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[Weyoun]

Hi there!

A new Tnt is done, hope you like it!
 
Tnt 84 : Fond of fonts.

Laska lay on her belly on the edge of a short drop down, overlooking the center of the druid-grove. She still grimaced often when she felt the throbbing pain in her cheek where the druid had hit her with her staff. And she wasn't the only one. Most of her party still suffered from bruises and small wounds, while Dynaheir was still covered with insect-bites, the itch making it almost impossible for her to cast any spells. Most of Viconia's healing spells had been used to heal Laska's wounded shoulder. The elf glanced at her shoulder, it was healed, but her pale greyish skin was still showing through the damaged chainmail... she would need to have it repaired soon.

Right now, Laska was crawling down the hill onto her belly, using the shrubbery as cover. Once again, she extended her spirit to encompass and make use of the spirit of the grove, blending into nature itself. There were only two guards, and they never saw her coming. Two hands burst from the underbrush, and grabbed one male druid by the neck. A sharp twist later, the druid sank to his knees, his neck cleanly snapped.

The second druid came to investigate, but just as Laska wanted to try the trick again, Keldorn jumped from the bushed and slammed the hilt of Carsomyr into the druid's head.

Briefly, Laska wondered how the lumbering paladin, with his clanky armor and less-than-impressive finesse was able to sneak up on druid through the woods, until she noticed he wasn't making any sound at all, probably due to Dynaheir's spells. Quickly, the party gathered in front of the center, a semi-circle like structuring before the entrance of a natural cave. So far, they had not been noticed.

"Oh, look!" Minsc suddenly announced and pointed to the ground. "A friend for Boo!"

At his feet, a black gopher appeared from the ground and walked across the stones of the semi-circle. In an instant, the gophers form twisted, grew and reshaped itself... into the druid Cernd.

"Your investigations have been fruitful? Let us examine them for possible solutions to this situation. Speak what you have learned of the local druids. How are they tainted?" Cernd asked eagerly.

"'Hi and, gosh gee, you look hurt! Are you okay?'-to you to, Cernd," Imoen grimaced.

"Aye," Korgan roared. "We be doin' all the work and ye be just diggin' about the place, ye ninny! I be turned to stone earlier!"

"And I still have a bump on my head the size of fist," Viconia snarled. "Shall we apply the same to you, Cernd?"

"Err, well, yes, sorry," Cernd blushed a little. "But, did you?"

"We got our asses kicked by four druids," Laska said. "Four druids with supernatural speed and quite some endurance, mind you..."

"Hmm, interesting," Cernd said. "Commandant Fentan told Coprith the animals attacking Trademeet could endure terrible wounds before succumbing to them... It is as I feared, nature's spirit is being used to augment the power of the druid... such is a Shadow Druid technique. Shadow Druid violence is a disgrace to nature, and now that they have a hand in this area they will not stop their advance. Do you know of them? They have forsaken balance in favor of militant action. They believe they follow the Earthmother but blood is not fitting tribute."

"Have you seen the invasion army outside the grove?" Laska said. "All those animals, the trolls, the druids?"

"Yes," Cernd said. "And they will not stop at Trademeet. They'll grow until they have overrun Amn and destroyed all the cities."

"So, those druids want us civilized humans to dig in the ground and wallow in mud?" Keldorn said.

"Hey, that's not so bad," Jan piped up. "My cousin once thought he was a pig. Got hit in the head with a can of pork, you see? Anyway, he did all those things too, wallow in mud, digging in the ground... made a fortune digging for truffles, by the way... Eventually, he married a pig and had a lovely family of piglet-gnomes, though he used to squeal horribly whenever Ma brought home a slab of pork. He met with a bad ending, though. My other cousin Spam was looking for meat to start his new business and my cousin, well..."

"I don't want to know," Keldorn sighed.

"Well, Sp-meat was quite popular among griffins, bit oily, though," Jan concluded.

"Enough," Laska said. "Let's storm the place and see what happens!"

"That's... one hell of a clever plan," Viconia snorted.

"Ah, it always worked thus far," Dynaheir said.

---

The cavern was dimly lit, and, while storming into the cave, some things went very wrong. While racing towards the font, where a single druidess was standing, Minsc, Keldorn and Korgan loudly tumbled into the deep challenge pit hewn into the rocks which they didn't see in the darkness. Dynaheir was able to keep her footing, but stumbled over a rock while she was constantly itching her legs. Imoen, in her haste to take out her bow, which was strapped to her back, accidentally snapped the bowstring in her face, while Jan giggled, tried to jump over the pit... and just didn't quite made it across.

"Well, well, what have we here?" the druidess spoke. "Powerful adventurers or the Keystone Paladins?"

Coming out of the pit, Keldorn grimaced at the mention of the Keystone Paladins, a theatre group of comedians which made their livelihood out of parodying paladins and their behaviour, but let it pass.

"Look, Laska!" Imoen shouted as she and the rest of the party gathered behind Laska. "It's the bitca that tried to drown us in the Cloakwood mines!"

"Come again?" Keldorn asked.

"A year ago," Minsc said. "Minsc and friends were freeing slaves and nature from evil, and this nasty, nasty, wicked druid snuck off and tried to flood the mines with us still in it. Boo's whiskers tremble at the thought..."

"Yeah," Laska said. "I thought I ran you through, Faldorn."

"I still bear the scars of that day, Leafwalker," Faldorn snarled. She wore the same leather armor as that. Faldorn was a petite-girl, with a pouty face and a harsh look in her eyes, and that same smug smile crossing her features.

"Lets see if we can make some more!" Laska shouted, drew Ipsiya and slashed it across Faldorn's head, intending to decapitate the druidess with one foul stroke... the moonblade passed through her flesh, but as soon as the blade passed through, Faldorn's flesh instantly reconstituted itself, leaving Faldorn to mock Laska with her sardonic smile.

"Bugger..." Laska sighed.

"*I... I feel so inadequate!!*" Ipsiya wail resounded through the cavern.

"Fool!" Faldorn chuckled. "I am stronger than ever with the aid of this grove. No harm can come to me here. Such bonding is frowned upon as it drains from the earth, but the mother feeds me that I might fight for her!"

"Faldorn, you perpetrate gross crimes here! You are unfit! I challenge you, and by the rites laid down ages ago you cannot refuse!" Cernd shouted.

"No," Faldorn said.

"No?" Cernd said. "What do you mean 'no'. You cannot refuse."

"The rites of your kind do not count her anymore, fool," Faldorn snarled. "We drove out all the other druids. No, this is Shadow Druid country here and that it shall remain. We shall free nature from civilization by any means necessary and reactionary fools like you shall not stop us from allowing trees to grow in peace and reclaim the land."

"You are the fool, Faldorn," Cernd retorted. "Amn will send armies and soldiers to stop you! All of nature will suffer under the war you seek!"

"I am immortal!" Faldorn said. "And I spread my new power over my followers. A great cleansing will come and your so-called civilization will be purged without mercy!"

"Thou remindest me of someone else now," Dynaheir muttered and scratched her arms a little.

"Okay, out of the way," Laska said, and pushed a surprised Faldorn away, right into the wall before walking towards the font.

"You'll pay for that!" Faldorn screeched.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Laska snorted.

"Oh, dearrie," Jan said to Faldorn. "You remind me my sister Roberta, a nice little lass... loved nature. Of course, she loved nature and animals so much she became a vegetarian, so that no more animals needed to suffer at the hands of the meat-industry... consequently, the meat-industry was only my cousin Vinnie's butchery, but still... Anyway, but she considered it still wasn't fair, because she still ate plants! And, she figured, that even if we don't understand them, that doesn't mean that they can't think or feel... So she stopped eating vegetables as well."

"So," Faldorn asked. "What did she eat?"

"Roberta became a cannibal. She figured civilization was culture, not nature, so it was okay... Hmmm, I remember a lot of paladins disappeared from the Order after she turned cannibal."

"Excuse me?" Keldorn spoke up.

"Nah, she probably didn't eat paladins... they're too scrawny. No meat on their bones at all."

"Yoohoo!" Laska shouted at the distracted Faldorn. The druidess directed her gaze upon the elf, just as she was pouring the last of a murky brown liquid into the font. Immediately, a ripple when through the cavern, spreading outside, though the grove. The force of the sudden blow nearly knocked everyone off their feet. Afterwards, an eerie glow came only from the font.

"I've just poisoned the grove," Laska said. "Your power is broken, Faldorn."

"No, this... this can't be, NO!" Faldorn shouted and stormed at the elf. Laska smiled sardonically... and ran Faldorn through with Ipsiya. This time, blood did spurt from the wound after piercing her heart. The mad druidess gasped a moment, the shuddered violently and slid off Ipsiya, down to the ground, quite dead.

"What... what have you done?!" Cernd gasped in horror.

"I got the idea from a little halfling Im and I met outside of town before we left," Laska said. "But don't worry. Nature's spirit isn't poisoned... It's just a little drunk."

"How?" Cernd asked.

Laska took a final drought from her pocket-flask. "A shame, though," she said. "It was my best whiskey..."

"You... poured whiskey in the font?" Cernd blinked.

"Yeah," Laska said. "I figured Faldorn would only have immortality if she believed in it herself. You see, when she thought the grove was poisoned, she believed she was no longer immortal... and thus was. I got the idea from hearing Viconia yak about faith ever so often."

"Gee," Viconia muttered. "Thanks..."

---

Leaving Cernd behind them while he summoned back the ousted druids, and the now disenchanted animals had slaughtered the remaining Shadow Druids and Trolls, Laska and friends made their way back towards Trademeet, taking their time to enjoy the splendours at the grove, which were, at this time, quite unique...

Treebranches were swaying wildly in the wind, grass and flowers were hanging limply. In the lake, a crocodile was rolling on its stomach and back upright again like a playful dolphin. Fish didn't seem to know if they were coming or going. A single black bear staggered through the grove, looking silly.

"You know," Laska said. "I'm starting to feel a little woozy. Looks like I'll be getting the benefit of my whiskey anyway."

"Hey, look," Imoen, who was scouting ahead, "there's a house out there."

Indeed, a quaint little house, small but comfortable, loomed in the distance, set peacefully in the middle of the grove.

"I wonder why the Shadow Druids didn't destroy it?" Viconia muttered.

"Hmmm, there is strong protective magic surrounding the domicile," Dynaheir said.

"'Domicile'?" Imoen giggled. "Why don't you just say 'house'? That's what it is!"

"I was just trying to sound professional here," Dynaheir scoffed.

"Shall we go pay them a visit?" Laska asked while knocking on the door.

"Why are ye askin' if you plan to do it anyway?" Korgan chuckled.

"False democratic courtesy," Laska muttered when the door opened. An old little lady with a friendly smile and long grey hair answered the door.

"Hello there, dearries," the little lady spoke. "How can aunty Ithafeer help you today?"

"Say," Jan piped up. "Is it just me, or is it usual that little old ladies have tiger-heads?"

"What?!" Laska said. "You're kidding."

"Sorry," Ithafeer spoke. "My disguise..." she said, and her form shifted. Instead of a little old lady... there was now a little old Rakshasa standing in the dooropening. Her striped fur was not yellow, but grey. She stood crooked and could only walk with help of a cane. "Sorry for the deception, but I'm not as young as I used to be..."

"A foul Raksasha!" Keldorn snarled. "Laska, we must slay this user of evil magicks immediately!"

"We kill little old ladies now?" Minsc said. "Err, Boo is confused and so am I. That is not how heroes act. Heroes help little old Rakshasas cross the street, not push them into traffic."

"Down, boy," Laska sighed to Keldorn.

"But this is a member of a foul race of being evil to the core!" Keldorn snarled. "We cannot allow one as such to walk among the good."

"Ahum," sounded from Viconia, who gave Keldorn a questioning, yet intense stare.

"Ah, yes," Keldorn's cheeks colored a little. "It seems I... I might have been... Well, overreacting."

"Hey, you said it, not I," Jan chuckled. "You remind me of my cousin Backlash, who drove a cart down a street at full speed."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, except that he didn't know there was a marching band approaching. He's still trapped in that tuba, you know? We have to pour soup down the mouthpiece to keep him alive."

"Look, why don't you come in, you look hurt!" Ithafeer smiled, flashing her teeth, dulled and yellow with age.

---

"That you for the healing tea," Laska said. "My bruises are all but gone."

"And I thank thee for the healing salves!" Dynaheir said. "Finally I feel no more itch!"

"My pleasure," Ithafeer smiled. "I have always been a healer, stemming from my days living in the Muzad under Calimport."

"Ah, speaking of Calimport..." Viconia said.

"Yes, the Dao that hired you and your friend Keldorn," Ithafeer smiled and sat down at the table inside the small, yet comfortably furnished house. All kinds of paintings and memorabilia were hanging from the walls. Everywhere were herbs and reagents in jars, near a small lab where Ithafeer mixed her healing potions. "I was wondering when you'd bring them up."

"I gather you will tell us the Dao were lying?" Keldorn asked.

"Ach," Korgan chuckled, "everybody lies to us. We need to be workin' on a more violent reputation, HAR."

"The Dao are master manipulators," Ithafeer smiled. "And they have a feud against me. You see, they seek out masters that are weakminded fools. People who think they control the Dao, while, in reality, the Dao control the master though power of suggestion. The Dao once managed to get the Caliph of Calimport under their control... I exposed them, so they want me dead..."

"Cute djinn," Imoen said. "I thought you get to make wishes."

"Oh, you do," Ithafeer said. "And they have to obey it. Only they are very careful who get the hands on their lamp."

"That Calimport trader," Imoen said. "The fat dude with the harem? Sounds like a weakminded fool to me."

"Look," Ithafeer smiled, "it's getting dark and it's a long way to Trademeet. Why don't you spend the night here, I'll fix you some dinner."

"Look, I have a plan!" Imoen grinned wickedly. "Here's what we do..."

---

Sjiek Abbuh Ali set his bloated body down on his chair as he had entered his tent. So far, he was truly hating the colder climate up north, and decided he needed some warming up.

"Wives!" he shouted. "Warm me." Immediately, warm hands dipped in oil started to rub over his chest in rhythmic fashion. "Hmmm, nice, girls, very nice..."

Again, the sjiek felt a cold draft blowing over his bloated tummy, informing her that the tent-flap had been opened. He looked up, and what he saw took his breath away. A gorgeous strawberry-blonde half-elf had entered the tent. She was barefoot, had a short, red skirt wrapped around her waist. Her midriff was bared and showed a tight abdomen. Her chest was barely covered with a slightly transparent cloth. Last, but not least, the green-eyed, exotic half-elf wore a beautiful transparent veil.

"You are sjiek Ali," the half-elf spoke.

"Away," the sjiek waved his girls away. "My dear lady, please... How can this humble camel-herder help you?"

"I... I have been spying you from afar," the half-elf spoke in a sultry voice. "And I like what I see."

"Really?" the sjiek grinned. "Well, I am a very impressive man."

"So virile, so strong, so magnificent, so... large," the half-elf spoke. "I... I wish you to take me away from this place! Take me with you to explore the world."

"Really? You wish me?"

"I will repay you," the half-elf smiled. "My elven blood... knows passion unbound, if only you take me away."

"Well, dear lady," the sjiek gulped. "That is an offer I cannot resist..."

"Look but don't touch!" the half-elf spoke as she jumped back when the sjiek attempted to grab her. "I only ask that you take care of my jealous lover," the half-elf added. "She is... so stiflingly possessive, and when she finds out that I've felt her, she'll be... angry."

"A-angry?" the sjiek gulped.

"Oh, it will be no problem for such a handsome, virile man as you. No doubt you will be able to defeat her in battle."

At that precise moment, an extremely angry and fully armored elven maid sliced through the back of the tent and jumped inside. "WHERE IS HE?!" she snarled angrily. "Rose! You are MINE! Tell me where he is and I will CARVE HIM TO PIECES!"

"EEEK!" the sjiek cried and hid behind his chair.

"It's over between us Laska!" Rose snarled. "Here! This man is my new lover... and he shall destroy you utterly!"

"Now, now!" the sjiek trembled in fear. "L-lets not b-be too h-hasty. I mean, lets talk about this!"

"I don't wanna talk!" Laska snarled. "I wanna spill your guts all over the street!"

"But I only..."

"I'll EAT YOUR BRAIN!" Laska snarled.

"DJINNIES, protect your master!" the sjiek took the lamp from his pocket into his trembling hand and attempted to rub it, but...

"YOINK!" Imoen giggled as she darted from the shadows and snatched the lamp from the sjiek's hand.

"Well done, Im!" Laska chuckled while Rose removed her veil and snaked an arm around Laska's waist in a loving fashion.

In a moment, Imoen rubbed the lamp. In a puff of purple smoke, five Dao Djinn appeared, scimitars in hand.

"Mas... mistress?" the lead Dao spoke. "It seems we have a change of owner. Well, mistress, allow me to introduce myself and..."

"Shut up!" Imoen snarled imperiously. "I am Imoen the Bloody, Warlord of the North, Ravager of cities and clubber of baby-seals! You will follow my commands or suffer the consequences."

"Y-yes, mistress," the Dao gulped. "Your wish is my command."

"I have only two wishes. First of all, you will free all the women in Ali's harem from their enchantments!" Imoen snarled. "The Dao twitched and nodded. Immediately, the women were free. From the look of it, the sjiek had a thing for strong women, since most of them were experienced adventurers... and they were now approaching the trembling sjiek with murder in their eyes.

"Second of all, I have a wish directed at you Dao," Imoen grinned.

"We... have to obey," the Dao spoke fearfully.

"Then here it is," Imoen snarled. "GET LOST!!!!"

"NOOOOO!" the Dao shouted as a black void opened behind them. The Dao and the lamp were sucked into the void, their shouts of anger and terror diminishing as they fell deeper and deeper into the void before it closed forever.

"Gee, that was fun," Imoen chuckled. In the meantime, members of the angry ex-harem were dragging the screaming sjiek outside while others helped themselves to his riches, an ample compensation for their undignified treatment.

"Hmmm," Laska said while kissing Rose. "Sorry you had to go through that."

"Oh, I went through worse," Rose said. "And acting was no problem. I did that a lot during my... previous profession."

"Still," Laska said. "I'll make it up to you by taking you out to dinner. You... could wear that outfit."

"Is that all you ever think about?" Rose grinned and playfully swatted at Laska's arm.

"Most of the time, yes," Laska chuckled and let her hands run over Rose's bare back as they embraced.

"Uh-oh," Laska said while she looked outside the tent. Several of the angry women were throwing a rope over the branch of a tree and were tying a noose around the sjiek's neck. "Better put a stop to that. That branch will never hold that fat bloke... The poor tree..."

As Laska and Rose ran out to intervene, Imoen looked at the purse which she had lifted from the sjiek. Opening it, she found a dozen of precious gems and a jewel-studded pendant. "Hmmm, let's go shopping!" Imoen smiled and walked outside.
 

That's it! Thanks for reading!

More Tnt soon!

Have a nice day,
---Weyoun

[Sumpton]

A great 'harmless' way of handling both of Trademeets problems.

Thanks...

[Laufey]

Laska lay on her belly on the edge of a short drop down, overlooking the center of the druid-grove. She still grimaced often when she felt the throbbing pain in her cheek where the druid had hit her with her staff. And she wasn't the only one. Most of her party still suffered from bruises and small wounds, while Dynaheir was still covered with insect-bites, the itch making it almost impossible for her to cast any spells. Most of Viconia's healing spells had been used to heal Laska's wounded shoulder. The elf glanced at her shoulder, it was healed, but her pale greyish skin was still showing through the damaged chainmail... she would need to have it repaired soon.

Insect Plague. A lovely spell - unless it's used *against* you.

The second druid came to investigate, but just as Laska wanted to try the trick again, Keldorn jumped from the bushed and slammed the hilt of Carsomyr into the druid's head.

A stealthy paladin? Wonders never cease...

At his feet, a black gopher appeared from the ground and walked across the stones of the semi-circle. In an instant, the gophers form twisted, grew and reshaped itself... into the druid Cernd.

"Your investigations have been fruitful? Let us examine them for possible solutions to this situation. Speak what you have learned of the local druids. How are they tainted?" Cernd asked eagerly.

"'Hi and, gosh gee, you look hurt! Are you okay?'-to you to, Cernd," Imoen grimaced.

LOL! Somehow, the gopher form seems very appropriate.

"Hey, that's not so bad," Jan piped up. "My cousin once thought he was a pig. Got hit in the head with a can of pork, you see? Anyway, he did all those things too, wallow in mud, digging in the ground... made a fortune digging for truffles, by the way... Eventually, he married a pig and had a lovely family of piglet-gnomes, though he used to squeal horribly whenever Ma brought home a slab of pork. He met with a bad ending, though. My other cousin Spam was looking for meat to start his new business and my cousin, well..."

Cute...

"Well, well, what have we here?" the druidess spoke. "Powerful adventurers or the Keystone Paladins?"

Coming out of the pit, Keldorn grimaced at the mention of the Keystone Paladins, a theatre group of comedians which made their livelihood out of parodying paladins and their behaviour, but let it pass.

*grin* Must frequently be difficult to tell the difference.

"Faldorn, you perpetrate gross crimes here! You are unfit! I challenge you, and by the rites laid down ages ago you cannot refuse!" Cernd shouted.

"No," Faldorn said.

No?

"No?" Cernd said. "What do you mean 'no'. You cannot refuse."

"The rites of your kind do not count her anymore, fool," Faldorn snarled. "We drove out all the other druids. No, this is Shadow Druid country here and that it shall remain. We shall free nature from civilization by any means necessary and reactionary fools like you shall not stop us from allowing trees to grow in peace and reclaim the land."

Oh...

"I am immortal!" Faldorn said. "And I spread my new power over my followers. A great cleansing will come and your so-called civilization will be purged without mercy!"

"Thou remindest me of someone else now," Dynaheir muttered and scratched her arms a little.

Ajantis the plumber?

"Oh, dearrie," Jan said to Faldorn. "You remind me my sister Roberta, a nice little lass... loved nature. Of course, she loved nature and animals so much she became a vegetarian, so that no more animals needed to suffer at the hands of the meat-industry... consequently, the meat-industry was only my cousin Vinnie's butchery, but still... Anyway, but she considered it still wasn't fair, because she still ate plants! And, she figured, that even if we don't understand them, that doesn't mean that they can't think or feel... So she stopped eating vegetables as well."

"So," Faldorn asked. "What did she eat?"

"Roberta became a cannibal. She figured civilization was culture, not nature, so it was okay... Hmmm, I remember a lot of paladins disappeared from the Order after she turned cannibal."

ROFLMAO!

"Excuse me?" Keldorn spoke up.

"Nah, she probably didn't eat paladins... they're too scrawny. No meat on their bones at all."

Vadrak Dekaras: She should have tried the heads. Plenty of meat there, usually.

"I got the idea from a little halfling Im and I met outside of town before we left," Laska said. "But don't worry. Nature's spirit isn't poisoned... It's just a little drunk."

"How?" Cernd asked.

Laska took a final drought from her pocket-flask. "A shame, though," she said. "It was my best whiskey..."

Oh, that was *so* perfect!

"Sorry," Ithafeer spoke. "My disguise..." she said, and her form shifted. Instead of a little old lady... there was now a little old Rakshasa standing in the dooropening. Her striped fur was not yellow, but grey. She stood crooked and could only walk with help of a cane. "Sorry for the deception, but I'm not as young as I used to be..."

"A foul Raksasha!" Keldorn snarled. "Laska, we must slay this user of evil magicks immediately!"

"We kill little old ladies now?" Minsc said. "Err, Boo is confused and so am I. That is not how heroes act. Heroes help little old Rakshasas cross the street, not push them into traffic."

I sense another nice twist coming up.

"But this is a member of a foul race of being evil to the core!" Keldorn snarled. "We cannot allow one as such to walk among the good."

"Ahum," sounded from Viconia, who gave Keldorn a questioning, yet intense stare.

Keldorn, you're backsliding...

"Really?" the sjiek grinned. "Well, I am a very impressive man."

"So virile, so strong, so magnificent, so... large," the half-elf spoke. "I... I wish you to take me away from this place! Take me with you to explore the world."

And your beard is sooooo...twisted!

"Now, now!" the sjiek trembled in fear. "L-lets not b-be too h-hasty. I mean, lets talk about this!"

*snicker*

"I have only two wishes. First of all, you will free all the women in Ali's harem from their enchantments!" Imoen snarled. "The Dao twitched and nodded. Immediately, the women were free. From the look of it, the sjiek had a thing for strong women, since most of them were experienced adventurers... and they were now approaching the trembling sjiek with murder in their eyes.

Serves him right.

"We... have to obey," the Dao spoke fearfully.

"Then here it is," Imoen snarled. "GET LOST!!!!"

"NOOOOO!" the Dao shouted as a black void opened behind them. The Dao and the lamp were sucked into the void, their shouts of anger and terror diminishing as they fell deeper and deeper into the void before it closed forever.

LOL! Clever Immy!

As Laska and Rose ran out to intervene, Imoen looked at the purse which she had lifted from the sjiek. Opening it, she found a dozen of precious gems and a jewel-studded pendant. "Hmmm, let's go shopping!" Imoen smiled and walked outside.
 

Loved it, of course!

[Weyoun]

Insect Plague. A lovely spell - unless it's used *against* you.

I really hate it myself. It's supposed to be a druid-spell, but in Tob normal clerics seem to have it too. I call that cheating.

A stealthy paladin? Wonders never cease...

Well, cast enough spells on it and even a brontosaurus would be as quiet as a mouse.

LOL! Somehow, the gopher form seems very appropriate.

*grins evilly*

*grin* Must frequently be difficult to tell the difference.

Heheheheh, doesn;t it, though.

No?

Oh...

A bit twisty, perhaps.

Ajantis the plumber?

No, Ajantis the sewerworker.

ROFLMAO!

Just a slight jab at vegetarism.

Vadrak Dekaras: She should have tried the heads. Plenty of meat there, usually.

Yep. Lost a daughter and gained a meat-head.

Oh, that was *so* perfect!

*grin* Thank you!

LAska : *grumbles* I want my whiskey back.

I sense another nice twist coming up.

*grin* I love twists.

Keldorn, you're backsliding...

Just for a moment, though.

And your beard is sooooo...twisted!

LOL! He's not a dervish, though. Not nearly wise enough.

*snicker*

*grins*

Serves him right.

He's not going to enjoy their wrath.

LOL! Clever Immy!

And they'll never get out again.

Loved it, of course!

Thanks! And thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

Ouch! I never thought of that! A nasty spell.

I think it's horrid. All those insects swirling around you... very scary.

Immy sarcastic! Wow.

It could happen.

Poor Keldorn, he always lets Jan get to him

LOL! At least Jan didn't mention adult diapers.

Her portrait in BG1 is about me waken up too early. Not the features but the general impression.

I take it you're not a morning person, then?

Hmm, she could found a militant subsection for Greenpeace.

She'd make an excellent eco-terrorist.

LOLOL! What a... a... Laska solution!

Thank you!

Laska : Though I wasn't happy to waste my whiskey on a font...

ROFL! 'yak'!

Couldn't resist.

Hey, I really liked this

I love putting in twists like this...

Is he really that dense...

Yep...

Well done!

Thank you!

"Then here it is," Imoen snarled. "GET LOST!!!!"

I was anticipating something along the lines of anal insertions... but then, Immy is not Peri.

Well, it would be fitting, but A) I don't think those Djinn have butts looking at their ars and they'd still be there afterward.

Really nice original solutions

Thank you! And thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

A great 'harmless' way of handling both of Trademeets problems.

Thanks...

No, thank you for commenting!
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

Good chapter. If you had faldorn in the party in BG1 when in Cloakwood, did she really try to drown you?

No, that's my own fabrication.

Thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

LOL, it *is* a friend of Boo! I wish he could change himself into a rodent in the game too...

That would be a thing to behold.

Cute. Dumb, but cute. And he's not even a natural blonde! Well, natural enough, but no blonde...

LOL! They don't come more natural than Cernd.

"Commandant"? Sounds a bit Dutch to me

That too. But it's also an American rank for the head of a military or naval academy.

LOL. Spam, spam, spam, spam spam....

Wonderful spam!

Go Laska!

*grin*

Well, that will teach them for making excellent parody material.

But paladins never learn their lesson.

Ye gods, a moonblade with fear of failure.

It could happen!

LOL, brilliant drinking, uh, thinking

LOL! Thankees!

Come on Im, it's Dynaheir!

LOL!

SLAM! Score again for Jan

Jan is full of wonderful story-material.

Is that how you spell it?

It wasn;t a reference to Ayaan, I swear! Actually, he's typical of the Calimport elite. Rotten to the core and quite keen on slavery.

at Imoen

Gotta love her, ey?

Go Immy!!! *grin* clubber of seals... you forget "soul-stealer of cookies..."

She's cute when she pretends to be evil.

Another excellent piece!

Thanks! And thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

That was a nasty battle...

Laska : You can say that again.

Kane: Go Laska!

Laska : *grins evilly* I like breaking necks... It's very clean.

Weyoun : Don't scare the readers, Las!

Oh no, not him again!

*grin* Sorry..

I really didn't need to know that...I don't think I'm going to eevr be able to eat meat again...

Oh, it's not that bad. Just don't buy any mystery-meat!

*laughs* Oh dear...

It didn't go very well.

I hate her.

Me too.

*laughs*

It's a Laska-solution.

Emma: *shakes her head* Oh Minsc...

He's great, though.

Awww!

*smile*

Great chapter.

Thank you! And thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun

[Anaviel]

I have finally caught up with this series and I must say, I love it .

Laska lay on her belly on the edge of a short drop down, overlooking the center of the druid-grove. She still grimaced often when she felt the throbbing pain in her cheek where the druid had hit her with her staff. And she wasn't the only one. Most of her party still suffered from bruises and small wounds, while Dynaheir was still covered with insect-bites, the itch

Poor Dyna..getting eaten alive by an insect plague can't be fun.

At his feet, a black gopher appeared from the ground and walked across the stones of the semi-circle. In an instant, the gophers form twisted, grew and reshaped itself... into the druid Cernd.

Cernd the Gopher...fits him real well *Whines* I wanna be able to shape shift too.

"Hey, that's not so bad," Jan piped up. "My cousin once thought he was a pig. Got hit in the head with a can of pork, you see? Anyway, he did all those things too, wallow in mud, digging in the ground... made a fortune digging for truffles, by the way... Eventually, he married a pig and had a lovely family of piglet-gnomes, though he used to squeal horribly whenever Ma brought home a slab of pork. He met with a bad ending, though. My other cousin Spam was looking for meat to start his new business and my cousin, well..."

LOL

Coming out of the pit, Keldorn grimaced at the mention of the Keystone Paladins, a theatre group of comedians which made their livelihood out of parodying paladins and their behaviour, but let it pass.

LOL it's always fun to make fun of the paladunces

"Lets see if we can make some more!" Laska shouted, drew Ipsiya and slashed it across Faldorn's head, intending to decapitate the druidess with one foul stroke... the moonblade passed through her flesh, but as soon as the blade passed through, Faldorn's flesh instantly reconstituted itself, leaving Faldorn to mock Laska with her sardonic smile.

Don't ya just hate when that happens?

"I am immortal!" Faldorn said. "And I spread my new power over my followers. A great cleansing will come and your so-called civilization will be purged without mercy!"

I think Faldorn would make an execellent member of the Enviromental Liberation Front..

"Oh, dearrie," Jan said to Faldorn. "You remind me my sister Roberta, a nice little lass... loved nature. Of course, she loved nature and animals so much she became a vegetarian, so that no more animals needed to suffer at the hands of the meat-industry... consequently, the meat-industry was only my cousin Vinnie's butchery, but still... Anyway, but she considered it still wasn't fair, because she still ate plants! And, she figured, that even if we don't understand them, that doesn't mean that they can't think or feel... So she stopped eating vegetables as well."

Even turnips? I thought all gnomes ate turnips

"No, this... this can't be, NO!" Faldorn shouted and stormed at the elf. Laska smiled sardonically... and ran Faldorn through with Ipsiya. This time, blood did spurt from the wound after piercing her heart. The mad druidess gasped a moment, the shuddered violently and slid off Ipsiya, down to the ground, quite dead.

Go Laska! Now let's just Faldorn stays dead this time .

"Yeah," Laska said. "I figured Faldorn would only have immortality if she believed in it herself. You see, when she thought the grove was poisoned, she believed she was no longer immortal... and thus was. I got the idea from hearing Viconia yak about faith ever so often."

Never underestimate the power of belief

"Hmmm, there is strong protective magic surrounding the domicile," Dynaheir said.

"'Domicile'?" Imoen giggled. "Why don't you just say 'house'? That's what it is!"

"I was just trying to sound professional here," Dynaheir scoffed.

LOL

"We kill little old ladies now?" Minsc said. "Err, Boo is confused and so am I. That is not how heroes act. Heroes help little old Rakshasas cross the street, not push them into traffic."

I think Minsc and Boo are the wise ones here .

"But this is a member of a foul race of being evil to the core!" Keldorn snarled. "We cannot allow one as such to walk among the good."

Someones a little bloodthirsty today.

"Ah, yes," Keldorn's cheeks colored a little. "It seems I... I might have been... Well, overreacting."

Oh just a tad .

"Nothing, except that he didn't know there was a marching band approaching. He's still trapped in that tuba, you know? We have to pour soup down the mouthpiece to keep him alive."

LOL

"I'll EAT YOUR BRAIN!" Laska snarled.

Assuming that he posesses one .

"YOINK!" Imoen giggled as she darted from the shadows and snatched the lamp from the sjiek's hand.

Go Imoen!

"Shut up!" Imoen snarled imperiously. "I am Imoen the Bloody, Warlord of the North, Ravager of cities and clubber of baby-seals! You will follow my commands or suffer the consequences."

Imoen's quite the actress

"Then here it is," Imoen snarled. "GET LOST!!!!"

Go Immy!

"Oh, I went through worse," Rose said. "And acting was no problem. I did that a lot during my... previous profession."

Laska and Rose did quite the acting job, didn't they?

"Uh-oh," Laska said while she looked outside the tent. Several of the angry women were throwing a rope over the branch of a tree and were tying a noose around the sjiek's neck. "Better put a stop to that. That branch will never hold that fat bloke... The poor tree..."

LOL

As Laska and Rose ran out to intervene, Imoen looked at the purse which she had lifted from the sjiek. Opening it, she found a dozen of precious gems and a jewel-studded pendant. "Hmmm, let's go shopping!" Imoen smiled and walked outside.
 

Great story I'm looking forward to more.

[Weyoun]

LOL! A gopher...seems fitting.

Couldn't resist.

The Wolf: *grins* Love it.

Thankee!

The Wolf: Bad sport! Can't even kill her!

Immortal druids suck!

The Wolf: *much evil laughter*

*grins* No Faldorn fan, it seems.

LMAO! Love it, hilarious.

Glad to hear it!

The Wolf: *grins* Interesting...

Gorgorath: *giggles*

Specter: How *hic* very *hic* lovely.

The Wolf: Oh dear.

That's one drunken grove, ey?

hehehe...BUSTED!

Indeed! Keldorn had a bit of a lapse there.

I love how you give new life and personality to such characters.

Thanks! I love writing things differently, if only slightly.

The Wolf: *grins* That's Rose.

Cute, eh?

"Shut up!" Imoen snarled imperiously. "I am Imoen the Bloody, Warlord of the North, Ravager of cities and clubber of baby-seals! You will follow my commands or suffer the consequences."

LMAO! Too...funny...*falls off chair*

Imoen trying to be evil.

Great story,
Loved it,
H'kira n' the Wolf

Thanks! And thanks for commenting.
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

You are as unorthodox as ever.

Thanks! I love doing things differently.

This must be really annoying! And I mean REALLY

I really hate that spell, I really do...

Oh, I love this. It is very smart way to spy on the druids and very *elvish*

Thank you. Laska does have to do things the elven way, of course.

Oh, it is Cernd all right , all his annoying self

LOL! Well said.

Gulp. That's the spirit! Yep, I cannot eat meat or plants s I will be cannibal, maketh sense NOT!

Just a little jab at vegitarians. Plus, they're jansens... nothing makes sense to them!

Hey tat was ingenious! I laughed my head off.

*bows* Thank you very much!

Loved that one, giggle

One of the many good points of communing with nature.

And that one too. You know - your fantasy is simply unbelievably inventive!

*bows* Thanks again! You're really giving me a lot of praise here!

Loved it all.

CHEERS!

Thanks and thanks! Thanks for commenting too!
---Weyoun

[Weyoun]

I have finally caught up with this series and I must say, I love it .

Hey, there Anaviel! Long time no see! I'm happy to hear you're liking my story so far!

Poor Dyna..getting eaten alive by an insect plague can't be fun.

Terrible spell, that one.

Cernd the Gopher...fits him real well *Whines* I wanna be able to shape shift too.

I'd like to do that too. I'd shift into a bird and fly around for a bit, I think.

LOL it's always fun to make fun of the paladunces

Very much so!

Don't ya just hate when that happens?

Laska : I certainly do...

I think Faldorn would make an execellent member of the Enviromental Liberation Front..

She'd blow up people to protect a patch of grass, allright....

Even turnips? I thought all gnomes ate turnips

It just shows how nuts she is!

Go Laska! Now let's just Faldorn stays dead this time .

I'm pretty sure she does!

Never underestimate the power of belief

LOL! I can shape the planes!

I think Minsc and Boo are the wise ones here .

They usually are, aren't they?

Someones a little bloodthirsty today.

*grin* Yep.

Oh just a tad .

At least he admits to his mistake.

Assuming that he posesses one .

LOL! I doubt it!

Imoen's quite the actress

She's just being cute, as always.

Go Immy!

*smiles*

"Uh-oh," Laska said while she looked outside the tent. Several of the angry women were throwing a rope over the branch of a tree and were tying a noose around the sjiek's neck. "Better put a stop to that. That branch will never hold that fat bloke... The poor tree..."

LOL

You have to consider the trees, of course.

Great story I'm looking forward to more.

Tomorrow!

Thanks for commenting,
---Weyoun