Did you intend all along to make sure that my Father’s son was disgraced and rejected, held up for humiliation? Traitor!”
That's a good rant.
I enjoy writing a good foaming rant.
He did not slow his pace until he was nearly back to Delryn House. Then his feet seemed to lead him of their own accord to a garden bench. He sank down in exhaustion.
Anomen found that he could not, in fact, cry. That would require emotion, and he could muster none from the emptiness that consumed him. He did not know how long he sat there, staring sightlessly, before a voice recalled him to himself.
So much rage....
And grief. If his father had dumped this in his lap after he had had time to adjust to Moira's death, he might have had a calmer reaction.
“Surayah,” Anomen said, his teeth clenched in anger. “Everyone is angry that I killed Surayah. But what of Moira, High Watcher? Why does no one speak of my sister?” He rose to his feet and shouted, “What of Moira? Why does no one care that my sister is dead?”
Quietly Oisig said, “I grieve for your loss, Anomen, but that cannot excuse your actions. Please, return with me to the temple.”
I like this exchange... I really do. His righteous indignation really comes through.
For this Anomen, it's all about Moira. That's the point he keeps coming back to because that's what he really cares about.
“No. I will not atone for an action I feel was just!”
Oisig’s face saddened. “Then I wish you Helm’s mercy, Anomen. You will need it.”
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
Great story so far Sil. Really enjoying it.
VH
I'm glad you like it. I just hope you enjoy where I take him.
Thanks for commenting!
#6
Weyoun
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Posted 15 June 2008 - 08:57 PM
*waves* Hiya!
Hey, long time no sees! Though I assume you've been lurking in the background, maybe?
After A Cappella ended, I decided I needed a vacation from BG2. So I've been poking at some original work and bouncing around between several projects.
But I've been plagued by writer's block, and decided (with urgings and occasional pokey sticks from Oyster Girl) that what I needed was a dose of good old BG2 fanfic to get the juices flowing again. In one of those rare flashes of inspiration, this story jumped into my head.
Sometimes it's good to get your mind of things to reset the creative process.
Anomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull.
Laska : Ah, good start. So that's the violence, now all we need is the sex!
Korgan : Oy! More violence!
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
Korgan : Never! Har HAR!
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Laska : *sigh* What that guy needs is a good, hard shag.
Weyoun : Well...
Laska : I'm not stepping up to the plate AGAIN! Let him find another girl!
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
But not the liquor cabinet...
“Tendel, please!”
The Bhaalspawn gave him a last cold look, then walked away.
Harsh... but perhaps he's right in a way.
Sir Ryan winced. “Anomen, please believe me when I tell you that I take no pleasure in this.” He cleared his throat again and said formally, “Squire Anomen Delryn, you have been found unworthy to remain in the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. You are stripped of all rank and privileges. You will leave this Hall and never enter its doors again.”
He's lost everything now. Ouch.
Sir Ryan said flatly, “Your badge.”
“What?”
“Your badge of squire’s rank. Return it, please.”
With trembling hands Anomen pulled it from his cloak. His blood boiling with rage, he bent the metal until it snapped. He flung the halves to the floor and spat upon them. “There. That is what I think of the Order and all in it. I cannot believe I wasted so many years trying to prove myself to a worthless group of old men.”
Laska : To be honest... I think he's better of, but that's just me.
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
Stubborn as ever, Anomen is... Stubborn as ever.
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers
---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.
Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!
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"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi
---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.
Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!
---
"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi
#7
Guest_Silrana_*
Guest_Silrana_*
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Posted 15 June 2008 - 09:44 PM
*waves* Hiya!
Hey, long time no sees! Though I assume you've been lurking in the background, maybe?
Off and on. Unfortunately, I'm just now learning how 'off', because I am way behind on reading stories. I'm working on TnT right now.
After A Cappella ended, I decided I needed a vacation from BG2. So I've been poking at some original work and bouncing around between several projects.
But I've been plagued by writer's block, and decided (with urgings and occasional pokey sticks from Oyster Girl) that what I needed was a dose of good old BG2 fanfic to get the juices flowing again. In one of those rare flashes of inspiration, this story jumped into my head.
Sometimes it's good to get your mind of things to reset the creative process.
It certainly seems to have helped. I think I needed something fresh to work on.
Anomen brought the Flail of Ages crashing down upon Saerk’s skull.
Laska : Ah, good start. So that's the violence, now all we need is the sex!
Korgan : Oy! More violence!
*laughs* No sex. Well, maybe some. But not for a long while.
“Anomen, enough! Ilmater’s mercy, hasn’t there been enough death?”
Korgan : Never! Har HAR!
Anomen tried not to look directly at the dead girl. “She is no innocent, I tell you. None of this family is. Say what you will, not even the Order will tell me differently. All of these dogs will die.”
Laska : *sigh* What that guy needs is a good, hard shag.
Weyoun : Well...
Laska : I'm not stepping up to the plate AGAIN! Let him find another girl!
I think right now his problems are more than even shagging Laska can help.
Lord Cor’s face lit with fiendish glee. “Wonderful! Anomen, my son, I am proud of you. My enemy, finally dead. You have restored our honor and our fortune.”
But not the liquor cabinet...
*snerk*
“Tendel, please!”
The Bhaalspawn gave him a last cold look, then walked away.
Harsh... but perhaps he's right in a way.
Well, think of it this way - if someone you knew got worked up and murdered a girl in cold blood, how chummy would *you* feel after that?
Sir Ryan winced. “Anomen, please believe me when I tell you that I take no pleasure in this.” He cleared his throat again and said formally, “Squire Anomen Delryn, you have been found unworthy to remain in the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. You are stripped of all rank and privileges. You will leave this Hall and never enter its doors again.”
He's lost everything now. Ouch.
It gets worse. Oh, does it get worse.
Sir Ryan said flatly, “Your badge.”
“What?”
“Your badge of squire’s rank. Return it, please.”
With trembling hands Anomen pulled it from his cloak. His blood boiling with rage, he bent the metal until it snapped. He flung the halves to the floor and spat upon them. “There. That is what I think of the Order and all in it. I cannot believe I wasted so many years trying to prove myself to a worthless group of old men.”
Laska : To be honest... I think he's better of, but that's just me.
It's a debatable point. A lot of people have pointed out that Anomen seems to crave someone to second guess him. That makes being in an ordered environment like the Radiant Heart a natural for him.
Anomen snarled, “I do not want your pity! I do not want anyone’s pity!”
Shaking his head, Oisig began to turn away, but hesitated. He looked the young man in the eye and said mournfully, “You have it, all the same.”
Stubborn as ever, Anomen is... Stubborn as ever.
Yep. That's not going to go away anytime soon.
Thanks for commenting!
#9
Guest_Silrana_*
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Posted 06 July 2008 - 03:20 PM
Hello!
*waves* Hiya!
I have not been around a lot, and almost lost interest in reading stuff at all, but this just might make me want to read fan fiction again. An excellent first chapter! Can't wait to see what comes next....
Well, there is plenty of reading to go. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I hope you like the rest.
Thanks for commenting!
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