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Bhaal's Youngest: Chapter 63


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#1 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 29 August 2007 - 11:50 PM

Sorry, this one is long! I also read about the magically coral grown buildings, so I couldn't resist.

Lanthanos strolled through the night, watching couples and a few families stroll and shop downtown, all walking over the smooth, gray tiles, with multicolored fish engraved in the center of them, rendered quite visible through softly lit white street light globes hovering only thirty feet overhead. He walked up twenty pink marble stairs and showed his court sealed papers to the elaborately carved cedar door to the conjuration's hall. When it opened, he stepped inside.

Bright illusionary sunlight streamed through illusionary windows in the spacious entrance hall. The pink coral that had been magically grown into the walls of this building were left with a softened rough texture, though no tendrils were allowed to grow out. In perfectly straight lines around the illusionary windows, the pink coral had been polished to a smooth almost liquid shine to outline them decoratively. In the center of each two hundred foot high wall, a large conjuration symbol was inlaid in white mother of pearl, shining in the false light, and rimmed in gold.

Down the center of the hall ran pairs of ornamental columns in dolphin carved coral with gold and mother of pearl accents. The majority of the floor was made of white marble, but down the center of the columns, the marble was as pink as the stairs had been. Two strips of mother of pearl separated one set of marble from the other.

On the left side of the columns, different sitting areas were denoted by thin white paper screens. Crimson and teal satin couches with mahogany bases clustered around mahogany tables in one sitting area. Purple and navy blue silk couches overflowing with pillows clustered around a teak table in another. Smooth, cool blue leather couches gathered around an oak table in a third. The fourth sitting area sported soft white linen couches, fairly simple in design, but with black Zalantar wood framing, carved into curling shapes like ocean waves to decorate the bases of the couches and the legs of an otherwise cedar table.

On the right side of the columns there was open floor, where hundreds of mages could stand together in a circle if they chose to.

Resar stood in this space, by two female conjurations students; one with very curly nearly glowing purple hair and matching purple lips and the other with straight blond hair held up by an invisible headdress to make her hair look like it was hovering in a pagoda shaped structure. They wore the regulation forest green conjurations robes with a few common 'improvements' to personalize them. The seventeen year old girl with purple lips had a robe that barely covered her knees, spreading at her waist like a dark purple skirt. The top of her robe was largely the same, but had some long oval holes transmuted in a radial pattern around her neck. The other girl, with the blond transmuted hair in its invisible headdress had kept her robe as floor length as most of the robes, but had changed it from being loose and flowing to being clinging with a slit up the side of it. Down the slit in her robe were sewn extra buttons with contingency runes for...white rabbits gargling, sawdust raining from the sky and the third one looked like it had to do with snow breathing wild dogs juggling anteaters. In other words, magic contingencies just to have magic contingencies. Or possibly, since the buttons were arranged along the slit down her robe, to draw the curious eye into that particular territory. They looked sheepishly at Lanthanos as he approached and then excused themselves.

Resar stood majestically. His long, rune inscribed staff lay in his pudgy ring encrusted hand. At the top of his staff an aquamarine globe large enough to scry with was held in place by a golden dragon- a dragon whose horn placement, stance and wings indicated that if he had been a dragon, rather than just a fixture at the top of a staff, his scales would have been silver and his breath would have been a long cone of frost. Resar's robe, scarlet, cobalt blue and vermilion, and studded with golden runes, flowed to the floor, where it hovered about two inches off the ground in a circle that looked like a permanent cushion of air. Resar had a long black beard, braided into eight perfectly smooth, shiny braids and tipped in gold charms that looked like tentacles with suckers on them curled around platinum filigree clams opened enough to see big glistening pearls in the center of them.

"Lanthanos, couldn't you even try to look like a wizard for our friends in Baldur's Gate? Still no beard? Still short hair? Do you really think of that as a robe? Do I have to introduce you as an apprentice or something?" He smirked. "I mean, what will they think of us?" Resar asked, staring at Lanthanos' simple light green cotton robe, worn leather belt and the saggy leather pack slung over his shoulder.

"We're teleporting into a thieves guild. Our 'friends' might think we're capable of subterfuge. It might impress them." He said grimly, trying to keep himself from telling Resar that he looked like a stain glass window. Resar was wearing the latest fashions, and insulting him meant insulting everyone who dressed like him- including a number of Halruaan Elders. Lanthanos felt that he'd heard enough about offending Halruaan elders to last him a lifetime, so he kept his mouth shut.

"It's not very hard to impress them, magic is rare outside of Halruaa. Only Thay can get close to our skill, and they are too busy killing each other to truly flourish." Resar answered smugly. "We'll impress them with our manners and our gold." Resar said, smiling a knowing smile. "The problem with that is...well, you're lacking in both." He smirked.

"So I am." Said Lanthanos. Lanthanos was not a patient guy. Lanthanos did not like to spend ten minutes introducing himself or someone else. He didn't like to stop chasing a dangerous wizard to tell people who he'd studied under or for how long. These small details were irrelevant to the job he was given. He knew this gave him the reputation for being rude, but he'd rather be rude than too late. "Those poor thieves. They'll see nothing to steal from me and no time in which to steal it." He smiled. "I'll let you make whatever introductions you feel like. But don't expect me to stand around waiting for the 'proper time' to go do my job."

"Are you sure you don't want to meet and compare notes with their wing of assassins?" Resar asked, obviously enjoying the verbal duel.

"We'd have nothing to talk about. Can't share magical secrets with foreigners, remember?"

A five and a half foot tall, lean young man walked towards the two, stopped two feet away and bowed. His straight black hair was tightly gathered in an oval bun on the top of his head and then turned into a long thin pony tail trailing down to the middle of his back. The style was most likely Kara-turan in origin, but now wizards expected their Jordaini Viziers to be a bit more decorative since they were always seen in the presence of them. His robe was a simple brown cotton robe with House Jordain's symbol prominently displayed on his chest.

These days a lot of wizards had their Jordaini wearing satin and silk robes embroidered with the Jordaini symbol to let everyone know that not only were they elite enough to be assigned such an important servant, but their servants were better cared for than the servants of other houses! The fact that he was wearing this robe meant he'd just graduated from House Jordain or hadn't yet been assigned a wizard family to serve. Or, it was just possible that maybe one wizard family out there didn't care what the others thought of it. His guess was an unassigned graduate, because of he was, at most, sixteen years old.

This had to be Jordaini Vizier Tahl, and Lathanos couldn't help but think the boy probably caught flack about his name, given that he was not tall. While Tahl sounded nothing like tall in the Halruaan language, Chondathan was the language of many countries and no doubt all the Jordaini knew enough of that language to poke fun of him for it.

"Masters Resar and Lanthanos." The young man addressed them, and bowed again.

"Jordaini Vizier Tahl." Lanthanos nodded.

"Fresh from house Jordain?" Asked Resar, voice conveying that a more experienced assistant would have been a better move.

"Yes, Master Resar."

"Well, I do not know whether to hope your manners will inspire Lathanos to work on his own, or be worried you will pick up his habits and ruin your placement options."

"I would not presume to tell a mage hound what manners are, Master Resar." Jordaini Vizier Tahl bowed again. "But I am confident in my ability to retain my training, so please do not worry on my account."

#2 Guest_Ananke_*

Posted 31 August 2007 - 09:47 AM

Bright illusionary sunlight streamed through illusionary windows in the extravagantly large pink coral building.

So, it's grown from coral? Perhaps you might wish to include this somehow in the story itself? Because if you hadn't put the warning, I would have just thought it was pink coral as in colour. Not in material. :P

Different sitting areas sported couches in silk and satin, leather and linen. The floors were white polished marble.

Sigh. This actually makes me want for more description. It's a hall, so it's probably large, but how large? What does it mean that there are different sitting areas? Are they divided by plants, curtains, what? I'm trying to visualise the scenery, and fail. :D

I don't think that the scenery is necessary, mind you! But it's just that those 'different sitting areas' whetted my appetite, so to speak.

Resar had a long black beard, braided into eight perfectly smooth, shiny braids and tipped in gold charms that looked like tentacles with suckers on them curled around platinum filigree clams opened enough to see big glistening pearls in the center of them.


:P My first thought: are Halruaan toilets magical, too? Probably they are... For such clothes... But this one is a great description!

(Are the lasses wearing the lastest fashions, too, btw? :D )

"So I am." Said Lanthanos. "Those poor thieves. They'll see nothing to steal from me and no time in which to steal it." He smiled. "I'll let you make whatever introductions you feel like. But don't expect me to stand around waiting for the 'proper time' to go do my job."

Er. 'No time' and 'proper time' are a reference to some past quarrel/chapter, I take it? Because it's either that, or I'm slow, but there's nothing in Resar's speech about it?

"Are you sure you don't want to meet and compare notes with their wing of assassins?" Resar asked, obviously enjoying the verbal duel.

Well, I certainly am! (Apart from the part I don't get.)

"We'd have nothing to talk about. Can't share magical secrets with foreigners, remember?"

Touche! We have a winner!

"Well, I do not know whether to hope your manners will inspire Lathanos to work on his own, or be worried you will pick up his habits and ruin your placement options."

"I would not presume to tell a mage hound what manners are, Master Resar." Jordaini Vizier Tahl bowed again. "But I am confident in my ability to retain my training, so please do not worry on my account."

;) A new character enters the scene, and I already like him!

Two chapters one after another... Can I hope for another, soon? :)

#3 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 31 August 2007 - 03:14 PM

So, it's grown from coral? Perhaps you might wish to include this somehow in the story itself? Because if you hadn't put the warning, I would have just thought it was pink coral as in colour. Not in material.


Oh, good point. ;)

Sigh. This actually makes me want for more description. It's a hall, so it's probably large, but how large? What does it mean that there are different sitting areas? Are they divided by plants, curtains, what? I'm trying to visualise the scenery, and fail.


Oh, that's fair enough. I can always come up with more description. (I thought I was already boring you with details!)

I don't think that the scenery is necessary, mind you! But it's just that those 'different sitting areas' whetted my appetite, so to speak.


I do want you to be able to picture this. So, I'll work on it. :D

My first thought: are Halruaan toilets magical, too? Probably they are... For such clothes... But this one is a great description!


Oh yes! They are pots based on 'bags of devouring'! :) (The book doesn't tell me, but I can pretty well make it up!)

(Are the lasses wearing the lastest fashions, too, btw?)


Maybe I should mention what they are wearing. :P It's not like Lanthanos wouldn't.

Er. 'No time' and 'proper time' are a reference to some past quarrel/chapter, I take it? Because it's either that, or I'm slow, but there's nothing in Resar's speech about it?


Lanthanos is responding to the comment that he doesn't have gold or manners- gold being the nothing to steal and manners being no time to steal it in (since Halruaan manners are time consuming and overly formal and Resar has mentioned making introductions). In other words, Lanthanos is telling him that he may be rude but he's not lazy- he gets things done while other people are still introducing themselves.


Well, I certainly am! (Apart from the part I don't get.)


Oh good!

Touche! We have a winner!


I'm glad you enjoyed it.

A new character enters the scene, and I already like him!


This poor guy is going to be tested. :P

Two chapters one after another... Can I hope for another, soon?


I sure hope so. :D

#4 Guest_Tenfoot_*

Posted 01 September 2007 - 06:28 PM

softly lit white street light globes hovering only thirty feet overhead. He walked up twenty pink marble stairs and showed his court sealed papers to the elaborately carved cedar door to the conjuration's hall.


I love this opening. it gives a real sense of place with the patterns on the tiles and such. something that actually helped was the numbers - globes thirty feet above and such. It really helped me envision the environment.

The pink coral that had been magically grown into the walls of this building were left with a softened rough texture, though no tendrils were allowed to grow out. In perfectly straight lines around the illusionary windows, the pink coral had been polished to a smooth almost liquid shine to outline them decoratively. In the center of each two hundred foot high wall, a large conjuration symbol was inlaid in white mother of pearl, shining in the false light, and rimmed in gold.


I love the descriptions here. The opulence is even more impressive when you give the little details such as the symbols and the material used to make them.

On the right side of the columns there was open floor, where hundreds of mages could stand together in a circle if the chose to.


Hmm. Mysterious. Although, one minor nitpick - you mean 'they', right?

Down the slit in her robe were sewn extra buttons with contingency runes for...white rabbits gargling, sawdust raining from the sky and the third one looked like it had to do with snow breathing wild dogs juggling anteaters. In other words, magic contingencies just to have magic contingencies. Or possibly, since the buttons were arranged along the slit down her robe, to draw the curious eye into that particular territory.


I like this description. There's obviously been a lot of thought as to the specifics of the outfit, which is the kind of detail I always enjoy. And the contingencies for contingencies' sake makes me smile. :twisted:

His long, rune inscribed staff lay in his pudgy ring encrusted hand.


This really stood out for me. I think it's the repetition of "rune-inscribed" and "ring-encrusted" - they just seem to echo each other wonderfully, and 'ring encrusted' on it's own is brilliance.

This had to be Jordaini Vizier Tahl, and Lathanos couldn't help but think the boy probably caught flack about his name, given that he was not tall. While Tahl sounded nothing like tall in the Halruaan language, Chondathan was the language of many countries and no doubt all the Jordaini knew enough of that language to poke fun of him for it.


Again, this seems really well-planned. It's an intriguing look into the whole culture of the place, and the way Lathanos probes that is indicative again of how he thinks. It's packed with little details while showcasing the big one of his height, and it works really well. In fact, the whole thing does. I'm curious to see where this is going!

#5 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 01 September 2007 - 08:29 PM

I love this opening. it gives a real sense of place with the patterns on the tiles and such. something that actually helped was the numbers - globes thirty feet above and such. It really helped me envision the environment.


Oh good. :) Occasionally, I'll second guess myself and cut out details thinking that they aren't really relevant to the action but since they'll soon be in crowded badly lit streets, I thought I should show what their streets are like.

I love the descriptions here. The opulence is even more impressive when you give the little details such as the symbols and the material used to make them.


Ok, I'll try not to chainsaw my details as often- sometimes I just get too worried that if the chapter gets too long (ie, I include too many details), no one will read it. But, conversely, I want people to picture the place, and feel the difference.

Hmm. Mysterious. Although, one minor nitpick - you mean 'they', right?


Er, yes, I do mean they, I'll fix it! :) Thank you for catching it for me!

I like this description. There's obviously been a lot of thought as to the specifics of the outfit, which is the kind of detail I always enjoy. And the contingencies for contingencies' sake makes me smile.


The first time through, I thought I was making the point with the cantrip and transmuted hair and thought this was overkill, but I do see that maybe it makes more sense why they would be drawn to Resar and flee Lanthanos. (Though Ananke inspired me to write it back in.)

This really stood out for me. I think it's the repetition of "rune-inscribed" and "ring-encrusted" - they just seem to echo each other wonderfully, and 'ring encrusted' on it's own is brilliance.


Thanks. :)

Again, this seems really well-planned. It's an intriguing look into the whole culture of the place, and the way Lathanos probes that is indicative again of how he thinks. It's packed with little details while showcasing the big one of his height, and it works really well. In fact, the whole thing does. I'm curious to see where this is going!



I'm glad I have you interested! :D The first stop on the itinerary is Baldur's Gate thieves guild. :twisted: Though I suppose they have to get over 2,000 miles by teleportation first, and so you'll doubtlessly see how that is done when you aren't a 21st level mage. Of course, since Lanthanos only gets 1 chapter in 6 (until he runs into Phoenix of course), this will take a little time. :D

#6 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 01 September 2007 - 10:00 PM

Bright illusionary sunlight streamed through illusionary windows in the spacious entrance hall. The pink coral that had been magically grown into the walls of this building were left with a softened rough texture, though no tendrils were allowed to grow out. In perfectly straight lines around the illusionary windows, the pink coral had been polished to a smooth almost liquid shine to outline them decoratively. In the center of each two hundred foot high wall, a large conjuration symbol was inlaid in white mother of pearl, shining in the false light, and rimmed in gold.


You make it sound absolutely beautiful!

Down the slit in her robe were sewn extra buttons with contingency runes for...white rabbits gargling, sawdust raining from the sky and the third one looked like it had to do with snow breathing wild dogs juggling anteaters. In other words, magic contingencies just to have magic contingencies. Or possibly, since the buttons were arranged along the slit down her robe, to draw the curious eye into that particular territory. They looked sheepishly at Lanthanos as he approached and then excused themselves.


:twisted:

Teenagers! :)

"We're teleporting into a thieves guild. Our 'friends' might think we're capable of subterfuge. It might impress them." He said grimly, trying to keep himself from telling Resar that he looked like a stain glass window. Resar was wearing the latest fashions, and insulting him meant insulting everyone who dressed like him- including a number of Halruaan Elders. Lanthanos felt that he'd heard enough about offending Halruaan elders to last him a lifetime, so he kept his mouth shut.


And I suspect the penalty for offending an elder might well last a lifetime?

#7 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 02 September 2007 - 12:06 AM

You make it sound absolutely beautiful!


Thank you! :)

Teenagers!



*Grin*

And I suspect the penalty for offending an elder might well last a lifetime?


Yes. Depending on the elder, could be several lifetimes. :twisted:

Thanks for reading and commenting!

#8 Guest_Ananke_*

Posted 02 September 2007 - 11:29 AM

Mmm... I'm hard to please, apparently, because this time, the descriptions of the students did read like a bit of overkill to me after the descriptions of the place...

But all of it was very well done, so I think I love it anyway! :twisted:

#9 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 02 September 2007 - 11:58 AM

:twisted:

I think we'll just leave the extra in because Halruaa is so over the top, their descriptive paragraphs should be too! :)




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