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Destiny’s Foster Child : 12


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#1 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 15 December 2007 - 01:38 AM

No Stupid Answers
Or
Of Course of Course



The midday sun shown high above the heads of the party as they journeyed south. Their destination was Nashkel, the apparent source of the iron crisis that has plagued the sword coast. There seemed little along the Tradeway road to indicate that anything in the land was amiss. Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows. The six members of the adventuring group had spread out along the road and Jaheira found herself walking next to a strangely quiet Xzar. She thought it a perfect time to try to get to know this enigmatic young man better. “It is good to be on the road again,” she said. “Even if we did have to stay for one final breakfast at the Feldepost.”

“Today’s menu was particularly yummy.” Xzar rubbed his stomach to emphasize his point.

“It was exactly the same fair that they have provided since our arrival there.”

“Yes, but knowing it will be the last such dining experience for a good while made it especially satisfying.”

“If you insist.”

The silence returned and Xzar sighed. “I find myself missing Garrick and his music. His songs made traveling like this a pleasurable experience.”

“I do not understand why he chose to remain behind. And what did he mean by ‘having to work on background and credibility issues’?”

Xzar grinned. “Oh those wacky bards.”

“Still it is good to be on the way to the Nashkell mines. The iron crisis plaguing the land will not resolve itself you know.”

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?

“Well naturally …” Jaheira stopped walking to favor Xzar with one of her glares. “Honey attracting llamas?” She sighed and continued. “Well naturally we are the adventuring group to resolve this crisis.”

“But, how do you know?”

“Well who else? This crisis arose at the very time you leave Candlekeep on the way to fulfilling you destiny. It is obvious that you are the one to resolve it.”

“Jaheira, your logic is impeccable, but it just doesn’t make sense…and please pause to consider just who is telling you that. You are saying that the universe put this entire crisis on hold while waiting for us to wander around Bereghost, while we spent day after day chasing an insane paper pusher and tracking down a missing kobold fancier?”

“Well…naturally.”

“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”

“Yes, things there will be waiting for us to arrive. And I know this because I do. And please stop asking inane questions.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that papa used to always say that there were no stupid questions, just stupid answers…and occasionally stupid people on Jeopardy. This didn’t stop papa from asking stupid questions.” He adopted a low pitched yet nasally voice. “‘Xzar, where did this corpse come from?’ ‘Xzar, is that goat’s blood I smell?’ ‘Xzar are you wearing lederhosen?’ ‘Xzar, you’ve been in that bathroom for over an hour, what in the nine hells are you doing in there?’”

Jaheira worked hard to remove the mental image of Xzar in lederhosen from her mind. “I am sorry, of course there are no stupid questions. I forget that your youth was spent cloistered away from civilization and there are many aspects of the world you are unfamiliar with.”

“So, you are saying I can ask any question I like?” Xzar asked claiming his hands with excitement.

“I am certain I will live to regret answering in the affirmative,” Jaheira said eyeing him cautiously.

“That wasn’t an answer.”

She sighed resolved to her fate. “You may ask reasonable questions. If you are unsure what constitutes a reasonable question just remember, I carry a weapon, and I know how to use it with utmost efficiency. Efficient enough to ensure that the asker of any inappropriate question will never, ever, be able to father children. Am I being clear?”

“Crystal clear.”

“Good. I am glad we are able to communicate so easily.”

“I was just wondering one thing.”

“Need I remind you of my quarterstaff so soon?”

Xzar held up his hands. “No. No. That quarterstaff is quite in the forefront of my brain.”

“Good. What are you wondering about?”

“Horses,” Xzar said.

“Horses?”

“Yes, horses.”

“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”

“And maybe put beautiful flowing ribbons in it.”

“And then spend hours brushing her main out.”

“Blue ribbons,” Xzar sighed.

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”

“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”

“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”

“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”

“And ever.”

“Yeah,” Xzar smiled.

“Yeah, Jaheira agreed. “…what about horses are you wondering?”

This seemed to bring Xzar back to the here and now. “Well, this is a long journey.”

“Yes, it certainly is.”

“We are heading far to the south.”

“Into the Cloudpeak Mountains.”

“And we have a lot of equipment.” Xzar noted.

“It is good to be prepared.”

“Heavy equipment.”

Jaheira glanced behind them at the tiny figures in the distance that ere their team mates. “Ajantis and Kagain seem to be baring up under the burden rather well, even if they have fallen far behind us.”

“I am sure they will catch up eventually. But here is my thought…wouldn’t it be more expedient if we were to…oh I don’t know…ride horses to our destination?”

So great was her surprise at the notion, it caused Jaheira to actually stop walking. “Ride?”

“Yes ride a horse.” Xzar cureld his had in front of him as if grasping a reign and made little bouncing motions. “Giddyup…Get along little doggie…Hi ho Silver. Any of this ringing a bell?”

“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. And I have heard your theories about the extra-dimensional origin of nasal mucus.”

“Ridiculous?” Xzar asked

“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”

Xzar held up a finger. “No stupid questions, remember?”

Jaheira shorted in disgust and continued walking south. “Well Gorion was wrong. There obviously are stupid questions. Ride a horse indeed.”

#2 Guest_Futurist_*

Posted 15 December 2007 - 01:50 PM

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?


That is a very, very good question, Xzar.



“Well who else? This crisis arose at the very time you leave Candlekeep on the way to fulfilling you destiny. It is obvious that you are the one to resolve it.”

“Jaheira, your logic is impeccable, but it just doesn’t make sense…and please pause to consider just who is telling you that. You are saying that the universe put this entire crisis on hold while waiting for us to wander around Bereghost, while we spent day after day chasing an insane paper pusher and tracking down a missing kobold fancier?”

“Well…naturally.”

“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”

“Yes, things there will be waiting for us to arrive. And I know this because I do. And please stop asking inane questions.”


:)

“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”


I think he said pre-pubescent, Jaheira... not thirty and happily married.

Jaheira glanced behind them at the tiny figures in the distance that ere their team mates. “Ajantis and Kagain seem to be baring up under the burden rather well, even if they have fallen far behind us.”


:lol:

They are letting them carry all the stuff?

“I am sure they will catch up eventually. But here is my thought…wouldn’t it be more expedient if we were to…oh I don’t know…ride horses to our destination?”

So great was her surprise at the notion, it caused Jaheira to actually stop walking. “Ride?”

“Yes ride a horse.” Xzar cureld his had in front of him as if grasping a reign and made little bouncing motions. “Giddyup…Get along little doggie…Hi ho Silver. Any of this ringing a bell?”


We can only dream Xzar, it is obvious that Faerunian man was not meant to ride to destinations.

“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”


:lol:

The questions that shall not be asked.

#3 Guest_Phoenix_*

Posted 15 December 2007 - 05:17 PM

Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.

Eh?
:lol:

“Still it is good to be on the way to the Nashkell mines. The iron crisis plaguing the land will not resolve itself you know.”

I still wonder whether it's Nashkel or Naskhell with tho l's, like llama :)


“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”

Uhuh. Even if you, say, leave for the rescue of your childhood friend for two months there still will be at least one dragon and three towns in need waiting for you ;)

Jaheira worked hard to remove the mental image of Xzar in lederhosen from her mind.

:lol:
*works hard too*


“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”

“And maybe put beautiful flowing ribbons in it.”

“And then spend hours brushing her main out.”

“Blue ribbons,” Xzar sighed.

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”

“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”

“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”

“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”

“And ever.”

“Yeah,” Xzar smiled.

“Yeah, Jaheira agreed. “…what about horses are you wondering?”

This was great :lol:


“I am sure they will catch up eventually. But here is my thought…wouldn’t it be more expedient if we were to…oh I don’t know…ride horses to our destination?”

So great was her surprise at the notion, it caused Jaheira to actually stop walking. “Ride?”

Nah, that's just too logical ;)

Game mechanics are stupid, and you manage to bring them out in all their wondrous detail it seems :)

#4 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:40 AM


Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?


That is a very, very good question, Xzar.

I thougth so too….its like some great game is being played with these characters…err…wait..





“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”


I think he said pre-pubescent, Jaheira... not thirty and happily married.

Once a little girl…always a little girl


Jaheira glanced behind them at the tiny figures in the distance that ere their team mates. “Ajantis and Kagain seem to be baring up under the burden rather well, even if they have fallen far behind us.”


:)

They are letting them carry all the stuff?

Hey...they wanted the strength modifiers, let them put it to good use


“I am sure they will catch up eventually. But here is my thought…wouldn’t it be more expedient if we were to…oh I don’t know…ride horses to our destination?”

So great was her surprise at the notion, it caused Jaheira to actually stop walking. “Ride?”

“Yes ride a horse.” Xzar cureld his had in front of him as if grasping a reign and made little bouncing motions. “Giddyup…Get along little doggie…Hi ho Silver. Any of this ringing a bell?”


We can only dream Xzar, it is obvious that Faerunian man was not meant to ride to destinations.

Can you imagine the calves on those people?





“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”


:lol:

The questions that shall not be asked.

yet here we are asking them

#5 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:48 AM

Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.

Eh?
:lol:

Puts a new spin on sightseeing

“Still it is good to be on the way to the Nashkell mines. The iron crisis plaguing the land will not resolve itself you know.”

I still wonder whether it's Nashkel or Naskhell with tho l's, like llama :)

Llook llively Lloyd it’s the lland llord and his pet llama llavender


“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”

Uhuh. Even if you, say, leave for the rescue of your childhood friend for two months there still will be at least one dragon and three towns in need waiting for you ;)

Jaheira worked hard to remove the mental image of Xzar in lederhosen from her mind.

:lol:
*works hard too*

I think he would be rather striking


“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”

“And maybe put beautiful flowing ribbons in it.”

“And then spend hours brushing her main out.”

“Blue ribbons,” Xzar sighed.

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”

“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”

“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”

“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”

“And ever.”

“Yeah,” Xzar smiled.

“Yeah, Jaheira agreed. “…what about horses are you wondering?”

This was great :lol:



My characters have conversations like this all the time in my head…I suppose that says way to much about me

“I am sure they will catch up eventually. But here is my thought…wouldn’t it be more expedient if we were to…oh I don’t know…ride horses to our destination?”

So great was her surprise at the notion, it caused Jaheira to actually stop walking. “Ride?”

Nah, that's just too logical ;)

Game mechanics are stupid, and you manage to bring them out in all their wondrous detail it seems :)

I’ve barely scratched the surface of the illogic here

#6 Guest_Clight_*

Posted 16 December 2007 - 09:58 AM

Mm, sorry to only say something to comment negatively, I've been reading and enjoying throughout the whole of this serial so far, but... The questions you pose here aren't that good after the couple of first ones. For instance, no farms? You mean like the ones you don't see in Nashkel? You make this sound more like the world of Diablo or something.

Well, at least there are always the hobgoblins frolicking naked in the meadows. :)

#7 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 17 December 2007 - 01:43 PM

The midday sun shown high above the heads of the party as they journeyed south. Their destination was Nashkel, the apparent source of the iron crisis that has plagued the sword coast. There seemed little along the Tradeway road to indicate that anything in the land was amiss. Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.


Well, at least it’s an improvement over the elves…

“I do not understand why he chose to remain behind. And what did he mean by ‘having to work on background and credibility issues’?”


Trust me, you probably don’t want to know. And are not ‘supposed’ to know, anyway.

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.”


Short answer? Destiny. :twisted:

“Well who else? This crisis arose at the very time you leave Candlekeep on the way to fulfilling you destiny. It is obvious that you are the one to resolve it.”


See? :)

“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”


“Yes, things there will be waiting for us to arrive. And I know this because I do.”


Yes, but even if you do know it, you should have been pestering Xzar with endless complaints about not going to the mines quickly enough…

Jaheira worked hard to remove the mental image of Xzar in lederhosen from her mind. “I am sorry, of course there are no stupid questions. I forget that your youth was spent cloistered away from civilization and there are many aspects of the world you are unfamiliar with.”


Especially concerning gam-… I mean, the world mechanics, yes, that’s it.

She sighed resolved to her fate. “You may ask reasonable questions. If you are unsure what constitutes a reasonable question just remember, I carry a weapon, and I know how to use it with utmost efficiency. Efficient enough to ensure that the asker of any inappropriate question will never, ever, be able to father children. Am I being clear?”


I would have probably kept quiet from now on, but then again, Xzar is crazy. Well, more crazy.

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”


“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”


“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”


“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”


I think at some point you should buy her a horse, Xzar. :D

This seemed to bring Xzar back to the here and now. “Well, this is a long journey.”


“Yes, it certainly is.”


“We are heading far to the south.”


“Into the Cloudpeak Mountains.”


“And we have a lot of equipment.” Xzar noted.


Are you going somewhere with this? Excuse me… is he going somewhere with this?

“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”


Yes stop questioning these things Xzar, or you may break the fragile fabric of this wonderfully logically constructed universe.

Jaheira shorted in disgust and continued walking south. “Well Gorion was wrong. There obviously are stupid questions. Ride a horse indeed.”


Well, he is completely mad, as we knew already. :twisted:

#8 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 17 December 2007 - 11:14 PM

Mm, sorry to only say something to comment negatively, I've been reading and enjoying throughout the whole of this serial so far, but... The questions you pose here aren't that good after the couple of first ones. For instance, no farms? You mean like the ones you don't see in Nashkel? You make this sound more like the world of Diablo or something.

Well, at least there are always the hobgoblins frolicking naked in the meadows. :)

next chapter I actually show why there are no farms

and no family reunions

#9 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 17 December 2007 - 11:25 PM

The midday sun shown high above the heads of the party as they journeyed south. Their destination was Nashkel, the apparent source of the iron crisis that has plagued the sword coast. There seemed little along the Tradeway road to indicate that anything in the land was amiss. Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.


:)

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?


The truth, Xzar, is that yours is the only adventuring party in existence.

“Jaheira, your logic is impeccable, but it just doesn’t make sense…and please pause to consider just who is telling you that. You are saying that the universe put this entire crisis on hold while waiting for us to wander around Bereghost, while we spent day after day chasing an insane paper pusher and tracking down a missing kobold fancier?”

“Well…naturally.”


:evil:

“I’m sorry. It’s just that papa used to always say that there were no stupid questions, just stupid answers…and occasionally stupid people on Jeopardy. This didn’t stop papa from asking stupid questions.” He adopted a low pitched yet nasally voice. “‘Xzar, where did this corpse come from?’ ‘Xzar, is that goat’s blood I smell?’ ‘Xzar are you wearing lederhosen?’ ‘Xzar, you’ve been in that bathroom for over an hour, what in the nine hells are you doing in there?’”


I don't know what's scarier, the goat blood or the lederhosen.

“I know what they are. Moreover, I understand why girls love them so. Wouldn’t it be great to have a horse of your own? You could comb its mane…”

Jaheira smiled dreamily. “And braid that mane.”

“And maybe put beautiful flowing ribbons in it.”

“And then spend hours brushing her main out.”

“Blue ribbons,” Xzar sighed.

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”


“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”

“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”

“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”

“And ever.”

“Yeah,” Xzar smiled.

“Yeah, Jaheira agreed. “…what about horses are you wondering?”


:D :twisted: :twisted:

Clearly I was wrong when I thought you wouldn't top the frolicking hobgoblins :?:

#10 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 18 December 2007 - 05:04 AM

The midday sun shown high above the heads of the party as they journeyed south. Their destination was Nashkel, the apparent source of the iron crisis that has plagued the sword coast. There seemed little along the Tradeway road to indicate that anything in the land was amiss. Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.


Well, at least it’s an improvement over the elves…

Ill say…those elves do to many high kicks for my taste

“I do not understand why he chose to remain behind. And what did he mean by ‘having to work on background and credibility issues’?”


Trust me, you probably don’t want to know. And are not ‘supposed’ to know, anyway.

BINGO

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.”


Short answer? Destiny. :twisted:

just not his destiny

“Well who else? This crisis arose at the very time you leave Candlekeep on the way to fulfilling you destiny. It is obvious that you are the one to resolve it.”


See? :)

the game seems to agree

“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”


“Yes, things there will be waiting for us to arrive. And I know this because I do.”


Yes, but even if you do know it, you should have been pestering Xzar with endless complaints about not going to the mines quickly enough…

my Jaheira has enough personality issues as is

Jaheira worked hard to remove the mental image of Xzar in lederhosen from her mind. “I am sorry, of course there are no stupid questions. I forget that your youth was spent cloistered away from civilization and there are many aspects of the world you are unfamiliar with.”


Especially concerning gam-… I mean, the world mechanics, yes, that’s it.

Well even if he was raised in candlekeep…all he would have learned is that the monks there have nothing better to do than to stand equal distanced apart around the library providing information of game mechanics

She sighed resolved to her fate. “You may ask reasonable questions. If you are unsure what constitutes a reasonable question just remember, I carry a weapon, and I know how to use it with utmost efficiency. Efficient enough to ensure that the asker of any inappropriate question will never, ever, be able to father children. Am I being clear?”


I would have probably kept quiet from now on, but then again, Xzar is crazy. Well, more crazy.

any sane man would...but again..Xzar...

“I would make beautiful flower garlands for my horse.”


“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”


“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”


“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”


I think at some point you should buy her a horse, Xzar. :D

Oh….*makes scribbled notes for future story…laughs evilly to self*

This seemed to bring Xzar back to the here and now. “Well, this is a long journey.”


“Yes, it certainly is.”


“We are heading far to the south.”


“Into the Cloudpeak Mountains.”


“And we have a lot of equipment.” Xzar noted.


Are you going somewhere with this? Excuse me… is he going somewhere with this?

shush and enjoy the scenery

“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”


Yes stop questioning these things Xzar, or you may break the fragile fabric of this wonderfully logically constructed universe.

So just how does the local economy run? And how is it simple merchants have unlimited access to gold?

Jaheira shorted in disgust and continued walking south. “Well Gorion was wrong. There obviously are stupid questions. Ride a horse indeed.”


Well, he is completely mad, as we knew already. :twisted:

yes...we know

#11 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 18 December 2007 - 05:08 AM


The midday sun shown high above the heads of the party as they journeyed south. Their destination was Nashkel, the apparent source of the iron crisis that has plagued the sword coast. There seemed little along the Tradeway road to indicate that anything in the land was amiss. Birds proudly sang their songs, brave squirrels chattered at them from the safety of their trees as they passed, hobgoblins frolicked naked in the meadows.


:)

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?


The truth, Xzar, is that yours is the only adventuring party in existence.

that would explain...most everything


“Jaheira, your logic is impeccable, but it just doesn’t make sense…and please pause to consider just who is telling you that. You are saying that the universe put this entire crisis on hold while waiting for us to wander around Bereghost, while we spent day after day chasing an insane paper pusher and tracking down a missing kobold fancier?”

“Well…naturally.”


:D

“I’m sorry. It’s just that papa used to always say that there were no stupid questions, just stupid answers…and occasionally stupid people on Jeopardy. This didn’t stop papa from asking stupid questions.” He adopted a low pitched yet nasally voice. “‘Xzar, where did this corpse come from?’ ‘Xzar, is that goat’s blood I smell?’ ‘Xzar are you wearing lederhosen?’ ‘Xzar, you’ve been in that bathroom for over an hour, what in the nine hells are you doing in there?’”


I don't know what's scarier, the goat blood or the lederhosen.

For real fun…combine the two



Clearly I was wrong when I thought you wouldn't top the frolicking hobgoblins :twisted:

after all this time...how little you know me

#12 Weyoun

Posted 27 December 2007 - 12:09 AM

“Today’s menu was particularly yummy.” Xzar rubbed his stomach to emphasize his point.


Side order of elder god and a desert of Eternal Madness? :lol:

Xzar frowned thoughtfully. “I have been meaning to ask you about that. Why do you assume we will be the lucky adventuring party to solve this iron crisis? I mean, the shortages have been going on for weeks and weeks now, it seems like it should have attracted the attention of dozens of adventuring groups, many of them much more powerful and experienced than we are. Why this iron shortage has the word ‘quest’ written all over it, or maybe it has ‘quisp’ written all over it.” Xzar rubbed his belly again. “….mmmm, now I’m thinking about breakfast once more. Anyway. This whole ‘iron crisis’ thing, shouldn’t it be attracting adventurers like honey attracts llamas?


I thought llamas attracted phlegm. :lol:

“And if we chose to …say… travel to the coast to work on our tans before hitting the mines? Or take on any number of side quests between here and the mine, will things continue to remain on hold until we deign arrive? …And please don’t say ‘naturally.’”


Sidequests aplenty in this game. :lol:

She sighed resolved to her fate. “You may ask reasonable questions. If you are unsure what constitutes a reasonable question just remember, I carry a weapon, and I know how to use it with utmost efficiency. Efficient enough to ensure that the asker of any inappropriate question will never, ever, be able to father children. Am I being clear?”


The really brave adventurer would ask for details right about now. :lol:

“They are large hooved plant-eating quadrupeds. Mammals. They generally congregate in herds and graze on grass. They are often the fantasy objects of many pre-pubescent girls.”


Plus, they make fine glue.

“And I would always have an apple for her, she would love apples.”


“And she would come when you call,” Jaheira went on. “Because she truly loves me and me alone.”


“And she would listen to your innermost secrets and you would be the bestest of friends forever.”


Laska : Plus, horses have huge...

Weyoun : Elf!

Laska : What? I'm saying what everybody's thinking.

Weyoun : Oh, be quiet, you. Adding my 2 cents, horses make for great steak.

“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. And I have heard your theories about the extra-dimensional origin of nasal mucus.”


“Ridiculous?” Xzar asked


“I am truly shocked that you would consider such a thing, or even ask about something like that. Next thing you know you will be wanting to know where all the food the people in the cities eat comes from. Or why we never see any farms. Or just how local economies function given all the wealth is hidden away in remote, disused dungeons.”


Adventurer based economies are ripe for collapse.

Xzar held up a finger. “No stupid questions, remember?”


Jaheira shorted in disgust and continued walking south. “Well Gorion was wrong. There obviously are stupid questions. Ride a horse indeed.”


Pfft, yeah, really. Who needs them anyway? :)
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

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"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi




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