The Way of the World

Through the scratches in the paint blackening the building's front windows, Keldorn uneasily watched the yellow fog drift through Athkatla's streets.

There is yet time to save Renai from her insidious intent to join the Shadow Thieves, he mused, turning from the window to watch the staircase leading to Renal Bloodscalp's lair. She would not be pleased, but in time she would understand that it's for her own good. But instead of bolting for the stairs, Keldorn sighed and watched the thieves come and go through the shadowy commerce showcased in the lower rooms of the thieves' den.

A woman, wearing a dark blue dress that matched her wide eyes and a translucent black veil across her face, picked her way past tables, blankets and bins laden with the fences' stolen wares and sidled up to him. "Looking for something in particular?" she purred.

"Nay, madam." Keldorn gently brushed her groping hand from his shoulder. "I am waiting for my charge to complete her business with your leader. That is all."

Perhaps then I can interest you in some ... tea? A rather visionary brew made from an enchanting leaf." From the folds of her dress, the woman produced a small pungent packet. "Certainly there have been others from your organization who are quite fond of it."

Anomen chose that moment to return to Keldorn's side, and his eyes widened at the woman's comment. Keldorn frowned at him and shook his head slightly, then at the woman proffering the dreammist. "I doubt my companions are among your acquaintances," he said firmly. "You are quite mistaken."

"Mmmmm, perhaps," she murmured. She turned her azure stare on Anomen. "You're certainly familiar to me, though. Perhaps, if not tea, then some ... spices ... as usual?" The packet in her hand disappeared and was replaced by a small, neatly folded square of paper printed with a black blossom.

Anomen's eyes widened, and he stepped away from her outstretched hand. "I have never seen this woman before in my life, Sir Keldorn!" he gasped.

The woman's cruel smile stirred Keldorn's irritation. "My apologies, young one," she said, deftly making the black lotus disappear into her pockets. "You certainly resemble someone I know. Perhaps I may give him your regards when I see him next."

Anger colored Anomen's face. "I do not know of whom you speak, woman," he said through gritted teeth.

"Leave us," Keldorn ordered. The woman opened her mouth to continue but saw the look in Keldorn's eyes and closed it. As she moved away, he heard her laugh, tinkling like shattered glass on a floor, and he had to hold his breath to keep from feeling cut by her derision. "Pay no attention to her, lad," he told Anomen. "She can hurt you only if you let her."

"She cannot hurt me with her lies," Anomen said too fiercely. Again, Keldorn sighed; certainly it was no secret even to Anomen that there was no vice to be found in Athkatla that his father had not acquired. Such paternal loyalty was admirable, but it was something that Lord Cor Delryn did not deserve. It is not my concern. How often had he told himself that through the years? Too often for comfort, often enough to make it a rote saying.

Sighing, Keldorn turned to Jaheira, who was nearby browsing through the fences' tables. "How much longer must we wait?"

Jaheira picked up a small bag of sling bullets and spilled a small quantity into her hand to examine them. "You are free to leave at any time, Tormite."

If she calls me that again, I shall ... Keldorn did not allow himself to finish the thought. "She has been talking with Bloodscalp too long. Are you not concerned?"

"Not for her safety. Yoshimo is with her." Jaheira dug some coins from her belt pouch to pay for the bullets. "I, personally, do not trust him, but she does. He will keep her safe. As for the state of her morals -- which is your true question -- I trust Renai to take care of that herself."

Keldorn shook his head. "You remember the atrocities that Bhaal and his minions committed. How can you be so certain Renai is free of that murderous taint? There is a darkness within her that seeks to be freed. Surely you have sensed that in her as I have."

Concern lined the druid's angular face, taking some of the ferocity from her frown but not from her hazel eyes. "I admit I have, and it worries me sometimes. But I do not allow it to color my opinion of her."

"Or perhaps you choose to ignore it entirely."

Jaheira glared at Keldorn. "I see clearly. It is you who sets an impossible standard by which to judge her."

"How else should she be judged?" Keldorn shook his head. "She is Bhaalspawn. She has the capacity for great evil within her. No matter what she does, she will never leave that taint behind her. As a warrior of Torm, I have a duty--"

"As a warrior of Torm, you have a duty to justice," Jaheira snapped, "and you provide Renai with little. Yes, she is a Child of Murder, but that is the very least part of what she is. Would you open your eyes to see her as she is, or do you prefer to stay blind within the darkness in you?"

Keldorn recoiled from Jaheira, as if she had struck him instead of simply hurled accusations at him "You don't know--" he began, but a loud crash interrupted both his heated words and his thoughts.

Yoshimo tumbled down the stairs and across the floor, then rolled to his feet before he plowed into one of the sellers' tables. Renai sauntered down the stairs behind him, dusting off her hands. "No," she said icily over her shoulder as she passed him, "it's not funny. Yoshi."

"It is as you say, meian," the bounty hunter groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "I apologize for my poor jest."

Anomen crossed the room to meet them, and Keldorn noted that on the boy's face was the first smile he had seen in hours. "Are you well, my lady?" Anomen took Renai's hand, which she freed almost as soon as his fingers closed around it.

Yoshimo groaned, and now a small grin played across Renai's lips, but it did not touch her troubled eyes. "I'm fine. Or at least, I will be in a bit." She picked up an arrow from a nearby table and put it down without looking at it. "Bloodscalp wants us to kill Mae'Var. We can say no, but Mae'Var will know we betrayed him to Bloodscalp sooner or later, and then he'll come for us. Or we can kill him," she shrugged and looked hard at the floor, "and we kill him."

Jaheira swore something in a language Keldorn did not recognize. When Renai did not answer, Keldorn could not resist saying, "I did try to warn you, young woman."

"No, you didn't." Renai rolled her eyes. "You were worried about the Shadow Thieves corrupting me, not killing me. Well, cheer up. If we do this, there's one less blackguard for you to guard me from. If we don't, I don't get to join the Shadow Thieves and you're clear of that, too."

"Surely, there is no decision to make!" Anomen cried. "Mae'Var surely deserves death." Keldorn recognized the fierce light glowing in Anomen's eyes as the excitement that often radiated from young men preparing for battle.

Renai did not look at him. "If you say so." She lifted her chin to look at Keldorn. "What do you think?"

Keldorn looked behind him to see whether Jaheira was there. She was not. "You ... you are asking for my advice?"

"I thought that was the deal. You try to keep me righteous, I don't kick and scream so much. So: I've been asked to kill someone. Do. I. Do. It?"

"According to what you have told us," Keldorn said carefully, "Mae'Var is a vile man who has been courting his death for quite some time. Anomen is correct. It is only through Torm's grace that the righteous have the opportunity to cleanse this ..."

Renai held up her hand him to stop him. In her eyes, instead of excitement or determination, he only saw disappointment. "Spare me. Y'know, Sir Keldorn, you can dress it up in morals all you want, but death is death. But hey, whatever gets you through the day, right?"

Keldorn found he did not have a ready rebuttal, and she did not remain for one anyway. Renai turned on her heel and hurried out the door, Jaheira and Anomen close at her heels.

As they left the Shadow Thieves' den, Keldorn asked Yoshimo, "What did you say to her to deserve a tumble down the stairs?"

The normally secretive thief grimaced, but as they followed Renai, a look of clear admiration for her lit his face. "As we left Renal Bloodscalp, I only mentioned that it was amusing that he would employ a child goddess of murder as his assassin, for who would know better how to kill than she?" He grimaced and rubbed his shoulder again. "She did not seem to appreciate the irony."

"Indeed," Keldorn replied absently. She was eager to join the Shadow Thieves, but now she balks when asked to do a deed any squire in the Order would undertake in a heartbeat. I cannot understand her at all.

---

Dawn was breaking over Athkatla by the time Keldorn returned to Mae'Var's guild. Renai's guild, he reminded himself, then shook his head. Well, my liege, you have set your servant on many peculiar tasks, but none as peculiar as this: helping a Child of Murder run a guild for the Shadow Thieves.

In one of the back rooms, he saw Jaheira snatch a handful of darts from Yoshimo's hand. "Best nine out of eleven," she spat, and took her place at a chalk line across the room from the dartboard. The Kozakuran bounty hunter's laugh faded as Jaheira's first shot struck the board dead center.

Keldorn climbed the stairs slowly, dreading his encounter with Renai. She would want details he was not prepared to give. He would have something to say by the time she opened her door.

When he emerged from the stairs, he entered the antechamber and went to the door that used to be Mae'Var's bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he knocked. "It's open!" Renai's muffled voice called.

Keldorn opened the door and saw Renai sorting through a wardrobe and tossing rejected items over her shoulder. "Did you figure it out yet?" she asked, then turned and saw Keldorn. "Oh, it's you. I thought you were Jaheira and Yoshimo. They're trying to decide who gets to sleep out there." She waved at the antechamber. "I'm kind of hoping Yoshimo wins because if Jaheira does, that's an end to my sleep right there. She snores," she grimaced and made her hands into claws that she waved around her ears, "like a bear."

"They're playing darts," Keldorn replied. He could think of nothing to follow up with, so he nodded. Renai nodded in return, opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. An awkward silence fell between them as they stood and nodded at each other like fools.

"Soooo," Renai said too loudly, then cleared her throat. "How's Anomen?"

"Recovering. That is, his wounds are healed." He began to nod again, but Renai's dark stare made him stop. "He was meditating when I left him."

"Is he in trouble? With your Order, I mean?"

"Of course not. Vanquishing such a foe only serves to strengthen--"

" -- Torm's glory, yes, I know." Renai kicked at the pile of clothes, boots and papers in the middle of her room, a dubious look on her face. "Sir Keldorn, how is he really?"

Keldorn tried not to remember what had happened in the morning's small hours, but he knew he could not forget. After they had battled their way into Mae'Var's guild, the party descended the stairs to the dungeon to find former guild leader waiting for them. Even with the monsters and undead Jaheira and Anomen had summoned, Mae'Var's forces very nearly overwhelmed then. But by the time Anomen had fought his way to Mae'Var and pinned him to the floor, the tide had turned. Keldorn had just dispatched his final foe when he heard the resounding thud of Anomen repeatedly pounding Mae'Var's head into the stone floor.

The small group stared in stunned silence and watched Mae'Var's skull fly apart and his blood spatter over the floor. Anomen had beaten him to death this his bare hands. Even now, hours later, the memory of Anomen's furious, haunted face sent chills down Keldorn's spine. The boy had not stopped shaking until well after he and Keldorn arrived at the Temple of Helm.

"How is he really?" Keldorn said slowly. "He was taken by the heat of the battle. Mae'Var was a despicable person who enflamed Anomen's anger. That's all. He's recovering. He'll be fine."

"Really." Renai shook her head. "Sir Keldorn, I know I don't know Anomen as well as you do, but I do know something's wrong. You said you've known him since he was a child, so you must know. And don't tell me it's the test, because that can't be all it is."

She stole the readiest answer. "Nothing is wrong," Keldorn said. "I do not think it wise to discuss this."

"Why not?"

"Because it is not our concern. It is a private matter for him." Keldorn ran his hand over his eyes and tried to find the words to make Renai understand. "If there is a problem that Anomen wishes to bring to our attention, then he will do so. If he does not, then we will respect his privacy. That is the way it is done."

Renai narrowed her eyes. "You know what's wrong. Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it's not yet your concern. If he hasn't told you ... "

"No, he hasn't given me details, but he's mentioned that he has troubles more than once. There's something there." She chewed on her lip and regarded Keldorn through narrowed eyes. "Is it his father? It is, isn't it?"

Keldorn winced. There was the question he did not want to answer. "It is not our ..."

Renai snatched a book from the pile of refuse and threw it at Keldorn's head, missing him by a fingertip. It struck the wall and fell to pieces, its pages flying from the binding to flutter around the room. "Gods damn you, old man, it is our concern!" she shouted. "Is that the way of your Order or just you damn nobles that you only care about titles and image?"

"Do not speak to me so!" The long day and night of moral and physical battle finally snapped Keldorn's patience. "You cannot accuse me of such things!"

"Can't I? Something is eating Anomen alive, and you do nothing because you don't want to shatter the idea that everything's all right. Just like you want to keep thinking of me as evil because if I'm not it shatters your notions of Bhaal! Life can't be black and white! Nothing's the way it ought to be, Sir Keldorn, nothing! Why can't you look at what's really going on and help me!"

"Don't you think I know this?" Keldorn roared. He grabbed the girl by her shoulders and shook her hard. "I have seen children handed over by their own mothers to be sacrificed to dead gods of murder! I have tried to arrest men who beat their wives nightly only to have those women attack me for taking away the men they loved. I know better than anyone how the world turns and that this is not the way it should be. But it is!"

He shook her again. "You come to me and tell me you are a Child of Bhaal and that you are not evil? I say you must prove to me that you are not! You tell me to help save Anomen from his lush of a father who is too free with his fists, and I tell you that he must be ready to be saved before I will move. I know life, young woman. It is terrible and chaotic, and only Torm's mercy gives me any sense of purpose. Who are you to judge me because of this?"

She did not answer, but Keldorn would not have heard her for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears. Only after his breathing modulated did he realize he was holding Renai by her shoulders so that her feet were dangling off the ground. "Sir Keldorn," Renai's voice shook slightly, "you're hurting me." He lowered her, and they said nothing for a long while. Finally, Renai said, "I don't judge you."

Keldorn cleared his throat. "I apologize for ..." He did not know what to apologize for.

Renai sighed. "Don't worry about that. Listen." She sat hard on the bed and leaned back on her hands. "I'm going to make another deal with you. The last one, because I don't have the time and you don't have the patience." Keldorn nodded slowly and she continued. "You get to stay with me and act as my ... shining example of good." She grinned ruefully. "I'll ask your advice, and I'll take it when I can. We won't see eye to eye all the time, but I bet we can compromise half the time. All right?"

Keldorn sat on his heels before her to look her in the eyes. "And what do you ask in return?"

"Forget that I ever told you I was a Child of Bhaal."

"I don't know if that is possible. You are what you are."

"Then pretend. Just stop worrying about the state of my soul. If I really am a Child of Bhaal, I'm doomed for the Abyss anyway. Even Torm can't stop that. But I can do what good I can while I live, if you'll just let me. I know what I'm doing here."

"So I have been told," Keldorn replied, "though the paths you take are quite unorthodox."

"It's the only way I know how. Whatever gets the job done. Whatever gets us through the night. But trust in me and I'll trust in you. All right?" Renai stuck out her hand. "So do we have a deal?"

Keldorn took her hand in his and shook it firmly. "I will try, young woman."

"Then so will I." She did not return his smile. "So what do we do for Anomen?"

That is a question I have wrestled with since the lad's birth. She asks it now and expects and answer immediately. Keldorn sighed. "Stand, watch and wait. It is all we may do until he takes us into his confidence."

Renai shook her head. "Sir Keldorn, if Anomen's father is doing what you said ..."

A knock at the door interrupted her, and Yoshimo entered before Renai could respond. "You had better come down here, meian," he said, jerking his thumb toward the staircase. "Some people have arrived, and they seem quite determined to kill Jaheira."