Jump to content


Damaged (on)


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 12:21 PM


Hi! There are so many sweet and touching love stories, and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade.

This was inspired by brainstorming a post-ToB Charname-Kivan relationship. But I don't think that's necessary.

I hope you enjoy. If not, please let me know. :roll:

 

They never said, "I love you."

Why would they? It just wasn't true.

Sure, he cared for her. Yes, he would do anything to spare her pain. At her request he would travel anywhere, do anything, even lay down his life for her. How could he do any less? She had saved him from self-destruction during the darkest days of his life. Her solicitude, her gentle leadership, her quests, all of these had given him the strength to continue when he might otherwise have given in.

He would also agree she cared for him as well. More importantly, however, she trusted him. When her life lay in ruins, when she had been assailed and reviled by the Non-people, devastated and betrayed, she could have traveled anywhere, sought refuge amongst the most prominent of The People. Yet she had come to him. And afterwards, after he healed her, when she could have--ought to have--moved on, she had stayed with him instead.

Admittedly they shared a bedroll whenever their physical needs demanded. And admittedly these late night grapplings had produced a child, whom they raised together.

But that still wasn't love. Was it?

No, of course it wasn't. They'd both experienced love before, the brightly blazing passion of which poets liked to sing. But the poets never mentioned the other part, did they? They never told how such ardent bonfires eventually burnt out and left only barren ashes in their wake...and that these ashes were once hearts.

Now the two of them bore hearts singed beyond sentiment. They were too damaged to love; they both knew it, and though they never spoke of it, this formed the basis of their relationship.

It came close enough to satisfy the others, however. Nobody questioned that they were in love.

But they never said, "I love you."

#2 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 04:27 PM

Hello! I rather liked this one! They shouldn't be cheery all the time, anyway! When you are discussing something that makes you as vulnerable as love, more often than not there is pain involved anyway!

They never said, "I love you."


I like how you start and end with this, it gives it a nice continuity. I also liked how they are honest about their feelings. Far too many people say this and don't mean it.

Why would they? It just wasn't true.



And here you clearly state your point.

Sure, he cared for her. Yes, he would do anything to spare her pain. At her request he would travel anywhere, do anything, even lay down his life for her. How could he do any less? She had saved him from self-destruction during the darkest days of his life. Her solicitude, her gentle leadership, her quests, all of these had given him the strength to continue when he might otherwise have given in.

He would also agree she cared for him as well. More importantly, however, she trusted him. When her life lay in ruins, when she had been assailed and reviled by the Non-people, devastated and betrayed, she could have traveled anywhere, sought refuge amongst the most prominent of The People. Yet she had come to him. And afterwards, after he healed her, when she could have-- ought to have--moved on, she had stayed with him instead.


This is loyalty, obligation and gratitude. Some would call this love, and since there are many ways of loving, for example, as a sister, mother, friend, it could be called love, but not the passionate couple kind of love.

Admittedly they shared a bedroll whenever their physical needs demanded. And admittedly these late night grapplings had produced a child, whom they raised together.


For two people that are not in love, they are seriously comitting to spending time together.

But that still wasn't love. Was it?

No, of course it wasn't. They'd both experienced love before, the brightly blazing passion of which poets liked to sing. But the poets never mentioned the other part, did they? They never told how such ardent bonfires eventually burnt out and left only barren ashes in their wake...and that these ashes were once hearts.


Oh, this description is so good it hurts.

Now the two of them bore hearts singed beyond sentiment. They were too damaged to love; they both knew it, and though they never spoke of it, this formed the basis of their relationship.


Perhaps it is better that they are together, that they don't unwittingly hurt someone who would naively expect them to return such deep passionate feelings. Still, for not being love, they at least share more understanding of each others plight and pain than most relationships I have observed.

It came close enough to satisfy the others, however. Nobody questioned that they were in love.


It's been my experience that most of the time people outside a relationship have no idea what's really going on unless you hold public shouting matches. This strikes me as a very well written peice and very true. (Yes, I know, quite funny to say something in fiction strikes you as true, but it certainly feels authentic.) Thank you!

#3 Guest_Userunfriendly_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 06:32 PM


Hi! There are so many sweet and touching love stories, and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade.


Yay!!! :)

This was inspired by brainstorming a post-ToB Charname-Kivan relationship. But I don't think that's necessary.


really its not. its almost better if you don't explain it... :roll:

I hope you enjoy. If not, please let me know. :D
 


i enjoyed it and loved it first time around... :evil:

They never said, "I love you."


sometimes the greatest passion comes from the words that aren't said.

Why would they? It just wasn't true.


yeah, right... :cry:

He would also agree she cared for him as well. More importantly, however, she trusted him. When her life lay in ruins, when she had been assailed and reviled by the Non-people, devastated and betrayed, she could have traveled anywhere, sought refuge amongst the most prominent of The People. Yet she had come to him. And afterwards, after he healed her, when she could have--ought to have--moved on, she had stayed with him instead.


this is the part i like best...the people and non-people...uncontious, and utterly normal, the awareness of the difference between elves and others...with just a few words you showed the gulf, the chasm, and how its quite impossible to bridge it...

Admittedly they shared a bedroll whenever their physical needs demanded. And admittedly these late night grapplings had produced a child, whom they raised together.


another way of showing the difference between the people and non-people...

But that still wasn't love. Was it?


yes it is.

No, of course it wasn't. They'd both experienced love before, the brightly blazing passion of which poets liked to sing. But the poets never mentioned the other part, did they? They never told how such ardent bonfires eventually burnt out and left only barren ashes in their wake...and that these ashes were once hearts.


they both put up a pretense of defending their hearts, when they both know its far too late...

Now the two of them bore hearts singed beyond sentiment. They were too damaged to love; they both knew it, and though they never spoke of it, this formed the basis of their relationship.


walking wounded...

It came close enough to satisfy the others, however. Nobody questioned that they were in love.


But they never said, "I love you."


no they don't have too...

I liked it!!! :x :( :lol: :lol:

#4 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 06:34 PM

and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade


Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one parade-raining... but at least yours has the benefit of being on-topic. :roll:

And admittedly these late night grapplings had produced a child, whom they raised together.


To misquote a line from that wonderful show Family Guy: "You were the product of a drunken, backseat gropefest and a broken prophylactic..." :evil:

Now the two of them bore hearts singed beyond sentiment. They were too damaged to love; they both knew it, and though they never spoke of it, this formed the basis of their relationship.


Loveless "marriage," huh? Gee... that's... depressing.

I always thought the subject was... interesting despite how just darned sad it is. I mean, it's... really just depressing. You've got these two people, who, for whatever reason, cling to each other, and even though it gets bad (Real bad), they can't seem to give up the ghost of the relationship.

There's just something kinda... I don't know... eerie about it, I guess. And I'm never sure what to make of it. My reactions tend to lean towards the kind of rubbernecking you do when you seen an accident on the road. It's horrible, you don't -really- want to see it, but you can't look away.

Gah. Creepy.

Anyway, this isn't so much creepy as it is just "Throw your morale down the toilet" sad. (Sniff)

I'm gonna need some wanton destruction to cheer myself back up. :cry:

#5 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 09:23 PM

I'm with Alpha on this one... 'tis depressing. I mean... I could imagine a marriage where one person would not truly love the other, but would still be compelled to stick around and uphold the relationship for either the sake of the other, or just because the aspect of companionship is still too important to just let go off so easily. But this... no, this isn't even close to that. I mean, what companionship could Kivan, the grunting elf, provide? :evil:

Interesting piece, Ursula. The topic is directly opposite the quiz theme (the love is false, or it just...isn't) that in a way it blends in and becomes an on-topic story. :cry:

-Theo :roll:

#6 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 10:14 PM

Hello!

Howdy! I don't think we've "met" before, but hi. :evil: I read your "Fear Itself," which is imo also on for this topic quiz, but then again it deals w/ a lot of the universal questions (like the nature of [a] god fex). It was such tragic fare (I liked the opening paradox, btw), fraught w/ emotion and Angst, and I thought you did an excellent job in incorporating sensory perceptions into it, which enlivened the story. As I've not played Asheron's Call, though, I didn't feel like I could provide competent feedback. I mean, it works well as a stand-alone story, but I kept having the feeling I was missing out on some startling connections.

I rather liked this one! They shouldn't be cheery all the time, anyway! When you are discussing something that makes you as vulnerable as love, more often than not there is pain involved anyway!

Thank you. That's very kind of you to say. :cry: Romantic-interest Sir Anomen's epilogue struck me as perhaps a bit optimistic. I thought that perhaps some of his demons would have come back to haunt him.


They never said, "I love you."


I like how you start and end with this, it gives it a nice continuity. I also liked how they are honest about their feelings. Far too many people say this and don't mean it.

Thanks. :x It's a question that I've wondered about. Is there a threshhold that you cross where you start to love someone? How do you really *know* you love someone? Do people really love, or do they just think they love, and confuse the complex melange of other emotions for love? But I'm rambling, aren't I? :roll:

But that still wasn't love. Was it?

No, of course it wasn't. They'd both experienced love before, the brightly blazing passion of which poets liked to sing. But the poets never mentioned the other part, did they? They never told how such ardent bonfires eventually burnt out and left only barren ashes in their wake...and that these ashes were once hearts.


Oh, this description is so good it hurts.

I appreciate your kind words here. I was wondering whether it was too much of a cliche. Was sort of bummed I couldn't fit in an allusion to a pyre here.

Perhaps it is better that they are together, that they don't unwittingly hurt someone who would naively expect them to return such deep passionate feelings.

That's exactly the point that I was trying to articulate, but I didn't know how to go about doing it--or even whether I should try to, as it might wreck the pov by showing too much self-awareness by the protagonist (who's supposed to be Kivan, but it doesn't really matter).

It's been my experience that most of the time people outside a relationship have no idea what's really going on unless you hold public shouting matches.

::nods:: Yeah, that seems to hold true from here, too. ::shrugs:: We're just human. I guess we use the lense of our own life/experience to view others' relationships, causing myopia.

This strikes me as a very well written peice and very true. (Yes, I know, quite funny to say something in fiction strikes you as true, but it certainly feels authentic.) Thank you!

No, it doesn't sound funny at all. I take it as the highest compliment. Because we write about "fantasy," I think it makes emotional verisimilitude all the more essential.

I appreciate your having read this, and your kind words. I'm very glad that you've found this to your liking. :(

#7 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 10:25 PM


Hi! There are so many sweet and touching love stories, and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade.


Yay!!! :)

Well, it wouldn't've been posted--or written--w/o you. So, mega-thanks to you. :P

Besides, I sorta like rain anyways.


This was inspired by brainstorming a post-ToB Charname-Kivan relationship. But I don't think that's necessary.


really its not. its almost better if you don't explain it... :roll:

Point well taken. Sometimes too much of an a/n exposition ruins the story. And you know what? If I've got to explain in an a/n who my dramatis personae are in those cases where it *is* relevant, then I've not done my job.

i enjoyed it and loved it first time around... :evil:

Wheee! Thanks.

sometimes the greatest passion comes from the words that aren't said.

Sometimes. :D And sometimes...


Why would they? It just wasn't true.


yeah, right... :cry:

But if you *believe* you're not in love, isn't that half the battle?

this is the part i like best...the people and non-people...uncontious, and utterly normal, the awareness of the difference between elves and others...with just a few words you showed the gulf, the chasm, and how its quite impossible to bridge it...

Gee, thank ye kindly, sir. :D I couldn't figure out any other way to get across their elven-ness. It's not like I can say, "Yo! Them's elfs."

another way of showing the difference between the people and non-people...

And another way to perhaps deny any deeper feelings, too.

yes it is.

Or at least according to one definition.

they both put up a pretense of defending their hearts, when they both know its far too late...

Yeah, but in what way *is* it too late? Is it too late because their hearts have been irreparably damaged? Or is it too late because a tendril of sentiment has on the contrary snaked up from the charred ruins (reminescent of Jane Eyre, and the tree that gets knocked down by lightning? Oh crud, I didn't mean to think of Bronte!)?

I liked it!!! :x :( :lol: :lol:

Thank you very much. I'm extremely grateful for your support, and also that you like my humble attempts at writing.

#8 Guest_The Blue Sorceress_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 10:37 PM


Hi! There are so many sweet and touching love stories, and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade.


This was inspired by brainstorming a post-ToB Charname-Kivan relationship. But I don't think that's necessary.


I hope you enjoy. If not, please let me know. :roll:
 


Sweet merciful heavens, woman, I've never *not* enjoyed one of your stories.

You did a great job making a disticntion between affection, even fondness, an Love (capitalization intended.) Like a lot of your more serious stories there's a bittersweet feel to this that I really enjoyed.

-Blue

#9 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 10:46 PM

and like Alpha I'm sorry to rain on your parade


Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one parade-raining... but at least yours has the benefit of being on-topic. :cry:

Aw, but yours was, too. Perhaps it wasn't romantic love, but it was fraternal? sibling love, a willingness to face even the scaffold just to ensure the welfare of your flesh-and-blood. And the affection that Lynn garners from Jaheira (who sincerely cares for Falynn, as Immy points out in sick bay), and also from Keldorn.

They all care for one another. Perhaps they're not smootching it up or burning up the sheets -- ::cough:: ::cough:: Elvira! -- but it is still love. And you deal w/ the conflict of sentiment versus duty quite dramatically (& plausibly) in this story, and how although the law demands the primacy of the latter, the former wins out even in Keldorn. ::sigh:: Did I ever say how much I love your Keldorn? He is smooch-worthy. ::sigh:: ::roll:: ::sigh:: Say, will we ever meet Omega-Maria?

Last quiz's contribution (w/ Khalid pretending to be a slave worker) would've fit, too.

And admittedly these late night grapplings had produced a child, whom they raised together.


To misquote a line from that wonderful show Family Guy: "You were the product of a drunken, backseat gropefest and a broken prophylactic..." :(

LOL! I've not had the pleasure of watching that show. But yeah! It almost sounds like something Al Bundy would've said.

I wondered once--never really cared enough to follow up w/ research (hey! not *that* kind! :D )--whether elves, as supposedly being more attuned w/ nature, are, um, more into that sort of activity than humans and dwarves. I mean, that would sort of explain Laska and drow???

Loveless "marriage," huh? Gee... that's... depressing.

They're not even married. Kivan never referred to Deheriana as his girlfriend or his wife; she was just his "mate."

But just because they don't believe they're in love doesn't mean they (i.e., Kivan and Kalinka) don't bring other positives to their relationship, like loyalty, trust, respect, caring. It's the "you're the other half of my soul" bit that's missing.

I always thought the subject was... interesting despite how just darned sad it is. I mean, it's... really just depressing. You've got these two people, who, for whatever reason, cling to each other, and even though it gets bad (Real bad), they can't seem to give up the ghost of the relationship.

In the backstory (which I haven't shared yet...heck, I've only written two really long chapters and a few background vignettes, and they're all on my HD) they never *were* in love. She was just there because she was on the lam. Hopefully you'll forget this in 3 months, when I'll try to post the story.

I thought this was actually positive. The two of them had lost their "real" loves, and at least they had one another. They're elves. Perhaps in a few centuries they can move on and form "normal" relationships with each other. But for now they have one another, and *because* they have one another nobody else is getting hurt. Containment? Although the little girl will probably have a strange concept of love someday. But I haven't thought about that yet.

There's just something kinda... I don't know... eerie about it, I guess. And I'm never sure what to make of it. My reactions tend to lean towards the kind of rubbernecking you do when you seen an accident on the road. It's horrible, you don't -really- want to see it, but you can't look away.

Gah. Creepy.


Woo-hoo! Thanks! :)

Anyway, this isn't so much creepy as it is just "Throw your morale down the toilet" sad. (Sniff)

I'm gonna need some wanton destruction to cheer myself back up. :lol:

Er...um...I'm sorry for depressing you. :x Your writing makes me feel happy (most of the time, except when a Llyr winds up in lockup. I *really* *don't* want to think of Lynn in jail. I really don't. It makes me so sad for her. And she'd probably be treated really poorly too because she's an officer, a high ranking officer, and by disobeying orders she's sort of like a traitor, and I wonder whether it will permanently damage her career.

::ahem:: I was rambling again, wasn't I? :evil:

Well, anyways, I wanted to apologize for making you feel bad. I'm grateful you took the time to r&r this, and I'll try to do better in future. :lol:

#10 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 11 July 2004 - 11:20 PM

I'm with Alpha on this one... 'tis depressing.

Eep! I don't really like doing Angst. The thing is, when I write depressing stuff, I'm usually in a great mood. When I'm in a bad mood, I don't write at all. So I'm very sorry for inflicting sadness upon you. :evil: When I started this, I did not have a sad pov in mind.

In a way, it's sort of positive, I thought. There are two damaged individuals here, but even if they're not capable of "loving" yet, they're still able to make a connection.

Will they eventually love one another? It's possible, although I wouldn't count on it. But at least for now they're safe. For now they can begin to heal (although they don't realize it's happening), and maybe after a few centuries they can move on and form "normal" romantic attachments with others.

I mean... I could imagine a marriage where one person would not truly love the other, but would still be compelled to stick around and uphold the relationship for either the sake of the other, or just because the aspect of companionship is still too important to just let go off so easily.

::cough-cough:: Moirala and Cor, perhaps? :)

But this... no, this isn't even close to that. I mean, what companionship could Kivan, the grunting elf, provide? :D

ROTFLMAO!!!!! The Grunting Elf indeed! :lol: :cry: :x (Maybe when we click on him, he's actually in the midst of his ablutions? :( Oh wait, that's potty humor.)

You do have a good point, though. I like to brainstorm what Kivan was like *before* he met w/ Charname near Thalantyr's establishment. One of the images I come up with, thanks to his grunting persona, is the Faerunian equivalent of a guy who sits around in his undershirt w/ chips n beer at the ready, watching football on the tv while his wife--whoops, meant "mate" :roll:-- slaves away on the housework. He thinks his marriage (or relationship) is ideal, and is totally floored if/when Deheriana serves him w/ divorce papers. Maybe she ran off to be w/ Tazok? :lol: Nah probably not, but it's fun to spin moonbeams sometimes.

Interesting piece, Ursula. The topic is directly opposite the quiz theme (the love is false, or it just...isn't) that in a way it blends in and becomes an on-topic story. :P

-Theo :D

I appreciate your taking the time to read and review this. I derive so much enjoyment from your Theo, that I'm honored when you read my contribution attempts. (I've GOT to catch up! the last I remember is the Harper Dude being implicated in BG slavery ring, and Theo + Immy conspiring to hide this from the Big J. Silly Theo. When will he learn it's *impossible* to hide things from the Big J? ::scratches head:: Unless he's learned this lesson--again!)

Take care. :P

#11 Guest_Ursula_*

Posted 12 July 2004 - 02:54 AM

Sweet merciful heavens, woman, I've never *not* enjoyed one of your stories.

That's very sweet of you to say. :evil: Thanks! ::ego grows exponentially::

You did a great job making a disticntion between affection, even fondness, an Love (capitalization intended.) Like a lot of your more serious stories there's a bittersweet feel to this that I really enjoyed.

-Blue

Thank you. I'm glad it was to your liking. I must confess, I'd never be able to write a love story, because I'm not an intense feeler, not anymore...so I had to skew the topic a bit. :roll:

But thank you for an original--not to mention memorable, and inspiring--quiz. :cry:




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com