A boy named (Hopefully on) (short)
#1 Guest_Asuka_*
Posted 24 June 2004 - 03:37 AM
"A boy named"
My life is a pretty sad story. It was back before all the time troubles when I was three my father did a pretty cruel thing by leaving my mother and I to fend for ourselves. The cruelest thing he did was giving me a name. He must have thought it was funny and I was sure laughed at by a lot of folks. It seemed my life wouldn’t be easy a boy having a name that I did. When I would talk to a girl I would get red and if a man would laugh I would be in for a fight. I grew up quick in Baldur’s Gate and so my fist got hard and my wits became keen. I roamed the sword coast to hide my shame. So I made a vow to the moon and stars that I would search the bars and inns and kill that man. After the Bhaal Spawn wars I found my self in Athkatla and my throat was dry. So I went to the slums on a dirty road to the Copper Coronet to get ale. There at a table dealing lotus was the mangy dog who named me. I knew that serpent was my father from a worn out portrait that my mother had. I knew that scar and that evil eye. He was grey and bent and old. My blood ran cold. I walked up to table where all the others looked with scowling faces and I took a deep breath and said:
“MY NAME IS SUE! HOW DO YOU DO! NOW YOUR GONNA DIE!”
This is a short story adaptation of A boy named sue" by the late Johnny Cash. I hoped you like it!
Linky for lyrics.
http://www.banned-wi...rks/boysue.html
#2 Guest_Userunfriendly_*
Posted 24 June 2004 - 05:26 AM
Hey all!!! This is my second submission. This is an adaptation of a song and I hioe you lie my little short!!! Plz give me any comments!
"lie your little short?" well since i like it, does it mean i have to say i hate it??? (tease)
"A boy named"
I like it...you've kept the mood of the original, but i do wish you had done more with it...
My life is a pretty sad story. It was back before all the time troubles when I was three my father did a pretty cruel thing by leaving my mother and I to fend for ourselves. The cruelest thing he did was giving me a name. He must have thought it was funny and I was sure laughed at by a lot of folks. It seemed my life wouldn’t be easy a boy having a name that I did. When I would talk to a girl I would get red and if a man would laugh I would be in for a fight. I grew up quick in Baldur’s Gate and so my fist got hard and my wits became keen. I roamed the sword coast to hide my shame. So I made a vow to the moon and stars that I would search the bars and inns and kill that man. After the Bhaal Spawn wars I found my self in Athkatla and my throat was dry. So I went to the slums on a dirty road to the Copper Coronet to get ale. There at a table dealing lotus was the mangy dog who named me. I knew that serpent was my father from a worn out portrait that my mother had. I knew that scar and that evil eye. He was grey and bent and old. My blood ran cold. I walked up to table where all the others looked with scowling faces and I took a deep breath and said:
hmmm....its a little too close to the original...you've conveyed the mood of the song very well, possibly too close??? sorry, but it seems like a prose version of the song, with relatively minor alterations...
I really wish you had added more touches..sorry, mind is blank (specific suggestion wise), but you know what i mean...
“MY NAME IS SUE! HOW DO YOU DO! NOW YOUR GONNA DIE!”
before i read the original lyrics, i kept thinking...
"My name is inago montoya. you killed my father, prepare to die!"
This is a short story adaptation of A boy named sue" by the late Johnny Cash. I hoped you like it!
it was a good piece, just room for your own touch and more stuff added...
Linky for lyrics.
http://www.banned-wi...rks/boysue.html
#3 Guest_Asuka_*
Posted 24 June 2004 - 05:30 AM
#4 Guest_Userunfriendly_*
Posted 24 June 2004 - 06:09 AM
Thanks UUF. and your right I should of done more but I couldn't think of much and I wanted to do something for the quiz so this came out. Oh well. For some reason every time I read it im get more dissapointed with it. Next time ill do some better original work. I think this one plagerizes too much.
don't worry about it...actually, i just realized, the concept behind it could be very interesting indeed...i mean people write songs to tell a story, you've written a story about a song...
actually that's a darned interesting idea...
#5
Posted 24 June 2004 - 09:20 PM
"A boy named"
My life is a pretty sad story. It was back before all the time troubles when I was three my father did a pretty cruel thing by leaving my mother and I to fend for ourselves. The cruelest thing he did was giving me a name. He must have thought it was funny and I was sure laughed at by a lot of folks. It seemed my life wouldn’t be easy a boy having a name that I did. When I would talk to a girl I would get red and if a man would laugh I would be in for a fight. I grew up quick in Baldur’s Gate and so my fist got hard and my wits became keen. I roamed the sword coast to hide my shame. So I made a vow to the moon and stars that I would search the bars and inns and kill that man. After the Bhaal Spawn wars I found my self in Athkatla and my throat was dry. So I went to the slums on a dirty road to the Copper Coronet to get ale. There at a table dealing lotus was the mangy dog who named me. I knew that serpent was my father from a worn out portrait that my mother had. I knew that scar and that evil eye. He was grey and bent and old. My blood ran cold. I walked up to table where all the others looked with scowling faces and I took a deep breath and said:
“MY NAME IS SUE! HOW DO YOU DO! NOW YOUR GONNA DIE!”
Short but sweet. Such an angry, angry young man. Well, at least his dad didn't call him Susan.
---Weyoun
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Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.
Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!
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"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi
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