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Concerned Moms 1


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#1 Laufey

Posted 18 January 2003 - 03:22 PM

 
From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

Greetings,

You may not know me, but I felt I had to reply to you personally after reading some of your posts on the www.concernedmothers.web forum. Well, I can wholeheartedly say that I feel your pain, sister...

Especially on the subjects of nose-rings, actually. Errrg, when I first saw my daughter, her perfect nose marred by that horrible little piece of metal, I felt like fainting on the spot. It was even worse when she actually took it out and you could actually SEE the tiny little hole it went in. Of course, you have it a lot worse, since you told us about your son having connected this horrible little chain to an earring.

Like your son, my daughter has chosen adventuring as her main profession and she feels she needs this little ring to make her appear a little fiercer than she actually is, since she considers herself to be short. Your son probably has a similar reason, but I just fail to see how a piercing can remedy that.

And, of course, what I just can't stand is the placidness of the father about these matters! I can't stomach those phrases my lover utters when I try to discuss these matters with him. It's always the same : 'It's just a phase, dear', 'Don't worry, she can take care of herself...' or 'It's her own body and her own choice...'. Ugh, it's as if they don't care!

Anyway, I apologize for unburdening myself on you, but I think it's comforting for both of us to know we aren't alone in these matters.

Yours Truly,
Dark Elven Mother

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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned Moms

My dear lady, I cannot fully express the comfort I felt upon receiving your understanding message. It is so good to be able to share my worries with a woman who knows what these things are truly like.

As you said, noserings seem to be some sort of divine punishment visited upon mothers all over Toril. Never would I have imagined that my sweet baby would willingly mutilate himself in that manner. He always was such a pretty child, with the cutest little nose imaginable. And then he turns up for Solstice Dinner wearing that hideous Object poked through his face. *shudders*

As you say, I think it is probably some sort of compensation. He always did have this obsession with trying to make himself look frightening, rather than being the adorable little lamb he really is.Though I thought he'd be satisfied with growing a beard, in a misguided attempt to make himself look older so he'd be able to buy Restricted Spell Components without a written permit from his guardian. It almost seems as if he is rebelling against something, though why he would want to rebel when he has a loving mother looking out for his interests I really can't understand. It wouldn't surprise me if there's some horrible and unsuitable girl who has talked him into it. *sigh* There are so many greedy little vixens out there, just dying to get their claws into my precious baby...

Also, while his father doesn't exactly approve of the whole thing, he seems to find some sort of irrational amusement in it nevertheless. Men. They just don't seem to comprehend the seriousness of these matters.

Once again, my thanks for your kind and encouraging words.

Sincerely,

Thayvian Matriarch

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From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

Hello again.

I am happy that my words have had the desired effect. It really is wonderful to have someone with similar experiences to talking to and discuss our worries.

Then problem is that children rebel because they A) need to rebel and :D are given the opportunity to rebel. In the Underdark, rebellious behaviour often leads to swift punishment, but I have come to experience that, on the surface, rebellious teenagers are more or less a given. *sigh* Divine punishment for mothers, as you said... My youngest took it to extremes last year when she tried to take up worship of Lolth because she felt overshadowed by the rest of her family. Luckily, this turned out to be a (rather dangerous) phase, and she's now content to spent time with her chickens... perhaps a little too much time, but that is another concern. But, with a new baby on the way, I fear for any future 'phases'.

I'm sure you must have experienced that even the sweetest of children turn into demonspawn themselves during puberty. My eldest was interested in becoming a ranger from an early age, and started staying out in the woods for days on ends, not even considering how worried her poor mother would be... I seriously considered to increase the amount of logging-camps around my Keep, even though I knew my daughter would never forgive me.

On the subject of lovers, I believe that's also on of the mother's bane. Unfortunately, my eldest is leading a very undrow-like lovelife... Far the better, you'd think. Recently, she started dating an ELF of all races. Even though this elf is rather spineless, I have a longstanding argument with his mother... My son, a normally very quiet boy, is now seeing one of his actresses, a girl I definitely do not approve of! Anyway, this year's solstice dinner was most... interesting to say the least.

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Dark Elven Mother.

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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned Moms

Greetings, dear Dark Elven Mother, and so wonderful to hear from you again!

It was very interesting to hear you mention the Underdark, a place that I have always thought sounds absolutely fascinating, though I have never been there myself. There seem to be so many interesting customs, though of course I dare not trust entirely in the books I've procured. Still, the one I came across on Drow Erotic Arts did work out very well, and my lover certainly appreciated it, particularly the 'Matron's Manipulation'.

As for the children, I am very impressed with how you manage to cope with three. I have just the one (sadly enough, there are personal reasons why we haven't been able to allow ourselves more) and he is *such* a handful. Always has been. True, he was always a sweet boy, and very bright, but he always seems to get himself into trouble. Give him the slightest opportunity and he will blow something up, get himself cursed, or stumble across some dangerous beast. He's obsessed with pets you see. It wouldn't surprise me if he drags a dragon home with him one day. Sure, he will *say* that he's going to feed it and walk it all on his own, but it will be I and his father who'll have to deal with it after the first week I'm sure...

As for girls, I have my suspicions about that. There is *definitely* something in the air, though he hasn't said anything. And why would he keep it silent if the girl isn't totally unsuitable? She could even be some sort of fiend for all I know! Well, if she does anything to upset or hurt my baby she will find herself a very surprised pile of charcoal...

Always happy to hear from you,

Thayvian Matriarch

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From : Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To : Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject : Concerned moms

A pleasure, as always.

That book you mentioned, would it perhaps be Matron Zz'pora's Beginner's Guide to Dark Elven Eroticism? I recognize the 'Matron's Manipulation' as one of her discoveries. If so, just a small warning : I advise against just flipping open any page and trying. Drow eroticism is an art that has been honed for eons, and is not to be taken lightly by the uninitiated. It would be best to stay in the first quarter of the book and only continuing on after mastering the earlier techniques. Some more advanced techniques have been known to be damaging to people's healths. So, take it slowly. The enjoyment will be better. LOL! My lover and I have been together for forty years, and I have yet to train him in over half the available techniques.

But if you liked the 'Matron's Manipulation', you must both be very dexterous, so you'll love the 'Spider's Caress' on page 27. Though, due to experimentation in the past, I find that step 27B should end in a pinch, not with a bite. Plus, the experience is all the better when both lovers are wearing velvet gloves, but that's up to you.

Oh, pets... Don't bring that one up... My eldest always had a love for pets, and seeing she's a ranger now, that has never ended. Luckily, her choice in pets was and is not as extreme as your son's might be. My daughter's first cat soon became pregnant and then we suddenly had fourteen. To her credit, though, she has always taken care of them afterwards. Then there was the Lim-Lim, which is still living with us, btw. Still, we all love that little overgrown planar flea. My youngest has quite an affinity for chickens, but whenever my eldest comes home, she turns my keep into an animal hospital. Locals bring in their sheep for healing, their pigs dragging their muddy feet all over my clean floors. Suddenly, the towers of my keep are used for birds with broken wings... Even an avarial graced our towers once! Of course, I could never refuse my little angels... *sigh*

As for boys and girls, well, I know THAT feelings. I just can't stand my son's girlfriend. She's a human girl with a halfling father... so very, very, very cheerful and she insists on calling me mom! Still, I think she might be after my son's money. He's got quite a reputation in the world of the theatre after all. He says he loves her though, so I cannot act and it is maddening...

I hope your son is a little more reasonable,

Yours sincerely,
Dark Elven Mother.

---

From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Erotic Onslaught

Greetings again, dear friend!

My thanks for your kind advice. Yes, that was indeed the book I was referring to. Having leafed through the volume I had already decided that it would be better to take things one step at a time. After all, as my lover pointed out, I would probably find it very unsatisfying if he were to break his back while performing some of the more advanced techniques, such as that one where it seems necessary to have eight legs each.

However, as you rightly guessed, we are both dexterous, particularly my lover, and so I thought that it would be well worth following your recommendation and attempting the 'Spider's Caress' that you recommended. I must say we loved it, and the trapeze worked out just as fine as in the pictures! In fact, it took approximately an hour for my lover to be able to get out of bed again, but he said that he didn't mind since it was all worth it. (And *I* certainly didn't mind, I'd chain him to the bedpost if I thought he would let me get away with it. What with his irregular hours, and the large number of little tramps eyeing him...even though I know he would never touch them, I still find the thought aggravating.)

Oh dear. That was him entering the room just now. I had to hide this email under a window detailing net-shopping for Necromancy spells. Somehow I don't think he'd appreciate my candor, but what he doesn't know cannot hurt him after all. Not that a great row cannot be extremely stimulating, but in this case I prefer to avoid it, since I'd really like to try out Technique 33 B this evening.

Your daughter seems much more responsible about her pets than my son. There was this episode with a pet monkey once, very destructive beast. Fortunately I was spared the worst debris since I wasn't home at the time. The Lim-Lim sounds very interesting. There are so many fascinating planar creatures, I would really like seeing one for real. Perhaps you could attach a picture?

And I know how it is about refusing the children anything. It wrenches my heart whenever I have to deny my baby something, truly it does. If he makes those large and adorable puppy eyes at me I just melt, and I really have to make an effort to remember that a Mother sometimes needs to be firm. Still, it can be difficult at times. Please see attached pic of my boy at the age of three, a chubby little angel with these lovely long eyelashes...I can't help smiling whenever I look at it. That teddy bear is almost as big as he is. I think he still keeps it somewhere, though he'd probably die rather than admit it.

As for girlfriends, I suffer with you, dear friend, and I certainly hope things will work out for the best. Perhaps some sort of divination spell could be employed? My son has *finally* admitted that he has met somebody, but he just won't give me any *details*. She's female, that's about all I've been able to learn so far. He's hiding something, I'm certain of it. Why else would he be afraid to introduce the girl to me?
Rogues do it from behind.




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