All is Well

She was in the library, helping Phlydia shelve books, and Renai held so many books already that the heavy volumes kept slipping from her hands. Pages exploded from the bindings as the struck the floor, flying around the room in a storm of pages and parchment. "Phlydia," she cried as the elderly gnome piled another stack of books in her arms, "wait! Give me time!"

"Can't stop, can't stop," Phlydia cried. Renai could not see her through the maelstrom nor hear her through the deafening clatter of the falling books. "It's never done, never done, and if you stop for a moment you're lost. See?"

All the tomes in the bookcase spilled from the shelves like lemmings falling from a cliff. Phlydia laughed, a cruel snigger laced with derision that sent shivers up Renai's spine. It was a laugh she knew too well. Through the pages she saw Phlydia staring at her. That is, it was Phlydia's body, but that was not her face. She was wearing His face, looking at her with His dead eyes. "Haven't you wasted enough time, godchild?" He shouted. "What else will you lose while you dally?"

Renai opened her mouth to scream, but a page from a book flew into her face, stealing her sight. "Why do you wait?" He cried. "You know that our meeting is inevitable. So come. Come forward, godchild. Let this end." The floor beneath her feet disappeared, and Renai fell with the books through empty space. She was falling, falling, falling forever. ...

Renai sat up, batting frantically at a piece of paper stuck to her face. With wild eyes, she stared around the room, hunting for escape. The triphammer pounding of her heart drowned out even the sound of her anxious breaths, but when the moments passed and no attack came, Renai's calmed and finally realized where she was.

Crumbling plaster walls and worn gray floorboards indicated a room at the Copper Coronet, but this was not its usual anonymous, dingy cells. This room was lived in. Standing sentry on the wide windowsill beside her were four books, a gray feather marking a page in the center of the second one. Clothes and balls of dust were scattered higgledy-piggledy on the floor. Seeming out of place, her bow and quiver hung on the back of a chair that sat before a paper-filled desk.

Where am I? Renai tried to remember how she had come to the room. Last night ... I fell asleep in the hall ... with Yoshimo. Wait. ...

On the paper that now rested at the foot of the bed were lines scrawled in a careful but slanted hand. Gingerly, Renai picked up the paper and read: Jaheira sleeps still in her room, where I am told by the barman her safety is assured for the rest of the day. It is my hope that you slept well, despite the poor condition of my quarters. I have taken the liberty of acquiring garments for you and have made inquiries into the state of the guild. All is well. It seems that you have a day free to yourself. How shall you spend it? Perhaps you would meet me at the guild this evening to share a meal. I look forward to seeing you.

The note was not signed, but Renai knew its author immediately. With the memories of the previous night came a flood of embarrassed giddiness. Oh gods, what must he think of me today? I was practically bawling like a little girl last night, she thought, trying to read between the note's lines. As she read, she remembered the feel of his arms around her, the scent of his skin and the warmth of his breath in her hair. Last night, he had held her, given her comfort and put her to bed – hastily Renai peeked under the blanket and saw that she was still fully dressed, and she couldn't keep back her smile at her mild disappointment. And after all that, he still wanted to see her for dinner. Maybe, she thought bravely, I'm doing something right after all. Or maybe the gods are just smiling on me now.

That thought put Renai in mind, regretfully, of Anomen, and all the errands she had meant to run the day before and hadn't. Folding Yoshimo's note carefully, Renai threw back the blankets and bounded out of the bed, daring to feel good for the first time in days. Tendays. If Imoen's imprisonment wasn't still hanging over her head, she would have actually felt happy. But still, she was alive and there was hope. It had been a long time since she had hoped.

Renai actually started humming as she felt around under the bed for her boots and picked up the new clothes from the floor – an ankle-length black skirt, a dark-red, sleeveless shirt and snug black jacket with elbow-length sleeves. A slit up the side of the skirt, she noted after she dressed, revealed more or less of her leg as she walked. Before she left Yoshimo's room, Renai paused to study her reflection in the small, smudgy looking glass hanging on the wall above the table. Not bad, she thought with a grin. He has better taste in clothes than I do. Maybe I should let him dress me every day. Her sudden blush ruined her pose. Quickly, she ducked away from the mirror to pick up her bow and quiver and left the room before she could follow the thought to more concupiscent ones.

The narrow hallway was deserted, making Renai wonder what the hour was. She crossed to Jaheira's room, then tapped lightly on its door before entering. In the bed, buried under old satin and dusty brocade coverlets, snoozed Jaheira. "Hey," Renai whispered, "you awake?"

"No," Jaheira mumbled into the thin feather pillow. She then rolled over to curl up with her back to Renai. "I am asleep still. And I am dreaming that someone has removed your brain and turned you into a half-orc, because you suddenly have become a fool and started asking useless questions."

Renai grinned. "You're feeling better." She fingered the coverlet and looked at the threadbare tapestries on the walls. Instead of the unrelieved dinginess for which the Coronet was famous, this room had a look of shabby elegance. Last night, Bernard had called this the Coronet's finest, and while it was a far cry from a luxury, it was a hundred times better than the rooms had been under its former management. Obviously Hendak, the slave they had freed from the fighting pits beneath the tavern, was working to make the Coronet respectable. "Do you want anything?" she asked. "Breakfast? Wash water? A head on a silver plate?"

Jaheira's arm worked out of the covers and waved Renai away. "I just want sleep. An hour does not pass that someone does not come in: Bernard and Hendak, and even the Kozakuran. All this concern for my well-being will be my death."

The mention of Yoshimo brought the giddiness back with a vengeance, just as Renai had gotten it under a semblance of control. "Yeah, um," she stammered, digging at the floor with her toe, "Yoshimo kind of helped me guard your door last night. Uh, did he say anything?"

Jaheira snorted and rolled over. "Only his usually flowery phrases and empty noises of concern for my health. Such worry for me stirs my curiosity."

"Jae," Renai sighed, flopping down onto the bed beside the druid. She leaned back on her elbows. "Why do you have to be like that with him?"

"It is ... many things," Jaheira said slowly. "Foremost is that we met him within the Shattered One's dungeon, and that he has made such an effort to remain in our company."

"Yeah, but everyone does that. Everyone we meet seems to want to travel with us. Remember Branwen? Gods, she followed us around like a duckling for days. We couldn't get rid of her. All the while it was Tempus this and warriors that. Drove me batty."

"Indeed." A small smile pulled at the corner of Jaheira's lips. "It was a stroke of bad luck that she became separated from us within the Nashkel mines. A pity we were not able to find her again."

"Oh, yeah." Renai bit her lip and looked away. "Lucky. I mean, it was bad luck, really. Unfortunate."

"I am sure she is well. She was single-handedly slaying a rather large number of kobolds when you led us to give chase to that gnoll. And by the time we caught up with you, she was far behind us and we had no choice but to advance."

"Hey, the entrance to the next level was right there, and that led us straight to Mulahey. What were we going to do?"

"What surprised me," Jaheira said as she picked absently at a loose thread in the coverlet's weave, "was that the gnoll to whom you gave chase had gotten away from you. But I suppose imagined prey are harder to catch than real ones."

Uh-oh. Busted. Renai looked back at Jaheira and saw the knowing look in her friend's hazel eyes. "I felt really bad about that, leaving her there," she mumbled.

"You should not." Jaheira's smile widened. "Branwen was not a proper fit into our party. And she often made advances on Khalid when my back was turned."

Renai exhaled. "I am so glad you knew. She never let up on him. And she was not subtle."

"A storm is subtle; Branwen was a cyclone," Jaheira said dryly. "And that I knew is irrelevant. Why did you not tell me of her interest in Khalid, if you knew?"

"I know I should have told you, but I was afraid if you found out you'd turn her back into a statue. I thought at least I'd give her a running start. Because, you know, nothing happened."

"I know," Jaheira said softly. The smile on her face became a venomous grin that made her look again like her caustic self. "I will admit to you now, the scroll you found in my pack in the mines, it was not a scroll of stone to flesh. I spent my last copper to buy a scroll of flesh to stone. And," she spat, "a very large hammer."

Renai's jaw dropped, but when her eyes met Jaheira's sardonic gaze, she burst into loud, unexpected guffaws. Her merriment broke Jaheira's mordent mood, and she joined Renai's laughter. And it felt so good to laugh after so many days of not laughing that she and Jaheira laughed until tears came to their eyes. When the occupant of the room next door pounded on the wall and demanded their silence, they laughed even harder and longer until finally they were left too weak and breathless to even giggle.

When they quieted, Jaheira settled again onto her pillow and Renai sat up. "So you're good?" Renai asked. "I'm going to go check on some things, but I can come back for you later."

"No," Jaheira sighed, her eyes closing. "That will not be necessary. When I feel rested, I will return to the guild. I will be fine."

"But what about the Harpers? Jae, you're still not up to a fight. If they come for you ... "

"I will be fine," Jaheira stressed. She opened her eyes and fixed Renai with a hard gaze. "We have days yet before another move is made. This, I know. Trust me."

Renai stood. "Trust you," she repeated. "I only trust you these days."

"No, you also trust the Kozakuran, and you should not."

They were back where they had started, despite Renai's efforts at misdirection. "Jae," she whined, but Jaheira cut her off.

"Hear me out, child. I cannot find the proper words to explain why I do not trust him. I have a feeling. Perhaps you will tell me I am wrong, and if you can I will be glad. But there is something about him that gives me pause. Just please take care with what you give over to him." Jaheira rolled over again and settled herself under the covers. "I will meet you at the guild later. And the room outside yours, that is still mine. Do not let him take it."

"All right, all right." Renai threw her hands up in the air. "Don't let Yoshimo take your bed. Don't trust Yoshimo. Anything else about Yoshimo?"

"Yes, do not tell him what I said. I will be able to watch him better if he does not know my suspicions."

"Gods!" Renai opened the door to the room to leave, but paused on the threshold. "What will it take for you to trust him, anyway?"

"With men such as he, I trust them when they are dead," Jaheira yawned, "or ensorcelled. Do not worry, child. I will not require one or the other."

"How generous of you," Renai said acidly, but shook her head. This is just what she does, she's trying to protect me. But I don't need protecting. Not from him. Jaheira's answer was a long, raspy snore. Renai slammed the door behind her hard enough to crack the plaster above the door. Through it she heard Jaheira's weak laugh and the rustle of covers as she settled again for sleep.

She is not going to ruin my day, Renai told herself firmly as she descended the stairs and wound her way through the tavern's tables. I'm not going to think about it. Not today. Bernard gave her a cheerful wave and a nod, which she returned as she headed through the Coronet's rusty-hinged front door.

Outside, the slum was as dark, dank and disgusting as ever, but Renai paid the dismal scene no attention. With purpose in her stride, she headed north toward the temple district. As she pulled closer to the district and its ostentatious buildings, Renai grimaced. I bet Anomen would come looking for me eventually at the guild. Why don't I go there now? No, she thought, I meant to go see him, and see him I shall. But gods, temples and priests make me just itch.

She stopped at a fruit barrow to trade a copper with the vendor for a summer-withered apple and munched on it as she walked. I know I told Sir Keldorn I'd try to be a little more open-minded, but ... well, that's a thought for another day.

As she passed into the government district and crossed its large, lush central park, Renai finished the apple in a few neat bites and was hunting for a trash receptacle when she saw across the street the unmistakable glint of everbright-polished armor that could only be Anomen. "Hey, wonder boy!" she called, waving. Despite the distance between them, she saw his smile was as bright as his armor as he returned the wave.

The day he had spent away had done him some good, Renai noted as she approached. Instead of the broken, angst-ridden mess Sir Keldorn had led away, Anomen was again handsome, strutting and arrogant. Did I say handsome? she thought with a rueful smile. Well, he is, I can't deny that. He's got that classic good looks thing going for him. Never romance a man who's prettier than you, that's what I always say. But I have to admit, the pretty ones are fun to watch. Especially when they're walking away. "Hey," she repeated, grinning as much at him as at her own silly thoughts, "I was just coming to find you."

Anomen took her hand in his and stooped over it as if to kiss it, but stopped just before his lips touched her skin. "I am glad to see you, my lady," he said as she released her. "It heartens me to know that you were seeking my company. May I walk with you?"

"Sure. But now that I've found you, I don't know where I'm going."

"Then you shall accompany me to Sir Keldorn's home. He went there this morn to visit his family before returning to your guild and asked that I would meet him there. Shall we then?" Before Renai could answer, Anomen took her hand again and placed it in the crook of his arm.

"Uh, sure," Renai repeated. The formal pose made her uncomfortable, and she pulled her hand free after a few steps, pretending to fiddle with her bow. "So how are you?"

"As I said, my lady, it is a fine day," Anomen replied with a courteous nod. "The report of our recent victories have been well-received, and the High Watcher has given me much praise. I mean, given our party praise."

Uh-huh, Renai thought, giving Anomen a sly look that he ignored. "So what happened with Mae'Var, then, that's all right?" Anomen gave her a blank look and did not answer, so Renai pressed, "I mean, you were pretty upset the last time I saw you."

"Ah, yes, that," Anomen answered with his face away from her. "It was a heated battle. I left our group to meditate, as Sir Keldorn surely did as well. Many knights of the Order spend time in quiet meditation after such a trying campaign." He looked back at her, a shadow darkening his countenance for a moment before he chased it away with a forced smile. "I assure you, my lady, all is well."

Renai frowned. "Anomen," she said carefully, "what happened there was really, well, I just want to be sure ... "

"All is well," Anomen said again, and Renai saw his jaw clench tightly as he forced the words through his teeth.

"Really." Renai shook her head. "Anomen, you beat a man to death with your bare hands. That's a traumatic event for anyone, even you. I'm worried ..."

Anomen's eyes shone like blue steel as he growled, "I tell you that I am well. It is a grand thing, to rid this world of a man as evil as my ... Mae'Var. While your concern is appreciated, it is not necessary. My lady."

There was no way Renai could have missed the frost in Anomen's words that were meant to end the conversation. "All right," she said, giving up. "All right, I'm sorry. You're ... you're right." If she pushed him, he might retreat even further from her, and she didn't want that. Anomen was a lot like Imoen, and she so missed Imoen that having the young priest of Helm around was a comfort to her.

So if I were talking to Imoen about this right now, what would I do? she thought. That didn't help; she and Imoen fought like sisters because Renai had no ability to navigate Imoen's moods. Instead she walked beside Anomen in silence, her tongue tied as she tried to think of the right words and failed.

Thankfully, it was Anomen who broke first, and his sigh was as bitter as the look in his eyes. "No, it is I who should apologize. It was not my intention to be rude, my lady," he said softly, the anger and tension melting from his frame.

"You weren't that rude." Renai smiled to encourage him, but his eyes remained fixed on the walkway before them. Hesitantly, she took his arm again to catch his attention. "You don't have to apologize to me, Anomen. You've been on the hard end of my temper often enough."

"That is kind of you, my lady, but you have been a good friend to me, and I feel I must at least offer an explanation." Anomen shook his head and slowed their pace, dropping his voice so that Renai had to lean close to him to hear his words. "You are right to be concerned. I have been concerned. It is that there is this ... harsh zeal that overtakes me at times. There is an anger inside me that I cannot seem to control."

He stopped and looked over his shoulder, toward the north. Towering above the stately houses in the government district were the spires of the temples. They shone in the pale morning sunshine like beacons in a storm. "I see injustices everywhere, my lady," Anomen continued, "and I wish to do nothing but strike out against them. But even when I do ... I keep on striking out ... and the hate and anger only grows."

"Have you talked to anyone at the temples about this? Sir Keldorn, or your High Watcher or anyone like that?"

"I have, and they tell me nothing. Only that it is good and right to be angry that such evil exists in the world. But it is not just that, my lady." Anomen hung his head, his neatly combed hair falling over his forehead. Renai fought the impulse to smooth it away as if he were a small boy. "When I think of fighting against such evil, such as ... Mae'Var, I become angry, not just at him but at my own inability to be ... to be as good and lawful as I might wish to be."

"Oh, Anomen." Renai reached up and took Anomen's face in her hands to make him look at her. "Everyone feels like that. Even the most holy noble types have to feel that way. No one's perfect."

Anomen pulled Renai's hands away from his face and gripped them tightly. "I do not know," he said, but on his face she saw a glimmer of his stubborn strength. "The paladins in the Order speak only of contentment ... and I have none of that. But I thank you for your kind words, regardless. You know, you remind me of my sister, Moira," His face lit up as his sister's name fell from his lips. "She, too, has a decent soul and a benevolent heart. You should meet her sometime, Renai. I truly think you would like each other."

"'Renai,' huh? Isn't that awfully familiar of you? You usually call me, 'my lady,' or some such nonsense," Renai said. Anomen's eyes widened and he began to stammer yet another apology, but she shook her head and grinned. "Stop it, I kind of like hearing you actually say my name. I'm just teasing. What am I going to do with you, wonder boy?"

"I do not know," Anomen said again, and Renai suddenly realized that he still was holding her hands and that he was standing very close to her. Very close. And in his eyes glowed a dark blue heat that seemed to pull at her. ...

A bubble of anxiety in Renai's brain suddenly popped, bringing her back to her senses. She shook herself and pulled away from Anomen's grip. What the hell was that about? she wondered as she started quickly down the path again. That was ... no, whatever it was, it wasn't that. It wasn't.

"My ... ah, Renai," Anomen called, and Renai realized she had trotted ahead several steps. "Where are you going?"

Renai turned and sheepishly returned to him. "To Sir Keldorn's."

"But we are here already." Anomen nodded to a house behind her. "This is the Firecam estate."

Before them was a grand manor of immense size that sprawled over lovingly tended grounds. "He has an estate?" Renai picked her jaw up from the ground as she pushed away her surprise. She didn't know why she was so shocked by the sudden showing of the old paladin's affluent excess. Most of the Order in Athkatla were nobles, so it made sense that Sir Keldorn would be one, too. But he's so damn pious! "I was under the impression that he stayed at the Order."

Anomen shrugged. "Generally, he does. Attendance at the Order is oft required, but many knights maintain separate estates for their families in this district. It's quite common."

"Huh," Renai grunted. "How does his family feel about that?"

"I do not know," Anomen said, and from the look on his face, Renai could tell that her question truly did mystify him. "Perhaps you will meet them, since we are here. Shall we then, my lady?" He offered her his arm.

Renai took it, allowing him to lead her up the immaculate walk. "So do you live around here, too?"

Anomen stiffened, and Renai immediately regretted asking the question. "My father's home is nearby," he said. "When you meet my sister, it will not be there. But I will be sure to arrange a meeting soon. I would very much like that, my lady." He paused, and Renai saw him glance over his shoulder toward a house at the north. "I would like that very much indeed."