Less Successful Blurbs

From a sale pile of Adventurer's Mart you can find the following paperbacks 5 books for one gold piece. They were not huge financial or artistic successes despite of marketing efforts. I wonder what went wrong.


One With Fashion by Sarevok Anchev

One of the most legendary warriors ever to walk the Realms has now kindly offered to share his insights about fashion, decoration and personal style with aspiring Evil Overlords, demigod-like warriors and demonic blackguards. You will be a guaranteed success in any endeavour!

"They never criticized me!"
- the author

"Dat armor has lotsa spikes."
- Tazok of the Rabid Raccoon

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The Blades of Passion by Korgan Bloodaxe

The heavy scent of bodily fluids... heaving bosoms... erotica and adventure... the steamiest sex scenes...

The widely acclaimed author, having received an elaborate training in dwarven erotic arts, is the newest recruit of the best-selling paperback romance publisher Amnian Rose.

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My Life With Simians by Edwin Odesseiron

The most fearsome wizard of known multiverse has deigned to share his insights of human interaction with the cultivated reader. IQ is not enough for success - the art of social interaction, understanding the mindset of another, and empathy are equally important. Made alive with humorous personal anecdotes this book is sure to become the recommended reading of any CEO worth his dime!

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In Gaia's Embrace by Cernd

The most yearned poem collection of the year! The pop figure of the Amnian druidic movement has now put his most memorable verse on print. The mysteries of mother nature skillfully described by one who truly is one with them.

-printed on recycled paper

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My Beautiful, White Wings, Volumes I-MCMLXXXIV by Aerie

A touching story of unimaginable suffering and yet courage, idealism and hope in the face of adversity. A heroine worth identifying with shares her most painful memories in detail. One of those books that can change your life forever.

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For the Needy by Nalia d'Arnise

Though she writes of need for political change, Nalia d'Arnise is no dry ivory tower scientist. She throws herself in this text with rare passion, inspiring masses to work for the betterment of society.