Destiny’s Foster Child : 9

Out on a LARP
Or
Parental Supervision Required


“You enter the storefront. The entire place is painted in bright garish colors and your senses are overwhelmed with colors and noise and the many other patrons of this establishment. The aroma of the foul, yet addicting, brown liquid overwhelms you. This particular business specializes in the nocuous beverage and the evil owners reap a hearty profit off of the weak will and gullibility of other consumers. Ahead of you is a long line of very well dressed people waiting to make their purchases.”

“I get in line,” Sarevok said. “I complain about the wait and the cost associated coming here to anyone who will listen.”

Semaj smiled slightly but hid it behind the large screen he had placed on the table between himself and Saravok and the others. “The woman in front of you sneers at your remarks. You can tell she thinks ill of you, your attitude and your off the rack clothing. Make a will saving throw to keep from running off to hide in the bathroom.”

Tazok laughed. “You are like so busted dude. It’s washroom duty for you.”

“Like yaa…your low charisma modifier sinks you every time.” Angelo said smirking.

“Natural 20!” Sarevok laughed nasally. “Haaa! I meet her disdainful gaze with one of my own. I am secure in my knowledge that I am her intellectual superior and I know she wants me. Gaaa! I will impress her with my order of a grande half caf soy mocha latte.”

“Sarevok!” Reiltar Anchev bellowed from the doorway.

“Gaa! Dad! I have like told you a million billion times to knock. Geeeze!”

“This is still my house. If you want privacy, then get a job and move out of the basement.”

“Hello Mr. Anchev. My, what a handsome chest plate you are wearing today.”

“Oh hello Tazok.” Reiltar said. He eyed the four huddled around a table. He took in the dozens of garishly colored books and multitudes of strange shaped dice. “What in the nine hells are you boys doing?”

Sarevok rolled his eyes in disgust. “Like, it’s Papers and Paychecks™.” He waited for some sort of recognition from his father. “It’s a role playing game, we play students and service personnel in a technology based fantasy world. I’m Todd, a 4th level computer technician and Tazok is a 3rd level art history major named Brittany.”

“I need to talk to you…in private.” Anchev interrupted. “That is if you can tear yourself away from such important activities.”

“Sorry guys,” Sarevok sighed. “Be right back.”

“What were you thinking?” Reiltar yelled after taking only a few steps away from the group. “I had to learn from the servants that you have left the city and traveled south. At first, I was pleased, I thought you were finally taking initiative, finally growing up. I dared to think you were actually trying to help me with my plan to bring the Western Highlands under my rule. I dared hope that you were traveling to our camp in the Larswood, going to help organize and inspire the men for the long weeks off work still ahead. But, do I find this to be so? No! I find you have gone to the middle of nowhere to do only the Gods know what. And now that you have returned you have no explanation and worse I am told that three of my men are dead, three men! And two priceless trained ogres dead as well.”

“Trained?”

“Well, house broken at least.”

Sarevok sniffed.

“Well mostly house trained. Anyone can have an occasional accident. Don’t change the subject. What were you doing down there?”

“Gaaa…stuff…like…”

Reiltar’s eyes narrowed. “It was that Tamoko wasn’t it? She talked you into some fool spree.”

Sarevok turned several shades of red. He began twisting his skinny arms all around himself while making strange choking noises.

“What is wrong with you?”

Sarevok had his face buried in his hands. He peaked out from between his fingers “It’s just that, like Tamoko is like…so pretty!...Gaa!” He began twisting around anew.

Reiltar’s shoulder sagged. “I’m never going to be a grandfather am I?”

“Whaaa?” Sarevok enquired having stopped his gyrations.

“Never mind.” Reiltar took out a piece of pink paper. “And you also need to explain this bill form the evil emporium. It’s for a costume you purchased…something called ‘over the top spooky armor.’”

I don't know what was best, Papers and Paychecks or the armour bill

I don't know what was best, Papers and Paychecks or the armour bill

Giving credit where credit is due….Papers and paychecks was a joke/cartoon from the very first Dungeon Master’s Guide. (I’m showing my age again)

Semaj smiled slightly but hid it behind the large screen he had placed on the table between himself and Saravok and the others. “The woman in front of you sneers at your remarks. You can tell she thinks ill of you, your attitude and your off the rack clothing. Make a will saving throw to keep from running off to hide in the bathroom.”

Awwww, the Evil guys are roleplaying! How adorable!

“This is still my house. If you want privacy, then get a job and move out of the basement.”

Living in a basement at the parent’s place? The definition of a ‘geek’ isn’t that?

Sarevok rolled his eyes in disgust. “Like, it’s Papers and Paychecks™.” He waited for some sort of recognition from his father. “It’s a role playing game, we play students and service personnel in a technology based fantasy world. I’m Todd, a 4th level computer technician and Tazok is a 3rd level art history major named Brittany.”

And Tazok is a natural at his role?

Sarevok had his face buried in his hands. He peaked out from between his fingers “It’s just that, like Tamoko is like…so pretty!...Gaa!” He began twisting around anew.

Awww, he’s so cute when he’s bashful.

“Never mind.” Reiltar took out a piece of pink paper. “And you also need to explain this bill form the evil emporium. It’s for a costume you purchased…something called ‘over the top spooky armor.’”

Ah, but I’m sure you’ll be plenty impressed when you see him wearing it!

Semaj smiled slightly but hid it behind the large screen he had placed on the table between himself and Saravok and the others. “The woman in front of you sneers at your remarks. You can tell she thinks ill of you, your attitude and your off the rack clothing. Make a will saving throw to keep from running off to hide in the bathroom.”

Awwww, the Evil guys are roleplaying! How adorable!

ther arn't evil!. they are...misunderstood

“This is still my house. If you want privacy, then get a job and move out of the basement.”

Living in a basement at the parent’s place? The definition of a ‘geek’ isn’t that?

I did everything but give him a pocket protector…hmmmm pocket protector

Sarevok rolled his eyes in disgust. “Like, it’s Papers and Paychecks™.” He waited for some sort of recognition from his father. “It’s a role playing game, we play students and service personnel in a technology based fantasy world. I’m Todd, a 4th level computer technician and Tazok is a 3rd level art history major named Brittany.”

And Tazok is a natural at his role?

a fantasy maybe

Sarevok had his face buried in his hands. He peaked out from between his fingers “It’s just that, like Tamoko is like…so pretty!...Gaa!” He began twisting around anew.

Awww, he’s so cute when he’s bashful.

A feel an episode of Beauty and the Geek coming on

“Never mind.” Reiltar took out a piece of pink paper. “And you also need to explain this bill form the evil emporium. It’s for a costume you purchased…something called ‘over the top spooky armor.’”

Ah, but I’m sure you’ll be plenty impressed when you see him wearing it!

It’s still coming out of his allowance

“Natural 20!” Sarevok laughed nasally. “Haaa! I meet her disdainful gaze with one of my own. I am secure in my knowledge that I am her intellectual superior and I know she wants me. Gaaa! I will impress her with my order of a grande half caf soy mocha latte.”

....

“Gaa! Dad! I have like told you a million billion times to knock. Geeeze!”

That is... painfully Napoleon Dynamite...

I’m Todd, a 4th level computer technician and Tazok is a 3rd level art history major named Brittany.”

and I'm a mysterious half-unemployed with possibly a negative wisdom modifier!

“Never mind.” Reiltar took out a piece of pink paper. “And you also need to explain this bill form the evil emporium. It’s for a costume you purchased…something called ‘over the top spooky armor.’”

Well, he needs it, if the above really describes what is in the armor...

“Natural 20!” Sarevok laughed nasally. “Haaa! I meet her disdainful gaze with one of my own. I am secure in my knowledge that I am her intellectual superior and I know she wants me. Gaaa! I will impress her with my order of a grande half caf soy mocha latte.”

....

“Gaa! Dad! I have like told you a million billion times to knock. Geeeze!”

That is... painfully Napoleon Dynamite...

LOL…yep it is

I’m Todd, a 4th level computer technician and Tazok is a 3rd level art history major named Brittany.”

and I'm a mysterious half-unemployed with possibly a negative wisdom modifier!

i know i have a negative wisdom modifier

“Never mind.” Reiltar took out a piece of pink paper. “And you also need to explain this bill form the evil emporium. It’s for a costume you purchased…something called ‘over the top spooky armor.’”

Well, he needs it, if the above really describes what is in the armor...

well...youve seen the armor...isn't it over the top?