Omegas XXV: The Naked Boom 33 & 1/3

Notary Public / Nota-Republic:

1. Ok, not really related, but...

http://www.megatokyo...hp?strip_id=102

A link to one of my newest obsessions: MegaTokyo. The reason? We have GOT to get Imoen one of those IAC shirts.

2. Violence AND explosions... you know, the good stuff.

3. More killboard action. Go, you crazy Confees, go!

4. I (Gasp) actually have a bit of a buffer... it's only like four chapters (as opposed to, like, forty), but I'm rather proud of it.

5. Jan scores some points... creepy...

6. Modern flashbangs just produce... well... flashes and bangs, but I decided to take some liberties and toss in an "overpressure wave." Y'know, for sh@ts and giggles.

-----

Jan Jansen inched out from behind the tree he was using for cover, sticking his head out just enough to get a glimpse of what was going on. A sudden burst of weapons fire sent him scrambling back to the shelter of his “wooden palisade.” “Why, that’s just rude…” he muttered to himself.

“Infantry!” Off to Jan’s right, Jaheira called out a warning.

Some of the Dominion foot soldiers had made their way past the gauntlet of fire being laid down by Delta and Epsilon groups, and were pushing on the positions that Alpha and Omega squads now occupied. Right in front of her, Jaheira had caught sight of a quartet of orcish troopers fighting their way through the brambles. She immediately dropped into a half crouch, burying her right knee in the dirt, and bringing her neutron blaster up to her shoulder. The compact MP-5 shuddered three times in rapid succession, the first energy burst stitching one of the Dominion grunts across the chest. The last of the three bolts went slightly wide, but the first two were more than enough to send the grunt sprawling backwards, limbs splayed in all directions.

The combat medic instinctively readjusted her aim, painting another three rounds against the chest and neck of one of the three remaining grunts. He collapsed as well, with a pair of smoking craters in his armored breastplate. The third and fourth troopers, however, found the time to dodge, throwing themselves aside and bringing their rifles to bear. A pair of high powered shots cracked over Jaheira’s head, forcing her to the ground. She hurled herself onto her stomach, then quickly rolled to the side and behind a low rise, even as another two stray shots sent dirt fountaining into the air and cascading down onto her helmet. She squinted through the clear duraplas that formed the front face-shield of her combat helmet and caught sight of the two orcs slowly and carefully advancing on her position. They’d temporarily lost sight of her and weren’t taking any chances.

A fist-sized metal canister landed at their feet.

Jaheira slammed her eyes shut and tried to cover her ears. She managed to avoid being blinded, but the detonation of the flashbang grenade that Jan had thrown left her ears ringing. The orcs were faring far worse, pug noses bleeding, meaty paws scrabbling at their eyes, grunting and groaning in anguish.

From off to the side, Jan’s P-90 chattered five times. The rounds were low-impact, but there were a lot of them, and the burst was well aimed. One of the Dominion grunts, already incapacitated, was quickly rendered dead by the P-90’s energy blasts. The other had fallen to his knees, and was flailing helplessly.

Vixen was back on her feet by then, scrambling across the broken ground. As she ran, she flipped the neutron carbine around in her hands. Instead of firing it, she closed the distance between herself and the defenseless orc, and swung the stock of the weapon in a vicious, upward arc.

* SWAK! *

The butt of the MP-5 connected solidly with the orc’s jaw, and there was the gratifying sound of disintegrating bone. The grunt, now fully unconscious, crumpled with a groan.

Shifting her weapon back to a more orthodox grip, Jaheira took the time to look around. There were no more troopers in the immediate vicinity, but the brief skirmish had drawn the attention of the surviving tank gunners. Two pintle-mounted light gun turrets (which were used primarily for engaging enemy infantry) swiveled in her direction.

“Jan! Fall back!” she called to the gnome, before ducking back behind the sparse cover.

“No worries, Vixen. Back in two shakes of a griffin’s tail…”

“Jan, what are you –“ she cut herself off. “Blast it…” She watched helplessly as the diminutive gnome cut his way through to the closer of the two Leviathan-class tanks. Amazingly, there was little gunfire aimed in his direction. Either the Dominion hadn’t noticed him at all, or they simply assumed he wasn’t much of a threat. Indeed, the gnome himself, and the small, metallic object he heaved at the side of the tank seemed fairly innocuous. It didn’t explode, for one… it simply made contact with the durasteel hull and latched on.

“What was that?” Jaheira asked when Jan had made it safely back behind cover.

Ratchet chuckled. “You’ll see.”

He reached into his pack and pulled a palmtop computer console from within. He fiddled with a transmission box attached to the back of the unit, extending the antenna, then set to work, his eyes fixed on the miniaturized screen. A pair of thumbs twiddled across the small thumbsticks built into the controller’s base, and Jaheira’s eyes widened as she noticed one of the Leviathan’s gun turrets rotating, seemingly in sync with Jan’s movements. The main turret turned slowly, then nudged itself up a few degrees, clearly leveling its barrel on the tank directly in front of it.

Jan Jansen merely giggled, then gleefully punched a button…

…

Up above, Valygar watched as a 110 millimeter High-Explosive/Armor-Piercing round erupted from the rearward of the two Leviathans, the high bore cannon spitting out its cargo like a volcano. The shot rammed itself into the vehicle right in its path, and exploded at near point-blank range, sending orange flame washing all over the tank’s hull. The wounded Leviathan pitched forward, its suspension failing to absorb or disperse the brunt of the impact and explosion. The tank rocked on its treads, and smoke began pouring from the crew compartment. Miraculously, some of those crewers still lived. Hatches opened all across the tank’s hull as the crewmen fought their way out of the stricken vehicle, only to be cut down the instant they were clear.

A burst of static crackled through his headset. “Hey, Sarge, how’s it going up there? By the way, I racked up two more,” came Imoen’s cheerful, mocking lilt.

Valygar ignored the jibe and casually put a shot through another orc – this one a communications technician judging by the backpack festooned with antennae that he had been carrying. “Perhaps you should cut the chatter, Lieutenant…”

“But then our comm channels would get boring. C’mon, how many more did ya get?”

He tried not to roll his eyes – it would throw off his aim. He knew, however, that she simply wouldn’t leave him alone until he’d offered up an answer. “Three, not including the tank commander.” He fired another shot. “No. Four.” He paused for effect. “Dozen.”

She snickered in response. “Ha. Them’s are fightin’ words, Val. Out.”

…

Nalia looked at the growing smirk on Imoen’s face and turned to Falynn. “Major… are those two always like that?”

“Well, the Sergeant hasn’t been with us very long, so I can’t really say with any degree of accuracy, but from what I’ve seen so far… yeah… pretty much. I guess it’ll be a while before all of us get used to each- look out!” She jerked her hand out and grabbed the back of Nalia’s shirt, then hauled the younger woman to the ground – just in time, as a burst of weapons fire riddled the area right where the girl’s head would have been.

Imoen turned and fired a return shot, quickly neutralizing the threat.

“You all right?” Falynn asked.

The brunette blinked hard. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded dumbly. “Think so. Gods, I didn’t even see him.”

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

Imoen chimed in with the corollary. “Rule #2: Don’t. Draw fire. Makes the rest of us nervous.”

And then it cycled back to Falynn. “Rule #3: If you’re gonna draw fire, do it over there.” She made some vague shooing motions with her hand.

“Um. R-right.” Nalia clenched her hands into fists to try and keep them from shaking.

Imoen poked her head out to the side to get a glimpse of the action. Dominion infantry were still swarming everywhere, but the main threat was the still-active Leviathan tank only a handful of meters away from their current position. Ironically, the closer they were to it, the better. At the moment, they were -too- close for the tank crewers to use their vehicle’s main cannon. “Hey, Lynn, we still got one more tank out there… what are we gonna do about it? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

Falynn sighed. “ ‘We’ aren’t going to do anything. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re a little short on high explosive ordnance. We’ll have to hope Alpha group -”

A loud * Whoosh! * signified the launch of another RPG. Along the other side of the road, opposite where the Omegas had set up, Alpha squad was making their play. Most of them were equipped with assorted small arms – of little use against the armored behemoth - but one of them was a squat, broad-shouldered dwarf toting a launcher similar to Minsc’s. He quickly took aim and fired at the remaining Leviathan’s left side. There was a sickening screech as the round detonated against the ablative armor. Instead of simply trying to resist the hit, the way conventional armor did, the Leviathan’s protective covering was designed to flake away when damaged, dispersing the energy of the impact. It did its job, deflecting most of the damage, and leaving the vehicle almost fully operational. As for the crew… the explosion had only made them mad.

Fortunately for the Confederation, Minsc was even madder. After having successfully reloaded the weapon, he was back on the line, looking for an appropriate “orifice” in which to stuff the explosive package. “These orcs do not know when to quit!” he growled in typical Minsc-righteous-fury, “Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

“A little higher, Minsc…” the hamster advised.

Minsc paused for a moment as he tried to process what Boo had just told him. His eyes suddenly lit up like an excited child’s. “Ah, yes, of course. Boo says aim a little higher, Minsc aims a little higher!” He merrily shifted the weapon upwards, directing the missile a little higher up on the tank’s hull.

“Looks good. Take ‘em down, big guy.”

The electronic hamster’s memory core was an eclectic collection of data files, and somewhere in that assorted bunch of records were design schematics for a Dominion Leviathan-class tank. That information had proved to be quite handy, as Boo’s analysis of those schematics proved to be bang on. Guided by his always faithful hamster companion, Minsc had found one of the Leviathan’s “soft spots.” The HEAP round leaped from the launcher braced atop his shoulder, and instead of glancing off the side, plowed through the outermost layers of the tank’s armor, and sent blast waves throughout the entire vehicle, rattling the unfortunate personnel inside. Almost as an afterthought, critical parts of the vehicle’s drive train shook themselves apart as a result of the explosion. Severed hydraulic lines belched fluid; motor oil and fuel began to pool underneath the tank as the vehicle “bled” to death. Critical components disintegrated as fragments of twisted metal scraped against each other in the engine compartment. Thick, greasy smoke began to fill the crew compartment, and the tank noisily ground to a halt.

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

-----

Killboard:

Llyr, F.: 3
Llyr, I.: 8
Marael, J.: 3
Vaonnor, M.: 4 (Infantry: 2, Vehicles: 2)
Jansen, J.: 2 (Infantry: 1, Vehicles: 1)
Corthala, V.: 10 (Infantry: 5, Vehicles: 1)
De’Arnisse, N.: 0

Notary Public / Nota-Republic:

1. Ok, not really related, but...

http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=102

A link to one of my newest obsessions: MegaTokyo. The reason? We have GOT to get Imoen one of those IAC shirts.

oh yeah...especially 2 sizes too small for her...

2. Violence AND explosions... you know, the good stuff.

YAY!!!

6. Modern flashbangs just produce... well... flashes and bangs, but I decided to take some liberties and toss in an "overpressure wave." Y'know, for sh@ts and giggles.

actually, german GSG-9 anti terrorism commandos used to use a variety of flashbangs that don't use magnesium power...powdered semtex or some other form of plastic explosive...apparently, cause its powdered, or flaked, it changed the characteristic of the explosive, made it less lethal, and useful for flashbangs, and i would guess those kinds of flashbangs did have overpressure.

“Infantry!” Off to Jan’s right, Jaheira called out a warning.

i keep thinking of that line in "hell's faire"...where the real purpose of tanks is to get surrounded by enemy troops, making the infantry support rush out to rescue it, cause they feel they have to save the poor sods stuck at the sharp end...

Some of the Dominion foot soldiers had made their way past the gauntlet of fire being laid down by Delta and Epsilon groups, and were pushing on the positions that Alpha and Omega squads now occupied. Right in front of her, Jaheira had caught sight of a quartet of orcish troopers fighting their way through the brambles. She immediately dropped into a half crouch, burying her right knee in the dirt, and bringing her neutron blaster up to her shoulder. The compact MP-5 shuddered three times in rapid succession, the first energy burst stitching one of the Dominion grunts across the chest. The last of the three bolts went slightly wide, but the first two were more than enough to send the grunt sprawling backwards, limbs splayed in all directions.

heckler and koch mp5...

Vixen was back on her feet by then, scrambling across the broken ground. As she ran, she flipped the neutron carbine around in her hands. Instead of firing it, she closed the distance between herself and the defenseless orc, and swung the stock of the weapon in a vicious, upward arc.

* SWAK! *

drill sergeant: TROOP, IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN I WILL TEACH YOU THE MEANING OF PAIN!!! You will never abuse a working weapon by using it as a club unless you're really (deleted) and up the (deleted) creek without a paddle! now drop and give me 50!!!

vixen: but sarge, i ran out of bullets...

sarge: ok, then its excused. but using a unjammed weapon as a club is a rookie trick. you hit something with a fine weapon, like the alliance mp-5, you could damage the mechanism, possibly even bend the barrel. at least your sights will be (deleted).

“Jan, what are you –“ she cut herself off. “Blast it…” She watched helplessly as the diminutive gnome cut his way through to the closer of the two Leviathan-class tanks. Amazingly, there was little gunfire aimed in his direction. Either the Dominion hadn’t noticed him at all, or they simply assumed he wasn’t much of a threat. Indeed, the gnome himself, and the small, metallic object he heaved at the side of the tank seemed fairly innocuous. It didn’t explode, for one… it simply made contact with the durasteel hull and latched on.

the obvious flaws in computer controlled turrets...

He reached into his pack and pulled a palmtop computer console from within. He fiddled with a transmission box attached to the back of the unit, extending the antenna, then set to work, his eyes fixed on the miniaturized screen. A pair of thumbs twiddled across the small thumbsticks built into the controller’s base, and Jaheira’s eyes widened as she noticed one of the Leviathan’s gun turrets rotating, seemingly in sync with Jan’s movements. The main turret turned slowly, then nudged itself up a few degrees, clearly leveling its barrel on the tank directly in front of it.

Jan Jansen merely giggled, then gleefully punched a button…

Up above, Valygar watched as a 110 millimeter High-Explosive/Armor-Piercing round erupted from the rearward of the two Leviathans, the high bore cannon spitting out its cargo like a volcano. The shot rammed itself into the vehicle right in its path, and exploded at near point-blank range, sending orange flame washing all over the tank’s hull. The wounded Leviathan pitched forward, its suspension failing to absorb or disperse the brunt of the impact and explosion. The tank rocked on its treads, and smoke began pouring from the crew compartment. Miraculously, some of those crewers still lived. Hatches opened all across the tank’s hull as the crewmen fought their way out of the stricken vehicle, only to be cut down the instant they were clear.

hoisted on their own petards...

(the origin of that phrase comes from the middle ages, where they used to use barrels full of gunpowder carried up to a town's gates by some fearless *dumb* grunt, to be nailed to the gate, and fuse lit...given the crudeness of medieval technology, sometimes the fuse burned a little faster than expected...the barrel was natually called "petard"...)

Nalia looked at the growing smirk on Imoen’s face and turned to Falynn. “Major… are those two always like that?”

yep...

“Well, the Sergeant hasn’t been with us very long, so I can’t really say with any degree of accuracy, but from what I’ve seen so far… yeah… pretty much. I guess it’ll be a while before all of us get used to each- look out!” She jerked her hand out and grabbed the back of Nalia’s shirt, then hauled the younger woman to the ground – just in time, as a burst of weapons fire riddled the area right where the girl’s head would have been.

please tell me she's got a helmet on to cover her blonde hair..

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

don't get shot, getting shot stings...

Imoen chimed in with the corollary. “Rule #2: Don’t. Draw fire. Makes the rest of us nervous.”

don't make your crewmates nervous, it tends to end up in retribution...

And then it cycled back to Falynn. “Rule #3: If you’re gonna draw fire, do it over there.” She made some vague shooing motions with her hand.

Imoen poked her head out to the side to get a glimpse of the action. Dominion infantry were still swarming everywhere, but the main threat was the still-active Leviathan tank only a handful of meters away from their current position. Ironically, the closer they were to it, the better. At the moment, they were -too- close for the tank crewers to use their vehicle’s main cannon. “Hey, Lynn, we still got one more tank out there… what are we gonna do about it? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

urm...getting in front of a tank's main gun is bad...the blast from firing will kill anyone within a few meters, and don't they have cannister rounds?

the bees reminded me of ray bradbury's martian chronicles, where the ancient martians used weapons that shot out metal bees...

or maybe she's talking about beehive rounds...

A loud * Whoosh! * signified the launch of another RPG. Along the other side of the road, opposite where the Omegas had set up, Alpha squad was making their play. Most of them were equipped with assorted small arms – of little use against the armored behemoth - but one of them was a squat, broad-shouldered dwarf toting a launcher similar to Minsc’s. He quickly took aim and fired at the remaining Leviathan’s left side. There was a sickening screech as the round detonated against the ablative armor. Instead of simply trying to resist the hit, the way conventional armor did, the Leviathan’s protective covering was designed to flake away when damaged, dispersing the energy of the impact. It did its job, deflecting most of the damage, and leaving the vehicle almost fully operational. As for the crew… the explosion had only made them mad.

ablative armor, or reactive armor?

(plates of plastic explosive stuck on the armor of a tank, that would detonate and mess up the "jet" of a shaped charge)

Fortunately for the Confederation, Minsc was even madder. After having successfully reloaded the weapon, he was back on the line, looking for an appropriate “orifice” in which to stuff the explosive package. “These orcs do not know when to quit!” he growled in typical Minsc-righteous-fury, “Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! i just had this mental image of minsc dressed as a nun holding this giant ruler...

The electronic hamster’s memory core was an eclectic collection of data files, and somewhere in that assorted bunch of records were design schematics for a Dominion Leviathan-class tank. That information had proved to be quite handy, as Boo’s analysis of those schematics proved to be bang on. Guided by his always faithful hamster companion, Minsc had found one of the Leviathan’s “soft spots.” The HEAP round leaped from the launcher braced atop his shoulder, and instead of glancing off the side, plowed through the outermost layers of the tank’s armor, and sent blast waves throughout the entire vehicle, rattling the unfortunate personnel inside. Almost as an afterthought, critical parts of the vehicle’s drive train shook themselves apart as a result of the explosion. Severed hydraulic lines belched fluid; motor oil and fuel began to pool underneath the tank as the vehicle “bled” to death. Critical components disintegrated as fragments of twisted metal scraped against each other in the engine compartment. Thick, greasy smoke began to fill the crew compartment, and the tank noisily ground to a halt.

catastrophic kill!!!

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

no, but a certain sense of sarcasm...

-----

Killboard:

Llyr, F.: 3
Llyr, I.: 8
Marael, J.: 3
Vaonnor, M.: 4 (Infantry: 2, Vehicles: 2)
Jansen, J.: 2 (Infantry: 1, Vehicles: 1)
Corthala, V.: 10 (Infantry: 5, Vehicles: 1)
De’Arnisse, N.: 0

YAY!!!

He reached into his pack and pulled a palmtop computer console from within. He fiddled with a transmission box attached to the back of the unit, extending the antenna, then set to work, his eyes fixed on the miniaturized screen. A pair of thumbs twiddled across the small thumbsticks built into the controller’s base, and Jaheira’s eyes widened as she noticed one of the Leviathan’s gun turrets rotating, seemingly in sync with Jan’s movements. The main turret turned slowly, then nudged itself up a few degrees, clearly leveling its barrel on the tank directly in front of it.

Jan Jansen merely giggled, then gleefully punched a button…

Oh, dear . . . I think they have a problem . . .

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

And that is a rather painful experience.

Imoen chimed in with the corollary. “Rule #2: Don’t. Draw fire. Makes the rest of us nervous.”

Nervous sqad-mates are a very bad thing.

And then it cycled back to Falynn. “Rule #3: If you’re gonna draw fire, do it over there.” She made some vague shooing motions with her hand.

“Hey, Lynn, we still got one more tank out there… what are we gonna do about it? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

One of Homer Simpson's better lines.

“These orcs do not know when to quit!” he growled in typical Minsc-righteous-fury, “Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

Gah! Bizarre image there!

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

I love your Boo. He's just great.

I started reading this rather late, is there a back-story somewhere?

We have GOT to get Imoen one of those IAC shirts.

Only if you give them to Raven and Vixen as well.

4. I (Gasp) actually have a bit of a buffer... it's only like four chapters (as opposed to, like, forty), but I'm rather proud of it.

Yay for buffers! Mine’s dwindled to about 25 now…

5. Jan scores some points... creepy...

That harmless looking gnome who looks like the only thing he could hurt is a turnip? Awwww…

Some of the Dominion foot soldiers had made their way past the gauntlet of fire being laid down by Delta and Epsilon groups, and were pushing on the positions that Alpha and Omega squads now occupied. Right in front of her, Jaheira had caught sight of a quartet of orcish troopers fighting their way through the brambles. She immediately dropped into a half crouch, burying her right knee in the dirt, and bringing her neutron blaster up to her shoulder. The compact MP-5 shuddered three times in rapid succession, the first energy burst stitching one of the Dominion grunts across the chest. The last of the three bolts went slightly wide, but the first two were more than enough to send the grunt sprawling backwards, limbs splayed in all directions.

The combat medic instinctively readjusted her aim, painting another three rounds against the chest and neck of one of the three remaining grunts. He collapsed as well, with a pair of smoking craters in his armored breastplate. The third and fourth troopers, however, found the time to dodge, throwing themselves aside and bringing their rifles to bear. A pair of high powered shots cracked over Jaheira’s head, forcing her to the ground. She hurled herself onto her stomach, then quickly rolled to the side and behind a low rise, even as another two stray shots sent dirt fountaining into the air and cascading down onto her helmet. She squinted through the clear duraplas that formed the front face-shield of her combat helmet and caught sight of the two orcs slowly and carefully advancing on her position. They’d temporarily lost sight of her and weren’t taking any chances.

Awww, Vixen kicking butt. Sweetness!

A fist-sized metal canister landed at their feet.

I hope they love receiving presents.

Vixen was back on her feet by then, scrambling across the broken ground. As she ran, she flipped the neutron carbine around in her hands. Instead of firing it, she closed the distance between herself and the defenseless orc, and swung the stock of the weapon in a vicious, upward arc.

* SWAK! *

Beautiful image!

The butt of the MP-5 connected solidly with the orc’s jaw, and there was the gratifying sound of disintegrating bone. The grunt, now fully unconscious, crumpled with a groan.

Vixen, baby, you’ll never top the killboard by being merciful…

“No worries, Vixen. Back in two shakes of a griffin’s tail…”

Hmm, that’s inconclusive… an angry griffin would be shaking his tail a lot faster than a happy, content griffin, basking in the sun after having eaten a plump gnome.

Jan Jansen merely giggled, then gleefully punched a button…

Be very, very scared…

Btw, that wouldn’t count as Jan’s kill, would it? Technically it’s more like being wasted by friendly fire, no?

A burst of static crackled through his headset. “Hey, Sarge, how’s it going up there? By the way, I racked up two more,” came Imoen’s cheerful, mocking lilt.

Valygar ignored the jibe and casually put a shot through another orc – this one a communications technician judging by the backpack festooned with antennae that he had been carrying. “Perhaps you should cut the chatter, Lieutenant…”

Unlike you Val, she can keep up with both – the chatter and the killing!

“You all right?” Falynn asked.

The brunette blinked hard. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded dumbly. “Think so. Gods, I didn’t even see him.”

Little baptism of fire for Nalia… she should be a quick learner, though.

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

Imoen chimed in with the corollary. “Rule #2: Don’t. Draw fire. Makes the rest of us nervous.”

And then it cycled back to Falynn. “Rule #3: If you’re gonna draw fire, do it over there.” She made some vague shooing motions with her hand.

“Um. R-right.” Nalia clenched her hands into fists to try and keep them from shaking.

I wonder if Raven’s doubts about her decision to take Nalia along have not increased if a little.

Imoen poked her head out to the side to get a glimpse of the action. Dominion infantry were still swarming everywhere, but the main threat was the still-active Leviathan tank only a handful of meters away from their current position. Ironically, the closer they were to it, the better. At the moment, they were -too- close for the tank crewers to use their vehicle’s main cannon. “Hey, Lynn, we still got one more tank out there… what are we gonna do about it? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

Monty Burns had those, didn’t he? Well, at least according to Homer…

Fortunately for the Confederation, Minsc was even madder. After having successfully reloaded the weapon, he was back on the line, looking for an appropriate “orifice” in which to stuff the explosive package. “These orcs do not know when to quit!” he growled in typical Minsc-righteous-fury, “Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

I guess with his mental stats Minsc would be quite familiar with the creative uses that some abusive teachers (GRRR! ) find for their rulers…

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

Awww, poor Boo…

Killboard:

Llyr, F.: 3
Llyr, I.: 8
Marael, J.: 3
Vaonnor, M.: 4 (Infantry: 2, Vehicles: 2)
Jansen, J.: 2 (Infantry: 1, Vehicles: 1)
Corthala, V.: 10 (Infantry: 5, Vehicles: 1)
De’Arnisse, N.: 0

Yay! Go, Vixen!! You’re up to joint forth place already, yay!!

Some of the Dominion foot soldiers had made their way past the gauntlet of fire being laid down by Delta and Epsilon groups, and were pushing on the positions that Alpha and Omega squads now occupied. Right in front of her, Jaheira had caught sight of a quartet of orcish troopers fighting their way through the brambles.

Grenade Time

She immediately dropped into a half crouch, burying her right knee in the dirt, and bringing her neutron blaster up to her shoulder. The compact MP-5 shuddered three times in rapid succession, the first energy burst stitching one of the Dominion grunts across the chest. The last of the three bolts went slightly wide, but the first two were more than enough to send the grunt sprawling backwards, limbs splayed in all directions.

So sue me for not being infantry

The combat medic instinctively readjusted her aim, painting another three rounds against the chest and neck of one of the three remaining grunts. He collapsed as well, with a pair of smoking craters in his armored breastplate. The third and fourth troopers, however, found the time to dodge, throwing themselves aside and bringing their rifles to bear. A pair of high powered shots cracked over Jaheira’s head, forcing her to the ground. She hurled herself onto her stomach, then quickly rolled to the side and behind a low rise, even as another two stray shots sent dirt fountaining into the air and cascading down onto her helmet. She squinted through the clear duraplas that formed the front face-shield of her combat helmet and caught sight of the two orcs slowly and carefully advancing on her position. They’d temporarily lost sight of her and weren’t taking any chances.

A fist-sized metal canister landed at their feet.

See! It is grenade time after all.

Jaheira slammed her eyes shut and tried to cover her ears. She managed to avoid being blinded, but the detonation of the flashbang grenade that Jan had thrown left her ears ringing. The orcs were faring far worse, pug noses bleeding, meaty paws scrabbling at their eyes, grunting and groaning in anguish.

From off to the side, Jan’s P-90 chattered five times. The rounds were low-impact, but there were a lot of them, and the burst was well aimed. One of the Dominion grunts, already incapacitated, was quickly rendered dead by the P-90’s energy blasts. The other had fallen to his knees, and was flailing helplessly.

Gruumsh: "You were killed by Jan Jansen! What sort of an orc are... WERE you?"

Vixen was back on her feet by then, scrambling across the broken ground. As she ran, she flipped the neutron carbine around in her hands. Instead of firing it, she closed the distance between herself and the defenseless orc, and swung the stock of the weapon in a vicious, upward arc.

* SWAK! *

The butt of the MP-5 connected solidly with the orc’s jaw, and there was the gratifying sound of disintegrating bone. The grunt, now fully unconscious, crumpled with a groan.

Shifting her weapon back to a more orthodox grip, Jaheira took the time to look around. There were no more troopers in the immediate vicinity, but the brief skirmish had drawn the attention of the surviving tank gunners. Two pintle-mounted light gun turrets (which were used primarily for engaging enemy infantry) swiveled in her direction.

“Jan! Fall back!” she called to the gnome, before ducking back behind the sparse cover.

“No worries, Vixen. Back in two shakes of a griffin’s tail…”

“Jan, what are you –“ she cut herself off. “Blast it…” She watched helplessly as the diminutive gnome cut his way through to the closer of the two Leviathan-class tanks. Amazingly, there was little gunfire aimed in his direction. Either the Dominion hadn’t noticed him at all, or they simply assumed he wasn’t much of a threat. Indeed, the gnome himself, and the small, metallic object he heaved at the side of the tank seemed fairly innocuous. It didn’t explode, for one… it simply made contact with the durasteel hull and latched on.

“What was that?” Jaheira asked when Jan had made it safely back behind cover.

Ratchet chuckled. “You’ll see.”

He reached into his pack and pulled a palmtop computer console from within. He fiddled with a transmission box attached to the back of the unit, extending the antenna, then set to work, his eyes fixed on the miniaturized screen. A pair of thumbs twiddled across the small thumbsticks built into the controller’s base, and Jaheira’s eyes widened as she noticed one of the Leviathan’s gun turrets rotating, seemingly in sync with Jan’s movements. The main turret turned slowly, then nudged itself up a few degrees, clearly leveling its barrel on the tank directly in front of it.

Jan Jansen merely giggled, then gleefully punched a button…

I see the orcs bought their operating system from Microsoft. And forgot to download the security patch

Up above, Valygar watched as a 110 millimeter High-Explosive/Armor-Piercing round erupted from the rearward of the two Leviathans, the high bore cannon spitting out its cargo like a volcano. The shot rammed itself into the vehicle right in its path, and exploded at near point-blank range, sending orange flame washing all over the tank’s hull. The wounded Leviathan pitched forward, its suspension failing to absorb or disperse the brunt of the impact and explosion. The tank rocked on its treads, and smoke began pouring from the crew compartment. Miraculously, some of those crewers still lived. Hatches opened all across the tank’s hull as the crewmen fought their way out of the stricken vehicle, only to be cut down the instant they were clear.

A burst of static crackled through his headset. “Hey, Sarge, how’s it going up there? By the way, I racked up two more,” came Imoen’s cheerful, mocking lilt.

Valygar ignored the jibe and casually put a shot through another orc – this one a communications technician judging by the backpack festooned with antennae that he had been carrying. “Perhaps you should cut the chatter, Lieutenant…”

“But then our comm channels would get boring. C’mon, how many more did ya get?”

He tried not to roll his eyes – it would throw off his aim. He knew, however, that she simply wouldn’t leave him alone until he’d offered up an answer. “Three, not including the tank commander.” He fired another shot. “No. Four.” He paused for effect. “Dozen.”

She snickered in response. “Ha. Them’s are fightin’ words, Val. Out.”

And now she's calling him Val. Gotta be luvvvv.

Nalia looked at the growing smirk on Imoen’s face and turned to Falynn. “Major… are those two always like that?”

Yes.

“Well, the Sergeant hasn’t been with us very long, so I can’t really say with any degree of accuracy, but from what I’ve seen so far… yeah… pretty much. I guess it’ll be a while before all of us get used to each- look out!” She jerked her hand out and grabbed the back of Nalia’s shirt, then hauled the younger woman to the ground – just in time, as a burst of weapons fire riddled the area right where the girl’s head would have been.

Imoen turned and fired a return shot, quickly neutralizing the threat.

“You all right?” Falynn asked.

The brunette blinked hard. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded dumbly. “Think so. Gods, I didn’t even see him.”

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

Imoen chimed in with the corollary. “Rule #2: Don’t. Draw fire. Makes the rest of us nervous.”

And then it cycled back to Falynn. “Rule #3: If you’re gonna draw fire, do it over there.” She made some vague shooing motions with her hand.

“Um. R-right.” Nalia clenched her hands into fists to try and keep them from shaking.

Saalika: "Rule 4. If you're a communications officer like you, or a spook like me, let the grunts do the ground fighting."

Imoen poked her head out to the side to get a glimpse of the action. Dominion infantry were still swarming everywhere, but the main threat was the still-active Leviathan tank only a handful of meters away from their current position. Ironically, the closer they were to it, the better. At the moment, they were -too- close for the tank crewers to use their vehicle’s main cannon. “Hey, Lynn, we still got one more tank out there… what are we gonna do about it? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

Falynn sighed. “ ‘We’ aren’t going to do anything. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re a little short on high explosive ordnance. We’ll have to hope Alpha group -”

A loud * Whoosh! * signified the launch of another RPG. Along the other side of the road, opposite where the Omegas had set up, Alpha squad was making their play. Most of them were equipped with assorted small arms – of little use against the armored behemoth - but one of them was a squat, broad-shouldered dwarf toting a launcher similar to Minsc’s. He quickly took aim and fired at the remaining Leviathan’s left side. There was a sickening screech as the round detonated against the ablative armor. Instead of simply trying to resist the hit, the way conventional armor did, the Leviathan’s protective covering was designed to flake away when damaged, dispersing the energy of the impact. It did its job, deflecting most of the damage, and leaving the vehicle almost fully operational. As for the crew… the explosion had only made them mad.

Fortunately for the Confederation, Minsc was even madder. After having successfully reloaded the weapon, he was back on the line, looking for an appropriate “orifice” in which to stuff the explosive package. “These orcs do not know when to quit!” he growled in typical Minsc-righteous-fury, “Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

Minsc the Headmaster!

“A little higher, Minsc…” the hamster advised.

Minsc paused for a moment as he tried to process what Boo had just told him. His eyes suddenly lit up like an excited child’s. “Ah, yes, of course. Boo says aim a little higher, Minsc aims a little higher!” He merrily shifted the weapon upwards, directing the missile a little higher up on the tank’s hull.

“Looks good. Take ‘em down, big guy.”

The electronic hamster’s memory core was an eclectic collection of data files, and somewhere in that assorted bunch of records were design schematics for a Dominion Leviathan-class tank. That information had proved to be quite handy, as Boo’s analysis of those schematics proved to be bang on. Guided by his always faithful hamster companion, Minsc had found one of the Leviathan’s “soft spots.” The HEAP round leaped from the launcher braced atop his shoulder, and instead of glancing off the side, plowed through the outermost layers of the tank’s armor, and sent blast waves throughout the entire vehicle, rattling the unfortunate personnel inside. Almost as an afterthought, critical parts of the vehicle’s drive train shook themselves apart as a result of the explosion. Severed hydraulic lines belched fluid; motor oil and fuel began to pool underneath the tank as the vehicle “bled” to death. Critical components disintegrated as fragments of twisted metal scraped against each other in the engine compartment. Thick, greasy smoke began to fill the crew compartment, and the tank noisily ground to a halt.

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

There was a story I once read that relied on the ability to get a computer drunk. The computer was fitted with a device to analyse the content of food and warn the owner of attempts to poison him. It was altered to react to alcohol at a party and got too drunk to function properly.

Killboard:

Llyr, F.: 3
Llyr, I.: 8
Marael, J.: 3
Vaonnor, M.: 4 (Infantry: 2, Vehicles: 2)
Jansen, J.: 2 (Infantry: 1, Vehicles: 1)
Corthala, V.: 10 (Infantry: 5, Vehicles: 1)
De’Arnisse, N.: 0

Valygar either has thewrong number of total kills or your breakdown is missing some infantry - the four from this chapter I think.

oh yeah...especially 2 sizes too small for her...

Eh, I don't know about that... I mean, a too-small shirt would stop short of her belly button... which, I think, is an awesome look.

However, it would also be very tight-fitting, and that's not so much cute, as it is, "I'm marginally slutty." At least that's how I look at it. (Shrug)

On the other hand, an oversized shirt, like, say, one that hung to her knees would just make her look small, which would very much emphasize the cuteness factor. That's kinda the crux of the thing. I think "cute" as opposed to "hot." (For me, the terms aren't interchangeable.)

actually, german GSG-9 anti terrorism commandos used to use a variety of flashbangs that don't use magnesium power...powdered semtex or some other form of plastic explosive...

Ah, Grenschutzgruppe-Neun... (I think I spelled that right) Yeah. GSG-9 is pretty awesome, when I played Counterstrike, I usually played as a GSG-9 operative. It's true the choice was only cosmetic, but I liked being part of GSG-9... (other choices were US Navy DEVGRU (a.k.a. SEAL 6), France's GIGN, or Britain's SAS) But I always went with GSG-9.

Anywho, using an explosive in the grenade makes it an "HE-grenade"... HE grenades' primary usage is to smack people with the actual explosion and overpressure wave. Flashbangs technically aren't supposed to be used for that purpose. So I guess Jan's grenade was technically an HE as opposed to a flashbang.

heckler and koch mp5...

Yep. The US Navy variant, specifically: This one:

http://world.guns.ru/smg/hk_mp5n.jpg

One of these days I'll have to provide pictures for all the weapons the gang uses... that is, if anyone actually cares.

sarge: ok, then its excused. but using a unjammed weapon as a club is a rookie trick.

Only if you're smacking things with the barrel. Jaheira flipped the weapon around and hit the orc with the butt end... that's pretty much nothing but solid plastic (Which sounds brittle, but actually isn't). Obviously, you don't want to hit anything with the barrel end or worse, the receiver portion, but the stock is intended to take punishement.

(the origin of that phrase comes from the middle ages, where they used to use barrels full of gunpowder carried up to a town's gates by some fearless *dumb* grunt, to be nailed to the gate, and fuse lit...given the crudeness of medieval technology, sometimes the fuse burned a little faster than expected...the barrel was natually called "petard"...)

Didn't know that. Thanks for the factoid.

please tell me she's got a helmet on to cover her blonde hair..

Nalia's set up with some basic, borrowed gear. She does have a helmet, but it's still plain black. I'm actually going to put in a scene at some point where Imoen gives Nalia a helmet with "Cipher" painted on... you know, as a sort of official "you're part of the team, now" present.

And dude, she is SO not blonde. VH argues that she's a redhead... which is true insofar as her in-game avatar is... but her portrait clearly shows her as a brunette... so either red, brown, or reddish-brown... but not even close to blonde, dude. No way.

And this isn't the first time you've called her blonde, either... but she's not... not even close!

urm...getting in front of a tank's main gun is bad...the blast from firing will kill anyone within a few meters, and don't they have cannister rounds?

Of course, getting directly in front of it is bad... but they're not doing that. They're just getting so close that the turret can't swing around quickly and get a line on them. Plus, they can't depress the barrel enough, and, any explosions would likely do some damage to the tank itself if they fired at point-blank range, etc. etc.

ablative armor, or reactive armor?

Ablative... ablative absorbs energy, then disintegrates, carrying away much of the damaging energy and such. Reactive would work better for general projectile protection, but no, this stuff is basically ablative. Like the Defiant's.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! i just had this mental image of minsc dressed as a nun holding this giant ruler...

Mwuhahahahahaha...

no, but a certain sense of sarcasm...

Boo: "For the last time, I'm not bad, I'm just rendered that way!"

Seriously... Omega Boo even has the Jessica Rabbit -voice-.

Oh, dear . . . I think they have a problem . . .

Their side? Definitely... our side? Not so much...

And that is a rather painful experience.

Yeah, but the good news is, it's over pretty quickly.

Nervous sqad-mates are a very bad thing.

Harlequin: (Hefts a piece of equipment in her hand) "See this thing? This is an ion painter. It's designed for area demarcation in preparation for orbital bombardment. You don't want me getting jumpy when I've got this thing in my hand..."

One of Homer Simpson's better lines.

Yeah, the Simpsons, and really, just TV in general is rife with good stuff... plenty of bad stuff, too, but I don't watch -that-. Family Guy is another show I borrow very liberally from.

Expect someone to say "Bacon up that sausage!" at some point in the future.

I love your Boo. He's just great.

She.

It's true that the game Boo is a he, but I just adored the idea of making Boo an electronic hamster (Computer AI) and giving him/her/it the voice of a "Calishite harem girl"... so Boo actually has this kinda breathy, contralto... hence I consider this Boo a "she".

I started reading this rather late, is there a back-story somewhere?

Yep. I started this thing back in December, so it's been going for about 10 months, now... I never bothered to collect all the stuff together, though, so to find the earlier chapters you'd have to go digging through back pages on the Serials board. They're all still there, but it'd be a lot of sorting. It's not worth the effort. Trust me.

http://www.gamejag.c...ewtopic&t=73763

That should be #1... it's pretty far back... like 17 pages back... whew...

Only if you give them to Raven and Vixen as well.

No, no, no... I'm not sure about Jaheira yet, but I'm definitely setting Falynn up with a purple wombat T-shirt... here, a visual aid:

http://www.penny-arc...004-08-23&res=l

Yay for buffers! Mine’s dwindled to about 25 now…

You're asking for it, pal.

Awww, Vixen kicking butt. Sweetness!

It happens. Everyone in the group is a competent soldier (Even Jan) in addition to whatever other talents they have. That's how Special Forces-type units work. Everyone's a soldier first, and whatever else second. But even though Jaheira's certainly competent in terms of combat skills, she's just not -as- good as the more dedicated soldiering types. Imoen's skills are pretty much all military (and offensive) in nature. Ditto for Falynn's and Valygar's and Minsc's. Jan, Jaheira, and Nalia are all considered "support staff," really.

Btw, that wouldn’t count as Jan’s kill, would it? Technically it’s more like being wasted by friendly fire, no?

Not really. Jan was directly responsible for that tank's destruction. The fact that the shot came from a "friendly" gun doesn't preclude the notion that Jan was actually the one who caused the shot to be fired. The shot was deliberate. He aimed it, he fired it. Doesn't matter that he wasn't actually holding the weapon or sitting behind it. I'd say it counts, and I ain't backing down on that one.

Unlike you Val, she can keep up with both – the chatter and the killing!

Harlequin: "It's called multi-tasking."

Spectre: "It's called 'being irritating.'"

Vixen: "I like that description. Irritating, indeed."

Harlequin:

Little baptism of fire for Nalia… she should be a quick learner, though.

You learn quick, or you die... that's how it goes. She does have basic combat training, it's just she's never had much call to use it... and she certainly hasn't had a lot of field experience.

I wonder if Raven’s doubts about her decision to take Nalia along have not increased if a little.

Raven: "Not really, no... she's a rookie... rookies react like this... assuming they don't get killed right off the bat, they become veterans. I think she's got it in her, but she -needs- a few close calls like this before the instincts start kicking in. It was the same for all of us."

I guess with his mental stats Minsc would be quite familiar with the creative uses that some abusive teachers (GRRR! ) find for their rulers…

I went to Catholic school. Quite familiar with getting rapped across the knuckles with a ruler.

Yay! Go, Vixen!! You’re up to joint forth place already, yay!!

Well, she won't be going -that- much higher in the standings. Like I said, she's not as combat-capable as the others.

Grenade Time

"What time? - Grenade time..."

Gruumsh: "You were killed by Jan Jansen! What sort of an orc are... WERE you?"

Well, to be fair, Jan did get his Marksman qualification on his first attempt...

I see the orcs bought their operating system from Microsoft. And forgot to download the security patch

Yeah... on a daily basis, they get so many popups, their systems crash.

And now she's calling him Val. Gotta be luvvvv.

Nah, not quite yet. She's just being informal and irreverent... in other words, she's just being herself!

Saalika: "Rule 4. If you're a communications officer like you, or a spook like me, let the grunts do the ground fighting."

Cipher: (Dodging Gauss rifle fire) "I'm beginning to agree with you..."

There was a story I once read that relied on the ability to get a computer drunk. The computer was fitted with a device to analyse the content of food and warn the owner of attempts to poison him. It was altered to react to alcohol at a party and got too drunk to function properly.

I've never heard of this one... can you remember anything about the title or author?

Valygar either has thewrong number of total kills or your breakdown is missing some infantry - the four from this chapter I think.

Good catch. That should be 9 infantry and 1 vehicle. Thanks for the heads-up.

Eh, I don't know about that... I mean, a too-small shirt would stop short of her belly button... which, I think, is an awesome look.

oh yeah...

However, it would also be very tight-fitting, and that's not so much cute, as it is, "I'm marginally slutty." At least that's how I look at it. (Shrug)

true...

this is my online comic addiction..

http://www.giantitp....ntITP/ootscript

Ah, Grenschutzgruppe-Neun... (I think I spelled that right) Yeah. GSG-9 is pretty awesome, when I played Counterstrike, I usually played as a GSG-9 operative. It's true the choice was only cosmetic, but I liked being part of GSG-9... (other choices were US Navy DEVGRU (a.k.a. SEAL 6), France's GIGN, or Britain's SAS) But I always went with GSG-9.

gotta love those gas masks...

Anywho, using an explosive in the grenade makes it an "HE-grenade"... HE grenades' primary usage is to smack people with the actual explosion and overpressure wave. Flashbangs technically aren't supposed to be used for that purpose. So I guess Jan's grenade was technically an HE as opposed to a flashbang.

assault grenade is what you're looking for...

assault grenades are high explosives in a flimsy thin metal case, (little or no shrapnel) designed to be tossed into a bunker before rusing in with weapons, to stun and confuse defenders...defensive grenades are full of shrapnel, and since the lethal area is wider than most people can throw a grenade, you take cover after tossing it...more lethal, both to user and target...

in fact the swiss (?) make a dual role grenade, a detachable fragmentation sleeve you can pull off to turn a assault grenade into a defensive grenade...

And dude, she is SO not blonde. VH argues that she's a redhead... which is true insofar as her in-game avatar is... but her portrait clearly shows her as a brunette... so either red, brown, or reddish-brown... but not even close to blonde, dude. No way.

And this isn't the first time you've called her blonde, either... but she's not... not even close!

she looks blonde to me...

no, but a certain sense of sarcasm...

Boo: "For the last time, I'm not bad, I'm just rendered that way!"

Seriously... Omega Boo even has the Jessica Rabbit -voice-.

just btw...after i finish my first run thru of kotor, i am planning two stories...

a kotor bg crossover, with jolee as jan

bastilla as jaheira, hk as edwin, canderous as korgan, zaalbar as minsc, mission as imoen, carth as valygar, and t3 as boo...

then i will finally write the story idea someone once suggested..

knights who wear naughty underthings and the women who love them...

the jan springer show...

i just need more dialogs with jolee, and others...i've got a lock on the punchlines, which inevitably are the hardest stuff for me to write...

this is my online comic addiction..

http://www.giantitp....ntITP/ootscript

Yeah, Haley really does give off a strong Imoen-vibe, doesn't she?

I've been an Order of the Stick follower for some time now. Few months, at least.

gotta love those gas masks...

The SAS guys had the gas masks. The DEVGRU guys wore ski masks, and the GSG-9 troopers wore the kevlar helmets... at least in the default character models. Back when CS was still in its Beta stages, they did a lot of tweaking of that stuff.

I still kinda miss CS, but I don't want to have to buy a new copy of Half-Life just to be able to play it again. I've now got UT-2004 for my online FPS fix. Anyway, yeah, I got into CS probably at the tail end of Beta 2.0 and the early days of 3.0... and I stuck with it for a while, but I think I may have stopped playing around the days of Beta 7.0 (Well before it became a commercial release) The only reason I stopped playing it, though, was because my network connection became really flaky for games. I don't know what the deal was, but I could, say, download huge files just fine, but I'd get some really awful lag spikes when playing games. Sucked, because otherwise I would have stuck with CS and Rocket Arena and all that good stuff...

Then again, maybe that was a -good- thing. Doubtful I would have gotten my thesis written if I were trying to cram it in between CS sessions.

defensive grenades are full of shrapnel, and since the lethal area is wider than most people can throw a grenade, you take cover after tossing it...more lethal, both to user and target...

Exactly. I know the difference between offensive versions and defensive versions. But yeah, since frags throw shrapnel everywhere, you pretty much have to take cover after you heave them, or risk getting perforated yourself.

she looks blonde to me...

I don't understand that... are you sure you're not color blind?

No, really... I mean, her head is -not- yellow!

a kotor bg crossover, with jolee as jan

Personality wise, they fit... but voice-wise, Jolee as Sarevok makes more sense...

bastilla as jaheira, hk as edwin, canderous as korgan, zaalbar as minsc, mission as imoen, carth as valygar, and t3 as boo...

Bastila actually strikes me as more of a Mazzy type, and not just because they're both voiced by Jennifer Hale... HK as Edwin seems like a good choice, though I'm not sure how well it would work hearing "Meatbag" constantly in Edwin's thick accent. Canderous as Korgan would kinda work, but Canderous actually isn't just a bloodthirsty psycho... Zaalbar isn't quite as "simple" as Minsc... Mission works perfect for Imoen, though... Carth makes a good Valygar, and T3 is perfect as Boo.

i just need more dialogs with jolee, and others...i've got a lock on the punchlines, which inevitably are the hardest stuff for me to write...

Go for it.

Notary Public / Nota-Republic:

1. Ok, not really related, but...

http://www.megatokyo...hp?strip_id=102

A link to one of my newest obsessions: MegaTokyo. The reason? We have GOT to get Imoen one of those IAC shirts.

Weird Coincidence: One of my friends gave me that exact shirt for my birthday one year. Because, apparently, I am cute.

Jan Jansen inched out from behind the tree he was using for cover, sticking his head out just enough to get a glimpse of what was going on. A sudden burst of weapons fire sent him scrambling back to the shelter of his “wooden palisade.” “Why, that’s just rude…” he muttered to himself.

I imagine they think you're equally rude.

“No worries, Vixen. Back in two shakes of a griffin’s tail…”

And then Jaheira began to worry. A lot.

“Ensign, Rule #1: Don’t. Stick your head out. It draws fire.”

Something those redshirts on Star Trek never learn.

“Let us teach them, Boo! School is in session, and Minsc has the giant ruler!”

You write Minsc so welll... I love this line.

“And once again, the forces of Good triumph over the legions of Evil! Ah, victory tastes sweet, does it not, Boo? Like chocolate… or a marshmallow… or a slightly dodgy avocado…”

“I don’t have taste buds, Minsc.”

Lovely ending quip.

Great chapter, Alpha
-Blue

Weird Coincidence: One of my friends gave me that exact shirt for my birthday one year. Because, apparently, I am cute.

Nice.

Seriously, we gotta set Imoen up with one of those... and Falynn can have a purple wombat shirt. I'm thinking an Oasis vs. Kusari for Jaheira... you know, from Sluggy Freelance?

And I suppose Minsc would need an Elan (From Order of the Stick) shirt... or something...

Something those redshirts on Star Trek never learn.

Though in later Treks, the Redshirts are the ones who live... it's the Yellowshirts that got whupped.

You write Minsc so welll... I love this line.

Thanks. It just popped into my gigantic head.

Yeah, Haley really does give off a strong Imoen-vibe, doesn't she?

god, yes...

The SAS guys had the gas masks. The DEVGRU guys wore ski masks, and the GSG-9 troopers wore the kevlar helmets... at least in the default character models. Back when CS was still in its Beta stages, they did a lot of tweaking of that stuff.

urm...i'm talking the reality, not the game...real gsg-9 troopers wear ski masks and gas masks to conceal their identity, lest their family's be targetted by terrorists..

Then again, maybe that was a -good- thing. Doubtful I would have gotten my thesis written if I were trying to cram it in between CS sessions.

game addiction..

she looks blonde to me...

I don't understand that... are you sure you're not color blind?

No, really... I mean, her head is -not- yellow!

her portrait reminds me of drew barrymore...besides, i use sk to color her hair, to the same value as aerie..

a kotor bg crossover, with jolee as jan

Personality wise, they fit... but voice-wise, Jolee as Sarevok makes more sense...

personality is all that counts... his stories about his friend dax is so...jan-esque...i originally concieved of hk as jan...that didn't quite work... then i talked to jolee...

bastilla as jaheira, hk as edwin, canderous as korgan, zaalbar as minsc, mission as imoen, carth as valygar, and t3 as boo...

Bastila actually strikes me as more of a Mazzy type, and not just because they're both voiced by Jennifer Hale... HK as Edwin seems like a good choice, though I'm not sure how well it would work hearing "Meatbag" constantly in Edwin's thick accent. Canderous as Korgan would kinda work, but Canderous actually isn't just a bloodthirsty psycho... Zaalbar isn't quite as "simple" as Minsc... Mission works perfect for Imoen, though... Carth makes a good Valygar, and T3 is perfect as Boo.

bastilla...the nagging, the light side, the prying, and the strict commentary...bastilla is jaheira..

The force could find a place here, if it was properly cleansed and balanced...

hk...

master, those wookies have a properly bloodthirsty attitude. (that is for soft, squishy water filled meatbags)

canderous...hmmm...korgan is much more funny and outgoing than canderous...

carth is so valygar...

mission is utterly perfect as imoen...

i just need more dialogs with jolee, and others...i've got a lock on the punchlines, which inevitably are the hardest stuff for me to write...

Go for it.

gotta finish the game, see more dialog..

oh frick, oh crap, oh banta poo-doo..

i am going to restart again...

i am finding the scoundrel counselor to be utterly not satisfactory..

maybe soldier guardian?

soldier sentinel?

first, i am bashing everything in my path, forget force powers, i am following the lilacor school of combat...the only powers i use ever are heal, speed and force storm...

just ran up against those dark jedi in mannan...i got so annoyed at their insanity attacks!!!

and i was counting on implants to protect me from their powers...until the buggers hit me with a force wave and i got stunned!!!

soldier sentinel for me!!!

i am thinking of doing mannan second after tatooine...and looting all those cool dark jedi gear..

plus, the sneak attack bonuses don't work well as advertised, since you rarely have a chance to make consecutive attacks on stunned enemy...better to rely on the double damage of a successful critical strike...and master flurry...

your comments about the soldier guardian make a lot more sense...

yeah, force powers are cool, but the best ones are dark side..and even with counselor force focus, they don't do all that well...

However, it would also be very tight-fitting, and that's not so much cute, as it is, "I'm marginally slutty." At least that's how I look at it. (Shrug)

On the other hand, an oversized shirt, like, say, one that hung to her knees would just make her look small, which would very much emphasize the cuteness factor. That's kinda the crux of the thing. I think "cute" as opposed to "hot." (For me, the terms aren't interchangeable.)

I agree with Alpha! Girls in oversized shirts, that is soooo cute… and for most part I prefer “cute” over “hot”.

And dude, she is SO not blonde. VH argues that she's a redhead... which is true insofar as her in-game avatar is... but her portrait clearly shows her as a brunette... so either red, brown, or reddish-brown... but not even close to blonde, dude. No way.

Yeah, I can see how some might mistake Imoen’s eye color for bluish-gray, but Nalia being blonde??? Oy! Like how is that possible?

And this isn't the first time you've called her blonde, either... but she's not... not even close!

Exactly. Good thing she’s a brunette in your story – makes me like her a LOT more.

Yay for buffers! Mine’s dwindled to about 25 now…

You're asking for it, pal.

Yeah, but now I’m sort of blocked with the finish line in sight… and that’s bad…

Yay! Go, Vixen!! You’re up to joint forth place already, yay!!

Well, she won't be going -that- much higher in the standings. Like I said, she's not as combat-capable as the others.

Awwww… I’ll still be cheering her on, anyways.

Yeah, Haley really does give off a strong Imoen-vibe, doesn't she?

Does she really? It doesn’t seem so to me for some reason… I think Haley’s closer to a definition of “Hot” and more aware of it, while Imoen’s just “Cute”. Like this example here… it wouldn’t really work for me with Imoen:

http://www.giantitp....ootscript?SK=35

Bastila actually strikes me as more of a Mazzy type, and not just because they're both voiced by Jennifer Hale...

Uh-uh, no, no way. For one thing, Mazzy never seems to doubt herself, while Bastila seems to do just that all the time. Mazzy is sort of “inhumanly” good and she always does the right thing, of course. Bastila is very much flawed and has a whole lot of inner demons to fight with… and my main reason for liking Bastila is that she screws up. Big time. That makes me really feel for her.

Now if Mazzy were shown making the wrong decisions at times, I might even tolerate her, but no…

That said, I don’t think Bastila and Jaheira are a good match either. To me they are very different. The doubts are there, but Jaheira never did climb on the soapbox at any time to sprout her propaganda, like Bastila does at first.

Jaheira would be a lot closer match with Juhani, though that’s not perfect either.

And Canderous is definitely Sarevok. Both live to do battle, but neither are bloodthirsty maniacs. They are born warriors.

Seriously, we gotta set Imoen up with one of those... and Falynn can have a purple wombat shirt. I'm thinking an Oasis vs. Kusari for Jaheira... you know, from Sluggy Freelance?

Care to provide a visual aid for this one?

And Canderous is definitely Sarevok. Both live to do battle, but neither are bloodthirsty maniacs. They are born warriors.

THAT'S IT!!!

canderous is saravok!!!

juhani is too brooding, too wrapped up in the darkness within her..besides, my plotline (as much as i ever do plot lines) involves bastilla being preachy...but its going to be jolee and hk doing most of the dialog, with the protagonist going "OY!!!"

its going to be a mostly sarcastic piece about how bioware recycles personalitys for their games...of course, we all know i am the least sarcastic person on earth...

its going to be a mostly sarcastic piece about how bioware recycles personalitys for their games...of course, we all know i am the least sarcastic person on earth...

Well, eh, to be honest, I don't think they recycle all that much. Just looking at the BG2 - KotOR comparison... really, not too many likenesses between the NPC's there, at least I don't think so. Imoen-Mission is the one most obvious, but the rest are going to be more or less subtle.

The one bit of recycling I would point out is the likeness of Viconia and Nathyrra with that good old drow-on-path-of-redemption story. I mean, I like the redemption angle, I really do, but... it seems a little overdone. If they're going to give us another female drow NPC as a romance option, and with the redemption angle, I think I'm going to scream.

Then again, NWN had some exceptionally original and non-stereotypical characters like the dwarven thief Dorna, the half-orc sorcerer Xanos and of course, none other than Deekin, the kobold bard! So, I don't think Bioware are all that guilty of recycling.

urm...i'm talking the reality, not the game...real gsg-9 troopers wear ski masks and gas masks to conceal their identity, lest their family's be targetted by terrorists..

All real CT forces do that. I thought that was pretty straightforward.

her portrait reminds me of drew barrymore...besides, i use sk to color her hair, to the same value as aerie..

Agreed on the portrait. A lot of people have said that... but there's a distinction to be made between what the portrait actually shows and what you -feel- the character should actually look like. I mean, ok, if, for whatever reason you think Nalia looks better as a blonde, I suppose that's your call, but I am confused as to whether you actually believe her hair in the default Bioware portrait is blonde... because if that's the case, then, in all seriousness, you need to get your eyes checked.

Now if it's merely an issue of "Well, given her personality, etc. etc., it just seems like it'd make more sense having her as a blonde..." Well, that is a matter of interpretation, and I can't say "You're wrong" with regards to that. I can, however, say "You're wrong..." if you're trying to tell me something I, with my own eyes, see as reddish-brown is actually yellow.

See the distinction?

personality is all that counts... his stories about his friend dax is so...jan-esque...i originally concieved of hk as jan...that didn't quite work... then i talked to jolee...

Right... well... I understand that the personality makeup is the most important part, but considering that one of the few ways we get information about the personality is the way the lines are delivered, I don't think we can just dismiss the actor, either. Ever watch a cartoon where they take a beloved character and swap the actor voicing him/her midway through a season? It's jarring... messes you up, doesn't it? Obviously, Sarevok and Jolee have nothing in common aside from the actor voicing them, but I think you get my point anyway.

Hopefully.

canderous...hmmm...korgan is much more funny and outgoing than canderous...

Among other things. Canderous doesn't have much of a sense of humor, it's true.

mission is utterly perfect as imoen...

I certainly think so... to the point where, in an early Omega chapter, when I had Imoen picking a lock, I had her say a Mission-style "Simple!" when she was finished.

first, i am bashing everything in my path, forget force powers, i am following the lilacor school of combat...the only powers i use ever are heal, speed and force storm...

That's pretty much what my Soldier/Guardian character used. That was about it. Well, Force Wave instead of Storm, but it was effective.

and i was counting on implants to protect me from their powers...

Hmmmm... well, you and I don't see eye to eye on this stuff, I guess... I mean, there are times when I get really frustrated, or I just don't feel like working, and I'll blatantly cheat through a game. But for the most part, I don't... I don't really have much fun with that stuff. There was a time when I just didn't have the patience and would, say, make my Starcraft units invincible so I could just bulldoze along a map and not have to worry about losing. But a couple of years later when I started playing the game again, I was all legit about it. I'm not one of those people that -likes- games to be hard because they think it's "a challenge." I happen to think that a game that's so difficult that it's frustrating actually defeats the purpose of having a game in the first place, but nor do I believe in such obvious cheating.

Now, you do, and more power to you... (Unless you're using an aimbot against me in UT-2004, then I'll have to smack you. ) But I guess my point is that, sure, my characters in KotOR weren't perfect. Some didn't have quite enough hit points for my liking. Some were vulnerable to certain types of Force powers. Blah blah blah... and sure, there were times when a certain kind of enemy could just wipe the floor with my party. But that's why I saved constantly, and constantly swapped party members to deal with different situations. I never found any battles in KotOR to be so horribly unfair as to make me lose interest in the game, and so I saw no real need to cheat. So I'm afraid I can't really relate to the problems you're having.

i am thinking of doing mannan second after tatooine...and looting all those cool dark jedi gear..

Manaan does have the Dark Jedi in the Sith Enclave, but I don't really think their gear's all that cool. If you want Jedi-type stuff, you'll probably want to go headhunting on Korriban... for what it's worth, I usually do things this way. "Tatooine (to pick up HK), Kashyyyk (to get Zaalbar's stuff done), Manaan (to do the Zeoharadan quests), and then I flit around typing up loose ends before heading off to Korriban.)

plus, the sneak attack bonuses don't work well as advertised, since you rarely have a chance to make consecutive attacks on stunned enemy...better to rely on the double damage of a successful critical strike...and master flurry...

My Soldier/Guardian focused on twin blades and master flurry.

My Scout/Sentinel focused on single blade dueling style and Critical Strike. Sneak Attack is a lot like BG backstabs... you can pretty much only do them if you're coming out of invisibility. And since you can't go invisible in the middle of a fight without physically running your character around a corner, you basically have one good attack, then you're stuck duking it out... and Scoundrels just can't hold their own toe to toe like that. I like Crit Strike a LOT better... plus, I think the animation looks really cool.

Girls in oversized shirts, that is soooo cute… and for most part I prefer “cute” over “hot”.

I'm glad we're in agreement... though, don't misconstrue what I'm saying. If a "hot" individual walked up to me and said "You. Me. Now." I doubt I'd say no.

The point simply is that I think Imoen is more of a "cute" than a "hot." Aspects of both, but leaning towards the former. As a counterexample, I always figured Enara leaned the other way... Imoen gives off a "girl next door" vibe, whereas Enara was a bit more of the "boiling cauldron of sexuality." Not too much, mind you, just a little bit more...

Yeah, I can see how some might mistake Imoen’s eye color for bluish-gray, but Nalia being blonde??? Oy! Like how is that possible?

(Points up) What I said to UU... do you genuinely think the portrait (The Default BG2 one, mind you) shows something other than blue with grayish tint? Like I said to him, if your reading of her personality and such leads you to believe that her eye color would be something different, then that's perfectly fine. That's your call. But if you're seriously trying to tell me that the color in her default portrait (Again, the BG2 one) is not blue, then I'd really have to question that. I quite seriously don't understand. That's not meant to be condemning, I'm honestly just curious, because it just kinda blows my mind as to how that doesn't look blue to you.

(Amendment: Ok, apparently, you're not the only one who thinks they're green... I just got a second opinion... man... I think my head's gonna explode...)

Exactly. Good thing she’s a brunette in your story – makes me like her a LOT more.

Oh, I see how it is... UU's vice is blondes, VH's is redheads, yours is brunettes... now it ALL makes sense.

Yeah, but now I’m sort of blocked with the finish line in sight… and that’s bad…

May I suggest Drano?

Does she really? It doesn’t seem so to me for some reason… I think Haley’s closer to a definition of “Hot” and more aware of it, while Imoen’s just “Cute”. Like this example here… it wouldn’t really work for me with Imoen:

Really? I was actually thinking about that exact strip when I suggested that Haley gives off an Im vibe... then again, Harlequin is pretty different from even ToB Imoen... not quite as cutesy, though she's still got a lot of it. I don't imagine her ever really being the "hot" type... but I think, as she got older, she'd start leaning more towards it than she did before... not a lot, but some. (Shrug)

and my main reason for liking Bastila is that she screws up. Big time. That makes me really feel for her.

I suppose, but on the surface, they're both pretty self-righteous... they both make that initial impression. Bastila starts questioning herself midway through, though, which Mazzy doesn't, but then again, Mazzy doesn't get as much opportunity to speak her mind. I certainly don't think, for example, that she's not questioning every move she made that led to Patrick and the others getting killed. She's pissed as hell at the Shade Lord for what he did, but I certainly don't think that she's the type to just be mad at someone else and not acknowledge the possibility that it was her screw-ups which landed them all in that situation.

Now, to be fair, there really -isn't- that much material in the actual game itself which leads us to believe that Mazzy is anything other than the somewhat pompous paladin-wannabe that she comes across as. Maybe I'm just biased, but I actually do like the character, and I suppose because of that, I choose to read more into her than maybe is actually there. (Shrug) I'll admit that's possible.

The doubts are there, but Jaheira never did climb on the soapbox at any time to sprout her propaganda, like Bastila does at first.

Mmmmm... I don't know... Jaheira's a druid. She feels very strongly about druidic place in the natural hierarchy, and I think she can get a little preachy about it... certainly not enough to be terribly irritating, but noticeable enough. I think both of them are very opinionated, and a lot of it can be accounted for by their upbringing. More so for Bastila, however. I'll grant you that Bastila is a lot quicker to bring up the Jedi Code and the like than Jaheira is to bring up talk of Balance. Still, I find some similarities between the two. Some. Perhaps not a lot, but some.

And Canderous is definitely Sarevok. Both live to do battle, but neither are bloodthirsty maniacs. They are born warriors.

Untainted Sarevok, yes. Tainted Sarevok, no.

Care to provide a visual aid for this one?

http://www.megatokyo...hp?strip_id=102

That's Imoen's shirt... modelled very nicely by Kimiko, I might add. I know you hate manga style, but I'm quite ok with it.

http://www.penny-arc...004-08-23&res=l

That would be Falynn's "purple wombat" shirt... you can't really see, but Kara's supposed to be pregnant in that strip. Lynn wouldn't be, obviously. Personally, I think Kara makes a good Lynn, especially the annoyed expression in the 3rd panel.

http://sluggy.com/da...php?date=040930

And this last one isn't an actual shirt design, as of yet. It's actually Sluggy fanart, apparently... but I really liked the image. And it would be so badass to have Vixen wearing a T-shirt with that image on the front. Kusari's got the purple mask and the red eyes, by the way. Oasis is the other one.

its going to be a mostly sarcastic piece about how bioware recycles personalitys for their games...of course, we all know i am the least sarcastic person on earth...

I think I'd have to agree with Theo on this one, man... it's true that there are a good number of common "archetypes" that get used... simply assigning them a certain class already puts them into a mold of a sort. This guy's a paladin, therefore he, blah blah blah... for example. You know, stuff like that.

But while I see parallels between, say, KotOR characters and BG characters, I would not, in the least, argue that they're just recycled personalities... if they sometimes seem that way, I'd posit it's only because of the very broad archetypes that people instinctively try to pigeonhole characters into. (Shrug)