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Cards Reshuffled 256


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#1 Laufey

Posted 25 June 2005 - 02:51 PM

Back home from Summer Solstice celebrations! :D Will try to catch up with reading later tonight or tomorrow.


Cards Reshuffled 256 – Parts

Normally, human bodyparts get on just fine with their jobs, doing what they’re told without causing any scenes. Of course, normally human bodyparts aren’t subjected to necromancy, especially by a necromancer who’s outright nuts. Don’t ever ask a necromancer to ‘show and tell’, unless you have a very strong stomach.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’


“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”

Valygar stared grimly into his cup of thick, black, bubbling liquid. A lovely cup of bone china it was, with decorations of roses around the rim. He was surprised the tea hadn’t eaten through it already. And just what kind of bone is it? “Thank you, no,” he said.

“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”

“Your mother said that?” Zaerini asked, and she looked rather wide-eyed.

“Maybe,” Xzar said, and then he giggled. “Or it could have been the Rabbits, I can’t remember. The Rabbits say a lot of things, did you know that their wicked master plan is to kill all men and make all women succumb to their dastardly temptations!”

“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”

“Ah…er…and how is everything else with you, Nalia?” Jaheira asked, and there was a desperate tension in her voice. “How…how have things gone with your former suitor? The one who wanted to force you into marriage with him, against your will, and to steal this Keep?”

Nalia’s smile widened a little more, and then she giggled. “Oh yes. Isaea. I’d almost forgotten about him by now.” She giggled again, and switched over to a kind of sing-song voice. “He came to viiisit…but he had so much fun he never wanted to leave! Want to see him?”

The adventurers all looked at each other. “I guess,” Zaerini eventually said. “Unless it involves digging up shallow graves to find him, or something?”

“No, no, no, no!” Xzar tittered. “No grave for Isaea, no, no. Although that sounds like a fun game…we must remember that! There could be points given for which parts you manage to find too.”

“Abduh!” Nalia said, again with that sweet smile of hers. “Please bring Isaea here, our guests want to see him.”

“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.

A big, gray, hulking figure lurched towards the door, pausing only to pick up one of its fingers as it accidentally fell off and landed on a plate of delicious cucumber sandwiches, and Valygar closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about where he was and what he was doing. A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler. Zaerini had pleaded with him not to cause a scene, and he would keep his word of course, but still…it was hard. I would gladly follow the family tradition and become a wizard this instant if it meant no more zombie tea parties.

“So, you’ll be going back to Athkatla now?” Nalia inquired.

Zaerini nodded. “Yes, we’ve promised to help Valygar with this magical sphere of his, and of course we still need to raise more money for rescuing Immy. We’re getting close, but not quite there yet. And then we… Aaagghh! What is that?”

Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.

“Isaea!” Nalia said, waving at the head. “Come meet our guests!”

“Do you like it?” Xzar asked. “It was a tricksy business reanimating him, oh yes, but I think even the Great And Powerful Old Ones couldn’t have done better, what with them having so many eyes and so few fingers for the sewing.”

“Um…charming…” Zaerini said, and she was inching backwards in her chair, while not taking her eyes off the swimming head.

“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.

“For the sake of Silvanus!” Jaheira said, and she was looking rather pale. “Will you please put that thing away, it is disgusting!”

“Yes,” Nalia admitted. “Isaea never was hugely handsome, I’m afraid. But I still think death becomes him, at least now he’s wonderfully quiet and polite.”

“Do you still need to feed him?” Jan asked, an interested expression on his face. “After all, he doesn’t have a belly any longer. Which is a rather interesting ailment to be faced with, come to think of it. It reminds me of my second-cousin Bessie Jansen who was partially minotaur, and had four bellies. You see, when she had to…”

Here, the gnome was interrupted by a tinkling sound as a cup of tea fell over, and a spoon clattered to the floor. Mazzy’s hand was racing across the table, as fast as it could go, and now it jumped onto the rim of the fishbowl, balancing precariously. It dipped one dainty finger into the water, and then startled when Isaea snapped after it.

“Aw, the poor little thingy!” Nalia exclaimed, cradling the trembling hand to her chest. “Did the mean, bad, nasty old Isaea scare you? I won’t let him hurt you, I promise!” She patted the hand reassuringly, and it settled down in the crook of her arm.

“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”

-*-

The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.

As he was getting undressed, the ranger pondered the events of the day. Spending the night at a castle inhabited by necromancers and undead was still a highly unappealing prospect, but at least young Nalia seemed to be a pleasant enough lady, all things considered. That she was not only a mage, but a mage devoted to necromancy was a hard pill to swallow. Not to mention her being involved with that…that Xzar. But that relationship, odd as it might seem, wasn’t really his business. His business lay ahead, in Athkatla, and he wouldn’t have to wait much longer now.

The Sphere. Lavok. Will I be able to finish it, at long last? Or will the last of the Corhalas fail, as all the ones before him?

A gleeful shout of ‘Look Monty, the hipbone’s connected to the legbone! I score an extra ten points!’ sounded from outside, and although Valygar suspected he really didn’t want to see what was going on, he was still unable to help himself. Xzar was leaping and cavorting all over the courtyard, carrying a shovel. Now and then he paused to dig a hole in the ground, and to pull something out of it. Nalia was walking along after him, playing a flute. The piping was shrill, annoying and highly unpleasant, and reminded Valygar of some poor animal caught in a trap. Finally there was a halfling, who was dragging his feet in a way that fairly screamed ‘sulking’. He was also dragging a cart, onto which Xzar would toss his findings. There was quite a heap of skeletal remains on it already.

No. I don’t want to know. No more necromancers, no more insanity, and above all, no more undead! Just give me one good night of uninterrupted sleep, so I’ll be prepared for Lavok in the morning.

Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.

“Oh Xzar!”

“Oh Nalia!”

“Oh Xzar!”

“Oh Nalia!”

“You drive me wild with mad desire and weird urges!”

“My darkling deadly one, the rattling of the bones in the empty halls beyond the walls of the universe grows silent with awe in your presence!”

Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit.

“Make some magic, my naughty necromancer love!”

“Anything for you, my Precioussssss! Yesss, yesss, ourssssssss forever!”

Wincing, Valygar pulled the pillow back in place, trying to shut the world, or at least the part of it containing necromancers, out. However, this proved a little hard, as within the next few seconds the world shook.

The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.

For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.

And then, the screams of terror started.


Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.
Rogues do it from behind.

#2 Arcalian

Posted 25 June 2005 - 03:46 PM

*pets the kitty*

I rather think Val's earned a few complaining sessions about magic here, nuh?

Yikes. :D
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#3 Laufey

Posted 25 June 2005 - 03:49 PM

*pets the kitty*


*purrs!* :twisted:

I rather think Val's earned a few complaining sessions about magic here, nuh?


Yikes. :D


Of course he has. :twisted: Poor man...but he'll be all right.
Rogues do it from behind.

#4 Guest_RickTaylor_*

Posted 25 June 2005 - 04:18 PM

Back home from Summer Solstice celebrations! :twisted: Will try to catch up with reading later tonight or tomorrow.

Welcome back, Laufey! Hope you had a good celebration.


“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”

Clarisse:
You know that’s not a bad I idea. I always find a nice hot cup of tea calms my nerves.


Valygar stared grimly into his cup of thick, black, bubbling liquid. A lovely cup of bone china it was, with decorations of roses around the rim. He was surprised the tea hadn’t eaten through it already. And just what kind of bone is it? “Thank you, no,” he said.

Clarisse:
(*blinks*) Well.... almost always.


“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”

Clarisse:
(nervously) Ummmmm, exactly whose liver are we speaking of here?


“Maybe,” Xzar said, and then he giggled. “Or it could have been the Rabbits, I can’t remember. The Rabbits say a lot of things, did you know that their wicked master plan is to kill all men and make all women succumb to their dastardly temptations!”

Clarisse:
You know I’m rather grateful this isn’t actually my story.


“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?

Clarisse:
Honestly, sir, I think you’re showing admirable restraint given the circumstances.


“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”

Clarisse:
Oh dear! I think this is as far as I’m reading.


“Ah…er…and how is everything else with you, Nalia?” Jaheira asked, and there was a desperate tension in her voice. “How…how have things gone with your former suitor? The one who wanted to force you into marriage with him, against your will, and to steal this Keep?”

Ummm, Jaheira? Why are you bringing this up now? It’s not as though the answer is going to make you happy.


Nalia’s smile widened a little more, and then she giggled. “Oh yes. Isaea. I’d almost forgotten about him by now.” She giggled again, and switched over to a kind of sing-song voice. “He came to viiisit…but he had so much fun he never wanted to leave! Want to see him?”

SAY NO! SAY NOOOOOOOO!


The adventurers all looked at each other. “I guess,” Zaerini eventually said. “Unless it involves digging up shallow graves to find him, or something?”

(*sigh*) Well I did try to warn them.


“No, no, no, no!” Xzar tittered. “No grave for Isaea, no, no. Although that sounds like a fun game…we must remember that! There could be points given for which parts you manage to find too.”

Or you could play pin the tail on the donkey.


“Abduh!” Nalia said, again with that sweet smile of hers. “Please bring Isaea here, our guests want to see him.”

“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.

Valygar, your self-restraint is a wonder to behold. I hope Edwin and Rini are both studying you carefully and taking copious notes.


Zaerini nodded. “Yes, we’ve promised to help Valygar with this magical sphere of his, and of course we still need to raise more money for rescuing Immy. We’re getting close, but not quite there yet. And then we… Aaagghh! What is that?”

(*sigh*) Well, you did ask...


Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.

Ummmmmm, could we go home now, please?


“Um…charming…” Zaerini said, and she was inching backwards in her chair, while not taking her eyes off the swimming head.

Where are your manners, Rini? Say hello to the nice head in the fishbowl.


“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.

Well I guess not everyone is badly fazed by this development.


“For the sake of Silvanus!” Jaheira said, and she was looking rather pale. “Will you please put that thing away, it is disgusting!”

Ummmmm, Jaheira? You were the one who brought up Isaea in the first place.


“Do you still need to feed him?” Jan asked, an interested expression on his face. “After all, he doesn’t have a belly any longer. Which is a rather interesting ailment to be faced with, come to think of it. It reminds me of my second-cousin Bessie Jansen who was partially minotaur, and had four bellies. You see, when she had to…”

Looks like Edwin isn’t the only one taking this in stride.


Here, the gnome was interrupted by a tinkling sound as a cup of tea fell over, and a spoon clattered to the floor. Mazzy’s hand was racing across the table, as fast as it could go, and now it jumped onto the rim of the fishbowl, balancing precariously. It dipped one dainty finger into the water, and then startled when Isaea snapped after it.

:D I guess Isaea hasn’t lost his winning personality.


“Aw, the poor little thingy!” Nalia exclaimed, cradling the trembling hand to her chest. “Did the mean, bad, nasty old Isaea scare you? I won’t let him hurt you, I promise!” She patted the hand reassuringly, and it settled down in the crook of her arm.

Awwwwww. She’s even nicer than Valygar.


“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”

So they did have a good reason for stopping here after all. :twisted:

By the way, what's become of Anomen? He's been awfully quiet.


The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.

Hmmmmmm. You’ve taken good precautions, Valygar. I can’t imagine what could go wrong, but I just don’t trust your scribe to leave you in peace.


As he was getting undressed, the ranger pondered the events of the day. Spending the night at a castle inhabited by necromancers and undead was still a highly unappealing prospect, but at least young Nalia seemed to be a pleasant enough lady, all things considered. That she was not only a mage, but a mage devoted to necromancy was a hard pill to swallow.

Given what happened to his mother, this can’t be easy for him.


A gleeful shout of ‘Look Monty, the hipbone’s connected to the legbone! I score an extra ten points!’ sounded from outside, and although Valygar suspected he really didn’t want to see what was going on, he was still unable to help himself.

Ahhh! I was beginning to wonder what happened to Montaron! Of course he wouldn’t be fond of social events.


Xzar was leaping and cavorting all over the courtyard, carrying a shovel. Now and then he paused to dig a hole in the ground, and to pull something out of it. Nalia was walking along after him, playing a flute. The piping was shrill, annoying and highly unpleasant, and reminded Valygar of some poor animal caught in a trap. Finally there was a halfling, who was dragging his feet in a way that fairly screamed ‘sulking’.

Given what they’re probably up to, I can’t really blame Montaron for dragging his feet.


No. I don’t want to know. No more necromancers, no more insanity, and above all, no more undead! Just give me one good night of uninterrupted sleep, so I’ll be prepared for Lavok in the morning.

(*Looks at Valygar, admiring him for his marvelous self-discipline*)


Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.

Oh well, it’s not as though you were going to sleep soundly anyway, Valygar..


Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit.

Sorry, Valygar, but your scribe has no mercy whatsoever.


“Make some magic, my naughty necromancer love!”

“Anything for you, my Precioussssss! Yesss, yesss, ourssssssss forever!”

See? :twisted:


For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.

And then, the screams of terror started.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?


Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.

Out of the fire and into the frying pan!

--Rick Taylor

#5 Laufey

Posted 25 June 2005 - 04:34 PM

[quote][quote]Back home from Summer Solstice celebrations! :twisted: Will try to catch up with reading later tonight or tomorrow.
[/quote]
Welcome back, Laufey! Hope you had a good celebration.
[/quote]

Thanks, I sure did. :twisted:

[quote]
[quote]“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”
[/quote]
Clarisse:
You know that’s not a bad I idea. I always find a nice hot cup of tea calms my nerves.
[/quote]

Mostly, yes. Perhaps not this time though.


[quote]
[quote]“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”
[/quote]
Clarisse:
(nervously) Ummmmm, exactly whose liver are we speaking of here?
[/quote]

Er...I think we'd better not go into that.


[quote]
[quote]“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this? [/quote]
Clarisse:
Honestly, sir, I think you’re showing admirable restraint given the circumstances.
[/quote]

He sure is! :shock:

[quote]
[quote]“Ah…er…and how is everything else with you, Nalia?” Jaheira asked, and there was a desperate tension in her voice. “How…how have things gone with your former suitor? The one who wanted to force you into marriage with him, against your will, and to steal this Keep?”
[/quote]
Ummm, Jaheira? Why are you bringing this up now? It’s not as though the answer is going to make you happy.
[/quote]

She's just desperate to change the subject, and this was the first thing that popped into her head.


[quote]
“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.
[/quote]
Valygar, your self-restraint is a wonder to behold. I hope Edwin and Rini are both studying you carefully and taking copious notes.
[/quote]

He's doing very well. :twisted:

[quote]
[quote]Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.
[/quote]
Ummmmmm, could we go home now, please?
[/quote]

Soon. :twisted:


[quote]
[quote]“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.
[/quote]
Well I guess not everyone is badly fazed by this development.
[/quote]

Edwin grew up with a Necromancer mother, after all.


[quote]
[quote]“Do you still need to feed him?” Jan asked, an interested expression on his face. “After all, he doesn’t have a belly any longer. Which is a rather interesting ailment to be faced with, come to think of it. It reminds me of my second-cousin Bessie Jansen who was partially minotaur, and had four bellies. You see, when she had to…”
[/quote]
And I guess Edwin isn’t the only one taking this in stride.
[/quote]

Hardly anything fazes Jan, after all. :twisted:


[quote]
[quote]Here, the gnome was interrupted by a tinkling sound as a cup of tea fell over, and a spoon clattered to the floor. Mazzy’s hand was racing across the table, as fast as it could go, and now it jumped onto the rim of the fishbowl, balancing precariously. It dipped one dainty finger into the water, and then startled when Isaea snapped after it.
[/quote]
:twisted: Looks like Isaea hasn’t lost his winning personality.
[/quote]

:twisted:

[quote]
[quote]“Aw, the poor little thingy!” Nalia exclaimed, cradling the trembling hand to her chest. “Did the mean, bad, nasty old Isaea scare you? I won’t let him hurt you, I promise!” She patted the hand reassuringly, and it settled down in the crook of her arm.
[/quote]
Awwwwww. She’s even nicer than Valygar.
[/quote]

Yeah, Necromancer or not, she's still got a good heart. :shock:



[quote]
[quote]“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”
[/quote]
So they did have a good reason for stopping here after all. :shock:
[/quote]

[quote]
By the way, what's become of Anomen? He's been awfully quiet.
[/quote]

You're right...he's there of course, but I guess I just forgot to give him any lines. Perhaps I could add something in.



[quote]
[quote]The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.
[/quote]
Hmmmmmm. You’ve taken good precautions, Valygar. I can’t imagine what could go wrong, but I just don’t trust your scribe to leave you in peace.
[/quote]

:D :twisted: :twisted:


[quote]
[quote]
As he was getting undressed, the ranger pondered the events of the day. Spending the night at a castle inhabited by necromancers and undead was still a highly unappealing prospect, but at least young Nalia seemed to be a pleasant enough lady, all things considered. That she was not only a mage, but a mage devoted to necromancy was a hard pill to swallow.[/quote]
Given what happened to his mother, this can’t be easy for him.
[/quote]

No, not at all, so his restraint is even more admirable.


[quote]
[quote]Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit.
[/quote]
Sorry, Valygar, but your scribe has no mercy whatsoever.
[/quote]

Absolutely none! :shock:


[quote]
[quote]Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.[/quote]
Out of the fire and into the frying pan!
[/quote]

[quote]
--Rick Taylor[/quote]

Just so! :shock:
Rogues do it from behind.

#6 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 25 June 2005 - 04:55 PM

“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”

Valygar stared grimly into his cup of thick, black, bubbling liquid. A lovely cup of bone china it was, with decorations of roses around the rim. He was surprised the tea hadn’t eaten through it already. And just what kind of bone is it? “Thank you, no,” he said.


:twisted: I love the ladylike behavior and situation coupled with the disgust at the necromancy and the uncertainty of where things came from...what kind of bone is this...is this really tea? If so, what did they do to it? It's fun. :shock:

“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”


:twisted: Gosh, I wish my parents would have told me that!

“Ah…er…and how is everything else with you, Nalia?” Jaheira asked, and there was a desperate tension in her voice. “How…how have things gone with your former suitor? The one who wanted to force you into marriage with him, against your will, and to steal this Keep?”


Uh-oh, you asked for it!

“No, no, no, no!” Xzar tittered. “No grave for Isaea, no, no. Although that sounds like a fun game…we must remember that! There could be points given for which parts you manage to find too.”


Lol. Necromantic scrabble, then. :twisted:

“Abduh!” Nalia said, again with that sweet smile of hers. “Please bring Isaea here, our guests want to see him.”


At this point, I was picturing a collage of flattened dried organs myself, though you brought out something worse...since he's still awake!

“Do you like it?” Xzar asked. “It was a tricksy business reanimating him, oh yes, but I think even the Great And Powerful Old Ones couldn’t have done better, what with them having so many eyes and so few fingers for the sewing.”


I'm sure it was a labor of love, Xzar. :shock: I'm impressed.

“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.


Tapping on the glass! Just like a little boy!

“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”


Yay, the hand finds a home! :twisted:

The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.


You only think you're safe... :D

A gleeful shout of ‘Look Monty, the hipbone’s connected to the legbone! I score an extra ten points!’ sounded from outside, and although Valygar suspected he really didn’t want to see what was going on, he was still unable to help himself. Xzar was leaping and cavorting all over the courtyard, carrying a shovel. Now and then he paused to dig a hole in the ground, and to pull something out of it. Nalia was walking along after him, playing a flute. The piping was shrill, annoying and highly unpleasant, and reminded Valygar of some poor animal caught in a trap. Finally there was a halfling, who was dragging his feet in a way that fairly screamed ‘sulking’. He was also dragging a cart, onto which Xzar would toss his findings. There was quite a heap of skeletal remains on it already.


:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: At least they are having fun!

Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit.


:twisted: That's the problem with being godless, you have to appeal to the sense of the universe or forces that have no feelings on the matter.

“Make some magic, my naughty necromancer love!”

“Anything for you, my Precioussssss! Yesss, yesss, ourssssssss forever!”

Wincing, Valygar pulled the pillow back in place, trying to shut the world, or at least the part of it containing necromancers, out. However, this proved a little hard, as within the next few seconds the world shook.


Poor Valygar! He just can't win!

The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.

For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.

And then, the screams of terror started.


:shock: That doesn't sound...good...is he screaming? Who's screaming?

Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.


:twisted: Poor Dekaras.

#7 Guest_Wyvern_*

Posted 25 June 2005 - 05:58 PM

“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”

Such a nice, genteel image. :D

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”

did Nalia just say she's ... tempted ... by rabbits :twisted:

Nalia’s smile widened a little more, and then she giggled. “Oh yes. Isaea. I’d almost forgotten about him by now.” She giggled again, and switched over to a kind of sing-song voice. “He came to viiisit…but he had so much fun he never wanted to leave! Want to see him?”

No, no, I don't think that's a good idea.

“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.

Poor Valygar, he's probably wondering why he ever left his cosy cabin in the woods.

Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.

I find that image disturbingly cute. :twisted:

Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.

Poor Valygar :twisted:

Wincing, Valygar pulled the pillow back in place, trying to shut the world, or at least the part of it containing necromancers, out. However, this proved a little hard, as within the next few seconds the world shook.

Don't tell me the earth *actually* moved :twisted:

For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.

And then, the screams of terror started.

Oh dear, what happened to Valygar now?

#8 Laufey

Posted 25 June 2005 - 06:25 PM

[quote]
Valygar stared grimly into his cup of thick, black, bubbling liquid. A lovely cup of bone china it was, with decorations of roses around the rim. He was surprised the tea hadn’t eaten through it already. And just what kind of bone is it? “Thank you, no,” he said. [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
:twisted: I love the ladylike behavior and situation coupled with the disgust at the necromancy and the uncertainty of where things came from...what kind of bone is this...is this really tea? If so, what did they do to it? It's fun. :shock:
[/quote]

Thanks! :twisted: Yes, Nalia is still very much a noblewoman, and concerned wtih proper behavior, no matter how odd her surroundings are.


[quote]
[quote]“No, no, no, no!” Xzar tittered. “No grave for Isaea, no, no. Although that sounds like a fun game…we must remember that! There could be points given for which parts you manage to find too.” [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Lol. Necromantic scrabble, then. :twisted:
[/quote]

Something like that. :twisted:

[quote]
[quote]“Abduh!” Nalia said, again with that sweet smile of hers. “Please bring Isaea here, our guests want to see him.” [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
At this point, I was picturing a collage of flattened dried organs myself, though you brought out something worse...since he's still awake!
[/quote]

I like your idea too, not bad at all!

[quote]
[quote]“Do you like it?” Xzar asked. “It was a tricksy business reanimating him, oh yes, but I think even the Great And Powerful Old Ones couldn’t have done better, what with them having so many eyes and so few fingers for the sewing.” [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
I'm sure it was a labor of love, Xzar. :shock: I'm impressed.
[/quote]

It really was. :shock:

[quote]
[quote]“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth. [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Tapping on the glass! Just like a little boy!
[/quote]

I don't think Edwin will ever *quite* grow up, and I adore him for it. :twisted:

[quote]
[quote]“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…” [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Yay, the hand finds a home! :twisted:
[/quote]

And a good one too, Thingy will be happy and well cared for.


[quote]
[quote]Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit. [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
:twisted: That's the problem with being godless, you have to appeal to the sense of the universe or forces that have no feelings on the matter.
[/quote]

Which really doesn't feel as reassuring!


[quote]
For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.
[/quote]

[quote]
And then, the screams of terror started. [/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
:twisted: That doesn't sound...good...is he screaming? Who's screaming?
[/quote]

It's not Valygar screaming, and you'll find out all about this soon.

[quote]
[quote]Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
:twisted: Poor Dekaras.[/quote]

I know, I'm just cruel to him. :D
Rogues do it from behind.

#9 Laufey

Posted 25 June 2005 - 06:27 PM

“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”

Such a nice, genteel image. :D


Necromancer or not, Nalia will always be a lady!

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”

did Nalia just say she's ... tempted ... by rabbits :twisted:


There is a hidden joke here, but I can't really explain it without heading into X-rated stuff.


“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.

Poor Valygar, he's probably wondering why he ever left his cosy cabin in the woods.


And not for the last time!

Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.

I find that image disturbingly cute. :twisted:


So do I, actually. :twisted: He's far nicer this way.


Wincing, Valygar pulled the pillow back in place, trying to shut the world, or at least the part of it containing necromancers, out. However, this proved a little hard, as within the next few seconds the world shook.

Don't tell me the earth *actually* moved :twisted:


Sort of. There's a reason for it though.

For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.


And then, the screams of terror started.

Oh dear, what happened to Valygar now?


Not to him...you'll find out soon.
Rogues do it from behind.

#10 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 25 June 2005 - 06:55 PM

“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”


Xzar’s Mommy was pretty good with motivating others. :twisted:

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”


I get the feeling it’s something that I *really* don’t want to know. :twisted:

“Ah…er…and how is everything else with you, Nalia?” Jaheira asked, and there was a desperate tension in her voice. “How…how have things gone with your former suitor? The one who wanted to force you into marriage with him, against your will, and to steal this Keep?”


I agree, a change of topic was necessary – I don’t care what this brings on! :twisted:

A big, gray, hulking figure lurched towards the door, pausing only to pick up one of its fingers as it accidentally fell off and landed on a plate of delicious cucumber sandwiches, and Valygar closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about where he was and what he was doing. A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler. Zaerini had pleaded with him not to cause a scene, and he would keep his word of course, but still…it was hard. I would gladly follow the family tradition and become a wizard this instant if it meant no more zombie tea parties.


:shock: I bet this is far, far worse than he actually imagined it. Poor man. :twisted:

Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.


LOL! Hey, that’s pretty cute! Funny how *everyone* improves in this story, isn’t it? :D

“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.


Not really practical, either, from the adventurer’s point of view. I mean, what could you do with a summon like that. The sahuagin would just use it as hors d'oeuvres, too. :twisted:

“For the sake of Silvanus!” Jaheira said, and she was looking rather pale. “Will you please put that thing away, it is disgusting!”


Well, you *did* ask. :twisted: And maybe it was better than learning some intimate details about Nalia’s relationship with Xzar. And the Rabbits.

“Yes,” Nalia admitted. “Isaea never was hugely handsome, I’m afraid. But I still think death becomes him, at least now he’s wonderfully quiet and polite.”


Come to think of it, a great many people could improve that way, no? :twisted:

“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”


Pfew, I’m glad that’s the end of that particular piece of madness! :twisted:

The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.


:shock: I rather think everyone of them did that.

Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.


“Oh Xzar!”


“Oh Nalia!”


Eeeek! Somehow that thought of Xzar and Nalia making out makes me a little ill. :shock:

The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.


Let me guess, someone downstairs just had an evilgasm. :twisted:

And then, the screams of terror started.


Like I said, he would have been 1) safer and 2) happier out in the woods.

Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.


Aww, but he’s only in clutches of a mysterious vampire, while being at 1HP. But of course we all assumed that he is safe. :shock:

#11 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 26 June 2005 - 01:19 AM

Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?


Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Hell, yes.

:D

She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”


Harlequin: "This is just wrong."

Cipher: "You're telling me."

A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler.


Sounds like the Addams family.

“Yes,” Nalia admitted. “Isaea never was hugely handsome, I’m afraid. But I still think death becomes him, at least now he’s wonderfully quiet and polite.”


Exactly when and how did Nalia go nuts?

“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”


Yep. Definitely an Addams Family vibe going here.

‘Look Monty, the hipbone’s connected to the legbone! I score an extra ten points!’


Peter Griffin: "Let's play Operation!"

(Cue flashback)

Chris Griffin: "I'm going for the funny bone, Dad!" (Prods an unconscious homeless person lying on the coffee table)

Peter Griffin: "Oh crap, he's waking up... quick, we'd better get him back to the bus station..."

Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop.


I'll admit, the idea of a naked Nalia is just... it's just neat... :twisted:

But -this- is just WRONG. :twisted:

#12 Guest_Userunfriendly_*

Posted 26 June 2005 - 02:47 AM

Back home from Summer Solstice celebrations! :) Will try to catch up with reading later tonight or tomorrow.


what kind of summer solstice celebrations? :shock: :shock: :shock: :D

Normally, human bodyparts get on just fine with their jobs, doing what they’re told without causing any scenes. Of course, normally human bodyparts aren’t subjected to necromancy, especially by a necromancer who’s outright nuts. Don’t ever ask a necromancer to ‘show and tell’, unless you have a very strong stomach.


I can just imagine nalia's and xzar's kid causing his entire grade school class to projectile vomit...and make his teacher pass out cold.. :shock:

“More tea?” Nalia asked, smiling sweetly. “It’s Auntie Delcia’s special kind.”


nalia: its made from aunt delcia... :shock:

Valygar stared grimly into his cup of thick, black, bubbling liquid. A lovely cup of bone china it was, with decorations of roses around the rim. He was surprised the tea hadn’t eaten through it already. And just what kind of bone is it? “Thank you, no,” he said.


well, it is bone china...

http://home.howstuff....com/lenox1.htm

:shock: :shock: :shock: who's bone is it? :shock:

“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”


that's a lot more convincing than the starving children of ethopia that other mothers use..

“Maybe,” Xzar said, and then he giggled. “Or it could have been the Rabbits, I can’t remember. The Rabbits say a lot of things, did you know that their wicked master plan is to kill all men and make all women succumb to their dastardly temptations!”


in chinese mythology, the rabbit is suppose to be the worst sexual pervert ever...cause of all the little bunnies every summer... :twisted:

“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?


I've always had my suspicions... :twisted:

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”


...ears... :twisted:

The adventurers all looked at each other. “I guess,” Zaerini eventually said. “Unless it involves digging up shallow graves to find him, or something?”


its that addam's family game, dig up the dead... :twisted:

“No, no, no, no!” Xzar tittered. “No grave for Isaea, no, no. Although that sounds like a fun game…we must remember that! There could be points given for which parts you manage to find too.”


I keep wondering with horror how they play Parcheesi... :shock:

A big, gray, hulking figure lurched towards the door, pausing only to pick up one of its fingers as it accidentally fell off and landed on a plate of delicious cucumber sandwiches, and Valygar closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about where he was and what he was doing. A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler. Zaerini had pleaded with him not to cause a scene, and he would keep his word of course, but still…it was hard. I would gladly follow the family tradition and become a wizard this instant if it meant no more zombie tea parties.


cucumber sandwiches...yummm....they're delicious...

Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.


ever seen "The Brain that would not Die", or "They Saved Hitler's Brain"??? in both movies, they kept the heads alive.. :shock: :shock: :shock:

“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.


Elvira: EDWIN!!! Didn't I teach you better manners than that!!! Don't tap other people's pickled heads without asking permission first!!!

“Do you still need to feed him?” Jan asked, an interested expression on his face. “After all, he doesn’t have a belly any longer. Which is a rather interesting ailment to be faced with, come to think of it. It reminds me of my second-cousin Bessie Jansen who was partially minotaur, and had four bellies. You see, when she had to…”


chew her cud... :twisted:

“Aw, the poor little thingy!” Nalia exclaimed, cradling the trembling hand to her chest. “Did the mean, bad, nasty old Isaea scare you? I won’t let him hurt you, I promise!” She patted the hand reassuringly, and it settled down in the crook of her arm.


:shock: :shock: :shock:

Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.


:oops: :shock: :shock: do you have any idea just how disturbing your nalia and xzar are??? :P

Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop. He wasn’t praying to any god of course. No, just…just asking the universe in general. Just in case it might listen, in a thoroughly disincarnate and godless fashion. Please? Tentatively, he raised the pillow a bit.


:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.


I see xzar has been playing around with tantric wild magic... :twisted: :P

For a moment, Valygar simply lay there, clutching his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t glowing any longer, and all was silent above.


And then, the screams of terror started.


another trademarked laufey cliffhanger...

Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.


no, of course not...Yay!!! :wink: :wink: :wink:

#13 Laufey

Posted 26 June 2005 - 10:57 AM

Back home from Summer Solstice celebrations! :) Will try to catch up with reading later tonight or tomorrow.


what kind of summer solstice celebrations? :( :( :D :evil:


Just the regular kind - it's one of the biggest holidays of the year here. :)


Normally, human bodyparts get on just fine with their jobs, doing what they’re told without causing any scenes. Of course, normally human bodyparts aren’t subjected to necromancy, especially by a necromancer who’s outright nuts. Don’t ever ask a necromancer to ‘show and tell’, unless you have a very strong stomach.


I can just imagine nalia's and xzar's kid causing his entire grade school class to projectile vomit...and make his teacher pass out cold.. :)


Oh yes, absolutely! :D

well, it is bone china...


http://home.howstuffworks.com/lenox1.htm


:) :) :) who's bone is it? :)


:x


“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”


that's a lot more convincing than the starving children of ethopia that other mothers use..


I rather like it myself!


“Maybe,” Xzar said, and then he giggled. “Or it could have been the Rabbits, I can’t remember. The Rabbits say a lot of things, did you know that their wicked master plan is to kill all men and make all women succumb to their dastardly temptations!”


in chinese mythology, the rabbit is suppose to be the worst sexual pervert ever...cause of all the little bunnies every summer... :x


It makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? ;)


“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?


I've always had my suspicions... :(


Poor Val. :)



The adventurers all looked at each other. “I guess,” Zaerini eventually said. “Unless it involves digging up shallow graves to find him, or something?”


its that addam's family game, dig up the dead... :)


Yes! :D I'm glad somebody caught the reference here.



Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.


ever seen "The Brain that would not Die", or "They Saved Hitler's Brain"??? in both movies, they kept the heads alive.. :) :) :)


Haven't seen them, but I can guess! :)


“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.


Elvira: EDWIN!!! Didn't I teach you better manners than that!!! Don't tap other people's pickled heads without asking permission first!!!


:lol:


“Do you still need to feed him?” Jan asked, an interested expression on his face. “After all, he doesn’t have a belly any longer. Which is a rather interesting ailment to be faced with, come to think of it. It reminds me of my second-cousin Bessie Jansen who was partially minotaur, and had four bellies. You see, when she had to…”


chew her cud... :)


Yep. :D



Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.


:D 8) :D do you have any idea just how disturbing your nalia and xzar are??? :P


Hey, I think they're a cute couple! ;)



The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.


I see xzar has been playing around with tantric wild magic... :? :P


You'll find out exactly what he did later. ;)



Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.


no, of course not...Yay!!! :D :D :wink:


:wink:
Rogues do it from behind.

#14 Laufey

Posted 26 June 2005 - 11:02 AM

Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?


Short answer: Yes.


Long answer: Hell, yes.


:evil:


Poor Val. :?

She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”


Harlequin: "This is just wrong."


Cipher: "You're telling me."


Well, *you* are a boy - I wouldn't expect you to understand. :x

A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler.


Sounds like the Addams family.


Oh yes! :)

“Yes,” Nalia admitted. “Isaea never was hugely handsome, I’m afraid. But I still think death becomes him, at least now he’s wonderfully quiet and polite.”


Exactly when and how did Nalia go nuts?


She's not exactly nuts, just very, very much in love, and determined to be the best necromancer she can possibly be. And when Nalia decides to be the best at something, she really goes in for it.

“Er, Nalia?” Zaerini said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make you a suggestion. See, the ‘Thingy’ here could really use a new home…”


Yep. Definitely an Addams Family vibe going here.


That's it. :x


Then there were other, rather less articulate noises. Valygar groaned, and put his pillow over his head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop.


I'll admit, the idea of a naked Nalia is just... it's just neat... :(


But -this- is just WRONG. :)


Hmpf, I *still* think they're a cute couple, so there. :(
Rogues do it from behind.

#15 Laufey

Posted 26 June 2005 - 11:05 AM

“But you’ve hardly had anything!” Xzar protested. The tattooed necromancer was sitting next to Nalia on a puffy red loveseat, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. “Look, you’ve barely touched the liver patty, and Mommy always used to say that if you don’t finish what’s on your plate, then the daisy-shaped tentacled beasts from the Great Beyond will come creeping out from under your bed, and the noises they make will be as those of a thousand souls screaming in agony!”


Xzar’s Mommy was pretty good with motivating others. :(


It would have worked on me, that's for sure!

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”


I get the feeling it’s something that I *really* don’t want to know. :)


It's a girl thing. :evil:


A big, gray, hulking figure lurched towards the door, pausing only to pick up one of its fingers as it accidentally fell off and landed on a plate of delicious cucumber sandwiches, and Valygar closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about where he was and what he was doing. A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler. Zaerini had pleaded with him not to cause a scene, and he would keep his word of course, but still…it was hard. I would gladly follow the family tradition and become a wizard this instant if it meant no more zombie tea parties.


:) I bet this is far, far worse than he actually imagined it. Poor man. :(


I don't think *anybody* could imagine this household in advance! Well, except for me...


Abduh had returned, bearing a round glass fishbowl. And inside the bowl was a severed head, looking out through the glass with blank eyes as it used its own ears to propel itself around in circles.


LOL! Hey, that’s pretty cute! Funny how *everyone* improves in this story, isn’t it? :x


*innocent and virtuous look* I *like* improving people. :x

“Not too shabby, I suppose,” Edwin admitted. “Although I prefer conjured creatures myself, they don’t drip unsightly fluids all over the carpets, unlike the undead.” He reached out his hand to tap on the glass. The head startled, then paddled backwards, a stream of bubbles emerging from its mouth.


Not really practical, either, from the adventurer’s point of view. I mean, what could you do with a summon like that. The sahuagin would just use it as hors d'oeuvres, too. :D


Yeah, it's just a pet, really. :)

“For the sake of Silvanus!” Jaheira said, and she was looking rather pale. “Will you please put that thing away, it is disgusting!”


Well, you *did* ask. :) And maybe it was better than learning some intimate details about Nalia’s relationship with Xzar. And the Rabbits.


As I said...it's a girl thing. :(

“Yes,” Nalia admitted. “Isaea never was hugely handsome, I’m afraid. But I still think death becomes him, at least now he’s wonderfully quiet and polite.”


Come to think of it, a great many people could improve that way, no? :)


Oh, absolutely! :)


The sun eventually set, and so Valygar had an excellent excuse for retiring to his room, which he did as soon as he possibly could. It was a surprisingly normal room, given the inhabitants of the castle. Situated in one of the keep’s towers, it had a somewhat narrow, but soft and freshly made bed, a table and a pair of armchairs, and a chest of drawers. All of the furniture was of good quality, if old, and there was a refreshing absence of ghosts, goblins or undead. Especially undead. He had searched the room to make certain of that, even gone as far as looking under the bed.


:) I rather think everyone of them did that.


8)


“Oh Xzar!”


“Oh Nalia!”


Eeeek! Somehow that thought of Xzar and Nalia making out makes me a little ill. :)



*Still* think they're a cute couple, so there. :)

The ceiling above started glowing with pink magical light; there was the sensation of all noises slowing down into long, rubbery groans, and Valygar’s stomach lurched violently, caught as he was on the very fringe of the spell. There was a pressure building behind his eyes, as if something was trying to burst out of his skull, and his skin suddenly felt too small to contain him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the sensation subsided, leaving behind only a faint tingling in his skin.


Let me guess, someone downstairs just had an evilgasm. :?


Not exactly...you'll see.


And then, the screams of terror started.


Like I said, he would have been 1) safer and 2) happier out in the woods.


But that wouldn't be as much fun! :D


Next: Dekaras may be out of Aerie's clutches for now, but that doesn't mean he's in any way safe.


Aww, but he’s only in clutches of a mysterious vampire, while being at 1HP. But of course we all assumed that he is safe. :D


:)
Rogues do it from behind.

#16 Guest_Shian_*

Posted 26 June 2005 - 02:00 PM

“Rabbits?” Valygar asked. He didn’t really want to know, but he was unable to help himself. Could this madman possibly be related to Jan? He’s taller of course…are there such things as half-gnomes? Am I going insane myself to even be thinking this?

LOL!

“Oh yes!” Nalia enthusiastically exclaimed. She smiled, a broad, dreaming smile. “Rabbits are ever so good at that sort of thing…it’s the fuzzy ears, you see.” She giggled, and gave her lover a long kiss on the lips. “Good thing Xzar is just as good with his…”

:evil:

“Urrrrrrghhh!” A deep, somehow dripping voice said from right behind Valygar’s chair, and he had to carefully focus on setting the teacup down in order to not reach for his katana right there and then.

A big, gray, hulking figure lurched towards the door, pausing only to pick up one of its fingers as it accidentally fell off and landed on a plate of delicious cucumber sandwiches, and Valygar closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about where he was and what he was doing. A zombie butler. I’m having tea with two necromancers and their zombie butler. Zaerini had pleaded with him not to cause a scene, and he would keep his word of course, but still…it was hard. I would gladly follow the family tradition and become a wizard this instant if it meant no more zombie tea parties.

I can just see Valygar twitching…

Two hours later, Valygar was still tossing and turning, trying to catch as much as a moment’s sleep. It turned out that the bedroom of his hosts was situated directly above him. It also turned out that the hunt for buried bodyparts had made them rather…frisky. You wouldn’t have thought it from looking at Xzar, but the man was apparently very tenacious. Valygar ground his teeth together as the noises began again.

Awww! Poor Valygar!!

#17 Guest_Blade_*

Posted 26 June 2005 - 02:39 PM

LOL!! now all you need a Man eater plant of sorts and pet lion. :evil:
great chapter hehe

#18 Guest_Futurist_*

Posted 26 June 2005 - 03:50 PM

Oh dear lord.. I`m laughing so much I can barley sit up straight in the chair.

Great chapter and poor, poor Valygar.

#19 Laufey

Posted 26 June 2005 - 04:22 PM

LOL!! now all you need a Man eater plant of sorts and pet lion. :x
great chapter hehe


Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. :evil:
Rogues do it from behind.

#20 Laufey

Posted 26 June 2005 - 04:23 PM

Oh dear lord.. I`m laughing so much I can barley sit up straight in the chair.


Great chapter and poor, poor Valygar.


Happy you liked it! :x And yes, poor, poor Valygar. :evil:
Rogues do it from behind.




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