Destiny’s Foster Child : 4

Ancient Chinese Secret
Or
Coming Clean


To Sir Keldorn Firecam,
C/O The Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart
5673 Thudpucker Ave.
Athkatla, Amn 48640-0028

Dear honorable sponsor and advisor.

It is with great joy that I write to you this evening and report of not just one stroke of great fortune but two. The first bit of luck that I have had is that I have been welcomed into an adventuring party, they seek to engage in many noble causes, not the least of which is smiting any and all evil people they come across. I know you advised me against joining such groups, but I have found that simply standing around on a seldom used road accosting any travelers that happens by has produced very little in the way of note worthy adventures. Most days it felt as if all I was doing was annoying the farmers who resided in the area. Boring it may have been but the local farmers did greatly expand my vocabulary, I learned many new words and phrases these past few months, though I confess some have left me stymied as to their meaning. Could you please send one of the first year squires to the library for some research, see if he can find out exactly what a “tin-plated jackdaw” is and why my mother, noble and virtuous woman she is, would care to engage in a tryst with such a thing.

The leader of my new adventuring party is a young is a mage of great wisdom and renowned. His history is, naturally, shrouded in mystery but I have learned that he was hidden away at a very young age in the great library fortress of Candlekeep and only recently come out into the world to seek his destiny. Currently he is on a quest to avenge the murder of his father. Obviously, he is of noble birth, common people just do not have personal histories like that.

While he will not say more of his heritage or his upbringing I suspect a great and noble paladin has quietly retired behind the cloistered walls of Candlekeep. The young leader posses an ethical center like few I have ever encountered. Within a few moments of our meeting he applied a barrage of harsh and probing ethical questions to me like I have never encountered in all my years of training and service to the order. He sought to find my moral core and stroke it, to test its steel and my resolve. An elder Paladin, one of great strength and virtue, could only have taught such determination and the ability to see into the souls of others. I cannot wait to engage him in discussions about morality and the superiority of good, I can only imagine the insights I will gain. Truly, I can feel the hand of Lord Helm in arranging our chance meeting, I know the great watcher wishes for me to learn all I can from this wizard Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque.

The second bit of good fortune is that I have found that the washer woman of the Friendly Arm Inn is incredibly skilled. It has been some time since my whites have been so white and my colors so vivid and bright. I dare say this woman is on a par with Squire Anomen Delryn. I do miss Anomen doing my laundry, that man certainly knew his way around a pair of men’s underwear.

I shall write again soonest. Give Maria a smooch for me.

Yours in honor.
Ajantis Ilvastarr




“Well Monty, I have solved my pressing undergarment issues.”

“I’ve had me nightmares that started just like this,” Montaron muttered.

“Look what I have.” Xzar, reached down and took hold of the hem of his robes and in a single sudden motion pulled the them all the way up to is neck.

“Ahhh!...” Montaron screamed. “Oh. Yer wearing breeches. Thank the gods.”

Beneath Xzar’s emerald robes, he wore a pair of slim fitting pants. The pants were bright gold in color and shimmered in the sunlight. The snug golden garment seemed to have been cut for a shorter person as the cuffs came only to the necromancer’s calf thought he rest fit him very well. Short or not, they were a stunning site to behold.

Xzar turned one way then the other to show off his new pants. “Colorful, comfortable and just my size.” Xzar swiveled his hips around and waved his golden backside at Montaron. He gave himself a slap on the buttocks, exclaimed “Oh baby!” He then licked two fingers and then touched them to the read pocket making a hissing sound. “Smokin!” He exclaimed.

“They be mighty strange looking….err…what are they?”

“Pantaloons, Monty, these are pantaloons. Aren’t they just the living end?”

Despite his better judgement, Montaron found himself admiring the gold pants. “Well they be bright and shiny all right, what be they made of…they look like metal.”

“That’s because they are metal.”

That gave Montaron pause. “What?”

Xzar thumped his knuckles on his pants as if knocking on a door, and there was a hollow metallic ringing in response. “See…metal.”

“How is that possible? How do the bend and move with ye? Why do they sound hollow?”

Xzar let his robes settle back into place. “I’m sure I don’t know. But, I have decided that from now on all my dainty under things will be made of metal. All I can say is that these had better please our woodsy companion. Though knowing her, I am certain she would prefer they be made of birch bark and pine needles.”

“Where did you get them?” Montaron asked, even though he knew he would regret doing so.

“Why, from one of the guests here at the inn. I guess this place really is the friendly Arm… despite that it is an ominous black tower, with a moat and an iron gate, and the fact that their wine cellar is actually a disused temple of the late god of murder.”

Montaron waved a finger at Xzar. “I keep telling you, fire works is your job, and robbing stupid people of their valuables be mine. And how did you wrangle a tour of the wine cellar?”

“Oh I didn’t steel them – last night this wonderful man on the third floor gave them to me.”

“He just up and gave them to ya?”

“Handed them right over.”

“Out of the goodness of his heart I suppose.”

“Well he did seem to think I was the laundry girl – At first I was rather insulted by that. But then, I remembered the laundry girl is quite fetching. So you see, it was quite a complement to me.”

“So you did nick them. I know this is gonna cause us nothing but trouble. I just know it.”

“Oh Monty, you worry too much. What’s the worst that could happen?”




Bently Mirrorshades was a gnome of few words. He peered over his glasses at Abegathia, the young and rather pretty laundry girl of the Friendly Arm Inn “You’re fired,” He said.





Khalid was whistling a sprightly tune as he polished his armor.

Jaheira smiled at him, “You certainly very chipper this morning Khalid. What has put such a smile on your face?”

Khalid reached down into the laundry basket next to him and pulled out a pair of his underwear. Look d…dear, bleached, no starch and…” He put them to his face and inhaled deeply, a serene smile crossed his face, “j…just a hint of lavender.” He set the underwear back down but found Jaheira had gone back to bed. “Jaheira dear, are you all right? You look p…pained.”





“He fired you?” Brawnhilda, the matronly head housekeeper of the inn asked as she handed Abegathia a clean handkerchief. “What ever for?”

“One of the guests accused me of steeling. Bentley wouldn’t even listen to me. I don’t know anything about any golden pantaloons. This is horrible, this job is my life. It is all I ever dared to dream of becoming. Why ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought only about doing other people’s laundry.”

“Where will you go?”

Abegathia dabbed the handkerchief at her eyes. “My Auntie has invited me to come live with her in Waterdeep and become a prostitute.”

Brawnhilda smiled in a motherly way. “You are lucky to have family that cares so about you so.”

The girl squared her shoulders and said with resolve. “I expect I shall birth many a child into abject poverty and then die at an early age. It was a good enough life for my mother, it will be good enough for me.”

“I’m sure your children will be beautiful grubby things. And I know they will all have the best laundered clothes in the ghetto.”

Abegathia gave the elder woman a warm hug. “You’re too kind. And maybe, just maybe one day one of my many daughters will aspire to live a grander life and she too will dream of taking in people’s laundry. If so I would be so proud.”

Brawnhilda smiled. “Well, you can always hope for the best for your children.”

The leader of my new adventuring party is a young is a mage of great wisdom and renowned. His history is, naturally, shrouded in mystery but I have learned that he was hidden away at a very young age in the great library fortress of Candlekeep and only recently come out into the world to seek his destiny. Currently he is on a quest to avenge the murder of his father. Obviously, he is of noble birth, common people just do not have personal histories like that.

Yes, you can see Destiny written all over that one.

While he will not say more of his heritage or his upbringing I suspect a great and noble paladin has quietly retired behind the cloistered walls of Candlekeep. The young leader posses an ethical center like few I have ever encountered. Within a few moments of our meeting he applied a barrage of harsh and probing ethical questions to me like I have never encountered in all my years of training and service to the order. He sought to find my moral core and stroke it, to test its steel and my resolve. An elder Paladin, one of great strength and virtue, could only have taught such determination and the ability to see into the souls of others. I cannot wait to engage him in discussions about morality and the superiority of good, I can only imagine the insights I will gain. Truly, I can feel the hand of Lord Helm in arranging our chance meeting, I know the great watcher wishes for me to learn all I can from this wizard Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque.

Perhaps Xzar shouldn’t be too eager to engage such discussions, though. And maybe at some point, Ajantis will think to cast Detect Evil just in case, and get some strange reading.

The second bit of good fortune is that I have found that the washer woman of the Friendly Arm Inn is incredibly skilled. It has been some time since my whites have been so white and my colors so vivid and bright. I dare say this woman is on a par with Squire Anomen Delryn. I do miss Anomen doing my laundry, that man certainly knew his way around a pair of men’s underwear.

Years of long practice will see to that, indeed.

Beneath Xzar’s emerald robes, he wore a pair of slim fitting pants. The pants were bright gold in color and shimmered in the sunlight. The snug golden garment seemed to have been cut for a shorter person as the cuffs came only to the necromancer’s calf thought he rest fit him very well. Short or not, they were a stunning site to behold.

But not in a good way, I expect.

Xzar let his robes settle back into place. “I’m sure I don’t know. But, I have decided that from now on all my dainty under things will be made of metal. All I can say is that these had better please our woodsy companion. Though knowing her, I am certain she would prefer they be made of birch bark and pine needles.”

Should be less chafing than metal pantaloons, anyway…

“Oh Monty, you worry too much. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Bently Mirrorshades was a gnome of few words. He peered over his glasses at Abegathia, the young and rather pretty laundry girl of the Friendly Arm Inn “You’re fired,” He said.

Well, horrible of course, but it doesn’t concern Xzar, so…

Khalid reached down into the laundry basket next to him and pulled out a pair of his underwear. Look d…dear, bleached, no starch and…” He put them to his face and inhaled deeply, a serene smile crossed his face, “j…just a hint of lavender.” He set the underwear back down but found Jaheira had gone back to bed. “Jaheira dear, are you all right? You look p…pained.”

Strange, I would have thought lavender is so very her.

“One of the guests accused me of steeling. Bentley wouldn’t even listen to me. I don’t know anything about any golden pantaloons. This is horrible, this job is my life. It is all I ever dared to dream of becoming. Why ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought only about doing other people’s laundry.”

It is nice to have ambition, yes.

Abegathia gave the elder woman a warm hug. “You’re too kind. And maybe, just maybe one day one of my many daughters will aspire to live a grander life and she too will dream of taking in people’s laundry. If so I would be so proud.”

As I said.

The leader of my new adventuring party is a young is a mage of great wisdom and renowned. His history is, naturally, shrouded in mystery but I have learned that he was hidden away at a very young age in the great library fortress of Candlekeep and only recently come out into the world to seek his destiny. Currently he is on a quest to avenge the murder of his father. Obviously, he is of noble birth, common people just do not have personal histories like that.

Yes, you can see Destiny written all over that one.

Read some player backgrounds sometime...i left out being born durring a storm and solar eclipse, both of which serve to marke the player as "special"

While he will not say more of his heritage or his upbringing I suspect a great and noble paladin has quietly retired behind the cloistered walls of Candlekeep. The young leader posses an ethical center like few I have ever encountered. Within a few moments of our meeting he applied a barrage of harsh and probing ethical questions to me like I have never encountered in all my years of training and service to the order. He sought to find my moral core and stroke it, to test its steel and my resolve. An elder Paladin, one of great strength and virtue, could only have taught such determination and the ability to see into the souls of others. I cannot wait to engage him in discussions about morality and the superiority of good, I can only imagine the insights I will gain. Truly, I can feel the hand of Lord Helm in arranging our chance meeting, I know the great watcher wishes for me to learn all I can from this wizard Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque.

Perhaps Xzar shouldn’t be too eager to engage such discussions, though. And maybe at some point, Ajantis will think to cast Detect Evil just in case, and get some strange reading.

oh i have soemthing prepared for that

The second bit of good fortune is that I have found that the washer woman of the Friendly Arm Inn is incredibly skilled. It has been some time since my whites have been so white and my colors so vivid and bright. I dare say this woman is on a par with Squire Anomen Delryn. I do miss Anomen doing my laundry, that man certainly knew his way around a pair of men’s underwear.

Years of long practice will see to that, indeed.

i think a bit af talent is required as well

Beneath Xzar’s emerald robes, he wore a pair of slim fitting pants. The pants were bright gold in color and shimmered in the sunlight. The snug golden garment seemed to have been cut for a shorter person as the cuffs came only to the necromancer’s calf thought he rest fit him very well. Short or not, they were a stunning site to behold.

But not in a good way, I expect.

oh very stunning

Xzar let his robes settle back into place. “I’m sure I don’t know. But, I have decided that from now on all my dainty under things will be made of metal. All I can say is that these had better please our woodsy companion. Though knowing her, I am certain she would prefer they be made of birch bark and pine needles.”

Should be less chafing than metal pantaloons, anyway…

just what sort of fabric soften are are YOU using?

“Oh Monty, you worry too much. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Bently Mirrorshades was a gnome of few words. He peered over his glasses at Abegathia, the young and rather pretty laundry girl of the Friendly Arm Inn “You’re fired,” He said.

Well, horrible of course, but it doesn’t concern Xzar, so…

so much for teh Friendly Arm Inn's laundry reputation

Khalid reached down into the laundry basket next to him and pulled out a pair of his underwear. Look d…dear, bleached, no starch and…” He put them to his face and inhaled deeply, a serene smile crossed his face, “j…just a hint of lavender.” He set the underwear back down but found Jaheira had gone back to bed. “Jaheira dear, are you all right? You look p…pained.”

Strange, I would have thought lavender is so very her.

i think she suspects Khalid has been corrupted

“One of the guests accused me of steeling. Bentley wouldn’t even listen to me. I don’t know anything about any golden pantaloons. This is horrible, this job is my life. It is all I ever dared to dream of becoming. Why ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought only about doing other people’s laundry.”

It is nice to have ambition, yes.

Abegathia gave the elder woman a warm hug. “You’re too kind. And maybe, just maybe one day one of my many daughters will aspire to live a grander life and she too will dream of taking in people’s laundry. If so I would be so proud.”

As I said.

reach for the stars

It is with great joy that I write to you this evening and report of not just one stroke of great fortune but two. The first bit of luck that I have had is that I have been welcomed into an adventuring party, they seek to engage in many noble causes, not the least of which is smiting any and all evil people they come across. I know you advised me against joining such groups, but I have found that simply standing around on a seldom used road accosting any travelers that happens by has produced very little in the way of note worthy adventures. Most days it felt as if all I was doing was annoying the farmers who resided in the area.

Ajantis!

Boring it may have been but the local farmers did greatly expand my vocabulary, I learned many new words and phrases these past few months, though I confess some have left me stymied as to their meaning. Could you please send one of the first year squires to the library for some research, see if he can find out exactly what a “tin-plated jackdaw” is and why my mother, noble and virtuous woman she is, would care to engage in a tryst with such a thing.

The leader of my new adventuring party is a young is a mage of great wisdom and renowned. His history is, naturally, shrouded in mystery but I have learned that he was hidden away at a very young age in the great library fortress of Candlekeep and only recently come out into the world to seek his destiny. Currently he is on a quest to avenge the murder of his father. Obviously, he is of noble birth, common people just do not have personal histories like that.

The question is, to what extent does divine blood count as nobility?

The second bit of good fortune is that I have found that the washer woman of the Friendly Arm Inn is incredibly skilled. It has been some time since my whites have been so white and my colors so vivid and bright. I dare say this woman is on a par with Squire Anomen Delryn. I do miss Anomen doing my laundry, that man certainly knew his way around a pair of men’s underwear.

Bently Mirrorshades was a gnome of few words. He peered over his glasses at Abegathia, the young and rather pretty laundry girl of the Friendly Arm Inn “You’re fired,” He said.

Aw!

Khalid reached down into the laundry basket next to him and pulled out a pair of his underwear. Look d…dear, bleached, no starch and…” He put them to his face and inhaled deeply, a serene smile crossed his face, “j…just a hint of lavender.” He set the underwear back down but found Jaheira had gone back to bed. “Jaheira dear, are you all right? You look p…pained.”

Xzar is getting to hiiim...

“One of the guests accused me of steeling. Bentley wouldn’t even listen to me. I don’t know anything about any golden pantaloons. This is horrible, this job is my life. It is all I ever dared to dream of becoming. Why ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought only about doing other people’s laundry.”

“Where will you go?”

Abegathia dabbed the handkerchief at her eyes. “My Auntie has invited me to come live with her in Waterdeep and become a prostitute.”

Brawnhilda smiled in a motherly way. “You are lucky to have family that cares so about you so.”

The girl squared her shoulders and said with resolve. “I expect I shall birth many a child into abject poverty and then die at an early age. It was a good enough life for my mother, it will be good enough for me.”

“I’m sure your children will be beautiful grubby things. And I know they will all have the best laundered clothes in the ghetto.”

I think I love this exchange almost as much as Ajantis's letter

It is with great joy that I write to you this evening and report of not just one stroke of great fortune but two. The first bit of luck that I have had is that I have been welcomed into an adventuring party, they seek to engage in many noble causes, not the least of which is smiting any and all evil people they come across. I know you advised me against joining such groups, but I have found that simply standing around on a seldom used road accosting any travelers that happens by has produced very little in the way of note worthy adventures. Most days it felt as if all I was doing was annoying the farmers who resided in the area.

Ajantis!

Well what exactly is he doing just standing there?

The leader of my new adventuring party is a young is a mage of great wisdom and renowned. His history is, naturally, shrouded in mystery but I have learned that he was hidden away at a very young age in the great library fortress of Candlekeep and only recently come out into the world to seek his destiny. Currently he is on a quest to avenge the murder of his father. Obviously, he is of noble birth, common people just do not have personal histories like that.

The question is, to what extent does divine blood count as nobility?

it does give you a kick ass personal history

The second bit of good fortune is that I have found that the washer woman of the Friendly Arm Inn is incredibly skilled. It has been some time since my whites have been so white and my colors so vivid and bright. I dare say this woman is on a par with Squire Anomen Delryn. I do miss Anomen doing my laundry, that man certainly knew his way around a pair of men’s underwear.

Yes but did you find this amusing?

Khalid reached down into the laundry basket next to him and pulled out a pair of his underwear. Look d…dear, bleached, no starch and…” He put them to his face and inhaled deeply, a serene smile crossed his face, “j…just a hint of lavender.” He set the underwear back down but found Jaheira had gone back to bed. “Jaheira dear, are you all right? You look p…pained.”

Xzar is getting to hiiim...

oh like it was difficult

“One of the guests accused me of steeling. Bentley wouldn’t even listen to me. I don’t know anything about any golden pantaloons. This is horrible, this job is my life. It is all I ever dared to dream of becoming. Why ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought only about doing other people’s laundry.”

“Where will you go?”

Abegathia dabbed the handkerchief at her eyes. “My Auntie has invited me to come live with her in Waterdeep and become a prostitute.”

Brawnhilda smiled in a motherly way. “You are lucky to have family that cares so about you so.”

The girl squared her shoulders and said with resolve. “I expect I shall birth many a child into abject poverty and then die at an early age. It was a good enough life for my mother, it will be good enough for me.”

“I’m sure your children will be beautiful grubby things. And I know they will all have the best laundered clothes in the ghetto.”

I think I love this exchange almost as much as Ajantis's letter

Thanks. it was fun to write

Another great chapter. The conversation at the end was pure gold!

Another great chapter. The conversation at the end was pure gold!

thank you Futurist