Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
Cards Reshuffled 248 – Hero’s Welcome
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’
“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
“It was a hand. The gods alone know what it is now.”
Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, his lips moving. “Ah,” he said as he raised his head again. “I see.”
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting.
“It is life, but not as we know it,” Anomen began. “This hand is not the Mazzy we knew, for one thing.”
“No, she is far quieter,” Edwin agreed. “An agreeable change.” He then yelped as the hand flicked some dirt in his face.
“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
“Now that is settled,” Jaheira said, “let us take a look at this Shade Lord and see what manner of creature he was.” She pushed the black cloak aside, and then bit back an oath. Zaerini understood why, as she looked upon the face of the creature they had just fought.
The Shade Lord’s face had once been human, and female. It was still recognizable as such, though only just barely. “Free…” The word emerged from between the cracked and blistered black lips in a bubbling croak. “Free…at last.”
“Yes,” Valygar said, bending over the dying woman. “Yes, Merella. You are.”
The dying ranger of Imnesvale smiled briefly, and gave a small sigh. She did not breathe again.
“So much unnecessary death,” Anomen said, shaking his head. “Such a waste.”
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”
And so it was. The mists were departing, dissipating and drifting away, and there was a crack in the previously so heavy layer of clouds, one through which blue sky was clearly visible. The sun peered through, and golden rays illuminated the statue that leaned in over the dead ranger, playing across its melancholy features until Zaerini almost thought she could detect a smile.
“Yes,” Valygar agreed. “These woods will heal themselves, in time, now that the Shade Lord is gone.”
“It is begun already,” Jaheira said, smiling warmly at something only she could see. “I can sense it, in my blood, in my bones. Life is returning here, even as we speak, and the shadows and Shade Wolves are all gone, along with their dark master.”
“So Mazzy’s sacrifice was not in vain,” Anomen stated, looking pensive.
“Depends on how you look at it, doesn’t it?” Rini said. “We wouldn’t have nearly got killed by the dragon if it wasn’t for her, but on the other hand, who knows how we’d have done against the Shade Lord without her…er…there to lend a helping hand. I’m just glad the rest of us are safe, really. And now I think we ought to be getting back to Imnesvale. I think Minister Lloyd is bound to be happy to see us.”
“Yes!” Minsc agreed, cheering. “Happy party for the returning heroes! Does Little Rini think Boo might be given some cheese with his crackers this evening, for being a brave and heroic hamster?”
“I don’t see why not. After all, they’re probably going to declare us to be…”
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
-*-
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”
The crowd, consisting of the entire village population, cheered loudly, and followed up with much clapping of hands and stomping of feet. Out of the corner of her eye, Rini saw something bright and colorful come flying towards her, and she reflexively held out her hand to catch it. It was a bouquet of pretty wildflowers, fragrant enough to make her sneeze. Despite her streaming eyes she just managed to spot a grinning young man in the front of the crowd, who gave her a sly wink. That seemed to be a signal of sorts, for the good citizens of Imnesvale now went on to appreciation by bombarding the adventurers with even more flowers. Rini was unashamedly ignorant of exactly what kinds they were, but she thought the garland of yellow ones dangling from Jaheira’s left ear were very pretty. The druid seemed less than happy though, and muttered something under her breath about ‘Waste of precious plants.’
It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. She was rather grateful for Edwin’s menacing glower though, since that meant less enthusiastic followers on his part. Not that I don’t trust him, of course. Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
Right, that does it. “Eddie?” she said, and she let her hand slide discreetly across her lover’s back. “Just wanted to make sure you haven’t forgotten.”
“Hm?” Edwin said, turning his eyes away from the crowd with some difficulty. “What was that, my most adorable Hellkitten?”
“Oh…” the half-elf said, and she reached up to pull his face down towards hers, stroking his cheek as she did so. “Just wanted to remind you, that before anything else, you’re my Hero.”
The enthusiasm with which he returned her kiss reassured her that he was perfectly happy with that. And when she suggested that they take a little walk outside the village, just the two of them, he was happier still.
Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
Walking while invisible had challenges all of its own. It was pretty easy to trip over your own feet, since you couldn’t actually see them, for one thing. However, Edwin’s suggestion that they definitely should be holding hands in order not to lose track of each other made the walk very enjoyable. They decided not to stray too far from the village, not wanting to accidentally blunder into any monster nests.
“Privacy above all,” Edwin said, and as they stopped to share a kiss his hands kept doing all sorts of interesting things to her that left her very short of breath. Being invisible sure didn’t affect her sense of touch one bit, which was all for the best. “In fact,” he went on, “this could prove an experiment of some interest. (Though I would greatly miss being able to see her exquisite face and form, I would enjoy rising to the challenge of satisfying her desires blindly, applying all of my erotic skills.)”
“Mmm…” the half-elf readily agreed. “Still, I think I want to be sure we’re not spotted, just in case the spell wears off. I mean, imagine if Minsc stumbled across us. Or Jan.”
“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”
And so there was. A rather large cave opened up in the cliffside in front of them, and Rini was pleased to note that it seemed both dry and clean. “Ooops…” she said. “I forgot – this floor will be rather hard, won’t it?”
“Never fear,” Edwin responded. “As always, I am fully prepared to cope with any awkward inconvenience that might confound mere mortals. Observe.” There was the sound of his voice murmuring words of magic, and a few fluffy pillows and blankets popped into existence in the middle of the floor. “Pity that ‘Parry’s Perfect Pillows’ requires the hair of a blessed virgin as a spell component, or I could do this every time we stop for a rest,” Edwin said. “But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…”
She could feel rather than see the wizard’s smirk. “Never mind him now,” he said. “There are far more important things at stake here, and mainly the matter of me demonstrating my supreme erotic prowess by thoroughly stimulating your…”
There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
Cards Reshuffled 248
Started by Laufey, May 01 2005 10:47 AM
24 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_Kulyok_*
Guest_Kulyok_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 11:00 AM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
*re-reads* Where?
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
But what to do with them? After all, she's got Edwin already.
“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
LOL!
“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
No, of course not. “Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
“It was a hand. The gods alone know what it is now.”
Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, his lips moving. “Ah,” he said as he raised his head again. “I see.”
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting.
Oh... my.... god.
“No, she is far quieter,” Edwin agreed. “An agreeable change.” He then yelped as the hand flicked some dirt in his face.
*wipes away tears of laughter*
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
ROFL!
“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
MYAHAHAHAHAHA !
“So much unnecessary death,” Anomen said, shaking his head. “Such a waste.”
Ano, remember: you are NOT a necromancer.
(he sounded a bit as if he wanted to do something to the corpses.. *snicker*)“I don’t see why not. After all, they’re probably going to declare us to be…”
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
Dekaraaaas? Wheeeeere aaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?
It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. She was rather grateful for Edwin’s menacing glower though, since that meant less enthusiastic followers on his part. Not that I don’t trust him, of course. Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
I wonder why.
Though, if it was another in Edwin's place, I believe I couldn't help a Horrid Wilting... or two. Brings me back to the question of what Elvira would do to Imoen... *dreamily*
“Mmm…” the half-elf readily agreed. “Still, I think I want to be sure we’re not spotted, just in case the spell wears off. I mean, imagine if Minsc stumbled across us. Or Jan.”
*snicker* He wouldn't let you two go before telling another turnip story.
“Never fear,” Edwin responded. “As always, I am fully prepared to cope with any awkward inconvenience that might confound mere mortals. Observe.” There was the sound of his voice murmuring words of magic, and a few fluffy pillows and blankets popped into existence in the middle of the floor. “Pity that ‘Parry’s Perfect Pillows’ requires the hair of a blessed virgin as a spell component, or I could do this every time we stop for a rest,” Edwin said. “But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…”
*chuckle*There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
The guys with the sword and ale?
#3
Guest_Melle_*
Guest_Melle_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 11:28 AM
Small WoW aside: If someone invites you to Dire Maul after nine o'clock at night, don't listen to them.
- questing at 5am Melle
Dekkie? Where? Hey, don't look at me like that. He's got all the signs, doesn't he? Tragic childhood, check. Horribly angst-prone, check. Better than canon characters, check. Admittedly, that last one is because Artemis Entreri sucks big floppy donkey... tail. Just look at what those poor BG1 assassins had to resort to in order to not out-competent him. 
Aw crap. Where is proper eternal suffering when you need it?
So, is this a permanent party addition? Or will she run away and elope with Abduh?
Poor Eddie.
:D
Everyone in the audience grins, as they know there is only one cave in the vicinity.
[mortal kombat voice] Fatality.
At least they didn't stumble upon them quietly...
- questing at 5am Melle
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
Dekkie? Where?
Hey, don't look at me like that. He's got all the signs, doesn't he? Tragic childhood, check. Horribly angst-prone, check. Better than canon characters, check. Admittedly, that last one is because Artemis Entreri sucks big floppy donkey... tail. Just look at what those poor BG1 assassins had to resort to in order to not out-competent him. “The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
Aw crap. Where is proper eternal suffering when you need it?
“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
So, is this a permanent party addition? Or will she run away and elope with Abduh?
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
Poor Eddie.
A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
:D“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”
Everyone in the audience grins, as they know there is only one cave in the vicinity.
“Pity that ‘Parry’s Perfect Pillows’ requires the hair of a blessed virgin as a spell component, or I could do this every time we stop for a rest,” Edwin said. “But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
[mortal kombat voice] Fatality.
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
At least they didn't stumble upon them quietly...
#4
Laufey
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Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 12:02 PM
[quote][quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*re-reads* Where?
[/quote]
Check out the women admiring Eddie.
[quote]
[quote]There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
But what to do with them? After all, she's got Edwin already.
[/quote]
Oh, true, but she was speaking generally.
[quote]
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh... my.... god.
[/quote]
That hand still has instincts.
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
ROFL!
[/quote]
Heh heh, thank you.
[quote]
[quote]“So much unnecessary death,” Anomen said, shaking his head. “Such a waste.” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Ano, remember: you are NOT a necromancer. (he sounded a bit as if he wanted to do something to the corpses.. *snicker*)
[/quote]
LOL! Oh dear, I certainly hope not.
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekaraaaas? Wheeeeere aaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?
[/quote]
Far away from here, I'm afraid.
[quote]
Brings me back to the question of what Elvira would do to Imoen... *dreamily*
[/quote]
Hmmm...I'm tempted to find out.
[quote]
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*chuckle*
[/quote]
Then again, maybe Edwin was lying...or guessing.
[quote]
[quote]There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
[/quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
The guys with the sword and ale?[/quote]
We'll see.
[/quote]
[quote]
*re-reads* Where?
[/quote]
Check out the women admiring Eddie.
[quote]
[quote]There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
But what to do with them? After all, she's got Edwin already.
[/quote]
Oh, true, but she was speaking generally.
[quote]
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh... my.... god.
[/quote]
That hand still has instincts.
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
ROFL!
[/quote]
Heh heh, thank you.
[quote]
[quote]“So much unnecessary death,” Anomen said, shaking his head. “Such a waste.” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Ano, remember: you are NOT a necromancer.
(he sounded a bit as if he wanted to do something to the corpses.. *snicker*)[/quote]
LOL! Oh dear, I certainly hope not.
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekaraaaas? Wheeeeere aaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?
[/quote]
Far away from here, I'm afraid.
[quote]
Brings me back to the question of what Elvira would do to Imoen... *dreamily*
[/quote]
Hmmm...I'm tempted to find out.
[quote]
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*chuckle*[/quote]
Then again, maybe Edwin was lying...or guessing.
[quote]
[quote]There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
[/quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
The guys with the sword and ale?
[/quote]We'll see.
Rogues do it from behind.
#5
Guest_Theodur_*
Guest_Theodur_*
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- Guests
Posted 01 May 2005 - 12:23 PM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
But… but think of the horrible example that you set for the innocent children!
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
You know, I can see some decent possibilities for a postman…
“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
LOL! Well, that’s not the only way life forms can breed, but… yeah, good point.
“No, she is far quieter,” Edwin agreed. “An agreeable change.” He then yelped as the hand flicked some dirt in his face.
It is an improvement in so many ways…
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
Awww… poor hand.
Can Valygar be its squire? “Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
Yay for another party member!
The Shade Lord’s face had once been human, and female. It was still recognizable as such, though only just barely. “Free…” The word emerged from between the cracked and blistered black lips in a bubbling croak. “Free…at last.”
At least it’s better than to be the vessel of a creepy undead, I say. “Depends on how you look at it, doesn’t it?” Rini said. “We wouldn’t have nearly got killed by the dragon if it wasn’t for her, but on the other hand, who knows how we’d have done against the Shade Lord without her…er…there to lend a helping hand. I’m just glad the rest of us are safe, really. And now I think we ought to be getting back to Imnesvale. I think Minister Lloyd is bound to be happy to see us.”
Certainly an interesting debate – but Rini must be getting used to riding her luck like that.
“Yes!” Minsc agreed, cheering. “Happy party for the returning heroes! Does Little Rini think Boo might be given some cheese with his crackers this evening, for being a brave and heroic hamster?”
I’m sure Boo will get all that and a big sack of hazelnuts as well.
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”
Now let me see… Nashkel, Beregost, Gullykin, Baldur’s Gate, Trademeet and now Imnesvale. I can see how that is getting a bit too much for Eddie. The crowd, consisting of the entire village population, cheered loudly, and followed up with much clapping of hands and stomping of feet. Out of the corner of her eye, Rini saw something bright and colorful come flying towards her, and she reflexively held out her hand to catch it. It was a bouquet of pretty wildflowers, fragrant enough to make her sneeze. Despite her streaming eyes she just managed to spot a grinning young man in the front of the crowd, who gave her a sly wink. That seemed to be a signal of sorts, for the good citizens of Imnesvale now went on to appreciation by bombarding the adventurers with even more flowers. Rini was unashamedly ignorant of exactly what kinds they were, but she thought the garland of yellow ones dangling from Jaheira’s left ear were very pretty. The druid seemed less than happy though, and muttered something under her breath about ‘Waste of precious plants.’
It’s very pretty though – and I’m sure Ano agrees.
It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. She was rather grateful for Edwin’s menacing glower though, since that meant less enthusiastic followers on his part. Not that I don’t trust him, of course. Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
Yes, this must be one of those rare moments when you say – going into adventuring is totally worth it.
The enthusiasm with which he returned her kiss reassured her that he was perfectly happy with that. And when she suggested that they take a little walk outside the village, just the two of them, he was happier still.
Oh, I just bet he would be!
“Privacy above all,” Edwin said, and as they stopped to share a kiss his hands kept doing all sorts of interesting things to her that left her very short of breath. Being invisible sure didn’t affect her sense of touch one bit, which was all for the best. “In fact,” he went on, “this could prove an experiment of some interest. (Though I would greatly miss being able to see her exquisite face and form, I would enjoy rising to the challenge of satisfying her desires blindly, applying all of my erotic skills.)”
Sounds like an interesting experiment indeed, though I think not being able to see does detract a bit from the enjoyment.
“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”
Oooh dear!
“Never fear,” Edwin responded. “As always, I am fully prepared to cope with any awkward inconvenience that might confound mere mortals. Observe.” There was the sound of his voice murmuring words of magic, and a few fluffy pillows and blankets popped into existence in the middle of the floor. “Pity that ‘Parry’s Perfect Pillows’ requires the hair of a blessed virgin as a spell component, or I could do this every time we stop for a rest,” Edwin said. “But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
LOL! Well, Eddie, don’t count on Ano remaining a virgin for too long, now…
There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
But of course… seems like Rini and Edwin are under the same curse as Theo and Jaheira – others seemed to walk in on them all the time.
#6
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 12:37 PM
[quote][quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*re-reads* Where?
[/quote]
Check out Eddie's admirers...
[quote]
[quote]There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
But what to do with them? After all, she's got Edwin already.
[/quote]
Oh, she was just speaking generally.
[quote]
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh... my.... god.
[/quote]
That hand still has instincts...
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
ROFL!
[/quote]
Thank you.
[quote]
Ano, remember: you are NOT a necromancer. (he sounded a bit as if he wanted to do something to the corpses.. *snicker*)
[/quote]
Oh dear, I sure hope not.
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekaraaaas? Wheeeeere aaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?
[/quote]
Far from here, I'm afraid...
[quote]
Brings me back to the question of what Elvira would do to Imoen... *dreamily*
[/quote]
I'm rather tempted to find out, actually.
[quote]
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*chuckle*
[/quote]
Then again, maybe Eddie was lying. Or maybe not.
[quote]
[quote]There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
[/quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
The guys with the sword and ale?[/quote]
We'll see...
[/quote]
[quote]
*re-reads* Where?
[/quote]
Check out Eddie's admirers...
[quote]
[quote]There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
But what to do with them? After all, she's got Edwin already.
[/quote]
Oh, she was just speaking generally.
[quote]
“Well?” Rini asked him, not taking her eyes off the hand. It was edging over towards Valygar now, and it was sort of…strutting. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh... my.... god.
[/quote]
That hand still has instincts...
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
ROFL!
[/quote]
Thank you.
[quote]
Ano, remember: you are NOT a necromancer.
(he sounded a bit as if he wanted to do something to the corpses.. *snicker*)[/quote]
Oh dear, I sure hope not.
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekaraaaas? Wheeeeere aaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?
[/quote]
Far from here, I'm afraid...
[quote]
Brings me back to the question of what Elvira would do to Imoen... *dreamily*
[/quote]
I'm rather tempted to find out, actually.
[quote]
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…” [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
*chuckle*[/quote]
Then again, maybe Eddie was lying. Or maybe not.
[quote]
[quote]There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
[/quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
The guys with the sword and ale?
[/quote]We'll see...
Rogues do it from behind.
#7
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 12:43 PM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
But… but think of the horrible example that you set for the innocent children!
Oh, you know me. Any loathsome deed in order to satisfy my vile urges.
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
You know, I can see some decent possibilities for a postman…
True, true.
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
Awww… poor hand.
I'm sure the hand would like that.
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
Yay for another party member!
And such an eloquent one...
“Depends on how you look at it, doesn’t it?” Rini said. “We wouldn’t have nearly got killed by the dragon if it wasn’t for her, but on the other hand, who knows how we’d have done against the Shade Lord without her…er…there to lend a helping hand. I’m just glad the rest of us are safe, really. And now I think we ought to be getting back to Imnesvale. I think Minister Lloyd is bound to be happy to see us.”
Certainly an interesting debate – but Rini must be getting used to riding her luck like that.
It's what she does best, really.
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”
And it's not over yet.
It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. She was rather grateful for Edwin’s menacing glower though, since that meant less enthusiastic followers on his part. Not that I don’t trust him, of course. Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
Yes, this must be one of those rare moments when you say – going into adventuring is totally worth it.
Gasping Concubines alert!
“Never fear,” Edwin responded. “As always, I am fully prepared to cope with any awkward inconvenience that might confound mere mortals. Observe.” There was the sound of his voice murmuring words of magic, and a few fluffy pillows and blankets popped into existence in the middle of the floor. “Pity that ‘Parry’s Perfect Pillows’ requires the hair of a blessed virgin as a spell component, or I could do this every time we stop for a rest,” Edwin said. “But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
LOL! Well, Eddie, don’t count on Ano remaining a virgin for too long, now…
*smirk*
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
But of course… seems like Rini and Edwin are under the same curse as Theo and Jaheira – others seemed to walk in on them all the time.
It's so much more fun that way!
Rogues do it from behind.
#8
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 12:49 PM
[quote]Small WoW aside: If someone invites you to Dire Maul after nine o'clock at night, don't listen to them.
- questing at 5am Melle
[/quote]
Wasn't planning to, it's still too high level for me.
[quote]
[quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekkie? Where? Hey, don't look at me like that. He's got all the signs, doesn't he? Tragic childhood, check. Horribly angst-prone, check. Better than canon characters, check. Admittedly, that last one is because Artemis Entreri sucks big floppy donkey... tail. Just look at what those poor BG1 assassins had to resort to in order to not out-competent him.
[/quote]
Well, according to that Mary Sue test recently posted, *I* am a Mary Sue, and I should instantly throw myself onto the garbage heap. So you'll pardon me for not taking any such suggestions seriously.
[quote]
[quote]
“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Aw crap. Where is proper eternal suffering when you need it?
[/quote]
Sorry, not this time around.
[quote]
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
So, is this a permanent party addition? Or will she run away and elope with Abduh?
[/quote]
Wait and find out...
[quote]
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Poor Eddie.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
:D
[/quote]
Fear the Gasping Concubines!
[quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
At least they didn't stumble upon them quietly...[/quote]
Which would have been worse, in a way.
- questing at 5am Melle
[/quote]
Wasn't planning to, it's still too high level for me.
[quote]
[quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Dekkie? Where?
Hey, don't look at me like that. He's got all the signs, doesn't he? Tragic childhood, check. Horribly angst-prone, check. Better than canon characters, check. Admittedly, that last one is because Artemis Entreri sucks big floppy donkey... tail. Just look at what those poor BG1 assassins had to resort to in order to not out-competent him. [/quote]
Well, according to that Mary Sue test recently posted, *I* am a Mary Sue, and I should instantly throw myself onto the garbage heap. So you'll pardon me for not taking any such suggestions seriously.
[quote]
[quote]
“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Aw crap. Where is proper eternal suffering when you need it?
[/quote]
Sorry, not this time around.
[quote]
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
So, is this a permanent party addition? Or will she run away and elope with Abduh?
[/quote]
Wait and find out...
[quote]
[quote]
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Poor Eddie.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
:D[/quote]
Fear the Gasping Concubines!
[quote]
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
At least they didn't stumble upon them quietly...[/quote]
Which would have been worse, in a way.
Rogues do it from behind.
#9
Guest_Futurist_*
Guest_Futurist_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 03:32 PM
Wow, I now realize that some planning needs to go into the commenting.
Hmm.. "Heroism! Helping ugly people to have sex since the first kidnapped princess."
That hand is hilarious. Why do I also get the feeling that it may end up with Nalia and Xzar?
Come one, come all! See the amazing multiplying halfling hand!
Oh well, Mazzy will hopefully be happy with Arvoreen or whatever Halfling afterlife she ends up in.
A fine addition to any party.
All is well that ends well. (That is correct, right?)
When you think about it, maybe most evil things just might get bored and go away by themselves in the end. But then heroes wouldn’t have jobs.
What happened to not blundering into monsters nests?
Well, at least its not their parents and only two Umber Hulks walking in on them right?
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’ .
Hmm.. "Heroism! Helping ugly people to have sex since the first kidnapped princess."
“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
That hand is hilarious. Why do I also get the feeling that it may end up with Nalia and Xzar?
“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
“It was a hand. The gods alone know what it is now.”.
Come one, come all! See the amazing multiplying halfling hand!
“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
Oh well, Mazzy will hopefully be happy with Arvoreen or whatever Halfling afterlife she ends up in.
“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
A fine addition to any party.
“Yes,” Valygar said, bending over the dying woman. “Yes, Merella. You are.”
The dying ranger of Imnesvale smiled briefly, and gave a small sigh. She did not breathe again.
“So much unnecessary death,” Anomen said, shaking his head. “Such a waste.”
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”
All is well that ends well. (That is correct, right?)
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
-*-
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”
Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
When you think about it, maybe most evil things just might get bored and go away by themselves in the end. But then heroes wouldn’t have jobs.
“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”
What happened to not blundering into monsters nests?
There, he had to pause, as Rini pulled him closer and gave him another thorough kiss, dragging him down onto the pillows. He smelled nice, she noticed, and although it was a shame that she couldn’t actually see him, his hands were traveling across her body, making it awaken to his touch, and the warmth of his skin against hers as they started disrobing was…
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
Well, at least its not their parents and only two Umber Hulks walking in on them right?
#10
Guest_RickTaylor_*
Guest_RickTaylor_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 04:03 PM
Hi Laufey!
He can do that? It makes sense. (I don't know what D&D is like, but I used to play Rune Quest, and that's exactly the sort of thing high level clerics could do, though it wasn't easy).
Star Trek reference?
Ummmm, Rini?
Good story! Nice ending to the Shade Lord arc.
--Rick
Ummmmm, now that Mazzy has died, everyone gathers around, cries, and talks about how wonderful she was?Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
Ewwwwweeeeeee!“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
(*puts head in hands*) I don’t even want to think about that.“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
Jaheira, please stop. You’ll give Jan ideas.“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.”
He can do that? It makes sense. (I don't know what D&D is like, but I used to play Rune Quest, and that's exactly the sort of thing high level clerics could do, though it wasn't easy).“It is life, but not as we know it,” Anomen began. “This hand is not the Mazzy we knew, for one thing.”
Star Trek reference?Well, I'm relieved Mazzy's spirit made it to the afterlife. But then what is this hand? And why did it attack the shade lord?“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her.
Ah, I see. Thank you, Anomen.However, the necromantic magic of the Shade Lord, that he used to raise his servants, was enough to imbue this lost appendage with a form of life, and a rudimentary consciousness. It remembered whom its true enemy was, and the result of that we already witnessed.”
Ewwwweeeeeeee!!!! Valygar, with his hatred of magic, must find this especially disturbing.“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said.
Ummmm, Rini?Hmmm. It wasn’t a yes or no question. I guess 2 fingers means it wants to come with them.“Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
(*puts head in hands*) No no no no no no no no......The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.
The Shade Lord’s face had once been human, and female. It was still recognizable as such, though only just barely. “Free…” The word emerged from between the cracked and blistered black lips in a bubbling croak. “Free…at last.”
“Yes,” Valygar agreed. “These woods will heal themselves, in time, now that the Shade Lord is gone.”
“It is begun already,” Jaheira said, smiling warmly at something only she could see. “I can sense it, in my blood, in my bones. Life is returning here, even as we speak, and the shadows and Shade Wolves are all gone, along with their dark master.”
Anomen has a good heart.“So Mazzy’s sacrifice was not in vain,” Anomen stated, looking pensive.
Yaaayyyyyyyy!!!“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”
Oh dear. I guess it’s not surprising Anomen would have such admirers.It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions.
Just tell them to “talk to the hand,” Rini.Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos.
It’s about time they had some time together. By the way, who has the hand? I hope it’s not Edwin or Rini.The enthusiasm with which he returned her kiss reassured her that he was perfectly happy with that. And when she suggested that they take a little walk outside the village, just the two of them, he was happier still.
Good idea! And Jaheira is the perfect choice.Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
Oh dear. This isn’t the cave with the mimic and the umber hulk, is it? Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.“Mmm…” the half-elf readily agreed. “Still, I think I want to be sure we’re not spotted, just in case the spell wears off. I mean, imagine if Minsc stumbled across us. Or Jan.”
“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”
And so there was. A rather large cave opened up in the cliffside in front of them, and Rini was pleased to note that it seemed both dry and clean. “Ooops…” she said. “I forgot – this floor will be rather hard, won’t it?”
(*sigh*) This is so unfair.And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
Good story! Nice ending to the Shade Lord arc.
--Rick
#11
Guest_AlphaMonkey_*
Guest_AlphaMonkey_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 06:31 PM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
Ruh-roh?
Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
You kidding me? You know how many girls you can snag if you know how to make a really good chocolate-chocolate cake?
Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
You know, the very idea of Short Round flipping someone off, that just amuses me greatly.
It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.
I can almost imagine Jaheira blushing while she said that. Certainly not a lot, but maaaaaybe just a tiny bit...
He then yelped as the hand flicked some dirt in his face.
Sweet.
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
(Snicker) "Climb up the tree, not the angry Valygar!"
http://www.sluggy.co...php?date=050424
It was a bouquet of pretty wildflowers, fragrant enough to make her sneeze.
Pollen count's high today, huh?
The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions.
NICE!
That's awesome.
Some of the shapes were very forthright
The elven version of Poison Ivy?
(The Batman-universe character, not the plant)“But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
Awwww... that's just mean.
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
Ah. Better.
Enough of this sappy garbage.
#12
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 07:26 PM
[quote]Wow, I now realize that some planning needs to go into the commenting.
[/quote]
Heh, only if you want to.
[quote]
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’ .[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Hmm.. "Heroism! Helping ugly people to have sex since the first kidnapped princess."
[/quote]
[quote]“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
That hand is hilarious. Why do I also get the feeling that it may end up with Nalia and Xzar?
[/quote]
Oh, I don't know...
[quote]
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh well, Mazzy will hopefully be happy with Arvoreen or whatever Halfling afterlife she ends up in.
[/quote]
Oh yes, I suspect that she is.
[quote]
[quote]“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
[/quote]
[quote]
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
A fine addition to any party.
[/quote]
Who wouldn't want an undead hand, really?
[quote]
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
All is well that ends well. (That is correct, right?)
[/quote]
Yes it is.
[quote]
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[/quote]
Poor, poor Edwin...
[quote]
[quote]Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
When you think about it, maybe most evil things just might get bored and go away by themselves in the end. But then heroes wouldn’t have jobs.
[/quote]
And if they didn't all those princesses would remain unrescued!
[quote]
[quote]“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
What happened to not blundering into monsters nests?
[/quote]
He got distracted.
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Well, at least its not their parents and only two Umber Hulks walking in on them right?[/quote]
LOL! No, not their parents...Edwin's parents would be bad enough, but imagine Bhaal popping in on them.
[/quote]
Heh, only if you want to.
[quote]
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’ .[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Hmm.. "Heroism! Helping ugly people to have sex since the first kidnapped princess."
[/quote]
[quote]“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
That hand is hilarious. Why do I also get the feeling that it may end up with Nalia and Xzar?
[/quote]
Oh, I don't know...
[quote]
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Oh well, Mazzy will hopefully be happy with Arvoreen or whatever Halfling afterlife she ends up in.
[/quote]
Oh yes, I suspect that she is.
[quote]
[quote]“Well, I guess we’d better bring her…I mean it…along, if it wants to come,” Rini said. “Hey, hand! Want to come with us back to civilization, or want to stay here? Er…two fingers up for ‘yes’, one for ‘no’, all right?”
[/quote]
[quote]
The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
A fine addition to any party.
[/quote]
Who wouldn't want an undead hand, really?
[quote]
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
All is well that ends well. (That is correct, right?)
[/quote]
Yes it is.
[quote]
“THE HEROES OF IMNESVALE! THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURNING BRAVE HEROES!”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[/quote]
Poor, poor Edwin...
[quote]
[quote]Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
When you think about it, maybe most evil things just might get bored and go away by themselves in the end. But then heroes wouldn’t have jobs.
[/quote]
And if they didn't all those princesses would remain unrescued!
[quote]
[quote]“Ah…point taken. And as always, my massive mind has found a solution. There seems to be a cave right over there.”[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
What happened to not blundering into monsters nests?
[/quote]
He got distracted.
[quote]
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Well, at least its not their parents and only two Umber Hulks walking in on them right?[/quote]
LOL! No, not their parents...Edwin's parents would be bad enough, but imagine Bhaal popping in on them.
Rogues do it from behind.
#13
Laufey
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- Moderators
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Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 07:30 PM
[quote]Hi Laufey!
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
[/quote]
Ummmmm, now that Mazzy has died, everyone gathers around, cries, and talks about how wonderful she was?
[/quote]
Don't think so.
[quote]
[quote]“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
[/quote]
(*puts head in hands*) I don’t even want to think about that.
[/quote]
Maybe they would pull each others' fingers?
[quote]
[quote]“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
[/quote]
Jaheira, please stop. You’ll give Jan ideas.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” [/quote]
He can do that? It makes sense. (I don't know what D&D is like, but I used to play Rune Quest, and that's exactly the sort of thing high level clerics could do, though it wasn't easy).
[/quote]
Well, Ano can't talk *directly* to Helm, but as a reasonably high cleric, I thought it believable that he could ask for some guidance.
[quote]
[quote]“It is life, but not as we know it,” Anomen began. “This hand is not the Mazzy we knew, for one thing.”
[/quote]
Star Trek reference?
[/quote]
Yep.
[quote]
[quote]“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. [/quote]
Well, I'm relieved Mazzy's spirit made it to the afterlife. But then what is this hand? And why did it attack the shade lord?
[/quote]
Explanations forthcoming!
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
[/quote]
Ewwwweeeeeeee!!!! Valygar, with his hatred of magic, must find this especially disturbing.
[/quote]
Oh yes. That's why I did it to the poor man.
[quote]
[quote]The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers. [/quote]
(*puts head in hands*) No no no no no no no no......
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]“So Mazzy’s sacrifice was not in vain,” Anomen stated, looking pensive.
[/quote]
Anomen has a good heart.
[/quote]
He's a sweetie.
[quote]
[quote]It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. [/quote]
Oh dear. I guess it’s not surprising Anomen would have such admirers.
[/quote]
As I said, a sweetie.
[quote]
[quote]Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos.[/quote]
Just tell them to “talk to the hand,” Rini.
[/quote]
LOL! Pity I didn't think of that....
[quote]
[quote]The enthusiasm with which he returned her kiss reassured her that he was perfectly happy with that. And when she suggested that they take a little walk outside the village, just the two of them, he was happier still.
[/quote]
It’s about time they had some time together. By the way, who has the hand? I hope it’s not Edwin or Rini.
[/quote]
No, the hand is off on its own.
[quote]
[quote]Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
[/quote]
Good idea! And Jaheira is the perfect choice.
[/quote]
Yep, she'll twist his arm if he is trying to cheat them.
[quote]
And so there was. A rather large cave opened up in the cliffside in front of them, and Rini was pleased to note that it seemed both dry and clean. “Ooops…” she said. “I forgot – this floor will be rather hard, won’t it?”
[/quote]
Oh dear. This isn’t the cave with the mimic and the umber hulk, is it? Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
(*sigh*) This is so unfair.
[/quote]
[quote]
Good story! Nice ending to the Shade Lord arc.
[/quote]
[quote]
--Rick[/quote]
Thanks!
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
[/quote]
Ummmmm, now that Mazzy has died, everyone gathers around, cries, and talks about how wonderful she was?
[/quote]
Don't think so.
[quote]
[quote]“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
[/quote]
(*puts head in hands*) I don’t even want to think about that.
[/quote]
Maybe they would pull each others' fingers?
[quote]
[quote]“Come now,” Jaheira objected. “That couldn’t possibly happen. It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.”
[/quote]
Jaheira, please stop. You’ll give Jan ideas.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” [/quote]
He can do that? It makes sense. (I don't know what D&D is like, but I used to play Rune Quest, and that's exactly the sort of thing high level clerics could do, though it wasn't easy).[/quote]
Well, Ano can't talk *directly* to Helm, but as a reasonably high cleric, I thought it believable that he could ask for some guidance.
[quote]
[quote]“It is life, but not as we know it,” Anomen began. “This hand is not the Mazzy we knew, for one thing.”
[/quote]
Star Trek reference?[/quote]
Yep.
[quote]
[quote]“The soul of Mazzy is departed from this plane, as it should be,” Anomen went on. “My Lord Helm assured me of that. She has gone to meet whatever fate awaits her. [/quote]
Well, I'm relieved Mazzy's spirit made it to the afterlife. But then what is this hand? And why did it attack the shade lord?
[/quote]
Explanations forthcoming!
[quote]
[quote]“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
[/quote]
Ewwwweeeeeeee!!!! Valygar, with his hatred of magic, must find this especially disturbing.
[/quote]
Oh yes. That's why I did it to the poor man.
[quote]
[quote]The hand hesitated a moment, then extended two fingers. [/quote]
(*puts head in hands*) No no no no no no no no......
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]“So Mazzy’s sacrifice was not in vain,” Anomen stated, looking pensive.
[/quote]
Anomen has a good heart.
[/quote]
He's a sweetie.
[quote]
[quote]It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. [/quote]
Oh dear. I guess it’s not surprising Anomen would have such admirers.
[/quote]
As I said, a sweetie.
[quote]
[quote]Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos.[/quote]
Just tell them to “talk to the hand,” Rini.
[/quote]
LOL! Pity I didn't think of that....
[quote]
[quote]The enthusiasm with which he returned her kiss reassured her that he was perfectly happy with that. And when she suggested that they take a little walk outside the village, just the two of them, he was happier still.
[/quote]
It’s about time they had some time together. By the way, who has the hand? I hope it’s not Edwin or Rini.
[/quote]
No, the hand is off on its own.
[quote]
[quote]Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
[/quote]
Good idea! And Jaheira is the perfect choice.
[/quote]
Yep, she'll twist his arm if he is trying to cheat them.
[quote]
And so there was. A rather large cave opened up in the cliffside in front of them, and Rini was pleased to note that it seemed both dry and clean. “Ooops…” she said. “I forgot – this floor will be rather hard, won’t it?”
[/quote]
Oh dear. This isn’t the cave with the mimic and the umber hulk, is it? Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.[/quote]
(*sigh*) This is so unfair.
[/quote]
[quote]
Good story! Nice ending to the Shade Lord arc.
[/quote]
[quote]
--Rick[/quote]
Thanks!
Rogues do it from behind.
#14
Laufey
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Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 07:34 PM
Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
You kidding me? You know how many girls you can snag if you know how to make a really good chocolate-chocolate cake?
*smiles lustfully* Mmmm...chocolate...
Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
You know, the very idea of Short Round flipping someone off, that just amuses me greatly.
It worked for me too.
It is a hand, the…ah…equipment is not available.
I can almost imagine Jaheira blushing while she said that. Certainly not a lot, but maaaaaybe just a tiny bit...
Yes, I dare say she might have.
He then yelped as the hand flicked some dirt in his face.
Sweet.
Heh, thought you'd like that.
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
(Snicker) "Climb up the tree, not the angry Valygar!"
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=050424
*grin* Let's just say, the hand likes Val. Quite a bit.
The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions.
NICE!
That's awesome.
Ano deserves a few admirers, I think.
Some of the shapes were very forthright
The elven version of Poison Ivy?
Mmmm...sort of.
“But I fear our cleric would throw one of his tantrums if I made him go bald.”
Awwww... that's just mean.
Oh, Edwin *might* have been lying. Maybe.
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
Ah. Better.
Enough of this sappy garbage.
Your wish is my command...
Rogues do it from behind.
#15
Guest_Melle_*
Guest_Melle_*
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Posted 01 May 2005 - 09:06 PM
Well, according to that Mary Sue test recently posted, *I* am a Mary Sue, and I should instantly throw myself onto the garbage heap. So you'll pardon me for not taking any such suggestions seriously.
Hey, I never thought of taking the test that way.
...I'm not a mary sue.
If it weren't for the "Are you the same gender as yourself" style questions, I'd barely even break 15 points. *cries* I wanna be a mary sue, with magic powers and sparkly eyes!As you perhaps can tell, I'm not taking this very seriously either.
Still, better be careful with that autobiography.
#16
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 01 May 2005 - 09:15 PM
Well, according to that Mary Sue test recently posted, *I* am a Mary Sue, and I should instantly throw myself onto the garbage heap. So you'll pardon me for not taking any such suggestions seriously.
Hey, I never thought of taking the test that way.
...I'm not a mary sue.
Actually, *not* being the same gender as yourself sounds rather Sueish!
As you perhaps can tell, I'm not taking this very seriously either.
Still, better be careful with that autobiography.
You mean I shouldn't reveal that I'm really Legolas' secret twin sister?
Rogues do it from behind.
#17
Guest_Userunfriendly_*
Guest_Userunfriendly_*
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- Guests
Posted 01 May 2005 - 11:54 PM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
i really didn't notice any...
Cards Reshuffled 248 – Hero’s Welcome
yay!
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
somehow, you just knew it was to get dates, right?
“Is…is it alive?” Zaerini asked, her eyes very wide. Mazzy’s hand responded by making a very rude gesture, one that she certainly wouldn’t have expected from the live halfling.
“What does it matter?” Edwin asked, eyeing the hand with a look of extreme distaste. “I say stomp on it, and let’s be rid of it. We wouldn’t want it to…to start breeding or something.”
ewwww....
Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, his lips moving. “Ah,” he said as he raised his head again. “I see.”
shades of spock doing a vulcan mind meld, or pulling some scientific fact out of his butt, and saving the HERO from some dire monster... “She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
crawling up his trousers?
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”
best part of doing the umar hills quest...the lightening of the map...
“Depends on how you look at it, doesn’t it?” Rini said. “We wouldn’t have nearly got killed by the dragon if it wasn’t for her, but on the other hand, who knows how we’d have done against the Shade Lord without her…er…there to lend a helping hand. I’m just glad the rest of us are safe, really. And now I think we ought to be getting back to Imnesvale. I think Minister Lloyd is bound to be happy to see us.”
can't resist that joke...
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
dekkie: boy....boy....oh edwin...sigh...
It wasn’t just flowers, either. The bard couldn’t help giggling loudly as she saw Anomen hit full in the face by a pair of very lacy underpants, and the throng of enthusiastic girls who kept making the cleric some very forthright suggestions. She was rather grateful for Edwin’s menacing glower though, since that meant less enthusiastic followers on his part. Not that I don’t trust him, of course. Still, the wizard did have a few hero-worshippers of his own. A small group consisting of an elven blonde, two human brunettes and a halfling with her hair dyed a bright scarlet kept making cat-calls and all sorts of interesting innuendos. The elf was holding a pot of some sort of climbing vine, and now and then she whispered something to it, and the vines formed themselves into new shapes. Some of the shapes were very forthright, and Edwin’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets. The halfling was jumping up and down, trying to get a better look, and her grin went almost from ear to ear as she shouted something about ‘skinny-dipping’ and ‘later, cutie’. As for the two brunettes, one of them had to be a mage, for as she smiled and stretched out her hand a steady stream of little sparkling red hearts streamed out of it, circled Edwin three times and then burst into glittering dust. But it was the last one that annoyed Rini even more than all the others put together. That one didn’t say very much, simply watched and toyed idly with a strand of her hair, and the sly smirk on her face as she studied Edwin was vaguely…catty.
porno magic...
Slipping away from the Hero’s Welcome party might have been difficult, if it hadn’t been for invisibility spells. Before applying those, Zaerini drew Jaheira aside, asking her to handle the collection of the reward from the Mayor, while he was still ecstatically happy and grateful, not to mention roaring drunk. Somehow, she thought the reward might be heftier that way than if they waited until he’d had the time to get sober and decide that the Shade Lord probably would have gone away on his own anyway.
good thinking...
“Privacy above all,” Edwin said, and as they stopped to share a kiss his hands kept doing all sorts of interesting things to her that left her very short of breath. Being invisible sure didn’t affect her sense of touch one bit, which was all for the best. “In fact,” he went on, “this could prove an experiment of some interest. (Though I would greatly miss being able to see her exquisite face and form, I would enjoy rising to the challenge of satisfying her desires blindly, applying all of my erotic skills.)”
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…”
yep...
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
its a dragon! nope...its a gibberling...
yay!!!
#18
Laufey
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- Moderators
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- 18306 posts
Transcendant
Posted 02 May 2005 - 02:02 AM
Disclaimer: Contains some completely deliberate and blatant Mary Sueism.
i really didn't notice any...
Take a look at the ladies admiring Edwin...
There are lots of reasons why people go in for heroism. Money, fame, altruism or sheer death wish. But there’s one even more popular than that, one that drives people to fight dragons or demons for the promise of getting into the pants of some hero-worshipping princess. Let’s face it, you get more lovers as a hero than as a postman or baker.
somehow, you just knew it was to get dates, right?
Seems a likely reason to me!
Anomen nodded, and calmly knelt by the side of the hand. “True,” he said. “So we should ask them.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, his lips moving. “Ah,” he said as he raised his head again. “I see.”
Poor Ano, hasn't he suffered enough without getting those ears and that haircut?
“She had her vengeance,” Valygar said. “The Shade Lord has been vanquished.” He gently pushed the hand away with his foot as it tried to climb his trouser leg. It hunched up, looking quite sad.
crawling up his trousers?
Almost.
“Not all of it,” Jaheira protested. “See, the sun is coming out.”
best part of doing the umar hills quest...the lightening of the map...
I really like that bit.
Edwin’s face went suddenly very pale. “Oh no…” he wailed. “Oh no! Not that! Not again! Please tell me you won’t let them call us…”
dekkie: boy....boy....oh edwin...sigh...
“Eddie! You don’t mean to say that he’s…”
yep...
Or maybe Eddie was lying...you never know.
And there, the moment was interrupted, as a loud and piercing scream echoed through the cave.
its a dragon! nope...its a gibberling...
yay!!!
Rogues do it from behind.
#19
Arcalian
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- Inactive
- 5654 posts
Transcendent
Posted 03 May 2005 - 02:24 AM
Zaerini has always been you. Always will be.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Because it's done well.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Because it's done well.
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.
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