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#21 Guest_RickTaylor_*

Posted 31 May 2005 - 07:37 PM

I'm posting this early, since I'll be away for some days. Will be back in the beginning of next week.

Hi Laufey! I’m just back from a memorial day weekend trip; it’s great to see another chapter of the cards.

Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.

(*shrugs*) Don’t care one way or another m’self. He was just a strange character with little motivation for being there in the games. I guess you need to read the “canon” to know what he’s about.

There are friends, and then there are friends. Some friends stick by you and are there for you when you need them the most, and some are all too ready to drop you like a used hankie.

Too true, I’m afraid.

Sadly, you can’t always tell the difference until you’re lying in the gutter covered in somebody’s snot.

Ewwwwweeeeee! Laufey!

“A severed hand is hardly an appropriate pet,” Jaheira decisively stated. “What are you going to do with it, child?”

:twisted: “Mom, it followed me home? Can I keep it? Huh, mom? Huh?”

Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.

I’m surprised they wouldn’t give it a ride. Then again, I guess I’m not really surprised.

Maybe it doesn’t get tired the way we do. It’s not as if the nerves have anywhere to go, after all.

It could hardly run out of breath, after all.

“I’m not sure,” the bard admitted, raking her fingers through her red hair. “Nobody in Imnesvale seemed to know exactly where she came from, or if she had any family, and all of her party are dead, so they can’t tell us either. And even if she did have family, it’s not as if this is exactly Mazzy any longer.”

No, it would not be a good deed to bring it home.

“You could always sell it,” Edwin suggested. “Many wizards would pay good money for a severed hand that could fetch and carry for them. Or perhaps one could put a spell on it that would enable it to catch thieves.

I think just having it around would freak any prospective thieves out.

I, of course, have no need of it, since I already possess the perfect familiar.” He reached up towards his shoulder to tickle Insufferable’s tummy, and the little monkey made a chirping sound of delight.

Awwww!

And neither do you, kitten, Softpaws interjected. The black cat appeard from out of the tall grass near the road, eyes glittering. That thing has to go. It keeps poking me in the ears as it tries to pet me.

I agree.

The druid smiled at first, half reaching out her hand towards the stranger. Then, the smile faltered, and her hand dropped to her side. “Der…Dermin? Is that you? It has been some time…”

Uh oh.

The man gave her a stern look. “Indeed. It has been a very long time. Long enough for you to forget much, it seems. Jaheira, do you remember the lessons I taught you?”

This isn’t good.

Anomen scowled. “What are you getting at, old man? If you have business with the lady, now would be a good time to state it, or else leave her be.”

:evil: Awwwww, Anomen’s being protective. Not that Jaheira can’t take care of herself, of course.

“Nobody locks little Rini in a box!” Minsc bellowed, and the large berserker gripped Dermin by the front of his robe, giving a little shake with every syllable. The Harper’s teeth rattled. “Boo says Minsc should put you in a box and don’t worry if all bits don’t fit inside, for he will make sure nothing is left sticking out.” From the depths of his pocket, there came an angry hiss that indicated that Boo meant business.

;) Yes, this should help things.

Rini couldn’t help smirking a little at that. “Cheer up, Dermin,” she said. “I’m wouldn’t mind helping Minsc fit everything inside that box, but we won’t hurt you. Not unless Jaheira wants it, so you’d better thank her nicely.” She gave the druid a questioning look. “Jaheira? Do you…”

“I’m wouldn’t” should be “I wouldn’t”

“No! This is not justice! This is revenge for a lie, a falsehood that no Harpers seem bothered to find the truth behind!” Jaheira made a cutting gesture with her hand, and then took a deep breath. “If this is truly Harper justice, then…then I renounce. I renounce my life as a Harper.”

;) Passionately loyal to the end.

Dermin sighed. “So be it then. I will take your words to those who will listen. Do not expect your life to be peaceful with this choice.”

:twisted: Not that it has ever been.

Jaheira managed a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you, Edwin, but no. Dermin…we are old friends. I cannot imagine that he will not see reason, in due time.”

(*sigh*) For all her sarcasm, Jaheira just can’t bring herself to suspect the worst of her friends..

“Hush, child,” the druid admonished her, sounding almost like her old self. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I made my own choice, and I stand by it.”

How very like Jaheira.

Anomen cleared his throat. “My lady,” he said, “I cannot begin to say how sorry I am. It is my sincere hope that this misunderstanding will indeed be cleared up, but should circumstances be less than fortunate, please remember to rely on…er…your friends and companions.”

Awwwwww.

Jaheira blinked, looking quite perplexed for just a moment, and the look in her eyes softened a little. Then, she spoke again, in her normal brisk tone of voice. “I am hardly helpless, Anomen. I will be fine, there is no need for concern.”

;)

“He’s right,” Rini quietly said. “We’ll do whatever we can to help, Jaheira, I promise, even if Elminster himself should pop up to meddle again.”

“A pity I do not have another scroll of Cow Kill,” Edwin muttered. “The squashing of that senile old puff of alimentary gas under the rump of a sturdy bovine ought to amuse even our grumpy druid, or indeed anybody not clinically dead.”

(*wistful sigh*) Cows……flying cows.

“I have not had experiences with exotic dancers!” Valygar angrily protested.

Score one for Jan. Even the usually unperturbable Valygar is not immune.

Jaheira’s eyes looked somewhat glazed over by now, but at this, she nodded, and even smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, so I am.)


Good story! Shouldn’t we be finding out about Dekaras and Yoshimo soon? They’ve been in the vampire’s lair for over two weeks!

--Rick Taylor

#22 Laufey

Posted 31 May 2005 - 10:37 PM

I'm posting this early, since I'll be away for some days. Will be back in the beginning of next week.

Hi Laufey! I’m just back from a memorial day weekend trip; it’s great to see another chapter of the cards.


Hi there! :D Just got home myself, in fact.

Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.

(*shrugs*) Don’t care one way or another m’self. He was just a strange character with little motivation for being there in the games. I guess you need to read the “canon” to know what he’s about.


Glad to hear it. :shock:


Sadly, you can’t always tell the difference until you’re lying in the gutter covered in somebody’s snot.

Ewwwwweeeeee! Laufey!


Sorry. ;)

Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.

I’m surprised they wouldn’t give it a ride. Then again, I guess I’m not really surprised.


After all - who would *want* to carry it?


I, of course, have no need of it, since I already possess the perfect familiar.” He reached up towards his shoulder to tickle Insufferable’s tummy, and the little monkey made a chirping sound of delight.

Awwww!



Thank you. :D



Anomen scowled. “What are you getting at, old man? If you have business with the lady, now would be a good time to state it, or else leave her be.”

:D Awwwww, Anomen’s being protective. Not that Jaheira can’t take care of herself, of course.


Indeed - but she can still appreciate the thought, I'm sure. :P


Rini couldn’t help smirking a little at that. “Cheer up, Dermin,” she said. “I’m wouldn’t mind helping Minsc fit everything inside that box, but we won’t hurt you. Not unless Jaheira wants it, so you’d better thank her nicely.” She gave the druid a questioning look. “Jaheira? Do you…”

“I’m wouldn’t” should be “I wouldn’t”


Thanks, that's a typo I'd missed. ;)


Jaheira managed a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you, Edwin, but no. Dermin…we are old friends. I cannot imagine that he will not see reason, in due time.”

(*sigh*) For all her sarcasm, Jaheira just can’t bring herself to suspect the worst of her friends..


No...she really is very loyal.


Jaheira’s eyes looked somewhat glazed over by now, but at this, she nodded, and even smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, so I am.)


Good story! Shouldn’t we be finding out about Dekaras and Yoshimo soon? They’ve been in the vampire’s lair for over two weeks!


--Rick Taylor


Soon, I promise!
Rogues do it from behind.

#23 Weyoun

Posted 09 June 2005 - 10:21 PM

Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.


How dare you, missy! :wink: For is Elminster not the very epiphany of goodness... and is not a great lover? :twisted:

Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.


Perky... another perfectly good work completely ruined. Which word will fall from it's pedestal this year, I wonder? :D

Jaheira’s cheeks flushed slightly, but her voice was steady. “Of…of course. You are my mentor Dermin, you introduced me to the Harpers and…”


“Yes, yes, but the lessons?”


Uh, 1 and 1 is 2? :)

“Nobody locks little Rini in a box!” Minsc bellowed, and the large berserker gripped Dermin by the front of his robe, giving a little shake with every syllable. The Harper’s teeth rattled. “Boo says Minsc should put you in a box and don’t worry if all bits don’t fit inside, for he will make sure nothing is left sticking out.” From the depths of his pocket, there came an angry hiss that indicated that Boo meant business.


just have a tiny box handy... just in case Dermin 'accidentally' falls into a potato-chipping machine. ;)

“No! This is not justice! This is revenge for a lie, a falsehood that no Harpers seem bothered to find the truth behind!” Jaheira made a cutting gesture with her hand, and then took a deep breath. “If this is truly Harper justice, then…then I renounce. I renounce my life as a Harper.”


Best decision you've ever made. Stick with it later on.

“He’s right,” Rini quietly said. “We’ll do whatever we can to help, Jaheira, I promise, even if Elminster himself should pop up to meddle again.”


I remember the mournful moooooooooo. :)

Valygar blinked. “You…dropped a cow on Elminster?” he said. “The Elminster? Not some…some exotic dancer performing under a stage name with a fake beard?”


:wink: The Chippenmage? *barfs*

“Bindles had his revenge though. The old wizard went sleepwalking one fine summer morning, after a lengthy bathing session with one of his Drow ‘nieces’, fell clear off his balcony and straight onto poor old Bindles Brownnose, which goes to show that brownnosing can be both physically painful and lead to highly embarrassing trips to the Healer’s office. Jaheira is better off not bothering with it, really.”


Oooooouuucch. :)

Drow 'nieces', hm? Well, in the introduction of Drow of the Underdark, a Drow, one of Elminsters apprentices, sits in the bath and the wizard sits at the side of the bath... Hmm....
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#24 Laufey

Posted 12 June 2005 - 04:17 PM


Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.


How dare you, missy! :D For is Elminster not the very epiphany of goodness... and is not a great lover? :twisted:


And has +6 in Dancing. :twisted:


Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.


Perky... another perfectly good work completely ruined. Which word will fall from it's pedestal this year, I wonder? :twisted:


I'm thinking of 'duck's bill'. You'll see what I mean in a few weeks. :twisted:



“Nobody locks little Rini in a box!” Minsc bellowed, and the large berserker gripped Dermin by the front of his robe, giving a little shake with every syllable. The Harper’s teeth rattled. “Boo says Minsc should put you in a box and don’t worry if all bits don’t fit inside, for he will make sure nothing is left sticking out.” From the depths of his pocket, there came an angry hiss that indicated that Boo meant business.


just have a tiny box handy... just in case Dermin 'accidentally' falls into a potato-chipping machine. :twisted:


;)



“He’s right,” Rini quietly said. “We’ll do whatever we can to help, Jaheira, I promise, even if Elminster himself should pop up to meddle again.”


I remember the mournful moooooooooo. :)


I liked that myself. :twisted:


Valygar blinked. “You…dropped a cow on Elminster?” he said. “The Elminster? Not some…some exotic dancer performing under a stage name with a fake beard?”


:) The Chippenmage? *barfs*


:twisted:


Drow 'nieces', hm? Well, in the introduction of Drow of the Underdark, a Drow, one of Elminsters apprentices, sits in the bath and the wizard sits at the side of the bath... Hmm....


I think that's what I had in the back of my mind when I wrote this, actually.
Rogues do it from behind.

#25 Guest_Lord E_*

Posted 28 June 2005 - 06:54 AM

Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.


Deary, deary... tsk, tsk. You Blasphemer!

There are friends, and then there are friends. Some friends stick by you and are there for you when you need them the most, and some are all too ready to drop you like a used hankie. Sadly, you can’t always tell the difference until you’re lying in the gutter covered in somebody’s snot.


Yes, I know.

Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.


Amusingly it has retained some of Mazzy's character :cry: I can't see her complaining at marches even though she is shorter than anyone else. (Well, except Jan).

“Look, I won’t sell her! I mean it. Whatever. It wouldn’t be right.”


“The adventuring profession is well known for making its members cart around various severed body parts in order to collect bounties. I fail to see the difference.”


I *sort of* see Edwin's point :) But still, it used to be Mazzy's hand...


“Yes, yes, but the lessons?”


Anomen scowled. “What are you getting at, old man? If you have business with the lady, now would be a good time to state it, or else leave her be.”


Protective! Awww, I like Ano.

“Nobody locks little Rini in a box!” Minsc bellowed, and the large berserker gripped Dermin by the front of his robe, giving a little shake with every syllable. The Harper’s teeth rattled. “Boo says Minsc should put you in a box and don’t worry if all bits don’t fit inside, for he will make sure nothing is left sticking out.” From the depths of his pocket, there came an angry hiss that indicated that Boo meant business.


In situations like this, Minsc usually doesn't help even if he means to.

Dermin wrenched himself out of Minsc’s grip, and shook his head. “It is not seen that way, Jaheira. Exact the necessary justice, if you wish redemption for your actions. The others will not accept you otherwise.”


Bloody self-righteous secret society, I don't know what Jaheira does with them in the first place.


Dermin sighed. “So be it then. I will take your words to those who will listen. Do not expect your life to be peaceful with this choice.”


Now *that* certainly is something new for Jaheira...

Jaheira looked him straight in the eyes, never flinching. “It may not be peaceful, but it is clearer than the course you are on. Goodbye, Dermin.”


I love her strength and dignity.

“He’s right,” Rini quietly said. “We’ll do whatever we can to help, Jaheira, I promise, even if Elminster himself should pop up to meddle again.”


The cow! The cow!

Valygar blinked. “You…dropped a cow on Elminster?” he said. “The Elminster? Not some…some exotic dancer performing under a stage name with a fake beard?”


Poor Valy, he will have nightmares for years to come about this time with them ;)

“We do not want to know!” Anomen said, looking rather red-faced.


Embarrissingly enough, I do ... :P

“Old Elminster is quite the dancer himself too,” Jan continued, smirking slyly. “And he’s got old Bindles to thank for that, Bindles taught him all the best moves, including the ‘Attention Seeking Crotch Grab’ that all the Boy Band Bards do.


EEEEEE! My eyes!

“Bindles had his revenge though. The old wizard went sleepwalking one fine summer morning, after a lengthy bathing session with one of his Drow ‘nieces’, fell clear off his balcony and straight onto poor old Bindles Brownnose, which goes to show that brownnosing can be both physically painful and lead to highly embarrassing trips to the Healer’s office. Jaheira is better off not bothering with it, really.”


You are mad and evil :lol: :lol:
And I approve of the moral of the story.

Jaheira’s eyes looked somewhat glazed over by now, but at this, she nodded, and even smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, so I am.)


See, everyone gave you their support in their own, unique way!

#26 Laufey

Posted 28 June 2005 - 08:52 AM


Disclaimer: Contains rude reference to Elminster. If that frays your nerves, go get a blindfold towards the end.


Deary, deary... tsk, tsk. You Blasphemer!


I will now ritually whip myself with a pointy hat in order to do penance!


Zaerini turned to glance across her shoulder. Mazzy’s hand was trailing along after the rest of the party, moving amazingly quickly given that it had to run using its fingers. They had been going at a brisk speed ever since leaving Imnesvale, pausing only to escort Madulf back to his camp after negotiating the treaty with the mayor. Still, the hand seemed positively…perky.


Amusingly it has retained some of Mazzy's character :P I can't see her complaining at marches even though she is shorter than anyone else. (Well, except Jan).


Agreed - while I don't like her, I think she's a tough and capable warrior, and not the sort to complain about physical rigors.



Anomen scowled. “What are you getting at, old man? If you have business with the lady, now would be a good time to state it, or else leave her be.”


Protective! Awww, I like Ano.


He's a sweetie. :lol:


“Nobody locks little Rini in a box!” Minsc bellowed, and the large berserker gripped Dermin by the front of his robe, giving a little shake with every syllable. The Harper’s teeth rattled. “Boo says Minsc should put you in a box and don’t worry if all bits don’t fit inside, for he will make sure nothing is left sticking out.” From the depths of his pocket, there came an angry hiss that indicated that Boo meant business.


In situations like this, Minsc usually doesn't help even if he means to.


His sense of diplomacy equals Edwin's. :D


Dermin wrenched himself out of Minsc’s grip, and shook his head. “It is not seen that way, Jaheira. Exact the necessary justice, if you wish redemption for your actions. The others will not accept you otherwise.”


Bloody self-righteous secret society, I don't know what Jaheira does with them in the first place.


While I acknowledge that there are individual decent Harpers, like Gorion, or Khalid and Jaheira, the concept is not one I like at all.



Jaheira looked him straight in the eyes, never flinching. “It may not be peaceful, but it is clearer than the course you are on. Goodbye, Dermin.”


I love her strength and dignity.


Yes, she has them both in spades. :lol:


“He’s right,” Rini quietly said. “We’ll do whatever we can to help, Jaheira, I promise, even if Elminster himself should pop up to meddle again.”


The cow! The cow!


Moooooooo! :cry:


Valygar blinked. “You…dropped a cow on Elminster?” he said. “The Elminster? Not some…some exotic dancer performing under a stage name with a fake beard?”


Poor Valy, he will have nightmares for years to come about this time with them :D


It'll get worse. ;)


“Bindles had his revenge though. The old wizard went sleepwalking one fine summer morning, after a lengthy bathing session with one of his Drow ‘nieces’, fell clear off his balcony and straight onto poor old Bindles Brownnose, which goes to show that brownnosing can be both physically painful and lead to highly embarrassing trips to the Healer’s office. Jaheira is better off not bothering with it, really.”


You are mad and evil :D :D
And I approve of the moral of the story.


Thank you! :D


Jaheira’s eyes looked somewhat glazed over by now, but at this, she nodded, and even smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, so I am.)


See, everyone gave you their support in their own, unique way!


Oh yes, they are a team by now. Even Edwin. :)
Rogues do it from behind.




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