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Perilous Plants 11


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#1 Laufey

Posted 10 January 2005 - 06:45 PM

Chapter 11

Watch me now!
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.
I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace,
And you've got me fightin' mad
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,
Gonna trash your ass,
Gonna rock this place,
'Cause I'm mean and green and I am bad

‘Mean Green Mother From Outer Space’, Little Shop Of Horrors


The two later appearing assassins hadn’t had time to take more than a few steps towards Rory Ravonar when the wizard finished his spell, directing it toward the Dekaras who was having to make a real effort with the zombies. However, then something odd happened. The spell didn’t fizzle, not exactly, but it also didn’t go off as it should. Instead, it hung between Ravonar’s fingers like a limp rag, glowing a bright green. Ravonar himself was looking very confused, squinting and peering at his own fingers as if he couldn’t see them properly, right up until the point when he lost control of the spell and it evaporated. “What?!” the wizard snarled. “How…my eyes! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYES?”

“An extract of nightshade,” said the first Dekaras, and then dodged a blow from one of the zombies. He didn’t seem to have to make as much of an effort now…were the zombies moving more slowly? “I’m afraid any spellcasting will be out of the question for you during the next few hours, your eyes are currently incapable of accommodating properly for changes in light intensity.”

“Really now,” said the second assassin, smirking a little. “You shouldn’t let your handkerchiefs flop about that loosely in your sleeve, not if you intend to use them anywhere near your eyes, nose or mouth.”

“Yes,” the third one calmly agreed. “There are so many untrustworthy individuals about these days.”

Rory was sweating even more heavily than before, looking violently ill. He was backing away from the assassins, his eyes darting nervously from one to the other.“I…you…you won’t get away with this! My zombies will…”

There was a loud thud. Then another, and another. Edwin watched in amazement as the zombies dropped to the ground, utterly lifeless. Little green vines slithered out of their ears and noses, twitching and dying in small puddles of slime even before they could emerge fully.

“Your zombies,” said one Dekaras, “seem to have met with some difficulty.”

“It might have something to do,” mused the second one, “with you feeding the controlling mother plant Sapphire Seed Feed.”

“Or to be exact,” said the third one, “Sapphire Seed Feed spiked with strong salt. The salt crystals are entirely invisible among the blue crystals of the plant food; did you know that? No, I don’t suppose you did.”

Ravonar’s breathing was heavy enough by now that he sounded like a bull getting ready to charge, and in the semi-darkness inside the tent the whites of his eyes were very clearly visible. “You…think you’re very clever don’t you?” he asked, taking another step backwards. “But you can’t win! I haven’t yet made an outright attack upon the Tharchion…his edict still stands! If you kill me, your Mistress will be blamed for it, and will be punished! You have to let me go! And I’ll be back, you know I will! And then you will all suffer for…” He suddenly broke off. There was a small, tapping sound as something touched his shoulder from behind. Then it snaked forwards, something green, something slithery and very strong as it wrapped itself around his waist. Rory Ravonar looked behind himself, looked upwards to see the vast, fleshy petals of Elvira 2 bending over him. The petals were opening, opening in what resembled a hungry leer, and behind them there were other petals, sharp, hard, white ones, and a purple protuberance that had something very tongue-like about it.

YUMMY! Elvira 2 said, in a heavy, deep voice that made the tent tremble. YUMMY FOR THE TUMMY! The tendrils tightened, and Rory Ravonar screamed as he was raised into the air above that perpetually hungry mouth. The scream was abruptly cut off at about the point when his feet disappeared from sight. Edwin was watching this with a mixture of fascination and horror, and there was one single thought going through his head, again and again. She’ll grow…she’ll grow again! And then…and then she’ll want to eat again, and again, and again…He was still holding onto the hands of his Simulacrums, but he could feel them getting more insubstantial by the second, and then the two other boys were simply gone, disappeared into nothingness. Now he was all alone…and soon Elvira 2 would come for him and try to gobble him up.

A strange sound cut off the boy’s horrified musings. A choked, gasping sound, and it was coming from Elvira 2. The plant was beating its leaves on the ground in what seemed to be a very panicked fashion, the tendrils were writhing with pain, and the petals were turning a sickly pale purple. About mid-level down her stem, Edwin could see the huge bulge that had been Rory Ravonar. She’s choking! He’s too fat, and now she’s choking on him! And indeed she was. The plant bucked and writhed, more and more frantically, screaming in that choked voice once again, and then it collapsed, drooping heavily towards the floor. There was a final, faint cry of Feeed…meeeeee… and Elvira 2 fell silent for good.

Edwin carefully came out from behind the crate, his legs trembling a little. “Teacher Dekaras?” he asked, surprised at how small his voice sounded. “Are mother and father going to be all right?”

The assassin nodded. Well, all three of them did, actually. “They will,” said one of them. “They are already coming to, see?”

He was right. Edwin drew a vast sigh of relief as he saw his parents stirring. He hadn’t realized until now exactly how worried he’d been.

“Ravonar, you rotten scoundrel!” said Galen, his voice loud and indignant. “Why, you deserve to be thoroughly trashed and…” Then he fell silent, his mouth gaping open with horror. “My…my treasure! My darling! Oh no!” Within a few seconds, he was bending anxiously over Elvira 2, clucking at her and trying to revive her.

Elvira woke up a bit more suddenly, and a lot more aggressively. “DIE RAVONAR, YOU WALKING PIECE OF OFFAL!” she screamed, and then she looked at her own hands with some confusion. “What…my spells? How…” Then, her eyes widened as she noticed the three assassins before her, all of them simultaneously giving her an amused little bow. “All right,” she said, frowning. “What has been going on here?”

“Briefly put,” one of the assassins said, “Rory Ravonar made the mistake of not watching where he was going, and your…ah…namesake…made the mistake of not chewing carefully enough before swallowing.”

“A tragic accident, really,” said the second one. “And as he was expressly forbidden from going into this tent, or those of any other contestants, the Tharchion is certain to understand that he had only himself to blame.”

“As for us,” the third one said, “it seemed reasonable to take advantage of Edwin’s purloined toy in order to tip the scales to our advantage. Anything one of us can do, three can do better.”

Edwin noticed a very pleased smile spreading across his mother’s face at that point, and her eyes were glittering eagerly. “Yes…” she said. “Yes, so I can easily imagine. So, do you have any idea about how long these Simulacrums will last?”

“At the very least a day or so, depending on the level of strain.”

“Oh…good.” Her smile was really wide now. “Yes, I’m sure I can think of some interesting tasks to keep all three of you occupied.”

Edwin noticed that his teacher didn’t reply to that, except with another formal bow, and that puzzled him a little, but then he suddenly had something infinitely more important on his mind. He’d almost missed them, what with all the confusion, but there they still were…exactly where they had dropped to the ground. Edwin eagerly gathered the multitude of small, white objects into his hands, and then held them up proudly. “Mother! Teacher Dekaras! Look, look what I got! Look how many there are, and it’s all fair and square too, ‘cause I knocked them out myself, well actually my frog did, but that still counts, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? The Tooth Fairy will pay me for them, won’t she?”

His mother looked at the teeth that were the sole remains of Rory Ravonar, and then she gave him a delighted kiss on the cheek. “Oh yes, darling. I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will be delighted to collect them. Don’t you agree, Master Dekaras?”

The three assassins sighed, pretty much simultaneously. “Of course,” said one of them, and by now Edwin thought he could just about make out that this one looked a little more solid, a little more real. “Perhaps she can fetch them all at once, for maximum efficiency.”

“But,” Edwin said, “You said before that the Tooth Fairy only wants to collect teeth one at a time…”

“Yes,” the assassin conceded, looking simultaneously annoyed and amused by something. “Yes, I did, didn’t I? Very well. I suppose the Tooth Fairy will simply have to run herself ragged over the next week or so…but she’ll manage, I’m sure.”

“Yes,” Elvira said, still smiling. “Somehow, the Tooth Fairy always does.”
Rogues do it from behind.




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