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Destiny’s Foster Child : 7


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#1 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 29 October 2007 - 08:26 AM

Breakfast of Champions
Or
That’s No Bureaucrat, That’s My Wife

“I am disturbed about the noticeable lack of quests we have received while here in Beregost,” Jaheira said as she contemplated her tankard of prune juice. The party had gathered in the main dinning hall of the Feldepost for breakfast. The inn was famous for it’s breakfast buffet, all you can eat for 5.99. Across the table plates overflowed with eggs, sausage, and steaming griddle cakes.

“What do you m…mean d…d…dear?” Khalid asked around a mouthful of fired potatoes.

“I mean since our arrival here in Beregost we have had no quests presented to us. By this time we should have acquired at least five, possibly six.”

“Doesn’t helping me out of that jam count?” Garrick asked as he spread some jelly on toast.

Jaheira gave him a stony glance. “I suppose so. But that does not negate my point.”

“W…well we d…d…didn’t receive that m…many at the Friendly Arm.”

“What about the Iron Crisis quest?” Ajantis asked. “Didn’t we get that there?”

Montaron grunted. “That hardly counts, we all knew about it before we checked in.”

“True,” Ajantis said sounding disappointed.

“We d…did have the quest to deal with the hobgoblin b…bandits. And we g…got to r…return Joia’s r…ring to her.”

“Don’t remind me of that.” Montaron grumbled into his eggs.

Xzar was busy sculpting his porridge into the shape of a flat topped mountain. “Well we did get another quest at the Friendly Arm. I spoke with a woman…at least I think it was a woman…. She said that she left her home because it had become infested with giant spiders. Remembering Monty’s lecture about how good adventurer’s respond to such things I said that we would get rid of the pesky things for her so she could return to her home.”

“Giant spiders?” Ajantis asked.

“Well maybe just huge ones…she was awfully short.”

From outside the inn someone could be heard shouting “Fire! Fire!”

Jaheira was carefully arranging her cutlery in precise parallel rows on her perfectly cleaned plate. “Well it is a bit late now. We can check back with her should we return north and perhaps take care of her infestation then.”

“Oh no…you misunderstand.” Xzar said. “She lives here in Beregost.”

Form outside there was the clanging of bells. Several guests of the Feldepost rushed to the windows as the large horse drawn fire brigade wagon sped past.

Ajantis put down his sausage-laden fork. “So she left her home and then journeyed for several days along bandit infested roads, alone, to get to an inn when Beregost itself is overflowing with inns.”

“Yes.”

“Well we c…could deal with a few s…spiders,” Khalid said. And we are h…here a…after all.”

“Agreed,” Jaheira said as she folded her napkin into he shape of a swan. “We shall go and deal with the infestation directly after breakfast.”

Xzar was putting sausage ‘trees’ onto his porridge mountain. “Don’t bother, I wanted to try out a new spell so I popped over to her home and took care of the beasties while you were all sleeping in. You know, you all should consider getting up a teensy bit earlier. It’s the early bird that catches the worm you know.”

“And it be the second mouse that gets the cheese,” Montaron said.

“It’s the widow Landrin’s place. Gone up in flames it has.” One of the Inn staff said to the patrons of a nearby table. “The poor dear is sure to have lost everything.”

Ajantis slapped Xzar heartily on the back nearly sending him into his breakfast sculpture. “I applaud you for your industriousness.”

Jaheira frowned. “It would have been best if we accompanied you. Large spiders can be dangerous.”

Xzar gave her a dismissive wave. “Oh bother, they all died with ease.”

“What spell did you use on them?” Montaron asked.

“Fireball.”

“Ohhh.”

“Well it all worked out well in the end.” Jaheira said. “In the mean time I propose we split up and explore the other inns of this town and perhaps the temples in search of the quests I simply know are waiting for us.”

Xzar was giving his artwork a last approving look. “Very good idea Jaheira. And in the future I won’t wander off without consulting with you or Monty. But on the bright side I learned something new in the process, spider webs are extremely flammable.”

 



“Yesterday was a complete waste of time.” Jaheira was pushing the remains of her breakfast, a single piece of plain whole wheat toast, (dry of course) around her plate. Once again the breakfast buffet of the Feldepost Inn was proving quite popular with her traveling companions. Everyone’s plates were laden to overflowing with eggs, sausage, baked goods, potatoes and even the stray turnip. Jaheira had to admit the buffet was especially good and that is likely why she had indulged to excess this morning, eating nearly all of her piece of toast. “Aside from Garrick’s discovery of a quest to find the dark cleric Bassilus ….” She scowled in the general direction of Garrick. “Garrick must you read the newspaper at the table?”

Garrick was well hidden behind the morning edition of the Bereghost Gazette. The bold headline read: ‘Yes, It Is A Fine Day.’ He rustled the paper and sighed. “Current events Jaheira, bard here remember….got to keep up with current events.”

Jaheira glowered for a moment before continuing. Rumor has it that the dark cleric Bassilus is somewhere to the east…”

“Clerk,” Garrick said turning a page of the paper in front of him.

“Excuse me?” Jaheira said.

“Clerk.” Garrick repeated, peeking out from behind the sports section. “It’s the dark clerk Bassilus.”

“That is ridiculous. I am sure he is a cleric.”

“No, I checked. He is a bureaucrat, a former clerk at the town hall, department of land management or something. Well I assume he is now a former clerk…what with the mass murdering and all. I’m sure people expect wicked deeds form people at the town hall, but I am sure he crossed the line after the thirtieth murder.”

“There is no such thing as a ‘dark bureaucrat’ Garrick.”

“Clerk,” Garrick corrected her before sliding back behind his newspaper.

“W…well dear…there was that one c…clerk at the town hall….the one who was in charge of m…marriage license. You m…must remember him”

“Gave you two a spot of bother?” Ajantis asked while sopping up maple syrup with huge hunk of griddlecake.

“I would rather not go into that right now,” Jaheira started to say.

“T…tried to refuse us a m…marriage license,” Khalid said solemnly.

This gave Ajantis pause. “Why did he do that…or was it just because he was an evil bureaucrat?”

“All bureaucrats be evil don’t ya know. I hear its part of the job requirement,” Montaron said as he returned from a third trip to the buffet line

“All bureaucrats are not evil!” Jaheira announced. Everyone at the table stared at her with a look of incredulity. She cleared her throat and searched her memory for an example of a non-evil bureaucrat, clerk or governmental official. After some time she softly said, “Well I am sure there must be one or two who qualify as chaotic neutral… somewhere.”

Ajantis nodded thoughtfully before turning back to Khalid. “What was this clerk’s problem?”

“Well…it seems that this fellow was a friend of Jaheira’s former ..b…b…beau.”

Ajantis grinned broadly, “So, you had some competition for the hand of the fair Jaheira huh?”

Garrick’s paper folded down of its own accord revealing his startled face. “You’re kidding,” he said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jaheira snapped. She favored Garrick with a look that would make any veteran orc warrior soil himself.

Garrick went pale. “Um..well...it’s just that…I find it difficult to believe that a bureaucrat could ever stand in the way of true love…yes…that is exactly what I meant.”

“Good save.” Montaron whispered thanking his lucky stars that he had his mouth full when Khalid dropped the little bomb about Jaheira having multiple suitors.

Jaheira brushed Garrick’s explanation aside and turned to Ajantis. “It was not because of any former association with…him. It is just he was not usually assigned to that position in the registrar of deeds office and the many forms were just unfamiliar to him. That is all.”

“Where did this bloke usually work then?” Montaron asked.

“The DMV.”

Silence enveloped the table. The five men tuned and looked at Jaheira.

“Oh fine” she eventually said. “He was evil.” She glowered for a moment. But that is besides the point, other than the information on this Bassilus, we found nothing in the way of noteworthy quests.”

Xzar stopped buttering his bacon and turned to her and said, “Well, we found another assassin employed by ‘crazy Ackbar’ didn’t we? You remember, the fellow at the Red Sheaf in, the one who loudly announced to everyone hat he was an assassin and his intention was to kill me. All well and nice to claim, but he wasn’t a real assassin, seems he was just a student. I suppose we could say that finding out why someone is trying to assassinate me is a quest.” Xzar returned to applying butter to the various pork products on his plate.

“And how do you know, aside from the fact he all but fell over and died at our request, that he was merely a student?”

Xzar licked the butter from his fingers, reached into his pouch, and pulled out a sheaf of papers. “I took this off of him, it is Lesson 4 of his correspondence course from crazy Akbar’s school of Assassination and Cosmetology. He had completed the assignment and taken the self-test. I guess he was looking for a stamp to mail it in when we stumbled across him. He only got one wrong on that self-test, rather impressive really.” Xzar scanned the sheets. “This is the one he got wrong, ‘Question 34: You have discovered your quarry in a small seedy tavern in a backwater town. You:
A. Slip quietly behind your target and stab him/her/it in back repeatedly until dead.

B. Offer to buy your target a drink.

C. Shout loudly that you are an assassin and plan to kill him/her/it then bask in resulting fear and admiration.

D. Request the inn’s bard sing a song that foreshadows the victim’s death.”

Ajantis looked puzzled, “So what is the right answer?”

They all turned to stare at him for a bit. Eventually Montaron shouted “A.” and then muttered “brainless tin plated jackdaw,” under his breath.

“Wait,” Khalid said taking the test papers out of Xzar’s hand and flipping through them.. “He answered ‘C’ to every q…question. And he got n…ninety nine out of one hundred of them right. But he was only guessing.”

Xzar grinned. “See Monty. And you always laugh at me when I say when in doubt…”

Garrick snapped his paper down. “Good friends. Not to interrupt this scintillating conversation…well…I actually do wish to interrupt this conversation…I believe I have found us a new quest.”

“In the sports section?”

“No…the classifieds that is what I have been studying.” He said tapping the paper briskly

Montaron leaned over. “Then why have you been circling adverts in the personals column?”

Garrick snatched the paper away. “Um…potential evil criminals to hunt down…yes…I will check them all out personally…later…alone. Anyway listen to this advertisement.” He cleared his throat and read. “‘Wanted. Low level adventuring party to find lost caravan. Reasonable rates, no height requirements, dental plan. No exp necessary.’”

#2 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 29 October 2007 - 02:21 PM

“I am disturbed about the noticeable lack of quests we have received while here in Beregost,” Jaheira said as she contemplated her tankard of prune juice.


How can you even squeeze juice from prunes? :cry:

Jaheira gave him a stony glance. “I suppose so. But that does not negate my point.”


“W…well we d…d…didn’t receive that m…many at the Friendly Arm.”


There were never all that many quests in BG1, disappointingly so. Until you got to the big city itself, of course.

Ajantis put down his sausage-laden fork. “So she left her home and then journeyed for several days along bandit infested roads, alone, to get to an inn when Beregost itself is overflowing with inns.”


Maybe FAI has cheaper rooms? You know how dwarves are…

“It’s the widow Landrin’s place. Gone up in flames it has.” One of the Inn staff said to the patrons of a nearby table. “The poor dear is sure to have lost everything.”


Look at the bright side… that must have taken care of the spiders, too.

“Clerk.” Garrick repeated, peeking out from behind the sports section. “It’s the dark clerk Bassilus.”


… maybe there isn’t a difference?

This gave Ajantis pause. “Why did he do that…or was it just because he was an evil bureaucrat?”


“All bureaucrats be evil don’t ya know. I hear its part of the job requirement,” Montaron said as he returned from a third trip to the buffet line


I am absolutely certain that it must be, yes.

“All bureaucrats are not evil!” Jaheira announced. Everyone at the table stared at her with a look of incredulity. She cleared her throat and searched her memory for an example of a non-evil bureaucrat, clerk or governmental official. After some time she softly said, “Well I am sure there must be one or two who qualify as chaotic neutral… somewhere.”


Aw, I’m sorry, but… no. :)

“Well…it seems that this fellow was a friend of Jaheira’s former ..b…b…beau.”


Ajantis grinned broadly, “So, you had some competition for the hand of the fair Jaheira huh?”


Oh, I am pretty sure it was a fierce battle. :D

Garrick’s paper folded down of its own accord revealing his startled face. “You’re kidding,” he said.


Well, it’s only Garrick, after all. Someone with a ‘talent’ like his can’t be expected to have anything even remotely resembling a good taste. :(

“Where did this bloke usually work then?” Montaron asked.


“The DMV.”


Silence enveloped the table. The five men tuned and looked at Jaheira.


“Oh fine” she eventually said. “He was evil.” She glowered for a moment.


There, there, so they forced you to admit what you must have known all along. ;)

A. Slip quietly behind your target and stab him/her/it in back repeatedly until dead.


B. Offer to buy your target a drink.


C. Shout loudly that you are an assassin and plan to kill him/her/it then bask in resulting fear and admiration.


D. Request the inn’s bard sing a song that foreshadows the victim’s death.”


Ajantis looked puzzled, “So what is the right answer?”


For some reason most would-be assassins choose C.

“No…the classifieds that is what I have been studying.” He said tapping the paper briskly


Montaron leaned over. “Then why have you been circling adverts in the personals column?”


How dreadfully sad of him. Not like we expected anything else. ;)

#3 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 30 October 2007 - 08:27 AM

“I am disturbed about the noticeable lack of quests we have received while here in Beregost,” Jaheira said as she contemplated her tankard of prune juice.


How can you even squeeze juice from prunes? :)

I’ve never thought to ask. (I suspect it is actually a puree :( )

Jaheira gave him a stony glance. “I suppose so. But that does not negate my point.”


“W…well we d…d…didn’t receive that m…many at the Friendly Arm.”


There were never all that many quests in BG1, disappointingly so. Until you got to the big city itself, of course.

I think there are...they just aren’t as well organized as in SoA

Ajantis put down his sausage-laden fork. “So she left her home and then journeyed for several days along bandit infested roads, alone, to get to an inn when Beregost itself is overflowing with inns.”


Maybe FAI has cheaper rooms? You know how dwarves are…

I thought she was a gnome

“It’s the widow Landrin’s place. Gone up in flames it has.” One of the Inn staff said to the patrons of a nearby table. “The poor dear is sure to have lost everything.”


Look at the bright side… that must have taken care of the spiders, too.

of course

“Clerk.” Garrick repeated, peeking out from behind the sports section. “It’s the dark clerk Bassilus.”


… maybe there isn’t a difference?

A few clerics imnght disagree

This gave Ajantis pause. “Why did he do that…or was it just because he was an evil bureaucrat?”


“All bureaucrats be evil don’t ya know. I hear its part of the job requirement,” Montaron said as he returned from a third trip to the buffet line


I am absolutely certain that it must be, yes.

Being a former bureaucrat…I can assure you that it is true

“All bureaucrats are not evil!” Jaheira announced. Everyone at the table stared at her with a look of incredulity. She cleared her throat and searched her memory for an example of a non-evil bureaucrat, clerk or governmental official. After some time she softly said, “Well I am sure there must be one or two who qualify as chaotic neutral… somewhere.”


Aw, I’m sorry, but… no. :D

Giving me a great story idea. a non-evil bureaucrat…teased and tormented by his evil co-workers

“Well…it seems that this fellow was a friend of Jaheira’s former ..b…b…beau.”


Ajantis grinned broadly, “So, you had some competition for the hand of the fair Jaheira huh?”


Oh, I am pretty sure it was a fierce battle. ;)

The battle was epic....And someday…I will reveal that particular story :cry:

Garrick’s paper folded down of its own accord revealing his startled face. “You’re kidding,” he said.


Well, it’s only Garrick, after all. Someone with a ‘talent’ like his can’t be expected to have anything even remotely resembling a good taste. ;)

Well next chapter Garrick gets some lessons on his taste


“Where did this bloke usually work then?” Montaron asked.


“The DMV.”


Silence enveloped the table. The five men tuned and looked at Jaheira.


“Oh fine” she eventually said. “He was evil.” She glowered for a moment.


There, there, so they forced you to admit what you must have known all along. :)

so true

A. Slip quietly behind your target and stab him/her/it in back repeatedly until dead.


B. Offer to buy your target a drink.


C. Shout loudly that you are an assassin and plan to kill him/her/it then bask in resulting fear and admiration.


D. Request the inn’s bard sing a song that foreshadows the victim’s death.”


Ajantis looked puzzled, “So what is the right answer?”


For some reason most would-be assassins choose C.

well at least in BG1

“No…the classifieds that is what I have been studying.” He said tapping the paper briskly


Montaron leaned over. “Then why have you been circling adverts in the personals column?”


How dreadfully sad of him. Not like we expected anything else. :)

Hey…the personals can be a lovely way for like minded people to meet and fall in love…I’m sure it has happened once or twice.

#4 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 30 October 2007 - 02:35 PM

“I am disturbed about the noticeable lack of quests we have received while here in Beregost,” Jaheira said as she contemplated her tankard of prune juice. The party had gathered in the main dinning hall of the Feldepost for breakfast. The inn was famous for it’s breakfast buffet, all you can eat for 5.99. Across the table plates overflowed with eggs, sausage, and steaming griddle cakes.


*drools*

“I mean since our arrival here in Beregost we have had no quests presented to us. By this time we should have acquired at least five, possibly six.”


Yes, because nobody can ever solve anything by themselves!

“Giant spiders?” Ajantis asked.

“Well maybe just huge ones…she was awfully short.”


:P

Form outside there was the clanging of bells. Several guests of the Feldepost rushed to the windows as the large horse drawn fire brigade wagon sped past.


So, where's the fire?

Ajantis put down his sausage-laden fork. “So she left her home and then journeyed for several days along bandit infested roads, alone, to get to an inn when Beregost itself is overflowing with inns.”

“Yes.”


Which is one of the reasons why I chose to let her Handle It Herself when I wrote about her :?

“It’s the widow Landrin’s place. Gone up in flames it has.” One of the Inn staff said to the patrons of a nearby table. “The poor dear is sure to have lost everything.”


Fixed it, Xzar said? :roll:

Xzar gave her a dismissive wave. “Oh bother, they all died with ease.”

“What spell did you use on them?” Montaron asked.

“Fireball.”


:P :P :P

(Not that a fireball ever does any structural damage :D )

“Clerk.” Garrick repeated, peeking out from behind the sports section. “It’s the dark clerk Bassilus.”


Oh?

“No, I checked. He is a bureaucrat, a former clerk at the town hall, department of land management or something. Well I assume he is now a former clerk…what with the mass murdering and all. I’m sure people expect wicked deeds form people at the town hall, but I am sure he crossed the line after the thirtieth murder.”


:D

Ajantis grinned broadly, “So, you had some competition for the hand of the fair Jaheira huh?”

Garrick’s paper folded down of its own accord revealing his startled face. “You’re kidding,” he said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jaheira snapped. She favored Garrick with a look that would make any veteran orc warrior soil himself.

Garrick went pale. “Um..well...it’s just that…I find it difficult to believe that a bureaucrat could ever stand in the way of true love…yes…that is exactly what I meant.”

“Good save.” Montaron whispered thanking his lucky stars that he had his mouth full when Khalid dropped the little bomb about Jaheira having multiple suitors.


I wholeheartedly agree with Monty :(

Xzar stopped buttering his bacon and turned to her and said, “Well, we found another assassin employed by ‘crazy Ackbar’ didn’t we? You remember, the fellow at the Red Sheaf in, the one who loudly announced to everyone hat he was an assassin and his intention was to kill me. All well and nice to claim, but he wasn’t a real assassin, seems he was just a student. I suppose we could say that finding out why someone is trying to assassinate me is a quest.” Xzar returned to applying butter to the various pork products on his plate.


...buttered? Bacon? :wink:

Great chapter :(

#5 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 31 October 2007 - 07:08 AM

“I am disturbed about the noticeable lack of quests we have received while here in Beregost,” Jaheira said as she contemplated her tankard of prune juice. The party had gathered in the main dinning hall of the Feldepost for breakfast. The inn was famous for it’s breakfast buffet, all you can eat for 5.99. Across the table plates overflowed with eggs, sausage, and steaming griddle cakes.


*drools*

There is a small restaurant near me that does a breakfast buffet like this on the weekends. I do not allow myself to travel within several miles of that place…my jeans are tight enough thank you


“I mean since our arrival here in Beregost we have had no quests presented to us. By this time we should have acquired at least five, possibly six.”


Yes, because nobody can ever solve anything by themselves!

“colorful yet inept locals”




Form outside there was the clanging of bells. Several guests of the Feldepost rushed to the windows as the large horse drawn fire brigade wagon sped past.


So, where's the fire?

Ajantis put down his sausage-laden fork. “So she left her home and then journeyed for several days along bandit infested roads, alone, to get to an inn when Beregost itself is overflowing with inns.”

“Yes.”


Which is one of the reasons why I chose to let her Handle It Herself when I wrote about her :D

She was probably intended as a game device to make sure you traveled to Bereghost next rather than to harder areas.



“It’s the widow Landrin’s place. Gone up in flames it has.” One of the Inn staff said to the patrons of a nearby table. “The poor dear is sure to have lost everything.”


Fixed it, Xzar said? :roll:

well the spiders ARE dead


Xzar gave her a dismissive wave. “Oh bother, they all died with ease.”

“What spell did you use on them?” Montaron asked.

“Fireball.”


:P :P :P

if only the game let you solve problems like that creatively








Ajantis grinned broadly, “So, you had some competition for the hand of the fair Jaheira huh?”

Garrick’s paper folded down of its own accord revealing his startled face. “You’re kidding,” he said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jaheira snapped. She favored Garrick with a look that would make any veteran orc warrior soil himself.

Garrick went pale. “Um..well...it’s just that…I find it difficult to believe that a bureaucrat could ever stand in the way of true love…yes…that is exactly what I meant.”

“Good save.” Montaron whispered thanking his lucky stars that he had his mouth full when Khalid dropped the little bomb about Jaheira having multiple suitors.


I wholeheartedly agree with Monty :P

there will be more on Jaheira's mystery suitor later


Xzar stopped buttering his bacon and turned to her and said, “Well, we found another assassin employed by ‘crazy Ackbar’ didn’t we? You remember, the fellow at the Red Sheaf in, the one who loudly announced to everyone hat he was an assassin and his intention was to kill me. All well and nice to claim, but he wasn’t a real assassin, seems he was just a student. I suppose we could say that finding out why someone is trying to assassinate me is a quest.” Xzar returned to applying butter to the various pork products on his plate.


...buttered? Bacon? :wink:

Great chapter :?

i can get Xzar to play with his food...he just wont eat any of it




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