Enigma

I'm getting too old for this. Keldorn shifted, trying to find a comfortable sleeping spot on the hard stone floor. He gave up after a few twists and turns. Every part of his body ached from the hard day of travel and battle. Some of those bone-deep aches not even the best healer could soothe away, but at least it was dry in this underground temple. The pains were worse on rainy days.

A warm bed, a hot bath, a good meal. How many times, my lord, have I forsaken these things for your service? As usual, Torm did not answer. And as usual, Keldorn forced his mind away from the thought before it could continue to its logical conclusion: his home, his wife his family, and how long it had been since he had seen them.

Duty calls like a a siren song to the righteous man. And virtue provides its own rewards. Giving up on sleep, Keldorn threw aside his blankets and the glimmer of homesickness and sat up.

Firelight made the shadows dance on the dusty wall of the forgotten god's temple, making the place seem emptier and more desolate than it was. While Keldorn was glad that the old god had allowed them to rest within its walls, the deep, dark corners and musty smell did not help provide peaceful sleep. Judging from empty spaces by the fire, he hadn't been the only one to forgo rest tonight.

Only Renai was nearby, her blankets wrapped like a shawl around her shoulders as she sat hunched over something. "Is it your watch already?" he asked.

Parchment rustled in the young woman's hands as she moved over to make room for him at the fire. "I think the watch has been abandoned. Who can sleep in this creepy old place? Not that creepy is a bad thing!" she called out to the shadows. The god, who may or may not have been listening, did not reply, and Renai smiled a little ruefully. "Just checking. You never know," she said.

"Indeed. We know little of this god, and caution is sensible in such situations." Keldorn, now feeling a bit uneasy himself, looked over his shoulder and saw nothing. "Where has the rest of our party gone to?"

"Jaheira and Anomen are off praying." Renai pointed to two distant corners. "Yoshimo's run up top to get some more supplies. Healing potions and such. So it's just us here."

She bent again over the parchment in her lap, and in the easy silence that followed, Keldorn studied her. In the three days since he had made her acquaintance, he found much to admire in her, though he knew little about her. Here was the opportunity to remedy that.

He had been right to call her a young woman, for she was still more a girl than a woman. She was young enough to be his child, if he and Maria started their family early. And yet, she was more capable in battle than many seasoned knights he knew. She certainly has a head on her shoulders, and a pretty one at that. If I were a younger man ... Not that she compares to Maria, but still. He missed her, but the feeling was so commonplace he barely knew it was there. After this quest, what will she do? She mentioned her friend's rescue. What did the lass do to need rescuing, I wonder?

A faint blush was rising on Renai's cheeks, brought on by Keldorn's intent stare, he realized. When he cleared his throat, she looked up, relieved at the end to his scrutiny. "What have you got there? A scroll?"

She nodded and held the scroll out for him to see. "I didn't have anything to do, so I thought I'd try to figure out what kind of scroll it is."

Keldorn saw nothing except gibberish words and odd markings on the parchment, but he took it from her and pretended to examine it. "I had not realized that wizardry is one of your talents."

"It's not. I know a little but ... see here?" She pointed to a word. "That means protection, so I'm guessing it's a protection scroll of some kind, but I couldn't say that for sure. Not enough to sell it for a good price, anyway."

"Magics can be dangerous, young woman." Keldorn gingerly placed the scroll in her hands. "Be wary that you do not cast the spell by mistake."

Renai grinned. "Like I said, I know a little. I'm not a scholar or a mage, but I grew up in Candlekeep, so I read a lot. And my father knew magic, and he tried to teach it to me." She laughed then, a throaty chuckle that for a moment made Keldorn wish he was twenty years younger. "Actually, the only reason I remember this word is because of a rhyme my father made up to help Imoen and me with our lessons."

"Indeed. How does it go?" She gave him an uncertain look. "I have two daughters of my own, one of whom is hard at her studies. Perhaps it could help her as well."

The young woman grinned. "All right, all right." She sat up straight and held one in the air, pretending at a performance:

"There once was a priest from Ruathym
"Who carried a silver aspergillum
"When asked was this best,
"He replied, Id est
bonum sanguinem praesidium"

"And what was it that he said?"

"'It's a bloody good protection.' See?" And Renai pointed to the word that Keldorn assumed meant 'protection' again on the scroll.

Keldorn laughed with her, amused by the little ditty. Leona, his eldest daughter, was studying arcane languages, at least he thought she was. She had barely said a word to him the last time he was home, but then she was at that difficult age. Perhaps she would appreciate the little rhyme. Vesper, his baby, might enjoy it, too. Perhaps Renai knew more.

The snap of the parchment as Renai rolled up the scroll pulled Keldorn away from the dangerous thoughts of home. "So you are from Candlekeep, the world's greatest library," he mused. "I have always wished to visit. Tell me, young woman, what lured you from its hallowed halls?"

"That's a story that'll probably end up on the shelves there, someday." Renai stuffed the scroll into her pack. As she told her tale, she rifled through it, as if the details of her last year lay hidden somewhere in its depths.

Renai gave little embellishment to her story, making only a recitation of facts, from the death of her father to stopping the war between Baldur's Gate and Amn to the loss of her dearest friend to the mad mage Irenicus. She did not seem proud of her victories but she did mourn her losses, and there had been so many of both in her twenty-three years. When I was twenty-three ... Torm's mercy, I cannot remember twenty-three anymore. But I do not know if I would have done half as well as she had I lost as much.

When she finished, Keldorn took the young woman's hand and patted it, as much to ground himself as to comfort her. "This Irenicus," he said, "what did he want with you, or with your Imoen?"

The hand in his stiffened, and Renai studied him as intently as he had examined her before, then took a deep breath and said, "Power, I guess. There are some who think I'm a Child of Bhaal, and you see, he thinks that, too."

Child of Bhaal. Immediately Keldorn forgot about taking Renai home to Maria for a few days of mothering, forgot the admiration he had held for her just a breath before. All the memories of the Time of Troubles and before returned to him, and with them in his mind the words echoed child of bhaal child of bhaal ...

"Sir Keldorn, you're hurting me." Renai's voice shook, though Keldorn could not tell what emotion caused the quaver. He released her hand from his crushing grip. "That was a mistake," she muttered.

"A Child of Bhaal," Keldorn growled, and Renai winced as she rubbed her bruised hand. "Why did you not tell me before now?"

Renai squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye. "It tends to put a damper on introductions. 'Well met, I'm Renai, want to join my party? And by the way, I'm a daughter of the dead god of violent and ritual murders. Nice dagger.'"

When she rose and turned as if toward her weapons, Keldorn seized her wrist. "Then why tell me now?"

"Let go!" She tried to jerk her arm from his grasp and pulled him to his feet. She was much stronger than he realized, but he did not loosen his grip. But when she said through gritted teeth, "Take your hand off my arm or I'll take your hand off your arm," he released her.

For a moment, they said nothing, Renai glaring at the dirt at Keldorn's feet and Keldorn glaring at her. A Child of Bhaal! How can this be? I like her! I meant to bring her into my home, to my Maria! How is it that I did not know? Finally, Renai said, "I told you, Sir Keldorn, because I like you and I thought it wouldn't matter."

"'Wouldn't matter'?" Keldorn said. "Torm's faithful stands against everything Bhaal represents. How would you think that I could allow a disciple of murder to remain unchallenged?"

Renai brought her chin up and gave him a defiant glare. "Child doesn't mean follower. I don't murder."

"The god of murder is also the god of lies. If you are his progeny ... "

"Hey." Now he sensed something, a dark and foreboding feeling like a stain on her aura. Not evil, but dark. "I said Child of Bhaal, not Child of Cyric. I don't lie, either."

When Keldorn walked toward her, she moved away but brought her hands up to defend herself if he reached for her. He could not decide whether her uncertainty of him now pleased him. "Who else knows, then? Have you been this free with your secrets with the rest of our party, or should I consider myself fortunate?"

"Sarcasm doesn't become you," he thought he heard her say under her breath. Louder, she said, "It's not much of a secret. Most people who know it knew before I did. Even the Temple of Helm knows." Her face clouded. "Anomen doesn't know. I didn't know ... didn't think he needed to know. Why should he?"

"Why shouldn't he?" Only when his voice echoed back to him did Keldorn realize he had shouted. "You are a spawn of Bhaal, and therefore aligned with the evil of the world!"

"I thought the Tormtar preached of salvation through good works, or is all that just smoke?" When Keldorn could not reply, she grinned, more to show her teeth than to smile. "I told you, I read a lot growing up. I know the tenets of the gods. I know what Torm stands against, and I know I'm not evil."

"That cannot help you! Your soul belongs to murder!"

"But my body belongs to me! Haven't you been paying attention? I. Do. Not Murder!"

"What goes on here!" Jaheira appeared from the darkness to stand at Renai's side. "Your spat has grown so in volume that even the god's apathetic followers would be stirred," she snapped.

"I told him," Renai said to her, "and he's not taking it well."

Jaheira turned her fierce frown on Keldorn, and then on Anomen, who approached with his flail ready. "Told him what?" Anomen asked.

Keldorn pointed at Renai, as if to smite her with Torm's power. "She is a Child of Bhaal!"

Anomen stiffened, and Keldorn was glad to see him take a firmer grip on his weapon. "Is that true?" he asked Renai.

"Yes." She did not flinch, though Anomen and Jaheira did. "My mother was raped by Bhaal. I was born in the usual time afterward. So yes, I'm most likely a Child of Bhaal, but I'm definitely not a force of murder."

For the first time in her presence the sheep-like expression was absent from Anomen's face as he studied her. "She ... has been nothing but honorable, Sir Keldorn," he said slowly. "I would believe her ..."

"Then you are a fool," Keldorn growled. He immediately regretted his hasty tongue, but he could not stop. "I remember Bhaal and his foul worshipers. I know there were women who went to him willingly so that they would bear his spawn."

"I know of what you speak, Tormite, and I can tell you that Renai's mother was not one of them." Jaheira put her hand on Renai's shoulder. "I knew her. I found her after the ... afterward. Moren did not lie."

Everyone eyed one another in the silence that followed with suspicion and dread. Finally, Renai shook of Jaheira's hand and turned to her pack. "It's time to get going. We have work to do, and we've wasted enough time on this. Yoshimo can find us later."

"You will not ..." Keldorn began, but Renai turned to face him, and the darkness he sensed from her before almost suffocated him.

"I have a contract with the Temple of Helm, and I'm going to finish it!" she shouted, pounding him on the chest with her finger hard enough to hurt. "You can either help me or get the hell out of my way!"

Keldorn knocked her hand aside. "My eye is upon you, Child of Bhaal," he growled.

As she turned he heard her say, "Then you should be careful it doesn't get put out."

Jaheira and Renai retreated to the far side of the fire, packing their bags with vigor and loud whispers. Anomen, however, approached Keldorn. "You don't truly think she's evil, do you? She's ..." he swallowed hard and said, "she's helped me accomplish more in a tenday than I've been able to do alone in a year."

"Be wary, lad. No matter what she does, her father's blood will come out in her, by and by. There is little hope for one with such a heritage."

"If what you say is true, then there is no hope for me, either," Anomen said bitterly, "or did you lie when you told me that blood could not compare to duty?"

The lad did not wait for Keldorn's answer and took his place at Renai's side. And to Keldorn's great shame, he did not have an answer anyway.

---

The prelate of the Order of the Most Radiant Heart drummed his fingers on the table. "And?"

For the first time in the entire evening, Keldorn found himself unable to speak. "But Prelate," he finally manged to say, "she is a Bhaalspawn!"

"Yes, yes," the prelate sighed. "The Order has been aware of her since before her rather spectacular appearance in Waukeen's Promenade. You've been away from Athkalta for quite some time, Sir Keldorn."

"I have been away at the behest of the Order." Keldorn fought down the urge to slam his fists into the desk, if only to wipe the bored expression off the prelate's face.

If the prelate sensed Keldorn's frustrations, he did not show it. Instead he pulled a fat scroll from the case on his desk and unrolled it. "There are many such Children running about Faerun at the moment. It seems they've been popping up out of the woodwork lately. Certainly, this Renai Arengil -- Daughter of Darkness and Light, as I'm told is the translation of her name -- has been the most exceptional. Hmmm, indeed. 'Cult of the Unseeing Eye," he murmured, adding another line to the long list of accomplishments under Renai's name.

"Are you not concerned, then? Her sire was one of Torm's foulest foes, and you are ... delighting in her? If she should show any inclination to following his path..."

"The Order," the prelate said in an icy tone that told Keldorn he was very close to the end of the prelate's patience, "has taken steps. Sir Ajantis traveled with her for a short time in the autumn and has reported well of her, and the barons of Baldur's Gate have offered nothing but glowing praise for her. Be assured, Sir Keldorn, she is being watched."

"I ... speak too hastily, Prelate," Keldorn bowed his head, feeling like a man screaming into the wind. He could not see how to make his thoughts clear to the prelate. But then, he could not seem to make them clear to himself. "I offer my apologies."

"It's understandable that you would have concerns." Finally, the prelate rose from his position behind the desk and came around to take Keldorn by the shoulders. "No one fought against Bhaal and his minions more valiantly than you. And you endured far more than any of us to protect the women and children abused by them in the Time of Troubles and afterward. But tell me this, has she shown a propensity for evil? Did you sense anything while in her presence?"

And therein lie exactly the dichotomy that troubled him so, Keldorn realized. He could never have imagined a Child of Bhaal to be anything but a reflection of murder. But Renai was anything but that. She was, in fact, exactly the type of woman he hoped his daughters would someday become. And he could not understand how that was so.

"I ... sensed a darkness from her, perhaps a force or a power" he said slowly, "but then, I could have been mistaken."

"I will admit we were concerned when Squire Anomen took up company with her party." The prelate picked up an even larger scroll and unrolled it, shaking his head. "I fear he would be most easily swayed by such a malicious force, under all consideration. But he has flourished under her tutelage." He fixed his gaze upon Keldorn. "What say you, Sir Keldorn, to watching young Renai Arengil while she travels within Amn's borders? You've already made her acquaintance, and she seems to favor you. She conveyed many a compliment to us of your actions during your mission."

"She did that?" After my insults to her, she would still speak well? "I would agree, then, Prelate. She does bear watching."

He turned to leave, but the prelate called out, "A moment, Sir Keldorn. You said you had another matter to discuss."

Keldorn opened his mouth to answer, but closed it quickly. How can I ask to leave the Order now? This would be the culmination of my career, to serve as watchman over a Child of Bhaal. Maria will understand. I had not spoken of it yet to her in any regard. "That will keep for now, Prelate. Good day to you."

---

It was late when he found the little group, which was now hard at a'wassailing at the Five Flagons Inn. Keldorn peered through the crowd and spotted a laughing Renai trying to teach Anomen how to dance. Instead of his usual scowl, Anomen wore on his face a beaming smile as he stumbled through the intricate steps.

If I could say nothing else about her, I would say that she has been good for Anomen. She has shown him more kindness than he has ever known. But his prejudices of Bhaal still colored his image of her, and he could not yet say he could fully trust Renai. But he knew that he wanted to. With a deep sigh, Keldorn threaded his way through the dancing crowd and tapped Anomen on the shoulder.

Anomen's eyes widened when he turned and saw Keldorn, but he relinquished the young woman without a word. Renai gave Keldorn a suspicious glare before stepping into his arms.

"What happened," she asked, "did I short you on your share on the booty? Or are you here about the Bridge District murders, because I can assure you that I've been here in full view of everyone all night."

I deserved that. The young woman was quite light on her feet, he noticed, and it took little effort to dance with her. But he steered her off the dance floor to a quiet spot next to the bar. "I have come to apologize, young woman."

"Really." Renai's right eyebrow arched upward. "Why? You'll forgive me for being suspicious, but no one's ever tried so hard to make me feel ashamed of being what I am." Before he could answer, she remarked, "And don't worry, because you didn't quite manage it. Quite."

"I admit that I may have been mistaken." Her eyebrow came down as she narrowed her eyes. "Truly, that is all I can say. I have been an ememy of the Black Lords since even before I became one of Torm's faithful. To be confronted with one of Bhaal's follow ... er, progeny ... is a trial for me."

Renai shook her head. "I always thought that the Torm's favored were good and fair. That you would reject me solely on my parentage, " she spread her hands before her and shrugged, "you can see how it shakes what little faith that I have in the gods."

Keldorn sighed again. "You should be evil, you know. You should be the antithesis to everything that I hold dear, but you are not. I have been so sure of this one thing in my life that this shakes my faith as well."

Renai echoed his sigh. "So what do we do about it?"

"The order has asked me to travel with you, to watch both you and Anomen. I am willing if you are. And perhaps ... " He did not finish that sentence, but instead said, "I promise that I will not accuse you of murder unless you commit one."

For a long time, Renai said nothing and stared at him so intently he felt as if he were being weighed and measured. Finally, she looked past him and called to the barkeep to bring her a piece of charcoal and a scrap of parchment.

"I'm not a praying woman," she said, scrawling lines across the page, "but sometimes I do pray. Remember when I said my father -- my father Gorion -- made up rhymes to help me remember my lesson? This is the one I say to myself whenever my temper starts to run away with me. Maybe you should keep it while we travel together." The young woman handed him the scrap, then left him.

He watched her leave, then opened looked down at the paper. It read:

"Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.*

O strengthen my efforts to rule
My passions and help me to cool
Attractions to sin,
Then help me begin
Considering virtue a jewel."

Keldorn could not help but smile, his first in many hours. She does, he thought, indeed, bear watching.

---

* By St. Thomas Aquinas