Destiny’s Foster Child : 1

The Fallen is on indefinite hiatus, it was difficult for me to admit that part of the reason I was not writing that story with either the speed or the attention to detail I would prefer for the last few months was because I have become just very bored with it. It was literally a chore to force myself to sit in front of the computer to write another chapter of it. I have always felt writing should be something one enjoys not something one dreads doing. Realizing that The Fallen was no longer a source of enjoyment for me I feel it is better to set that story on one of the back burners until the creative part of me wants it back. I’m sure Hadrian and his friends will be cropping up in short story from time to time… I pulled out a story I started a year ago, a murder mystery, and begin working on it a fresh and in the middle of it….another story began to emerge, this story to be precise.

The origin of the story is easy enough to point to. Some months ago the challenge of the fortnightly quiz was writing about the ignoble death of the Charname. In and amongst the stories and discussions was the fact that 90% of all Charname’s die in the first few minutes of the game, either killed by that damned wolf outside of Candlekeep or at the hands of the assassin of the Friendly Arm Inn. It took some time but I realized that being killed so early in the game was a bad thing to do to a Charname…there were much, much worse fates…

and now…to borrow a phrase…something completely different.

 


Destiny’s Foster Child

Mistaken Indemnity

OR

The Gods Must be Napping




Xzar looked down at the limp and lifeless form of the young wizard from Candlekeep. A part of him was amused at the cruel irony of a murder happening on the very steps of an establishment called “the Friendly Arm Inn.” Another part of him felt just a twinge of guilt, perhaps if he had intervened in some way when that assassin attacked, the poor boy would still be alive. On the brighter side, the young wizard certainly looked happier dead than he ever had while he was alive. Dower and just overflowing with angst that one was, it seemed that he always droning on and on about his murdered foster father and some mysterious armored figure. What was the boy’s name again? Xzar couldn’t remember. Well no matter, it is not as if they would be exchanging midwinter eve cards.

As Xzar mused about the contents of his address book, the body of the young wizard began to glow a rich amber color, as if lit from within. Moments later his body transformed into untold numbers of tiny amber sparks that rose up from the boy’s clothing, than danced for a moment in the nighttime breeze before rushing off into the dark. Always appreciative of a good show, Xzar clapped his hands. “Oh look Monty. It’s just like what happened to our old school house.”

With a grunt, Montaron shoved his sword into the corps of the wizard assassin that had ambushed them just moments before. The most recent stab served to create the final part of rather pleasing spiral pattern of wounds circling out from the sword thrust that killed him. Montaron was dressed in his usual leathers and blues, he was almost never without them, the dark colors tended to suit Montaron’s mood. As a halfling, he barely came up to Xzar’s waist, most people thought halflings were cute and adorable people, and while Montaron was attractive enough in his own way, with his ever messy thatch of chestnut brown hair and cherubic features, no one thought of him as adorable, at least not for very long.

Xzar paused to admire Montaron’s artistic endeavor. “It’s lovely…Always the perfectionist aren’t you? Still you missed a wonderful light show. Say …I wonder if the girl with the unfortunate hair color will also go up in sparks like her friend.” Xzar looked around but saw no one else. “Monty what did you do with that charming pink haired girl?”

The halfling grunted and jerked a thumb to his left. “Tossed her over the side of the stair. Three bodies to explain are two bodies to many.”

“Just one body now.” Xzar said holding up the young mage’s empty green robes. He shook them and gave them a smart snap to dislodge the last of the glowing dust. The robes were finely made, well cared for, his favorite color and just his size. He gave them an appraising sniff. Well a bit of laundering will take care of that lingering freshly disintegrated smell. Xzar folded up the robes and pocketed the wand of magic missiles and the healing potion the boy was carrying. “If you are about done Monty I think we have other business to attend to.”

Montaron wiped his blade clean on the remnants of the dead assassin’s robes. “Business? What Business?”

“Well it seems that these wayward children… err…what’s left of these wayward children, were on their way here to meet some friends here. And good people would, at the very least, inform their friends of the untimely and rather gory deaths of …of…whatever their names were.”

“But we ain’t good people are we?”

Xzar put a hand to his mouth. “Oh yes, I quite forgot that.”

“By Silvanus’ bark encrusted buttocks! What is going on here?” The shout of a woman standing in the great doorway of the Friendly Arm inn. She hurriedly descended the stairs followed closely by a man in armor. In the moonlight it became clear that these individuals were half-elves and neither looked terribly happy. The woman particularly looked as if she has spent the last ten years sucking on sour fruit. The man was fully outfitted in armor including a large shield that he clutched to himself. Xzar thought it was odd to be dressed for battle while inside an inn, much less an inn named the ‘Friendly Arm’ but given the fashion standard for wizards he felt he could hardly comment on how others chose to dress.

Vaguely Xzar wondered just what was going on here, he realized he had no idea. But then an answer came to him as it often did in a voice from no where. “Assassins! Assassins at the inn!” It shouted. Xzar was quite concerned about these assassins and hoped the voice would offer more information, such as where they were and who they planned on killing and if they needed any help, but then he realized that this was not the voice he usually heard. For one thing, this voice was a baritone and his usual voice spoke in a lovely tenor, for another his voce almost never panted or wheezed, though it did often sounds as it were speaking with its mouth full.

“Assassins?” asked the half elven woman. Xzar thought perhaps the voice was one attached to the woman and he was only hearing it through some strange mystical connection he was unaware he shared with the woman.

“That be this feller here,” Montaron said kicking at the body of the wizard assassin. “Tried to do us in he did.”

Xzar was shocked. “Who would have thought such a nice family friendly place like this would have assassins. I must write a letter of complain to the management.”

A massively overweight guard staggered to a stop at the foot of the great stair. He leaned against the building for a moment gasping like a fish on dry land. He was a rather unhealthy shade of red and sweating profusely. He gasped a few more times and clutched a porky hand to his chest before mounting the stairs one my one towards the group. “I saw” he gulped out before waddling up a few more steps and coming to a rest a couple steps lower than Xzar, he panted for a few minutes more bending low to rest his hands on his knees. “I saw …that one,” he pointed at the dead and artistically stabbed wizard draped across the entry way steps, “come down the stairs and stat firing off spells” he wheezed a few more times and started fanning himself with his hand. “Got…got here as fast as I could.”

“Of course you did, and how brave of you to stroll all that way unaided.” Xzar patted him on the shoulder. “On the plus side you arrived just in time to give that bit of exposition.”

The male half elf was rummaging through the belongings of the wizard assassin. He probably got bored waiting for the portly guard to deliver his lines. Xzar felt he should protest and claim such actions were an invasion of privacy but mostly he was upset that he didn’t think of rifling through the dead man’s pockets first.

“It’s w…worse than we th…thought dear,” the half elf said. He held up a fragment of a scroll. “The enemy knows of their f…flight from Candlekeep , and there is a b…bounty on the boy’s head.”

“What be that attached to the bounty notice?” Montaron asked pointing to a small square of stiff white paper. The half-elf read the tiny square and shrugging handed over to Montaron. He read it aloud, “Crazy Akbar’s House of Discount Assassins: Bringing death with a smile to the sword coast for over 60 years. Offices in Calimshan, Tethyr, Athkatla, Waterdeep and Baldur’s Gate. Ask about our discount family plan.”

The woman looked appraisingly at Xzar and she did not look at all pleased. “We are here to meet Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque. Child of Candlekeep, foster child of the wise and noble sage Gorion Weaverblast, hero of Elversully, protector of the lost tome of Vinchay and keeper of the keys of the tomb of Icabod the very wicked. Are you he?”

“My that is quite a mouthful. Far too wordy for everyday use don’t you think?” Xzar now realized just why he had forgotten the boys name, he was also greatly relieved that they would not be exchanging midwinter’s eve cards. “Can you imagine putting all that on an envelope?” He asked aloud. “I mean where would one find space for a stamp? Postal convenience is just one of the reasons I just go by Xzar. It’s so much simpler don’t you agree?”

“Xzar?” The woman asked.

“Yes I find that it has quite a lovely ring to it. And you are…?”

The lingering and portly guard grabbed at his chest, his face going quite pale.

“I am Jaheira.” The silence hung there for a moment.

“Just Jaheira?” Xzar asked

“Yes.”

“No, second name? Something cute and era appropriate maybe? Perhaps something tying you with a nature theme or woodsy motif?”

“I…I have never needed one before,” Jaheira said looked strangely puzzled by the question.

The guard staggered falling to his knees gasping for breath.

“No windy, overblown titles?”

“Um…no.”

“You announce you are looking for one ‘Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque. Child of Candlekeep, foster child of the wise and noble sage Gorion Weaverblast, hero of Elversully, protector of the lost tome of Vinchay and keeper of the keys of the tomb of Icabod the most wicked.”

“The VERY wicked,” Jaheira corrected.

With a loud crash the guard fell over onto the steps still clutching his chest, he looked as if he was in severe pain.

‘Yes exactly, and yet you introduce yourself as just…Jaheira”

“You say that as if there is something wrong.”

“Oh no…nothing wrong with that at all…Jaheira.”

“And this is my beloved husband Khalid.”

“I suppose it is just … Khalid.”

“Of course it is, what else would it be?”

The hefty guard had begun to crawl towards the party of adventurers hoping to garner some small amount of attention.

“I’m not surprised mind you.” A large grin crossed Xzar’s face. “Allow me to introduce you to my oldest and dearest friend. My childhood companion. My bosom buddy. My heterosexual soul mate. My best friend for life, BFFL. My amigo. The only person who understands me…and cares for me,” Xzar paused and held out a hand to Montaron. “Um...” Xzar looked puzzled. “Um...” He snapped his fingers a few times at Montaron.

The halfling sighed and waited a few moment letting the scowl settle on his face. “…Montaron!” He finally barked.

“Oh yes…Monty.” Xzar elbowed Jaheira in the ribs. “Isn’t he just the cutest thing?”

Jaheira looks as if she would rather go back to talking about her name than answer that question.

“And Monty is single.” Xzar said in a singsong voice. “Of course you will have to give up wearing heals.” He looked Jaheira up and down. “And stop grinning so gaily all the time. Just between you and me wearing that giddy smile all the time makes you look a bit flighty my dear.”

The fat guard let out a keening groan.

“G…Gorion d...did mention a s…second ch...ch…child at Candlekeep in one of his l…letters. He said nothing about him th…thou.”

“But where is Gorion?” Jaheira asked, desperate to change the topic away from the charms of Montaron. “We are old friends of your father. He is not with you. I must assume the worst. He would not permit his only child to wander without his accompaniment.”

“Oh that is where Monty comes in. Monty is ever so good about keeping me out of trouble. But he can get tiresome at times, It’s always, ‘No Xzar, we can’t get rip snorting drunk before breakfast,’ or ‘don’t go in there Xzar, that’s not the gents’ or ‘take that out of your mouth, its not dead yet.’ I complain, but I know he only has my best interests at heart and he only gets bossy because he loves me…don’t you Monty?”

Montaron rolled his eyes and grunted

“If..if Gorion has passed on, w…we share your loss.”

With a single loud gasp the pudgy guard rolled onto his back, his breathing stopped.

“Gorion often said that he worried for your safety even at the expense of his own. He also wished that Khalid and I would become your guardians. If he should eve meet an untimely end.”

Xzar clapped his hands together his face splitting into a huge smile. “You mean we’re gonna be just one big happy family? Did you hear that Monty? We’re part of a family. Oh dear…I’m all verklempt.”

“Exactly how did your father...err…pass on? He must have been killed trying to bring you here,” Jaheira asked.

“Dead? Papa is dead?”

“He was murdered you twit,” Montaron said with a sigh.

“Oh yes… it was tragic…very tragic. Nevertheless, he did bring it on himself, you know how papa loved his drink.”

“No…but I am beginning to see how he could start…” Jaheira said quietly.

“Yes, his dearth was very, very tragic” Xzar’s face brightened “So how is the food here? Dealing with blood thirsty assassins always gives Monty a case of the munchies.” Xzar turned and marched into the Friendly Arm Inn.

“Murdered? Another assassin like this rough I’d wager.” Jaheira prodded the corpse of the wizard assassin.

“M…montaron, I can only assume that the tr..tr…tragedy of the last few days have unhinged his mind.”

“Unhinged?…Well if you want to call it that I wont stop you. Mind, that one was always wound a little to tight, if ya know what I mean.”

“Yes, Gorion often wr…wrote he was overly serious.”

“No matter we have been charged with seeing to his safety and welfare and we have the entire Harper organization to call upon for that if need be.” Jaheira announced.

“Harpers?”

“Yes, long have the harpers seen to the safely of Zarvoneanthion, they have spared no expense keeping his well away from the influences of the outside world. And I am sure no expense will be spared correcting what I hope to be a temporary mental imbalance.”

“No expense you say?” Montaron rubbed his chin. “And you would be wanting to continue keeping him well fed and safe and warm now wouldn’t ya?”

“O..of course. We have a generous st…stipend form the Harpers to do just that.”

Montaron could almost hear the musical sound of his purse filled with gold coins. He enjoyed imagining that sound so much he almost smiled. Almost.

Hilarious! Utterly hilarious!

The worts case of mistaken identity the realms have ever seen?

Hilarious! Utterly hilarious!

The worts case of mistaken identity the realms have ever seen?

thank you...am very glad you liked

The Fallen is on indefinite hiatus, it was difficult for me to admit that part of the reason I was not writing that story with either the speed or the attention to detail I would prefer for the last few months was because I have become just very bored with it. It was literally a chore to force myself to sit in front of the computer to write another chapter of it. I have always felt writing should be something one enjoys not something one dreads doing. Realizing that The Fallen was no longer a source of enjoyment for me I feel it is better to set that story on one of the back burners until the creative part of me wants it back. I’m sure Hadrian and his friends will be cropping up in short story from time to time… I pulled out a story I started a year ago, a murder mystery, and begin working on it a fresh and in the middle of it….another story began to emerge, this story to be precise.

I do hope to see more of the Fallen later, but I agree – you have to write what you want to be writing, not what you feel obliged to write.

The origin of the story is easy enough to point to. Some months ago the challenge of the fortnightly quiz was writing about the ignoble death of the Charname. In and amongst the stories and discussions was the fact that 90% of all Charname’s die in the first few minutes of the game, either killed by that damned wolf outside of Candlekeep or at the hands of the assassin of the Friendly Arm Inn. It took some time but I realized that being killed so early in the game was a bad thing to do to a Charname…there were much, much worse fates…

*swears profusely at the wolf*

Xzar looked down at the limp and lifeless form of the young wizard from Candlekeep. A part of him was amused at the cruel irony of a murder happening on the very steps of an establishment called “the Friendly Arm Inn.”

Lovely beginning, draws you right into the action.

Xzar paused to admire Montaron’s artistic endeavor. “It’s lovely…Always the perfectionist aren’t you? Still you missed a wonderful light show. Say …I wonder if the girl with the unfortunate hair color will also go up in sparks like her friend.” Xzar looked around but saw no one else. “Monty what did you do with that charming pink haired girl?”

The halfling grunted and jerked a thumb to his left. “Tossed her over the side of the stair. Three bodies to explain are two bodies to many.”

Aww, poor poor Imoen. Oh well. Xzar and Monty get their limelight for once.

The male half elf was rummaging through the belongings of the wizard assassin. He probably got bored waiting for the portly guard to deliver his lines. Xzar felt he should protest and claim such actions were an invasion of privacy but mostly he was upset that he didn’t think of rifling through the dead man’s pockets first.

I’m even more shocked that Monty didn’t think of that.

The woman looked appraisingly at Xzar and she did not look at all pleased. “We are here to meet Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque. Child of Candlekeep, foster child of the wise and noble sage Gorion Weaverblast, hero of Elversully, protector of the lost tome of Vinchay and keeper of the keys of the tomb of Icabod the very wicked. Are you he?”

She must be so smashed on cider to even consider that possibility.

“No, second name? Something cute and era appropriate maybe? Perhaps something tying you with a nature theme or woodsy motif?”

“I…I have never needed one before,” Jaheira said looked strangely puzzled by the question.

Maybe you should consider getting one then. Jaheira Lillybloom has a nice ring to it.

With a loud crash the guard fell over onto the steps still clutching his chest, he looked as if he was in severe pain.

Poor comedic relief.

The halfling sighed and waited a few moment letting the scowl settle on his face. “…Montaron!” He finally barked.

Shouldn’t that be Imoen then?

“And Monty is single.” Xzar said in a singsong voice. “Of course you will have to give up wearing heals.” He looked Jaheira up and down. “And stop grinning so gaily all the time. Just between you and me wearing that giddy smile all the time makes you look a bit flighty my dear.”

I think it’s still the cider.

“Gorion often said that he worried for your safety even at the expense of his own. He also wished that Khalid and I would become your guardians. If he should eve meet an untimely end.”

Surely once the drunkenness wears off they will come to their senses and realize that Xzar and Monty couldn’t possibly be the Bhaalspawn and his Best Friend. Or… will they?

“Oh yes… it was tragic…very tragic. Nevertheless, he did bring it on himself, you know how papa loved his drink.”

Perhaps now would be a good time to stop talking?

“No expense you say?” Montaron rubbed his chin. “And you would be wanting to continue keeping him well fed and safe and warm now wouldn’t ya?”

“O..of course. We have a generous st…stipend form the Harpers to do just that.”

Montaron could almost hear the musical sound of his purse filled with gold coins. He enjoyed imagining that sound so much he almost smiled. Almost.

Now, of course, this only works if Xzar can keep a secret… and knowing Xzar… Still, awesomely funny stuff.

The Fallen is on indefinite hiatus, it was difficult for me to admit that part of the reason I was not writing that story with either the speed or the attention to detail I would prefer for the last few months was because I have become just very bored with it. It was literally a chore to force myself to sit in front of the computer to write another chapter of it. I have always felt writing should be something one enjoys not something one dreads doing. Realizing that The Fallen was no longer a source of enjoyment for me I feel it is better to set that story on one of the back burners until the creative part of me wants it back. I’m sure Hadrian and his friends will be cropping up in short story from time to time… I pulled out a story I started a year ago, a murder mystery, and begin working on it a fresh and in the middle of it….another story began to emerge, this story to be precise.

I do hope to see more of the Fallen later, but I agree – you have to write what you want to be writing, not what you feel obliged to write.

I’m sure it will be back someday. But for now the tow other stories being written have my full attention.

The origin of the story is easy enough to point to. Some months ago the challenge of the fortnightly quiz was writing about the ignoble death of the Charname. In and amongst the stories and discussions was the fact that 90% of all Charname’s die in the first few minutes of the game, either killed by that damned wolf outside of Candlekeep or at the hands of the assassin of the Friendly Arm Inn. It took some time but I realized that being killed so early in the game was a bad thing to do to a Charname…there were much, much worse fates…

*swears profusely at the wolf*

You have the wolf. I manage to avoid that one usually. Its the assassin at the inn that gets me more often than not.

Xzar looked down at the limp and lifeless form of the young wizard from Candlekeep. A part of him was amused at the cruel irony of a murder happening on the very steps of an establishment called “the Friendly Arm Inn.”

Lovely beginning, draws you right into the action.

Well this is where it all begins…sort of

Xzar paused to admire Montaron’s artistic endeavor. “It’s lovely…Always the perfectionist aren’t you? Still you missed a wonderful light show. Say …I wonder if the girl with the unfortunate hair color will also go up in sparks like her friend.” Xzar looked around but saw no one else. “Monty what did you do with that charming pink haired girl?”

The halfling grunted and jerked a thumb to his left. “Tossed her over the side of the stair. Three bodies to explain are two bodies to many.”

Aww, poor poor Imoen. Oh well. Xzar and Monty get their limelight for once.

And I think it is attention long over due, these two get passed over and left as footnotes far too often.

The male half elf was rummaging through the belongings of the wizard assassin. He probably got bored waiting for the portly guard to deliver his lines. Xzar felt he should protest and claim such actions were an invasion of privacy but mostly he was upset that he didn’t think of rifling through the dead man’s pockets first.

I’m even more shocked that Monty didn’t think of that.

He probably just assumed he had more time to do it and Khalid just beat him to it

The woman looked appraisingly at Xzar and she did not look at all pleased. “We are here to meet Zarvoneanthion Estarantai de’Romanesque. Child of Candlekeep, foster child of the wise and noble sage Gorion Weaverblast, hero of Elversully, protector of the lost tome of Vinchay and keeper of the keys of the tomb of Icabod the very wicked. Are you he?”

She must be so smashed on cider to even consider that possibility.

Jaheira: I can assure you I have never been under the influence of cider o any other such drink.

“No, second name? Something cute and era appropriate maybe? Perhaps something tying you with a nature theme or woodsy motif?”

“I…I have never needed one before,” Jaheira said looked strangely puzzled by the question.

Maybe you should consider getting one then. Jaheira Lillybloom has a nice ring to it.

Going for the nature theme I see

With a loud crash the guard fell over onto the steps still clutching his chest, he looked as if he was in severe pain.

Poor comedic relief.

He wont be the last to suffer for comedy

The halfling sighed and waited a few moment letting the scowl settle on his face. “…Montaron!” He finally barked.

Shouldn’t that be Imoen then?

Imoen has pink hair and is not nearly as cute as Montaron

“And Monty is single.” Xzar said in a singsong voice. “Of course you will have to give up wearing heals.” He looked Jaheira up and down. “And stop grinning so gaily all the time. Just between you and me wearing that giddy smile all the time makes you look a bit flighty my dear.”

I think it’s still the cider.

Or its the proximity to Montaron

“Gorion often said that he worried for your safety even at the expense of his own. He also wished that Khalid and I would become your guardians. If he should eve meet an untimely end.”

Surely once the drunkenness wears off they will come to their senses and realize that Xzar and Monty couldn’t possibly be the Bhaalspawn and his Best Friend. Or… will they?

And why would they think that Xzar could not possibly be the Bhaalspawn hey have been waiting for?

“Oh yes… it was tragic…very tragic. Nevertheless, he did bring it on himself, you know how papa loved his drink.”

Perhaps now would be a good time to stop talking?

Oh there will be more on papa and his fondness for drink next chapter

“No expense you say?” Montaron rubbed his chin. “And you would be wanting to continue keeping him well fed and safe and warm now wouldn’t ya?”

“O..of course. We have a generous st…stipend form the Harpers to do just that.”

Montaron could almost hear the musical sound of his purse filled with gold coins. He enjoyed imagining that sound so much he almost smiled. Almost.

Now, of course, this only works if Xzar can keep a secret… and knowing Xzar… Still, awesomely funny stuff.

Well don’t worry there is someone coming along to help with that secret keeping

Well... How to say this? I'm very unhappy that you decided to discontinue The Fallen. Even if I did not comment very intelligently on it, I happened to like it. I like crackfics, it's just that I like serious stories so much more!

I may be reading this - winter is coming here, and with it, short days and depression, and a laugh will always be a good thing - but I'll certainly miss Hadrian.

Well... How to say this? I'm very unhappy that you decided to discontinue The Fallen. Even if I did not comment very intelligently on it, I happened to like it. I like crackfics, it's just that I like serious stories so much more!

I may be reading this - winter is coming here, and with it, short days and depression, and a laugh will always be a good thing - but I'll certainly miss Hadrian.

I am sure the Fallen will return. The creative juices for that particular story just need to recharge a bit

So... very... VERY... wrong!

Then again, judging by the name and titles, I get the feeling the real Bhaalspawn might be even more aggravating than the fake one

Seiously funny stuff

Rather enjoyed it I did

so...did you like it?

So... very... VERY... wrong!

But it feels oh so right

Then again, judging by the name and titles, I get the feeling the real Bhaalspawn might be even more aggravating than the fake one

arn't they all?

Seiously funny stuff

Rather enjoyed it I did

thanks
am very glad you enjoyed