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Concerned Moms 3


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#1 Laufey

Posted 18 January 2003 - 03:37 PM

From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned Moms

Greetings!

Thank you for your supportive words. I have managed to learn that my son's girlfriend runs a theatre, which sounds reasonably all right. At least she has an income of her own which I understand is adequate, so she hopefully isn't after him only for the money. I just hope she won't lure him into any unsavory habits. I can *swear* that nosering is her fault, though he adamantly denies it. And he *still* isn't prepared to let me meet the girl. Honestly, you'd think he doesn't trust me to be my normal, reasonable and calm self. Perhaps his father will have better luck.

A Necromancer is it? Why, that's my own speciality as well! :D That sounds just lovely, though she should really dedicate herself completely to the Art (and I'm not talking theatre here) if she wants to achieve true greatness.

Have you read Joke 666 yet, about the Paladin and the Demon?

All the best,

Thayvian Matriarch

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From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

Hello again.

Well, you should be happy that your boy's girlfriend is an orphan, really. Judging how I scrutinize the love interests of my daughters, that is probably a good thing too. Just consider this : some mothers might not find your son suitable for their daughters, thus subjecting your son to all matter of insulting scrutiny. I must admit I have gone down that road myself sometimes. *sigh* My eldest has had a most unlucky love-life, sadly, so I am usually very harsh on any boy she gets involved with. There was this shady bard character to persuade her for months just to be able to brag he had bedded a Drow. Well, I can proudly say his voice is a few octaves higher now.

Then there was the time she came home with a Drow male. I wasn't to happy about that. Drow males on the surface can be quite frustrated men who finally get face-to-face with weaker females and take out their frustrations on them. Of course, my daughter is hardly defenseless, but still...

She's going with an elf now, her childhood sweatheart. He's a bit spineless, really, but very devoted and thus, controllable by her. He's decent enough, even though I have a longstanding argument with the boy's mother. He's also a mage, non specialized, btw.

Oh, and I'm not surprised your son never bothered to introduce you to his girlfriend. No son wants to run the risk of having her mother hate the girl. I only found out about my son's relationship after, ahum, 'walking in' on them during a surprise visit to his house in Athkatla.

And there is little chance she'll focus completely on the art, since she loves acting too much, sadly. There's even talk of, errr, marriage soon. Selune have mercy on me...

Oh, and joke 666 was great! I loved the punchline. 'Hey, withdraw you hands, tincan! Those aren't oranges! LOL!

Yours truly,
Dark Elven Mother

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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned Moms

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's love troubles. I have had a few problems in that area myself, really too complex to go into here. And though I now have a perfect mate there are still reasons why we cannot be as open about our relationship as we would like.

'Walking in' is beginning to sound like an excellent idea actually, it's probably my one chance of getting to see the girl for myself. I hope my darling manages that part of their relationship all right, he's really much more innocent than he would like to pretend. And I'm sure he's still perfectly unaware that I found a certain spellbook under his bed, describing the rituals for conjuring constructs of gasping concubines. That girl had better treat him gently, or I'll rip her spine out through her nose.

Marriage may be a good thing in your son's case, as long as the girl is trustworthy. At least you will get the satisfaction of planning the wedding, something I myself have every intention of doing once
my baby decides to tie the knot. I'll make sure he gets the magnificent celebration he deserves. I just hope the girl is a worthy one. Hmmm...perhaps I will ask his father to check things out, he is good at such things.

In Fellow Motherhood,

Thayvian Matriarch

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From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

Gasping Concubine Golems? Good Selune, I haven't heard of those since I left the Underdark. They are used to, ahum, train our younger males, since inexperienced in males is considered an offence to any female. And since we sadly cannot continue to exist as a race if all our males are killed, such measures are necessary.

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles in your love-life. But you are a powerful female, no? Why don't you just seize power, take what you want and destroy everything and everyone that gets in your way.

Ah, sorry. My Drow past is flaring up again. It's just that I am SO angry with my youngest at the moment. She has just willingly destroyed a valuable painting to... to... mend her chicken-patch! Apparently, a passing cart lost a barrel and it knocked a hole in one of the wooden walls surrounding the pen, and she decides to fill it up so that her chickens won't escape... and she used my most valuable painting to cover up the hole.

Of course, she loves her chickens very much, and I wouldn't want to see her hurt, but... there ARE limits.

And, yes, if my son does intend to marry, he will be given a grand wedding at my Keep, befitting a child of mine! My son would probably prefer a quiet ceremony for friends and family, but I won't let him, of course.

Yours sincerely,
Dark Elven Mother.

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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned moms

I always thought I could have fitted nicely into Drow society, actually. Sadly, the problem to which I referred earlier is not such that it can be resolved through simple curses or destruction, as tempting as it has been to do so at time. It is a complex matter, caused by a youthful mistake, and now we suffer for it. Still, I retain hope that one day things will take a turn for the better.

I'm so sorry to hear about your painting! Really, sometimes children have *no* appreciation for their parents' property. I admit that breaking things can be stress relieving and that I occasionally indulge in that, but my son is something different. He does these magical experiments you see, and whenever he's home to visit I have to put my most precious ornaments away, since I know that the Mansion will soon be shaking from the explosions. Would you know that once he blew out a *wall*? I still don't know how he managed that.

Of course, whenever he does come home I always make certain that his room is ready and that his favorite dishes are prepared by the servants. *sigh* I suppose if he *does* marry that still-anonymous
girl it will be more rarely than before. I did decide to ask my lover to check her out, as I mentioned before. And if she should turn out to be totally unsuitable and a danger to our Little One, she may just quietly disappear - one way or another.

Have you had many problems with spam, btw? I keep getting these adverts for the 'Saerk Carriage Insurance Company'. Not to mention offers for 'Abysmal Real Estate' and 'Nude Elvez'. Well, I took the afternoon off and researched a new spell that will track down the senders of those unwanted messages, and then wilt their favorite bodyparts. I only wish I could make it return a picture of the event as well. Let me know if you're interested and I'll send it to you as an attachment.

Fellow Mother,

Thayvian Matriarch

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From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

My condolences about the state of your household. Luckily, none of my children as, as of yet, magically inclined. My eldest is a ranger/mage however, a rather rare combination of adventuring professions, but she did not start studying magics until she was in her late teens, so we never experienced blown-up walls. Your son must have had magical talents at an early age if he was able to channel the amount of power necessary to blow up a wall.

Fortunately, the only mage who lives in our keep with us, is my lover's sister. She's a perky snip of a girl with pink-dyed hair, but make no mistake : She is one of the most powerful archmages to walk Toril. Many a foe has underestimated her and they are now either dead or horribly embarrassed. She turned this dragon into a frog once, you see?

Of course, she still creates serious accidents. She lives in a wizard-tower build into the outer walls into the keep, you see. Aside from several explosions, she was once able to make the tower launch into the air like a Kara-turan projectile, because it floated down into place two hours later. She wasn't even busy enchanting. She was using her magic to light the oven so she could bake a pie!

*sigh* We have more incidents like that. My eldest daughter befriended a red dragon, you see, and he often came to visit when she was little, and still does since she's living at home again after defeating a rather nasty Death Knight near Calimport (It's a little complicated and long story, though). Anyway, this dragon is so large it even dwarfs the Keep. Needless to say, it rather worried the populace till they actually met the dragon in question. Still, try explaining that 'the dragon's nice' whenever more would-be Knights came to ask if the dragon was availiable for slaying.

And spam, well, I've been having not as much trouble with spam as I have with pop-ups. Recently, a program which is supposed to filter and disable pop-ups, well, popped up actually. I doubt they are aware of the irony of advertising an anti-pop-up program via pop-up itself. I would be very much interested in the program you mentioned. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Dark Elven mother
Rogues do it from behind.




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