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Perilous Plants 8


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#1 Laufey

Posted 10 January 2005 - 06:41 PM

Chapter 8

I'm your genie, I'm your friend
I'm your willing slave
Take a chance, just feed me and
You know the kinda eats,
The kinda red hot treats
The kinda sticky licky sweets
I crave

‘Feed Me’, Little Shop Of Horrors


The noose-like vine shot out from the tree’s branches with the speed of a striking snake, aiming for his neck, and now there was an opening visible in the trunk, a yawning opening with many sharp growths around it. That was where the smell was coming from, he realized even as he leapt backwards with a curse, narrowly evading the noose. Not an oak…a Hangman Tree! He dodged another noose, nimbly evaded tripping over a bag filled with the sparkling blue crystals of Sapphire Seed Feed, and that was that. As he retreated out the door, more nooses slapped against it, trying to catch him and drag him into the tree’s acid-filled pit of a stomach. Fortunately the tree didn’t try to force the door, something it easily could have done. They were supposed to be at least semi-intelligent, presumably Ravonar had it tamed to some extent. Which is very fortunate for me. Dekaras paused for a few moments, until his breathing calmed down. Now that his head cleared he could recognize the hallucinatory effect of the fumes emanating from the tree, the fumes meant to entice its prey closer. Well, undoubtedly a lot of people would love to see me wind up on the end of a noose – not tonight though.

How to penetrate the greenhouse though, and get at Ravonar’s entry for the competition? A direct assault seemed impossible. The plants must have been primed to attack all strangers on sight – or whatever passed for sight when you were talking about plants. Worse, he didn’t know which plant or plants he needed to take out. Ravonar had mentioned ‘the yellow one’ and ‘the other one’. The yellow might possibly be the one with the thorns, but there was no way to be certain, and the ‘other one’ could be anything. Short of burning the entire greenhouse to the ground there didn’t seem to be any way to be certain of killing the proper plants, and that was out of the question. Not merely because it went against all his instincts either, such an act of open vandalism might well attract the Tharchion’s attention, and cause unwanted consequences. No, subtlety it would have to be…somehow.

I will have to think about this…carefully. But this is not the place to do so. Time to go home.

-*-

“All right, everybody together now!” Edwin waved imperiously to his two clones. “The spell first, then the song, right?”

“I still think we should just do the spell,” said Edwin 2. He was looking very grumpy. “That song is silly.”

“Do! Id’st a great sodg!” Edwin 3 looked on the verge of hitting his ‘brother’ again, and Edwin had to step between them.

“Will you two shut up and stop it?” he said. “The spell will work, but the song can’t hurt…and we want to do anything we can to help out Teacher Dekaras, right?”

The two other Edwins nodded. That, at least, was one thing they could all agree on. The three boys focused on the piece of raw beef that lay on the ground, just out of Elvira 2’s reach. The plant was opening and closing its mouth hungrily, and her tentacles were weaving with agitation. Not only that, but there was a low voice emerging from her…deep and almost inaudible.

Feed me…feed me…feed me…

The sound of that voice was enough to give all three Edwins the willies, but none of them wanted to admit it. Instead they concentrated as well as they could. They had managed to sneak into their mother’s study earlier in the evening, and found something that seemed very useful. Not the exact same spell that she had used, but something similar, that surely ought to work. Now they intoned the spell, as carefully as they could, and soon blood began to seep out of the beef, dribbling into the ground around Elvira 2. The plant keened with terrible hunger, drinking it all up.

“Blood…blood…blood…” The boys chanted together, having switched from the spell to their musical offering of choice. It wasn’t really a song meant for childish soprano voices, but somehow that made it even creepier.

“Blood…gore…blood…”

“Gore…blood…gore…”

“What’s the next line?” Edwin 2 hissed.

Edwin thought for a few seconds. “Er…think it’s ‘Guts…gore…guts…”

“Right. Guts…gore…guts…”

“And what, might I ask, is the exact reason for this little charming serenade?”

“No, no,” Edwin said without turning around. “The next line is ‘Blood…blood…blood’ all over agai…” Then he noticed the horrified expressions on his counterparts’ faces and there was a terrible sinking feeling to his stomach. “Er…hello, Teacher Dekaras…” he said as he turned around, a sickly smile on his face. “Er…it’s an old orcish courting song that was in a book in the library…by the way, what’s courting?”

“Something that you will learn more about as you grow up, possibly providing you with interesting long-term consequences,” the assassin coolly said. His eyes were fixed on the two simulacrums, and he didn’t look pleased at all. “But I was not referring to your musical efforts, boy. Rather I am curious to learn why I am seeing three of you. Since I have not hit my head recently, I’m reluctantly forced to assume that there actually must be three of you. Would you care to explain exactly how that came to be?”

Edwin’s mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds, as he tried to come up with a believable explanation that would not make him look too bad. “Well…” he said, scuffling his feet a little on the ground. “Well, it’s sort of a long story.”

Dekaras didn’t reply to that, but something about the piercing look in his eyes suggested that he was willing to wait all night, if necessary.

“It’s all his fault!” Edwin 2 said, pointing at Edwin. “He’s the one who brought us here, and he says we’re both Simulacrums, but clearly I ought to be Edwin 1 because I’m much cleverer than he is and…”

“Add it was by idea to sig the sog!” Edwin 3 cut in, grinning proudly despite his swollen nose. “That proves that the odly real Edwid aroud here is be, right?”

“No it doesn’t!” Edwin protested, glaring angrily at the simulacrums. “I’m the original, you two are just stupid copies, and you wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t found that magical Netherese ring in the museum and used the spell on it to create you and I’d never have done that if I’d known that would happen and…oh…”

“I see,” Dekaras said, and now the full force of his rather formidable attention was concentrated upon the original Edwin. The boy had the uncomfortable idea that this was what it might feel like to be an ant under a magnifying glass, outside on a hot day. Certainly his ears were burning hot. “I see. It seems to me that I mentioned something about how we were not supposed to steal things in the museum, did I not? And it further occurs to me that I may have mentioned a time or two about how I do not approve of you experimenting with strange magical items, especially when you have no idea of what they do. Do we perhaps need to bring a cleric over here to have your ears examined, or am I to be forced to believe that you were being deliberately disobedient?”

There had to be a good answer to that. There just had to. Only he couldn’t think of it right now. “Um…sorry…” Edwin said, hanging his head. “I wasn’t thinking…”

“No, that seems woefully evident.” The assassin sighed. “Edwin, this time nothing dangerous happened, but imagine what might have occurred if there had been a different spell on that ring. You could have been ripped to pieces by a demon, or sucked into the plane of fire, or…turned into a chicken or something similarly ridiculous. I simply don’t want you to get hurt, can you understand that?”

Edwin nodded, mutely. He felt very, very ashamed of himself. “Yes,” he said in a small voice. “And I am sorry, really. But Teacher Dekaras, I really think that a demon would have been all right, because I’m a Great Wizard and I’m sure I could have…” Then he very rapidly shut his mouth as he noticed the expression on his tutor’s face.

“No Edwin,” Dekaras said, and there was a thin edge to his voice that hinted that his patience had very nearly run out. “No demons. Absolutely no demons. And now I want you to give me that ring, before something else happens.” Edwin did so – there really was no other option.

“But what about us?” said Edwin 2, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny. “Will we…will we just go poof or something?”

“I dod’t wadt to go poof!” Edwin 3 sniffled. “I’m Edwid Odesseirod, I really, really ab! Not hib!”

“Well…” Dekaras said, and he put his hands comfortingly on the shoulders of both simulacrums. “In a sense, I dare say you all are Edwin Odesseiron, as if one of him wasn’t quite enough to make the world uncertain. And I will do my best to look after you all, that I can promise you. That is what I am here for, after all.” Then, he straightened his shoulders. “Hopefully it won’t make me burst a blood vessel. Now then, what exactly were you all up to out here? Did I not tell you that you were not to go near that plant on your own?”

“Well, we weren’t really alone because there were three of us and…”

“Edwin…”

The three boys hurriedly explained their idea about blood and singing combined. “She likes it too,” Edwin said. “Better than common old plant food, even if Father is using spells on it…”

Dekaras pursed his lips, looking at Elvira 2. The plant was perhaps a little larger than before – and she was humming. Feed me…feed me…feed me! The blood caused by the spell was already gone. “Plant food…” Dekaras said, and his voice sounded a little distant. “Magical plant food…yes, that would work. It has to work.”

“What will?”

“Never mind,” the assassin said. “I just had an idea – but I need to test it. As for you, you need to be in bed.” He shooed the three boys off along the garden path. “And no,” he said, “you are not allowed to sleep one third of the night each and spend the rest playing.”

Edwin hastened his steps a little, not wanting to seem tardy, or to look too guilty about the fact that he had been thinking about just such a thing. “How does he know these things?” Edwin 2 said, his voice filled with awe.

“Silly…” Edwin said. “Teacher Dekaras knows everything.”
Rogues do it from behind.




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