Laughing Pandemonium: Under Mask in Chaos 5

Free for all! Laughing Pandemonium is back! Once again, bassed very loosely on a con I went to. Very, very loosely.



The scent of something sharp wafted to her nose, cut through the grogginess that fogged her brain. She was jerked suddenly back into consciousness.

Huh?

She opened heavy eyelids, to stare into a familiar green-eyed face. Kit stiffened.

Nathaniel withdrew a small vial from beneath her nose, capped it, and slid it into one of his many hidden pockets.

“Wha…was that?” Kit demanded.

Nathaniel sighed. “A chemical mixture that works similarly to smelling salts. It can put you back to sleep as well, if you don’t behave.” He warned.

“Well excuse me!” she snapped. “Next time someone threatens my life, remind me to thank him politely!”

Nathaniel actually looked a little dejected at her reaction.

What, did he really expect me to be grateful that he was willing to kill me? Or that he looked like he would enjoy it so very much?

He jammed his hat onto his head. “Get your wig on.” He said harshly. “We’re going now. We’ve got to ‘accidentally’ meet the others in the Con Suite.”

“Fine, fine” she arranged the orange hair over her own.


The maid despaired at ever getting the unidentifiable mess in the bathroom cleaned up. She railed against Conventions, Anime, and just People in general as she ran to get a better mop.


“Look.” Nathaniel motioned to a small girl with sandy hair who wore a generic Japanese-style schoolgirl uniform. “It’s the girl from yesterday.”

He tried to place his hand on Indicolite’s back, to guide her, but the young woman pulled away from his touch with a slight scowl of revulsion.

Why does she always do that? All I’ve ever done is try to protect her. Hmph. Show a little affection, and they walk all over you…

The girl was watching them, without staring al them directly. She knew they were there.

“Let’s get some breakfast.” He suggested.

“For once, I agree with you.” Indicolite said. “Just try not to kill anyone with your food.”

“It was just that one time!” Nathaniel protested. “And he got exactly what he deserved! Talking to you like that! How was I supposed to know that he wasn’t an enemy? He did threaten you after all. Besides,” He sniffed. “It wasn’t that painful a death.”

“Nathaniel you burned him with your coffee. Then mine. Then Kaza’s. THEN you suffocated him with a doughnut! Humiliating AND painful!”

“I guess the coffee would have been enough.” Nathaniel admitted. “Then he would have lived and had scars. But I don’t leave my enemies alive to come back later, you know that.” He snatched up a bowl of what he assumed was cereal. Or rather, since it was warm, oatmeal. That was good. He liked oatmeal.

“You’re just lucky that Pasty…That work has such a good clean up crew. And he wasn’t really an enemy.” Kit scolded. “Just a jealous ex-boyfriend with violent tendencies and an unfortunate habit of drinking in the morning.”

“Like I said.” Nathaniel confirmed. “An enemy.”

They are all enemies. Every ex-boyfriend. Every man who looks at you sideways. Every WOMAN who looks at you sideways. I’ll murder them all for you. Why don’t you see that?

“Oh my!” The “Schoolgirl” exclaimed. Why, you’re those nice people from yesterday! How’d you like your picture?”

Indicolite smiled at the girl, who sounded like a complete airhead.

Real, or part of the disguise?

“Yes, we did indeed, dear.” Indicolite told her. “A charming picture indeed.”

“Oh, you must come sit with me and my friends! You’ll like them, I just know it!” She grabbed Indicolite’s arm and tugged. Kit allowed herself to be dragged away. Nathaniel followed.

“Okay.” He muttered to Indicolite. “We just had a nonchalant conversation about murdering a man over breakfast and nobody even batted an eyelash. Why?”

“What’cha gotta understand about these places,” Indicolite explained. “Is that a LOT of weird people come to these sort of events. Strange things take place, even without the aid of magic. Sometimes people like to pretend that they are the characters that they dressed up as. You are dressed up as the main character in a bloody, death-strewn show. No one is going to pay attention to you if you talk about death. Now if I were perhaps the say ‘Hey, Alucard here is going to strip!’,” Several heads turned, not all of them female. There were a few whistles, some catcalls and clapping. Somebody crowed an encouragement.

“There would be a much different reaction.” Indicolite finished smugly.

Nathaniel glared around himself. He reddened just a little when a baby-faced young man called out a rather…suggestive invitation.

“I am not stripping!” He cried. There was a chorus of disappointed sounds.

“These people are all crazy.” Nathaniel stated. “You included.”

Indicolite snorted. “Huh. That’s rich, coming from you, Lunatic.”

“Uhm, here they are!” The girl chirped. She led them into a half-secluded room, occupied by the roster of people shown in the magical photo from yesterday. The girl sidled over to the tall man dressed as D and plopped into the chair beside him. He gave her a nonplussed look.

Kit and Nathaniel took their own seats. Nathaniel peeled the lid off his bowl of breakfast, only to be confronted by-

“Soup?” He asked, confused. “Who eats soup for breakfast?”

“The Japanese, obviously.” Kit answered. “It’s miso. Good stuff.” She dug into her own with great enthusiasm.

“Uh-huh. If you say so.” He glanced at the others. “Good morning.” The young man said, addressing the others and leaving his partner to her…breakfast soup. “So, this is the girl we have to protect. Any sign of our ex-friend?”

“A beast in the bathroom last night.” ‘D’ rumbled.

“Same here.” The redhead said. The dark-skinned woman nodded.

“Us too.” The purple-haired boy and the girl with the bag over her head agreed.

“Yes.” The child in the bunny suit said. “They were drawn towards those of us who use magic. Any kind of magic, it appears.” She informed them. She sounded much more intelligent than a mere child would usually be given credit for, but the Lady employed all types.

“We had one as well.” Nathaniel told them. “I took care of it.”

“I can’t locate it yet.” The ‘schoolgirl’ said sadly. “Not even with Madi’ augmenting everything. I won’t be able to find it until it does something major.”

The child in the bunny outfit, “Madi’” presumably, patted the girl on the knee.

“I’ll see if I can’t turn up the juice a little.” She said.

“You there. Girl.” ‘D’ said, addressing Indicolite. “What is your name, and what can we count on you to be able to do?”

Indicolite stopped slurping soup. “My name is Indicolite Burgess.” She said, matching the tall man stare for stare. “Call me Kit. I’m a conjuring wizard, but I’m low on supplies, so I can only cast small magics here and there. I have a minimal amount of martial arts training. I can fire a gun, but I have little to no depth perception, so I can’t guarantee that I will hit what I aim at.”

‘D’ rolled piercing green eyes. “Lovely. In other words; an invalid.”

“ Not so bad as that!” Nathaniel protested. Indicolite silenced him.

“Nah, he’s right. I’m not trained well enough to be of much help. Besides, you sound a lot like Nathan when you complain like that, and I don’t need to be confused as to whom I’m talking too.”

“Fine fine.” He agreed. “I’m Nathaniel Bedlam, and I hope to remain that way all weekend. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to eat soup for breakfast, and enjoy it as well.” And he tucked into his miso.

Indicolite had been correct. It was very good.


“I wonder why no one else was eating?” Indicolite said after the awkward meeting was adjourned, and their allies went back to their business. “They really missed out!”

“I don’t think they missed out on anything. I think they probably had meals of their own last night.” Nathaniel said absently.

“Huh?”

“Oh, didn’t you notice?” He asked. “Their badges. The ones they showed us to confirm identity? Most of them were from the Dusk through Dawn divisions.”

“What does that mean?” She asked, threading her way through a gaggle of pre-teens dressed as magical girls.

“It means they’re nocturnal.” Nathaniel answered. Indicolite stopped walking.

“You mean to tell me,” She asked very quietly. “That what I hear about the Lady hiring vampires is true?”

“It certainly is.” He told her.

“And all of those…people…?”

“Sure enough.” He confirmed. She started walking again.

“Any reason you saw fit not to inform me of this?” She asked tersely.

“Why is it important?” He asked. “Are you prejudiced against the undead? Besides, I didn’t even know myself, until I got a look at their rings. Did you notice? They were mostly wearing matching rings. They all had very, very strong protective magics placed on them. Probably to keep our erstwhile companions from busting into flame under sunlight.”

“Fine, whatever.” Indicolite muttered. “As long as they don’t try to eat me in the middle of the night, we’ll get along fine.”

Nathaniel chuckled. “I’m more likely to try that then they are.”

“And that is why we don’t get along!” Indicolite snapped. Then she glanced at her watch. “Hey, I need to get to Audience Hall B. I volunteered to work at the Yaoi showing.”

“Yaoi?” Nathaniel asked, the strange word not fitting quite correctly in his mouth. “What’s that?”

Indicolite turned surprised eyes on him. “I guess someone who doesn’t know much about anime wouldn’t know. It’s…anime. Anime with a …specific theme.” She said, her voice a little tight. “My job is to stand just inside the door and make sure no minors come in.”

“Minors?” Nathaniel asked. “Oh. It’s got ‘adult themes’, eh?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Heh. Good. Maybe I can enjoy myself at this raging geek fest after all.”

Indicolite’s face split into a wide, cruel grin. It was the same expression that Nathaniel himself often wore, when he’d devised a way to torment someone that was particularly excruciating. He did not recognize the expression when Indicolite wore it. Upon reflection, if he had, he’d have run and not stopped running until he reached the state line.

“Why yes, Nathaniel.” She said with deceptive gentleness. “Do come along. We can use all the help we can get, and you aren’t supposed to leave my side at all, right?”

“Right.” He said, walking straight into the lions den. “That’s my job. Let’s make with the porn!”

Two hours later, Nathaniel stumbled out of Audience Hall B, a stricken look across his aquiline features. Indicolite followed, gales of laughter bubbling up from her small form.

“Oh, Lord and Lady!” She crowed. “The look on your face!”

“Indicolite…” He said, his voice strained. “If we survive to get back to our room tonight, I am going to make you suffer as much as I just did.”

“How would you like to get beaned upside the head with a plastic gun?” She threatened.

“Oh, would you?” Nathaniel pleaded. “If you hit me hard enough, I might just forget the torment you just put me through!”

“And Nathan might wake up, and I would have one hell of a time trying to explain to him how he got here!” Kit laughed. “ Never pegged you for a homophobe.”

“I’m not!” Nathaniel objected. “I have no problem with..with guys having…with that! My eldest brother’s gay! I just don’t want to think about him…Doing…that…”

“Uh-huh.” Indicolite said, her tome showing that she was not at all convinced. “But lesbians are sexy, right?”

“No way!” Nathaniel declared. “I don’t see why guys think that. That’s just two more girls who aren’t going to sleep with you! Seems a tragic waste to me.”

Indicolite sighed. “I finally find a guy who agrees with me on the matter, and he turns out to be a homicidal psychopath.”

“Well you didn’t think that it was sexy did you?” Nathaniel demanded. Indicolite grinned.

“Maybe a little.” She teased. Nathaniel recoiled.

“But you just said-“

“I just got to watch two people have passionate sex on a huge projector screen. That is somewhat arousing. Doesn’t matter that it was just a cartoon. It’s still sex. Lemme tell you something. Yaoi is very popular among girls. You know what’s even more popular among girls? Guys who could walk into that room, knowing what was there, and watch anyway.”

“But all the guys in there were gay!” he cried out, and then quieted at Indicolite’s quelling look. “Weren’t they?”

“I’d say, not even half of them were gay. They were just smart. They know how to attract girls at an anime con. Yup, every guy who went into that place is probably gonna get laid tonight.”

Nathaniel smiled, slowly and slyly.

“Except you.” Indicolite added. Nathaniel frowned.

By the way, in case you don't know, Yaoi is gay anime porn.

And yes, at Anime Iowa my sister and I stood in the door and made sure no minors came in. And we had to explain Yaoi to quite a few bewildered guys who had only been informed that it involved sex. It was a freakin' riot. Watching their eyes get huge, then seeing them dissapear, leaving only a them-shaped cloud of smoke in their wake...Delightful.

Interesting characters & very well written!

Where can I find more chapters?