A Cappella Part 316 - Voyage

AC316-Voyage


I... I came here by day, but I left here in darkness
And found you, found you on the way
And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold
You in somber resplendence I hold

Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me
As you're longing to sing
So I... I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold
I will lift up your voice as I sink

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
Your sins into me, your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one

“Silver and Cold” AFI

 

Sarevok stood on the deck, patiently waiting for the sailors to finish the preparations. At last the coffin was set in place, and he heard the firm footsteps of Narula behind him.

“We are ready,” she said. “Do you want me to say a few words? I know the basic funeral rites of a number of gods….”

“Just go. All of you. I must do this alone.”

There was a long moment of silence, and he knew she was debating if she should argue with him, but finally she said, “Back to your posts, lads. Give our patron a bit of privacy.”

Sarevok went to the coffin and placed his hands on it. It was carved from the finest timbers, with the symbols of two pine trees, one silver, one gold, on the lid. He had had the casket specially prepared and weighted so that it would go straight to the bottom of the sea. “Nothing but the best for you,” he whispered. “If only I had felt that way when you were alive.”

He looked out over the blue sea, blinking hard as his vision blurred. Sarevok tried to tell himself that it was merely the salt spray, but he knew that it was not true. They had sailed for days, days that Sarevok had spent walking aimlessly around the ship. When he finally felt he had the strength to face this moment, he told Narula to prepare the casket for its ultimate fate.

“I hope… I hope this will bring you peace. The two of you would have lived a long life, with children, with your families around you, if I had not interfered. I had no right to take you away from the life you were meant to lead.”

The warrior bent forward and kissed the silver tree, the one he had come to think of as Tamoko’s symbol. “I did love you before the power maddened me. I loved you with all my heart.” Then he reached out and touched Yoshimo’s golden tree, and simply said, “Forgive me.”

Sarevok stood silently for several minutes, picturing Tamoko, remembering everything he could about her smile, her touch, her soft voice whispering to him. He steeled himself against his pain and cut the rope holding the coffin in place. The dark casket slid down the makeshift ramp and hit the water with a splash. He watched it sink into the waves, gone forever. “Safe journey, Kazusa Tamoko. Be at peace, Masumi Yoshimo.”

He turned from the rail and walked stone-faced back to his cabin, ignoring the curious stares of the sailors. Once inside, he pulled out the box containing Anomen’s ashes and held it tightly to his chest. It was a small comfort, but it kept him from collapsing from his grief.

After a time, there was a light tap at the door. He ignored the sound, which was repeated after a long moment. When he once again did not answer, the door gently opened. He glared at Narula and said through gritted teeth, “If I had wished you to enter, I would have said so.”

“Captain’s privilege. Listen, some of the lads wanted to know if you’d like to come out for a bit of grog. Drown your sorrows for a while.”

“I thank you, but no. This ship could not carry enough drink to ease my pain.”

“Now that you have buried your friends, what are your plans?”

“At this moment I have no true plans other than to grieve the two people I loved most in the world.”

“Aye, ‘tis sad to lose folks you care about. The two in the coffin?”

“Only one of them. She was my love, and I lost her through my own foolishness. The other in the casket was her betrothed, a man who died because I split them apart. She was a wonderful woman, and deserved far better than the man I was. They would have been happy together.”

“And your other love?”

“After I was brought back from the Abyss, I had a chance at a new life. Foolishly I continued down the same evil path that I had walked before,” he hesitated a moment while caressing the small box, “before he convinced me that I could be more, that I could turn from my dark ways. We loved each other and planned to spend our lives together. He died a hero’s death, but that cannot lessen the pain.”

Narula raised her eyebrows a bit. “He?”

“Yes.” He glared at her defiantly.

She grinned at him. “Do you always chase both kinds, or are you just not picky?”

He snorted. “To be truthful, before him I had never considered the possibility of loving another man. But what grew between us was too strong to be ignored. I… love him still.”

Narula sat down beside him and put her arm around his shoulders. “Maybe you will find love again someday.”

“I doubt that. The pain of loss is too much for me to endure again.”

“Love or not, they would not want you to be so unhappy. You need to lay down your grief now and then.”

Sarevok became uneasily aware of the arm around him, and of Narula’s thigh pressed up against his. Carefully disentangling himself from her, he said, “Perhaps so, but now is not the time.”

Narula gave a hearty laugh and said, “Sure of yourself, aren’t you? I don’t usually throw myself at men after funerals.”

“I am sorry, but you seemed… overly familiar.”

“That’s just my way. Sailors are used to living rough in close quarters. If I wanted you, I’d let you know in short order.”

Sarevok raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you would?”

“Well, I always have before. There’re some nice fellows who are always happy to see my ship dock in their harbor, and a captain or three who share a bunk with me now and then.”

“There is no one you love?”

“My lover is there,” Narula said, nodding at the porthole. “He’s a fickle one, he is. Calm and placid one moment and a raging bastard the next. But he’s the only one with a claim on my heart. I’ve never met a man who was as fascinating as the sea.”

“Then I am happy that you will have your own ship.”

“Speaking of which, when is the Tiger mine, free and clear?”

He gave her a thin smile. “I believe you promised me time, Captain. I am not ready to face the world yet. When I am prepared to dock, I will sign over the ship to you.”

“How long?”

“I am not sure, but I will not keep you waiting indefinitely. Just sail where the wind takes us for a bit longer.”

“Very well.”

 

“So, join me for dinner tonight.”

Sarevok turned away from the rail. “I would be honored, Captain. What is the occasion?”

“You need companionship. You are either holed up in your cabin or standing here at the rail ignoring the crew. You are going to dine with me and you are going to talk to me. Captain’s orders.”

He found himself chuckling in spite of himself. “As your patron, I could belay that order but I will not. Pleasant company might do me a bit of good.”

“Belay! You are learning, aren’t you?”

“I have ears, though I still become confused when you begin barking orders at your crew.”

“A little at a time, sailor.”

 

“I have to admit, being a Bhaalspawn was nothing like I imagined. So your brother was really a half-god, but you weren’t?”

“That is correct. My power was great, but it did not approach Jarran’s. When we were at the Throne of Blood, I could feel… it is difficult to describe. It was as if lightning had struck the ground before me. The very air crackled with an invisible force.”

“Did… did you really do all the terrible things they say you did?”

Sarevok’s face contorted for a moment. “And worse. Many of my crimes were never discovered.”

“It’s just that you don’t seem… bloodthirsty.”

“I was then. There was no deed too vile that I would not commit it in the name of power. I was mad with the hunger for godhood.”

“And what do you hunger for now, Sarevok?” Narula said softly.

“Some sense of peace. A way of living with my past, and finding a future.”

“Has being on my ship helped at all?”

“Yes. I believe my companions were correct. I needed to leave their company for a time. With them, I was always reminded that we numbered five rather than six. To see Jarran happy with Jaheira, and Imoen with Valygar… I could not escape remembering that Anomen was not with me. Here on the Tiger I can be alone with my thoughts.”

Narula looked at him for a long moment, then said, “But you still miss him. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I doubt I will ever cease to miss him. There are times he seems so near, but too far away to touch. But I am finding ways to endure his absence.”

She smiled and said, “Maybe you could just think of it as sailing on two different ships.”

“An apt description.”

 

“Damnation!”

Sarevok rubbed his head as the ship rocked. A lurch had tossed him out of his bunk and onto the floor of his cabin, giving him a very rude awakening. He heard the roaring of wind and shouts above him.

He made his way onto the deck. Rain lashed against him, soaking him to the skin in an instant. Sarevok bent low into the wind and fought his way to the ship’s wheel where Narula screamed orders.

When she say him stagger to her side, Narula leaned close to his ear and yelled, “What are you doing here, you fool? Get below where it’s safe!”

“I came to help.”

“You still can’t tell aft from starboard. What help will you be?”

A strong wave slammed into the ship, causing it to rock violently. Narula stumbled into Sarevok’s arms. He shouted, “At the moment I’m keeping the captain from being thrown overboard.” Ignoring her scowl, he said, “Why did we not sail away from this storm?”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do? It blew up out of nowhere and is chasing us like a hellhound. Now be quiet so I can think!”

She returned to shouting orders. Finally she shoved the helmsman out of the way. “I’ll take the wheel! You help with the sails.” She gave the wheel a wrench that pulled the ship through a wave trench.

Sarevok knew nothing of sailing, but it quickly became apparent that the ship was in capable hands. Still, despite Narula’s expert handling, the most violent part of the storm was overtaking them. He noticed that she was looking at him nervously. “What is it?”

“This one is too big to outrun. We’re going to have to head for the nearest port. It is sheltered so we should be safe.”

“There is something you are not telling me.”

“The man who runs the town… he and I aren’t exactly friendly. There was a threat of throat-cutting last time I was in port.”

“Never mind that. Just sail.”

She gave the wheel a turn and began to yell directions to the men handling the sails. Narula turned and snarled, “Come take the wheel.”

“Me? I know nothing about sailing a ship!”

“Just hold the damnable thing. It’s fighting me like a demon. Hurry, the storm is catching up to us!”

Sarevok stepped forward and grabbed the wheel. It shuddered as it reacted to the rudder’s struggles to keep the ship headed for port. He firmly held it in place. Narula gave him a sharp nod before running off to bellow more orders at her sailors. Sarevok kept the ship steady, but did not let her leave his sight.

After what seemed an eternity, he saw a faint shadow on the horizon. As it grew nearer, Narula came to his side, clinging to anything she could hold onto to prevent being washed over the rail. She shot him a grateful look before taking control of the ship. “Hang on tight, this could get rough.”

Sarevok had never seen a ship sail into port so quickly. He winced as they seemed to fly between anchored vessels. But as soon as they had cleared the spurs of land that encircled the docks, the wind died down and the waves calmed. The rain still beat down with thunderous force, but the Tiger was safe.

It did not take long for the crew to anchor the ship and prepare it to ride out the rest of the storm. Narula looked at Sarevok tiredly and said, “Now we can go below decks.”

Sarevok squelched his way to his cabin, wet and cold down to the bone. He pulled off his tunic and dropped it to the floor. He was startled as the door flew open. Without a word, Narula pushed past him, pulled out a drawer under his bunk and began to rummage around inside of it.

“Narula!”

“Hmm?”

“I was undressing.”

“So will I be in a few moments, but if you recall this is normally my cabin and I am out of dry clothes where I’m bunking.”

“I am accustomed to privacy.”

She turned and scowled at him. “Now see here, this is my ship and my cabin. You can stuff your modesty in a bag for the time being. I’m drying off.”

Sarevok averted his eyes as she began to strip out of her soggy clothing. He heard her say, “You really don’t like this, do you?”

“I am… uncomfortable.”

Narula stepped up to him, a drying cloth wrapped around her body. “You’ve been alone a very long time, haven’t you?” she whispered. She ran her hand up his bare chest. “To go without someone to hold… I don’t think I could bear it.”

“I cannot deny it has been lonely.”

Her other hand joined the first in moving gently up his chest until they rested on his shoulders. She leaned against his body and said, “That can change. We all need someone now and then, and it is no shame to ask.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, nearly shivering at her touch. He could smell rain and flesh and seawater, and it was intoxicating. “Narula, I do not… I am not sure I can do this.”

“I’m not asking for love, Sarevok. I’m just looking for a randy good…”

“Narula!”

“By Umberlee, have you never bedding someone for the simple pleasure of feeling another body against yours?”

“I have. But this… is how my love for Anomen began. I needed someone, and he offered himself to me. I cannot go through that again.”

“I’m not your Anomen. You told me that he loved you before you even knew he preferred men. I like you, Sarevok, I enjoy your company, but I’m not interested in a permanent lover. If you don’t want me, then I’ll find other arms to drive away the storm’s chill.”

Sarevok stared at her for a long moment. “You are… very beautiful, you know.”

“So I’ve been told. Now out of those wet clothes.”

A pirate i was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!



Hrm, am i to be considered demented for not remembering why i caught a whiff of this latest turn of events on the wind with the last chapter?

Ack, but it's good, it is, it is.


So, silrana, what do you plan to write once you've settled Sarevok as the irate pirate lord of an southern paradise island?

First part:

Second part: I hope you really stick with this being just a fling, because my brain is saying it's awesome if it is and tacky if it isn't

Ploughing the ocean wave suits Sarevok, I think. Or at least, it matches his unhappy restlessness. Taking it up on a permanent basis could be good or bad for him...

Narula is still brilliant. Very straightforward, not given to melancholy. Good influence on Sarevok, maybe - takes him out of himself.

Thanks for the chapter, Silrana. The quality hasn't dropped at all, even though you're writing so quickly.

A pirate i was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!

*laughs*

Hrm, am i to be considered demented for not remembering why i caught a whiff of this latest turn of events on the wind with the last chapter?

Not at all.

Ack, but it's good, it is, it is.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

So, silrana, what do you plan to write once you've settled Sarevok as the irate pirate lord of an southern paradise island?

*coughs* Well, maybe not a *pirate* lord...

Once A Cappella is finished, I will be turning my attention to an original novel. I don't know if my work will ever make it onto any bookstore shelves, but I'm going to give it a try.

Thanks for commenting!

First part:

Funerals are never cheerful.

Second part: I hope you really stick with this being just a fling, because my brain is saying it's awesome if it is and tacky if it isn't

Wait and see... I'm not finished with things yet.

Thanks for commenting!

Ploughing the ocean wave suits Sarevok, I think. Or at least, it matches his unhappy restlessness. Taking it up on a permanent basis could be good or bad for him...

We'll see.

Narula is still brilliant. Very straightforward, not given to melancholy. Good influence on Sarevok, maybe - takes him out of himself.

I have a lot of fun writing her.

Thanks for the chapter, Silrana. The quality hasn't dropped at all, even though you're writing so quickly.

*chuckles* I cheated. A lot of this was written a long time ago, I'm just now getting to its place in the story. The final chapter of AC was written roughly three years ago. When I get to a chapter, I go over the rough draft and do whatever tweaking and re-writing is necessary, but I don't have to do it from scratch.

Thank you for commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

An original novel, eh? Now that sounds intresting...
My sister has been trying to get different stories of hers published for some time now, unsuccessfully.
But then, as to my knowledge she never tried to find a larger audience to get criticsm from to develop her skills with.

I'll just wish you luck.
Pre-emptively.

And though i have no idea what you plan to write about, i'll just mention a little matter of taste that came up in my head while reading AC:
Beware excess pillowtalk

An original novel, eh? Now that sounds intresting...
My sister has been trying to get different stories of hers published for some time now, unsuccessfully.
But then, as to my knowledge she never tried to find a larger audience to get criticsm from to develop her skills with.

I would never have had any dreams of being published if I hadn't had the Attic and the feedback I have gotten on my writing. I've known a number of people who have been incredibly helpful in giving me the right pushes and nudges.

I'll just wish you luck.
Pre-emptively.

Thanks!

And though i have no idea what you plan to write about, i'll just mention a little matter of taste that came up in my head while reading AC:
Beware excess pillowtalk

*chuckles* That's the nature of the beast. AC started out a romance, and kept up that theme through most of it. Somewhere along the line it slid over towards epic fantasy, but I have tried to keep a certain amount of the romance 'flavor'. Also, my style of writing is character and dialogue driven, so pillow talk, like all other types of dialogue, gets heavy use.

The original novel really won't have much opportunity for pillow talk. Most of it involves murder and intrigue, and is not an 'adventurer' type story. The protagonist will be too busy trying to stay alive to do much romancing.

Oooh!
Intrigue!
Even better, murder! ^^


Erm, i'm a little unsure of if i should continue with this line of thought, but anyway, i'm crazy enough so i'll just go ahead.
*Sniff*

...

I liked the AC, at worst i was reading it past midnight in the middle of the week. <_<
I'll blame you for that to evade blame.

Anyway, despite the story being romance centered, i found it a little odd at first that you decided to have all of the party members paired up in such a way.
I preferred mamma Mazzy.

Oh well, it did lead to intresting results with Mr. anchev, and without that the story might already be over, so i won't complain.

I liked the AC, at worst i was reading it past midnight in the middle of the week. <_<
I'll blame you for that to evade blame.

*snicker* Okay, I'll take the blame for you.

Anyway, despite the story being romance centered, i found it a little odd at first that you decided to have all of the party members paired up in such a way.
I preferred mamma Mazzy.

Oh well, it did lead to intresting results with Mr. anchev, and without that the story might already be over, so i won't complain.

Actually, that was an odd evolution. You see, I had an outline for all of A Cappella. And while almost everything was nailed down before I started posting, some things changed along the way.

The first draft of the outline started out with Anomen paired up with Imoen, and Valygar and Mazzy having their friendly knight-squire relationship but nothing more. But characters have a way of nagging at you, and every time I tried to come up with assorted plot points, Valygar kept insisting that he would be a better match for Imoen, and Anomen... Anomen kept telling me he was gay. And that he was supposed to die.

Okay, I thought, I can re-arrange this. It will just be Anomen and Mazzy becoming close friends. I developed loose plans to write an off-screen lover for Anomen, another squire he had a quiet relationship with but they were apart because duty called, because none of the SoA males were suitable partners for him. Sarevok was still going to replace a pregnant Mazzy, but he was going to pine for Tamoko.

That was how things stood when I started writing AC. I proceeded along merrily until I got to the point where I started scripting Anomen's lover. I had decided that sometime late in the series it would be revealed that Ano was gay, and have him talk about his lover. So, I started running through what characteristic I felt would attract Anomen. After I was done with my character sketch of the lover, I stared at it and realized that I had written a sketch of Sarevok. Well, how could I ignore a challenge like that?

So you see, it wasn't originally intended to be "Bhaalspawn and the people who love them" but it turned out that way.

So you see, it wasn't originally intended to be "Bhaalspawn and the people who love them" but it turned out that way. icon_biggrin.gif

Hah!

Well.
It was intresting, it had certain effects which i considered to be somewhat negative and which i already mentioned; a piling up of pillowtalk.
But hey, overall it's just thumbs up for me.