Jump to content


Bhaal's Youngest: Chapter 55


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 28 February 2007 - 01:50 AM

It's short, but at least I managed to write it! Critiques/comments welcome.

Corpses were scattered over the wreckage, but none of the four people present seemed to care.

"What a lovely bouquet." Xzar said smoothly. "Tangy, slightly musty, with a fruity rancidity after taste." He smiled at Phoenix, who was trying to curb her impatience.

"I'm tired of looking fer the damn caravan. We'll never find it among all the other dead caravans. The brat has clearly picked them clean and moved on. Let's just forget about it and keep to whatever you want to do." Kagain snapped, kicking and further shattering half a wheel sticking up out of a wooden heap. The bandits had taken the iron nails holding this wagon together. Only the glued wooden pegs had survived.

"We'll doubtlessly run across him later." Phoenix said darkly. "But in the meantime, we should go." She turned to Montaron. "You weren't opposed to going towards High Hedge." She said, frowning slightly and waiting for his response.

Montaron snorted. "Ye be right, lass. Got bizness there."

"What kind of business?" Kagain asked, as they began walking in the direction of High Hedge.

"None o yers." Montaron said with a threatening sneer.

"..." Kagain said. "I need an ale."

"An ail?" Xzar said, distractedly. "I have an ail for what cures you." He smiled, and laughed, green eyes studying something over the horizon. From his pack, he pulled out something in a bottle with a red skull and crossbones on it and black liquid inside, sloshing. "Drink up, you'll make a lovely zombie."

"..." Kagain said. "Go pester someone else."

#2 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 28 February 2007 - 04:10 PM

Corpses were scattered over the wreckage, but none of the four people present seemed to care.

"What a lovely bouquet." Xzar said smoothly. "Tangy, slightly musty, with a fruity rancidity after taste." He smiled at Phoenix, who was trying to curb her impatience.


Xzar would think that, wouldn't he?

The bandits had taken the iron nails holding this wagon together. Only the glued wooden pegs had survived.


I love this little detail; it shows so clearly what the bandits were after.

"..." Kagain said. "I need an ale."

"An ail?" Xzar said, distractedly. "I have an ail for what cures you." He smiled, and laughed, green eyes studying something over the horizon. From his pack, he pulled out something in a bottle with a red skull and crossbones on it and black liquid inside, sloshing. "Drink up, you'll make a lovely zombie."


:D

#3 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 01 March 2007 - 12:50 AM

Xzar would think that, wouldn't he?


Yeah, when he's acting smooth, he so reminds me of one of those evil guys with the wine tasting and the great smile and the horrible not even close to secret. :D

I love this little detail; it shows so clearly what the bandits were after.


Thank you.

#4 Guest_Ananke_*

Posted 01 March 2007 - 09:17 AM

It's short, but at least I managed to write it!


It's short, but it's sweet! Like Cel, I loved the detail of the iron nails. And your Xzar is... ye gods. He's himself, that's all I have to say.

I also loved this part:

"We'll doubtlessly run across him later." Phoenix said darkly.

Phoenix seems to be getting the hang of the adventuring-and-quests business. :shock:

#5 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 01 March 2007 - 10:20 PM

It's short, but it's sweet! Like Cel, I loved the detail of the iron nails. And your Xzar is... ye gods. He's himself, that's all I have to say.


Well, I'm glad he's coming across as in character. :shock:

Phoenix seems to be getting the hang of the adventuring-and-quests business.


Yes, she's catching on. Thank you!

#6 Guest_Tyriel_*

Posted 01 March 2007 - 11:32 PM

Anou, I take it the other three aren't going on this mission. Khalid obviously can't, given his need to recover, and Jaheira would of course want to stay with her husband. What of Imoen, though? Was it that Jaheira wouldn't let her go? Somehow, I don't think Jaheira would have exactly approved of Phoenix going in the company that she did, but then again, when Phoenix sets her mind to a task, it's nigh impossible to sway her to another course.

Xzar is as delightfully morbid as ever. I wonder what business Montaron has in High Hedge. The dynamics of this particular group seem...interesting. I'm a bit worried that they'll kill each other before they can solve the problem. For that matter, it will be a wonder if Montaron doesn't up and decide to kill Jase to be rid of the brat.

#7 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 02 March 2007 - 05:15 AM

Anou, I take it the other three aren't going on this mission. Khalid obviously can't, given his need to recover, and Jaheira would of course want to stay with her husband. What of Imoen, though? Was it that Jaheira wouldn't let her go? Somehow, I don't think Jaheira would have exactly approved of Phoenix going in the company that she did, but then again, when Phoenix sets her mind to a task, it's nigh impossible to sway her to another course.


Phoenix left Khalid at the inn, and the three left before Jaheira and Imoen had come back. For one thing, it kept Montaron from killing Khalid, (witness) and it kept Jaheira and Imoen from trying to stop her. She didn't want to waste the time. Phoenix knows her company is dangerous.

Xzar is as delightfully morbid as ever. I wonder what business Montaron has in High Hedge. The dynamics of this particular group seem...interesting. I'm a bit worried that they'll kill each other before they can solve the problem. For that matter, it will be a wonder if Montaron doesn't up and decide to kill Jase to be rid of the brat.


Well, I thought it would be rather entertaining to have a group with lawful evil (Kagain), neutral evil (Montaron) and chaotic evil (Xzar). It's not a permanent group, but should be interesting. They won't all kill each other. It's probably a good thing that Jase is out of their reach at this point. :shock:

Thank you for replying!

#8 Guest_Scavenger_*

Posted 05 March 2007 - 02:47 PM

Nice chapter; but this group doesn't strike me as very functional. Poor Kagain, I doubt that even LE dwarf (as well as, frankly speaking, most people) can like a company of insane necromancer. ;) Monty is unfriendly and Phoenix is just a small human girl.
Xzar is well writen so far, I'd say. His insanity isn't exaggerated to the point of complete incapacity or comical relief. Dangerous, obsessed with death, obviously very, very troubled - to say the least - but, perhaps, capable of performing his task.
Monty's business at High Hedge...he is to off another mad necromancer, Basilius, who most likely somehow offended Zhentarims by leaving them, right?

#9 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 05 March 2007 - 09:31 PM

Nice chapter; but this group doesn't strike me as very functional. Poor Kagain, I doubt that even LE dwarf (as well as, frankly speaking, most people) can like a company of insane necromancer. Monty is unfriendly and Phoenix is just a small human girl.


Overall, Kagain isn't really a good fit, but he'll do for now. :D

Xzar is well writen so far, I'd say. His insanity isn't exaggerated to the point of complete incapacity or comical relief. Dangerous, obsessed with death, obviously very, very troubled - to say the least - but, perhaps, capable of performing his task.


If he wasn't capable, he would be dead. ;)

Monty's business at High Hedge...he is to off another mad necromancer, Basilius, who most likely somehow offended Zhentarims by leaving them, right?


Something like that. :D

#10 Weyoun

Posted 07 March 2007 - 11:02 PM

"I'm tired of looking fer the damn caravan. We'll never find it among all the other dead caravans. The brat has clearly picked them clean and moved on. Let's just forget about it and keep to whatever you want to do." Kagain snapped, kicking and further shattering half a wheel sticking up out of a wooden heap. The bandits had taken the iron nails holding this wagon together. Only the glued wooden pegs had survived.


Geez, talk about going all out on the banditry. :lol:

"..." Kagain said. "I need an ale."


The purely dwarven response! :lol:

"An ail?" Xzar said, distractedly. "I have an ail for what cures you." He smiled, and laughed, green eyes studying something over the horizon. From his pack, he pulled out something in a bottle with a red skull and crossbones on it and black liquid inside, sloshing. "Drink up, you'll make a lovely zombie."


"..." Kagain said. "Go pester someone else."


Preferably Kelsey. ;)
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#11 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 08 March 2007 - 02:09 AM

Geez, talk about going all out on the banditry.


Hey, they are greedy suckers, you know. :lol: *Says nothing about various D&D adventure groups that she has belonged to...and their stealing doors for their scrap value* Um, yeah, it's amazing what kind of work a person can do to not have to hold a real job!

The purely dwarven response!


Yup. And a quote from him in the game. I'm not just making racial generalizations! He actually says it! ;)

Preferably Kelsey.


:lol:




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com